Latest / Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration / A Little Surprise in the Forest
Transcript
- Where's mom? She's out in the forest, getting milk. You've all been training in your Reagan impressions? We are sponsored by what just happened, Fireworks. Have we ever selected what our characters are allergic to? Wah. You don't have enough badges to train me, Tanhauser. You finally know what it's like to be B. Why does it suck so much? Everyone stop. Wait, beat up! Also, we get to do the old tradition now that we have to sync audio for EZ. Oh, yeah. Oh, joy! We get to do that. Hey, EZ started around this of us mentioning the thing and stuff. All right, everyone. Three, two, one, go! Excellent, sexy! Who's ready to play some rut grind? Yay! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh! Drink, we will. It looks in the audio waveforms now with the thing, and I'm like, oh, they're speakers. Yes, of course, of course. Speakers becomes a fucking solid wall. This is normal. They call me the worst audio in all of the internet. They call me the wall because my waveform looks like a square. Because my waveform too big and so was my heart. And also, EZ, we're actually going to get started in another 20 minutes, so if you just want to skip ahead, that's okay, EZ. We gotta have our second pre-show with chat. Hi, chat. Also, Hogi, make sure you have a herepoint on your guide. But of course, welcome back, everybody. Hope you guys have been enjoying the series so far. Of course, everyone will support us and stuff like that. You can always go to narrativedeclaration.com, where Odo did a good job, you know, getting all nice and pretty for us and stuff. So you can head over there and get our streaming schedule, video release schedule, head over to our Patreon, get PDFs, get maps that we use and stuff. And I think I was actually working on that old Ziscorin, like, war engine thing that you did, Thurston. I think I was working on that for the next PDF. So I just gotta do some lore bits, fix up some things, and that'll be the next PDF that goes out, so you guys can use that and destroy each other in your own games. But of course, with that, Thurston, Thurston? Yes. Yes. Yes. What adventure do you have for us today? Well, last time, you met a new friend. Do you remember the friend that you met? I don't. I don't. Yeah. Who was the friend you met? The giant acid spewing dragon. I thought you said the giant ass dragon for a second. The giant ass dragon. That is a big ass dragon. It is accurate. Or one of them, their ass dragons just came out. I don't want to know what that breath weapon does. I am. Yeah. Yeah. Um. So. Off to a great start. Welcome back, everybody. Good bit. How far did it fall? Good bit. It crashed into me. Yeah. No, you had a lovely encounter against a, um, a dragon. Big hole, scary dragon. This was because you were all present at a fine, fine festival, uh, where nothing weird was happening. And in fact, you were just getting paranoid. I don't know why you're. Um. Shit. Sure. You're breaking up a bit on discord, by the way. He's too quiet. Oh, am I? Uh, you like to go away from your bike a lot. Dragon. I'm actually right in front of my mic. So once, uh, oh, it's cause it's cause my gain is like, or sorry, my discord sensitivity was set stupidly. Uh, okay. Um, so there is, there was a big old dragon and that came in across the festival. Baldrick was away from this sadly. Um, but you managed to fend off the dragon, uh, along with a host of, um, what appeared to be lizard men who were attacking during, uh, as this was going on, uh, Berdivar, um, managed to take the Amarvid people, uh, rush them away, allowing the rest of you to, to combat the dragon. Um, dragons seem to enjoy taking its time toying with you, but once you've managed to kind of, um, lock in, there was significant damage done and you managed to drive the beast off. Um, we are going to return right in the direct aftermath of that. Uh, with all of you kind of catching your breath, um, and breathing. At this point, I just assume, uh, Baldrick exits from the, uh, the large meeting hall in town. You all have a moment to sort of catch up. Baldrick, you would have heard the sounds of, of fighting outside as you were preparing by the time you got out. You can see that whatever major threat, uh, has departed, uh, that there are the corpses of some of the Amarvid people, as well as, uh, some scattered lizard, uh, folk individuals around here. What the hell happened? Rot dragon. Hey. What? Yeah. Big ass rotten dragon. Rot dragon. Yep. Yep. We almost got it. We almost did. Almost. So it seems like the, uh, reports of the lizard men were, uh, not only true, but more pressing than Berdivar seemed to let on. All right. Is everyone still here? I'm alive. Um. Okay. That's good. We all survived. And now we must track this beast to its ghastly lair and end it for the safety of Orin's people. Right. What are the casualties looking like? Everybody managed to make it out? It's a great question. I assume we're near Orin's father at this point. Yeah. I mean, I mean, he went into, he went into the sort of communal place. He hasn't come out yet. You can see that there's maybe a dozen or so bodies, about twice as many lizard folk bodies that are around here. Orin will waddle over to one of the lizard bodies and kneel down to it. And I would like to, uh, I guess there's two options. I think society would be more correct to be like, where have these lizards been? Like, have their, are they ones near here or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. He's like, excellent. Complicate for me. No. Well, shit. I have a plus zero to society. The best part is I have a one, I have a 5% chance of being right in my, my proclamation. I have a zero on society. It's untrained. You still allow me to do it? Yeah, of course. Okay. That is a 12. Could be worse. That's just 12. There are communities of lizard folks that dwell in the areas surrounding Beric's fingers. Yeah. That's basically it. I don't know where these lizard man came from. Oh, they're just from around here. Yeah. But to get up to here so high is odd. It's like, I'm really surprised that they were able to even able to get past everybody. Normally we would have like scouts and stuff around, but he kind of kicks one of the corpses. Guess everybody was distracted by the festival. Yeah. Here, let's go check in with my dad. I mean, they see whoever else is still, you know, up and going and see if anybody needs help. Right. Sounds like a wise idea. Let us go quickly. And so as you, as you begin making your way towards the sort of communal hall, as you do, the door bursts open and out emerges Berdivar, the large man wielding like a spear in both hands, looking around. Who do I have to fight? You haven't hurt my boy. Have you? Oh, it's okay, Dan. We drove it away. You drove it away. Oh, he drops the spear and gives you a hug. Give me a fortitude save for us. Back to this. Back to this. He just kills him. Okay. There we go. I don't know how to roll. Reroll. Instead of one. Complicate, die. That is a total of a 41. Somehow your bird bones manage to withstand the pressure that is, that is exerted upon you as a Berdivar grapples you in a bear to hug. I'm good, Dan. We made the dragon go away. Ah, very good. I'm very proud of you. Look like he looks over all of you. This is, this is a bad omen. What are we going to do? Oh. He has not let go of Oren yet. Quiet, Oren. Quiet, Oren. We're talking here. Yeah, shut up. Yeah. Shut up, bird boy. The adults are talking. Yeah, we fucking punch him. We start spitting on him. What is, what is this? What is this we? Baldrick was out getting like a beer or something. Well, you guys were fighting. He was getting busy. Well, you can participate in this too, Baldrick. Here, take the cigarette and burn him. Yeah. Put it out on him. Baldrick, Baldrick. Holy shit, you're mean. Baldrick taps the end of the cigarette onto Rahua. I'm not doing that. But in the actual timeline where that didn't happen, Tanhauser will speak. Here is what I resolve we do. I believe that we must track this wrought dragon to its ghastly lair and bring an end to it and whatever facilitated its corruption. Only then can you be free and truly safe from these rotten fisted lizard folk. That's a good idea. Also, you should let go of Warren before he dies. Uh, but, but, what about Astrid? Oh, oh. Roll a four. This is the gym. Oh, excellent. Excellent. You're managing to breathe, but barely. Okay. Okay. We can attempt to find Astrid as well. Perhaps she... Find? Baldrick smacks his own forehead and there's a loud metallic pang. As Oren's being squished, he looks up at his dad. He's like, where's mom? She's, uh, she's out in the forest getting milk. Oh, she's always so thoughtful. Uh, perhaps a more reasonable approach to this problem than the milk story, which will only last for so long. I mean, she always goes and gets milk. She's lasted for the last 15 years. She hasn't been done in 15 years. She hasn't been done in 15 years. Son of a bitch. No, he's just used the milk story, like, off and on over the last 15 years. Not that she's been gone for 15 years. I assume as she's been saying this, he, like, puts a giant hand over Oren's head and just kind of, like, where you can't hear very well. He does the thing where he, like, takes his thumb and, like, index finger and puts them on either side of Oren's head and covers his ears. You know, I actually think I have an idea. Uh-oh. I'm going to, yeah, that's always a good sign. I'm going to lean in close to good bird bar. Bird bar. And, uh, I'm going to attempt to try to convince him of something. Uh, I'd like to lean in and say, Bird bar. I understand. Bird divar. Bird divar. Bird divar. I understand that you and Oren both would be devastated if anything were to happen to Oren's mother. But you must be realistic and earnest. It would be better that Oren be prepared if the worst had occurred rather than finding his mother's body somewhere in the mountains. It would also do well for you. And I'm going to ask, this might be a stretch. Okay. But since I am attempting to impress him on Bird divar, a truly terrifying thing, which is the possibility that his wife is dead. Could I try to intimidate him? Could I try to use intimidate? Not in the typical way, but rather because I'm attempting to use fear as my persuasive lever. They appreciate that, like, speaker will just go out of his way every time to be like, I'm going to make this my social skill. No matter what the fuck you want, I'm doing this. Roll the check. Look, you're going to roll the one anyways. So just. Damn. This hasn't worked. This hasn't worked. Five percent chance. Five percent chance. Five percent chance. Okay. I'm going to be right one of these five percent chance times. