Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 28- What Is Child-Centred Play Therapy- And How Does It Help My Child?

Transcript

Episode 28- What Is Child-Centred Play Therapy- And How Does It Help My Child? · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:45
This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
0:53
and what it means to show up with presence and compassion
0:57
both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hey everyone, and welcome back
1:13
to the Play Therapy Circle podcast.
1:15
I'm your host, Kylie Ellison and I am so glad you are here.
1:21
Hello everyone, happy Tuesday. For any of you who've been
1:25
following along, you know that I am trying to commit to doing
1:32
this earlier in the week so that I can get organised.
1:35
So I am super grateful that I have done it this week because
1:41
it's a new week. How are all of you doing?
1:43
How you doing? How is your week going?
1:47
How are you travelling in the playroom?
1:49
I had 6 client sessions today in the playroom, so I had the
1:54
opportunity to connect with six beautiful, incredible kids in
1:59
the playroom. So I have had a fantastic day
2:02
and I think it's a really good day for me to be doing a podcast
2:04
episode when the playroom is fresh in my mind in terms of my
2:09
appreciation and deep gratitude for what I do each and every
2:14
day. I often say to myself, I can't
2:16
believe this is my job, that I genuinely get to sit and connect
2:20
and not only just sit and connect, but really be able to
2:24
use all of my skills in CCPT. But more importantly than
2:27
anything else, the connection and relationship that I get to
2:31
build with each of the clients that I work with and their
2:33
families is so special, so special.
2:36
So I'm so grateful. Hey, as some of you may know who
2:40
follow me along in my podcast journey so far to date, the
2:47
episodes have been very much focused on helping support our
2:51
play therapists and our play therapy community.
2:54
So in light of it being January 2026, in light of it being a
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couple of weeks before all of our kids in Brisbane go back to
3:04
school because we are approaching that returning to
3:08
school period of the start of the year, I wanted to do a few
3:13
episodes. So I'm going to call it a mini
3:15
series. I really probably should have
3:18
thought this through more. I'm really kind of talking on
3:20
the fly here, but I have some topics that I would like to do
3:25
that relate to helping therapists explain play therapy
3:29
to potentially new families or current families.
3:32
Why I'm saying that is often for many play therapists and I'm
3:36
talking again to Brisbane. I want to clarify the context of
3:41
the information. I'm about to provide that at the
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start of the year in January, the end of January, our kids go
3:49
back to school. So it's often a time for private
3:53
practise and for play therapists to either start new clients
3:57
where you might have finished over just before Christmas and
4:00
then had the Christmas New Year break and now you're receiving
4:04
referrals in your practise for the start of the year.
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There will often be referrals that we will receive once kids
4:10
start school and maybe you're having trouble or difficulties.
4:13
So I wanted to have some topics, some episodes that would be able
4:19
to be shared with parents or that parents would be able to
4:21
listen along to that will just support understanding and help
4:29
spread the word about child Centre play therapy and help
4:32
support both our parents and our therapist.
4:34
So if you are a parent joining the podcast and listening to
4:39
this episode, welcome. Welcome.
4:42
It is so lovely to have you. We are so incredibly supportive
4:48
and inclusive in our play Therapy Circle community because
4:52
we acknowledge that play therapy lives everywhere and that we
4:55
have so many incredible play therapists and supporters and
4:59
parents and families out there. So if you are joining as a
5:03
parent, you are so so welcome here.
5:06
I want to spend today's episode and the topic that I've decided
5:11
on is what is child centred play therapy and how does it help my
5:15
child? So I also want to declare being
5:20
a play therapist and a parent myself.
5:23
So for those of you parents joining who don't know, I have
5:28
at the moment a 12 and a 13 year old.
5:30
So I will often refer to being in the trenches of parenting.
5:35
So I want to normalise challenges that happen along the
5:40
way in parenting because we all go through it.
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I want to be as authentic and congruent as I can because that
5:48
is our core tenants of CPT. So I'm going to be honest and
5:52
transparent here about my own experience and the challenges
5:55
that we as parents face as well. So hopefully this will be a
6:00
really helpful episode that you might be able to share with
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parents as a therapist or parents can listen to as well or
6:06
just helping therapist to have some of that language to explain
6:09
child centre play therapy, especially if you're beginning
6:12
in the profession. So I want to acknowledge for our
6:15
parent listeners that you often may be feeling pretty worried or
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anxious about your child and how they're going.
6:25
You might be carrying lots of questions or being slightly
6:30
hesitant about starting therapy. Like I said, I myself work in
6:35
private practise. I'm coming up to 10 years in a
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couple of weeks. Our practise is going to
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celebrate it's 10th birthday of delivering child centre play
6:45
therapy services in the Redlands and beyond.
