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Mental Health Struggle to Building a Winning Business with Dr. Brett Dellar · The Heart-Led Business Show

0:01
Speaker: Welcome to the Heart Led Business Show, where compassion meets commerce and leaders lead with love.
0:09
Speaker: Join your host, Tom Jackobs, as he delves into the insightful conversations with visionary business leaders who defy the status quo, putting humanity first and profit second.
0:20
Speaker: From heartfelt strategies to inspiring stories, this podcast is your compass in the world of conscious capitalism.
0:29
Speaker: So buckle up and let's go.
0:31
Speaker: Let your heart guide your business journey.
0:36
Tom: Well, step right in folks, buckle up, brace yourself and beam on.
0:39
Tom: We're about to bounce big ideas with Brett Deller.
0:43
Tom: A bright hearted bloke who's beaten the blues and helped others do the same.
0:47
Tom: This chirpy chiropractor and courageous cop turned coach will chime in about his charming, chock full, and most cheerfully heart-led business.
0:58
Tom: So welcome to the heart-led business show where it's less of a punchline and more of a heartfelt storyline.
1:05
Tom: Brett, welcome to the show.
1:07
Brett Dellar: Thanks, Tom.
1:07
Brett Dellar: That's an amazing introduction.
1:09
Brett Dellar: The best one I've ever had.
1:10
Brett Dellar: So thank you very much for that.
1:11
Tom: You're very welcome.
1:12
Tom: Happy, happy to have you on the show.
1:14
Tom: And, you know, I always ask the first question is what's your definition of a heart-led business?
1:20
Brett Dellar: For me, a heart-led business is when your goal is to provide that positive support and impact into an individual's life that will have a ripple effect, not only for their life moving forward but for those family, friends, community, colleagues as well around them.
1:41
Brett Dellar: And based on what I do, it's, I want to see it as a stepping stone as a pole vault into then moving forward.
1:50
Brett Dellar: So they can continue on that positivity for themselves and their lives, but also to almost pay it forward to others as well when they get to that space where they're in a really good space as well.
2:03
Brett Dellar: So it's a, it's a a momentum effect, I suppose.
2:07
Tom: Yeah, I like that.
2:08
Tom: And it's kind of a beautiful way of seeing the impact of your positive business, your heart-led business, not just in the person that you're seeing, but also what happens down road, kind of that, that butterfly effect, not so sweet.
2:24
Brett Dellar: And I've said it a lot, you know, working with the people we have in the past, that the change in not just the individual, but the relationship with their, their wife or husband, and then how that's impacted the children.
2:37
Brett Dellar: It's that in itself is just, beautiful to watch.
2:39
Brett Dellar: And, and being a part, just being a small part of that journey, seeing how they can change and how they can adapt and grow and then pass it on to their children.
2:48
Brett Dellar: I think that's really important, you know, to break the habits of, of past generations and starting anew.
2:54
Brett Dellar: That's, that's where the real power is.
2:56
Brett Dellar: That's, that's the beauty of it.
2:58
Tom: Yeah, well it's generational at that, at that point, which is really awesome.
3:01
Tom: You know, we, I was listening to another podcast about a kind of that ripple effect, if you will, and just how you never know, and unless you look behind, like what that ripple effect was of those decisions that we all which is pretty cool.
3:16
Brett Dellar: I actually got on to mom and dad.
3:19
Brett Dellar: I sat them down individually the other day and asked them, you know, you see those reels come up, they say, you should ask your mom or dad seven questions before they go.
3:28
Brett Dellar: And my mom and dad are both in their late seventies, early eighties now.
3:30
Brett Dellar: And I sat him down in front of the camera, which they weren't comfortable with at all.
3:34
Brett Dellar: And I asked him a series of questions.
3:36
Brett Dellar: And one of the things was, what did you learn from your parents?
3:41
Brett Dellar: And both of them in a roundabout way said, I learnt what not to do.
3:46
Brett Dellar: So they actually broke the cycle for me to make it to make my journey much more smoother.
3:51
Brett Dellar: So I'm very very grateful for them doing, and I knew that was the case, but for them to actually see that as well, that was quite powerful as well.
3:58
Tom: Wow.
3:59
Tom: That's great.
3:59
Tom: I did that with my parents as well.
4:01
Tom: Doing an interview.
4:02
Tom: It's, it's so powerful.
4:03
Tom: It's so good to look back upon as well.
4:06
Tom: So that's, that's, that's a really good, good, good thing you did.
4:09
Tom: So tell us a little bit about your heart-led business and what inspired you to start it?
4:14
Brett Dellar: Well, I along with my wife we run basically personal growth, personal development, mentoring, life coaching, whatever you want to call it.
4:22
Brett Dellar: And I, I'm still a chiropractor.
4:24
Brett Dellar: I've been doing chiropractic work, studying and working as a chiropractor for 21 years now.