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Fuck. Guess what? Guess what? I do also have an item that gives me menacing greater. Oh my God. You fucking like, haha, Yu-Gi-Oh trap card. I got you to agree. We, we, you roll into this every time trying to be as diplomatic as possible using Speaker D's own inherent diplomatic ability to try and tell Thurston, hey, I know that in the past we have ruled that Intimidate has a long term drag on us. This is like the 20th time. But, and then you immediately go in with, oh, also I have a greater, greater, like, I make people shit their pants when they see me. You know, that happens in diplomacy, doesn't it? You know what? All I'm hearing, all this negativity, all I hear from Erndel is I hear Erndel on his knees, crying, begging me. Please talk about communism more. Please make everything about communism. Because the other option is society. So you must talk about communism or fear. Speaker, your lever swings between, I'm going to convince Thurston intimidation is diplomacy and communism. You do one or the other. He can say no. He can say no. Okay. Intimidation is diplomacy. You know what he's going to do, Speaker? He's going to say, I'll allow it. And then he'll, he'll pull our fucking pants down later over it. Thurston is going to become the final boss again. I don't think he's gonna, but I think, I think you might be talking him into it. I don't have to talk him into shit. He'd makes his own mind. Intimidation as diplomacy. One must give him credit is new. This, this is a new thing that he's attempting in. He's not trying to use the side. You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you. You don't deserve my help. Fucking talk to him about it yourself. You don't deserve my plum hat. Make the face do something face-like? I think that's a beautiful idea. We should do that. Oh no. Me? You have diplomacy. Speaker made the plea. Speaker can roll the dice. Well, since, since I, I'm sure that all of my value and efforts will be lost on you, but very well, I will roll. That is a 17 on the dice for total of 33. Yes, you make a very good point. I agree with everything that you've said. You should go and deal with the dragon first. Absolutely. You know, that, that, that just makes sense. Uh, he takes his like fingers off of, uh, Oren's ears. It, it just takes a while to get the milk, Oren. Everything will be fine. Oh, okay. I don't, I don't think he was, I don't think he was listening. Oren blanks with one eye and then the other. I look at Vina. Are you any good at talking to people? I forget. Vina's like facing the wrong direction. I should've taken diplomacy. Like staring into the middle distance. There's like a, like watching a bird on the horizon and just what? No, I'm not. I should've taken diplomacy. I should've taken diplomacy. God, why did I make a damage class? I should've just been in the face again. You see, that's what, you see, that's what I'm saying, right? Imagine if I didn't have to bullshit all my stupid skills. We'd solve problems too easily. I simply must. At the start of the season, you were able to basically remake your character. Why didn't you put it in diplomacy? Because that would fucking change everything. I already had to irritate everything else. I felt like it would be dishonorable if I, what if Tanhauser suddenly wasn't scary? That he's a different character. That he's Gladhauser. What if Tanhauser was bald? And he was a wizard. Then he'd be Tanhauser. Then he'd be Tanhauser. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It also just amuses me that you're like, oh man, Tanhauser, naturally not the talking person at all. But I made damn well sure I'm trained in acrobatics and athletics. Yeah, cause I fucking kill people and do fucking grappling hook stuff. Not anymore. I still do grappling hook stuff. I swear to God. Didn't I use my grappling hook like five sessions ago? No. Alright. Hang on. I gotta contend with someone in chat here because they raise a good point, but I'm gonna be ornery briefly. I am regretting, I am not regretting being the sensible one in the group. I'm regretting being the sensible one and not having the mechanical stats to back it up. I want to point out, I just want to rewind to like Veena being like, nah, I'm not good at talking to people. Master diplomacy. Master fucking diplomacy. Fucking master. Master deception. I'm gonna turn into a race car. He's gonna go after the dragon, right guys? But Marlene's hiring. Yeah, I think we better go after the dragon at this point. Yes. Let's go after the dragon. We don't need to convince Berdivar to go after the dragon. We are going to go after the dragon. And we can talk about it on the way, right? Sure. I've got a bad feeling about this. Well, if we're gonna go hunt it for something like that, we probably need to figure out more about it. Yes, I suppose so. I mean, we've already fought one. He kind of looks at Gorgomonger. Yeah. Hey, Gorgomonger. How do you kill dragons? Hey, Gorgomonger. Remember when we killed you again? No. Hey, Gorgomonger. How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands? Well, Gorgomonger is just like, I don't know, just like the like emo hair thing and like swishes his head a bit. There's no hair, but just kind of does the head swish. How would he know to do that? Because he's a powerful dragon. Okay. And he just like looks at you, Oren, and then shakes his head and just kind of like steps away. Does he step so far away he goes at a hundred feet and disappears? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. He fucking walks out of existence. You've pissed off your familiar so much he's despawning himself. Good thing this is the most appropriate context to say that. Wow. All right. So this rot dragon, we've seen something like it before. Has this dragon, is it one that you recognize? Is it one that's been here in the fingers for a while? Or like, did it used to be here and was corrupted or did it come from somewhere else? Where there, there might be, uh, most of the dragons left these lands, as Soren will tell you. Gorgamonger was one of the, the last. One of the last, but not the last. I think, first, tell us about the dragons here and we'll work backwards. Well, most of them have been slain. Some have gone south. The only one we don't have accounted for was Ralrus, but Ralrus was slumbering for a, for a century. I've never seen him even in my lifetime. Ralrus. Okay. And is there a description of him? Stories? Anything? Art. Art? Uh, no, just, just some, some very basic sketches. And, uh, like, he'll take you back into, into the meeting hall where he does show you some, some art on the wall, but it's, it's very basic. Like, it's the outline of John Dragon. Like, it's the most, just like, simplistic style that you've seen. It's hard to pinpoint anything from what you're seeing. Um, there is, there is, however, some additional details. Um, one of the things that, that you, you, you're able to see is that it had, Ralrus, uh, had this, this sort of, uh, under name called the, like, he was known as the Fierce. Uh, he guarded the mountain, the highest peak on Berg's fingers, which was, um, some sort of, um, some sort of area known as the source. Um, which the, the locals here venerate in quite, quite a, um, you know, quite a deep way. Um, you don't find more details on that, um, in the writings here, but you can see that, like, Ralrus was a, like, vehement protector of the source. Hmm. Hmm. And, given, you know, how the rot has spread, has it appeared anywhere in the mountains? Oh. Well, we haven't sent anyone up to the mountains in a while. I've just, we've got some reports in the, in the foothills, the forest land surrounding. That's, uh, that's where, looks over to Orrin awkwardly, that's where Aestrid went to look for milk. So Aestrid is going to investigate and she hasn't come back. I raise a hand. Orin? It's mostly a player raises a hand. Like, I was like, there's no intelligence check as far as I can tell. Cause I can't really do that. Why would you like me to roll if Orin puts two to two together? Uh, that would be a wisdom or a perception check. I'll actually, I'll give you perception. Okay. Hey, two. It was almost a one. Oh! Toe of the dodge, total of 23. Orin just kind of blinks. It does not. It's a very stretchy, stretched milk story. But, I mean, your mom has often come back with milk. He's like, ah, must be some really good milk. Uh, so, is Aestrid more knowledgeable about these sorts of things? Tell us about her. Well, she's much more in tune with nature than maybe I am, maybe. Maybe. Yes, she is. Yes. She's a potent spell caster, attuned with nature. Um, kind of like, like, he's, he's like, he's having difficulty sort of exposing on how awesome she is. Because, and you don't even have to make a check. It's very clear. He's like, she's way cooler than me. Um. So that's kind of, that's kind of where he like trails off a bit and is like, oh, she could speak with plants. And she could, she could turn into a plant. And she could, she fed us. And, and, and, like, just kind of like, goes off on these things. Veena's just kind of nodding along. Okay. Did she, did she have any special knowledge of dragons? Well, she was one of the ones who would go up into the mountains in ages past. Well, not ages, but you, you, you know, decades ago. Mom helped out with the rookery. That's right. Remember dad? So basically whenever we would take care of animals or anybody and stuff, she would always be the one to help out. Like she's super cool. And also really smart. And she hunts really good and finds the best milk. Right. She knows about the greening way better than all of us. Hmm. Hmm. So it's very important that she gets home soon. And Veena's going to give Berdavar a very pointed look and just, so it's important that she gets home soon. And I think that she would recognize that Oren isn't a child anymore. And maybe that he should be given a little more credit here. Uh, well, I suppose you're, you're, you're right on that. Yes. Uh. I look at Berdavar with the biggest, wet, innocent eyes. And you know, blink, blink, blink. That maybe you should trust that your son has come home more than the little boy he left. And that maybe, just maybe there's a reason why he survived this long and become such a hero. Oh, I'm imagining he like looks to Oren and he's just only just sees him as a child. Oh yeah. He's a hundred percent. He's a hundred, a hundred percent. Um. Yeah. Veena's giving Berdavar a very pointed look like, listen, man, somebody's going to tell him and I'm giving you the chance to be the one. