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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: I Have to Get Something Off of My Chest · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Hay Hurdlers.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Emily a body here chiming in for five Minute Friday
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: from Hurdle.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Y'all know the drill. On five Minute.
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  Speaker 2: Friday, I share a story, I offer a prompt, and
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  Speaker 2: then I break things down in my Highlights of the week,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: the things that I am loving, content picks, charities, humans,
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  Speaker 2: you know. This week for five Minute Friday, I am
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  Speaker 2: talking about something that's been popping up in my dms
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  Speaker 2: a lot on Instagram, and that is comments about my looks.
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  Speaker 2: Not just you know, you're so pretty or something like that. No,
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  Speaker 2: that's not what I'm here to talk about. What I'm
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  Speaker 2: here to talk about is a frequently to comment I'm
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  Speaker 2: getting lately on my size and my muscle tone and
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  Speaker 2: things of that nature. And it's interesting, right because when
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  Speaker 2: I look back on the last few months, I have
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  Speaker 2: had quite the time. I mean back on April tenth,
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  Speaker 2: if I scrolled through my Instagram, that's when I posted
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  Speaker 2: this what felt like really vulnerable post talking about how
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  Speaker 2: many times I had been going to the fridge on
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  Speaker 2: the regular. And I think the day that I put
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  Speaker 2: up that post, I had counted fourteen different times that
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  Speaker 2: I walked into my kitchen to look for something to eat.
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  Speaker 2: And at the time, I was really struggling, right, I
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  Speaker 2: felt really helpless. It was at the beginning or toward
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  Speaker 2: the beginning of the entire coronavirus situation. We were all
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  Speaker 2: told to stay at home as much as possible. My
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  Speaker 2: routine was completely out of whack. I wasn't running because
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  Speaker 2: my hip was really painful. I was crying sporadically at
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  Speaker 2: my desk. I mean, things felt like they were at
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: a low point, for sure. And in that post I
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  Speaker 2: wrote something like, I don't think that I'm failing by
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  Speaker 2: going to the kitchen constantly, but I would be lying
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  Speaker 2: if I didn't acknowledge that I think this looking for
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  Speaker 2: something when it comes to food and beverage. It's me
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  Speaker 2: trying to cope with things that I'm not confronting on
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  Speaker 2: a personal level. And I mean I was dealing with
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  Speaker 2: a lot my self talk was awful, and I remember
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  Speaker 2: shortly after putting up that post, I braved the scale
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  Speaker 2: for the first time in a long time, as if
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  Speaker 2: it felt like I was back in college and I
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  Speaker 2: was about to get out of the scale and confront
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  Speaker 2: something that felt like a little bit bigger than me.
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  Speaker 2: And although the number that I saw when I stepped
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  Speaker 2: on the scale that day wasn't anything near what I
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  Speaker 2: saw in college. The feelings I felt around this experience,
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  Speaker 2: they were very, very similar, and I knew that I
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  Speaker 2: really needed to do a personal audit of sorts, and
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  Speaker 2: so the audit it wasn't rooted in changing that number,
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  Speaker 2: although I definitely expected that to be a byproduct of
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  Speaker 2: the work that I knew I had to do. But
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  Speaker 2: my goal was really just to find my happy again.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not the kind of person that just like wallows
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  Speaker 2: and being upset, and for a few weeks at that point,
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  Speaker 2: I almost accepted this feeling of subpar as normal and
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  Speaker 2: that's just not what I'm about. I knew I wanted
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  Speaker 2: to get back to a place of feeling proud of me,
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  Speaker 2: a place of feeling more at home in my mind
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  Speaker 2: and in my body, and I wanted to feel empowered,
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  Speaker 2: and I wanted to feel confident. And so it started
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  Speaker 2: with honestly a lot of letting go, primarily of the
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  Speaker 2: frustration over the things that I couldn't change. I stopped
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  Speaker 2: seeking comfort in the wrong relationships. I made it a
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  Speaker 2: point to get to bed earlier. I stopped setting an
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  Speaker 2: alarm the morning. I stuck with my regular journaling practice,
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  Speaker 2: and each and every single journal entry with something that
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  Speaker 2: I was grateful for that happened in the last twenty
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  Speaker 2: four hours.
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  Speaker 1: Let's see here.
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  Speaker 2: I started moving more regularly, even if that didn't mean
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  Speaker 2: that I got to get up and run. It just
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  Speaker 2: meant that I would move some way each and every
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  Speaker 2: day in a way that felt good for my body.
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  Speaker 2: I focused on a strength routine that would help me
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  Speaker 2: get back to a place where I could run again.
