Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / The Scrubbing El Moussa with Heather Rae El Moussa

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The Scrubbing El Moussa with Heather Rae El Moussa · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

0:00
Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.
0:07
Speaker 2: Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing it.
0:10
Speaker 3: Grub a dub dub.
0:11
Speaker 2: We have a very fun guest today.
0:14
Speaker 3: I'm really excited about this girl.
0:16
Speaker 4: Me too.
0:16
Speaker 2: A lot of you know her from selling Sunset. She's
0:18
Speaker 2: a luxury real estate expert. She's a model and actress.
0:22
Speaker 2: She has really been all over your TVs.
0:25
Speaker 3: Yes, especially HGTV.
0:26
Speaker 1: She has the Flipping Almosa's, she has the hit competition series,
0:31
Speaker 1: The Flip Off, and she's just an all around outstanding goal.
0:37
Speaker 4: And I feel like you'll have a lot in common.
0:38
Speaker 3: We have a lot.
0:39
Speaker 1: I was reading her bio and reading up about her,
0:42
Speaker 1: and I just feel as though I'm talking to.
0:45
Speaker 3: Myself.
0:46
Speaker 4: It's a mirror.
0:47
Speaker 5: It's a mirror.
0:47
Speaker 2: Well, let's bring her in and get the conversation going.
0:50
Speaker 2: Everyone welcome Heather ray Elms.
0:56
Speaker 4: Hello, Yeah, she just walked in.
1:01
Speaker 3: We don't get many gifts as podcasters, No, we do.
1:04
Speaker 4: Not very rare gifts.
1:06
Speaker 5: Yeah, well this won't be the last time I'll send
1:08
Speaker 5: you guys some more.
1:10
Speaker 3: So nice. I put the I put mine on.
1:12
Speaker 1: I got the color Honey Bunny, the lippy Lippy gloss
1:16
Speaker 1: and I feel like gorgeous.
1:17
Speaker 2: I've put Honey Bunny onto and it's it is the
1:21
Speaker 2: brain with Love Heather.
1:25
Speaker 5: My little thing is like with Love Heather.
1:26
Speaker 4: It's so cute.
1:27
Speaker 2: The packaging is yeah, really cute, feels good, it smells good,
1:32
Speaker 2: tastes good.
1:35
Speaker 1: Oh so I've never met you before. You give you
1:41
Speaker 1: give me a girls girl energy.
1:43
Speaker 5: I am like you, you have that like that thing.
1:48
Speaker 5: I just feel like women should support women through everything.
1:51
Speaker 3: I feel like selling Sunset was the opposite.
1:54
Speaker 4: Of that energy.
1:55
Speaker 5: But so, did you guys watch the show? No, okay,
1:59
Speaker 5: did you watch it? No, just so we I just
2:01
Speaker 5: know I know about drama. Yeah, so if you watch,
2:05
Speaker 5: you'll see, like I'm very different than all the girls.
2:09
Speaker 5: So I'm like I was friends with everyone. I kind
2:11
Speaker 5: of kept the peace. Like I was like the peacemaker
2:13
Speaker 5: of all the girls. So they were all like fighting
2:17
Speaker 5: and drama and I'm like happy and let's all be
2:20
Speaker 5: friends and let's talk through it. So that was kind
2:22
Speaker 5: of who I was on the show.
2:23
Speaker 2: Actually, Sam said that about to you, So that's your
2:26
Speaker 2: that is your reputation.
2:27
Speaker 4: On the show.
2:28
Speaker 2: Did you ever feel like drained by having to be that?
2:32
Speaker 6: Oh?
2:32
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I feel like I do that now
2:35
Speaker 5: with my husband and his ex wife. So I'm just
2:37
Speaker 5: like kind of that person. But the show, the show
2:40
Speaker 5: was draining in general. It was like so much drama,
2:43
Speaker 5: just fighting about dumb things, Like it wasn't just about
2:46
Speaker 5: real estate. It was like drama and I'd come home
2:49
Speaker 5: and I'd like cry to my husband and be like
2:51
Speaker 5: this happened today, and it was just it was a lot.
2:54
Speaker 4: It was a lot.
2:55
Speaker 3: So yes, it seems like a lot I wanted.
2:58
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to jump straight into working with your
3:00
Speaker 2: husband's ex wife. But since we're talking about it.
3:05
Speaker 6: When that opportunity person, I feel like we did back
3:08
Speaker 6: up a little bit because I like, I don't want
3:11
Speaker 6: to jump right into it because I feel like I
3:12
Speaker 6: want you to like set up like how and if.
3:15
Speaker 1: You don't mind, I don't know if you if you're
3:16
Speaker 1: weird to talk about your age, but like how old
3:18
Speaker 1: were you when you met your husband? How long were
3:20
Speaker 1: you dating before you got married? And then and then let's.
3:24
Speaker 5: Say, how did Jill meet And yeah, yes, we met
3:26
Speaker 5: like random, so it was kind of like an old
3:29
Speaker 5: school like me. It was like random when no one
3:31
Speaker 5: introduced us. It was on fourth of July twenty nineteen,
3:34
Speaker 5: I went down to Newport Beach, so I was living
3:36
Speaker 5: in LA filming up here, working up here, and then
3:39
Speaker 5: went down to Orange County for Fourth of July. And
3:43
Speaker 5: he has a boat, and so his boat was like
3:46
Speaker 5: docked at this famous bar called Woodies. And then the
3:48
Speaker 5: boat I was on was docked at Woodies. And then
3:51
Speaker 5: my girlfriend, who also lives in LA, she was on
3:53
Speaker 5: his boat, which was random, and I saw her and
3:55
Speaker 5: I went went down there, said hi to her, and
3:58
Speaker 5: then he like B lines to me, A lines, B lines,
4:03
Speaker 5: he bee lines to me, and he introduced himself and
4:06
Speaker 5: I knew who he was because he, you know, he
4:07
Speaker 5: had a show. His divorce was all over the place,
4:10
Speaker 5: and I just knew. I knew who he was from
4:12
Speaker 5: from all that, and he was like hi. I'm like hi,
4:16
Speaker 5: and I wasn't interested. I was like in a zone.
4:19
Speaker 5: I had just got off of like a three and
4:20
Speaker 5: a half year relationship and I'd been dating and men
4:24
Speaker 5: just were pulls. It was like apple after apple over
4:27
Speaker 5: and over, and my heart was getting broken and I
4:29
Speaker 5: was just kind of over it. I'm like I'm done.
4:31
Speaker 5: I want to be happy. At this time, I was
4:33
Speaker 5: thirty one, so you know, I had had some serious
4:37
Speaker 5: relationships and then just kind of some like dating adventures,
4:40
Speaker 5: and at that point in my life, I was ready
4:44
Speaker 5: to get married. I wasn't looking to just date for fun.
4:47
Speaker 5: And I'm a huge lover, like I always believe in
4:50
Speaker 5: true love, like soulmates, and I knew he was out there.
4:54
Speaker 5: It was just like finding the right person, which is
4:56
Speaker 5: really hard, and I had kind of just not given up.
4:59
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm gona take a little bre I just
5:00
Speaker 5: need I need to be happy on my own and
5:02
Speaker 5: not worry about meeting my husband. So he introduced himself.
5:06
Speaker 5: I'm like, I know you are. He thought I knew
5:08
Speaker 5: him from who he was, and I'm like, you asked
5:11
Speaker 5: me out on Instagram three years ago. He's let into
5:14
Speaker 5: my DMS. But at the time, I had a boyfriend,
5:16
Speaker 5: and I said, you know, I have a boyfriend. I'm flattered,
5:18
Speaker 5: but I have a boyfriend. And then he's like, well,
5:21
Speaker 5: do you want to go to Paris with me? And now,
5:22
Speaker 5: well do you have a boyfriend? Still?
5:23
Speaker 7: No?
5:24
Speaker 5: Do you want to go to Paris next week? And
5:25
Speaker 5: I'm like no, do you want to go to Vegas?
5:27
Speaker 2: No?
5:28
Speaker 5: Will you go on a date with me. I'm like
5:29
Speaker 5: I don't know, maybe, and we ended up exchanging phone numbers.
5:34
Speaker 5: It's a long story. Do you want me to like
5:36
Speaker 5: tell you not all? Kind of like I shrink it
5:39
Speaker 5: down a little, but yeah.
5:40
Speaker 4: I need to Did you go to Vegas? And did
5:42
Speaker 4: you go to Paris?
5:43
Speaker 2: No?
5:43
Speaker 5: And I was like I'm not going to spend the
5:45
Speaker 5: night with you, like I know that works. I'm not
5:47
Speaker 5: doing that. And he's like we'll get separate rooms. Like
5:49
Speaker 5: I'm like sure, okay, And then we ended up exchanging
5:53
Speaker 5: numbers and texting back and forth for a couple of weeks.