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, oh, oh. My butt. Do I need to roll diplomacy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give me, give me, give me that. All right. Uh. Try to intimidate him. You're right. God damn it. All right. Uh, get ready for this one. Sure. That's a 10. Okay. Actually, that's fine. That's a 33. Your mom's not going to get milk. She went out into the forest to try to find out what was happening. And why the lizard folk were so angry with us and why the dragons had left. And I told her not to go, but she went anyways. And I had to stay here to protect the village. And she hasn't been back yet. And I'm very worried. Orin's just looking at his father. And you try to see as, as he continues on, he's just smiling, kind of going, yay. It's my dad, you know, and the continue on. The more he continues on, you see the smile fade as it turns more and more into a frown. And he goes, dad, where did mom go? Orin, my boy? She went into the forest at the foothills of the mountain. Dad? Orin, my boy? We're going to take some supplies. And I'm going to get mom. All right. Orin just kind of like, doesn't even, no affection to his father. Just immediately kind of turns and goes over further to the great hall. Maybe over to another section where basically like a pantry would be. He starts packing food and rations and, uh, starts taking up little bits and bobs of what he can. Uh, preparing every, like preparing other people's, you know, food stacks and everything else to get ready for a journey further out into the forest. And... Berdivar sits on a like comically undersized stool and starts sobbing. Okay. All right. You guys help Orin pack up. All right. I'm, I'm not, I'm not really good at survival. I only have like a plus two to that. So you, you go help him out. I'll talk to Berdivar. All right. You know, if not for the fact that that stool was so comically undersized, this would be, well, it'd be kind of soul crushing, but that makes it a little less sad. Yeah. There's always going to be a little bit of levity. Crack bang. His ass hits the floor. No, it's worse. No, it sucks. His eyes are closed. His mouth is pursed like, like speed. Just trying so hard to keep composure. Life is beautiful. Veena's going to walk over and she's going to very gently pat Berdivar's shoulder while kind of gesturing with her head for Baldrick, Tanhauser and Rahua to go help Orin. Baldrick is already going. Yeah, we'll go. We'll go ten to the Oran. Hello, little blue girl. Hello. I think you made the right choice, Berdivar. Listen. Did I? Yes. He's going to be so angry at me now. Well, he would have been angrier if you didn't tell him at all. Come on. Orin has been through a lot. I could sit here for hours and tell you all of the stories of all of the things that we've done together from day one. He's gone so far. He's made such a big mistake. A mistake? I mean, yeah. He's been through a lot of pain. Going after Gorgamonger was... I mean... But what he did to Gorgamonger... What he did? He told you, right? Um... He was... I mean, I met him when he was looking for Gorgamonger, and then... We found that something terrible had happened to Gorgamonger, and went out of our way to make him better. Oh. Oh. The Sniff Lake stops. Give me a perception check. Uh-oh! Oh! Oh, not great. That's a 29. You are not sure why, but there is some, like... Something underlying to what he just said. Like... Something's off. And he's very quickly back-stepping. Uh... Hey, Beardival. What... What do you mean by that? Oh, well, just... Just that he's such a... He's such a... A delicate boy, and I thought the milk story would... You know... Keep him... Keep him honest and good. Keep him honest and... What happened with Gorgamonger? Oh. Does this have to do why Gorgamonger went missing? Oh... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. No, no, no, no. Beardival, is it important to what we're about to do here? Well... Um... If there's something you're holding back, if there's something you're holding back that is important to what is about to happen here... You need to tell us. He picks up a piece of the stool and starts fidgeting with it without making eye contact with you. Well... Beardival, we need every single tool in our toolbox to make sure that when we go out there, we come back. Including your son. Now, we've made it this far, but only because we have been damn good at what we do. Um, and I'm not gonna roll deception for that, despite the fact that that's a little bit of a lie, but don't even worry about it. What are you talking about? Of course it's the truth. It's absolutely the truth. We've gotten this far because we kill everything. That means we're competent. That's true. But it hasn't been because we're prepared. God forbid. I don't know. We could have done better if we were more prepared. Would it have been funny, though? True. But I need... I need your word. A promise. Can't tell anyone else. I only trusted to you, little blue girl. Because you're the nice one. You didn't try to bully me like the robot man. Oh, fuck off. Come on, man. Come on, man. Ah, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Sorry, Oren. Your dad's a lost cause. God forbid a robot be partying that kid. Oh, my goodness. Look, if I didn't pay... If I didn't pay that off, I would have heard the end of it. No, I get you. I get you. Ugh. All right. Just... Let me know. Your word. Not a word of this to any one of your friends or Oren that I told you. Oren's like family. If this is important, if this is something that could... Your word. He's like got like those like, you know, like super red eyes now, but he's become kind of serious. He's staring at you. Fine. I give my word. All right. I didn't want to believe it when you came here, but... What Oren has done to that poor majestic dragon... He's unspeakable. It's the only reason I didn't want him to go searching for his mother when he came. Because she might disown him, but she sees what he's done. To that... That... That... That majestic creature. What? You're talking about how Gorgamunger is now? How he's bound to this world when he shouldn't be. Unfortunately, the alternative would be to leave him rotting in the swamps of the solitude. Not... Not the body. The spirit. Oh. Would his spirit have been able to move on? Corrupted by the rod as it was? It already had. He pulled it back. Oh. He couldn't bear to be away from his childhood friend. Oh. Vena's going to kind of cross her arms and look uncomfortably between Berdivar and Oren. Oren's like... Oren's probably like, like, clearly, like, I don't know, a half football field away. Because it's just a large, all stuffing shit, I'm assuming. Right, Soren? Yeah. Yeah, we're just... I'm just finding stuff. Like, Baldrick, hold these bombs. All right. I'm already doing that, but sure. Here's more bombs. All right. We just have them. God mod. Why? We're going to the source. False bombs. We created a howitzer off-screen. Hang on. Can I roll a... Can I roll a crafting check to see the quality of these bombs that have been brought into existence? Please. Please. Okay. Because I haven't rolled anything yet and I want to do that. Let me roll a crafting check. I want you to complicate this time so that the bombs explode and we have an off- Oh, I'm literally waiting for that because I'll shit you nuts, Thurston. One of my complications might pertain to that. Beautiful. Do it. Oh, that's not going to happen. Oh! 43. Oh! Damn! I think winked. You winked. You winked. You winked at the one. Um, yeah, there's, there's, um, there's, they're, they're bombs. They're basic alchemical, like alchemist style fire that's been crafted here. Oh, but they're like, they're like entry-level college stuff. Oh, oh yeah, yeah. This is like the stuff you would buy at the general store. Oh, I would find these explosives at just like the coroner's shop. There, there's, uh, the, the tine equivalent of the, uh, uh, American firework store. The one that's got the, the puppy holding onto the, the piece of bamboo. It's like, what the hell just happened? Yes. A hundred percent. I, uh, Baldrick thinks for a moment because he's about to say, I should probably teach your people how to make better bombs, but then he realizes that's not really a good idea. And he stopped the thought there. Yeah. These are bombs. They'll do. Why not make a homegrown terrorist cell in the middle of the woods? Baldrick doesn't want to make more terrorists. He wants to be the terrorist. So the terrorism stops with him. True. Sorry. I turned into, turned into fucking Ronald Reagan there for a second. I think it's about time for us to stop making bombs. Only I can have bombs. Not you. Well, it's like me and Nance like to say the industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for all of mankind. It's true. It's true. Carry on. Training in your Reagan impressions. What the fuck is happening? I would like to spend a narrative declaration. Yes. Make some logic of this, particularly for our, our next episode for this. Uh, Oren, Oren's having the mindset that we need to prepare. It's going to be a long journey for this and to kind of go in, uh, to those woods, especially with the dragon around, you know, they want to prepare. Uh, and the narrative declaration is basically, he kind of knows where a cache of supplies are or basically a quartermaster of someone who like takes care of some of the caches caches and stuff that along the way they can make us stop at and get some gear, obviously, you know, compensating for it and things like that pretty much to allow some shopping to happen after this episode. So people can, you know, buy some potions, wands, upgrade some stuff, get some runes if we need to, things like that to, to allow us to prepare ourselves. Uh, cause he will find a map of basically where some of these caches are in, in supply