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So I am super excited. So I will talk about that more
6:50
in the next episode. But getting back on topic.
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So having worked as a child centre play therapist for the
6:57
last 10 years, working in the child protection and disability
6:59
space for the last 20 years, I'm, I know that there can often
7:04
be hesitation questions, wonderings around how play
7:08
therapy works. So this episode is for you and
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certainly for those therapists also listening who want to
7:13
explain it to parents. So what I want to talk about in
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the next couple of episodes is really wanting to do some
7:20
episodes to help parents and caregivers who want to
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understand CCPT. So this episode and the next few
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are for you. I want to, as I said, offer
7:31
language to therapists as well who might be struggling to
7:34
communicate that. But I just want to clarify just
7:37
before we get started that obviously this isn't parenting
7:40
training. This is not a parenting manual.
7:42
We're not going to be analysing play.
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This is purely informational. This is a space of understanding
7:50
to share all about child centre play therapy and how it helps
7:53
children heal through play and a place to slow down and make
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sense of how therapy and especially child centre play
8:00
therapy works. So if you are listening and you
8:02
don't know anything about child centre play therapy, you're
8:05
totally fine. That's totally fine.
8:07
Listen on your we've got you. You don't need to do anything
8:11
differently yet. And this is just about
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understanding. It's not about fixing or
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changing. This is really about sharing as
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much information as we can about child centre play therapies.
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So welcome and let's dive in. Hey, so I want to start off and
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acknowledge along the way that I'm going to be talking to
8:32
parents. So I will try and caveat that if
8:34
I'm talking to different audiences in this podcast, but
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I'll also interchangeably use my own experience as both a play
8:41
therapist and a parent. So hopefully we can all follow
8:45
along together. But what do I want to talk about
8:48
today? So why parents often ask, but
8:50
what is play therapy like? What actually is it?
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So many parents imagine therapy as talking about problems.
9:00
That isn't uncommon because often in our community,
9:05
community expectations around therapy, what we traditionally
9:07
know about therapy is talk based.
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So I really want to normalise that potential preconception
9:14
that parents might have is that I'm bringing my child to therapy
9:18
to talk to someone. That's totally fine.
9:21
I'm going to unpack why child centre play therapy is most
9:25
definitely a very effective, evidence based, research based
9:29
approach to working with children, but how using play is
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often far more effective than talk based work with children.
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So we're going to get into that. Oftentimes parents expect that
9:40
they'll children will be taught some sort of skill base, you
9:44
know, coping skills, skills to navigate life.
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That can be part of a parent's expectation when they're
9:50
engaging a therapist and that adults asking direct questions
9:54
is part of the delivery of intervention as well.
9:57
So it can be really confusing when parents are inquiring about
10:03
child centre play therapy or play therapy in general.
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And our understanding in the beginning that it might be
10:11
sounding like children just playing.
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That is a very, very common understanding of play therapy
10:18
and child centre play therapy. So again, if you're a parent
10:20
listening and when you're reading, I guess information
10:25
about play therapy or you're listening to a play therapist
10:28
talk about it and in the back of your mind you're kind of like,
10:30
but that just sounds like play. That is so, so common as a
10:35
beginning misconception of child centre play therapy.
10:38
So I'm really keen to debunk that and help provide that
10:43
information to better understand.
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But that is common that it just often to parents sounds like
10:48
play so they don't talk about home or school.
10:53
So it could be really confusing when they don't do that.
10:56
So naming that fear of how can playing instead of talking help
11:02
my child? And that's a very valid
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question. You are a parent, you are
11:06
concerned about your child, you want the best for your child and
11:09
you want the best service for your child, right?
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So you want to understand exactly how this works.
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And that's completely understandable.
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So let's talk a little bit about what child centre play therapy
11:19
is all about. And I want to give I guess a
11:21
little caveat here with my own professional background that one
11:25
of the reasons why I went searching for a alternative to
11:29
talk based therapy for kids was I was working in intervention
11:33
mention roles both in government and non government where I was
11:37
using directive approaches and really not getting the outcomes
11:40
that I was seeking as a professional.
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And it was becoming frustrating. I wasn't a parent at that time,
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but I was really wanting to understand, I guess, and
11:50
navigate better how to better reach children.
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And so I found a little bit later child centre play therapy
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and I've never looked back. And so my kids were little when
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I found child centre play therapy.
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So unfortunately my kids, because I use child centre play
12:07
therapy in my everyday language everywhere, are also little mini
12:12
play therapist in the making because they use my language,
12:16
because we've been using it for so long.