4:29
Brett Dellar: But about six years ago, I got to the end of my tether when it come came to my mental health.
4:36
Brett Dellar: I struggle with depression for basically 30 years.
4:40
Brett Dellar: And, and.
4:41
Brett Dellar: It just, it controlled me, you know, I never had the, I always faked energy, but I never had energy, if that makes sense.
4:49
Brett Dellar: I pretended I was okay when I wasn't, and there was, I'd go to work and I'd give all my energy out to my patients all day and, and hi, how are you?
4:57
Brett Dellar: Great to see you, you know, and it was, none of it was, it was real, but it was, it was, orchestrated it a little bit.
5:03
Brett Dellar: I'd come home, I'd be totally exhausted, and little things would trigger me.
5:08
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden I'd be in this deep, dark depression again.
5:10
Brett Dellar: And this cycle, as from my 20s through to my, to last 50, the cycles would get deeper and more frequent.
5:17
Brett Dellar: And I'd have to fight harder to get out of it.
5:18
Brett Dellar: Cause I was of the opinion, if I just fight harder, a little bit longer, I'll be better.
5:22
Brett Dellar: And the reason for my depression was I, was a stubborn male who was, who didn't want to deal with the issues or trauma from his past or the emotions attached to it.
5:35
Brett Dellar: I was like, I'm tough.
5:36
Brett Dellar: I'll deal with it.
5:36
Brett Dellar: I'm fine.
5:38
Brett Dellar: And it just wore me down and the more I got worn down, the harder it was for me to deal with my emotional challenges.
5:44
Brett Dellar: And, and I was very lucky.
5:46
Brett Dellar: I've got a very, very warm and loving family, a great support system.
5:51
Brett Dellar: I got married when I was 40.
5:52
Brett Dellar: So, an amazing wife and we still, you know, got this amazing relationship, but it all stemmed back from a childhood trauma.
5:59
Brett Dellar: When I was six and seven years old, I had been sexually abused by a neighbor on numerous occasions.
6:06
Brett Dellar: And I, I sort of explained to people that when you're that age, you don't have the emotional capacity to deal with it.
6:12
Brett Dellar: And so for me, what, this is my perspective, whatever your heart, soul, mind, whatever it does, it takes that trauma and the anguish attached to it and the emotions attached to it, and it just pushes it to one side.
6:24
Brett Dellar: And then, in my family life, I had this amazing support system with my parents and family, and I got through my childhood really quite smoothly.
6:32
Brett Dellar: And then in my late teens, early 20s, all of a sudden, all those emotions attached to my trauma and all those memories started to really filter through.
6:40
Brett Dellar: And of course, by that stage, you've got this community, social persona that you're a bloke and you shouldn't show weaknesses and you shouldn't show your emotions.
6:49
Brett Dellar: So I basically buried it.
6:51
Brett Dellar: And then at the age of 21, I became a police officer and that just reinforced it even more that I had to be hard and tough and strong and all the bullshit that goes along with that, that male perspective.
7:02
Brett Dellar: Like a lot of people in, in this world, you don't always, I know some people who've never had a trauma, had a loss, had any suffering at all and have cruised through life pretty, pretty well, but that's not the, general population.
7:15
Brett Dellar: Most people have challenges.
7:19
Brett Dellar: And so, in my late teens, late twenties, I really started to struggle with this emotional challenges from my past.
7:25
Brett Dellar: And then just to throw a bit of petrol on the fire, or gasoline on the fire, whatever term you want to use, I was betrayed by a girl I loved deeply, felt betrayed and I was rejected.
7:38
Brett Dellar: And then six months after that, being in the police force, I was involved in a firearm siege and I was inside a place for five hours looking for an armed offender who'd shot and killed someone and every time I opened the door, it was like, am I next?
7:52
Tom: Oh, wow.
7:52
Brett Dellar: And so juggling.
7:54
Brett Dellar: Juggling the, the emotions from my past, plus the rejection and betrayal.
7:58
Brett Dellar: And then this whole siege situation.
8:02
Brett Dellar: It just, it just was a perfect storm.
8:05
Brett Dellar: And I just built up this big wall and just struggled for the next 25 years after that.
8:12
Brett Dellar: And so when I actually got to the other end of it and I did I went and did a workshop I was doing, I'm doing in my life coaching course at the time.
8:19
Brett Dellar: And a mate of mine said to me, you know, you've got this challenge, this issue, and you're not talking about it, aren't you?
8:25
Brett Dellar: And I went, yeah.
8:26
Brett Dellar: And he said, and it's affecting your life in a really negative way, isn't it?
8:29
Brett Dellar: I went yeah.
8:33
Brett Dellar: It's impacting not just you, but your health, your mental health and your wife and your relationship, isn't it?
8:37
Brett Dellar: I went, yeah.