locations. And he'll be like, he'll be like, Mr. Tannehazer here. And he kind of hands it to you. And he's like, those are, we have to stop him several, several of those before we get to the forest. So I, I, I will absolutely allow it, especially cause like, I was very much worried at the timing of your narrative declaration. Cause I was really worried you were going to like, say like, there's not like suspended narrative declaration to declare Ronald Reagan was in charge of outset. I was set for a period of time. Thank you. You know what Thurston? That's a- Fuck you Hulkie. Gross. I'm karate chopping Hulkie in the throat. Move on. We're not doing that. You, you, you have a, you have a, the card for, for when you're in the, in the mountains to do some purchasing. Absolutely. I hand the map to Tannehazer. He's like, here you go, Mr. Tannehazer. Excellent. What am I supposed to do with this? As Ori kind of unfolds it a little bit as he kind of shows everyone around him. He kind of points to several parts of the map. He's like, this is where we are. And where, where dad said where mom is, is here, is potentially around here. And he kind of circles an area. And it's like, if we stop by these points, we could pick up some supplies along the way. That sounds good by me, Tannehazer says with plus three to his survival stat. I got a plus three survival. Do not hand my ass the map. Hand him the map. Hand him the map. He's going to hold it for now, you know. I'll hold it. I'll hold it. He holds it upside down. You want help with that, Tannehazer? Yes! Yes! I don't understand maps! Says the wizard. What do you mean you don't understand? I don't know. I thought I did and then I saw this one. He understands like urban maps really, really well. He's like studied them. And then you hand him a map of a forest. And he goes, I don't know what a tree is. I'm from a place with no plants! They're scary! But not you, Rue. Well, actually, Rue is pretty scary. Rue is pretty scary. Rue looks hard. His beanie green eye. Look at that! The famous teeth. He sends me back in time all the time. I'm fighting dinosaurs or whatever. Ugh. Do you want to go back in time again? I had... That's a punishment. Why do you like that? No. I'm a time wizard! I save fucking a coin. Oh shit, you too! Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's why... You ever notice why I keep casting all that magic? That time magic? How I can delay consequences? Yeah! Yeah. But, you know, I guess... Has the background changed for anybody else? Yeah. We're in the time limit. Oh yeah, we do the exact... Ah! I see a phantom! A phantom before my chamber door! Yeah! All right. We're good. Sorry, I thought I saw a gnome. Oh, that's just Pauly Chestnuts. He'll come back. No, I hope not. Did you name him? Yeah. Pauly Chestnuts. That's his backup character now. Literally, that's gonna be the fucking like, all right, I've finally killed a few players and like immediately just the gnome. I want to very briefly direct the squad's attention to the general chat here. I've linked something very important. Oh no, oh no, okay. Uh oh. What's Robin Erndl put in? Is a firework hexagon box that says What just happened? It has a cute puppy on it. And he says... World cloud. ...orange people's quality of chemical explosives. It's a city. Holy shit. That's what Baldrick sees. That's what Baldrick sees. That's what Baldrick sees when he looks at Orin. It looks so shell-shocked. Fuck. Sorry, not the bear on top? I don't know what that bear is there for. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, I don't get it, but it's funny. What just happened? What just happened? What just happened? Put that on screen. Put that on screen. Now that we've undercut the serious moment between Veena and Orin. Yeah, very, very... Yeah, it's like, it's like, this is very important. Let me give you the deep background on exactly the awful thing Orin that looks over. Like fucking, like, Orin's pulled out. What just happened? Puppy finds, like, explosives and is handing them to Baldrick. This is where we get our weird and silly out now. Because we have to be serious for Black Crusade. Exactly. You gotta exercise it like a demon. There you go, chat. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There you go, chat. It's just so fucking... Like, the way it's hugging the fucking... It's like scared. It's like a panda! It's afraid! What just happened? Like... Ugh. Americans love fireworks, sorry. We look terrible. Yeah, sorry. You activated all of us? All right. So... Alas, guys. For those of you who are wondering, though, I did just check. The QR code has exceeded its lifespan. No. FUG! In case, in case you were like me and need to just see where that QR code went. What just happened? What just happened? What just happened? What just happened? What just happened? Um... So, yeah, Vida, Berdivar, his red eyes kind of, like, staring into yours. It wasn't natural what he did. I see. The mother was going to be... Upset? He brought it back. The mother was going to be... The mother was going to be... Upset? He brought it back. The mother was going to be... Upset? He brought it back. I mean... Gorgamonger seems... Happy? What about the last time you saw him? Did he seem happy then? Cut back to, like... 30 minutes ago, go where walks off to his own like self-inflicted yeah oh i see right then i will well anyways good luck he passed you on the shoulder you asked i had to tell thank i've been wanting to tell someone so badly all of the other villagers are just humoring him oh but it's good to have someone i could share that with who can now you know have this deep secret that no one else can know and be with him in close proximity at all times oh good relief yeah yeah you have good impulse control i can tell so you obviously you're not going to bring this up at all vena's like her like your flask feels like really heavy right now vena's like shaky hand was reaching toward the flask and then he says that and she like brings her hands in front of her kind of laces her fingers together it's like white knuckling right well do you think that he knows this he knows it's oh that he did something terrible absolutely then hasn't he seemed a little off to you i mean withdrawn always like his attention is somewhere else in the moment i thought that was just the adhd that's right everybody i've managed to incorporate zoran's producer role into yeah i was gonna say like have you ever noticed he has to stare at the tech on his screen where he can't get enough time to play the game that he wants to play but has to make sure the tech isn't going to explode have you ever heard orin cursing the evil spirit known as obs yeah don't you get it why did this he keep saying something about discourse or something about why it sounds like shit sometimes then we're just going to have to trust that orin will make the right decision on the time he has grown up and that he's not the scared little boy that ran away from home anymore i trust orin with my life and maybe this was a stumble but i think he'll make the right decision and i trust you little blue girl who i only recently met he pats your shoulder again thank you do you even know my name he blinks i think that's a yes it's vena i remember oh my god he hugs you give me a fortitude save oh all right fortitude save oh this is the one in that one damn it that's a 19 i know it's another 19 right beside that one uh your your uh delicate um sylphine bones do not crack under the pressure um okay but you you feel the the smallest bit of what orin must deal with uh when he is uh embraced in this manner i understand now all right thank you meredivar and i'm gonna like pat his shoulder awkwardly we're gonna go find your wife now all right he stares at you like the sky around him suddenly darkens and remember do not tell him have fun kids yep yep vena's going to uh putter away like giving him a shaky thumbs up as she goes he's going to return to the rest of the group assuming at this point we have like backpacks and bags full of food and cooking wear and yeah like what other like terrifying like like piece of gear have you discovered that you've added to your uh like we have like you know the fireworks is there any other horrible thing that you've decided needs to be added what's the most uncomfortable tent that you guys are aware of ooh one that's too small yeah a single pump tent that's no actually you know those uh display tents that they have at stores where only your hand could fit into it everyone has one now just it's like these are the only tents they had available well that's fine because i can cast a tiny hut oh that's really helpful mr tanhouser oh yeah we do have uh pick turns tiny hut yes we have pick turns tiny hut and uh i you know i thought about getting a mansion why didn't i might seem well i i remember when i left that missive outside of everyone's doors you know shortly after we left the pirate nation yeah and i i said hey how important is it to you guys that we don't get scryed on because the giant palace it protects us from scrying yeah no one responded so then i i just learned how to create these giant pollen pods that's pretty cool wouldn't you by default run higher security thanks for a new sponsor sorry there we have no sponsor listen nordvpn if you're out there now is the time you're just leaving money on the ground i don't know why we are sponsored by what just happened fireworks that would be the funniest sponsorship to snag we should we should do it we should we should go for it reach out to them yeah of course yeah right i think everyone's looking at me because i have to send the emails but i have to double check to see their values as a company first i have to do that i have to do the research first that's that's why i said no immediately after i made the joke so you don't have to do that so uh that's that's what i would propose that we like got like camping tents and warm wear in case we had to go up way too high and it's cold for some reason all that and you're like you're you're just like packing this out of anger and like tan house is just standing there like dude i could make it a mansion what are you doing i can make all kinds of cool how is it you see housing shouldn't be a commodity it should be a ritual spell that is called tan hauser free hauser free hauser a mansion rahula i haven't heard from you in a while what are you doing my best as i