Latest / Untraditionally Lala / The Truth Behind Christa B. Allen’s Shocking TikTok

Transcript

The Truth Behind Christa B. Allen’s Shocking TikTok · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's Lala Kent. Welcome to untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: back to untraditionally, Lala. It is yours truly, and I'm
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: freaking the fuck out. I'm gonna read your bio so
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: you get all the credit. Okay, I have Christa b Allen, Welcome.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: You guys know that she is an actress, musician, a
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: content creator. She's best known for her role as young
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Jenna Rink in one of MY most favorite movies, thirteen
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: going on thirty. That movie slaps, okay, laps so hard. Also,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: you were Charlotte Grayson on ABC's drama Revenge. That also
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: so I rewatched that like a few months ago.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: That also slaps. Oh my, are you okay? I just
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: love you.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: When I met you at the iHeart Party, I was like,
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: holy fuck Holy it was like instant. It was instant connection.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: This this blew my mind. So you're a native Californian
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: and you're the youngest of nine siblings that I no
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: and I can't wait to deep dive into that. Christa
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: has spent much of her life in the industry. She
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: has recently expanded her reach beyond acting over the years, writing, producing,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: and fronting the musical duo.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Poor Vu did I say it? Yeah? This sexy accent, yeah,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Palfe si magnavique.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is gorgeous.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Yet no radibal applause for you. Welcome, thank you, thank
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: You know, the moment we met at the iHeart event,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like we instantly hit it off. And I
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: believe that saying where like the the eyes are the
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: window to the soul. Yep, and I loved your soul.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way. And it's not often that
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: you have such an instant connection with someone. No, I instantly, Yeah,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I felt the same thing. I was like, wait a minute,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: you're super spiritual, aren't you, And you're like the most
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: and then we got into the deepest topics in the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: first five minutes and it was incredible.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: It was incredible, and I felt so seen by you,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: like I brought up I think I was talking about
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: my kids or something, because you were there with your
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: friend Emily. Yes, and she was on my podcast years
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: ago and I just found her. I think I told
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: you this at the party, and I told Emily this,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: You're the reason why one of my nights dands is
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: full of lube because I asked her what's the one
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: thing that's so underrated, and she was like, lube.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Emily is a lube evangelist and a toy evangelist. She's
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: really opened my eyes to that whole world as well.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, Like, what like sex toys?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean obviously I wasn't like opposed to them before. Yeah,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: but the way she talks about them as like a
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: part of one's overall sex life rather than replacing something, right,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: just kind of integrating them into your sex life, which
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: for me at the moment is non existent. So dory
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: from that, they are replacing the sex life. Yes, yeah, yeah,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: they're standing in.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, I love that they're standing in.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use that.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a fan of the sex toys by the way,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: And you don't have to get too much into it,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: because I don't want to make you feeluncmfortable. I'mnna make
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: you feelunomfortable. Maybe just let me know and I'll shut
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: the fuck up. But when you're with your person or
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: whoever you're being intimate with, you need to have a
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: vibrator for his balls. And then I recently ventured into dildo's.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I know, I'm a whack job, but there's this one
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: that the setting it's just like it like just moves
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: like this, but then it has beads that then start
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: and then it has the hook on the top that vibrates.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, with toys that are being made like this,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: they will be replacing men. Truthfully, you don't even have
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: to say anything. That's that's my take.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I'm open to it all. And now that we've got Ai,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: you've got someone to talk to, you've got all the
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: physical parts of it's what's to miss.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, men should really be worried. They truly should be.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: They should really be. I sat with a friend of
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: mine the other night. He happens to be a homosexual
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: and has a bunch of close girlfriends, and he's like, girl,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: everyone's turning to the other side. Now everyone has a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: little lesbian relationship.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, really, I know, it's like, yeah, they've got
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: it figured out. Yeah, I'm one vagina away from that happening. Truthfully, Okay,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I have to ask you about this nine kids?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, what not?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: And were some oopsies or like was this the plan
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: for your parents? They always wanted a big family.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: It's not as scary as it sounds initially because it's
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: by marriage. So it's my mom and my stepdad. Oh yes, yeah,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: so my mom has four boys and my stepdad has
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: four boys. They all are, however, older than me, which
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: was kind of an interesting experience growing up.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, so your mom came into the relationship with four
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: boys and you, yes, and then the stepdad. And how
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: old were you when they got married.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I think I was seven or eight? Was that how
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: old was the oldest? I don't know. There's quite an
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: age difference, yes, but yeah, he's always been in the picture,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: so it kind of felt like we were a family, yeah,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: except for we've lived in different parts of the country,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: so we're not like physically close. That makes sense.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I have to imagine that they're very protective of.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: You, very protective.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It created this interesting combination in me which I kind
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: of feel like you have a similar energy, which is like,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I'm very, very tough okay at the core, but I
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: also was kind of treated like a princess because I
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: was the youngest and the only girl. So I have
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: this very like feminine, self delicate thing, but also don't
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: fuck with me, but also don't fuck with me.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I was having a conversation the other
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: day with how hard it is because I have a
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: younger brother who's thirty two, and then my older brother
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: from my dad's first marriage is almost fifty so and
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: there's so they're so kind and sweet, and my dad
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: was so kind and sweet, and I grew up with
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: nothing but amazing male faces around me. But I found
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: that when I went into the world, I was constantly
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: having to put on alpha energy and really embrace my
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: masculinity because in this day and age, the good men
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: are really hard to find. They're few and far between.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: So I have to match male energy because I'm constantly
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: going up against toxic masculinity, and I am dying for
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: the day that I can embrace my feminine side again.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Well, and the thing is, you're capable of it, right, yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm capable of it too, and so that side
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: can be brought out of you. What I've witnessed in
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: several circumstances I've been in is, you know, when this
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: type of man appears in my life, there might be
