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The longer you stay with a narcissist the more you start to act like them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about what could happen to you the longer
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  you stay in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to episode 976 of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Did y'all see what I needed there?
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  I added the episode number to the top of the episode so you
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  know how far we are. We're so close to 1000 episodes.
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  I can't believe y'all. I have 1000 episodes of The
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  Narcissist Code. That is insane to me.
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  Thank y'all for riding this journey along with me.
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  All the positive reviews and whatnot.
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  But seriously, thank you. So topic at hand.
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  The long What happens to you, the longer you stay in a toxic
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  relationship with a narcissist, Like, yeah, the main thing that
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  happens to you is that you pick up narcissistic fleas.
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  We all know that you lose. Like when you go through a
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  relationship with a narcissist, you lose your identity, you lose
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  your typically you lose your bodily autonomy, your emotional
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  autonomy, your your support system.
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  A lot of that stuff starts to go.
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  But the longer you stay in that spot, the more likely you are to
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  start to behave and act like them.
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  Like the longer you stay with a narcissist or a toxic
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  relationship, the more likely you are to start to behave like
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  them. It's just yeah, sometimes it's
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  just the person you're with. You know how sometimes people
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  say the longer you, you put somebody in a long term
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  relationship and the you're with somebody in a long term
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  relationship, right. And the main thing that y'all
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  start to look alike when you're in a happy relationship, y'all
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  been together so long, you're so happy, y'all actually start to
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  kind of look alike. The same thing could happen with
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  your behaviors. You saw what it acting like, and
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  sometimes that could muddy the waters of who you think you are.
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  Like I said, you already lose your identity and your autonomy,
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  like a lot of the autonomy over yourself and your thought
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  process and things like that. But you also lose track of your
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  identity and then you start to act like them.
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  I'm not saying you become a bad person, but sometimes you start
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  exhibiting toxic qualities and toxic traits.
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  The narcissistic fleas. If you don't know what a
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  narcissistic flea is, it's when, it's when you start to pick up
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  behaviour. So you know how fleas jump off
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  of dogs Like we lay with dogs. You get you lay with a dog that
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  has fleas or an animal that has fleas.
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  You get fleas. Like you got an indoor outdoor
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  cat and you don't have, you don't put that flea ointment on
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  them and they come back in the house and fleas.
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  Just be jumping through the house.
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  That's what happens. Like the longer you stay, the
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  longer you keep that pet in there, the more you get the
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  fleas, the more you get the behaviors.
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  So in this situation right here, narcissistic fleas are the toxic
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  behaviors, right? They're the toxic narcissistic
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  traits that that narcissist possesses.
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  So if I if a flea bites, that narcissist and it you know how
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  fleas can jump. Like how if a flea was a person
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  it would have like a 17 foot vertical leap, They jump from
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  that narcissist after biting them and they bite you.
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  They transmit the the the, they transmit the toxicity.
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  You know, it's like flea, transmitted toxicity.
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  Oh FTT. Flea transmitted toxicity,
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  Narcissistic Flea transmitted toxicity, NFTT.
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  Not like an NFT, but that's what happens.
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  Y'all. You might start to act like
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  them. You might catch yourself lying.
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  You might catch yourself being manipulative.
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  I'm not saying you might you. I don't know how you can lead to
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  you cheating, but somehow you might end up cheating.
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  You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying?
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  I do. I talk to people.
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  Y'all I want to do my one on ones.
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  I do talk to certain people who cheat on the narcissists.
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  Like I've been cheating on so long and I've been healing and
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  I've been cheating on 2530 times and I just went out one night so
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  angry and I end up sleeping with somebody else and I feel so bad.
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  And I told them and now I'm getting punished for cheating
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  one time when they've cheated 30.
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  You see what I'm saying? Now I feel like the bad person.
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  They've convinced me. Now I'm a bad person.
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  They convinced me that I'm a whore.
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  Then I'm just worthless. I'm useless.
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  And people just, like, they started to be treating me worse
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  when I started to act like them. And I have a longer video on
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  what happens, like when you feed a narcissist a taste of their
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  own medicine. When you start treating a
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  narcissist the same way they treat you, they typically don't
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  like it. Y'all.
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  They typically start to fight back and start to become more
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  aggressive towards you. You know, when you match a
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  narcissist's energy, sometimes do they back down?