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So I want to give that encouragement and support to
12:23
parents who have little ones who are kind of thinking about child
12:27
centre play therapy and how this might work.
12:29
That can also be something that you learn and then that's called
12:33
filial therapy. We won't talk about that today,
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but there is a programme where it can teach parents how to use
12:39
therapy with their own children at home.
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So I don't want to overwhelm parents.
12:44
So let's get back to the basics. But child centre play therapy
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really is all about a relationship based therapy.
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So one of the things that parents often say to me when
12:54
they refer and connect with me is that their child struggled to
12:59
build a connection with their previous therapist.
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And that's not uncommon either. And that's completely fine.
13:06
There is situations where there's matching and
13:08
mismatching. Those things happen in the
13:11
therapeutic context and it is so important that parents are
13:15
empowered to know how informed consent works and freedom of
13:21
choice. And so finding the best and
13:23
right fit for you and your child is absolutely essential.
13:28
So it's very important that you feel like your child can connect
13:33
and build a working relationship with the therapist that you
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enlist for help. So child centre play therapy is
13:39
deeply based in taking the time investing in building a
13:45
therapeutic alliance and relationship with the child and
13:48
it works throughout the journey. What I want to explain to
13:51
parents is that child centred play therapy isn't just about
13:53
working with your child, it's about the therapist connecting
13:56
and working with you too. A good child centre play
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therapist will work holistically with the system, so they will
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work with the parents, work with stakeholders, so schools, allied
14:08
health doctors, whoever is involved and you give permission
14:13
as a parent to do so, there is that opportunity for your play
14:17
therapist to work holistically. So it's very important that your
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play therapist in that initial consultation explains how they
14:24
work and that you will be kept updated and involved with
14:28
regular ongoing parent consultations so you can provide
14:32
feedback, ask questions, review goals.
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There is so much about the parent being involved in the
14:38
process as well. So if you've had an experience
14:40
prior with a therapist that hasn't necessarily involved and
14:47
supported you along the way alongside the work that they've
14:50
been doing with the child, with your child, it's really
14:54
important to make sure that you feel that inclusion in that
14:58
delivery of services. So it's very much CCPT is
15:03
developmentally appropriate. It's designed specifically and
15:06
developmentally for children. So it is a mode of delivery of
15:12
intervention that honours the different developmental stages
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of children and that specifically children
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communicate through play the way adults communicate with words.
15:25
Let me say that again for you. So children communicate through
15:28
play the way adults communicate through words.
15:32
So sometimes when we explain that to parents, it does give a
15:37
little bit of an aha moment because oftentimes either
15:41
they've tried or other therapists have tried to use
15:44
talk based work in engaging with their child and haven't really
15:47
gotten very far. And the reason for that is often
15:50
kids struggle to put words to their feelings.
15:53
They struggle to put words to their experiences or to be able
15:57
to recall it or be able to detail it, but they absolutely
16:01
can do it fantastically through play.
16:05
They can do it to the tee of, of everything that happened to
16:09
them, the the emotions that they felt, how it went for them in
16:14
terms of their family situation or dynamics, absolutely to to
16:19
the core. They can talk through in, in
16:22
play. So as a play therapist, I'm
16:24
trained to understand that play, to be able to interpret it and
16:28
to be able to communicate updates to you.
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So that's my job as a play therapist to be, I guess kind of
16:34
that conduit between the child and the parent.
16:36
So we recognise that children will use play to process their
16:42
feelings, process their experiences and they are always
16:45
trying to work towards a resolution because in our
16:49
approach to child centre play therapy, we believe in the
16:52
potential of every child and family that we connect with if
16:56
given a supportive space to do so.
16:58
So we acknowledge, and there's a term for this, so I don't want
17:03
to lose any parents, but if you've ever heard of the self
17:05
actualization principle, it's this idea of in our philosophy
17:11
of practise that clients are always trying to work towards a
17:15
better version of themselves. They actually don't don't want
17:18
to feel frustrated, they don't want to feel depressed, they
17:20
don't want to feel angry. They actually want to feel
17:23
better. And so we want to provide that
17:26
supportive space to help them do that.
17:28
So we acknowledge that children can't use words to do that, but
17:31
they can do it through play. So here comes my therapy and why
17:34
it's so important. So our role as the therapist is
17:37
to provide a safe, consistent space.
17:41
We know if we don't provide that space to support kids, they
17:46
won't feel that sense of trust to be vulnerable and open up
17:49
about the big tough stuff. So that investment in
17:52
establishing that relation first, relationship first, is
17:54
key. So you might hear your play
17:56
therapist in your first catch up with them after you've had a few
17:59
sessions, say, I've spent time building a relationship with
18:03
your child and we've established that or we're still working
18:06
towards that. That's really important that you
18:09
understand what that means as a parent.
