Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose … Compassion, Gratitude and Acceptance with Cameron Mathison

Transcript

I Choose … Compassion, Gratitude and Acceptance with Cameron Mathison · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

0:01
Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hi, everyone,
0:09
Speaker 1: welcome back to I Choose Me. This podcast is all
0:13
Speaker 1: about the choices we make in good times and bad.
0:16
Speaker 1: Today's episode feels less like an interview and more like
0:20
Speaker 1: catching up with an old friend. You know Cameron Matheson
0:24
Speaker 1: as the dastardly Drew Cain on General Hospital. He is
0:29
Speaker 1: a favorite in all those holiday movies and the guy
0:33
Speaker 1: who somehow manages to stay grounded while juggling work, family,
0:38
Speaker 1: and a whole lot of life's curveballs. We're going to
0:42
Speaker 1: talk about everything from nutty fan encounters to the ups
0:47
Speaker 1: and downs of social media, empty nesting, and rebuilding a life,
0:52
Speaker 1: both literally and figuratively. Okay, I can't believe he chases
0:56
Speaker 1: that dog down hyperiod.
0:57
Speaker 2: No full sprit flipflops. It was Did you see the
1:00
Speaker 2: George Clooney movie? What was that movie where he's in
1:01
Speaker 2: Hawaii and he ran down the street because his wife
1:05
Speaker 2: was having an affair. Do you remember that scene? He
1:07
Speaker 2: was in the flip flops and he was It was
1:09
Speaker 2: such a painful moment because there was like I was
1:13
Speaker 2: in flip flops sprinting down Hyperion. After this dogo for
1:16
Speaker 2: I think probably probably felt like three quarters a mile
1:20
Speaker 2: was probably like half a mile, and he just and
1:24
Speaker 2: it's probably the wrong response. Maybe I should have stopped running,
1:27
Speaker 2: because maybe he was only running because I was running,
1:31
Speaker 2: But I was afraid to stop because then he maybe
1:34
Speaker 2: would just keep I don't know. So eventually he came
1:38
Speaker 2: up to a woman and her dog, and I happened
1:40
Speaker 2: to know the woman. She's like an older woman in
1:42
Speaker 2: a time, and he and the dog started barking because
1:47
Speaker 2: it was intimidating, and that's what got him, and so
1:49
Speaker 2: he was like and she was like, no, no, hunter
1:52
Speaker 2: stopped like and so it gave me a chance to
1:55
Speaker 2: grab him. And he had a little bandanas. I just
1:56
Speaker 2: got him groomed and I grabbed the bandana. I was
1:59
Speaker 2: holding his leave and the bandanna came off, so we
2:02
Speaker 2: broke him free again and then I finally kind of
2:05
Speaker 2: looped him and he was just chill. He was just
2:07
Speaker 2: like he just wanted to run and play like he
2:10
Speaker 2: wasn't trying to be mean, he just wanted to be
2:13
Speaker 2: a dog.
2:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, and terrorized the city of Silver Lake.
2:17
Speaker 2: In like inadvertently, but yeah, yeah, oh.
2:20
Speaker 1: My gosh, Well you're very nice to be taking in him,
2:23
Speaker 1: the foster dog. I thought at first it was like
2:26
Speaker 1: going to be your new dog.
2:27
Speaker 2: Everybody did.
2:28
Speaker 1: Did you think it was going to be your new dog?
2:29
Speaker 1: Or were you like, let me just see how this goes.
2:33
Speaker 2: There was a part of me that was, you know,
2:35
Speaker 2: hoping for the foster fail. I sort of thought he
2:39
Speaker 2: was He's gonna be maybe, like it was just complete,
2:43
Speaker 2: you know, when.
2:43
Speaker 3: You you you.
2:44
Speaker 2: Block out any logical reasoning because the one little sliver
2:49
Speaker 2: of like want is in there and you're like, oh
2:51
Speaker 2: my gosh, this could work somehow. But then like reality
2:54
Speaker 2: sets in and he's one hundred pounds and I have
2:56
Speaker 2: no yard, and I have three stories where I am
2:59
Speaker 2: now and I'm never home and I travel and my
3:02
Speaker 2: kids are going back to college, and I'm alone now,
3:04
Speaker 2: and I you know, on set at General Hospital twelve hours.
3:07
Speaker 2: There's no log like, there's no way I should.
3:10
Speaker 1: Have this dog keep them at home.
3:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, like if you had my kids were home or
3:13
Speaker 2: I had, you know, in a relation, but yeah, like
3:16
Speaker 2: it's it was a it was a not this most skillful.
3:19
Speaker 2: But again, it was always intended to be a foster,
3:22
Speaker 2: So I was hoping that somehow magically it would make sense,
3:26
Speaker 2: and it really doesn't.
3:28
Speaker 1: Well, usually you are the one doing the interviewing, so
3:33
Speaker 1: I'm excited to be interviewed and chatting way better with you,
3:38
Speaker 1: and all the ladies are definitely going to be swooning
3:42
Speaker 1: because I don't know if you know this, but apparently
3:44
Speaker 1: you are a beloved Christmas movie actor. Like you're beloved
3:49
Speaker 1: for other things. This is like hardcore.
3:52
Speaker 2: Your mom watches me, which made me feel really good.
3:55
Speaker 2: I mean, considering like she's your mom and the unbelievable
3:59
Speaker 2: amount of things that you done.
4:00
Speaker 1: I said me, maybe you want to brush your because
4:04
Speaker 1: she's living with me right now. I'm taking care of her.
4:05
Speaker 1: Maybe you want to brush your hair, maybe like a
4:07
Speaker 1: little lipsticles. Because I got someone coming over to meet
4:09
Speaker 1: you and she's like, I'm fine. I said, okay, I'm
4:12
Speaker 1: just letting you know you're gonna reget it. But anyway,
4:14
Speaker 1: I brought you in and her eyes lit up like
4:17
Speaker 1: a Christmas tree.
4:18
Speaker 2: She was so cute and it feels good though, I
4:21
Speaker 2: mean obviously like that. She's very sweet.
4:23
Speaker 1: No, she feel good, loves you. Wait, you're not so
4:27
Speaker 1: beloved as your other Your character on General Hospital, Drew
4:32
Speaker 1: is not he's a bad guy.
4:34
Speaker 2: He's not a great human. Actually he's not even he's
4:37
Speaker 2: not even like in the in the in the spectrum
4:39
Speaker 2: of being like a good guy. He's just a complete How.
4:42
Speaker 1: Did they cast you for playing a bad guy?