8:41
Brett Dellar: He said, well, don't you think you should do something about it?
8:44
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden it was like, yeah, yeah, I should.
8:49
Brett Dellar: And then he had this beautiful pregnant pause and just went, it's time.
8:56
Brett Dellar: And I thought he reached through the computer and punched me in the chest.
8:59
Brett Dellar: My body started vibrating and I just, that's, you know, every sudden your body starts vibrating.
9:03
Brett Dellar: Only way I can describe it.
9:05
Brett Dellar: And a week later I was at a workshop over in the other side of the country.
9:07
Brett Dellar: You know, I live in Western Australia and it's a, it's a five hour flight to Queensland.
9:12
Brett Dellar: And I was at this workshop with 50 men.
9:13
Brett Dellar: And at this workshopheart-led I got to deal with my trauma and the emotions attached to it and reclaim my power back, take my power back from my perpetrator.
9:23
Brett Dellar: And it was just the most amazing release and energizing and emotional freedom.
9:33
Brett Dellar: And during that weekend, there was moments where I had this flash of, oh my God, I actually love who I am as a person because I didn't like who I was for 30 years, probably longer.
9:44
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden I had this, this, I was lying there doing some breathing exercises.
9:49
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden I had this moment and I could, even now I'm getting choked up, this moment where I could just, Oh my God.
9:59
Brett Dellar: And I was like, I started bawling.
10:01
Brett Dellar: I just started crying uncontrollably.
10:03
Brett Dellar: And one of the facilitators come up and goes, Is everything all right?
10:06
Brett Dellar: I went, Oh, just so, so, so happy.
10:10
Brett Dellar: And he goes, Ah, you're in the good space.
10:16
Brett Dellar: I'll let you go.
10:17
Brett Dellar: And for 10 minutes, I just cried uncontrollably out of pure happiness and joy.
10:21
Brett Dellar: So from then on, I had this massive energy to go out and do more workshops and listen to, listen to books and do online courses.
10:30
Brett Dellar: And I just absorbed everything about mental wellbeing and wellness and learned all the tools and everything I could.
10:36
Brett Dellar: And I started mentoring people.
10:38
Brett Dellar: And it was at that point when I started doing some life coaching, I don't want anyone else to suffer like I suffered.
10:43
Brett Dellar: And that was it.
10:44
Brett Dellar: That was, that was the heartfelt, you know, moment where I want to, to help other people.
10:51
Brett Dellar: I didn't want anyone else to suffer like I'd suffered for 50 years or 30 years, I should say.
10:55
Brett Dellar: From the age of six to the age of 50, 44 years of struggling with, with that, that trauma and let people know that there's other ways around it and that you can actually overcome this and live this amazing life and realize that what happened to me is not who I was.
11:09
Brett Dellar: That was just what happened to me, not who I am.
11:12
Brett Dellar: And once I made that distinction everything freed up and it was just like, phew, here we go.
11:17
Brett Dellar: Here's an amazing journey I can't wait to ride.
11:20
Tom: Wow.
11:20
Tom: Wow.
11:21
Brett Dellar: Hope that wasn't too much.
11:21
Tom: No, no.
11:22
Tom: That's, what a great story and inspiration as well for other men that might be kind of in the same, same situation.
11:31
Tom: What is it about men and not opening up our feelings?
11:34
Tom: Do you, is there a science behind that or what's going on with that?
11:37
Brett Dellar: I don't have the science behind it, but, you know, I think it's a whole range of things.
11:42
Brett Dellar: I think it's generational.
11:44
Brett Dellar: I think you know, society has a lot to do with it in regards to it's society's opinion and belief systems around, around men.
11:53
Brett Dellar: You know, and, and by the time I got to, like I had, I've got a very open minded and thoughtful, thoughtful parents and father.
12:01
Brett Dellar: And I was never judged in any way, shape or form.
12:04
Brett Dellar: But definitely when you're, I remember being at high school, you know, you had to actively behave a certain way to fit in, you know, you had to, to put on your different type of masks, those social emotional masks you wear to fit in.
12:19
Brett Dellar: You know, the, for me, the class clown, the sporty dude, you know, they were my two ones when I was younger.
12:25
Brett Dellar: And then as I got older and the depression started to set in more and more, I was, I'm okay mask.
12:31
Brett Dellar: You know, it was something absolutely great day or awful day.
12:36
Brett Dellar: My standard answer was I'm okay.
12:38
Brett Dellar: And.
12:40
Brett Dellar: And for us as, for men in particular, I think we forget, we don't realize we're wearing the mask and we don't know how to take it off.
12:49
Brett Dellar: You know, we need to learn how to take it off, deal with our stuff and then put it on when we need to put it on.
12:54
Brett Dellar: Okay.
12:55
Brett Dellar: Put on the professional mask, the, the joker mask and understand that it's okay, but take it off when you don't need to use it.