always do that's all you can do brother can also do his worst that's true i would like to set the map on fire no anarchy baby wild card i guess to rewind to to the moments uh as much as it might be mentioned like oh i can just make a mansion oran brings up well we just want to make sure we can at least you know not be spotted from the dragon from up high so using the cover of trees that were in there probably might be better mr tan hauser otherwise to make your big building or to clear out trees like that it might become super obvious well i i can't make a big building i got all i got is the hut yeah still well you put the hut inside of a big clearing i think it's more defensible than than trees and you can camouflage it with foliage you know like a gilly kind of situation i can make walls so i can make it look like part of the mountain face mr tanhauser the dragon can see it from up high why the hell are you still arguing with me because you're wrong no think again and i leave baldrick walks over to baldrick walks over to oran and he pats him on the shoulder oran i have great news yes mr baldrick i know what it's like to be be oh he looks down at his hands why does it suck so much i know oran you learn to live with it veena comes back with a shell-shocked appearance so uh let's get to it yeah man isn't this great you know we're not flying anywhere we're going on we're going on an adventure like on the ground and we have to walk there and we don't have to worry about and it's just great it's just us it's just veena rua tenhauser baldrick oran and who can forget gorgamonger i'm glad gorgamonger's still around yeah where did gorgamonger wander off to he enters left frame he slides how you doing big man i give him a a grape you dab him up you hit him with a dab that's right you do the smiling friend's unnecessarily rotoscoped hug yeah that's exactly true perfect i should maybe prepare cozy cabin actually well we do have a free one i'm saying yep i got you oran will kind of yell out to his day like dad he looks up with this like hopeful glean in his eye oran my boy do we still have guest rooms available yes of course of course we'll leave in the morning dad all right oran just be safe out there he just goes to his room don't forget brekkie berdivar is like half a football field away as oran chimes out to him as he's sitting in the corner sopping wet and sad yeah no boy we're leaving in the morning dad don't forget brekkie easy edit thurston when he answered that to be really really really quiet edit thurston to be very small true yeah for the australian viewers turn this upside down true easy and easy makes sense color correct this so that it has horrible chromatic aberration and hurts everyone's eyes oh yes please you can ask epilepsy warning before you do that yeah okay oran oran basically heads off to to his old room and basically just like angrily just like he would like enter his room and bring in gorgamonger and basically he's just kind of talking with him and just hanging out with him at this point but he's also just angrily like laying in his bed just having a dialogue of just how mad he is at his father and every time he's like he's like can you believe this gorgamonger and all he gives his way i know right it's like when you talk to your cat where oran where where oran where where oran where that's my gorgamonger was that any good was that anything yeah that was pretty good that was pretty good thank you thanks so i guess in the in the morning tomorrow uh we can head off and begin adventuring indeed let us take a big nap hit the rest okay you all rest up and heal you can you can restore your health uh and remove all those nasty conditions on you my bleed yeah it's been fun looking at your bar where you just have all the debuffs on yeah i know this whole time veena's been in like critical fucking condition yeah she's like bleeding as uh bernifer was explaining all this just uh-huh ain't no thing uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh my little red girl i'm supposed to be blue uh-oh wait what color is veena's blood is it actually red uh i think so unless otherwise stated for the sills are you an iron-based being letting me take the status off i'm bleeding forever yeah you right click it off like a world of warcraft buff on the top right i can't remove mine so i'm just prone forever yeah so if it's not coming off uh in the effects i am right section in your i'll deal one second yeah oh there's the problem you have to right click the uh the yellow looking icon there oh my god if i drag your token over yeah okay your token's good i'll drag veena's token over oh my god there's so many effects yay i love bleeding i love it i love it hooray all right i'm good thank you thirst dragging rahua you're like god you had so much clumsy on you yeah he's just a little clumsy okay veena has been actually playing the entire time uh with 16 hidden stacks of clumsy on oh that explains it i got 16 bone stacks uh the static is not inviting me back that sure was some shit you just said at me that i think pertains to final fantasy 4 yeah some kind of final fantasy player yeah that's fucked up yeah it shouldn't be allowed i know they're gonna they're gonna kill me they're gonna kill me with knives when no tomorrow it's me goku it's coming why is goku killing you yeah if you got hey look you kind of rely on someone you can trust to get the job done who else would go kill many people okay on that fucking terrible joke let's let's take a let's take a a little break everybody we'll come back are you dying mr baldrick no well careful mr baldrick you don't want to get any allergies through the forest you better cover your face oh well you're fine mr baldrick yeah do we have we ever selected what our characters are allergic to you gotta roll for that oh if we were playing a little game called shadow run all right let's see bring that up shadow run allergy table yeah we gotta find out what we're all allergic to this is oh they exist you can absolutely we love d hundred tables i don't i don't think you're misunderstanding and assuming shadow run is a game where you roll on tables constantly to develop like you know growths or something uh you could just pick them and it's very funny because you could be allergic to silver it's great i'm trying to find trying to find it to see if somebody's just randomly put it up because that would be lovely just randomly make us all just like oh yeah let's just you know yeah shadow run yeah fucking great shadow allergy is like you can literally pick anything you could pick if you wanted to have it be like a because doing it gives you points when it comes to like picking traits and whatnot and it gives you additional karma so that you can spend it during character creation some things like oh well you know i've got an uncommon allergy like silver gold antibiotics grass or commonly sunlight seafood bees pollen pollutants wifi sensitivity soy and wheat i found i found a random one on reddit um okay all right roll me uh i'll go down left or right whoever wants to participate oh no do you want to participate it fuck yeah hit me with an allergy uh roll me a d100 i got you see we get one taste of black crusade 87 that is true everybody gets a little tidbit okay you are allergic to dragon scales fuck that's actually a really good one right here that's incredibly relevant right now no it's incredibly relevant right now here's the funny thing is that in terms of uh shadow run logic that would be not only uncommon you would probably be like oh i can make that an extreme allergy so that way i get up to fucking 18 additional karma for doing this kind of thing and then it's like ah now it's time for you to fight the main bad of the game a dragon and odo was like oh no i'm not dunkel zahn not dunkel zahn there's more than just dunkel zahn broaden your horizons read a book yeah i did it was about dunkel zahn okay do you want to participate i do want to participate roll a d100 for me please okay we're gonna d100 62 62 62 uh citrus common that's a good allergy for a tree to have that's a common one i have a question can i add a supplement to that uh zoran can i ask him if he would like the would he like it to be mild moderate severe or extreme allergy oh right the actual shadow run rolls uh i have those i have them i have them i'm just calcing the karma amount he's getting from it well honky how bad you want it to be gamble roll a d4 yeah one two three four five actually there's six of them severe so you can just roll a d6 oh that's not that's not severe that's extreme uh oh good if you come into you know you're getting an extra 25 karma out of it but if you're exposed to citrus you suffer a life-threatening reaction that's awesome i love that all right all right speaker are you ready i'm ready we're only d100 i was born in a lab to become allergic that's a d20 awesome job that's the wrong you were born in a lab all right 31 31 31 it is cats common cats you want to give me a d4 speaker uh sure yeah my grandmother was allergic to cats well luckily for you this is a mild but it's common though which means that you get 10 karma back congratulations average allergy awesome i am i've always been more of a doghauser all right erondale go ahead and roll me yep uh i'm gonna give you a 14 uh with that re-roll oh re-roll because 1 to 30 it says no allergies so ah well we gotta we gotta do that 83 83 what the fuck is a fiendander say that again a fiendander oh uh that means that if you're around fiends you suffer an allergy to them ah and mine is uh moderate which means that it's uncommon but i'm still getting 10 karma back out of it because it's a moderate allergy to fucking fiend dander zarin yes i've also realized the uh sound effects for all of our lovely dice rolls are not being picked up because i love technology uh let me get this real quick it's a good thing technology yes yes they have the internet now i got a 92 and that's going to be uh-oh da-da-da-da-da transmutation magic oh okay that's bad okay well yeah given your does that mean that every you were being nerfed you were a way higher druid than we were led to believe earlier you cannot you cannot benefit from any spell that boosts your stats without suffering an allergic reaction and for the severity for you it's extreme it's extreme it's a robot one no it's it's mild like you like someone casts uh improved statistic on you and it's like uh itchy