5:58
Speaker 5: A lot more happened. I mean, it's actually a really
5:59
Speaker 5: good story. But I left the boat because some like
6:01
Speaker 5: twenty year old girl started insulting me. Him and I
6:05
Speaker 5: were like in a deep conversation about his divorce, and
6:07
Speaker 5: she comes over and she's like, no more talk about divorce.
6:11
Speaker 5: We're not talking about serious things today. And I was
6:13
Speaker 5: like I'm too old for this. I just I don't
6:16
Speaker 5: need this in my life. So I left the boat.
6:18
Speaker 5: And everyone who I'm friends with on the boat that
6:21
Speaker 5: day they said that he like went down to like
6:23
Speaker 5: one of the rooms, was like sulking downstairs. Was so
6:25
Speaker 5: sad that I left, and then he came back upstairs
6:28
Speaker 5: and he ended up honking his boat horn at me.
6:30
Speaker 5: I was on the other boat talking to another guy,
6:33
Speaker 5: like laid on the horn made me like jump and
6:36
Speaker 5: then he's like get over here, like you're my girl,
6:39
Speaker 5: and I was like that's cute. So then we exchanged numbers.
6:43
Speaker 5: I ended up leaving and he just was like texting
6:46
Speaker 5: me and I ended up canceling our first date the
6:50
Speaker 5: day of because I was like, you know, I'm I
6:52
Speaker 5: just don't want to put myself out there. I just
6:54
Speaker 5: don't want to get hurt again. And I felt like,
6:56
Speaker 5: you know, I feel like that's where it's going to go.
6:58
Speaker 5: And he's like, I promise you I'm different. Hmm. So
7:02
Speaker 5: one of my best friends like, just give him a chance.
7:04
Speaker 5: Why not just do it? I don't know. I'm like, okay,
7:08
Speaker 5: So I'm like, you can take me out like Monday,
7:10
Speaker 5: eight o'clock and only for drinks, and that's what happened,
7:13
Speaker 5: and then that was kind of it.
7:15
Speaker 6: Okay.
7:15
Speaker 2: Wait, so then y'all are together for a long time,
7:18
Speaker 2: and how is the dynamic with you and his ex or.
7:23
Speaker 4: How soon were you integrated into that.
7:26
Speaker 5: So when after we decided to be like exclusive or
7:31
Speaker 5: like boyfriend girlfriend, w was very quick. We moved in
7:34
Speaker 5: together really really fast. So I met the kids and
7:37
Speaker 5: his whole family probably like a week and a half
7:39
Speaker 5: after we started dating. No, yes, and that is great.
7:43
Speaker 5: So my I just got very last weekend congratulations, thank you.
7:46
Speaker 1: My husband's divorced with two kids and I didn't meet
7:48
Speaker 1: them for about a year. So it's just crazy because
7:52
Speaker 1: I feel like everybody always asks me, oh, I haven't
7:54
Speaker 1: met the kids. It's been this long, And I'm like,
7:56
Speaker 1: everybody has a different path, everybody has a difference.
8:00
Speaker 3: I don't think there's a right and a wrong in
8:02
Speaker 3: any scenario.
8:03
Speaker 1: I'm like, it just depends on you your partner, and like
8:05
Speaker 1: what they feel is right.
8:07
Speaker 2: Yeah.
8:07
Speaker 5: So I was the first girl that had ever met
8:10
Speaker 5: the kids since the divorce, and you know, he was
8:14
Speaker 5: really particular about that and he had never dated, he
8:17
Speaker 5: never dated anyone serious until he met me. And he
8:19
Speaker 5: had told everybody, I'm never getting married again, I'm never
8:22
Speaker 5: gonna have a girlfriend again because he went through such
8:24
Speaker 5: a rough divorce it was really brutal. So when he
8:27
Speaker 5: met me, everyone was like, wow, like this is not you,
8:31
Speaker 5: Like how it was like overnight a completely different person,
8:34
Speaker 5: like went from being like out partying and single forever
8:37
Speaker 5: and then it was like you're gonna be my wife,
8:40
Speaker 5: like I love you, and we just so we moved
8:42
Speaker 5: really fast. I think both of us were just ready
8:44
Speaker 5: for that connection. And the kids were really ready to
8:47
Speaker 5: have a woman in their life again. You know, they
8:49
Speaker 5: had their mom, but a woman on their dad's side.
8:51
Speaker 5: And so his daughter, she was eight when I met them,
8:55
Speaker 5: and his son was three, and she was like so
8:58
Speaker 5: receiving to me, like she wanted me so bad, and
9:02
Speaker 5: from the moment I met her, it was like read
9:04
Speaker 5: her books every night to put her to sleep, like really,
9:08
Speaker 5: we integrated our lives together, and then he proposed on
9:12
Speaker 5: our one year, our one year anniversary, so it was
9:14
Speaker 5: like very fast.
9:16
Speaker 2: Did you feel like going did you ever see yourself
9:22
Speaker 2: meeting someone who had kids?
9:23
Speaker 5: And oh wow, no? Now I think I had always
9:28
Speaker 5: said I would never date a man with kids, because
9:30
Speaker 5: it's a whole nother layer of yeah, you know, And
9:33
Speaker 5: I came from being you know, single in LA with
9:35
Speaker 5: my girlfriends, and then it was like, wow, I am
9:38
Speaker 5: now raising children and I have like a serious boyfriend,
9:43
Speaker 5: and I have these kids in my life. I have
9:44
Speaker 5: to learn how to be not a mom. Was in
9:46
Speaker 5: the beginning, you're not you know, you're not a mom.
9:48
Speaker 5: You're still like figuring out your place. But it was
9:51
Speaker 5: a huge change for me. And you never know how
9:53
Speaker 5: the ex is going to be with you too, And
9:55
Speaker 5: I didn't want to add that drama in my life.
9:58
Speaker 5: And I'm a really sensitive person, and I didn't think
10:01
Speaker 5: I'm a virgo. Okay, I could handle like if she
10:06
Speaker 5: was like a nasty yatch to me, I don't think
10:08
Speaker 5: I could. I couldn't handle that being the person that
10:10
Speaker 5: I am, with the heart that I have.
10:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I commend anyone who steps into
10:17
Speaker 2: the role of a step parent when it's challenging from
10:22
Speaker 2: the other parent. I mean, that's like you're taking on
10:25
Speaker 2: not only the role of being a parent to these
10:27
Speaker 2: kids that you're just meeting for the first time, but
10:30
Speaker 2: also navigating the other parent who's involved.
10:35
Speaker 5: Not easy.
10:36
Speaker 3: So when did you meet her?
10:37
Speaker 5: So pretty quickly into it I met her It was
10:41
Speaker 5: Tark's Sun's birthday, so we met in July nineteenth. I
10:47
Speaker 5: guess you could say official the end of July and
10:50
Speaker 5: then I met her August twentieth.
10:55
Speaker 4: Wow, how it was the meeting.
10:58
Speaker 5: She was very pregnant at the time with her third child,
11:01
Speaker 5: and Dark and I were heading up to La to
11:05
Speaker 5: like go to like Boa for dinner. So I'm in
11:07
Speaker 5: this like fun little pink dress and I'm like, you know,
11:11
Speaker 5: and I'd looking all cute and she looked beautiful. I mean,
11:14
Speaker 5: she's a beautiful woman, so she looked pretty. But I'm
11:17
Speaker 5: sure like him bringing in is new, Yeah, you know,
11:20
Speaker 5: girl was like oh, and we went in, said happy
11:23
Speaker 5: with his son, like hung out for a little bit,
11:25
Speaker 5: and her and I just barely chit chatted. And I
11:28
Speaker 5: was nervous because I'm like, I've never met her before.
11:31
Speaker 5: She's the mother of your kids, and that's an important
11:34
Speaker 5: position for me, Like I'm stepping into being in their lives,
11:37
Speaker 5: and are we going to get along? How is it
11:39
Speaker 5: going to be? And she probably didn't know at the
11:41
Speaker 5: time we were going to be as serious as we were, right,
11:45
Speaker 5: But yeah, it was. It was short the first meeting,
11:47
Speaker 5: But then I did text her and I said, you know,
11:49
Speaker 5: I'm going to be around the kids a lot. Is
11:51
Speaker 5: there anything I need to know? I just want to
11:53
Speaker 5: like introduce myself and just chit chat a little bit.
11:55
Speaker 5: So I ride away texted her and said.
11:59
Speaker 2: That, so, was it just kind of like cordial, nice
12:03
Speaker 2: to meet to you vibes?
12:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, but not knowing if y'all were going to be
12:08
Speaker 4: friends or not at that point.
12:09
Speaker 2: No, So then there's this infamous moment where y'all are
12:15
Speaker 2: all at a was it a game?
12:18
Speaker 5: Soccer game?
12:18
Speaker 4: Soccer game?
12:20
Speaker 2: Soccer? Question?
12:21
Speaker 5: Is?
12:22
Speaker 2: My question is how you went from that moment to
12:26
Speaker 2: where you are now?
12:27
Speaker 4: But first we're going to take a break.
12:30
Speaker 3: Wow, that's how it's done, Ladies and gentlemen.
