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How Would a Narcissist Feel When You Start To Ignore Them and Pay Them No Mind? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So how do narcissists feel when you just flat out ignore them
• 0:04
  when you just stop contacting them?
• 0:06
  Now this is not going no contact, right?
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  This is, this could be going no contact, but a lot of times you
• 0:12
  can't. You can't go no contact.
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  You have kids together, you live together, things of that nature.
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  What happens when you live with them and you are ignoring them
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  or you work with them and you ignore them when the possibility
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  exists and you ignore them, how do they feel?
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  What happened? What goes on inside that noggin,
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  That narcissistic noggin? That's where we talk about it
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  today, y'all? Of course, if you're new here,
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  I'm Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
• 0:32
  myself. And welcome to another episode
• 0:34
  of The Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
• 0:54
  Y'all, the podcast is coming. The mental illness podcast is
• 0:59
  coming to you. It's kind of like Christmas.
• 1:03
  Santa Claus is coming for you, right?
• 1:06
  Instead of Santa Claus is the Mental Illness podcast.
• 1:09
  My first interview is dropping with Miss Natalie.
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  It is coming ASAP. But yeah, y'all, how do
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  narcissists feel when you just cut the contact, When you stop
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  giving them responses, when you just flat out ignore them?
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  What goes on inside of that mind?
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  Well, one thing that goes on side of the mind of a narcissist
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  when you ignore them is it's not funny.
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  It's funny when I think about it, but it's just pure rage.
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  And I'm sure, I'm sure a lot of y'all have experienced this,
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  rage. When you ignore a narcissist,
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  they rage and they might not right now, not all of them will
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  yell and scream at you. And I say rage.
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  I think I need to be very clear. Now all of them will yell and
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  scream at you. It's covert narcissist.
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  Don't yell and scream a lot of times, right?
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  They get passive aggressive. They need a silent treatment.
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  If you ignore me, I'm going to ignore you.
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  That's the covert narcissist. Now an overt malignant 1 might
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  yell at you. They might scream at you.
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  They might put their hands on you.
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  You see what I'm saying? They might call you all, call
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  you every name in the book, call you everything but a child of
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  God, right? They might say all they might
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  insult, insulting you, left, right, back, forward, look,
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  left, right, up, down, back, forward, slip, slide,
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  crisscross, all of that stuff. They might go with it that way.
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  Right there. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mentality. Like so some of them will become
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  very violent and rage out on you and yell and scream at you when
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  you're ignoring them, especially if you still have to be in
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  contact with them. Now a lot of times some people
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  consider no contact and ignoring somebody the same person, the
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  same thing like not responding to them.
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  It it can be the same in certain situations but most times it's
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  not like if I'm no contact with you, there is no contact.
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  You can't contact me, you're blocked.
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  You you saw that you're blocked. There is no way you can contact
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  me unless you create fake numbers or fake pages or
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  whatever. No response or ignoring is you
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  can still message me. You can still text me and I'm
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  just not responding to it. I'm ignoring it.
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  I'm not reading it, I'm not opening it.
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  It's just in it's pretty much in going into like the, the, the
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  back files. Nobody's going to see this.
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  You might as well save your energy by sending it because no
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  one is going to see it. That goes right there.
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  That's the mentality in that situation right there.
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  Nobody's going to see it, so you might as well not send it.
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  That's how a lot of narcissist minds work, right?
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  They so they want, they want, they would rather you be
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  narcissists, would rather you ignore and be no response than
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  for you to be no contact because no contact typically equates to
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  no access. If I can't contact you, I can't
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  have any access to you. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's where that goes. That's where that comes in into
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  play right there at. But I'll also say this like when
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  you're dealing with somebody who like who's like this, when you
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  start to ignore them, you have to be careful because the rage
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  is the rage can get, they can get violent y'all.
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  But when you ignore them, sometimes they will leave you
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  alone. Some sometimes they will
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  actually get the hint. Notice I said sometimes, right?
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  Because not all the time is this going to happen that way.