itchy you get a little rash you get five karma back from that all right thursday you have that ammo in case we ever get allergies we're gonna forget that in two hours yeah yeah exactly shall we thank you for tuning in to this bit i mean yeah let's get back to it warriors my allergy which nobody asked for oh yes every one of you every single person on tyne would have to share that allergy i don't like it i don't like it at all that could be used against me yeah no wait every single person on tyne that would include everyone but rahua rahua's a person i don't know about that bring up that star trek episode let's have it to be oh man the is rahua person trial episode that we never knew we needed but we definitely needed being a revolutionary is about personal truth and seeing our new life forms to radicalize and there it sits waiting pulky how do you feel about this the subject of my agency comes up a lot and i'm kind of worried rua get back into the pokeball oh you're going to daycare you don't have enough badges to train me tanhauser i cast cast into time the time gym leader with that hi everybody i think you're going out towards the mountains is your current cunning plan is that correct yes indeed excellent this is a good time to remember exploration activities what's everyone doing with their exploration activity oh man i gotta pull up the exploration activities i am going to be seeing if i can sense any rot corruption via detect magic okay okay patchar patchar patchar so yours is repeat a spell yeah i uh for orn will be doing scouting which basically means uh you scout ahead behind uh ahead and behind the group to watch danger moving at half speed at the start of the next encounter every creature in your party gains plus one circumstance bonus to their initiative rolls pog pog what's everyone else doing i think i'm gonna do avoid notice which in this instance is i attempt a stealth check to avoid notice while traveling at half speed but i have i believe a perk which assists with that to find it real quick feet excuse me oh unless i traded it out which is possible because a lot of my a lot of my feats at the time were kind of eh is it i'll look that up but for now i'm going to be saying i'm doing uh avoid notice avoid notice it's been a while since we did this yeah you know um well i was gonna do rally but i would probably want to be rallying orin and he's he's behind us um or in front we just don't know and come back i saw nothing i saw a rock today that's really nice orin thank you i'm gonna look over here now oh excuse me mine has nothing to do with uh that it will still have us move at half but it will make it so that i am always taking precautions against special senses while doing avoid notice okay um yeah i'll just go ahead and uh broadly rally whoever's sticking with the group it's nice to just have rallying does yeah uh you spend one minute encouraging your ally that this action typically has the auditory and linguistic traits if you're using a performance skill the gm might adjust the traits for this action to match the traits for the type of your performance attempt a dc 15 skill check might adjust the dc based on circumstances such as attempting to rally an ally who suffered a humiliating defeat uh critical success the ally can spend one resolve point to regain all their stamina points you can continue uh on a success you can continue encouraging your ally for a total of 10 minutes wait uh okay stamina points hmm am i looking at the wrong table i think you're looking at like a different game maybe unless it's a like subsystem i'm looking on archives of netthes for pathfinder second edition so this is okay okay we can't use it we don't use stamina points right right right okay i'm just like i'm on archives of netthes where what you can also find the expression activities in your action section inside of your character sheet on foundry uh where your normal stuff is and the tabs on the top you'll see exploration and then you can click the browse button there and see what's there some of them aren't like the best um there's like one thing in which actually you can just have to give you one easy you can take scout uh they'll make it a lot easier and i can train mine to track um i'm not very good at survival so i'll just avoid notice with uh ball drive will having auto help me avoid notice improve it or uh scouting just allows anything for survival that just gives everyone a plus one of their initial roles when combat starts oh yeah i'm doing i'm switching the track and that i'm mostly just uh logic wise going i'm looking for any obvious signs of of oren's mom uh and any other veteran parties going up okay scouting scout oh venus scouting all right should i roll my stealth or am i waiting for rehuba's choice no no you will only roll that if in like basically if we get into like a combating situation that lets you use stealth for initiative essentially and start hitting things so i have a question actually real quick about that just because it says i do move at half speed but i do have swift sneak which means i can move at full speed while sneaking yeah so in this case it won't matter as much because a bunch of the other people are still taking actions where they're half move anyways so okay you're kind of moving at your at your slowest uh works for me companion um all right so zorn tell me a little bit about the forests of your homeland how to best describe it um pretty much think of basically the woods of alaska i guess like definitely in the summertime whenever you know when the sun actually arrives and such um i don't know if you've ever seen any of those types of paintings where it's like these beautiful white mountains in the distance and it's just this just like it's being choked by trees really there's a lot of forest yeah yeah think of bob ross like forest paintings and stuff um a lot of it kind of like that kind of tundra-like setting but of course in the summer it's like lovely green fields uh beautiful mountains and the um kind of reaching up to the skies and forests and various bits of nature that are just extending across you know up and down this mountain range where uh the marvid people basically you know hunt and travel through and basically use it as their kind of secure homestead uh maybe even further out maybe there might be like a trail of smoke of some ambitious dwarves going just cutting down some trees and basically feel their forges down below you know there could be just other people dealing with stuff and nature itself is either fighting against that or not doing too much to it do whatever the dwarves are going with uh as we kind of go through it it will be it would be pleasant pretty much in the area pretty much where the main housing is uh like birds are singing lovely beams of light are coming through when it's daylight like think of like think of princess mononoke of the forest scenes that's what i would kind of bring your imagination to if you've ever seen that movie like moss beautiful moss covered uh flooring little streams here and there you have to hop over super fresh very cold and it's just it's like you feel at peace when you go through this part of the forest i definitely feel at peace vena give me a fortitude save fuck why that's two for a 21 give me one moment okay we're waiting for your demise that's nothing so terrible um okay i get rotten five again no i was not quite expecting this but this is a great this is great this is this is my favorite in fact this is this is fun um you're in the forest vena you were you were definitely like scouting around helping out with your allies attempting to avoid notice i i you you went with void notice right yep excellent so you're like kind of jumping from tree to tree right no uh uh wait i was or were you scouting you are scouting okay perfect so yeah you are you are definitely in front this is actually better if you're scouting because you're up in front of the group which means you're kind of the in this case the first line if you will now tanhauser hi can you give me an arcana check i absolutely can all right then let's roll my legendary arcana and uh get a two on the dice we're doing so well i'll spend a hero point to re-roll okay all right we're using a hero point we're 14 on the dice for a 40 in total cool um so so sadly it's not a crit success but it's a success enough um as you're able to tell up ahead that you're you're coming into some line of primal energy um it's not rot but you're you're looking for rot and it's definitely kind of you're you're in this moment of like okay everybody stop except for veena who is kind of up ahead um and sadly um your check is enough to basically like prevent everyone else but veena from passing this line now everyone stop wait veena okay i'm gonna ask a question and it's gonna be very relevant uh-huh zoran yes what is oran's mother's favorite woodland critter i'm trying to think of the right word for it i a doe i think would be correct thing make sure i'm saying it a bit smaller please oh sorry like something something a bit smaller let's just say that you know what hey chat what should it be chat help us out help us out should it be chat youtube and twitch chat tell me which one you think it'd be i'll take a whatever you guys mention i'll kind of take it out of there a miniature deer it could like if you want to do like a really tiny deer that's fine that's fine like a little like a little almost baby doe yeah magpie limbing ferrets a duck a duck porcupine pygmy hippo pygmy hippos are so adorable yay a stone mosquito she loves a mosquito i'll pick that i'll pick that platypus they're so platypus so it's not a tugbert okay no no we can't make it a tugbert yeah that's right thank you it's a tugbert all right everybody all right everybody all right everybody all right everybody okay veena that's me describe what happens and what you look like when you are polymorphed into a tugbert oh oh my god i will point out you critically failed that so this is a until you get to remove curse this is a very permanent change oh my god yeah it's like uh um i would say it's a little blue tugbert it's got the everything is like blue and the little beak is like white um definitely still has the hat but it's small now um and little little little feathers peeking out in places okay so because you critically failed by one which is art um you are transformed into the chosen harmless animal body