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: another woman around who presents herself as completely incapable of
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: showing up in that way of finding that like masculine
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: capable part of herself. Yeah, and the man ends up
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: running to save her. Oh so it's almost like weaponized
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: incompetence female version. Yeah. So because you're capable, because you
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: have that within you, they pull it out of you.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah, But if you didn't have
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: that in you, they couldn't bring it out of you. Wow.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I'll give you a really great example. So I was
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: on vacation one time with my Italian prince boyfriend when
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I was in my early twenties tell me more, Yes,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: and we're having a wonderful time, and my loud mouth,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: as always, was posting it all over Instagram, how wonderful
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: a time we were having in his family's castle in Italy,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and another girlfriend of his at home then developed a
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: tragic brain injury where you know, she hit her head
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: and was going to be unable to drive a car
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: or hold a job. Ever again, she was like actively
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: dying while we were having a great time on vacation. Yeah.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: So you know he had to be on the phone
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: the whole time with her, like taking care of her
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: all this stuff.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Now, when you say this was a girlfriend they were
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: like an intimate girlfriend or like just a friend that
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: was a girl, intimate girlfriend, intimate, yes, yeah, did you
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: know that he was being intimate with other girls?
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Yes? I did have an explored non monogamy at some
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: point in my life.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, love it.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But then of course as soon as we return
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: from vacation, she was fine. Oh, everything went completely back
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: to normal. But a really great way to you know,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: capture a man's masculinity and bring that out of him
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: is to be completely helpless. Wow. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: so a lot of I find that a lot of
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: women do it intentionally.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: You know what, You're opening my eyes a lot because
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: I have actually and and tell me if I if
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: you see things differently, men who are of a certain
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: age which is older than me, they say that they
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: love like an independent woman who has their own thing going,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: but they actually don't. They want someone that they can
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: take care of and baby and be the male presence. Right.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: The younger men, because they've grown up in a different generation,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: actually do want the woman to like thrive on her
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: own and be successful and have her own thing going.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: The older men want to save a chick. They do
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: not do well when there is a woman who can
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: put them in their place, who doesn't need them. It's
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: almost like they feel like we're taking their masculinity from them.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Have you found that. I have found that time and
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: time again. Or the other thing is they'll say they
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: want a really powerful, capable, successful woman. Yeah, and then
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: they will capture her, capture power and take all of
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: that shine away from her and cut her off at
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the knees and make her unable to work or you know,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: create that same success in her life. Yeah, they want
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: to take it away from her.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I talk about this all the time, like any of
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: my friends who are like, oh my gosh, he's going
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: to like pay my rent or and it puts me
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: back into a place where I'm like, no, no, no, he's
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: trying to take your independence. That's what's happening. You're looking
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: at it like, how kind and thoughtful He's taking some
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: pressure off of me. No, No, he is cutting you
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: off at the knees.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: He wants to own you, and he wants to control
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: you most of the time. Most of the times, there
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: are wonderful relationships. There are marriages that work out very
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: well where you know the man is taking the brunt
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: of the responsibility in that department. But yeah, I've found
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: in most cases they're trying to own you.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: What experiences did you have to lead you to that
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: thought process? Because I think at the iHeart party we
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: talked that you have you have dated people with tons
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: of money, no money, older than you, younger than you,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: like you've tried it all.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah, so many people know that I moved
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: to Miami for about three years.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: How old were you when you did that.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I just moved back in April, so that was yeah,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: so recently. Yeah, it just happened. It felt like this
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: kind of soul mission. I was really pulled there. I
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: didn't know why, but I really wanted to live there,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: and so I did and I learned a lot. But
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: it was interesting because just prior to leaving to Miami,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I dated someone who was literally homeless. I lived in
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: his car. Okay. I was very very successful at the time,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: like just doing you know, amazing work on TikTok and
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: very very successful, and he more or less would like
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: live with me and kind of bounce around. Okay. And
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: then when I moved to Miami, I dated someone who
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: was known in the community. I don't know his personal
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: financial details, but he was known in the community as
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: a billionaire. They would refer to him as a billionaire.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: It really ran the gamut, you know, because both of
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: those people, you know, the one that more or less
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: lived with me was like, Yeah, we're gonna have this
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: great life together. We're gonna be creators together. I'll help
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: you build your platform. He was a you know, a director, cinematographer.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: He's like, we'll do this together. Yeah, he was gonna
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: help me in that way, but then ultimately decided to
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: just go out and date a bunch of people, like
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: you know, girls on OnlyFans and like all this stuff.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: And then this same thing happened with the guy in Miami,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: like all the resources in the world, you know, could
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: so easily take care of me, and he would offer
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: to and then it was like he'd be like, come on,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: like move in with me, bring your bags, like like
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: get rid of your apartment, come move in with me.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Had this beautiful house on the beach, and as soon
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: as I would show up and be like, Okay, I'm
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: trusting you. You've you've damn near begged me to be
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: your girlfriend. You've courted me for months, You've asked me
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: to move in with you, and then the second I
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: would say yes, all of a sudden, he would be
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: seen around town with other women, what on dates with
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: other women, on vacations with this family, with other women.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So it's like they'll get you to agree to something
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: so that they have a woman at home, they have
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: their primary family, and then they go and or primary
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: relationship and go and seek more.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: You have, like the same outlook and experiences that I have.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Isn't that wild? And that's why I feel like I
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: have to talk about it all the time. And then
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I find that there are women out there who are