12:32
Speaker 5: A good one.
12:48
Speaker 4: All right, we are back. So the soccer game. Yes,
12:53
Speaker 4: what happened.
12:54
Speaker 5: It's so funny because I never had like bad press
12:59
Speaker 5: until I met my husband. I feel like I was
13:02
Speaker 5: always like the nice girl, right, so I have good
13:04
Speaker 5: press and then I meet him and it's like chaos.
13:07
Speaker 5: Every day of my life. It still is. And you
13:10
Speaker 5: know that I'm wrapped into Tark and Christina's drama and that.
13:13
Speaker 5: And they were still filming Flip or Flop too, by
13:16
Speaker 5: the way, Like, so when we started dating, they had
13:18
Speaker 5: their shows still, so he was still filming with her,
13:21
Speaker 5: and I had to navigate like. They did not speak
13:25
Speaker 5: besides for the kids. It was like they didn't have
13:27
Speaker 5: a they didn't have like a relationship. They did not speak.
13:31
Speaker 5: So I'm like, okay, we hate her this week, we
13:33
Speaker 5: like her, we hate her like well, like I didn't know.
13:35
Speaker 5: I'm just I'm supporting my husband the soccer field. I'll
13:41
Speaker 5: tell you, Like, I can't go into like super details,
13:43
Speaker 5: but it's funny because it wasn't even me and her fighting,
13:47
Speaker 5: like the pop Rozzi got this photo and it looked
13:49
Speaker 5: like I was like leaning in, like yelling at her.
13:52
Speaker 5: It wasn't even I was actually leaning in just kind
13:54
Speaker 5: of like talking with her. But my husband and her
13:57
Speaker 5: husband at the time, they more go into it like
14:00
Speaker 5: they were like, you know, face to face, like getting
14:03
Speaker 5: into it. And I don't even know why the pap
14:07
Speaker 5: Rozzi were there. I don't I don't even know. But
14:10
Speaker 5: we got mad about something that she did, I don't know,
14:13
Speaker 5: and Tark just got upset about it and walked over
14:15
Speaker 5: to her and said something. I went over to grab him,
14:18
Speaker 5: and then I leaned in to say something to her
14:20
Speaker 5: and then he pulled me away. So it looked like
14:23
Speaker 5: I was fighting with her, but really it was him.
14:25
Speaker 2: That was more of yeah, you were trying to like
14:28
Speaker 2: break down, use.
14:29
Speaker 4: Use this situation in the next.
14:34
Speaker 5: But then my stepson he got really sick that night.
14:37
Speaker 5: So we woke up to like calls at four in
14:39
Speaker 5: the morning that his appendix had to come out, and
14:42
Speaker 5: then something else in his stomach, and so we woke
14:45
Speaker 5: up to calls that they were at the hospital, and
14:47
Speaker 5: so we got our you know, got ready really quick
14:50
Speaker 5: and then met at the hospital. And we had just
14:51
Speaker 5: come off of that fight that day. And then that
14:54
Speaker 5: was actually the weekend I got pregnant, so it was
14:57
Speaker 5: like a lot happened that weekend and yeah, so we
15:02
Speaker 5: ended up being at the hospital together and that kind
15:04
Speaker 5: of that that from that moment on, we were cool.
15:06
Speaker 4: Oh how crazy is that.
15:08
Speaker 5: That was like the moment that we were like no
15:10
Speaker 5: more bs, Like we're not trying to come after you,
15:13
Speaker 5: You're not trying to come after us, Like we need
15:15
Speaker 5: to be cool for the kids, like, and that was
15:17
Speaker 5: the moment that we've and we've been cool since.
15:19
Speaker 4: That's so interesting. That's literally the same day of the
15:23
Speaker 4: fight is when.
15:23
Speaker 5: You cut Yes.
15:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
15:25
Speaker 2: Yeah.
15:26
Speaker 3: It wasn't like a conversation.
15:27
Speaker 5: It was just like a known thing in the hospital.
15:30
Speaker 5: We kind of had that conversation. Tark actually like pulled
15:34
Speaker 5: her aside and said, you know, we're not like, we
15:38
Speaker 5: don't want any issues with you, and she's like, I
15:40
Speaker 5: don't either, and then from then on it was just,
15:43
Speaker 5: you know, that stressful, scary moment with Brydon, my stepson,
15:46
Speaker 5: brought us all closer together and then that was it.
15:50
Speaker 5: The drama, all the drama and the BS was kind
15:52
Speaker 5: of over.
15:53
Speaker 4: Wow, So how did you navigate what?
15:55
Speaker 2: So you're dating him and he's still working going to
15:58
Speaker 2: work with his ex wife and obviously you know it's
16:00
Speaker 2: like tense and they're not they're barely even speaking.
16:03
Speaker 4: How did you handle that though?
16:04
Speaker 2: Because there's still I mean, I think everyone it's human
16:08
Speaker 2: to have kind of like insecurities are like these people
16:10
Speaker 2: were married, what if you know, how did you navigate that?
16:14
Speaker 5: It's interesting because you know a lot of people don't
16:16
Speaker 5: ask me that, but I think like as women, you know,
16:21
Speaker 5: we all go through things in our minds where you're like,
16:24
Speaker 5: you know, is he doing that? Does he? And I
16:26
Speaker 5: think for me in the beginning, you know, I knew
16:29
Speaker 5: we loved each other, but it's still new and he's
16:32
Speaker 5: with this woman for so many years of his life.
16:34
Speaker 5: They have two kids together. I knew how in love
16:37
Speaker 5: he was with her, and it was always like a
16:41
Speaker 5: little in the back of my mind, like are you
16:42
Speaker 5: still in love with this woman? Obviously he still love you,
16:45
Speaker 5: you know you love me, But I never said that
16:48
Speaker 5: to him. It's like I was a question I ever
16:49
Speaker 5: asked him, but it was like, are you fully over her?
16:52
Speaker 5: I mean, when you're you're deeply like you're married to someone,
16:54
Speaker 5: you're in love with them, are you over it? And
16:59
Speaker 5: but honestly, and he never it's like he did anything
17:02
Speaker 5: to ever for me to ever think he wasn't. It
17:04
Speaker 5: was just like the girl in me, like being a
17:06
Speaker 5: little insecure at.
17:07
Speaker 4: The time, like a human in you.
17:09
Speaker 5: Yeah, the human in me, I guess, yeah. And I
17:12
Speaker 5: spoke about it only one other time with the Today Show.
17:15
Speaker 5: I kind of brought that up, and then of course
17:17
Speaker 5: the headlines take it and they spin all these things.
17:20
Speaker 5: And so that's why I think I've always kind of
17:22
Speaker 5: kept it to myself because I don't want to look
17:24
Speaker 5: like I'm crazy, you know, But I think it's just
17:27
Speaker 5: the human in you, right, like you're, yeah, you're a
17:29
Speaker 5: little insecure in the beginning, I think in any relationship,
17:32
Speaker 5: and it wasn't because of him, It was because of me.
17:34
Speaker 4: Yeah.
17:34
Speaker 2: And it's also it's such a specific situation that you're in,
17:39
Speaker 2: Like how often are people having this very public relationship
17:43
Speaker 2: with someone who's just gone through a very public divorce
17:46
Speaker 2: and then they work together still, Like this is not
17:49
Speaker 2: a normal Like people are so like.
17:51
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that, like you, in
17:54
Speaker 1: my opinion, like you don't sound crazy, you don't look crazy,
17:57
Speaker 1: you don't nothing that you're saying is crazy, because I too,
18:00
Speaker 1: like I I don't have to deal with the working
18:03
Speaker 1: together part of it. But I feel like when I
18:06
Speaker 1: was in the beginning, in the early stages, you're like, oh,
18:08
Speaker 1: you've you've been married before, like you've had a wedding before, like.
18:14
Speaker 5: I'm the second wife.
18:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, and not even that, but like it's like you
18:17
Speaker 1: have these feelings of like, this is something I've looked
18:19
Speaker 1: forward to my whole life and you've already done it.
18:21
Speaker 1: And I had those same thoughts too, and it's like
18:24
Speaker 1: you don't really realize until you have some time under
18:27
Speaker 1: your belt with that person that like it is it's
18:31
Speaker 1: I don't want to.
18:32
Speaker 3: I don't want to like minimize marriage. But it's just
18:34
Speaker 3: another relationship, do you know what I mean.
18:35
Speaker 5: And it's a very different relationship.
18:37
Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:38
Speaker 5: Before Yes, it took time. Like you said, it was
18:40
Speaker 5: like now it's something I would never even and even
18:43
Speaker 5: years ago, it's like I don't even think about that.
18:45
Speaker 5: But in the beginning, yeah, there was those moments where
18:48
Speaker 5: even though they did, they weren't speaking, they didn't get along.
