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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Language and Motion of Humility 3.17.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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Let me just see, OK, See, yesterday we brought up the
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humility in action reveals itself in different ways, the
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way a person reacts and acts or reflective as humility.
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And he said the four examples were he carries himself with
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chaflout, which means he carries himself an unassumed manner.
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He's able to handle insults as a sign of humility.
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Person hates, they call it hate. The rap in it means mean hates
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authority, does not care to be in a position of authority per
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SE. And he's willing to give Cavo to
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other people. As I mentioned yesterday in
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detail, that means if you see someone you recognize every
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person you see, you make sure you say hello to every person
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you see. That is actually a reflection of
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your own humility. Now let's talk about the
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language talk first. How you talk, right?
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How you speak to other people is a sign on medium mode BT Boro.
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OK, how you speak now, that means you can judge and you can
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figure out whether a person is humble or not based on the
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language and the way they speak. I'm I tell the people always
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speak gently. Pleasant, big, pleasant, the
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words of the rabbis. When they're pleasant, they're
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heard, they're accepted. People are going to handle
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things that said pleasant. The way you speak to other
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people should be with respect, without degrading them.
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Now disparaging them, if a person embarrasses his friend,
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he's lacking in his heart, he's lacking in character and they
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say in the Barnum characters are unconscious.
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He's missing something inside that the guy embarrasses his
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friend, right. Vomit Devoto Shah Bagan booze
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along with the coming of of of a Shah comes embarrassing.
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So the idea of telling you over here is is that you can tell
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what's humble, who's humble, who's not humble based on the
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way they speak. But yet we can act humbly with
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the manner with which we speak to other people.
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And that is if you talk tough, it's a reflection of arrogance.
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If you talk strong, you embarrass.
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These are all reflections of arrogance, all right.
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And the, the theme is you break it down even stronger.
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Why is embarrassing, talking tough, degrading, disparaging
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all these different terms, reflections of arrogance?
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Very simply because anyone who does that believes in that
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conversation. But I'm worth something until
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it's always not. I'm I'm an important person and
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they're not. So I should shamble them because
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I'm in a good place and they're not.
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Let's put the whole picture on the table.
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Let's put the two of you equal footing everything on the table.
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Let's put your whole life on the table and you might be shambling
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in one area. What about the other area?
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Maybe he's better than you in that area.
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I said took a whole picture of the whole person and let's be
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humble. No one speak to people the right
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way. And he's telling you that the
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Hakamim, the real righteous people know that the way to
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speak is pleasant. The way to speak is with
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respect, pleasant and with respect reflect the same
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concept. And that is the other person
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exists too. And as we know, at the core of
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humility is leaving room for another person.
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The core of humility is saying, I'm not so sure that I am
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everything. I believe that there's another
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person here as well, and they deserve their existence too.
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You said from the beginning, arrogance is a reflection of the
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fact that I'm the only thing that exists.
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Humility is a reflection of the fact that others, whether be
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Hashem or the people, exist. And talking to another person,
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pleasantly, talking to another person with giving them a chance
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to speak, not disparaging them, not speaking down to them, not
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insulting them, not being louder than them, All those different
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forms are reflection of the fact that you recognize that they are
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here too, and therefore go further.
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Even if they made a mistake, there's still people too, even
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if they're doing something wrong, and still tell them about
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the team, too. And based on that mindset, I
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understand that this can lead to, you know, people believing
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that everything's OK. And it could lead to people
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saying, OK, so you can never review.
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Not the point. The point is, yeah, that's the
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point. TADA has very strict rules.
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TADA has a very strict existence.
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Very strict to a tee, to an inch to the to the last.
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Iota is so exact and so it's so strict.
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Unbelievable. Yet at the same time as they
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were just Cory the horn of the Shalom.
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Our Tada's ways are pleasant and all its roads lead to peace.
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How do you know we know the world today?
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If you reflect the second thing and you misunderstand that
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second statement, you end up thinking that it leads to, as
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they call it, kumbaya. Everyone gets along.
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Everyone accepts everything. No, we're not accepting
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everything. We do not accept everything.
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We're not OK with things that are wrong.
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OK. But when you're dealing with
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another person, especially in your speech, you talk to them
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with respect. You treat them like they exist.
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You don't talk down to them. You don't disparage them.
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You don't yell at them, you don't do all that, because those
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are all reflections of the fact that I believe in my language
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that I am greater than them. And that's not the right thing,
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OK. And anyway, even if sometime
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people are far between calls for that, the average situation in
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life is not one that you're dealing with.