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: like they you know, you're a man hater, you're scorned,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: you're all of these things.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you should be saying, thank you.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I'm giving you the roadmap, the playbook on things to
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: look for when you go out and try to find
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: your person so that you don't end up in a
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: situation that you cannot get out of.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Exactly that. And it's not about being a man hater.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: It's about understanding what you're really dealing with. Because I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: think a lot of women are very naive about what's
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: really happening. I think so too, and they bury their
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: head in the sand. They're like, my husband would never,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend would never, and they don't know what's really happening.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: And someone like yourself and someone like myself, you know,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: we've got a bit of a platform. We look a
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: certain way, we're exposed to certain whatever experiences, and we
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: might have a more comprehensive picture of what's happening of
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: you know, somebody sliding into our DMS with the profile
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: photo is him and his wife smiling happily, and he's
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: like begging to take us on a date. I don't
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: know if you have this experience, but it's you know,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: for I.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Used to have a lot of those experiences. And then
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: when I became very vocal about my own situation and
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: just like it then became something that wasn't just about
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: my situation, but where I felt the need to tell
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: women like what kind of men could be among us?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: We look out for them, And all of this sudden,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: the man is very afraid of the law.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Law right because he spoke because he said something. Yep, yeah,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: because you're a you're not supposed to observe that it's
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: happening and be you're definitely not supposed to speak on it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: No, how dare you talk about it?
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: And all of a sudden you're this you know, woman
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: out of out of control. You're crazy because you what
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: did you do? You observed it and spoke about what
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: they did. I would say to you know, the person
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I did in Miami, he would like, take this other
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: girl on vacation or go out with her, and I'd
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: be like, please, could you not go on vacation with
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: another girl? And he'd be like, how dare you say
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: that to me? You are so you know, you're triggered
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: and you're unhinged because you said what I'm doing the
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: song that I did, I'm the I'm I'm the crazy
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: one because I said the thing that he did.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Were there moments were you allowed meant to gaslight you
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: and think and go, oh, this is my fault.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: The thing is La La. You don't end up in
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: these situations because somebody's being vague or unclear. Like when
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I moved back to La Yeah, I was in love
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: with someone. You don't move across the country for someone
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: that's like.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Eh, no, No.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: They are looking you in your eyes and saying, I've
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: never met anyone like you. I can't wait for our
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: future together. I can't like we would sit in the
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: back of an uber on the Sabbath and put He'd
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: be like, put our pictures into chat cheepet, let's see
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: what our future kids are gonna look like. That is
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: why you move across the country for someone. What the fuck?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Not because he's being kind of vague. Oh, it's because
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: you're making wedding plans, right.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Could you imagine I could never in a million years
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: sit across from someone and know that I've got this
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: whole life back here going on and tell them I
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: want you to move in with me.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I want to do this for real.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I could never.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, you're going out on dates with other people, just
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: say nothing, just say nothing. You can just say nothing.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: It's it's almost like a high for them. I think
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: there's a high in the catch, and then there's a
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: high in the getting caught, and then there's a high
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: in trying to keep.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So it's a gamble.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: It's a constant. They love the highest of highs, and
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: then they thrive in the lowest of low so that
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: they can get back up again. Yep. It's a lot, yep.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And those men are alive and well by the way
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I see them all the time, I'm like, ugh, I
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: know about you, and then I'm label oh.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a bitch, this is why you don't have a husband.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't have a husband because this is
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: what out there. You're in real time showing me why
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I don't want this. Yes, how did you end up
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: with the cult leader? And please break that down for me?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I would love to open this conversation just
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: by saying I used some very powerful words okay in
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: that TikTok, and I probably should have known better as
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: a person who has such a deep understanding of how
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: media works, that using the words cult leader would prompt
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: a reaction, and it did, and as a result, the
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: press really ran with it, and they started writing a
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: lot of things about that situation that I never said,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: and as a result, an organization and people that were
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: not involved in the situation at all and I had
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: nothing but lovely experiences with were kind of tied into
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: that conversation in the press. And I just want to
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: apologize for that. I love that because my situation was
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: with one person, okay, and the cult of personality and
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: cult of toxicity around this situation. Okay. So I just
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: want to say that. I love that you said that.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I've been in a program for my drinking today, I've
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: been sober seven years sober, and congratulations you. I appreciate that. Yeah,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: it's it's been very, very It's been a lot of
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: work too, that's beautiful. I don't knock on wood. I
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: haven't craved alcohol, but in the program, which I think
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: is beneficial for literally anybody, even if you don't struggle
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: with addiction, because they just try to teach you own
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: your part in things. And I think you saying that
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: and keeping your side of the street clean is massive
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: and I admire you for that because words are very powerful.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: And you know, I do reality TV, whereas like you
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: actually have a talent. I am not media trained, and.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So don't undersell yourself. What you do is it is
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: a talent and it's not easy and not everyone can
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: do it well.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you saying that. And I'm still having to learn,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Like when I go out and I'm talking, you know,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: what will the media pick up on? Because I'm just
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: so used to like living my life and being who
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: I am that I forget in certain moments like oh
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: this will be the headline. What I just said, it's
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: a lot to have to censor yourself and you can
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: feel however you want, but don't put that out there
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: or how do I change the wordings You do have
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: an out of body experience, and I can only imagine
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: when that popped up as the headline your nervous system
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: was shot?