13:02
Brett Dellar: Don't use it there all the time.
13:04
Tom: Well, that can be tiring as well.
13:06
Tom: Just having that layers of masks on over time.
13:10
Brett Dellar: Exhausting.
13:11
Brett Dellar: I did hear a story and I can't remember who, who told, who, who I heard it from.
13:15
Brett Dellar: But there was the whole shift from into the industrial revolution.
13:20
Brett Dellar: That was when everything shifted for the generations.
13:23
Brett Dellar: Have you heard this story at all?
13:25
Tom: No, not at all.
13:26
Brett Dellar: So before the industrial revolution, Johnny would be home.
13:29
Brett Dellar: And go out with dad in the day and learn from dad.
13:32
Brett Dellar: Dad come in and have lunch with the family and then come in at night and and look after, you know the wife and the family and whatnot and he'd learn from mom and dad.
13:43
Brett Dellar: And it was always hard to get food on the table.
13:45
Brett Dellar: It was always hard to make ends meet.
13:47
Brett Dellar: And then the Industrial Revolution happened and so there was a payoff.
13:51
Brett Dellar: You come and work for us six days a week, 14 hour days, and we'll give you a regular income which will put a roof over your head.
13:59
Brett Dellar: And food on the table and clothes on the back for your family.
14:02
Brett Dellar: So dad disappears.
14:04
Brett Dellar: So little Johnny is not learning from dad anymore.
14:06
Brett Dellar: He's not learning from you know, how he had that interacts with mom and how they had this relationship.
14:13
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden mom is, is there all the time, you know, Dad's not there because he leaves before he gets up and is in bed before dad gets home.
14:22
Brett Dellar: And then you throw into that World War I and then World War II about men going off and, you know, and all of a sudden there's this disconnect about how men should act because when you go to war, you have to become a certain way to survive.
14:34
Brett Dellar: And so from the industrial revolution through to the different wars and then that you've got the whole 70s and then the, computer generation and that disconnect, everything's changed.
14:46
Brett Dellar: And so from our generation and how we were raised prior to the industrial revolution to now, I think that has something to do with men in our masks.
14:53
Brett Dellar: And, you know, it's more complicated than that, but that was just, and I sort of, that made sense to me a little bit as well.
14:58
Tom: No, that, that's interesting.
14:59
Tom: That, I mean, and it, and it tracks as well.
15:01
Tom: Like the more that the father's away, the less like the interaction, the learning and all that, and it's typically the father's role to, to be the breadwinner when I was growing up.
15:12
Tom: And that's of the tradition.
15:14
Tom: Now it's, I think things are changing, but still that mental health is, is kind of there.
15:19
Tom: Wasn't June means mental health month?
15:21
Brett Dellar: It was.
15:22
Tom: Yeah, I started to see a lot more things and, and I'm, I'm glad that, you know, there's people like you that are there helping people with, these issues that we have.
15:32
Tom: But how did you make a business out of that?
15:34
Tom: So you have this passion, you fixed yourself or understood yourself.
15:39
Tom: And now how do you make a business out of that?
15:40
Brett Dellar: It's a long process.
15:42
Brett Dellar: You know, I, I say these people who are, you know, they, they get on the, on the internet and they say, Oh, you know, in the last, in 12 months, I've gone from zero to 2.4 million dollars a year.
15:51
Brett Dellar: And it's like, well, good on you, mate.
15:52
Brett Dellar: That's awesome.
15:53
Brett Dellar: But that's not how it works for me.
15:56
Brett Dellar: I'm still on my journey definitely.
15:58
Brett Dellar: For me initially, I was doing free stuff.
16:00
Brett Dellar: I was doing free mentoring.
16:02
Brett Dellar: Just because I wanted to help people.
16:04
Brett Dellar: And then Kim sort of suggested, my wife, Kim sort of suggested, you know, this is your time.
16:09
Brett Dellar: You should get paid for it.
16:11
Brett Dellar: And I was like, yeah, okay.
16:13
Brett Dellar: And then I felt awkward about that.
16:15
Brett Dellar: And she goes, well, you go to work every day and you help people physically because of your expertise.
16:20
Brett Dellar: Do you think you should get paid because of your mental intellect as well?
16:24
Brett Dellar: And emotional intellect?
16:25
Brett Dellar: I went, Oh yeah, I suppose I should do.
16:28
Brett Dellar: So I had to have a mental shift in myself for that to happen.
16:32
Brett Dellar: It was a very small one to start with.
16:34
Brett Dellar: So I did some one on one mentoring and, and I didn't have any real plan on where to go.
16:39
Brett Dellar: I just, I didn't know.
16:40
Brett Dellar: And then, and then bit by bit men were asking to do a workshop here in this state, cause you had to basically travel over, over east to getheart-led heart-ledyou know, travel four or five hours to go to a men's workshop.