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A person is a terrible person. The average situation you're
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dealing with, a person who might have made a mistake might be off
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on this area or that area. And if that's all there are in
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general, they deserve the respect.
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And if you want to be a Homer person, you talk to them that
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way because you allow them to exist.
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When you literally shamble another person where you're
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saying in your eyes is that they're not here.
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They deserve to be railed upon. They deserve to be taken down
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because they don't exist. And that is a great reflection
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of arrogance. And the opposite is it
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unbelievable reflection of humility.
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That's the idea. What about the guy who's he
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doesn't shamble, but when he talks, he he he talks in a nice
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way, but he's. Aggressive in his so he's
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delivered. The big thing is this, a lot of
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people, this is a major misconception.
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A lot of people have natural tendencies that are not really
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their character, which means they don't really reflect.
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So you can have a guy who was a, you know, a big, burly, strong
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looking guy and anything comes out of his mouth sounds tough.
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He's a nice guy, sweetest person in the world.
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He want her to fly, he's caring, he's sensitively, gentleness,
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all the beauties. Nothing wrong with that guy.
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Let the big, That's not arrogance.
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A even a small guy that yeah, that's loud.
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That's not arrogance. That's not arrogance 100% that
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arrogance sounds. It's just the way he was raised,
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the way he was born. It's his makeup and that's not
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arrogance. But when he shambles someone,
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that's not the person, that's the words that came out of his
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mouth. And that's a problem.
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That's the point. You're right.
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Now the ultimate theme is that we tried to have, which is that
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the physical makeup reflects the character.
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So the best way is pleasant, which is actually pleasant.
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So he's a soft smoking person, but you and I both know you can
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have a soft smoking person who's an abusive, verbally abusive
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disaster. There's been a lot of those.
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And you could have a guy who's a tough speaking person, who's a
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who's literally, what do they call them?
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He's just the sweetest person around.
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Both physical makers are like likely the the simplest,
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clearest way of looking at things are where the sweet and
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the pleasant plays into the Karen.
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But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes a person can be sweet
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and pleasant and verbally abusive, or they can be tough
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and loud and as soft as a feather.
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That's the way people are. That's all fine.
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The ultimate goal is the character reflection version,
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which is what is he really nice guy or not a nice guy And you
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can tell all the time. Takes a minute.
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You can tell all the time, regardless of how tough the
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person talks, if he's a caring, sensitive, humble person or not.
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That's the point. Now let's talk about their walk.
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About their walk, which means an unbelievable reflection and test
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of whether a person is humble or arrogant is how they walk.
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They strut, head up, head down, red carpet, the whole deal.
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Anything he says. Shalahou MI Tam.
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They sent us a line from there. Ezo Ben Alamaba.
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Who is the person who merits Alamaba and Vatan Ushwal Better
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one. What did they say?
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One who's modest and walks humbly.
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OK. Shayeb.
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Ayel Shayeb. Nothing.
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He goes in bent down and he leaves bent down.
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OK, do not walk with an erect posture with the back up and
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head high. Some people have backs like
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that. That's a different story.
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Let's see walk in the streets of Manhattan.
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Let's see walk exactly ever walk by those people and you can't
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tell they they think like they're very CE OS of Oh, you
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have to be aware that's 100% the law became a dude Gadot don't
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work in a heavy don't walk in a heavy way a cave beside Gadot
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Goodall. I mean literally the guy walks
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and makes a perfect setup where his heel is by the lines up with
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his front toe. He's walking in a perfect walk
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and that walk is a reflection of applicants.
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All right, so now the point is we'll see a little more of this
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in a second. Now again, you can say a
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person's physical makeup changes.
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I understand. But in general, if a person's
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conscious, and I've seen this and you've seen this many times,
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a person's consciously has a very organized, worked out and
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strong looking walk that is a reflection of a degree of
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arrogance. That's the way he's talking and
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that is that walk. If it's head held high, erect
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posture, what he is saying again is I am here, look at me,
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recognize me, I'm walking into the room.
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All the ideas of humility are meant to be reflections of the
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person not taking themselves so seriously.
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The best thing you can be in humility is relax.
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You're another person, it's another day, all good all the
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same. Chill out, don't make such a big
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deal of yourself and talking down to people is not relaxing.
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And walking this way, carrying themselves to head out the eye
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is also a sign they're not relaxed, a little tense, right?
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Exactly. They're working on this too
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hard. And that's why, as I see with
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people, the way they dress, similar idea we'll see all
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across the board now a lot of people today, especially in the
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old days, it was more cut and dry.