18:52
Speaker 5: But it's not like I'm just you know, in the beginning,
18:54
Speaker 5: you're still managing your relationship. Yeah, you know each other,
18:57
Speaker 5: and you add kids into it, and then you add
18:59
Speaker 5: an wife who was very much in our lives, and
19:02
Speaker 5: it's not like right away we were like very close,
19:05
Speaker 5: you know. It was still like I was navigating my position.
19:08
Speaker 5: I was navigating my relationship, navigating all of a sudden
19:11
Speaker 5: taking care of children. So I was like I was
19:13
Speaker 5: managing a lot. Plus I was still filming selling sunset
19:16
Speaker 5: up in La a lot. Like I was managing a
19:19
Speaker 5: lot of that time in my life and coming into
19:21
Speaker 5: like a very chaotic situation with the public eye watching us.
19:25
Speaker 1: Literally, I like it's like hearing my own self talking
19:30
Speaker 1: because it's like I dealt with that on the literally
19:32
Speaker 1: on a smaller scale because it wasn't like the public
19:35
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, scrutinizing me in any way, shape or form.
19:38
Speaker 1: So like I do commend you because I feel like
19:40
Speaker 1: I didn't have that extra.
19:41
Speaker 5: Layer of.
19:43
Speaker 3: Scrutiny to deal with. And it is so crazy.
19:46
Speaker 1: You're like a single girl just having to like I
19:48
Speaker 1: would like spend saturdays postmating breakfast, lunch, and dinner on
19:51
Speaker 1: my couch, like when I was exhausted to like barely
19:55
Speaker 1: having a minute to myself and like figuring out what
19:58
Speaker 1: to like make our family for dinner.
20:00
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. It's like it's such a
20:01
Speaker 3: crazy like school.
20:02
Speaker 5: Schedules and yeah, just and then guaranteeing and with with
20:06
Speaker 5: the ex wife and it was, yeah, it was a lot.
20:09
Speaker 5: So I'm happy I'm in the place I am now
20:11
Speaker 5: because now that I like, now i'm six years in
20:14
Speaker 5: I think back, I'm like, oh my god, wow, that
20:16
Speaker 5: was a lot of girl. It was a girlwind it
20:18
Speaker 5: still is. My husband's a little you know, he's fine.
20:21
Speaker 5: He's crazy in a good way.
20:24
Speaker 2: So we all have a show together now we do
20:27
Speaker 2: so and and obviously there's the working relationship, but it
20:31
Speaker 2: seems like you and chriesting to have a good relationship.
20:35
Speaker 3: Are you friends?
20:36
Speaker 5: I would say we are friends. I don't want to
20:39
Speaker 5: say we're not, because that's that's rude, because we do.
20:41
Speaker 5: We know we But I think too, there has to
20:44
Speaker 5: be boundaries when sure, it's still his ex wife, and
20:47
Speaker 5: I think it wouldn't be respectful to him if I
20:50
Speaker 5: was like, let's go out have girls nights, you know,
20:52
Speaker 5: and I'm inviting her around, Like I think that I
20:55
Speaker 5: still feel like there should be because like they went through
20:57
Speaker 5: their their stuff, you know, and and ultimately my husband
21:01
Speaker 5: is he's my number one. But we like each other
21:05
Speaker 5: and we get along and we have fun together, which
21:09
Speaker 5: he knew we would. He would always tell me like, oh,
21:12
Speaker 5: you guys are gonna get along. You guys, you know,
21:14
Speaker 5: you guys are definitely gonna get along and have fun together.
21:16
Speaker 5: Because I was like, are we gonna enjoy working together?
21:20
Speaker 5: We co parent, But it's very different when you're with
21:22
Speaker 5: someone a lot more and you're you're filming with them
21:25
Speaker 5: and him and her film together for years, and then
21:29
Speaker 5: you know, I'm not the odd one out, but they were.
21:31
Speaker 5: They knew how each other worked on set and filmed,
21:34
Speaker 5: and you know, it's a relationship that you really have to.
21:38
Speaker 5: It's hard. It's not easy to be on camera, right,
21:40
Speaker 5: and him and I had our thing. I had my
21:42
Speaker 5: thing on selling sunset, but like bringing us all together,
21:45
Speaker 5: what was the dynamic going to be? The first day
21:48
Speaker 5: we filmed together, she texted me after, She's like, that
21:50
Speaker 5: was so fun. It was great. I'm like, I know,
21:52
Speaker 5: I agree, it was so fun. So working together brought
21:56
Speaker 5: our relationship closer where we got to know each other
21:58
Speaker 5: on a deeper level and not just like co parents. Yeah, yeah,
22:02
Speaker 5: I mean, I just want you to know, like I do,
22:04
Speaker 5: you know a lot of step moms. Your situation is
22:08
Speaker 5: so like unique and rare, and like, it's so nice
22:11
Speaker 5: that you have that. I hope you will come to
22:13
Speaker 5: me now that they know my situation, they know that
22:16
Speaker 5: we're navigating it so positively. They now I hear a
22:19
Speaker 5: lot of stepmoms coming to me. But before not really no,
22:23
Speaker 5: but now I do. Yeah.
22:26
Speaker 2: Who presented the idea of y'all doing a show together?
22:29
Speaker 5: We had kind of Tark and I had been talking
22:31
Speaker 5: about doing like a competition show, and then I forgot
22:36
Speaker 5: exactly how it went down. But then we started talking
22:38
Speaker 5: to Christina about doing it against each other and then
22:40
Speaker 5: we propose it to the network and we came up
22:42
Speaker 5: with a name too.
22:44
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
22:44
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was interesting because we're co producers on the show,
22:47
Speaker 5: so we really helped like cultivate the whole season and
22:51
Speaker 5: bring it all together and.
22:52
Speaker 3: It's doing amazing. Yeah, Like, are you so proud?
22:55
Speaker 5: I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm proud of our
22:57
Speaker 5: other show too. We have the Flipping all moosas that show,
23:01
Speaker 5: like season two, season one, I was learning how to
23:03
Speaker 5: flip shows on our flip shows Flip Houses on TV.
23:07
Speaker 5: So you know you watched me like learning and season
23:10
Speaker 5: two you see, like how much I've learned and put
23:12
Speaker 5: it all together. It's so good. But I feel like
23:15
Speaker 5: people stop talking about the flipping on says because the
23:17
Speaker 5: flip off.
23:19
Speaker 4: You know nothing. People love a competition show. You bring
23:24
Speaker 4: in your dynamic there they eat it up.
23:26
Speaker 5: Yeah.
23:27
Speaker 4: So y'all expanded your family together? We did, so you
23:30
Speaker 4: have a son together? What was that? How was that?
23:33
Speaker 2: Like?
23:33
Speaker 4: What was it like with bringing because Tanya is gonna.
23:37
Speaker 2: Yes, eventually go through the process of expanding their family.
23:41
Speaker 4: Y'all have a very similar It's.
23:43
Speaker 1: Crazy, I'm like, but also I just got married last week.
23:45
Speaker 3: I'm like everybody like race, I know, I know.
23:52
Speaker 5: So it's interesting because when we first met, we talked
23:56
Speaker 5: about not having kids of our own, and I think
24:00
Speaker 5: for me, until I met that person, I never I
24:03
Speaker 5: wasn't like someone that was like I can't wait to
24:06
Speaker 5: have children. I can't wait to I wanted to get married,
24:08
Speaker 5: but I had never met anyone that I would want
24:11
Speaker 5: to have children with. So then when we first met
24:14
Speaker 5: and we instantly had a connection, I still was like, no,
24:16
Speaker 5: I don't I don't think I want kids, like I'm okay,
24:19
Speaker 5: and he already had his two, so he was like,
24:21
Speaker 5: I'm good. He came well, yeah, he came over. I
24:23
Speaker 5: remember he came over to my house and we like
24:26
Speaker 5: sat down. I could tell his energy was off. I'm like,
24:28
Speaker 5: what's going on. He's like, I just I'm really serious
24:31
Speaker 5: that I don't want more kids and I don't want that.
24:34
Speaker 5: I don't want you. I don't I don't know how
24:36
Speaker 5: you're going to handle that. And I'm like, it's okay,
24:38
Speaker 5: I don't want kids either. Well back forward, you know,
24:42
Speaker 5: we fell in love and you have you have this
24:44
Speaker 5: deep connection with someone, and then I loved being a
24:46
Speaker 5: stepmom so much, I was so close to the kids.
24:50
Speaker 5: I just wanted to experience it on my own and
24:54
Speaker 5: have my own and have my own with him. And
24:59
Speaker 5: we got married. We already kind of talking about it,
25:02
Speaker 5: and his sister at the wedding was like, you have
25:04
Speaker 5: to give her a baby, Like, give her a baby,
25:06
Speaker 5: just you know, do it. And then after we got married,
25:09
Speaker 5: we just stopped not trying. Wait, no, wait, we stopped
25:12
Speaker 5: wait what does that mean you start stopped not wait,
25:15
Speaker 5: we stopped protecting, like you know. So we were just
25:18
Speaker 5: like whatever, whatever happens happened. But we had done IVF
25:22
Speaker 5: and we had embryos because I had low fertility, and
25:26
Speaker 5: then he had testicular cancer, so like, the chances of
25:29
Speaker 5: us having a baby is very low. So I did
25:32
Speaker 5: two rounds of IVF. I didn't get very many eggs,
25:35
Speaker 5: but then they were able to make them in the lab.