18:12
So I'm going to do a separate episode on stages in play
18:15
therapy to explain to parents. But just to give you that
18:18
reassurance, the beginning work that play therapists do with
18:22
children is really establishing that consistency and safe and
18:25
trusting space. It's very important that we're
18:28
following the child's lead. The child innately knows what
18:32
they need to talk about and where they need to go.
18:35
I wholeheartedly can say that anecdotally as a play therapist
18:40
of practise over the last 10 years, the amount of kids where
18:44
we have as a collective between the therapist and the parent
18:49
established those goals of therapy at the beginning of our
18:52
work. And then I've started working
18:53
with the child and that agenda has shifted significantly and
18:58
I've been able to go back to the parent to explain what might be
19:01
some of the other elements that the child is struggling with and
19:04
give more context. It's incredible how children
19:07
will tell us what they need to tell us about their problem or
19:10
their issue. So letting them take the lead is
19:13
absolutely critical. If I went in with my agenda of
19:16
what I thought they needed to be taught or what they needed to
19:20
discuss, I miss the child. So if I bring in the agenda, I
19:26
miss connecting with and understanding at a core level
19:30
what's happening for the child. Because it's my agenda, it's not
19:32
the child's. So we respond with warmth,
19:35
acceptance and emotional understanding.
19:38
So we can be that independent person from your family, from
19:42
the stakeholder group that can offer a safe space for kids to
19:45
talk through, through play, what's going on for them.
19:49
So what is CCPT not? So it's not behaviour
19:53
management. I need to kind of clarify that.
19:55
It's especially for some of us working in Australia in say the
20:00
NDIS space, it's really important to acknowledge child
20:03
centre play therapy is not positive behaviour support.
20:06
It's not behaviour management, it's not teaching lessons.
20:09
And it's not direct problem solving, it's very much about
20:14
emotional expression, meaning making healing through the
20:19
relationship and healing through play.
20:21
That's what it is. So how does child centre play
20:24
therapy help children to heal and grow?
20:27
If that's what it is, how does it work?
20:29
So how does it go into real time?
20:33
I guess goals, outcomes, tangible, measurable intentions.
20:40
I guess when we are connecting with a therapist and asking them
20:43
to work with our child. So what can we do and what can
20:46
we help in child centre play therapy to support the child?
20:49
We help to develop emotional regulation skills.
20:52
So to break that down a little bit more, what a play therapist
20:55
often does is uses a skill called reflecting feelings.
21:00
So when play therapist use reflecting feelings, it provides
21:04
an opportunity for children to understand both unconsciously
21:09
and consciously what a particular emotion is.
21:12
So in effect, we're helping children to be able to build
21:15
their emotional literacy, but we're also able to support
21:19
emotional regulation through Co regulation, through us
21:23
regulating ourselves and helping to support regulate the child.
21:26
So what happens is when we're able to do that and we're able
21:30
to help support regulate a child in the playroom to help them in
21:35
simple terms, to remain calm in the playroom.
21:38
So if your child is struggling with big emotions, big feelings,
21:42
one of the ways we can help do that is communicating that
21:45
acceptance, that understanding and reflecting feelings to
21:49
validate how they're feeling and to help de escalate them.
21:53
So when we can do that through that action orientated
21:58
experience, because we know kids developmentally need to move.
22:02
They can't sit still and just talk to someone.
22:04
They are on the go, they need to move.
22:07
I just did 6 sessions today. Like I know I really have moved
22:11
today. Like I have made my steps today
22:13
as a play therapist because I was running in that playroom.
22:17
So kids need to move to learn they can't sit still.
22:21
So if they have this opportunity to play it out through an action
22:25
orientated and experiential experience, they can establish a
22:29
new way of being able to connect with others outside.
22:33
So what we find and what's incredible about this work is
22:37
kids will workshop ideas, they'll play out ideas, they'll
22:40
trial different ways of doing things.
22:42
And once they've established that, they start using those
22:45
skills outside of play therapy because why?
22:49
Child centre Play therapy is a relationship based therapy.
22:53
So what happens is they learn in that relationship between myself
22:57
as the therapist and the child and they generalise it to the
23:01
outside world because eventually it's not just about myself and
23:05
the client. They take those skills to all of
23:07
their relationships. So they learn through that one
23:11
relationship with me and they take it outside and use it with
23:14
everyone else. It's incredible, it's amazing.
23:16
And kids don't intentionally do this either.