4:44
Speaker 2: They didn't, So so he was a he was a
4:46
Speaker 2: hero like I was. I played Drew Kane, who was
4:49
Speaker 2: an ex Navy seal, hero, saved the day, best guy,
4:52
Speaker 2: all these things. And then there was like this little
4:55
Speaker 2: storyline where I was there was a there was a
4:59
Speaker 2: character on the show. There is a character on the
5:00
Speaker 2: show Nina that Drew and Nina don't get along and
5:03
Speaker 2: we hate each other, and we were at odds and
5:05
Speaker 2: we had, you know, we were actually having kind of
5:07
Speaker 2: hate sex, which was all of a sudden that happened,
5:09
Speaker 2: like she ripped my shirt off one day, and so
5:11
Speaker 2: then we hated each other after that. It was very,
5:13
Speaker 2: very bizarre because because that always happened, and we had
5:17
Speaker 2: these scenes and I just kind of laid into her
5:21
Speaker 2: for whatever, you know, like verbally, and just like we
5:23
Speaker 2: she laid into me too. It was just very dynamic,
5:25
Speaker 2: angry scenes. And then I think I make up. I
5:28
Speaker 2: don't know if this is true, but I make up
5:31
Speaker 2: from those series of scenes, They're like, he's kind of
5:34
Speaker 2: good at this, like like it's just like I know,
5:38
Speaker 2: I don't know what happened. And then all of a
5:40
Speaker 2: sudden they started writing me more and more and more
5:42
Speaker 2: and more and more and more down that line, and
5:44
Speaker 2: now it's full gone, absolute douchebag jerk, like like corrupt congressman,
5:50
Speaker 2: not a good human, had an affair with a mother
5:53
Speaker 2: and a daughter blackmailed as best friends. Why he used
5:55
Speaker 2: an eleven year old to manipulate? Like like not good?
5:59
Speaker 1: Like how do the people feel about this character?
6:02
Speaker 2: People hate Drew and they often don't like me either.
6:05
Speaker 2: I get I get apples thrown at me in the supermarket. No,
6:08
Speaker 2: I had an apple throw me, like for real.
6:10
Speaker 1: Like somebody yeah, took an apple off the apple pile
6:14
Speaker 1: correct and chucked it at you, Drew Kay, And she grabbed.
6:17
Speaker 2: And it was sort of playful but not and she
6:20
Speaker 2: was like you're so bad. She threw it at me
6:22
Speaker 2: and blocked it, and I was like what And then
6:26
Speaker 2: and then I told this story, you know whatever to people,
6:29
Speaker 2: and people were like, come on, they a's gonna throw
6:31
Speaker 2: an apple. And then I was back in another supermarket
6:33
Speaker 2: and I'm looking for something on the shelf and I
6:36
Speaker 2: feel somebody beating me on the back with like a
6:38
Speaker 2: rolled up magazine. Oh, and I turn around and it's
6:42
Speaker 2: one of the employees of the supermarket yelling at me
6:45
Speaker 2: for all my bad behavior on General Hospital. And so
6:48
Speaker 2: then I pulled out my phone and I just started
6:50
Speaker 2: recording her because I thought it was so funny to
6:53
Speaker 2: prove that these things are happening. I've had people pull
6:56
Speaker 2: their car over to the sidewalk and yell. I felt like,
7:00
Speaker 2: we're gonna come right up onto the curb yell at
7:02
Speaker 2: me through the window. I've had well, I I'll post
7:06
Speaker 2: like the most sweet things with my kids on Instagram
7:09
Speaker 2: and the comments will be like, you're disgusting on General Hospital.
7:13
Speaker 2: We hate you, we hope you die. Oh that's great.
7:17
Speaker 1: Wowsed you know you got street cred now?
7:21
Speaker 2: I mean, I you know, I often wonder why it's
7:25
Speaker 2: going so well as such an evil person.
7:27
Speaker 1: So you're still on your continuing role.
7:29
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm still on. There's there's a I don't know
7:31
Speaker 2: exactly when this is gonna hear, but there's something that's
7:33
Speaker 2: coming up on the show that kind of changes the
7:36
Speaker 2: dynamic of everything for Drew, Like you know, it's it
7:39
Speaker 2: gets worse, like it gets worse. Everybody hates him, everybody
7:43
Speaker 2: wants him dead, and things, some crazy things happen. But
7:48
Speaker 2: as far as I know, like you know, it's I'm
7:50
Speaker 2: still on the show and I'm not you know, nobody's
7:53
Speaker 2: killed me officially yet or have they.
7:55
Speaker 1: Well, we'll still It's like the so opera. I mean,
8:01
Speaker 1: in the sixties, seventies, eighties, they were like everything.
8:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, because there was three channels to watch, right and
8:08
Speaker 2: then like during the day, people only had those shows
8:11
Speaker 2: to watch really and they were they had like our
8:14
Speaker 2: primetime rate, well not you're like Beverly Hills prime time ratings,
8:17
Speaker 2: but at the time like primetime ratings that we have now.
8:20
Speaker 2: And and then through more and more channels on cable
8:23
Speaker 2: and then through streaming, we've had to find different ways
8:26
Speaker 2: for people to watch. And now they you know, they're
8:27
Speaker 2: watching on the phone and they're watching ABC and you know.
8:29
Speaker 3: So that's amazing.
8:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's still still doing great.
8:33
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to ask you about the industry, and
8:37
Speaker 1: it's pivoted. Things were actors, but we're also now something else.
8:44
Speaker 1: I just was curious, like how do you feel being
8:48
Speaker 1: a man fluencer?
8:50
Speaker 2: A man fluencer?
8:52
Speaker 1: Do you like that I made it up?
8:54
Speaker 2: You did? You should? That's good. I mean, I'm not
8:58
Speaker 2: surprised because you've good like that influencer. I love it.
9:04
Speaker 2: I love it because it's like it's how I live
9:07
Speaker 2: like I'm not trying to do anything that's not super
9:10
Speaker 2: authentic to me and an extension of how I live
9:12
Speaker 2: my life or try to. You know, I'm not perfect
9:14
Speaker 2: with it all, but I love to share things that
9:15
Speaker 2: have worked. I love to share. You've shared journeys that
9:18
Speaker 2: you've been through, health journey struggles, things, the ways that
9:21
Speaker 2: you've improved and you inspired people, and and I'm getting
9:24
Speaker 2: more and more comfortable doing that. And I really, truly
9:29
Speaker 2: in my heart know that the things that I've done
9:33
Speaker 2: through I've done a lot of things wrong. I know
9:36
Speaker 2: what doesn't work. Oh my gosh. I mean, I know
9:40
Speaker 2: a lot of things wrong. Some of them will even
9:41
Speaker 2: talk about. But I've done a lot of things wrong
9:43
Speaker 2: in the health, Like you know, because I was known
9:49
Speaker 2: at a young age as being sort of this like
9:51
Speaker 2: aesthetically fit looking guy, but really underneath I was super unhealthy,
9:55
Speaker 2: like going to extremes and doing a lot of unhealthy
9:57
Speaker 2: things to achieve that look. And and when you're young, those
10:02
Speaker 2: extremes work for a little while and you can get
10:05
Speaker 2: away with it for a while, and then it stops
10:09
Speaker 2: working as well, and then you've got to get more
10:11
Speaker 2: extreme or do something else to try to get back there.