and mind oh my god so i need you to role play as as like an unintelligent tugbert um like literally like like like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll need a this is a little business what i wrote uh what i wrote for tugbert's is that they are technically uh rather intelligent hive minds however they can only speak via like quacking noises that oh great oh great yeah yeah this was really uh um this is a really this is pushing the bounds of my acting and improv and yeah i'm glad i'm glad i'm glad um this is a transcendent experience yeah vena waddles up oh do you have the do you have like the oh fuck do you have the sharkskin hat on is that your hat oh no is it like a blue tugbert with the pirate hat on is that is that what's happened here yes totally yes exactly happened here correct fanartist get get you fucking roll up your sleeves we love each of their podcast listeners uh tugbert is a cute little platypus who kind of stands upright and carries a lovely little briefcase full of his super awesome business stuff that he has he's also wearing i think a fedora i think at the top of his head and he's just a cute little guy and you too can get him as you're familiar for your games uh from our pdfs our companion pdfs yeah um so so um let me let me set the scene tanhazer you like shout out like like alerting veena but veena's crossing like the threshold of a tree and as that happens like it's like veena takes a step and like crosses your vision with the tree interposing it and while veena steps through the tree it's not veena that steps out the other side of the tree instead almost like waddle walking out of the other side of the tree is this blue animal that is a tugbert what just happened i i think orin talk to talk to talk to veena get an information out of her but where's veena she's the tugbert well the tugbert you know it seems like to be a fan of miss veena but it's not no orin there was a ley line of pure natural energy it transformed her oh it's still there by the way and it's still there so don't get too close try to coax her over here he's like right by the ley line points at this one yes stepping over do you want to give me a nature check orin as you're like by this by this magical fucking line of energy sure thing please okay i was like oh that's a 17 for a total of 40 okay this is this is a a like a magical line that has been set up to ward off intruders to the area um you can tell based off of the different energies at play here this was like a ward set by your mother thanks orin's mom orin's mom it's got got the curses on it's like uh orin will come back to the group and be like he's like like these are these are words that my mom made that means she must be near that's right little platypus guy okay okay all right listen uh i'm gonna try and pick up vena the the tugbert like it's one of those like both your arms like your hands go under the armpits of this it's like it's like a slightly oversized like stuffed animal i want i want us to get a plushie tugbert made it's so damn bad i know i think we can actually you know people really want people to actually make that happen so people have to let us know if they want that if we do well enough we'll even do the blue vena yeah true exactly if you buy enough of them as a goal we'll make a vena one we should get tugbert's made for the entire cast yay we should anyway yeah staring with the big wet eyes i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap her up in my uh little black shawl that i always have um and uh just kind of keep her under just just hold hold on there just make sure it'll be it seems that classic sorry sorry sorry you pick up vena you pick up vena like the football yeah yeah yeah no vena vena vena burt how do you react to this vena burt um i don't know are tugberts aggressive no they're fiscally responsible true true i i i i i open up my briefcase and show my stock portfolio this is the work of the enemy i'll throw all of the business stuff out and replace it with communist propaganda then close the briefcase and hand it back uh vena burt how do you react to this abject i'm going to express it do you express it in any way big wet eyes looking like that one crying cat do you say anything thurston really just wants you to say quack really bad i just want you to make the sound again i'm trying the mic don't pick me up no no it wasn't it's gonna be awkward now with the new audio track stuff where you're doing it we don't respond to it because we only are listening to people through discord so it's kind of just super awkward for all of us now uh yeah exactly yeah you gotta be louder with your little sound come on try again remember if remember closer to your mic there you go you're gonna fucking need it as a tugbert oh buddy i look at rahula can you do anything about this uh let me think i'm rolling my eyes back my head and looking at all the spells that i've written down in my prepared spells list and i'm reading the rules and uh veen birds quick question oh no would you be would you consider yourself a minion of me oh no no oh my god okay well what if i plied you with a very tasty bug damn he does make a good point now would you say we're just we're going through the onboarding process here okay we've established your minion if i give you a bug and you're paid a compensatory wage relevant to your skill grade would you say that by result of this contract i permanently control you that's still veena in there is veena saying she wants to hold on because she's got the mind of a tugbert yeah yeah and a tugbert is an intelligent being hold on hold on hold on i'm i'm i'm problem solving problem solving it sounds like you're trying to lawyer your way into something and no i'm not trying to i hate lawyer i would never lawyer my way into something you can't leave hulky crow unsupervised you know immediately people said speaker people said speaker was the problem player earlier i don't know hulky crow hulky crow gotta watch out for hulky crow yeah vena you only have to accept this if you want vena to eat a bug and be like i'm a tugbert now oh i would love to be plied with a bug is that it what do tugbirds eat i assume they eat what they want they're tugbirds they think intelligently they just what do you want what do you want i thought it was a platypus i didn't think i had coherent thoughts you should read the shit i write god damn it i'm sorry so technically technically speaking the metamorphosis you've undergone would not a lot normally allow you to be rendered into an intelligent creature so you're more like an unintelligent tugbert tugbert so just a platypus wearing a hat yeah exactly yes you are you are a poser tugbert yes i don't even have a case you know that's also uh that's also a trait you can take in shadow run tugbert poser tugbert poser is that true and the best part was was that you critically failed like this is gonna derail the fucking rest of this session and i love it yeah yeah exactly but like i was like oh man they've never failed like a like irrelevant fucking super bad save in their life like oh man like like you know the success condition would just be the target gains minor features of the harmless animal and it's sickened for like a little bit ha ha ha um or you turn into it for one minute but keep your mind ha ha no you just went full tugbert you're you're full tugbert thurston thurston if anybody was gonna critical fail that you know it would have to be me you scouted what now deal with your permanent tugbertification google search what do platypuses eat uh plucked a pie human human human human human i was turned into a tugbert by humans i wish to make me tugbert wikipedia page for platypus you must make more tugbert farms i'm sitting here with tented fingers i will cross the table yeah all right all right um is this why you listen to us chat is this is this it is this why you i don't know why anybody watches our show i don't know i don't get it what they do they watch us what they do they surprise me every day yeah your patreon dollars would go towards us replacing vena's avatar with a blue tugbert if we do not find a solution to this does nobody have remove curse my back hurts technically rahua would be able to have a remove curse spell i'm a spontaneous caster so i have to be stuck with mine uh we would have to long rest potentially and rahua would have to find a spell that would remove curses i've been i've been looking for some the one i can remove that i know is petrification and that's it that's it okay you might have to pray to your god for a solution to this problem i might have to do that but i'm currently still waiting for a solution from vena um yeah platypi eat bugs so this is an acceptable contract so tug vena uh platyvina would eat a bug okay and by that extension you're now my minion because i'm paying you a wage are you about to pet cash me i think you're about to get pet cash of sorts you're going in the ball vena i'm going in the fucking pokey ball you're becoming a pokemon for the rest of your fucking life i want to see this pogo be a gameplay you want to know what's going to happen he's going to pet cash you you're going to wind up in like a dark grim hollow and you're going to land on top of something squishy you're going to look underneath you glove talk dead it's the rotting corpse of glove talk so we all cash down here yeah you're yeah keep going keep going i'm going to ride this out i'm going to ride this out to the end i'm going to see where you're going i'm going to let you cook here absolutely okay yeah so you're my minion now that's that's awesome i'm so i'm so happy that you've decided to be onboarded for the next step in your career thurston i cast final sacrifice yeah fuck you my god oh my god what the fuck die motherfucker i flip my alignment i'm on board with this read final sacrifice for hero for the class because we know what it is absolutely well final sacrifice i know what it is it's a spell with the concentrate divine manipulate traits and one other it has a range of 120 feet in the area of a 20-foot emanation and targets one creature with the minion trait that you summoned or permanently control it has a basic reflex save or defense i'm sorry you channel disruptive energies through the bond between you and your minion causing it to violently explode the target is immediately slain and the explosion deals 66 fire damage with a basic reflex save with a