25:39
Speaker 5: I guess it's what they do. And then we got
25:42
Speaker 5: four embryos, so we were planning on putting an embryo
25:46
Speaker 5: in and then I got pregnant, so naturally. Yeah, So
25:50
Speaker 5: it was just a lot of trying and a lot
25:52
Speaker 5: of fun. Like we didn't I wasn't like stressing about it.
25:54
Speaker 5: I was just like, whatever happens, because I know I
25:56
Speaker 5: have my embryos, and then I got pregnant. It was
25:59
Speaker 5: a huge shot, a huge shock.
26:01
Speaker 4: I know it's a lot of people talk about this.
26:03
Speaker 2: I know it's a sensitive topic with infertility, but I
26:06
Speaker 2: know that stress is such a.
26:08
Speaker 4: Huge cause in a lot of people, Like once they stop.
26:13
Speaker 2: I always hear that once they are like not overthinking
26:15
Speaker 2: it and not trying so hard, which I think is
26:17
Speaker 2: so hard to It's hard, Like it's so easy to
26:20
Speaker 2: just be like, well, don't stress about it and it'll happen,
26:22
Speaker 2: But it's there's so much stress, and especially when you're
26:25
Speaker 2: really wanting it.
26:26
Speaker 5: You want one so bad.
26:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I do think your your mentality. I do
26:30
Speaker 2: think that that helps with a lot of people when
26:33
Speaker 2: you're doing like acupuncture and things that limit your stress levels.
26:37
Speaker 2: But do you all want more?
26:44
Speaker 5: That's a sensitive topic for me because I I didn't
26:49
Speaker 5: obviously I had my step kids and I'm so in
26:51
Speaker 5: love with them, but having your own baby, oh my gosh,
26:56
Speaker 5: it's like it's so hard to explain it until you
26:59
Speaker 5: go through it. And I'd see my friends and my
27:02
Speaker 5: friends be like jetting, like like jetting off, leaving the
27:05
Speaker 5: kids with nannies, and I'm like, oh, that'll be me,
27:08
Speaker 5: you know, I'm sure, And so I kind of went
27:10
Speaker 5: into it very much like I'm going to still be
27:13
Speaker 5: able to continue my life and Turk and I will
27:16
Speaker 5: still have our time together. And then I had a
27:19
Speaker 5: baby and I my friends are like, we're gonna have
27:22
Speaker 5: an intervention because I never wanted to leave. I want
27:26
Speaker 5: to be with him all the time. I still do.
27:28
Speaker 5: He is like the light of my life. He's the
27:31
Speaker 5: It makes me so happy. How could I not want more?
27:35
Speaker 5: But my husband is very much done. So we're very
27:39
Speaker 5: different on what we want with our future, which is
27:41
Speaker 5: hard because you know you're in love with some one
27:43
Speaker 5: and you have this strong marriage, but then you want
27:45
Speaker 5: very different things. So we are in therapy talking through things,
27:51
Speaker 5: and it's just something that like, we never went to
27:55
Speaker 5: therapy together, which I wish we would have started it
27:58
Speaker 5: sooner because I think it's such an amazing thing and
28:01
Speaker 5: it helps communication. But we more recently, i'd say four
28:04
Speaker 5: months ago, started going to therapy together and we go
28:08
Speaker 5: twice a month, so we don't go every week, but
28:11
Speaker 5: it just helps us, like talk through what I'm feeling,
28:13
Speaker 5: and then his feelings and yeah, so I'm thirty seven.
28:16
Speaker 5: I'm turning thirty eight this year. So for me, it's
28:19
Speaker 5: kind of like now or never in a way, not
28:22
Speaker 5: because you can't have babies older, but I don't want
28:25
Speaker 5: to be forty having babies still because it's you know,
28:28
Speaker 5: it's a lot it is. It takes up a lot
28:29
Speaker 5: of your time, a lot of your life, and the
28:33
Speaker 5: kids are my priority over myself, so I want.
28:36
Speaker 3: To do it.
28:36
Speaker 5: Get my body back, and it took a long time.
28:39
Speaker 3: It's hard.
28:40
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that because that was very honest.
28:43
Speaker 2: And I also think a lot of people will be
28:45
Speaker 2: able to relate to that because it's like you go
28:48
Speaker 2: in to the relationship and the marriage not even thinking
28:52
Speaker 2: you and want something. You get married, you get to
28:56
Speaker 2: have you get to experience that love of having a child,
28:59
Speaker 2: and then it's like now.
29:01
Speaker 1: And I also want to commend you too, because I
29:02
Speaker 1: feel like I don't know if it was the same
29:05
Speaker 1: with you, but I had so many people in my
29:07
Speaker 1: ear telling me like go run head for the hills,
29:11
Speaker 1: like because we didn't align necessarily at the exact same
29:14
Speaker 1: time with our wants of just for the future, and
29:17
Speaker 1: I'm like, I think you have to give people time
29:20
Speaker 1: and space to figure things out. Because for us, like
29:24
Speaker 1: my I keep when I say my fiance my husband,
29:27
Speaker 1: he uh, he was never I don't want any more kids,
29:31
Speaker 1: but he was never like I want more kids. So
29:33
Speaker 1: he was kind of just like in the middle. And
29:35
Speaker 1: I got to a place where I was like, I
29:37
Speaker 1: do want more. So if that's something, if that's something
29:40
Speaker 1: that you're not wanting, then like I need at some point,
29:43
Speaker 1: I need you to figure it out. So I kind
29:44
Speaker 1: of like gave him the time in the space, and
29:46
Speaker 1: I would have people in my ear being like, you can't.
29:48
Speaker 3: Change a man. You can't change him. He doesn't want to,
29:51
Speaker 3: you should leave him, leave him.
29:52
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm going to give him the
29:54
Speaker 1: time and the space and the grace to like figure
29:56
Speaker 1: it out. And then you figured it out, and like
29:58
Speaker 1: he's so excited about that step in that next, you know,
30:01
Speaker 1: phase of our relationship.
30:02
Speaker 3: And I feel like it's really hard because.
30:06
Speaker 1: You know, we're not I don't say like eighteen, but
30:08
Speaker 1: it's like when you're eighteen or nineteen and twenty, when
30:11
Speaker 1: you find this person, you're you're both single, you don't
30:13
Speaker 1: have kids, and you know, there's you've lived a lot
30:16
Speaker 1: of life and there's like a lot in there, and
30:17
Speaker 1: I just feel like nobody really understands it unless you're
30:21
Speaker 1: in it.
30:22
Speaker 5: And men need more time.
30:24
Speaker 1: To it's also black and white, yeah, and I think
30:26
Speaker 1: a lot of people think that relationships are very black
30:28
Speaker 1: or white.
30:29
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not clearly like your situation and mine, and
30:33
Speaker 5: men need time to process things. And for me, I'm like,
30:36
Speaker 5: I wish I would have brought up having another baby
30:38
Speaker 5: sooner after we had Tristan. But you know, postpartum two
30:41
Speaker 5: is like really hard. Like I didn't have depression, but
30:44
Speaker 5: like you go through crazy hormoneous changes. You're taking care
30:48
Speaker 5: of this like little human that needs you. It's not
30:51
Speaker 5: like you can just leave and like go like they
30:54
Speaker 5: need you. And I breastfed for a long time. I mean,
30:57
Speaker 5: I guess what's a long time now, but a long
30:59
Speaker 5: time for me, Like it was a lot. I wrestled
31:01
Speaker 5: for eight months and that is a long time. It's
31:03
Speaker 5: a long time. And my milk it was really challenging.
31:06
Speaker 5: He had tongue taih lip tongue tie, lip high and
31:10
Speaker 5: cheek tie, and so breastfeeding wasn't just like a natural
31:13
Speaker 5: thing for me, Like I thought it was gonna be, Oh,
31:14
Speaker 5: you put him on the boob and you can breastfeed
31:16
Speaker 5: in public. Like No, it was very challenging for me.
31:19
Speaker 5: And you feel like, you know, as a mom, you're
31:23
Speaker 5: like there's a lot of pressure to be like a
31:25
Speaker 5: perfect mom, and you know you have outside people like
31:29
Speaker 5: I still get screen iced he sucks on passies and
31:31
Speaker 5: people are like attacking me that he sucks on passes.
31:33
Speaker 4: He's two.
31:35
Speaker 5: You know, it's like he's a baby still and who
31:38
Speaker 5: cares it makes him happy?
31:39
Speaker 3: You know, And when are they supposed to stop doing that?
31:43
Speaker 5: I don't know, seriously, if you like look it up,
31:45
Speaker 5: I guess it says by like tube. But his dentist
31:48
Speaker 5: is like he can even suck one until he's four.