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Do you know it actually doesn't affect my nervous system
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: anymore because it's happened to me so many times my life. Okay,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: so I was just sort of like, oh God, but
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I did. It did break my heart for the people
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: who might unintentionally be wrapped up in it that were
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: never anything but absolutely gorgeous to me, like beautiful people,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: beautiful experiences. But yeah, there is this recurrent theme, you know,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: where it seems like if you observe or call out
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: bad behavior, all of a sudden, you're the bad guy. Yeah,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: and it has become my platform in life to or
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: my mission in life, to just remind women of how
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: powerful they are. Yeah, nothing would exist or run in
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: the same way if it weren't for women. Nightclubs would
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: not exist. Men would not go to clubs if the
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: women weren't there. Restaurants would not exist in the same
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: way if women weren't. They're like, like, economies exist because
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: men are trying to impress women, Like we are these
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: goddesses that men are trying to impress. Yeah, you know,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: and I think it's so easy for women to forget
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: that and to forget their inherent connection with the divine right,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: and they get wrapped up in you know. I'm sorry
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: I keep using this like nightclub example, but I just
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: hear younger women, especially like, oh, he offered like me
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: to go sit on his table, or like a free
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: meal or a trip, or you know, to go on
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: a yacht or something, and they're like so dazzled by it,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: by these offerings of free things or dazzling experiences, not
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: understanding that the only reason that whole experience has value
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: is because the women are the right. If there are
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: no women on the yacht, there's no yacht.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Correct. I mean, you and I have both been to nightclubs.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: You roll up with a bunch of men, you're not
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: getting in, you're not getting in. You get one man
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: with a bunch of women, you're all getting in.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I know, the drill. But these women, they they're dazzled
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: by these experiences and they think they're getting some they're
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: being offered some gift, right, Yeah, not realizing that they're
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: actually giving up the most powerful thing that they have,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: which is their presence. Wow. And you know obviously a
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: lot of women will then end up like sleeping with
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: someone or whatever. That is like part of the deal, right.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Nobody tells you that at the beginning. Now, but it
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: becomes apparent at some point that if you're not flirting
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: with someone, sleeping with someone, going on a date with someone,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: why are you here?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Yep, you are.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: You are a product to be traded. You are a
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: part of this account and so none of those experiences
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: have any value if the woman's not there, So you're
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: not getting anything for free. It's not free.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: No, never you ever paying in your life force, Yes,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Bethany Frankel said if you and she used she used
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Mary when if you marry for money, you pay for
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: the rest of your life. I think anytime you do
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: anything where the value comes in the form of a dollar,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I'm spending money on a yacht, I'm spending money on
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: a dinner or a nightclub experience, you are then going
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: to have to pay for me with your soul. And
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: I never realized that until I started gaining the thirty
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: thousand foot view and realizing, wow. My mom always told me,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: and although she you know, I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah,
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: although she never experienced this sort of life, she always
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: told me, you continue. And my parents were very happily married. Right,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: You always keep your independence. If a man comes in
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: and wants to take care of you, you continue to work,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: You continue to shove your pennies away. And thank god
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I listened to her in that moment, because a rainy
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: day will come. You don't know what form it's going
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: to come in, whether it's infidelity, your man hits on
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: hard times and can't you know, afford the lifestyle anymore.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: You're at some point going to have to use your
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: rainy day fund. Yes, right, yes, And I never experienced.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: I always experienced like come and have the free dinner,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: or you know, you're invited on a yacht.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Thank goodness.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know if the universe just didn't have that
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: in store for me. Most would probably use my ex
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: as an example, but for me, I was like, I
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: was into him. But I did see a lot of
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: girls who would come out and they were living these
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: like their instagrams were crazy. I was like, this girl
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: lives the fucking life.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Cut to where we are now. She's back living in
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Idaho and has found a great guy, but has you know,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I'm sure had some experiences in the big city that
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: chewed her up and spit her out. And it's very
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: sad to me because you're right, you do think like, oh,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: they're offering this to me. You feel like it's a gift,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: and it's not a gift. Yeah.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Well, and it's the way it's presented to you and
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: to me, there are so many parallels to the experiences
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I had growing up in Hollywood, where you know, half
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: of the opportunities that come your way, it's like, well,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: we don't have budget, but it's an amazing opportunity for
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you to come spend your life force energy for a
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: week a month, giving it to our project where we
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: make money. Yeah, but not for you.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but see, you get to be here. You get
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: to be here. How lucky are you? But I feel
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: like you and probably myself, we become a liability to
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: the system because we see it for what it is.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: That's why they get so angry when we speak.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: So I'm wondering because you started acting at the age
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: of nine. You were put into like you said, you
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: wanted to do acting classes, and you like really dove
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: into Hollywood, yes, and the lights. Did you feel like
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: you were in the cult?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Okay? So again, the word cult was probably not the
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: right word to use. What would it be, okay, cult
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: of personality? I don't know. I honestly don't know the
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: right term to use. Okay. All I can say is
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I would not have moved across the country to be
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: with someone had there not been a very clear, you know,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: trajectory for our future.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: There was, like like it was a very beautiful relationship,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: and I was doing a job that was not perfect,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you know, it was not the ideal thing for me