16:51
Brett Dellar: And my whole thing was.
16:53
Brett Dellar: That's not me.
16:53
Brett Dellar: I can't do that.
16:55
Brett Dellar: No, I'm not a facilitator in that space and of course after about nine months of being badgered by a whole bunch of blokes.
17:01
Brett Dellar: I went,"Well, maybe I can." So again, there was a little mind shift and I ended up running my first workshop.
17:07
Brett Dellar: I had some amazing men around me, including Bruce, who had that conversation with me, you know, those 18 months, two years earlier.
17:14
Brett Dellar: So he flew across from Queensland and actually came and supported me on that particular journey.
17:19
Brett Dellar: Four years later we've run, you know, a dozen men's workshops, had about three a year.
17:24
Brett Dellar: My wife and I have started doing women's workshops the last two years as well.
17:28
Brett Dellar: And so the workshops have been the next big thing.
17:31
Brett Dellar: And then on top of that, I started my public speaking, my keynote speaking, which I absolutely love doing because I love being in front of the crowd and just inspiring them and, and just giving them that energy that, you know, that, and, and give them things.
17:45
Brett Dellar: For me, it's all about perspective.
17:47
Brett Dellar: You know, you have to see things from a different perspective.
17:49
Brett Dellar: And when you get to see that, cause I talk about the struggle bubble.
17:53
Brett Dellar: If you're in this struggle bubble and you're struggling to get through each day, it's all you're trying to do is get through the next day.
17:58
Brett Dellar: You can't see resolutions or reasons behind it.
18:01
Brett Dellar: So if you can give them different perspectives about why they may feel, think, behave or act the way they do, then they go,"Oh!", and all of a sudden they can put a piece of the puzzle together.
18:11
Brett Dellar: And that might inspire them to take another piece of the puzzle and put that back together.
18:15
Brett Dellar: And all of a sudden understand why I like that and then start moving forward in some way.
18:19
Brett Dellar: So I did a little bit of public speaking and then did the workshops, then I played around with a couple of little webinars and, and it was just basically suck it and see, see what worked, what didn't.
18:30
Brett Dellar: And then, and then we, we basically just launchedheart-led in the last six months or so, a, a high ticket item, which is a six month online program.
18:39
Brett Dellar: It's like a workshop, but online with videos, etc.
18:42
Brett Dellar: And then obviously some one on one with me and my wife, Kim, who does hypnosis and NLP, etc.
18:49
Brett Dellar: So it's sort of, it's evolved into this bigger and bigger with different along the way.
18:54
Brett Dellar: And Kim and I do two on two relationship support as well.
18:59
Brett Dellar: So we'll have a husband and wife on one end and then Kim and I on the other.
19:03
Brett Dellar: And we sort of, because we know, we know each other so well and we, you know, Kim and I have, we've had disagreements.
19:08
Brett Dellar: We've never had a big fight.
19:09
Brett Dellar: You know, we just, we're very calm in the way we go about things.
19:13
Brett Dellar: And it doesn't mean we don't get annoyed with each other, but you know, if, if, and I'm just going off tangent here a little bit, but if I feel disconnected to Kim or vice versa.
19:21
Brett Dellar: We have this rule, I feel disconnected.
19:23
Brett Dellar: Drop what we're doing, let's go and connect.
19:26
Brett Dellar: Go off, go to the movies, go to dinner, go for a walk, hold hands, have a chat, and just feel that connection again.
19:32
Brett Dellar: So we just do this two on two, and we just wing it with our relationship support.
19:37
Brett Dellar: We call it relationship support, not counselling because it's not counselling.
19:40
Brett Dellar: And just provide a few tools and skills and let people know what we do and then give them the tools to go off and try things in their space as well.
19:47
Brett Dellar: So it's sort of grown.
19:49
Brett Dellar: We're still owning up a lot of bugs and it's starting to become more financial, but it's not, it's not our main bread winner at the moment.
19:55
Brett Dellar: Chiropractic still is still the supportive thing, but it's growing, which is really great.
20:00
Tom: Yeah.
20:01
Tom: Well, I mean, if you take the analogy or look at both the chiropractic business and the, this new business of yours.
20:08
Tom: You've been in chiropractic for a lot longer than, than you have been doing this.
20:12
Tom: So it just makes sense that the chiropractor would be further along.
20:15
Tom: So what, what, what things have you learned?
20:18
Tom: And it sounds like you, you've iterated the offering that you've had over time.
20:24
Tom: What did that look like?
20:25
Tom: Like when you went into it?
20:27
Tom: You first do free free mentoring and then all these guys are like,"Hey, you should do a workshop.
20:32
Tom: You do work, do a workshop.", so you iterate into doing a workshop.
20:35
Tom: So how did that process go for you in terms of on the business side?