23:18
I want to preface to parents, it's not.
23:21
There is no thought process where kids go, OK, well I've
23:25
learnt how to manage my big feelings with Kylie, so now I'm
23:28
going to try and manage my big feelings with my teacher in the
23:30
classroom. None of that happens in their
23:32
brain. They just don't have that
23:34
capacity yet to do that. But they have that experience,
23:38
that relationship with me where they're able to build those
23:41
skills so that they can gently and effectively take them
23:44
outside of the play therapy space and use them in other
23:47
contexts. So we help them to build
23:49
confidence and self trust. In play therapy, there is a term
23:54
called returning responsibility. It's a big one.
23:59
So I, I want to connect with parents who are listening right
24:02
now who may have a child who can't do things for themselves.
24:08
So if you are struggling with your child who becomes upset,
24:15
becomes frustrated, angry, defers to you or to another
24:21
family member to do things for them, can't do things for
24:24
themselves, there is a term in child centre play therapy.
24:28
I don't want to lose anyone, but there is a term called learned
24:32
helplessness. So we use that in our therapy
24:35
work to talk about a child who through repeated experiences,
24:40
the same way that they have repeated experiences in the
24:43
playroom and they learn those new skills with us.
24:47
They can in other settings also have these repeated experiences
24:50
where they learn how the world works.
24:53
And one of those things could be that if over repetition, they've
24:57
learnt that if they dig their heels in and they refuse to do
25:02
something and they become say upset or Yep, cry or become
25:08
angry that others will do it for them and so they stop doing
25:14
things for themselves. So what I want to say in this
25:18
space when I'm talking about some of the benefits of CCPT is
25:21
one of the ways that we build confidence in kids is returning
25:24
responsibility. So in the playroom, my job is
25:28
not to do anything for the child unless it's outside of their
25:31
developmental stage, which is a whole other conversation.
25:35
But generally speaking, if it's something that is within the
25:40
developmental expectations of a child to do so, if I have a 10
25:44
year old who can't pick colours to draw a picture, I'm not going
25:50
to pick that colour for them. What we're going to do is return
25:54
responsibility to build their confidence, their capacity,
25:59
their self direction, their self responsibility.
26:02
Because in play therapy, we believe that those skills can't
26:06
be taught. It needs to be learned through
26:08
experience. So I'm trained to sit in the
26:12
uncomfortable with kids until they're able to do it.
26:17
So if they become upset and frustrated, I'm going to use my
26:20
reflecting feeling skills to help validate their feelings,
26:24
but also hold those boundaries. So this is where I'm going to
26:28
put my my parent hat on now because I want to talk to
26:31
parents who maybe have a family context where both parents work.
26:40
Maybe you guys both work full time and your time pressured.
26:46
You have maybe a couple of kids, two or three kids, and they're
26:51
school aged or their daycare school aged, and you need to get
26:53
them to school and to daycare and you need to get to work.
26:57
And so when we have one of our kids who is refusing to put
27:00
their school shoes on and you need to be in the car because
27:04
you need to be at work in the next half an hour and you need
27:07
to get everyone going. Like we've had, you know,
27:10
breakfast, We've gotten dressed, we've packed our school lunches,
27:13
we've packed our bags, we brush our hair, we've cleaned our
27:16
teeth, and we are literally trying to get into the car.
27:18
And you have one of your kiddos who is refusing to put their
27:22
shoe on. I just want to validate and
27:24
normalise that you may not have the time to be able to sit there
27:29
for 45 minutes while you are trying to get your child in the
27:33
car. So if you are struggling with
27:35
this, that is part of why you would engage a child centre play
27:40
therapist to help support you through that.
27:42
Because parents now more than ever are flat out over schedule,
27:49
eyes struggling, time poor. All of those things are so
27:54
relevant to parents right now. And so I want to remove any of
27:59
that guilt or shame that any parents might feel around not
28:03
being able to give as much time as you would like to help
28:07
support build those skills for your your child.
28:09
This is the reality of working and needing to run a household,
28:16
I believe, as far as I'm aware. What I have read is that we are
28:22
one of the first generations out, and I'm gonna say it to all
28:25
my parents listening geriatric millennial parents.
28:29
If you're out there, if you're a millennial parent, I see you.
28:32
I totally see you. We are one of the first
28:35
generations that is trying to run a household and hold down a
28:39
job. We are also part of a parent
28:43
cohort where we are trying to work through our own experiences
28:47
growing up and parent in a different way our own kids.