10:14
Speaker 2: And you would, and it wasn't quite as good, but
10:16
Speaker 2: then it would work for a while, and then that
10:18
Speaker 2: would kind of plateau, and your metabolism would shut down,
10:21
Speaker 2: or you'd start gaining more weight, or you'd be inflamed
10:24
Speaker 2: or whatever, and you'd just stend it in your God,
10:26
Speaker 2: and you're whatever, and then you'd have to shift again
10:28
Speaker 2: and another extreme diet or work out or supplement or.
10:31
Speaker 3: Whatever it to top it.
10:33
Speaker 2: And and you, because you're you're you're in the industry,
10:36
Speaker 2: and you've got this pressure, and you've, like, you know,
10:38
Speaker 2: for me anyway, and I think for you too, you've
10:41
Speaker 2: established this kind of norm of what you look like.
10:45
Speaker 1: So if that changes at all, if that norm changes
10:49
Speaker 1: at all, people, it's like a People magazine article.
10:52
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's a thousand times worse for you
10:55
Speaker 2: than it is for me. But it's like, yeah, you're right,
10:57
Speaker 2: like you I mean, I'm sure if there's a little
11:00
Speaker 2: sliver God for me. You go on vacation for whatever
11:03
Speaker 2: the summer, and you come back and you're not looking,
11:06
Speaker 2: you know, whatever, the way you did before when you
11:08
Speaker 2: had the bikini shoot on nine two one oo or whatever.
11:12
Speaker 2: You're gonna hear about it, and it messes with you,
11:14
Speaker 2: and of course we like we should be probably strong
11:16
Speaker 2: enough to be like, yeah, I just had a good summer. Guys,
11:18
Speaker 2: take it easy, but it kind of gets to you.
11:21
Speaker 2: And so I went to a lot of unhealthy extremes.
11:23
Speaker 2: I didn't think they were necessarily on healthy extremes. I
11:26
Speaker 2: just thought it's what people needed to do. I didn't
11:28
Speaker 2: know any better. But then eventually everything kind of was
11:32
Speaker 2: out of whack. My hormones, my my cortisol, which is
11:35
Speaker 2: your stress hormone, my adrenals, my thyroid because your thyroid
11:38
Speaker 2: overregulates tries to help everything out. My gut health was
11:44
Speaker 2: so disastrous. I had like h parlaia, My microbiome was
11:48
Speaker 2: through the roof. I had like mold exposure. I did
11:51
Speaker 2: these gut microbiome tests, and people that have seen thousands
11:54
Speaker 2: of them said mine was in the top three worst
11:56
Speaker 2: they'd ever seen wow cameraon.
11:57
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you.
11:58
Speaker 2: For for you know, and that's a really, really hard
12:02
Speaker 2: thing to rebalance. It's people think, oh, you just got
12:05
Speaker 2: to take some probiotics and go on carnivore or gone
12:08
Speaker 2: keto for a while and you'll feel and that's true,
12:10
Speaker 2: that'll help in the short term, but you're not healing anything.
12:14
Speaker 2: You're not killing the bad bacteria and balancing the microbiome.
12:18
Speaker 2: And I started working with a functional health coach that
12:23
Speaker 2: was literally like night and day, and I'm like stronger
12:28
Speaker 2: and healthier and more energy and have more vitality and
12:32
Speaker 2: more flexible like then I was. I'm fifty six, and
12:35
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, when I was twenty nine, I wasn't
12:38
Speaker 2: near like this, Like I wasn't near even when I
12:40
Speaker 2: was esthetically fit looking.
12:43
Speaker 1: You weren't as healthy as you are now, not even close. Recently,
12:53
Speaker 1: it's been bananas for you.
12:56
Speaker 2: It's been a little bananas. And I've had a stretch
12:58
Speaker 2: where and we all have our stuff and I'm saying
13:01
Speaker 2: this like as my stretch and my challenges, but we
13:06
Speaker 2: can all relate in different ways. I had so through
13:10
Speaker 2: my going to extremes and being very unhealthy to try
13:13
Speaker 2: to look healthy. I eventually, uh, found out I had
13:16
Speaker 2: kidney cancer, and that rocked my world and just blew
13:21
Speaker 2: my mind and was very scary and like threatening. Thank goodness,
13:26
Speaker 2: I had spread and we dealt with it. And then
13:27
Speaker 2: through that treatment, I found out like my mom while
13:30
Speaker 2: she was visiting me in my recovery of kidney cancer,
13:35
Speaker 2: figured out that she had brain cancer and uh, and
13:44
Speaker 2: you know, and then she didn't, she didn't survive. That
13:46
Speaker 2: it was a horrible glioblastoma is going to get you,
13:49
Speaker 2: and it's still obviously tricky. Yeah, And then so anyway, yes,
13:53
Speaker 2: so I had cancer, my mom. COVID happened somebody very
13:56
Speaker 2: very near and dear that I don't really have the
13:59
Speaker 2: permission and to talk about details. Went through a life
14:02
Speaker 2: threatening experience during COVID. Then I lost my job that
14:09
Speaker 2: I was a talk show host. And then my wife
14:14
Speaker 2: and I for many many years twenty two years, went
14:18
Speaker 2: separate ways and it was a surprise to me and
14:20
Speaker 2: many of the things about it that was very very
14:22
Speaker 2: hard and painful. And then my dog died, and then
14:27
Speaker 2: my house burnt down, and I lost everything that I've
14:30
Speaker 2: ever owned in every evidence of my life in the
14:33
Speaker 2: ly fires in January and here I am so and
14:36
Speaker 2: that's not all of it, to be honest for that, yeah,
14:38
Speaker 2: I mean, and we all again that's my list. We
14:41
Speaker 2: all have lists. Yes, So it's been a stretch. I
14:47
Speaker 2: tried to stay positive and resilient and inspire others to
14:52
Speaker 2: get through stuff. But it definitely has its moments where
14:55
Speaker 2: it's very child as you see, like you know, even
14:56
Speaker 2: get an emotional but my mom, I mean, it's you know,
14:58
Speaker 2: it's tough. It's tough, and you got to have that.