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  Speaker 2: And I also started to make regular like dates with
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  Speaker 2: friends and family on Zoom and FaceTime that I could
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  Speaker 2: look forward to, just like in the good old days
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  Speaker 2: when you could go down to Bar Premi and see
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  Speaker 2: one of my best friends.
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  Speaker 1: And just relish in the feeling.
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  Speaker 2: Anyway, I did a lot right, Like that's a lot
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  Speaker 2: of stuff, but it all just felt really, really right.
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  Speaker 2: And I remember about a month later, at the beginning
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  Speaker 2: of May, I woke up after one particular night of
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  Speaker 2: like nine and a half hours of sleep or something,
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  Speaker 2: and I felt great, like noticeably great, and I felt
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  Speaker 2: light and like I could breathe holy. And I remember
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  Speaker 2: that I went to my journal and I wrote down
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  Speaker 2: something like I feel better and more open with every
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  Speaker 2: day as I invest in myself, which is like pretty
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  Speaker 2: bold and strong wording for when this journal usually happens
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  Speaker 2: at like six point thirty in the morning. Anyway, fast
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  Speaker 2: forward to a few days ago. I've been, you know,
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  Speaker 2: still doing this work, still taking the time for myself,
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  Speaker 2: listening to me. It's early in the morning, I post
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  Speaker 2: my shoe tying Instagram. I'm getting ready to head out
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  Speaker 2: the door, and I get a DM from someone and
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  Speaker 2: it's like six point fifty in the morning, and the
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  Speaker 2: DM says, what have you been doing for your arms
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  Speaker 2: in quarantine?
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  Speaker 1: You look so toned? That's my impression voice.
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  Speaker 2: I know that this person wasn't trying to I'm sure
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  Speaker 2: they I'm sure they just they don't actually sound.
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  Speaker 1: Like this at all.
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  Speaker 2: Here's the thing, this isn't the first message that I
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  Speaker 2: have received over the past few weeks along these lines.
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  Speaker 2: And they're coming from people that I do know, friends
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  Speaker 2: that are commenting on my appearance. And then they're coming
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  Speaker 2: from you know, people that I don't even know, of course,
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  Speaker 2: via social media.
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  Speaker 1: I won't lie.
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  Speaker 2: The external validation certainly feels like a drug, for lack
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  Speaker 2: of a better comparison, at times, it encourages me almost
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  Speaker 2: to like do things that I wouldn't do otherwise. You know,
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  Speaker 2: I'm not sitting here lifting the dumbbells that are sitting
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  Speaker 2: next to my television. In fact, I can't remember the
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  Speaker 2: last time I touched.
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  Speaker 1: One of those.
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  Speaker 2: What I what I am doing, and what I want
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  Speaker 2: to bring up every single time that one of these
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  Speaker 2: messages comes through is like this outer change is.
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  Speaker 1: The result of a lot of inner work. Right.
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  Speaker 2: So many of the things that make me really proud
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  Speaker 2: like I'm doing something right, those are the things that
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  Speaker 2: I want to talk about. I mean, let's please talk
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  Speaker 2: about finally taking the time to strengthen my body instead
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  Speaker 2: of just running it into the ground, or me exercising
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  Speaker 2: because it feels good, not because I'm trying to combat
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  Speaker 2: quote unquote poor eating habits or being more intuitive with
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  Speaker 2: those eating habits. God, having hard conversations with myself, hard
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  Speaker 2: conversations with others that I've shied away from before, setting
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  Speaker 2: boundaries and understanding that these boundaries are not selfish, maintaining
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  Speaker 2: regular therapy appointments.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, there's so much.
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  Speaker 2: Work happening here, and so I guess what I'm trying
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  Speaker 2: to say here is that I want you, the hurdlers,
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  Speaker 2: I want the people that are sending the messages to
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  Speaker 2: know that what's happening here is bigger than what's on
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  Speaker 2: the outside. And it's not that I don't appreciate my arms,
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  Speaker 2: my strong arms, but to be honest, again, I don't
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  Speaker 2: have much to say about them. But I can tell
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  Speaker 2: you about all of the other stuff, the important stuff.
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  Speaker 2: I can tell you that when you take the time
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  Speaker 2: to work on what's on the inside, then that's when
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  Speaker 2: the real you shines through. And I would argue that
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  Speaker 2: the energy that you're seeing from me lately, that's the
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: good stuff. I'm proud of my strong heart. I'm proud
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  Speaker 2: that I am in this continuously an ever evolving chapter
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  Speaker 2: of self love. I'm proud of all the work that
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  Speaker 2: enables me to show up during the hard times. And
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  Speaker 2: trust me, I mean there are always going to be
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  Speaker 2: those moments where I'm still crying at my desk in
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  Speaker 2: the middle of the day. And I will always talk
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  Speaker 2: to you about all of the things. But what I
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  Speaker 2: really want.