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: to do be doing at the time, but it did
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: pay the bills. And he gave me an ultimatum, okay,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: that I could be with him and quit my job
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: or not be with him and keep my job. So
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: prompted me to move, forced me to quit my job,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: and then I found myself in a situation where I
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: was essentially part of a very large group mmm, Okay
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: that I didn't know about, or I would not have
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: moved across the country. Right, consider this means selling all
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: my stuff. I moved with my dog like it's a
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: big undertaking, right. And then when I got here, I
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: found out there were all these others.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Like you, other women, yes, okay, and periphery.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: But the craziest part was that everyone else seemed to
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: be okay with it.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, but like La La,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: if you if you date someone and you guys have
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: a sexual relationship and it's the whole thing, that man
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: for me is off limits for the rest of our lives. Yeah,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I'm the same way. I don't look at that person.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I don't like that is your man, even if he's
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: your axe, that's your thing. But you know, there was
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: this whole crew of like people who we're all friends
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: and all okay with it, and then they would go
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: on vacation and it like everyone was okay with it.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I wonder if he gave everyone else the heads up,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: like if he was more forthcoming or if it was
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I also think.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think so, because girls do not end up
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: in the situation where they're moving for someone if they
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: don't think they're the only one.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, I'm saying this, and we're
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: not using his name, but to me, it sounds like
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: a grooming process. What's happening?
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, you know, and these girls would they would watch
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: him with not the act itself, but they would see
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: him with girl after girl after girl and just be
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: like okay, and they would still go for it and
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: still be all in you know, which is.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Just not me. It's just not me.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: It sounds very dark. It's very dark. And the weirdest
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: part for me is how everyone's okay with it.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I don't think they are okay with it. I think
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: numbing happens and whatever however you want to take that.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I think that people sink into being comfortable, like even
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: in the unhappiest of just a cookie cutter marriage, you
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: fall into. But I'm comfortable here, like I know what
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: it is. Right. They got there, a grooming process happened.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: They have no independence, they have nowhere to go.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: They they because their independence is taken from correct, they move,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: they become absorbed into the ecosystem. But I just for me,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I could not function in that world.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: How quickly after you arrived did you say no, I'm good,
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I'm out of here.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Well things started happening pretty quickly, and then there was this,
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: For example, one trip, he went away and I started
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: getting phone calls from friends, and you know, he came
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: back and was just crying and knocked on my door
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: at two in the morning and was I'm so sorry,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: like like please, I'm so sorry, you know, and I
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: accepted the apology, of course, and he was like, don't worry,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: like nothing happened. We're good, Like everything's fine, let's just
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: be us again. And you know, I opened the door
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: and I let him in. Shit, and then find out
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: after the fact that she was asleep, you know, another
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: another person is asleep.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: In his bed where he's in my bed.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. And I just can't imagine, Like I
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: would not be able to sleep, No, me neither thinking
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: that my person is in someone else's bed. No, I
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: would not be able to sleep. I don't know how
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: they function. I just don't. I don't get it.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: That's why I think a numbing process is happening as well.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: And that's just me saying I think I think, you know, yeah, but.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Then there's all this other yeah. I mean, I believe
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: in the power of manifestation and you know, aligning to
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: things that are meant for you and all this stuff.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I have a very deep spiritual practice, so when we
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: connected on that level, it was like, oh finally somebody.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he probabs me. He didn't even connect with
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: you on that level.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: He knew how to wrap you up, and that's exactly it.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: He will look you in your eyes and say you
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: manifested this. Yeah, And then you get on the private jet. Oh,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: how fun, and he'll say you made this happen. And
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: then you check into the penthouse and he'll be like,
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: aren't you powerful, la llah you did this? Oh shit.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: So you think, oh, I manifested this incredible situation, But
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: it's not at all what it seems. And I think
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: that there should be some sort of recompense in this
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: lifetime for people who lie to the point where it
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: like break someone else's reality, you and me both.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Because then you start questioning your spirituality and what's real,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: and you go through a tremendous amount of I don't
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: even want to say healing. But once you're removed from it,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: you're sitting there looking in the mirror and you don't
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: even know who you are anymore. Where your whole life
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: was built off of the fact that you know who
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: you are and you're spiritually in tuned, and when that
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: is kind of taken away from you due to someone else,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: you have a moment of feeling like just a shell
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: of a human You're just a capsule.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And it's because of the lying. And so anytime I
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: ended up in a situation like that, it always came
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: back to my relationship with God. Yeah, and that's I
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: think for women especially. Yeah, if you have a spiritual practice,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: it is the one, you know, saving grace in those situations.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: I think so too. And if women can just remember
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: every day of their lives that they are connected to God.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: God is their business partner, God is their husband, God
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: is their best friend, you know, in everything they do,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: then these situations can't break you. They can't actually hurt you,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: they can't actually touch you, because you are perfect, whole
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: and complete with your creator.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what was your first big gig?