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If you do this, you, you stand with the head out the eye,
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you're arrogant. Came over today.
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People do it because they have come, they have employees and
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they do it because they think they need to.
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They do it maybe because the the the the parents told them, like
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my parents told me many times. But you back up all that stuff
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great. So when you back very nice, I
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understand, but it's still in general is a pretty strong,
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excuse me, limbus tests. That's the arrogance up against
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him. Really.
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It's not perfect because I think it's confidence, not arrogance.
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That's the point. The point is if the person take
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themselves too seriously, they can fake it like it's
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confidence. It really is arrogance.
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Now, sometimes a therapist or their parent or their wife,
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whatever, told them you need to carry yourself like you work
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something. You need to believe in yourself,
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OK? They're working on themselves
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and therefore they're pushing the limits a little bit in the
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arrogant activity for the sake of confident outcome.
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Understood. But in general, natural reflex,
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natural knee jerk reaction if the guy is conscious to walk
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haha. With the handheld eye, that's a
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physical display of a mental feeling of arrogance.
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And so far verbally and walk the way you talk and the way you
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walk, you can test the person by the way they display who they
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are. And both these things are the
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same exact point. And really across the entire
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board of humility and arrogance, same point as well, which is on
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the person walks the head out of the eye.
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What they are saying is I'm here.
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The saying is look at me. They may not be saying that so
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clearly 'cause they make it like they don't care about anybody,
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but the joke is the most arrogant people are the most
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self-conscious people, and their self-conscious specifically up
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how much of a stance is my walking in the room affect,
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right? How many people?
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Look at it how everyone look at me.
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How relevant am I? How existent am I?
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All that is a reflection of the arrogance and that is displayed
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by the way they walk and the way they talk, right?
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They talk softly, that's humility.
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They talk strong. That's arrogance.
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It talks fast. That can be a reflection of your
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Moody. You talk slow, extra slow.
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That is a sign of arrogance. You realize that if you talk
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extra slow, like everyone's hanging on your very word and
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every and every word and people are waiting for your next line,
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that is very often a sign of he takes himself to his relax.
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Not that big a deal, all right? Like you're saying words and
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you're pausing and I'm waiting and you're saying and I'm
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waiting. That right there is you think
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that you're about to drop the line of the century.
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Relax. That's also a reflection of
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artists, right? El Elon 453 Rather, the way a
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person should walk is Kader Koholek Lasakam a busy person.
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Walk like you're busy. Walk like you're headed to your
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next destination. Not like your your every step is
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wow, is world shaking. No, no, no, they keep going.
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Let's move on. Get to your work that the
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office, get home, get to the wedding.
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Don't make a look like the walk to that wedding and you've seen
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it many times when you walk, watch your walk out of wedding.
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They're taking that slow struck. Maybe it's because they're with
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their wife. I don't know.
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But they take that walk and you're right behind them and
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you're waiting them to go because you have to get their
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next wedding or you have to get to the engagement party or you
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have to get home and you're like literally people have nothing to
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do. They're walking so slow, but
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they take that walk and they're leaning backward and it's as if
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they have weights on the heels. Not the woman, the man have
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weights on the heels because they are taking their time.
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Why? Because they're not walking to a
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destination. They're walking for the sake of
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walking. That right there is arrogance
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because I believe that my very presence is powerful.
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All right, Kaka, that's the way it is.
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So he's telling you, the way you identify what humility in your
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walk is going to your next destination.
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You're hurried, you bend down, you're not really thinking about
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the people who are right there, whether they're seeing you or
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not. You're simply on your way
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because life is a very much a moving train.
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Not if you're arrogant. Because if you're arrogant, life
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stops by the fact I need to be here.
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I need to be recognized where I am.
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I need to be considered present and relevant in the position
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that I am now. The ultimate core of arrogance
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is the world doesn't exist. I just do and my do do do.
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My destination doesn't really exist.
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I do in his current form, which means my walk is a walk for the
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walk's sake. Whereas if a guy is busy and
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therefore guy is humble, the person is on to the next, on to
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the next. He's not thinking about the
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walk. He's not thinking about people
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seeing him on this walk. I got to get to the train, let
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me get to the train, got to get to the office, got to get home,
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got to get to the wedding, got to get to engage body, got to
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pay respects. Whatever it is, you're on your
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way. If a person is I resemble you.
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While this is the translation, the person is arrogant, The
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current position that he's in is the only thing that matters.
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How relevant am I and true? How relevant am I my walk home
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from? How relevant am I as I walk
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through the streets of Manhattan?