31:50
Speaker 5: Nothing he's going to but like, yeah, I'm like, listen,
31:52
Speaker 5: he's a baby. He just turned two years old. He's
31:55
Speaker 5: my little baby. I'm not gonna like yeah anyways. So
31:58
Speaker 5: it's just like shutting out the outside noise of what
32:01
Speaker 5: kind of mom you should be, and there's a lot
32:04
Speaker 5: of pressure, and then postpartum is no joke. You're trying
32:06
Speaker 5: to figure out how to be a good wife. I
32:08
Speaker 5: be a good step mom. I was back to like filming,
32:11
Speaker 5: I was doing interviews. I was trying to take care
32:13
Speaker 5: of it a newborn who I've never taken care of
32:15
Speaker 5: a newborn. I don't know how to I don't know
32:17
Speaker 5: how to change diapers. So I was like learning all
32:19
Speaker 5: these things, and you know, you're going through all the
32:22
Speaker 5: bleeding and the everything. It's just crazy what your body
32:26
Speaker 5: goes through, and like trying to still be a good wife.
32:29
Speaker 5: And then the man kind of expects you, not expects you,
32:31
Speaker 5: but like they're used to a certain woman, right, and
32:33
Speaker 5: then you're like going through all these changes. They'll never understand.
32:37
Speaker 5: It's trying to explain it to them. And like he
32:40
Speaker 5: was supportive, but then at some point they're out. He
32:43
Speaker 5: was out going back to work and traveling still and
32:45
Speaker 5: I'm home with this baby. Yeah, And him and I
32:48
Speaker 5: were so used to being like joined at the hip, inseparable,
32:51
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden, I'm home with the baby.
32:54
Speaker 5: He's taking the bigger kids out to go do things,
32:56
Speaker 5: he's traveling, he's out working, he's at the office, and
32:59
Speaker 5: I'm just like at home with this baby. It was
33:02
Speaker 5: really hard for me because I was used to like
33:03
Speaker 5: go go, go up until I gave birth. I was
33:05
Speaker 5: filming two shows, Selling Sunset and The Flipping Ail moosays,
33:09
Speaker 5: so I was used to being on the go NonStop
33:11
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden, you're home with a
33:12
Speaker 5: baby and that's your life.
33:13
Speaker 1: One of our producers was we did like a whole
33:16
Speaker 1: episode on that too, and she was saying like, I've
33:17
Speaker 1: never like she's in a super healthy, happy marriage and
33:21
Speaker 1: she's like, I've never had any sort of like uh resentment,
33:25
Speaker 1: resentment to my husband until we had the baby. And
33:28
Speaker 1: I can't remember what his porternity leave was, but he
33:30
Speaker 1: went back and he would just like go to work
33:32
Speaker 1: and she would just be like at home. And I
33:33
Speaker 1: was like, wow, that's like it's very interesting change for
33:37
Speaker 1: the word huge, like major, and you're not you don't
33:41
Speaker 1: know what to expect if you haven't had one. I
33:43
Speaker 1: think second time is always very different because you know
33:46
Speaker 1: what to expect, you know the routine, You kind of
33:49
Speaker 1: know what a baby's gonna need generally, like they're all different,
33:51
Speaker 1: but you kind of know how you're going to handle postpartum.
33:54
Speaker 5: And but I think to my husband's worried that if
33:58
Speaker 5: we have another one we're never going to see each other.
34:01
Speaker 5: It's like we're never going to have our quality time together.
34:04
Speaker 5: We already have now three imaginating another one. And he's like,
34:09
Speaker 5: I've been raising babies since I was in my twenties.
34:12
Speaker 5: You know, I'm ready to be done, honey. Yeah. And me,
34:14
Speaker 5: I'm like, but I just started.
34:16
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:17
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's kind of where we're at. You know, we're
34:19
Speaker 5: talking through it. Yeah, thank you, I really want one.
34:22
Speaker 5: He doesn't.
34:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I really appreciate you, like opening up about that,
34:26
Speaker 1: because you could have literally just said to us like no, no, yes.
34:30
Speaker 5: Really, I like it's like, you know, there there's a
34:33
Speaker 5: lot of layers to relationships in life, and we came
34:36
Speaker 5: into a complicated situation. You know, it's been it's been
34:39
Speaker 5: amazing and beautiful, but it's very complicated.
34:42
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was gonna say, I mean, you must have
34:46
Speaker 2: really I felt like Tark was your person because you
34:49
Speaker 2: really took on a lot. Like really, I'm thinking, I'm
34:54
Speaker 2: like listening to all this that you've you know, navigated
34:57
Speaker 2: since being in this relationship, and you must have. Really
35:00
Speaker 2: I felt like this is the person I'm supposed to
35:01
Speaker 2: be with, and yeah, I'm going to fight till the end.
35:03
Speaker 1: To I don't think you would do it if it
35:05
Speaker 1: wasn't No, no, no, because it was a lot.
35:08
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean we are best friends, we're soulmates.
35:11
Speaker 5: Obviously you go through your issues and you know every
35:13
Speaker 5: marriage has them, but in the end, like we are
35:16
Speaker 5: each other's rock and we're best friends and we just
35:18
Speaker 5: support each other through everything.
35:20
Speaker 4: I want to talk about this.
35:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's talk about business. I want to get your number.
35:27
Speaker 2: I want to talk about business because first of all,
35:32
Speaker 2: you're such a virgo I get are you very much
35:34
Speaker 2: like a perfectionist?
35:35
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yes, too much?
35:39
Speaker 3: Like do you anea Graham one? Do you know that?
35:41
Speaker 5: I don't know. I you know, I feel like I
35:43
Speaker 5: did that? Did I do that test? I think I
35:45
Speaker 5: did it. I don't remember.
35:46
Speaker 3: It was trendy for a minute.
35:47
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't remember what I am.
35:48
Speaker 3: Okay, the perfectionist is number one.
35:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I.
35:50
Speaker 2: Also see you being a nine, which is like your
35:53
Speaker 2: peacemaker and like you you want people to be like
35:56
Speaker 2: happy with you.
35:57
Speaker 5: And how oh yeah, happy with me. I don't like
36:00
Speaker 5: when people are upset at me. Yeah, or if like
36:02
Speaker 5: it's nothing, I'm like, are you okay? What did I
36:05
Speaker 5: do nothing. I'm fine. I was just running into the
36:07
Speaker 5: grocery store. I'm like, Okay, you know I don't like Yeah,
36:09
Speaker 5: I don't like any kind of tension or even like
36:12
Speaker 5: in my business, if I have to lay down the law,
36:15
Speaker 5: I then like feel guilty that I had to lay
36:16
Speaker 5: down the law.
36:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's what I'm trying. I'm like, I see
36:20
Speaker 4: you as this person.
36:21
Speaker 2: I'm like, as you're talking, I'm like, okay, she she's
36:25
Speaker 2: a peacemaker, she's a perfectionist, and she's a businesswoman. So
36:29
Speaker 2: how do all three of those coexist together? Because you
36:31
Speaker 2: do so many things, Like we're looking at your bio
36:34
Speaker 2: and Tonya goes, she does a thousand, where do we start?
36:40
Speaker 5: Well, Launching Heather Iay Essentials was a huge moment for
36:44
Speaker 5: me because I, you know, three and a half years well,
36:48
Speaker 5: I guess we talked about this off camera. So Heather
36:50
Speaker 5: I Essentials is my beauty line that I launched just
36:54
Speaker 5: last month. What are we in March February fourteenth. But
36:57
Speaker 5: I sat on it. I worked on it for a
36:58
Speaker 5: long time, and then I was kind of afraid to
37:01
Speaker 5: launch because launching something is it can either do really
37:04
Speaker 5: amazing or it can fall flat, and I was just
37:07
Speaker 5: a little bit nervous, like what was going to happen.
37:09
Speaker 5: And everything was self funded. We had some partners at
37:13
Speaker 5: the time, but everything was me and Tark doing everything
37:16
Speaker 5: pretty much, and I was like, I don't have marketing money.
37:20
Speaker 5: I'm just going to do this on my own, and
37:21
Speaker 5: so I was a little bit nervous. And then finally
37:24
Speaker 5: I'm like, let's go, let's just do it, and we
37:26
Speaker 5: sold out in two hours I'm sorry, two days.
37:29
Speaker 6: Wow.
37:29
Speaker 5: So that was like a huge, very exciting moment for me.
37:33
Speaker 5: But launching a business and running a business, it's NonStop.
37:37
Speaker 5: It's like twenty four to seven. And because I am
37:40
Speaker 5: such a perfectionist, I'm like on top of every single thing.
37:44
Speaker 5: It's hard to let control go. And it's such a
37:47
Speaker 5: baby brand still that I'm very involved with everything. But
37:50
Speaker 5: I have a really good team behind me, hard workers,
37:53
Speaker 5: positive people, like we're like a very strong team and
37:58
Speaker 5: we're all growing it together. But that's been a challenge.