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  Sometimes they will get the hint, other times they will not
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  right. Other times they will not get
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  the hint. They will not care they don't
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  you should say. Other times they will not get
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  the hint, they will not care they don't under they don't they
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  they don't care if you ignore them.
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  Sometimes they will leave you alone, sometimes they will go
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  away because they get the hint and their egos kick in like the
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  narcissist the ego activates and just like hell no, you even
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  responded to me, hell no. I'm not wasting my time, effort
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  or my energy on you. That's a rarity right there,
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  though. Could that happen?
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  Yeah, but that's going to be the rarity.
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  That's that's going to be the exception, not the rule most
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  times. So you sometimes if you ignore
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  them, they will just, they will just match your energy and start
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  to ignore you. That's the that's that's the
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  simplest way of putting it right there, right.
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  Sometimes when you ignore them, they will start to ignore you.
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  They will get the hint and leave you be again.
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  That's sometimes. That's not all the time.
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  So that's what you have to understand and prepare for too.
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  Sometimes, not all the times. Now on the other side of things,
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  sometimes when you ignore them, they will increase the contact.
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  You ignore me. Hell no.
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  You don't get to ignore me. Who the hell do you think you
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  are? You don't get to ignore me.
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  Hell no. Like the more you ignore me, the
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  more I'm going to message you, the more I'm going to try to
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  exhaust you. Because so many times you get
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  narcissistic people that in these, in these circumstances
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  right here, the more you ignore me, the more I'm going to try to
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  exhaust you like I, you don't get to the, you don't get to
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  tell me what to do because you ignore me is you setting the
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  rules, you ignore me. Is you setting the standards,
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  you ignore me is you taking control.
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  And hell no. Do I want you to have control?
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  Hell no. I want you to have control.
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  Why do I, why would I want you having control over anything
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  that I'm doing? You know what I mean?
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  Why don't you having control over anything that I'm saying,
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  anything that I'm doing, anything like that, right?
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  That's why it goes on like I said.
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  No, you ignore me. I'm going to exhaust you.
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  I'm going to try to wear you down.
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  I'm going to try to ambush everything.
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  You ignore me and we don't live together.
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  I'm popping up at your house. I'm going.
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  If you ignore me, you don't. There's no boundary that you can
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  set. There's no boundary that you can
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  set that I'm going to abide by. I wasn't abiding by the
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  boundaries in the 1st place, which is probably how we got
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  here, right? But it I was going to abide by
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  the boundaries in the 1st place, but now I'm really not going to
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  abide by them. You want to set a boundary?
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  Hell no. You don't get to set boundaries
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  here. No boundaries set on on me.
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  So when you ignore narcissist, like, yeah, some of them will
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  lose their minds and start contacting you more trying to
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  wear you down or you ignore me or you going, you're not going
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  to talk to me. Hell no.
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  You don't get this, You don't get this.
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  You don't get to decide when to stop contacting me.
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  I decide all of that blah, blah, blah, Boo, Boo, Boo BBB.
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  That's the, that's the how it's going to go right there.
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  You know what I mean? So you have to prepare for that
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  too. That's preparation.
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  Preparation is key when you're dealing with a, a highly toxic,
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  highly narcissistic person. Preparation is key, you know
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  what I mean? You have to be prepared for
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  y'all. If you're not prepared, Bucky,
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  your safety belts, you're going on a bumpy ride.
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  The bumpiest ride, so to speak. But I will say this as well,
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  y'all, sometimes when you ignore a narcissist, yes.
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  Let me put my narcissist's hat on, y'all?
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  Somebody said they're gonna make me a narcissist's hat and send
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  it to me, but I haven't. I got a message to my I forgot
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  to send an e-mail back. We're gonna put my narcissist's
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  hat on right here, y'all? If I put my narcissist's hat on
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  and go into my narcissistic subconscious, what do I see here
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  when I'm being ignored? Like if you ignore me, I feel
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  defeated. I feel worthless.
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  I don't feel like like enough. Like you make.
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  You're making me question my own validity.
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  You're making me question my own value.
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  You're hitting my ego. You're criticizing me.
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  You're rejecting me. I feel all of these negative
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  emotions that are attached, right?
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  There's very little positivity going on right now.