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How are you both seeing me? How relevant am I by the
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wedding? Walking away from the wedding?
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This is confidence, the way life works, and it's as clear as day.
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Try this test at home. Try the test you don't enjoy
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people, but if you watch people for a short time anywhere you
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go, you'll notice this all right OK he says further.
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Any person that works with a a wreck Pastor Kilo is like he's
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pushing away the feet the the presence of Hashem got it.
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God and arrogance don't coexist. Why we know this thing we
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discuss a theme because arrogance means I'm the bill and
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though if I am the destination, then Hashem is not the idea of a
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Jew at his core. That's why humility is such an
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unbelievably strong Jewish. Fundamental is the idea of a Jew
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is that you're here to serve. Serve your fellow man, serve
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Hashem. That's your existence.
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You get to serve, even serve yourself for your unishama.
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But service on the list. Now, if I believe that I am the
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Beal end all that my body, my position, my state, my words, my
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walk, my talk, my total sitting, if I believe these are the Beal
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end all, you know what that means?
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I'm not here for the destination of God, not here for the
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division nation in fellow Jew. I'm not here to press it or to
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pray or to learn. I'm not even here for my soul.
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I'm simply here for my body, just my current physical actual
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state, Hayom. And it's funny how character and
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mitzvot often blend. And this is a classic example,
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which means the ultimate core of mitzvot that you serve your
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soul, you serve your fellow Jew, you serve Russian.
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The ultimate form of sin is that you're serving your body, you're
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serving your mind, you're serving your physical state.
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Those are the ultimate display of that's what up against
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Avidot. And it's funny that the same
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divide implies regarding humility and arrogance.
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Whereas humility is you're serving Hashem, so you're on
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your way, you're serving your fellow Jew.
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So you're running, you're not thinking about right now and
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you're serving your soul. So you're trying to get the
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shoot to pray, you're trying to get to to the class to learn,
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you're trying to get to a great state of M1 now, whatever it is,
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you're on your way, you're doing.
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Whereas arrogance is me, my body, my current position, my
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current state, my walk, my talk was all body oriented.
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So being a Jew, which is either serving or serving out there,
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was a good thing. Or serving yourself as the bad
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thing, as Sinner, and being a Jew humbly.
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Which is, like we said on the way to things, not settled, not
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being busy with the current state right now.
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Up against the arrogant, which is all about the now and all
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about the way I sit and I talk and I walk and I exist.
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They have the same lineup, the same 2 categories.
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A mitzvah person up against a sitting person and a humble
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person up against an arrogant person.
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They fit and they line up exactly.
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And that just shows you a blend of how being a Jew is meant to
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be a very consistent existence. And you find the person who's
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inconsistent in a certain area and he's OK, they're a good guy,
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but they're inconsistent and arrogance.
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Well, the truth is that might be true, but there's also a very
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possible risk that they're inconsistent.
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Inconsistent and they must fought observance as well,
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because an arrogant guy can based on this blend, also be a
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Sinner and a humble person is more likely to be a server of
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whatever he's serving of God, of his fellow man, of himself.
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That's because of this exact blend and hierogly guy is really
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is and everything is toward me. A humble person as working
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outward is moving is walking. He's talking toward others, not
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for his own sake, so therefore follow.
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My words are not strong to put them down, they're rather nice
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to put. Bring them up serving them.
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My walk is not arrogant to make myself feel good.
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It's rather on my way to get to my service, My walk, my talk, my
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busyness, it's all the same. Here's the thing I was telling
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you and it's life altering and you'll see how it plans that I
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can either serve here to myself, my body, or I can serve all
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that's out there. And it'll all be a reflection of
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my a million other words. A humble person is a busy
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person. And an arrogant person is, in a
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certain sense, very much settled in his current state and very
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much wants this current state to be lifted up, to be built up, to
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be impressive on other people. And he doesn't really want to
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move and to get in your own life.
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He just wants me right now to be a very big deal.
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And I laugh because I see the arrogant people.
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And I say to myself all the time, he got five years, 10
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years, whatever you have in this state, but things are going to
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change. Life is ups and downs and what
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are you going to be holding then if he's spending all his time on
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being a big deal and life will obviously have its movement and
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then you won't have the big deal because it no longer going to be
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a big deal. You'll have nothing to show for
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those 10 years and you're not working, doing anything.
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And that's the joke. The ironing person is very dumb
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person, honestly. And the humble person is a very
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busy, aggressive, effective person.
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That's how it plays out, all right.