20:40
Brett Dellar: The first thing I had to do was get a product together, had to get the workshop together.
20:44
Brett Dellar: And that meant, you know, doing a lot of research.
20:47
Brett Dellar: It took me probably nine or 10 months to really get the, the, the way I wanted the workshop to flow.
20:54
Brett Dellar: And I've done it, I had done about six workshops.
20:56
Brett Dellar: I actually did a workshop to learn how to do workshops as well, as it turns out.
20:59
Tom: That's great.
21:00
Brett Dellar: And I didn't agree with everything they did, but I took parts of every everything and sort of use different skills and did a bit of research into different processes.
21:07
Brett Dellar: Then I just, I found what fitted for me and what worked for me and what was how, what was heartfelt for me, basically, you know, what resonated with me and what I thought would be most powerful for for men in this space.
21:18
Brett Dellar: And so the first thing was basically to get the program going and then to hit up all those guys who asked for the workshop and say, look, this is going to, this is going to cost you some money because we have to pay for a venue and for food and we have to pay for all the items we need to run the workshop.
21:37
Brett Dellar: Cause we need a speaker and we need tools and props and that sort of stuff to make it work.
21:43
Brett Dellar: So you're going to have to, you know, and then obviously the time and skill and workbooks and all that sort of stuff, so it has to, you know.
21:50
Brett Dellar: And again, we were, we made it very, reasonable initially because we wanted to make sure we got some men there and to make sure it was like a beta test really,
21:59
Tom: Yeah.
22:00
Brett Dellar: And out of the, the first workshop, we've still got three blokes who, three men who still come back to every workshop and are now leaders in that workshop.
22:10
Tom: Oh, wow.
22:11
Brett Dellar: Yeah, so the men who pass, who do the workshop and they're in a good space, they actually come back and support and they actually work on the crew.
22:17
Brett Dellar: And so, those three men, and there's a couple more as well, who were a little bit later, they can run the workshop without me now.
22:24
Brett Dellar: So one of the great things I've learned along the way is you have to empower them to grow and be more.
22:30
Brett Dellar: So in the first three or four workshops, three, three workshops, I did everything.
22:34
Brett Dellar: And I'd get home on Sunday night.
22:35
Brett Dellar: I was exhausted after three and a half days of doing that.
22:38
Brett Dellar: And one of the, one of the senior guys who's my 2IC, a guy called Mo, he goes,"Mate, you don't have to do everything, you know.", I went," no, I don't.", and I remember saying to my wife, I'm going to pass these other things off to the guys.
22:52
Brett Dellar: She goes,"But it's your workshop.", I was like, No, it's our workshop." It's, it's not my workshop.
22:57
Brett Dellar: It's our workshop.
22:58
Brett Dellar: And I said that every single workshop, it's not mine, it's ours.
23:01
Brett Dellar: And, and seeing those men lead, not just in that space, but now in society is just amazing.
23:08
Brett Dellar: And I'm going to mention one of the guys names now, his name's Stu and Stu's become a really good mate.
23:12
Brett Dellar: He was a patient of mine initially.
23:14
Brett Dellar: And he had the joker about, he had that joker mask on.
23:19
Brett Dellar: Would never speak in front of everyone, quite a shy guy, but knew how to deflect with humor.
23:25
Brett Dellar: Very funny guy, lovely bloke.
23:28
Brett Dellar: And he, I remember him saying, I was driving to the workshop cause I was doing a favor for you.
23:34
Brett Dellar: And I got down there and almost turned around because it's like, I didn't want to be there.
23:39
Brett Dellar: He could now run the workshop without me.
23:41
Brett Dellar: And he is, so he's a, he's a Man U supporter and he actually runs, he's the president of the West Australian Man U Supporters Club.
23:50
Brett Dellar: He, when they were over last time, he got up and spoke in front of 600 people at the casino at the function.
23:56
Brett Dellar: He's gone from someone who would not be saying, he did interviews with international sports, casting news sort of thing.
24:04
Brett Dellar: And, and so all of a sudden he's gone from this bloke who wouldn't speak up and wouldn't show up to this bloke who is now leading in other areas.
24:11
Brett Dellar: And that's the power of that, that ripple effect that we talk about.
24:15
Tom: Yeah, that's great.
24:17
Tom: And so what, what type of kind of pleasant surprises have come with having this heart-led business and that over the last however many years?
24:28
Brett Dellar: Yeah.
24:28
Brett Dellar: Four years or so.
24:29
Brett Dellar: Oh, I think it's, oh yeah, that's, that's a good question.
24:33
Brett Dellar: I think it's those moments.
24:35
Brett Dellar: It's those moments like Stu and you know, there's been quite a few where men, both the wife and the husband have done the two different workshops.
24:44
Brett Dellar: We had one gentleman who lost his son to suicide.