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  Like all of it is negative. All like most of it, if I can't,
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  I can't think of anything positive coming right now.
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  Most of it is, most of it is negative.
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  Like I'm thinking you got somebody else.
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  I'm thinking that you have moved on.
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  I'm thinking I'm not good enough.
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  I'm thinking that I could have done better.
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  I'm thinking that you're doing better.
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  I'm thinking you gonna move on and be happier than I could ever
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  make you. And that's making me feel bad
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  about myself even more. Nothing is good.
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  Like the story that I'm telling myself right now is absolutely
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  detrimental to everything I have going on, absolutely detrimental
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  to any type of victories, any type of winning that I'm trying
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  to achieve. The story that I'm telling
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  myself right now is heartbreaking.
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  In turn, inside of me, you're ignoring me.
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  Like I'm questioning, do I need to apologize?
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  Have I done anything? What, what did I do wrong?
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  How can I fix this? Right?
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  But also at the same time, I'm thinking about what did I do
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  wrong and how can I fix this? I'm like, well, what did you do
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  wrong to make me do that wrong? Like you're not innocent here.
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  Like I'm in my mind, you're not innocent here at all.
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  Like you've done something to me as well, which is why I started
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  treating you this certain type of way.
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  I wouldn't treat you any. I wouldn't treat you bad for no
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  reason. That's not who I am, right?
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  So you ignore me. It's kind of pointless because
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  you, you ignore me as you run away, you running away from
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  accountability as well, because what about what you did?
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  I know I've done some things, some wrong things, but what
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  about what you've done? You're not innocent here.
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  You're not an Angel. You've done some bad things.
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  I've forgiven you. I haven't ignored you.
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  Or even when I did ignore you, I eventually spoke to you again.
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  So I do have hope that you will speak to me again.
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  Because I spoke to you before, after I ignored you, after I
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  gave you the silent treatment. I spoke to you before.
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  So I'm assuming you you offered me the same courtesy, right?
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  Yeah, when I put my narcissist head on, so not going today that
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  that subconscious mind, it is the not dark, right.
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  But it's like a lot going on in my mind right there.
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  And I'm going into like the the way the narcissist minds work,
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  mind works like it's deep, it's dark, It's like it's insecurity.
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  Like when you were ignoring me. You're making me feel like the
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  most insecure person in the world.
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  Like I'm in more insecure than I've ever been before in my life
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  because you decided to ignore me.
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  You make me feel very tiny and I don't like this.
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  I need to find a way to feel big again.
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  I need to find a way to feel to, you know, to, to redo myself.
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  I need to find a way to recapture my glory or to, to get
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  my validation elsewhere. Right.
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  That's why when you break no contact.
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  I just did a video very recently on this.
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  When you break no contact, narcissists feel validated, you
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  know, because they're, they're searching for that validation.
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  And the more you ignore me, the less validation I am getting.
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  But crazy thing is like I just thought about this.
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  If you ignore me, if I'm, if I'm super delusional, if I'm a super
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  delusional narcissist, I convinced myself that you're
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  ignoring me because you're avoiding accountability.
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  I'm sorry about that. I convinced myself the fact that
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  you're ignoring me means that you're avoiding accountability
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  for something that you have done.
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  And I know that sounds crazy. I convinced myself that you are
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  the one that's avoided accountability.
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  You are the one that's done some wrong stuff and you're trying to
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  hide from it. Doesn't that sound crazy as hell
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  right there, y'all? Doesn't that sound ignorant?
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  But again, that's how the mind of a lot of narcissists work
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  right there. We are working in that instance
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  right there. We're working in that, in that
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  mentality right there because that's the way it goes.
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  I promise you that's the way it goes, right?
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  We are trying to find ways to violate ourselves.
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  So we were convincing ourselves that you're avoiding
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  accountability by ignoring me. You're running away from your
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  responsibilities because you that's why you're ignoring me.
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  I know it sounds stupid. I just, they just popped in my
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  head because the narcissist, I can get the narcissist hat away
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  from me. Anyways, y'all thank y'all for
• 12:01
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• 12:07
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• 12:20
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