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  Sometimes, yeah, they might back down.
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  But sometimes they start to get angrier and angrier.
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  They become more aggressive. They become more apt to try to
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  hurt you or try to do things like that because they they do
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  stuff like that to try to, you know, do a lot of different
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  things to you. They want to cause you harm.
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  They want to cause you distress. They want to cause you pain and
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  suffering and things like that, because you're doing the same
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  thing to them. And that's why I just say y'all.
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  The longer you stay with somebody like this, the more you
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  start to act like them. And it could be y'all, It could
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  be a defense mechanism. It's not that your intent is to
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  be bad, but could be a defense mechanism.
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  You might start telling lies to defend yourself.
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  If I tell my partner, if I tell my narcissistic partner the
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  truth, that I'm going to my mom's house and they hate my
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  mom, they're going to stop stop me.
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  They they're going to try to stop me from going to see my
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  mom. So hey, hey, babe.
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  Where you going? I'm going to go to the gym for a
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  little bit, but you're really going to your mom's house.
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  You told a little lie because you know that you're going to
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  get in trouble if you told the truth.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's a defense mechanism.
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  Is it still a lie? Yes, it's absolutely still a
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  lie, but it's a defense mechanism.
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  You see what I'm saying? But, like, do you really?
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  That's why I ask people, do you really want to live your life
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  like this? You know, I'm not.
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  Again, I don't tell people to leave the toxic relationship.
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  I just provided you the tips, and I'm providing you the
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  information necessary for you to make your own conscientious
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  decision to whether or not you want to do that, you know?
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  So I'm just telling people, I'm just like, look, do you want to
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  behave like this? Is this who you really see
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  yourself as? You know, like, do you want to
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  be a liar? Do you want to see yourself as
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  manipulative? Do you want to continue to see
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  yourself in this certain light right here?
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  How does this serve you? You know, how does it serve you?
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  I like Leah. I kind of like matching their
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  energy. Yeah, you see y'all.
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  Sometimes it's fun when they've been doing some stuff to you for
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  a long time and you finally like, you know what I'm going to
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  get my I'm going to give you some get back.
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  Now you want to start? Look, now you sort of get riled
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  up. Now you start to get riled up.
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  Now you start to feeling power. Now you start to feel a certain
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  type of way. You know what I mean?
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  That happens. That really does happen within
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  that space right there, within that dynamic.
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  That's what I tell people, Like the more you around and the more
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  you like, I'm saying, you start itching.
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  You start itching around that narcissistic person like you, a
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  fiend you like. Oh, I'm itching.
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  I'm itchy. It's the fleas biting you.
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  It's the fleas biting you. You might catch yourself
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  starting to gas like, started to manipulate, started to tell
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  bigger lies you like. Oh my goodness, you'll walk away
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  like damn why? Why not lie right there?
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  You've started to find yourself blame deflecting.
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  You're starting to find yourself avoiding accountability.
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  You're going to look like a little mini narcissist.
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  Y'all I'm not talking about height or stature wise, I'm
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  talking about behaviour wise. They are full grown.
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  You know, a full grown narcissist.
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  You are going to start to look like a little miniature version
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  of a toxic narcissistic person. And I know a lot of people can.
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  A lot of people will attest to this because like like Lee, I
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  started acting like that. Matter of fact, I got this
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  video. I got the video I did from my my
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  comment section. Somebody left the comment and
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  just like Lee, I found myself acting like them.
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  And I just, I hate myself now. And there was comments
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  underneath it. I think it was on Facebook.
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  There was comments underneath it, like same girl, same.
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  I can't believe I've never done this before.
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  And some people, some people like when you get into these
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  social relationships and you might start to behave a little,
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  you might start exhibiting a little toxicity.
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  Narcissist tend to be very intuitive.
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  They're going to pick up on your toxicity and they're going to
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  point it out. You see what I'm saying?
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  They're going to point your toxicity out.
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  But this was like like Lee, it has me thinking to myself, I
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  I'm, I feel like I'm the toxic one.
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  So I tell people right here in this state, in this space, right
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  here, I tell people, go back into your past relationship.
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  If this is not your first relationship, go back to your
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  past relationships and ask yourself, be truthful with
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  yourself. Have you always been a been a
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  liar? Have you always been
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  manipulative? Have you always been a
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  gaslighter or toxic? Or is it just in this
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  relationship with this person because you've been with this
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  person for a long time? Be truthful.