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Because it's interesting to me that you were in this environment.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: And I feel like men like that who are like,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: look at this gift I have for you, they kind
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: of pray on the people who don't they haven't quite
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: reached their goal. But you were very young, when you
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: were on thirteen going on thirty.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, I found incredible success very young and I'm
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: so grateful for that, and it obviously has propelled me
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: in many ways to this day. But it's interesting because
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I really got in the industry I was seven, you know,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: and when I told my mom I wanted to do this,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and my only driving force was wanting to tell stories
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: and to connect people.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Wow, at the age of seven, that was your thought process.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I wanted to tell stories and I would be like
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: putting on performances in my living room and I would
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: require my family to come, and I would also charge
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: them a nickel and like for you, the hustle from
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: a young age, Capricorn moon would shining. Yeah, So that
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: was always my goal. Like, I didn't have this idea
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: of fame or all the other aspects that play into it. Yeah,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: And so I learned about those later on, and all
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: of that has been really hard for me because at
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, I still just want to
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: tell amazing stories and connect people. Yeah, And then you
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: end up in all of these like silly power games,
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: and you know the politics of how the whole industry works,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and you're like, but I just.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: Want to tell stories, right, Like the seven year old
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: girls still exists, like deep in you where that's all
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: you want. You're like, I don't need the flashing lights.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be famous. I just want to
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: tell a fucking story.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you have all these and then you
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: kind of get this success and this fame and notoriety whatever,
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: and you have all these people around you like, yeah, girl,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: you're famous, Like doesn't it feel good to be famous?
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, it fucking sucks, especially if you
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: don't have the finances to back it up. Being famous
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: is not a pleasant experience in almost any way, except
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: for the way that you can help people, right, Nothing
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: about it is. The plot is great, it's hard to
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: keep up. You don't feel a sense of like privacy
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: in public. Okay, it's only nice if you also have money.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: So then, was thirteen going on thirty your first like bait?
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Would you consider that your big break?
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah?
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: How old were you?
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I was eleven when we shot it?
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: That is crazy?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so your mom obviously was with you on set? Yes? Yeah? Okay?
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: And were you intimidated or were you just excited?
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I was so intimidated. Yeah, It's like this whole new world.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: None of my family was in the industry. My family
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: are blue collar workers, like, yeah, so far removed. So
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: it was very exciting.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: And then after that, were you just like, I do
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: love this.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: It is what I want to do. I want to
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: live on set day in and day out. Yes. Yeah,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: And I loved the work ethic that it required.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: There is something very magical about a set, it is, right, yeah, yeah,
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: and every like the actors walking you know, from set
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: to their trailer with their their sides in their hand
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: and like crossing things out and talking to the director
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: like I would like to say it in this soil,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's so, it's such a beautiful collaboration. It is,
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: yeah and so And I've never done anything like you.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: But when you got to doing series, was there a
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: huge difference between filming a film versus a television show.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Yes? For me, yes, the difference between film and TV
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: is film has an end date, okay, which I really love.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: You know where the stories go, you know the whole story. Yeah,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: you know your character arc. Some TV shows that are
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: also pre written as well, but film has an end date.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It's almost like life really only has so much meaning
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: because you know it's gonna end. Yeah, makes it really beautiful,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: like it's finite and a TV show could go on forever, right,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: could keep going. And I have so much respect for
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: the people who end up on shows for like ten
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: years whatever. But often it cultivates this feeling of like
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: people just get tired. They get burnt out, Like it's
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: you know, if you live for two thousand years, at
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: some point you'd be like.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I'm tired, right, I'm just tired.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: You know, I've seen it all, I done it all.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Where else can we go with this? So TV can
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: be a bit like it's work, you know, and it's
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: there's there's not always a finite end date for some shows, yes,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: but I like the finite experience of doing a film.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: So remind me, how did you die in Revenge?
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: She was sent to rehub? Was that like your final
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: and then she came back? No, she didn't die, but.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: You were sent somewhere. You were sent to rehab.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: She was sent to rehub. Yes, but was your story finished? No?
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: She came back for the last episode. Yeah, Charlotte kind
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: of wrapped the whole thing up. Charlotte was like a
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: secret little mastermind on that show.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she brought county energy and I loved it.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: I loved it.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: She was fantastic, just the way that she would maneuver
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: and just like that, that like East Coast wealth. I
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: just anytime it's a part of a television show, I
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: eat that shit up.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: It's so good.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna watch that tonight.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Where are you from Salt Lake City, Utah? Oh that's right? Yeah, yeah,
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: So have you spent much time on the East Coast?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: I mean just like going out to New York and
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: doing like little gigs. But I mean I've never been
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: to the Hampton.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Neither have I?
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: How wild is that?