15:00
Speaker 2: You got to have those moments where you feel it
15:03
Speaker 2: and you allow the struggle and you hopefully have tools
15:06
Speaker 2: to get through it. But then also focus on things,
15:10
Speaker 2: so many things to be grateful for, Compassion for others
15:14
Speaker 2: going through it way worse, like you think about the
15:17
Speaker 2: fires and so fifteen thousand different structures burned and houses
15:21
Speaker 2: and families and so, you know, I really try to
15:25
Speaker 2: focus on compassion, on gratitude, and then another one for
15:30
Speaker 2: me is just real deep acceptance. That's very helpful.
15:33
Speaker 1: I know you are very close to your parents, so
15:35
Speaker 1: I'm really really sorry about your mom.
15:37
Speaker 2: Thank you.
15:38
Speaker 1: I think that happened right after one of our Christmas
15:41
Speaker 1: movies do I recall correctly.
15:43
Speaker 2: You did right after a kind hearted Christmas?
15:45
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, And I'm actually sharing something about
15:55
Speaker 1: you in my upcoming book because that you've had such
15:59
Speaker 1: a profound effect on me that we've never even really
16:02
Speaker 1: talked about. And I'll just go into that. I remember
16:06
Speaker 1: doing the first Christmas movie with you. I have no
16:10
Speaker 1: idea what year that was, but you're so like calm
16:16
Speaker 1: and so even keeled and so present and so compassionate
16:24
Speaker 1: to everybody on the crew, every single person, and you
16:29
Speaker 1: had this like stillness about you. And I remember being like,
16:33
Speaker 1: what is this guy's a deal? He's not like a
16:35
Speaker 1: typical actor. He's so nice. What's wrong with him? And
16:39
Speaker 1: I went up to you and I was like, what's
16:41
Speaker 1: your deal? Like why are you so happy?
16:44
Speaker 2: I remember that you did. I absolutely remember that because
16:49
Speaker 2: I don't think I really realized that that's how I
16:53
Speaker 2: come across, or sometimes come across like that made me.
16:57
Speaker 2: It was felt nice to hear that question, you know,
16:59
Speaker 2: like it was like it meant a lot to me
17:01
Speaker 2: that you came and asked me. That we talked about it.
17:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, I want what I want what
17:05
Speaker 1: you have? Like I that's what I want in my life,
17:07
Speaker 1: and you shared with me about your journey to finding
17:11
Speaker 1: faith or whatever you want to call it. You told
17:14
Speaker 1: me about the that you study Buddhism, and you told me.
17:18
Speaker 1: I asked you all the questions, like what's that like?
17:20
Speaker 1: Are you a Buddhist? Do you have do you have
17:22
Speaker 1: like material things? Have you've given up all your You
17:25
Speaker 1: were laughing at me, and you told me all about
17:28
Speaker 1: where you study and who you study under. And I
17:31
Speaker 1: started going because of you, and that changed my life profoundly.
17:36
Speaker 1: Just my learnings from those Monday night classes.
17:41
Speaker 2: It's amazing. Yeah, that's really really amazing and like makes
17:45
Speaker 2: me so happy, and it's it's so true. This like
17:49
Speaker 2: the psychology and sort of philosophy of Buddhist teachings or
17:53
Speaker 2: Eastern philosophy. It's it's for everybody, like it's for every
17:57
Speaker 2: religion everybody, because it's very it's very much just the
18:01
Speaker 2: logical science of happiness of the mind and how to
18:04
Speaker 2: think and how to train your mind through meditation and
18:08
Speaker 2: rewire your brain in a sense in really positive, virtuous
18:13
Speaker 2: ways of doing things and incorporating that with meditation to
18:19
Speaker 2: kind of help get it deeper in your kind of essence,
18:24
Speaker 2: so that it's not just like talk therapy. And I
18:26
Speaker 2: think that's amazing. Talk therapy is very, very helpful. But
18:29
Speaker 2: there's something about sort of that lineage of ancient wisdom
18:35
Speaker 2: and then incorporating it with meditation and how we're our
18:39
Speaker 2: own sort of personalized research project with it where we
18:44
Speaker 2: take a teaching and it's like, all right, let's check
18:46
Speaker 2: it out. Let's see if it works. Does it make
18:48
Speaker 2: me happier? Does it improve my challenging situations at work?
18:51
Speaker 2: Does it make me look at the situation a little different?
18:54
Speaker 2: Am I looking at somebody more with compassion and understanding
18:58
Speaker 2: that they're suffering instead of taking everything personally? And how
19:01
Speaker 2: can they be so mean to me? What about me?
19:03
Speaker 2: Like shifting the mind in different skillful ways? Learning to
19:07
Speaker 2: you know, love? I remember one class I invited you
19:10
Speaker 2: to was a class on love. It was something about love?
19:13
Speaker 1: Wait? Were you? Were you the teacher that night?
19:15
Speaker 2: Oh? Man? I don't know? Was I? Wait?
19:17
Speaker 1: I don't know?
19:18
Speaker 2: But did you come to a class where I taught?
19:20
Speaker 1: I came to a lot of classes. And did we
19:23
Speaker 1: sit next I don't think I ever sat next to you.
19:25
Speaker 2: No, no, but I remember you coming to class with
19:27
Speaker 2: your friend, the makeup.
19:28
Speaker 1: Part of them, and then you were teaching.
19:30
Speaker 2: I was okay, I don't.
19:31
Speaker 1: Know, maybe not that one, but yeah, I taught.
19:33
Speaker 2: Oh yeah a few times. You're right, that's right.
19:35
Speaker 3: I remember what your daughter once.
19:37
Speaker 1: And I were going.
19:38
Speaker 3: She was coming with me, remember.
19:39
Speaker 1: Quite a while, and we walked in and wasn't there. Yeah,
19:44
Speaker 1: it wasn't there, and so I was like, wait, what's
19:47
Speaker 1: gonna happen? And then you sat down as the teacher,
19:51
Speaker 1: and you and I were cracking up. We were like
19:53
Speaker 1: writing little notes to each other.
19:55
Speaker 2: I'm sure you were. I'm sure I can only listen.
19:58
Speaker 2: I'm up there saying hey, everybody, how are you doing?
19:59
Speaker 2: Thanks for coming, and think you know, this is whatever's
20:01
Speaker 2: what we're doing. And in part of my mind, all
20:03
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about is, oh my god, Jenny's having a
20:05
Speaker 2: riot right now. Don't look at don't know I contact
20:08
Speaker 2: to not make eye contact. Yeah.
20:11
Speaker 1: It was good. I enjoyed it, and I learned from you.