basic reflex save the creature does not get to save it just dies okay now i want to hold hold a thought here okay i i can't wait wait i have i have a theory on what you're doing rihua but please keep going i know exactly what you're doing now i know exactly what you're doing now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah keep going yeah yeah yeah keep going rihua okay okay so you cast it um veena tugbird explodes it is as a vat of gooey blue beef stroganoff oh i'm just gonna assume because it's funny that like tannhauser was still holding her while this happened THURSTEN i would like to reflexively ambush uh rahua with as many attacks as i can before we don't know that rahua is responsible i mean look he could be innocent are you are you telling me are you telling me anybody can cast final sacrifice hold on hold on are you telling me that rahua is not stanced up like fucking dr manhattan doing away with rorschach in this particular moment because i think he is i i'm like 99% sure i know what's coming next but all right the cleric got bored so the cleric got bored he's like i'm done with this campaign look look look i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie y'all this is like if hulky's doing what hulky's trying to do here it's next level plays but let's see let's see let's see okay you got ten seconds hulky before buldrick assassinates you don't worry don't worry i'm cooking with this i'm cooking uh-huh it's you got five seconds you just hear like the echoing like it's like your it's like your fucking like head with your ribcage burst open your head like lolling to the side staring at rahua who's fucking betrayed you and just lets out the wing not a lot could give tannhauser ptsd go on here hua fix it you have two seconds maybe and at the moment of death i'm gonna cast breath of life instead sweet sweet i was waiting for this which is the problem is you you bring back the tugbert thurston when you said when you said oh yeah i have an idea where things are going i i didn't have a backup plan i was just gonna see how far i could take the bit and explode vena oh yeah oh yeah so you explode like sardina explodes it's like this like fucking like chestless tugbert staring the life bleeding out of its eyes tan outs are still holding like hands out bits are in it buldrick's getting ready with the bombs and then before anyone can fucking act i assume just like oran's just staring um and then fucking like fucking rahua runs up and channels the anarchic energy and like you see this brief moment where like there's this spectral vision of like vena's true form that looks like it's forming and then it's all sucked back into the tugbert the tugbert is there and vena you've just lived through being or vena burt you've just lived through being exploded remember you're unintelligent but you lived through this how do you react yeah like the spirit of vena like floating above her who are like rahua that was really clever where you saved back to the back to the tugbert and just wah it's gonna reach its little flippered hands toward the nearest flask does does breath of life bring you back to full health no not full health it would do that much that's how much damage that's how much hp you have oh great you're okay you're like a battle like fucking wounded tugbert let me see something real quick hold up cause he did lethal to you in one stroke and now yeah he blew her up whatever is left from breath of life yeah there we go i'm gonna be real i didn't think i would get this far i thought you'd be able to tell me to shut up that you wouldn't be a minion but no you just oh no hulky i lived you it was really you're very tiny i trust you you put my hand you put your little blue stubby hands on mine and you guided it to the lever of the trolley and you said wah it's okay whatever happens i trust you it's okay what you guys implicitly hulky crow what you guys missed in all of that was as Zoran was doing the apply healing i heard the female voice assigned to vena go eh yeah so what you what you just accomplished hulky was the the youtube poop sexer explosion and then reverse literally the fire undertale explosion bitch so so tenazer is going to hold hold vena bert very tightly all right you are not allowed to help anymore i thought i thought i could we could cheat death look i'm a wizard observe no you're not a wizard uh i'm baldrick is going to just start wailing on him with the club from his uh his belt loop do not do that again do not do that again again ah get him so get some citrus pour it in his eye oh I haven't finished torturing Hulky, it's night. Holy shit. The worst part is, is it's still that Hulky is the only character who could possibly untap. And he's just like, no, no, no, I got this. Explode. I'm very happy I also have Breath of Life in case I'm wrong. Oh shit, hold on, I can catch it again. Final sacrifice! No! A final sacrifice. I'm going to cast disintegrate on Rahua in a second. I like that everyone's like, Baldrick needs to take custody. I have done nothing wrong by Vina Burt. I'm not giving Baldrick. It's not yet, it's not yet. Baldrick's not going to take custody of Vina at this juncture because he's still beating some sense into Rahua for momentarily annihilating one of the closest people in the party to him. And I love, I love that like, also Rahua is still like a two year old. So this was, this was clearly in character. This is the anarchic energy we've been missing, y'all. Like, oh my god. I gotta, I gotta look tearfully at, at Vina Burt. He's gonna say, listen, if we can't change you back, I promise I'll raise you right into a true socialist warrior. Easy, easy, please edit in fully of a piece of wood getting hit by a metal pipe. Can I use, can I use time sense to know that the spell is permanent unless despelled? Well, your arcana check is enough for you to understand what has happened. So you, you know that only powerful, uh, powerful magic, like powerful diviner occult magic is going to be done for this. Oh, I need water. I need milk. I was like, oh man, this, this simple hazard will be a three minute encounter. No, fuck no, this is, this is like in a fucking PF1 campaign. Anytime you use plane shift, you're always like, they're going to make their save. It's nothing. They never make their save. They'll fucking go to the plane of water and die. Oh my God. Permanent. Orin, how are you handling this? He's like, he's just wide-eyed going. He's like, cuts to your childhood, like, oh, orin, look at the fields of tug birds. I love them so. I thought they exploded suddenly. They're trying to get, there's all the Ziskoran landmines from an old war. And they're all trying to cross the fields in a tugboat migration. Look upon the, oh, they're so, they're so lovely this season. Let's see if they have to make it. Just some big fat, like, fucking, like, uh, goddamn Golgothan, like, truck driver. Like, yeah, we just gotta dump all these landmines out here. Is it legal dumping? There's so many explosions, it starts making trenches, so now the camera gets down into it. It's just looking like a World War II movie. The tug birds are laying there, and one has his leg missing, and he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then another one comes up, wearing a medic helmet in the back. He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then he's like, wait, wait, wait. He hands the other medic tug bird with a picture of his tug bird family. He looks, and the medic looks at it with a tear in his little beady eye. And then, of course, he kind of closes the eye of now the dead tug bird. He's like, hacksaw Ridge for Tugbert. Coming soon to a theater near you, Tugbert Ridge. Also, also, the Golgothan truck driver definitely has a what-just-happened-firework set that he's fucking- No, no, no, Thurston, Thurston. Thurston, Thurston, Thurston, you need to understand the what-just-happened-thing, instead of the puppy, it's a tug bird. Yes, it's literally that. It's actually that. Also, Hulky, I need you to understand. I know this was a bit, and it was very funny, and we've all had a great laugh at it. Baldrick is too serious for that, and you have now just irreparably harmed Rahua's relationship with him. He is angry at you. I had a co-worker just fucking DM me on Discord to go, oh my god, what the fuck? So we're doing it right, everybody. We're doing it right. This is how it's supposed to be played. You see, that's how we know that we're the best at Pathfinder, because Paizo literally looks at us, play the game, and goes, what the fuck are they doing to my precious game? People are worried about the fucking weaknesses and resistance errata. No, this is the real secret sauce. Polymorphed into a tug bird, convincing your friend to become a minion so you can blow them up. This is the real Pathfinder meta, everybody. Thirsten, I'm just imagining a boardroom meeting area, but all the chairs, like all the people in them for a brief moment transform into the what-just-happened firework. I hope Thirsten gets pulled into a meeting about this. I don't think that the Rotgrind crew is more powerful than Tree Razor, but they're definitely more dangerous. We have now considered a new way to deal with Tree Razor. Just on account, if he happens to just critically fail, what an important role. I don't know, just look at it before we leave. Yay! Sorry, Jers. Yeah, who drew it? That was yours. Yeah, thank you, Jers. Let me see if I can find it. Where did I put it? There it is. All this time I'm scouring my potential spells. I get larying. Thanks, everybody, for this lovely, for your lovely fun today. I hope you guys had a lovely time listening to this rambling of Rotgrind. We'll get back to the story next episode. I love you guys so very much. Please follow everybody and their socials and everything else. Please follow Odie, Hokey Crow, Speaker D, Arendelle, and of course, Uncle GM. Please check the description below so you can check all their live streams, their own projects that they're working on, everything else that they're doing. Please, please, please. Of course, if you want to support the show, it's up at patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration to check out everything that we're doing, including our show schedules on narrative declaration.com. Tugberts are out. Goodbye! Goodbye! Later, goodbye. Every subscription to all Geekro's live stream is another cast of Final Sacrifice.