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  Speaker 1: To talk to you about.
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  Speaker 2: It's got nothing to do with my arms. So my
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  Speaker 2: prompt for you this week, what is one thing you
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  Speaker 2: have been working on that no one knows about in
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  Speaker 2: the work that you're doing personally, What is one stride
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  Speaker 2: that makes you proud? What can you reflect on from
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  Speaker 2: the past few months that you've been working on to
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  Speaker 2: be a better you that has nothing to do with
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  Speaker 2: the physical Highlights of the week and links to all
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: of these highlights can be found in the show notes.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: By now, you have probably seen Emmanuel acchos videos Uncomfortable
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Conversations with a Black Man on your social feed and
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: what I love about Acho's approach I was thinking about
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: this as I was washing my face last night.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Is I love his analogies.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I mean, every time I get on my bicycle, I
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: think about the on your left one he made in
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: his first episode and this week's episode, episode three, he
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: sits down with Chip and Joanna Gaines as well as
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: they're cute kids to talk about a lot of uncomfortable stuff.
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  Speaker 2: I love when one of the Gaines children asks him
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: if he is afraid of white people, and his answer
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  Speaker 2: to this involves an analogy, talking about water and electricity
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  Speaker 2: and that he feels sometimes like he has to be cautious,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: saying both are necessary for life. But if water and
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: electricity have a negative interaction. It can be lethal. Definitely
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: check those videos out. Last week in the Weekly Hurdle Newsletter,
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I highlighted some of my favorite pairs of shorts for running,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: and this week I am highlighting some of my favorite
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: sports bras a question I get asked all of the time.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Links to all three of those, including the under Armour mid,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: the Lululumit Energy Bra, and the Nike Swoosh Sports Bra,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: are in the show notes. I know you're wondering why
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: these three As someone that's not the biggest girl on top,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: they're supportive for everything from literally running a marathon to
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: doing downward dog in my living room, and that is
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: my litmus test. Something else for you to check out
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: this week, definitely give Nicole Cardoza's Anti racism daily newsletter
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: a Lookxi. Just like your yoga practice, anti racism work,
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  Speaker 2: it involves diligent work and Nicole Cardoza she's the founder
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  Speaker 2: of both Yoga Foster as well as Reclamation Ventures.
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  Speaker 1: She wants to give us all a helping hand to
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: do that work.
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  Speaker 2: This was brought to my attention by one of you,
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  Speaker 2: the Hurtlers, so thank you so much for the highlight.
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  Speaker 2: I can't wait to check it out myself. Something else
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: worth highlighting. Pick up Please, free donation pick up. I
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: am so one of those people that usually is like
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: bringing at least one bag a month to the Goodwill
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: on the next block for me, and to my knowledge,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Goodwill centers around the country have been closed for some
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  Speaker 2: time now because of the coronavirus pandemic.
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  Speaker 1: So this pickup.
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  Speaker 2: Please donation is supported by the Vietnam Veterans of America.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I found it googling this week and they will send
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: you a free ups shipping label so that you can
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: send your goods off to them. And all of these
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: donations go to benefiting or veterans, which I think is
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: an excellent cause. And this way you're doing something with
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: your lightly used goods that is productive. Second to last
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: pick of this week. You heard me talk about it
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: on the show on Monday. It's the one Million Miles
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: for Justice with Black Girls Run Challenge.
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  Speaker 1: I'm so amped to.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Report back to you guys that more than one hundred
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: hurdlers have signed up to join Team Hurdlers for this challenge.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Each person that joins pledges at least twenty five dollars
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: and then as you run or walk or bike or
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: however you move throughout the month, go into your account
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: on the site again linked in the show notes, and
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: log your mileage. The goal is that together, not only
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: will we raise funds and awareness, but we will also
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: be able to move together. The password to join our
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: team if you are interested is Hurdle Moment.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I would love, love, love to have you.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And one last note on this, the challenge goes through
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: July fifteenth, so if you're a little hesitant, you've got
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: some time to get in on the action. And the
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: last highlight of the week it goes to all of
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: the fathers out there. Father's Day on deck this Sunday.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I personally am so so grateful for my dad. Bob.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: You are a one of a kind guy. Literally my
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: best friend, my confidant. I can talk to you about anything.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: I truly believe that not only is my life better
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: because of you, but the world is better because of you.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Happy Father's Day to you and yours. As always, Please,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: if you love what you're listening to, make sure to
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: pass this episode of Five Minute Friday along to a friend.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Click on into the show notes, subscribe to the Weekly Hurdle.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Also rate and review the podcast in the iTunes store
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: and hit me up on social. It's at Emily Body
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast, Another hurdle conquered.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.