20:14
Speaker 2: And I remember one reaction you said it was like
20:18
Speaker 2: because it was a class on love that I know.
20:19
Speaker 2: This was when the center was back at the other place,
20:21
Speaker 2: and you were like, why do you think I need love?
20:23
Speaker 2: When my like it was something like you you were joking,
20:26
Speaker 2: but you were sort of saying that, and then quickly
20:30
Speaker 2: realized that from a Budhist perspective, love is just like
20:33
Speaker 2: feeling a warm, close connection to everybody and like caring
20:36
Speaker 2: about others and cherishing them and wishing for them to
20:38
Speaker 2: be happy, and and it actually is the most sort
20:42
Speaker 2: of pure form of you know, love or you know,
20:47
Speaker 2: just general care for others. And that's what the class
20:49
Speaker 2: was all, not necessarily romantic love. In fact, I don't
20:52
Speaker 2: think anywhere in Buddhism teachings teachers, Yeah, like work on
20:55
Speaker 2: your relationship, Well it does directly, Yeah.
20:58
Speaker 4: Yeah, it applies to all of your Yeah, because in
21:02
Speaker 4: many cases, one of the things that we try to,
21:05
Speaker 4: you know, look at is how you know this mind
21:08
Speaker 4: of what we call attachment or desirous attachment, which is
21:11
Speaker 4: like what.
21:12
Speaker 2: Can you do for me? Versus the mind of love,
21:15
Speaker 2: like what can I do for you? Like how are
21:17
Speaker 2: you like like shifting that mental attitude And a lot
21:21
Speaker 2: of our relationships, of course, are us expecting others to
21:26
Speaker 2: kind of make us happy versus like the mind that
21:29
Speaker 2: wishes others to be happy. And you know, in doing so,
21:33
Speaker 2: we end up taking care of ourselves too, Like that's
21:36
Speaker 2: the beauty. That's the beauty of it. The back door
21:38
Speaker 2: effect of learning to shift the mind and really caring
21:42
Speaker 2: and connecting them compassion and love and thinking about others
21:45
Speaker 2: and respect and patience and kindness is that we end
21:50
Speaker 2: up being so much happier and our relationships improve. And
21:53
Speaker 2: you're like, wait a minute, this was always the answer. No.
21:56
Speaker 1: I mean because I've studied all kinds of religions trying
21:58
Speaker 1: to figure it out over the years, and nothing really
22:04
Speaker 1: like worked inside of me. Nothing made sense to me.
22:07
Speaker 1: But the day I sat down in a Buddhist class,
22:10
Speaker 1: everything he said made sense to me.
22:12
Speaker 2: That's amazing. I had the same experience. It was. I
22:15
Speaker 2: studied engineering, right, so I studied like logic in science
22:20
Speaker 2: and math. And that's one of the reasons I struggled
22:23
Speaker 2: with different teachings and religions. And I actually have lots
22:27
Speaker 2: and lots of love and admiration for all of them.
22:29
Speaker 2: But like you say, when I got these teachings, it
22:33
Speaker 2: was very logical and step by step clear and laid out,
22:39
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, this is what I need,
22:41
Speaker 2: you know, And everybody kind of is attracted to different things.
22:44
Speaker 2: But that's helpful for me.
22:46
Speaker 1: I know. I don't say I'm a Buddhist because I
22:48
Speaker 1: think people instantly leap to like the extreme with that.
22:52
Speaker 2: Always, always they're like, no, you're not. I'm like, well, okay, yeah, yeah,
22:56
Speaker 2: I'm like fine, I still have a you know, well
22:59
Speaker 2: I don't have as much anymore as it, but in general,
23:02
Speaker 2: like I have a lot of possession. But that was
23:04
Speaker 2: an interesting thing too, speaking of like so the big
23:06
Speaker 2: misconceptionsism is like no possessions and like live in a
23:09
Speaker 2: cave and like all right, and that's not it at all.
23:12
Speaker 2: It's more so just so people understand, you know, it's
23:16
Speaker 2: more like your your your relationship with nice things and
23:20
Speaker 2: having things. It's not being needing them and and having
23:24
Speaker 2: the mindset that these things are going to make me happy,
23:28
Speaker 2: like I need this and this and this and this
23:31
Speaker 2: and this and attention and validation and money and to
23:35
Speaker 2: make me happy, versus having these things and enjoying them
23:41
Speaker 2: purely and knowing that you could be happy with or
23:45
Speaker 2: without them. And I now know because I lost everything, Jenny,
23:50
Speaker 2: like everything on January eighth. I had nothing I had.
23:57
Speaker 2: It's not the kind of thing where I had some
23:58
Speaker 2: stuff at my mom's house or oh, but in a
24:00
Speaker 2: basement back home I have everything was gone. I had
24:05
Speaker 2: my car, I had my phone. Jesus, clearly I got
24:12
Speaker 2: all work to do on this. Oh I had what
24:15
Speaker 2: I was wearing, and that's it. And like in that moment,
24:20
Speaker 2: it was very like I muted the videos on my
24:23
Speaker 2: Instagram because I was videoing it for Vanessa and for
24:27
Speaker 2: my dad like I wanted to, because I was just
24:28
Speaker 2: checking to see if our house was still there. And
24:30
Speaker 2: then I drove up and it was gone, still burning,
24:33
Speaker 2: and I was in shock, and I was like, I've
24:35
Speaker 2: never heard noises come out of me like that, Like
24:37
Speaker 2: it was very bizarre. It was like, I mean, I
24:41
Speaker 2: suppose I was just gasping for error in shock, but
24:46
Speaker 2: there was like this other momentary feeling that came in
24:50
Speaker 2: and out where it was like kind of feeling liberated,
24:56
Speaker 2: like like now it's I don't know, like all the
25:02
Speaker 2: stuff and accumulation and more and more and more. And
25:06
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've experienced it, but the more
25:10
Speaker 2: money you have or whatever, the more kind of you
25:13
Speaker 2: want and stuff you get. And at least for me,
25:16
Speaker 2: and I've gone through waves of that and worked on
25:18
Speaker 2: it and through my spiritual life. But in that moment
25:23
Speaker 2: I had nothing like possession was and like like I
25:32
Speaker 2: knew I was gonna be okay. Like I was very
25:33
Speaker 2: very hard and painful, and I struggled a lot, especially
25:38
Speaker 2: with my kids. With respect to my kids and the
25:40
Speaker 2: evidence of their childhood and everything. That was by far
25:44
Speaker 2: the worst, Jenny, than all of their birth photos, all
25:48
Speaker 2: the film, because you know that when our kids were little,
25:50
Speaker 2: they was all film. So all that's gone. They've got
25:52
Speaker 2: no photos at all until we have digital, none, no
25:56
Speaker 2: evidence of their Yeah, it's that's a tough one.