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, let's go take me somewhere cool, ala on, Krista,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: take the Hampton please.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know why I've never, like why we never
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: traveled there. It was always like, you know, I tend
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: to gravitate towards like warm, cozy beaches.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not tropical.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Take me somewhere where it's like swimsuits, tanskit not like
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: the linens and flowy dresses. But now as I'm getting older,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I want the booge I want the bouginess. Yes,
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: do you think the comfort? The comfort? I want? Like
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: the Hampton's looking home and I want you to take
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: me to like a crab bake or whatever the fuck
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: those things are I'm talking about, or a clam bake,
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: clam bake, clam bake, crab bake.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: We would always use that. There was an episode of
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Revenge where we did a clam bake and for some reason,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: it was such a hard episode to shoot, like things
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: were just like dragging on it. Nothing was working, and
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: we'd be like, clam bake, and then that became the
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: joke for the rest of the series. You'd be like,
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: clam bake anytime something wasn't working, clam bake.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: Love it. Love the inside jokes that develop on said,
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: it's so fun. I do want to talk to you
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: about this musical porv. Yes, so how did you have
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: you always been into like the theater?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: I love music, okay, all music. Yes, I'm very into
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: sound healing and I think the future of medicine is
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: in frequency and vibration. And I don't know if you've
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: seen the videos in India where they like heal people's
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: broken bones with sound and the whole future of healing
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: is going towards frequency. Okay, anyway, that is side obviously,
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: I just love music. Who doesn't? But I had my
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: former fiance was a music producer. Okay, so it was
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: the perfect opportunity to realize my long held dreams of
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: being in a band. So we had a little band.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Are you joking?
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: No, you're in a band?
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, it doesn't exist to me longer a bit.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: But you what did you do in the band?
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Instruments? Vocals? So we wrote the songs and I sang
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: them and he produces the music. Wow?
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Are you still in communication with him? Like you stayed friends?
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: We have stayed friends. We have stayed friends this whole time.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: He recently got engaged again.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: So okay, boundary, Yeah, it's boundary, but but yeah, so
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: much love for him.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: Who is your favorite musician? Would you say? Ooh?
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Immediately Bowie comes to mind. I don't know why that,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: prince like, I just love I love musicians who use
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: their music to convey something like deeper you know, yeah,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: I totally get that.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: I have to say right now, I'm really bumping Cardi
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: B's new album. Yes, I cannot check enough. She has
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: this song with Lizzo and Lizzo's part is I do
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: think I'm a nut? Four non blondes.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: What's up? Okay? And it is just it, it's just
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: so Ship, and I can't say nothing, Hannah, motherfucker tell me,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: and then you have to sing that part.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: I only know the rise sometimes when a line in bit,
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: just to get it all out, what was in my head?
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: And I I'm feeling a little pecuio. So give in
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: the morning and step outside and I take a deep breath.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Then I get really and I screamed from the top
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: of my muse what's going on? Oh my god, we're
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: so fucking good. We have to karaoke together? Please and Ship,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: I'm so horny.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Now are we falling in love? Yes?
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: Wait, what's your go to karaoke song?
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: What's up? Is my go to karaoke song? However, I've
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: been working with my like his name's Jared. He's big
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: and gay and fabulous, and we're going to perform shallow.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: We're working on it. We're working on it. I will
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: not give you a preview because we're not quite there.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, later when the cameras later, when.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: The cameras at out. But I'm totally inviting you because
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I love the moment we just share. I don't know
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: what it sounds like, but my cup is full. So
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: I want to know when you heard that you were
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: going to portray the Jennifer Garner, what did you experience
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: when you got the call?
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: I screamed and ran around the house. And I don't
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: think I've ever been so excited or grateful in my
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: life really. Yeah, but it also, you know, everything felt
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: so right. You're super spiritually, and you'll understand, like I
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: think that everything that happens in our lives is supposed to,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: like anything that is meant for you will be for you,
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: and there's nothing you can do stop it, and if
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: it's not for you, there's nothing you can do to
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: make it be yours. Yeah, So I don't know, it
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: just it felt so right. Yeah, I'm so grateful for
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: the projects I've been able to be a part of
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: because they feel right for me totally, And even in
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: the periods like I've had obviously long periods where I
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: haven't worked, and it feels like that's part of the
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: story too. I know I will again and I'm not worried.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: I always say, I feel like our stories were written
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: in the Star as well before we even arrived, Like
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: there was a plan and even when something doesn't make sense,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: and I also follow it up with this maybe something
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: that I just tell myself to make myself feel better
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: about the circumstances. And I believe that rejection is God's protection.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: I learned from her. Name's Amber. She's like my sister wife.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: We share a baby daddy. But she said I don't
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: want anything that's not mine, And I was like that,
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: just you can want something so badly and if it
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: doesn't happen for you, you have to just know it's
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: not it's not yours. How can you want something that
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: isn't supposed to be yours?
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Right? And you may get it, even you could, you
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: could strong arm your way into getting it, but it
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: won't be blessed. No.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: And I love that you said that, because when I
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: continue to fight for something and i'm I continue to
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: be blocked, I take a step back and I say,
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: I'm not fighting for this anymore. Yeah, because there is
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: a reason, and my higher power is showing me over
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: and over again that it's not meant to be. And
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: if I continue fighting for it, I will get it.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: And it's going to go to shit, Yeah, it will.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: It will almost punish you yes, like you wanted it
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: have it here?