38:01
Speaker 5: It's like I don't have any downtime because all my
38:04
Speaker 5: downtime is Heathery Essentials, Like I'm just that's all I'm
38:07
Speaker 5: working on now.
38:09
Speaker 4: I mean, that's so fun.
38:10
Speaker 2: Too. I mean, you've had so many different mediums in
38:12
Speaker 2: your work. So you worked on homes, which also is
38:15
Speaker 2: like there is an element of beauty and design, but
38:18
Speaker 2: then you take on your own your own line, you
38:22
Speaker 2: put your name on it. You're formulating it, like going
38:25
Speaker 2: to the labs and doing test And was there any
38:28
Speaker 2: point where you were like, just stop it, stop production.
38:32
Speaker 4: I'm not doing it. I'm staying with what I'm safe with.
38:35
Speaker 5: It was more after like everything was made, everything was ready,
38:38
Speaker 5: and I'm like, God, can I do this? And I
38:41
Speaker 5: think anyone that's like never launched a business like you
38:44
Speaker 5: and you're starting out like is is it going to
38:46
Speaker 5: be successful? And plus I have a name, right and
38:49
Speaker 5: like if it didn't do well, I'm like, that's embarrassing
38:51
Speaker 5: for me too. And so those are all like real
38:54
Speaker 5: thoughts that I was having. But at the same time,
38:56
Speaker 5: my husband, he's an entrepreneur. He is so incredible. He
39:01
Speaker 5: will get knocked down, he fights back and he's just
39:04
Speaker 5: it doesn't nothing bothers him, and where I'm like what
39:07
Speaker 5: is this, then He's like, that's an entrepreneur. Just go
39:10
Speaker 5: for it. And if we fall down, we get back
39:13
Speaker 5: up and we figure out like how to make it better,
39:15
Speaker 5: and we strategize and I'm like, you know what, Okay,
39:18
Speaker 5: let's do it then, and just having like that motivator
39:21
Speaker 5: where he's like, it's fine, whatever happens, happens, let's just go.
39:24
Speaker 5: So he kind of like pushed me to be like,
39:26
Speaker 5: let's just do it. And I pulled it together and
39:28
Speaker 5: we launched. Redid it with me. We launched and like
39:32
Speaker 5: I was like, let's go, and it was like what
39:34
Speaker 5: a week and we're like, let's go, and we did
39:36
Speaker 5: it and it all came together.
39:38
Speaker 2: I think it makes such a difference having someone who
39:42
Speaker 2: obviously knows you better than anyone else.
39:44
Speaker 4: Who's like, go for it. What's the worst.
39:47
Speaker 2: The worst thing that can happen is that you don't
39:48
Speaker 2: even try. Like the product is ready, so what it's
39:51
Speaker 2: just gonna go.
39:52
Speaker 5: To waste, It's gonna sit there expire, and then what Yeah.
39:54
Speaker 2: If you've already put the money and time into it,
39:56
Speaker 2: why wantn't you go for it?
39:58
Speaker 5: We sell ton, we sell tone, and we ended up
40:01
Speaker 5: selling thousands and thousands, and I was like, yay, thank god.
40:05
Speaker 2: What's your like long term goal for Heather Ray Essentials?
40:09
Speaker 5: I want to keep growing it. I have more products
40:12
Speaker 5: launching in April. So we launched three lip glosses so far,
40:16
Speaker 5: more products launching the end of April for Mother's Day.
40:19
Speaker 5: I'm not lip glosses, It'll be something else, and then
40:21
Speaker 5: I have another lip gloss i' launching for summer, and
40:24
Speaker 5: then I have more that are ready to go into production,
40:26
Speaker 5: and then I'm now planning, like what's next. It could
40:29
Speaker 5: take about a year to really, like once you have
40:32
Speaker 5: an idea, to come out with a formula and get
40:35
Speaker 5: everything ready. So I'm starting to plan that. But my
40:39
Speaker 5: goal is to grow it and just be bigger, make
40:41
Speaker 5: millions and millions hopefully, and just build relationships with my customers.
40:46
Speaker 5: And that's the most important to me, is the relationships.
40:48
Speaker 5: And if someone's not happy like that upsets me so much.
40:52
Speaker 5: Going back to my you know, but I want my
40:56
Speaker 5: fans and my customers to love what I put out.
40:58
Speaker 5: It's quality products, and that was really important to me.
41:01
Speaker 5: I could have just slapped my name on something and
41:03
Speaker 5: put it out there, but I wanted it to be
41:05
Speaker 5: mine and I wanted to like be every step of
41:08
Speaker 5: the way involved, and that's what I did. So I'm
41:10
Speaker 5: very proud of it.
41:11
Speaker 2: I love that I think people see, especially when there's
41:15
Speaker 2: a public figure's name attached to something, that they feel
41:19
Speaker 2: like it Some people do. I think they just here's
41:23
Speaker 2: my product with my name on it, and there's not
41:25
Speaker 2: as much intention behind it, I guess, But I do
41:29
Speaker 2: think there's that feeling when you do it yourself and
41:32
Speaker 2: you've put the work into it, and you know, you know,
41:35
Speaker 2: like the ingredients center in what you're putting out.
41:38
Speaker 4: It makes you feel proud when it especially when it
41:40
Speaker 4: does well.
41:41
Speaker 5: So proud. Yeah, yeah, I love that.
41:43
Speaker 2: Did you have a brand that you first of all,
41:46
Speaker 2: what made you want to do a beauty line? And
41:47
Speaker 2: second well, did you have a brand that you were like,
41:50
Speaker 2: I love how they're doing this.
41:53
Speaker 5: You know, I've really now that I've launched, I'm really
41:56
Speaker 5: looking at other brands and I'm I'm so proud of
42:01
Speaker 5: them because i know what it takes and I'm like, wow,
42:03
Speaker 5: like I'm so impressed by what they did and especially
42:06
Speaker 5: starting as like a small brand. And yes, I do
42:08
Speaker 5: have a name, but it's not like I have this
42:10
Speaker 5: like a ton of money like behind it. You know,
42:13
Speaker 5: it was a lot of it was just self funded.
42:15
Speaker 5: So summer Fridays, like I feel like, they did an
42:19
Speaker 5: incredible job starting with the one product and then really
42:23
Speaker 5: killing it on that one product, and now they've branched
42:25
Speaker 5: out with them and their marketing is so amazing. And
42:30
Speaker 5: I was using a lot of non toxic brands and
42:35
Speaker 5: I get sent a lot of stuff, you know, obviously,
42:36
Speaker 5: and I would like try things here and there, and
42:39
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't this consistency, the color, like,
42:43
Speaker 5: there's no scent to it, it smells, grows, Oh, it's so toxic.
42:46
Speaker 5: And so I started like really looking into things and
42:49
Speaker 5: ingredients and finding out that a lot of brands are
42:52
Speaker 5: not transparent with what they're using. And I was like
42:57
Speaker 5: trying ones that I really liked, and I'm like, Okay,
42:58
Speaker 5: well what are they doing? What don't I like about this?
43:01
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I really want to create my own wine,
43:03
Speaker 5: my beauty line. And I've always been passionate about like
43:07
Speaker 5: skincare and wellness and beauty, and I have my asthetation license,
43:10
Speaker 5: so I just was like very passionate about the beauty world.
43:14
Speaker 5: And then my old partner was like, oh, well, why
43:18
Speaker 5: don't we just white label? And it's not me because
43:22
Speaker 5: even when brands send me things or I get a
43:24
Speaker 5: brand deal from my agent, I'm like, I don't believe
43:27
Speaker 5: in that product. I can't post about it. So that's
43:29
Speaker 5: very much who I am. Even if they offer a
43:31
Speaker 5: great amount of money, I'm like, no, I just can't
43:33
Speaker 5: do that. I can't be fake with it. So I
43:35
Speaker 5: just wanted to be transparent with my consumers and put
43:38
Speaker 5: out something that they knew what they were putting on
43:41
Speaker 5: their body. And that was really important to me.
43:44
Speaker 4: I love that. I think it's really hard.
43:46
Speaker 2: I've had ideas of wanting to start beauty, hair care
43:50
Speaker 2: and beauty stuff, and it's so overwhelming to even know
43:54
Speaker 2: where to begin. So I am so impressed that you
43:57
Speaker 2: did that on top.
43:57
Speaker 3: Of all everything else.
43:59
Speaker 5: Thanks finding good people that can help you that are
44:03
Speaker 5: experts in that department, Like that's what I did. I
44:07
Speaker 5: had someone that was they had been working with a
44:09
Speaker 5: bunch of brands, they fulfilled other products, like they knew chemists,
44:13
Speaker 5: so you know, they helped me align everything. Because I'm
44:17
Speaker 5: not a chemist. I don't know you know, I don't
44:18
Speaker 5: know what ingredients go well together. I can I just
44:21
Speaker 5: know what I like. So it was like testing so
44:23
Speaker 5: many different consistencies and even the wand like the wand
44:27
Speaker 5: shape I have is you know, it's not like a
44:29
Speaker 5: normal wand shape. So it's like testing like so many
44:32
Speaker 5: wands and the packaging and the ingredients and the stickiness
44:36
Speaker 5: and the scent. It was like and I wanted the
44:38
Speaker 5: scent to be natural. I didn't want it to be synthetics.