25:59
Speaker 1: That I'm so sorry, Like that is tough, but I
26:02
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying. Yeah, you're starting from ground zero
26:07
Speaker 1: and now you actually and also that's all that was
26:10
Speaker 1: right on the heels I think of your divorce.
26:12
Speaker 2: It was, Yeah, that we had been separated for about
26:19
Speaker 2: a year and a half officially at that point, maybe
26:24
Speaker 2: a little bit longer, but still felt very fresh. And
26:28
Speaker 2: we're still working. I mean, we're still working through stuff.
26:30
Speaker 1: So do you think in the aftermath, like the way
26:40
Speaker 1: the fire affected you and your whole family, do you
26:43
Speaker 1: think that ended up bringing closer relationships within the family
26:51
Speaker 1: because especially if you can imagine going through something like
26:54
Speaker 1: that with my partner and feeling all the feelings, then
26:58
Speaker 1: to have to go through some think that devastating. And
27:02
Speaker 1: only this family that lived there together understands.
27:09
Speaker 2: I'm sure I.
27:09
Speaker 1: Feel like it.
27:10
Speaker 2: It must have a thousand person that's it's very, very
27:14
Speaker 2: in line with our experience, especially Vanessa and I. You know, again,
27:20
Speaker 2: there was it was a tricky time when we separated,
27:22
Speaker 2: and there was a lot of specific conditions that made
27:25
Speaker 2: it made it really tough. You know, you said it
27:29
Speaker 2: was a surprise to hear it for you. It was
27:31
Speaker 2: a surprise to me too, and those are the worst
27:34
Speaker 2: and we just you know, we have a lot of
27:37
Speaker 2: love for each other, but there was also a lot
27:39
Speaker 2: of pain that time. And I really feel and I
27:41
Speaker 2: think I think I can speak you know, for Vanessa
27:43
Speaker 2: as well, because we've talked about this, and in that
27:48
Speaker 2: moment after the fire, like I stayed in the kids
27:50
Speaker 2: room where, you know, in her place, and it was
27:54
Speaker 2: as if the post breakup timeline, which takes time, hopefully
28:00
Speaker 2: for most people to like, you know, eventually hopefully they
28:02
Speaker 2: get to a place where they get along and they
28:04
Speaker 2: co parent and everything's great. Or whatever, everything's you know good.
28:10
Speaker 2: It was as if that going through that together just
28:13
Speaker 2: like erased a lot of the negativity and just brought
28:17
Speaker 2: us really like it just kind of shortened that timeline
28:19
Speaker 2: and we kind of got to this real place of
28:22
Speaker 2: love and care and support and we're there for each
28:24
Speaker 2: other and cried and talked and hugged and not in
28:29
Speaker 2: a oh we're going to get back together kind of way,
28:32
Speaker 2: just like a really close like nobody else knew what
28:36
Speaker 2: we were going through, and that bond.
28:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a really it was your life in
28:40
Speaker 1: that house and exactly.
28:41
Speaker 2: Exactly like the kids were literally raising that house. It's
28:44
Speaker 2: where all, you know, our relationship for the most part,
28:47
Speaker 2: was all in that house fifteen years or so of
28:49
Speaker 2: the twenty two and yeah, so I so yes, and
28:53
Speaker 2: then also the kids too, we had Yeah, the kids
28:56
Speaker 2: were in school and overseas, and so it's been a
29:00
Speaker 2: little bit kind of choppy with how they've done their
29:03
Speaker 2: healing around it too, versus like coming home or but
29:06
Speaker 2: mostly through this summer since they've been back, and it's
29:11
Speaker 2: been really it's been really beautiful and it's been really
29:13
Speaker 2: healing for all of us. And yeah, and also remembering
29:18
Speaker 2: you know what really truly is important and being able
29:22
Speaker 2: to really feel things and talk about them and that's okay,
29:28
Speaker 2: and the pain and the fear and the anger, the sadness,
29:34
Speaker 2: the frustration, Yeah, and just kind of getting it out
29:40
Speaker 2: as well as understanding that these challenges I really believe
29:45
Speaker 2: are going to make the kids and hopefully the adults
29:50
Speaker 2: much stronger, you know, like, you know, just it's almost
29:53
Speaker 2: the ultimate resilience training. They you know, I talk about
29:55
Speaker 2: all the things I've been through in the last four years,
29:58
Speaker 2: They've been through exactly those things too. Their dad having
30:02
Speaker 2: cancer and thinking maybe he's not going to make it,
30:04
Speaker 2: then their mom, their grandmother dying of a horrible brain
30:07
Speaker 2: cancer journey, and then COVID during the pivotal years of
30:10
Speaker 2: high school, et cetera. And then this other thing that
30:13
Speaker 2: I talked about that you know, it's a little bit
30:15
Speaker 2: more private, and then their their relationship this parent, their
30:18
Speaker 2: parents like breaking up when they never thought that would
30:22
Speaker 2: ever happen, and then their dog dying, and then they're
30:24
Speaker 2: like they've been through it and like, hopefully I've got
30:27
Speaker 2: more skills and I mean, yeah, you do. And so
30:32
Speaker 2: it's been an amazing I don't know, amazing experience for
30:37
Speaker 2: me to see how incredible and resilient. And I think
30:43
Speaker 2: in a sense like wise they've been through this, you know,
30:46
Speaker 2: and not always right. But what they haven't resorted to
30:50
Speaker 2: to numb the pain, you know, what they haven't you know,
30:53
Speaker 2: like these days, kids can go a lot of different
30:57
Speaker 2: directions to not feel you know, kin adults for that matter.
31:02
Speaker 2: It can be as simple as like phone and screens
31:05
Speaker 2: and video games, or it can be you know, substances
31:08
Speaker 2: and et cetera. And they've been pretty amazing and we
31:13
Speaker 2: really tried to keep the communication open and it's it's
31:17
Speaker 2: been great. Yeah.
31:18
Speaker 1: I love it when you post pictures of you having
31:20
Speaker 1: fun with them now. It's just so touching because I
31:23
Speaker 1: know how close your bond is with them, and I
31:25
Speaker 1: know all the things that you guys have dealt with
31:28
Speaker 1: and how strong and resilient they are and gorgeous. But Hi,
31:35
Speaker 1: you're an empty nester. Now they're gone. They're abroad, I know,
31:38
Speaker 1: like way they're not just you know, in another state.