28:52
So there is so many pressures, so many challenges with
28:56
parenting in modern day. So I just want to really
29:00
normalise that and help support you in looking for a way of
29:06
being able to support kids that and your child in particular
29:11
that will address some of those challenges that you're
29:13
experiencing. So if that is you, if you
29:16
identify with that concept of learned helplessness, you are
29:20
not alone, definitely not. So what else can we help in
29:25
child centre play therapy with expression of big or confusing
29:30
or intense feelings? So what we do in child centre
29:33
play therapy is we have another term called limit setting.
29:37
So that's really important because we are very conscious in
29:42
child centre play therapy of role modelling, A socially
29:46
acceptable relationship as one of The Pioneers in child centre
29:50
play therapy, Garrett Landreth would say.
29:51
So it's very important that we are upholding our professional
29:56
ethics, our code of conduct, our ethical guidelines as well as
30:01
our professional practise. So it's important that kids have
30:05
an opportunity to be able to express feelings that they have
30:09
inside them that they need to release.
30:11
So we often talk about child centre play therapy because it's
30:14
play based, providing an opportunity for kids to process
30:18
cathartically big feelings, which is great.
30:21
That's what helps children. So we want to provide that
30:24
opportunity, but we will also put limits in to make sure that
30:27
they're safe. So we have a basic rule of thumb
30:31
because obviously goes into a lot more detail, but I want to
30:34
just share the basics with parents that it's all about
30:38
making sure that I'm safe, that the child is safe and the room
30:42
and the toys are safe. So as long as that's the case
30:45
and it's within that socially acceptable relationship, they
30:49
are feelings that we will allow the child to express in process.
30:53
So we have resources in the room to do that.
30:55
So we have punching bags. We have a giant teddy I've
31:00
actually got with my punching bag.
31:01
I got it from Kmart, so it's fantastic.
31:04
I have never, I have looked so many times for different
31:08
resources and the one from came out is amazing, but it has
31:10
targets on it and like an inflatable glove so kids can
31:15
punch it and they can let out those feelings in a safe and
31:20
supported and therapeutic way. So we would never let them do
31:23
anything that's not acceptable outside of play therapy, but we
31:26
also wouldn't let them do anything that would not be OK in
31:30
terms of safety. So we're always making sure that
31:33
they are safe in the playroom. So we also help them to process
31:37
and talk through without having to use any words, experiences
31:41
that are really tough for them. So in play therapy, they don't
31:45
even need to use any words to talk about some of those
31:48
traumatic experiences that maybe they have been through.
31:51
So we help them do that with the resources we have in the room.
31:54
We really want to promote with kids a sense of being understood
31:58
and accepted. So when we are connecting and
32:01
building that relationship, it is an ongoing process of that
32:05
safety trust and we have key tenants.
32:09
So these are our key principles or our core beliefs in child
32:12
centre play therapy that we provide congruence.
32:16
So we are authentic, we are who we are, We are transparent to
32:22
kids and truly kids and parents value that.
32:25
When we're authentic, we're congruent, we have deep empathy,
32:30
deep empathy for everyone involved, including parents and
32:33
children, and unconditional positive regard.
32:37
They're the three kind of key core beliefs of child centre
32:40
play therapists. So when we do that, we're able
32:43
to help children to feel that sense of being understood and
32:46
accepted. So change happens from the
32:48
inside out. It's not kind of the other way,
32:52
way around where we're trying to teach them things.
32:55
We want them to be able to have that self insight, to be able to
33:01
develop strategies and skills that resonate for them as
33:05
opposed to things that I'm I'm teaching them.
33:08
And we believe that when children feel safe, growth
33:12
follows naturally. It's not something that needs to
33:15
be forced or pushed. So what can this look like in
33:19
terms of how play therapy works so often times and what happens
33:26
in child centre play therapy? After our initial kind of couple
33:29
of sessions where we've set I guess those expectations, we
33:33
have a welcome statement that we use with kids.
33:35
Once kids have gotten into that routine, it's very much
33:39
welcoming them into the space and allowing them to set the
33:42
agenda. But what happens is because kids
33:45
innately want to move towards feeling better, and they want to
33:48
talk about the things through play that are bothering them, we
33:51
often see repetitive play. We'll see kids express big
33:56
emotions. We might see them actually be
33:59
quite quiet and withdrawn or they might use overt or covert
34:04
ways to test boundaries. And we will definitely see
34:07
shifts over time and, and we're able to in our ongoing parent
34:12
consults, provide you updates along the way about that.
34:15
But there is no right way for a child to play.
34:18
Every child is unique. Every experience they have is
34:21
unique and their feelings are unique.
34:24
So we're not looking for clues and we're certainly working at
34:30
their pace because they take the lead.