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  Lying to yourself doesn't help right here because sometimes you
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  might actually see that, like, yeah, I've been lying here and
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  there you might, you can realize that you can go to therapy.
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  You can kind of give yourself a little narcissistic flea bath to
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  start to wash yourself of the toxic trace, you know, to rent
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  to rinse off the toxic trace just like taking like a little
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  shower. You know, it's like rinsing it
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  off, you're like oh I'm clean again.
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  You see what I'm saying? That was that that that's what
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  can help you out right there in that space within that dynamic.
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  You know, so I'm telling you like sometimes it helps to get
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  away from it so you can feel healthier, so you can feel
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  better about yourself. I'm not saying to to the voices
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  person, I'm not saying to be separated.
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  I'm just saying sometimes it helps to get the you can give
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  yourself. You can start to give yourself
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  little mini flea baths by giving giving yourself more self love.
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  Give you more self, more self appreciation.
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  I'll give yourself more self. You know what I mean give you
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  you know give treating your treating yourself better, give
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  yourself better treatments, better behaviors.
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  Like I I've got got myself love journal that's available on
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  Amazon. Lee Hammock.
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  I love me a self love journal to help people out and like
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  understand the self love dynamic to understand the mindset, the
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  mentality that goes into loving yourself more.
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  You can start the rinse the traits off right now.
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  You can start the Ritz off the fleas right now.
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  The behaviors right now by loving yourself more and re
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  establishing your own identity. Because like I said in the
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  beginning, that's one of the first things to go.
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  When you lose your identity you start to assimilate theorists.
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  Possibly you might start to mirror them.
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  You might. You know at the beginning.
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  You know at the beginning. Narcissistic robot talking too
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  fast? Slow down.
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  You know, too slow. You know at the, you know at the
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  beginning of a relationship, right?
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  The narcissist is typically mirroring you.
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  As a relationship progresses, you might actually start to
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  mirror them because you have lost your identity at the
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  beginning of a relationship with a narcissist.
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  They lack identity, right? But then they start to be
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  themselves and they take their mask off.
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  So they mirror you in the beginning.
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  While you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you lose your
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  identity. So you start to assimilate
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  theirs. You start to take on their
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  traits. You start to mirror them.
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  Oh, my goodness. I just came up without the top
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  of my head. yo-yo, that might be is that?
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  Have y'all heard that before? That might be.
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  Is that groundbreaking? Wait a minute.
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  Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
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  Wait a minute. Yes, I say wait a minute.
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  I ain't say wait a minute. I say wait a minute.
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  It's my vernacular. Hey y'all, going to drop it.
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  Y'all. Look, you have to drop a fire
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  emoji to the chat for that one right there.
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  Because I just came about. Look, I don't have a yeah, I
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  don't have a script. I just write down the title of
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  the video and I just go with it. You see right here it says the
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  longer you stay with the narcissist, the more you act
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  like them. That's that's literally, I just
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  put a sentence down and this video is based off of 1
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  sentence. I just start talking, you know?
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  I think about it first when I start talking but I was like
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  y'all I'm going to look into that.
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  Anyways, y'all it's time for a narcissistic flea bath.
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  Check out the self love journal that's on Amazon.
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  And if y'all, like I said, my kids book is also available on
• 11:51
  Amazon as well. If y'all have the kids book if
• 11:53
  you bought the kids book. Thank you so much.
• 11:55
  Make sure to hit a five star review on that for me.
• 11:57
  If you if you if you don't mind, somebody just left a one star
• 12:00
  review on Amazon because Amazon sent them a defective copy of
• 12:04
  the book. They left a one star review on
• 12:05
  my book. I was like what?
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  And there's nothing I can do about that.
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  So it sucks. But if you like the book hit
• 12:12
  five stars, remember it's not your fault.
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  Available on Amazon, of course, Like and subscribe to the video
• 12:17
  you haven't already. Like and subscribe to the
• 12:19
  channel. We're so close to 400 K I'm 400
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  Cray 400K. Yeah.
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  If I hit 400 K, I'm going to go Cray.
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  Thank you all so much. This is out.
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  Please thank you so much for making it to the end of my
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  video. You are a mental illness
• 12:31
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 12:35
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 12:38
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 12:41
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 12:43
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 12:46
  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.