31:41
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy, Like I mean, you know, because you've
31:44
Speaker 2: experienced this too, But no, they're they're on there. So
31:46
Speaker 2: my daughter's in Paris and my sons in London are
31:48
Speaker 2: studying it really to two different programs obviously, and you know,
31:53
Speaker 2: Dog's gone. Relationships over, like it's a real the house
31:57
Speaker 2: has gone, possessions gone, like it's a real fresh start,
32:00
Speaker 2: Like here we go.
32:01
Speaker 1: Like how are you doing? What are you doing to
32:03
Speaker 1: design your new life? Like this is a transition, This
32:07
Speaker 1: is like a hard pivot. This is like a this
32:10
Speaker 1: is brand new.
32:11
Speaker 2: It's sort of like it's it's like a forced hard pivot.
32:14
Speaker 2: It's like it's like I'm speeding along this road and
32:17
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to be on it for the
32:18
Speaker 2: rest of this stretch of this journey, like I'm just
32:20
Speaker 2: making this up as I go. But then there's like
32:23
Speaker 2: around this corner there's like a hard hairpin turn that
32:26
Speaker 2: I got to make or others I'm going right off
32:28
Speaker 2: this cliff kind of thing, and it sort of feels
32:30
Speaker 2: like that. And I haven't been great, I think after
32:34
Speaker 2: the fire, like I've been very very positive and uh,
32:40
Speaker 2: what's the word I'm looking for, almost like practical and
32:42
Speaker 2: doing like taking a lot of really good steps to
32:46
Speaker 2: heal and get through, especially the breakup and all of that.
32:50
Speaker 2: And then when the fires happened, it almost felt like
32:54
Speaker 2: it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and
32:56
Speaker 2: I kind of did distract myself and numb out, and
33:00
Speaker 2: I didn't go to my classes as much, and I
33:02
Speaker 2: wasn't relying on my spiritual life and my meditation. Is
33:05
Speaker 2: it was almost like, you know, I don't know if
33:09
Speaker 2: I can say this, but fuck it. Like it was
33:10
Speaker 2: almost like, yeah, it was almost like just too much.
33:14
Speaker 1: How long did that period last for you? Oh my god,
33:17
Speaker 1: you're making me cry all day? Sorry, then you're making
33:22
Speaker 1: me cry.
33:24
Speaker 2: It it lasted off and on, like it wasn't like
33:27
Speaker 2: a solid stretch, but a good a good six months.
33:33
Speaker 2: And I think I'm just kind of now coming out
33:35
Speaker 2: of it. Like in a way, I did like a
33:39
Speaker 2: nice retreat this summer in England and like a meditation retreat,
33:43
Speaker 2: and I had a lot kind of alone and healing
33:48
Speaker 2: time with the kids and traveled and we did some
33:52
Speaker 2: sort of a closure sort of therapy on the property
33:55
Speaker 2: in Altadena and some things that have helped really kind
34:00
Speaker 2: of be more productive. That's the word I was thinking
34:02
Speaker 2: of productive. I'll say this, I haven't really talked much
34:05
Speaker 2: about this, Like I didn't drink or use any mind
34:09
Speaker 2: altering substances for eighteen years because you chose. I chose
34:15
Speaker 2: not to, so I you know, I don't consider myself
34:17
Speaker 2: necessarily an addict in those ways, but there was a
34:23
Speaker 2: period of my life, short period of my life, thankfully,
34:25
Speaker 2: where they certainly weren't helping me making good decisions. And
34:29
Speaker 2: I made the very strong deterence when I found but
34:32
Speaker 2: as teachings and meditation, and I started trying to like
34:34
Speaker 2: sort of solve my inner problems with like with inner
34:38
Speaker 2: solutions versus outer solutions like numbing out, and it was
34:43
Speaker 2: very like helpful for me. But anyway, so I stayed
34:46
Speaker 2: away from all stuff that became to not be good
34:51
Speaker 2: for me, and alcohol was not a big one of them.
34:53
Speaker 2: But I just cut alcohol out too for eighteen years.
34:55
Speaker 2: And then when the conditions of the separation happened, I
35:02
Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, I had a drink for
35:04
Speaker 2: the first time, and I luckily I don't really like alcohol.
35:08
Speaker 2: I don't like drinking, which is a very fortunate thing.
35:12
Speaker 2: But I probably had like a handful of drinks in
35:15
Speaker 2: a year and a half of my separation, just casually
35:19
Speaker 2: and probably not even finishing them.
35:21
Speaker 1: And that's not I mean, that's nothing it's.
35:23
Speaker 2: It's really I mean to most people. To me was
35:26
Speaker 2: it was something because it was indicular. But I will say,
35:29
Speaker 2: so we're talking about not being as skillful after the fires,
35:33
Speaker 2: I noticed that that was happening a little bit more often.
35:38
Speaker 2: And again, if you're like like, people will laugh at
35:41
Speaker 2: me because it would be like, you know, three drinks
35:46
Speaker 2: a week or whatever, like, but for.
35:48
Speaker 1: Me, that's like, you're about taking care of yourself and.
35:54
Speaker 2: It's and it's also so about like it's more because
35:58
Speaker 2: you know, I'm I'm it was more about I was
36:01
Speaker 2: looking forward to it. It was more about all I'd
36:06
Speaker 2: like to have, like that's new to me, Like even
36:10
Speaker 2: back in the day when I like, I never thought
36:12
Speaker 2: about yeah, like exactly, so I noticed that it was
36:18
Speaker 2: like part of my mind, this is a small part,
36:20
Speaker 2: but part of my mind was kind of looking forward
36:22
Speaker 2: to it. And that was a big red flag for me.
36:23
Speaker 2: And it was like, oh, so you know it was
36:26
Speaker 2: Fortunately for me, it's a very easy thing to kind
36:28
Speaker 2: of just shut down again.
36:30
Speaker 1: But I mean, I think for so many people who
36:32
Speaker 1: do struggle with severe addictions, yes, this sounds like nothing,
36:37
Speaker 1: but for you, it was something.
36:39
Speaker 2: And it's also maybe like yes, for sure, So not
36:44
Speaker 2: minimizing somebody who's because if you have a history of addiction,
36:50
Speaker 2: like having that one drink could ruin your whole life.
36:53
Speaker 2: And so please don't take this like that was not
36:56
Speaker 2: a thing for me, clearly, and this is an indication.
37:00
Speaker 2: But I didn't like it, Like I was like, I don't.