24:47
Brett Dellar: His wife said to us a little bit later on, she goes,"Thank you very much, I've got my husband back."
24:53
Tom: Hmm.
24:54
Brett Dellar: It's those moments where you can see the relationships shifted, the men have shifted, the family shifted, and it's those special things.
25:03
Brett Dellar: And then it's the community that you create as well.
25:06
Brett Dellar: You know, we, we have these little online groups where they, they stay connected and they will throw in a comment and say, look, I'm struggling today, guys, or I've had a win today, guys, orheart-led I've got need some advice today.
25:17
Brett Dellar: So, creating those little communities as well and seeing that support grow within these are the ones which are again a ripple effect.
25:24
Brett Dellar: Those are the moments which you really, you really cherish.
25:28
Brett Dellar: But I think the biggest one is seeing the men's faces and their smiles from seeing them on day one of a workshop and seeing them on day three.
25:36
Brett Dellar: That's the one that really gets you back to do those workshops because it's just, just this massive heartfelt change, you know, they rock up on day one going,"Oh, hi, how are you?", on day three, it was like,"Gimme a hug!", sort of thing.
25:48
Brett Dellar: So hug me.
25:50
Brett Dellar: It's like,"You wanna hug a man?","Yeah.
25:52
Brett Dellar: Hug me!", sort of thing.
25:53
Brett Dellar: So, which we incorporate through the workshop, but you know, they, it's a different attitude, different mindset from day one to day three.
25:59
Tom: Yeah, no, that's, yeah.
26:00
Tom: That, that must be amazing just to see that transformation in such a short period of time, but then also see the over over time as well.
26:08
Tom: On the flip side of that, if, if this was purely a profit led business, what do you think would be different, if all you were looking for is just the bottom line?
26:17
Brett Dellar: Oh, that's a good question.
26:19
Brett Dellar: That's a great question.
26:20
Brett Dellar: I don't know.
26:20
Brett Dellar: That's a really good question.
26:22
Brett Dellar: If it was just profit led.
26:24
Tom: Would there even be a business?
26:25
Brett Dellar: I don't know if you could, I don't know if you could do it if it was profit led.
26:28
Brett Dellar: Honestly, don't know if you could, because if you don't have the connection with the men and the women, if you don't have the connection, when they don't trust you and they don't believe in what you're doing, then it's not going to work.
26:39
Brett Dellar: It wouldn't work.
26:41
Brett Dellar: I think that's the problem.
26:41
Brett Dellar: I wouldn't work.
26:43
Brett Dellar: Because the men who, and I'm talking from the man's perspective because I've done more men's workshops than women's workshops and I'm more of a support system for Kim, but the men, I usually know who I am by the time we get to the workshop.
26:55
Brett Dellar: They, they see me on my, you know, Facebook pages and LinkedIn and that sort of stuff.
27:00
Brett Dellar: And they see the videos I produce.
27:01
Brett Dellar: They say that we do these workshops and they, they sort of know me, but, and before they, they'll reach out and have a, I'll have a chat to them.
27:07
Brett Dellar: I'll have a free chat to them initially and go, what's, what's your struggles?
27:11
Brett Dellar: So I, I don't think if it was just profit led, I don't think it'd work.
27:14
Brett Dellar: I just don't think it could.
27:15
Tom: Yeah, it sounds like it.
27:17
Tom: Because it's so much of you is in that and now transitioning or even just transforming others to be able to do what you're doing as well.
27:28
Tom: And yeah, like you said, I don't think it would be a profit led business at all.
27:34
Brett Dellar: I don't think it could.
27:35
Brett Dellar: One of the big things I have learned on the journey is, you know, I'll have family members ring up, you know, wives or parents saying, you know, my son or my husband or my brother or whoever is struggling.
27:47
Brett Dellar: And I want him to come to the workshop, or I want him to do some work with you, or I want him to, to do a program
27:52
Tom: Yeah.
27:52
Brett Dellar: And we'll have them come along and they're there, but they're not there.
27:57
Brett Dellar: And when that happens, it just doesn't work.
28:00
Brett Dellar: And we learned this lesson really hard a couple of years ago where we had a workshop with probably, we only keep it to about eight or nine men.
28:07
Brett Dellar: We keep it really intimate in regards to the participants and about, about 10 mentors team members.
28:15
Brett Dellar: And I think we had out of, I think we had seven men in this particular workshop and five were sort of encouraged to go.
28:24
Brett Dellar: And it was, it was a disaster workshop, worst workshop we ever had.
28:27
Brett Dellar: It was just, it was just hard work from go to woe.
28:31
Brett Dellar: These men kicked up their back every opportunity they had going, I'm not doing that.
28:35
Brett Dellar: I don't, I'm not interested in that.
28:37
Brett Dellar: And it just made it difficult for everybody else.
28:38
Brett Dellar: And so at that moment, we had a mind shift change again.