34:33
So why or what do parents often worry about?
34:37
Why do parents worry about potentially using child centre
34:40
play therapy if you're still trying to understand what it's
34:42
all about And what do you often worry about the most?
34:46
So here are some of those common questions.
34:48
So shouldn't my child talk about what's wrong?
34:53
Again, we're acknowledging for kids that their natural mode of
34:58
communication is play. So their preference is always to
35:02
use play first and then talking maybe second.
35:05
So I often say when I first meet for the first consultation,
35:10
before I start working with the child, when I meet with a
35:11
parent, I'll say to them, it is very likely that the play that I
35:17
see in the playroom, you will most likely be seeing a version
35:20
of that at home. Because play and how kids talk
35:25
doesn't just live in the playroom, it lives everywhere.
35:27
It lives in the playground, it lives in their classroom, it
35:31
lives in their bedroom, it lives in their playroom.
35:34
If they've got a playroom at home, it lives everywhere.
35:37
So when we understand how they talk through play, we can
35:43
understand what they're telling us.
35:44
So it's putting sometimes an adult lens on a child's
35:51
perspective when it comes to being able to talk about
35:54
difficult things. We as adults are potentially
35:58
expecting them to be able to talk when their preference is to
36:01
play it out. So will they learn skills?
36:05
Absolutely. Is my my response to that.
36:07
But it's not going to be necessarily in the way that you
36:11
may have seen in other interventions.
36:13
They learn through play, through playing it out, through playing
36:17
it repetitively, through being supported by the therapist to
36:20
move towards resolution, to be able to develop in that
36:25
relationship and test out and troubleshoot new skills.
36:30
They do that in that relationship with me as the
36:32
therapist. So then they can start using it
36:34
outside of the playroom. So yes, they absolutely learn
36:36
skills, just not in a directive talk based way.
36:40
How long will this take? I have learned over the last 10
36:44
years that it is absolutely impossible to be able to
36:48
pinpoint and guess exactly how many sessions a child is going
36:51
to need. So we absolutely do not offer
36:55
any kind of number to parents in an initial consultation.
36:58
So why do I say that? Because I want to make sure that
37:02
I'm not setting myself up to fail as the play therapist, but
37:05
I also don't want to set up the child to fail.
37:07
If we give expectations of this is how many sessions they're
37:10
going to need. I often in talking to parents
37:13
want to I guess, help build that parallel understanding of maybe
37:19
their own experience of going to therapy as an adult or their
37:21
understanding of how therapy works for adults.
37:24
That we don't necessarily put a number to adults when they go to
37:28
adult counselling or adult talk based therapy.
37:32
So we can't do that with children either.
37:34
Children innately know how long they need to be there.
37:37
And so we, again, our responsibility as the play
37:40
therapist is to keep the parent updated and informed of how much
37:43
longer it's going to need. How long will, how will I know,
37:47
excuse me? How will I know it's working?
37:50
I mean, that's a great question because you as the parent are
37:54
investing your time, your resources and your commitment to
37:58
this approach. And so you want to know that
38:00
it's going to be progressive and you're going to see shifts and
38:04
changes. One of the first ways that you
38:08
will notice if it's working is if you start to see a shift in
38:11
your child at home or at school. So often times I will have
38:16
feedback from parents that will say, you know, Johnny, my son is
38:21
starting to feel or starting to seem a little bit more settled
38:25
at school. It's not, it's not a massive
38:28
like aha, yay, they've achieved their goal.
38:31
It's often very subtle and slow, but you'll just start to see I
38:35
guess some softening, some de escalation of some of those
38:39
challenging behaviours. Whatever it is related to the
38:41
goal of the child, it's, it's very hard, I guess to kind of
38:44
put definitive indicators, I guess of progress.
38:49
It's going to be unique for each child, but it will be in
38:52
relation to the goals that you set with your play therapist in
38:54
the beginning that if you start to see a shift or progression
38:58
towards that, that's a great indicator that play therapy is
39:02
working. It's very important if you feel
39:05
like you are not sure that progress is happening, that your
39:10
child might be stuck to reach out to your play therapist.
39:14
I welcome, you know, any opportunity I can to talk about
39:18
play therapy. You can only imagine.
39:20
But I think it is important that we are transparent in our
39:23
practise. So as play therapist, being able
39:26
to offer that transparency, to be able to provide those updates
39:29
to explain the progress that's occurring very important.
39:33
So I want to normalise if you've had some of these questions that
39:36
I've just talked about and it's been kind of your wonderings,
39:40
Your questions come from care and love.
39:43
And I say that as a parent, they come from a space that you just
39:48
love your child and want the absolute best for them.