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: You go like I did everything I could possibly do
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: to show you that this is not right. Yes, and
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: you continue to go against me. Yes, we are so
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: in sync. Dude. I can't even tell you what was
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: your relationship like with I feel like I can't call
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: her jen Jennifer Garter on each of like on the set,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: was it like I just I feel just knowing myself
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: at eleven, the age that you were when you were there,
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: just intimidated by life. I have to imagine you were
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: way more confident.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: But what was she like to you? I was, Yeah,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I was nervous, but I've also just always been very
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: like bubbly, so which.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Is perfect because I feel like every time I see
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: Jennifer Garner trying to give me a capital one card,
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm getting it.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: She's so bubbly and that's really who she is. And
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: and you know, my experience of her was so beautiful.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: She was such a great mentor to me. She was
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: so she understood that I was a baby and I
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: need I need a guidance, you know, and she really
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: we didn't spend a whole lot of time on set
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: together because we were playing the same character, so we
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: didn't share scenes, right, but the interactions we did have,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: she was so beautifully just helpful and warm and support Yeah.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: And to this day, I don't experience a whole lot
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: of that in the industry, even people who are like
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: very close friends, like when it comes down to it,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: they don't actually support you, they will turn the other cheek.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: But with her, there was a warmth and a guidance.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: And I just hope to also be that to women.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: And Jennifer Garner really had a way of like just
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: being kind and warm and welcoming and helpful no matter
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: what the situation was.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: Have you been on set with younger children where you've
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: kind of taken on how she treated you when you
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: were in that situation.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you for Yeah, yeah, you tied that together beautifully. Yeah.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: So yes, and that's what I want to how I
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: want to show up for women now.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: In other words, yeah, I think sometimes there's like this
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: tension between people for no reason. Yeah, And if we
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: all are just a little more mindful and there for
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: each other and helpful, like we can overcome those situations
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: and those miscommunications. And she really taught me that and
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: not even in like a specific thing that she did,
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: but just her presence.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: The presence, you know, yes, the vibration. Yes, I'm all
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: about the vibration.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: She's not competitive. You know, women, especially in this industry,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: can be very competitive and very petty and spiteful. She's
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: she's just warm and kind.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: So wild that you say that, because so often as
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: I'm doing reality TV, I'm like, I should have tried
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: harder as an actress, because I bet that that industry
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: they just like uplift each other and it's kind and
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: nice and they're all about aircraft. You saying that makes
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: me feel like, oh, it's the same type of reality
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: that I'm living. That portion just isn't documented.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I shared recently, I started a substack and in
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: my first post, I shared the experience I had on
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: a set where we were all the cast was sharing
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: a small cabin with not secured Wi Fi, and it
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: resulted in basically somebody hacking into my iCloud and leaking
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: everything in my eye cloud because there was tension on set.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: And that happened when I was in my mid twenties,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: and it started this sort of like snowball effect in
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: my life where like suddenly my nudes were on the internet.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: What so all of my boundaries were violated. That floodgate
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: was open, you know, and not by choice. I am
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: so sorry so these things, Yeah, it definitely happens a wow,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: so it gets dirty.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: When you think about, like, I go back to me
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: being in my twenties, and it's like, although I'm not
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: a baby, when I'm dealing with someone in their twenties,
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: they're young. Yeah, it's a very vulnerable stage of life
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: because you're looked at as someone who's supposed to be
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: an adult, but your frontal love hasn't even fully formed.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: It's a lot. I can't even imagine that happening to me,
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: not by choice.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, I'm like getting phone calls from
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: my parents like like that was not me intended.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, I do you text or talk to Jen Garner?
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Jen, No, we've never had like a friendship in that
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: way because we were so young. Yeah, when we met,
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: I was child and she was an adult. But she
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: has like very kindly sent me messages for my birth
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: the thirtieth birthday and things like that. So I love that. Yeah,
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: she's really lovely and supportive.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: Have you ever heard that they would do a sequel
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: to thirteen going on thirty?
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: Everyone is requesting it, Well they need to do it. Uh.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: You know, whoever owns that ip, you're just sitting on
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: a gold mine there, right, Sony?
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: So Mark, is it ruffalo or ruffalo? He doesn't fucking age.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: He looks like the same human you can play your boyfriend.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: But you know what they did do is they made
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: a musical. They did the musical that's right. Yeah, it
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: just opened in Manchester in the UK, by the way,
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: and that also went viral. They posted about the musical
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: ten million views. Shut the front, this door has endless
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: guests like people just want to see this story.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: You should be.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: In that girl. I agree, Yeah that was my audition.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: By the way, you have to Okay, so open in Manchester.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: That means it's not on Bravo in New York yet? Right?
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: What did I say, brodo Bravo? We know where I am.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: It's not on Broadway.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Broadway.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, where am I? It's not on Broadway in
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: New York yet? So this is me telling Broadway that
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: you have me.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: I got too Broadway.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: With all of that beauty that you just put out
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: into the universe. And I really hope that all of
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: my listeners take that with them today. What is next
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: for you?
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: I'm launching my own podcast yay.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, amazing.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: What is the podcast called. It's called prey Date Okay.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: I love this and what and what is prey Date about?
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: Prey Date is your commitment okay, to yourself and your
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: connection with the divine. So do you have a co
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: host on this? Yes? Who's the co host? Victoria Daniel?
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: Did I meet her at the iHeart Party? You did?
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: Ye? I loved her too. I know exactly what you're
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: talking about. I got her contact. When can we find
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: your podcast prey Date?
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: And where? Prey Date launches on eleven eleven? Oh, one
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: of my most favorite dates. Yes, I'm credit here. I
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: love it. Yes, and it'll be everywhere you find your podcast. Perfect.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited about that.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you you guys, I love you so much. Thank
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for the
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: bonus and again next week. Bye.