28:42
Brett Dellar: And we just went, you know what, unless you want to be here, it's not going to work for you.
28:46
Brett Dellar: And as soon as we changed that and the men, you know, the last two workshops.
28:49
Brett Dellar: At the last workshop, one of the clients said to one of the mentors said, It's like a cool calmness to it.
28:57
Brett Dellar: What's going on?
28:57
Brett Dellar: This is a bit creepy.
28:58
Brett Dellar: This is not normal.", it just had this calmness to it, even though it was intense.
29:02
Brett Dellar: It had an intense calmness, if that makes sense.
29:05
Brett Dellar: Because the processes are still quite intense at different times, but the men would just come about it cause it's like, this is what I have to do.
29:12
Brett Dellar: This is what I have to do to move forward.
29:13
Brett Dellar: This is what I have to do to be better.
29:14
Brett Dellar: So they knew they had to do it and they would just come about it.
29:17
Brett Dellar: Was it intense still?
29:18
Brett Dellar: Yes.
29:18
Brett Dellar: But they were just like, let's do this.
29:21
Brett Dellar: And so that was a big shift.
29:22
Brett Dellar: And as soon as we realized that that had to happen, then the business shifted again.
29:27
Tom: Yeah, totally.
29:29
Tom: Yeah.
29:29
Tom: When I had my fitness business, whenever somebody would say,"Oh, I want to buy personal training for my wife or my husband or whatever." Like,"Nope.
29:39
Tom: They need to come in for a consultation first.
29:41
Tom: Like I'm not, that never ends well." It sounds like you had that same experience.
29:47
Brett Dellar: A hundred percent, a hundred percent.
29:49
Tom: Crazy.
29:50
Tom: Well, cool.
29:50
Tom: Well, Brett, I want to thank you for being on the show today, but how, how can some of our listeners find out more about what you're doing and, and connect with you, what's the best way?
29:58
Brett Dellar: That'd be awesome.
29:59
Brett Dellar: Probably Facebook is the probably easiest way, which is a Dr.
30:03
Brett Dellar: Brett Dellar.
30:04
Brett Dellar: I'm sure you've got some links there to put up if you need to.
30:07
Brett Dellar: So Dr.
30:08
Brett Dellar: Brett Dellar on Facebook, and then I've got the website, which is the Momentum Revolution is and within that, we've also got Momentum in that as well, which is the female version of, of the momentum stuff.
30:21
Brett Dellar: And it's all on there.
30:22
Brett Dellar: So it's, they're the two main spaces.
30:24
Brett Dellar: You can get me, you can, I've got emails, got phone numbers on there.
30:26
Brett Dellar: So feel free to reach out.
30:28
Brett Dellar: Always happy to have a chat support in any way I can, because we all need that support and that little bit of a leg up sometimes.
30:34
Brett Dellar: You know, one of my favorites, I've got two favorite sayings at the moment.
30:38
Brett Dellar: The first one is,"Nothing changes unless you change what you do." And the other one is, The healing that you're looking for is in the space with most resistance."
30:48
Tom: Oh yeah,
30:49
Brett Dellar: So those two, you know, and for me, it's like, I resisted going into a particular area in regards to my mental wellbeing for a long time.
30:58
Brett Dellar: And if I just pushed into that, I would have been a lot further advanced than what I am now.
31:02
Tom: That's great advice.
31:03
Tom: And for business people, as well as those that are have some mental health issues that they want to address as well.
31:10
Tom: That's great.
31:10
Brett Dellar: Yeah.
31:11
Brett Dellar: Yeah.
31:12
Brett Dellar: Yeah.
31:12
Tom: Well, Brett, thank you so much for being on the show today.
31:15
Tom: I really appreciate the wisdom that you shared and the stories that you shared as well.
31:18
Brett Dellar: I really appreciate you for letting me have the opportunity today to come and speak.
31:22
Brett Dellar: So always love having a chat as you can tell and, and I appreciate the opportunity and thanks to the listeners for listening in.
31:28
Tom: No worries.
31:29
Tom: Thank you.
31:30
Tom: And to our listeners, thank you for listening or watching the show today.
31:33
Tom: We really do appreciate it.
31:35
Tom: And make sure you're checking out what Brett is doing, and we'll provide all those links into the show notes.
31:41
Tom: So make sure you're checking that out and connecting with Brett.
31:44
Tom: I know our show guests always love whenheart-led you're connecting with them.
31:48
Tom: So make sure you're doing that.
31:49
Tom: And then if you could do me a favor and give this show a rating and review that helps spread the word about the Heart-Led Business Show and help more heart-led business owners.
32:00
Tom: So until next time, lead with your heart.
32:04
Speaker 2: You've been listening to the Heart Led Business Show, hosted by Tom Jackobs.
32:09
Speaker 2: Join us next time for another inspiring journey into the heart of business.