39:51
We all do as parents. So those questions are important
39:55
for you to ask if you feel like you're still unsure, We need
40:00
clarification. I definitely want to unpack
40:03
further. I've had to keep stopping
40:04
myself. If you've noticed, I want to
40:06
dive into so many topics as we've been talking.
40:09
So we will definitely unpack further aspects of child centre
40:14
play therapy to help support and educate parents to have a sense
40:19
of understanding. But just like we do with
40:22
children, I want to offer you as parents that empowerment and
40:26
confidence in child centre play therapy because that's
40:29
important. That you feel when you connect
40:32
with your play therapist that they've got this, that they know
40:36
what they're doing and that they've got a plan to support
40:38
you. That's very important and so
40:41
much a core part of child centre play therapy.
40:44
So what might be some of the topics that we'll cover in the
40:48
next couple of episodes? I want to talk to parents about
40:52
what progress in child centre play therapy looks like so that
40:56
you can have an understanding of what that might be all about.
40:59
Why therapists don't correct kids in session.
41:03
For example, how CCPT supports so many different presenting
41:08
issues and skill development, including emotional regulation
41:13
and how parents can support therapy without feeling that
41:17
pressure or feeling that urgency.
41:21
So I hope that this episode, it was really, I guess, an
41:28
intention to be able to share this information with more
41:32
families in the communities that we support.
41:35
We are in something like 38 countries now across the globe
41:40
our podcast reaches. So I really hope that this is a
41:44
podcast that might be helpful and useful not just for
41:47
Australian play therapist but internationally.
41:50
And I really want to send, I guess that empathy and
41:55
understanding to parents about how tough it is right now to
41:59
parent. It is so challenging for so many
42:03
reasons. So I just want to normalise
42:06
those struggles and challenges that you might be feeling and
42:09
facing as well and why play therapy can offer that safe
42:13
space for kids and also offer that educational support for you
42:17
as well. So if you're considering play
42:19
therapy, you're not behind, you're not behind, you're right
42:22
where you should be. You found us, you found our
42:24
podcast. So that's amazing.
42:27
Seeking Understanding is showing how supportive you already are
42:32
as a parent. So that is amazing.
42:35
And your child doesn't need to be fixed, they just need to be
42:39
understood. So maybe in other contexts and
42:42
other interventions, they just haven't had that opportunity to
42:45
connect at that deeper level where that therapist can truly
42:48
understand what's happening for the child.
42:52
So I am excited to do the next couple of episodes speaking to
42:56
parents and connecting with parents.
42:58
So for therapists and parents listing, I hope that this
43:01
episode has been helpful and useful to you.
43:05
Thank you so much for being here.
43:07
I love talking about play therapy as child centre play
43:09
therapy, as I'm sure you can tell.
43:11
So please, please, please reach out if you've got questions.
43:15
We are on social media, so you can catch us on Instagram and
43:21
Facebook and TikTok on and we are called the Play Therapy
43:25
Circle podcast. So look us up.
43:26
We're happy for you to follow along.
43:28
We post our episodes every week on there and short clips as
43:32
well. So we are starting to post some
43:34
short videos about child centre play therapy as well.
43:36
So you might want to check us out on our social media.
43:39
We're on Apple and Spotify and YouTube as well.
43:43
So you anyone that is watching this video right now on YouTube,
43:46
Hello, hello, hello. So reach out to us.
43:50
Feel free to email us if you've got questions about this episode
43:53
or just want more information. Hello at playtherapycircle.com,
43:57
That's our email. We welcome the chance to connect
44:01
with you all. So we will keep this
44:03
conversation going next week with more topics, helping
44:07
support parents and helping to share this information for
44:11
therapists as well. Thank you so much for being
44:15
here. I love to say at the end of
44:16
every episode to take care of yourself and each other.
44:19
I think that's so relevant now more than ever.
44:22
So please, please, please look after yourself and each other.
44:24
Have a wonderful rest of your week.
44:27
And like I said, next week we're going to continue the
44:30
conversation. But I am also super excited
44:32
about our practise birthday, so I've got to obviously share
44:36
about that along the way as well.
44:38
So all fun things coming up in the weeks ahead.
44:41
So thank you so much for your support.
44:43
Please look after yourself and each other.
44:45
Go well and I will see you next time.
44:47
Bye. Thank you so much for being here
44:53
for another episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
44:56
If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
45:00
follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
45:03
short review. It really helps others find our
45:06
circle. And if you have a topic or
45:08
question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
45:11
you. This space is for you, and I
45:14
want it to feel like a conversation.
45:16
Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you belong
45:21
here.