44:41
Speaker 5: So it's just a flavor, vanilla flavor, and like finding
44:45
Speaker 5: the flavor that wasn't synthetic. It was just it was
44:48
Speaker 5: a lot of work, Yeah, but it was fun. It
44:50
Speaker 5: was a lot of work and then you see it
44:51
Speaker 5: all come together and it's so special.
44:53
Speaker 4: Well, I love it.
44:54
Speaker 5: I mean, thank you.
45:11
Speaker 4: Do you have any guilty pleasures? Are you a reality
45:14
Speaker 4: Do you like reality TV? Do you like script it?
45:16
Speaker 4: What's your yes? If you're just sitting down to relax,
45:19
Speaker 4: what are you going for?
45:20
Speaker 5: So my husband's out of town this weekend and I
45:23
Speaker 5: miss him, but it's also my time to like have
45:25
Speaker 5: like my girl time. Because when you get married or
45:28
Speaker 5: like you're in a relationship, right like at nights, a
45:30
Speaker 5: lot of the time you spend with your significant other,
45:32
Speaker 5: you don't really have a lot of girl time. And
45:35
Speaker 5: so I'm gonna watch I love the Kardashians and do
45:39
Speaker 5: my face masks. And then I'm watching Housewives of Beverly
45:44
Speaker 5: Hills and I was just telling Bree, like I want
45:48
Speaker 5: to get into like Love Island, but they're also young.
45:51
Speaker 5: I don't know if I can, are you.
45:53
Speaker 1: I've watched almost watch Love Island UK season five is
45:58
Speaker 1: a great one to start if you're like just starting
46:01
Speaker 1: because it's like just really really good.
46:04
Speaker 3: Love Island UK Season.
46:05
Speaker 5: Eight is also fantastic, So five and eight, five and
46:08
Speaker 5: eight in the UK, okay, and then.
46:12
Speaker 3: USA the last one that just aired. I don't know
46:13
Speaker 3: what season it.
46:14
Speaker 2: Was, three or two, two or four.
46:17
Speaker 3: I don't know.
46:18
Speaker 1: The last season of USA that just aired is also
46:20
Speaker 1: fantastic television.
46:21
Speaker 3: But I'd start with one of those three.
46:23
Speaker 2: Okay, But I will say she's been trying to me
46:25
Speaker 2: watch it forever, and she said to UK season five.
46:28
Speaker 2: I tried to watch it three times, like I had
46:30
Speaker 2: to restart three.
46:30
Speaker 4: Times because I couldn't get into it.
46:32
Speaker 3: I feel like Heather and.
46:33
Speaker 5: I, yeah, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna tell you, yeah. Yeah.
46:37
Speaker 1: I mean it's a it's an investment because it's like
46:40
Speaker 1: sixty something episodes.
46:43
Speaker 3: It's a lot, but like it's easy TV.
46:44
Speaker 1: So it's like you can watch it in the background
46:46
Speaker 1: and like you can go rush your teeth, you can
46:48
Speaker 1: put a fit. You don't have to be like you
46:49
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you have to pay ten so
46:51
Speaker 1: much attention. Yeah, it is amazing. Yeah, yeah, I love reality.
46:57
Speaker 5: I stopped watching Selling Sunset, not because of any reason,
47:02
Speaker 5: but I was like, I'm not on it anymore. But
47:04
Speaker 5: I love reality. I love the Kardashians.
47:06
Speaker 7: I do Wait, it was your favorite of the kardashianss
47:09
Speaker 7: Oh gosh, I say Chloe. Yeah, yeah, she's just like
47:14
Speaker 7: they're all like great, but I love what.
47:17
Speaker 5: Kind of mom she is. She just has good energy
47:19
Speaker 5: and good vibes.
47:21
Speaker 2: I was thinking, So, when was Selling Sunset your first
47:24
Speaker 2: time being on TV.
47:26
Speaker 5: Yeah. I had done modeling and I had done some acting,
47:28
Speaker 5: like had acting roles, but it was my first time
47:30
Speaker 5: doing reality. And I had no idea, like no idea
47:33
Speaker 5: what I was doing because I'm not like a calculated
47:35
Speaker 5: like a lot of reality stars. I feel like they're
47:37
Speaker 5: very calculated, and I was like, I'm not calculated person
47:41
Speaker 5: at all, and I just kind of went into it.
47:43
Speaker 5: I was just myself and it was Yeah, it was crazy.
47:47
Speaker 2: Was it hard or weird to watch herself on TV
47:51
Speaker 2: or I guess if you were in the acting world
47:53
Speaker 2: and modeling world, you re used to seeing your face.
47:55
Speaker 2: But but I was on The Bachelor like years ago,
47:58
Speaker 2: and I could bear watch the episodes that I was on.
48:02
Speaker 5: I think for me it was like a teaching moment
48:04
Speaker 5: because especially now with the flip off and the flipping
48:06
Speaker 5: al musas, It's like, I like to watch myself because
48:09
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I could have done better talking about
48:14
Speaker 5: what I was doing to the house, or I could
48:15
Speaker 5: have done better explaining to the audience, because you know,
48:18
Speaker 5: we're teaching. That's good that, Yeah, I need more of
48:22
Speaker 5: that because I'm like, I learned from myself, so I'm
48:28
Speaker 5: like I could do better, like I could be better.
48:30
Speaker 5: And so I like watching myself back because I know
48:33
Speaker 5: I can improve myself because I take it very serious.
48:36
Speaker 5: I love being on TV and I'm so grateful for
48:39
Speaker 5: the opportunity of that I've been given, and I love
48:42
Speaker 5: what I do. So I just I enjoy watching myself
48:45
Speaker 5: and I love seeing my husband and I film together.
48:47
Speaker 5: It's I think we make great TV. I really do,
48:50
Speaker 5: and it's not easy to do bring two different people
48:53
Speaker 5: together and make really good TV. And then you know,
48:55
Speaker 5: add Christina and like, we our show is so good
48:58
Speaker 5: and I'm so proud of it that I I was
49:00
Speaker 5: so excited to watch it selling Sunset. I wasn't a
49:03
Speaker 5: co producer. We don't really know what's going to be
49:05
Speaker 5: put out there. There was a lot of times that,
49:10
Speaker 5: you know, things happen. I'm like, h what happened like that?
49:12
Speaker 5: You know, So there's a lot that you don't have
49:16
Speaker 5: control of and it's very nerve wracking, where my show
49:19
Speaker 5: I have a lot more control.
49:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a relief.
49:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, I imagine My last question for you.
49:24
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've seen the trend where.
49:25
Speaker 2: People like, like, what would you tell your younger self?
49:28
Speaker 5: Oh, what would you tell the coffee?
49:31
Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's the concept. Yeah, what would you
49:33
Speaker 2: tell sixteen year old Heather?
49:36
Speaker 5: I would probably tell her stop worrying so much and
49:41
Speaker 5: everything will come together.
49:43
Speaker 4: Were you a warrior?
49:45
Speaker 5: I'm a warrior. I still am. My dad's a worrier. Okay, yeah,
49:48
Speaker 5: I'm like I just am. I'm like a preparer. I'm
49:50
Speaker 5: a warrior. I'm you know, that's just who I am.
49:52
Speaker 4: Are you are you? Do you have siblings? I have
49:54
Speaker 4: a sister older, younger.
49:56
Speaker 5: Older, Okay, yeah we're very different.
49:58
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah second young is child you give older child.
50:02
Speaker 5: And yeah, I'm like, I'm like a mom mom.
50:07
Speaker 4: Yeah you've always been a mom before you even were mom. Yeah.
50:09
Speaker 5: I want to be like free and chill and like whatever.
50:12
Speaker 5: I'm just not that person.
50:13
Speaker 4: That's okay.
50:14
Speaker 5: I think acknowledges that I'm just not like I just
50:16
Speaker 5: I am who I am.
50:17
Speaker 3: I can't think acknowledging.
50:19
Speaker 4: That is the freedom.
50:20
Speaker 5: Yeah, for true I like that.
50:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, where can people follow you and see content and
50:25
Speaker 2: all the things that you're doing?
50:27
Speaker 5: Yes, okay, let me try to remember. So I'm for Instagram,
50:30
Speaker 5: I'm the Heather rail Musa. My TikTok is Heather rail Musa,
50:36
Speaker 5: Heather just Heather rail Musa, and then Heather I Essentials
50:39
Speaker 5: is Heather I Essentials, and then on TikTok it's Heather
50:42
Speaker 5: dot ray dot Essentials.
50:44
Speaker 4: Perfect. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you
50:48
Speaker 4: so much opening up and being vulnerable.
50:50
Speaker 5: We so appreciate It's very fun.
50:52
Speaker 3: Thank you,