37:04
Speaker 2: I don't. That's a that's a that's a bizarre for
37:07
Speaker 2: me for me to kind of like want that or
37:10
Speaker 2: to numb out or look forward to that. It was
37:11
Speaker 2: an indication that I wasn't using the tools and the
37:15
Speaker 2: things that I had developed in the last twenty years
37:17
Speaker 2: of my life to become a better person and to
37:19
Speaker 2: try to like deal with challenges and problems in a
37:22
Speaker 2: more productive and effective way. And at the same time,
37:27
Speaker 2: I was being very gentle with myself, like I was
37:30
Speaker 2: just noticing it and being aware of it, and and
37:35
Speaker 2: then eventually I eventually like I just kind of stopped.
37:41
Speaker 2: And I prefer that, Yeah, Like I I wear this
37:45
Speaker 2: little help like fitness tracker. It's called Whoop and Whoop.
37:49
Speaker 2: I like that, and it's a really good one. It's
37:51
Speaker 2: a very very effective one. I don't work for them.
37:54
Speaker 2: And I noticed that when even if I had half
37:57
Speaker 2: a drink or something like my numbers, my sleep quality,
38:00
Speaker 2: my hr my heart rate variability, my blood oxygen level,
38:03
Speaker 2: and my heart rate. All of it was like shot,
38:06
Speaker 2: Like my recovery was in the red, like just a
38:09
Speaker 2: drink because I'm so sensitive to it.
38:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're so on top of what's going on
38:14
Speaker 1: with your body now, and.
38:15
Speaker 2: Now it's been like weeks and weeks or months where
38:17
Speaker 2: I haven't and I'm in the green and my numbers
38:21
Speaker 2: are great, and I'm like, this is what I want
38:22
Speaker 2: to be and I feel fresh, and you know, I
38:25
Speaker 2: want to like, yeah, I want to be able to
38:28
Speaker 2: resist a craving that I know isn't in the direction
38:33
Speaker 2: of who I want to be, Like, I want to
38:34
Speaker 2: be able to sit with it and be like, I'm
38:35
Speaker 2: feeling this coming up, So how can I handle this?
38:38
Speaker 2: Do I have to act on it? Do I want
38:39
Speaker 2: to act on it? Do I want to have? What
38:41
Speaker 2: are my other options? And I just try to take
38:43
Speaker 2: my time and be mindful of it, and you know,
38:46
Speaker 2: and it's it's better for me, Like.
38:49
Speaker 1: You're back on the rails.
38:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely back on the rails.
38:53
Speaker 1: I like Cameron on the rails. Me too, yeah, me to,
38:58
Speaker 1: and I know that you're your spirituality had to have
39:02
Speaker 1: been a big part of helping you through that. I
39:05
Speaker 1: can only imagine.
39:08
Speaker 2: I think it probably saved my life, like it was.
39:11
Speaker 3: I don't want to be dramatic, you're an actor, man,
39:18
Speaker 3: it felt like it.
39:19
Speaker 2: Did, like especially in the breakup, especially you know, in
39:22
Speaker 2: the separation, I was in a lot of pain.
39:30
Speaker 1: What was your lowest? Will you tell me? Because I've
39:34
Speaker 1: had a lot of lows.
39:35
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, I know, I talked a little bit about.
39:38
Speaker 1: I don't know the details, but you think it was
39:40
Speaker 1: the separation.
39:43
Speaker 2: The low for me? Wow, that's tricky because that morning
39:47
Speaker 2: at the house when I walked up there, that had
39:48
Speaker 2: to have been a massive low. But also in a
39:52
Speaker 2: weird way, it was it was as if kind of
39:56
Speaker 2: whatever you want to say, but the universe was sort
39:58
Speaker 2: of saying like, no, you really need like a fresh
40:03
Speaker 2: fresh start, like you need to start over, like relationship gone,
40:08
Speaker 2: kids out of the house, dog gone, house gone, possessions gone,
40:12
Speaker 2: health jeopardized. Who are you now? Like what are you
40:16
Speaker 2: going to do now? So even though that on paper
40:20
Speaker 2: would feel like the ultimate low, and maybe it is
40:22
Speaker 2: in one level emotionally close to that, or maybe even
40:28
Speaker 2: lower was the breakup when it wasn't officially yet, but
40:33
Speaker 2: I knew things weren't good. Like I was living in
40:35
Speaker 2: our little guesthouse and my dog had cancer and was paralyzed.
40:40
Speaker 2: He's like beautiful dober Men and he couldn't use his
40:42
Speaker 2: back legs, and so I was like in so much pain,
40:47
Speaker 2: not sleeping, my mind going. My dog was out there
40:52
Speaker 2: with me and paralyzed and couldn't walk, and I was
40:54
Speaker 2: having to help him, and he was up in the
40:56
Speaker 2: night and he didn't have control of his bowels, and
40:58
Speaker 2: it was it was such like it was just a
41:02
Speaker 2: real dark low where it was. I just felt like
41:06
Speaker 2: everything was kind of slipping away. And yeah, I'm sleeping
41:11
Speaker 2: on this like pull out couch in my guesthouse. And
41:14
Speaker 2: then there's just a lot of emotional pain, and I've
41:19
Speaker 2: got a lot of frustration and confusion and fear and.
41:24
Speaker 1: All those things are so hard to sit with.
41:26
Speaker 2: Yeah alone, yeah in your mind, Like you know, there's
41:32
Speaker 2: physical pain and then there's mental pain, emotional pain, and
41:34
Speaker 2: I think in many many ways, I've had a lot
41:36
Speaker 2: of really intense physical pain and it's it's very scary,
41:41
Speaker 2: very hard, but I don't think it compares to like
41:44
Speaker 2: emotional mental pain, and.
41:45
Speaker 1: We don't think we're strong enough to get through it.
41:48
Speaker 1: Like I think probably that's the biggest fear, is like
41:51
Speaker 1: I don't know how I can get through this, like
41:54
Speaker 1: I need some help. And then maybe that's when you
41:58
Speaker 1: turn to remembering what you've learned.
42:02
Speaker 2: Or yeah, it has that's exactly right, like it's I
42:06
Speaker 2: would notice that in that time, in that stretch, you know,
42:09
Speaker 2: I was going to you know, talk therapy and it
42:11
Speaker 2: was very helpful. But then also my classes and my
42:15
Speaker 2: studies and my meditation and even something as simple as
42:17
Speaker 2: just like counting mantras or something in the in the center,
42:21
Speaker 2: and the way that I felt after a class or
42:24
Speaker 2: after a study or a meditation session, it was as
42:27
Speaker 2: if all of the conditions of my life, the challenging
42:30
Speaker 2: conditions of my life, they felt different. I had more
42:33
Speaker 2: compassion and love, I had more patience and acceptance and understanding.
42:39
Speaker 2: I like the world looked brighter. And then slowly you
42:44
Speaker 2: lose that perspective in life, and an argument and things
42:47
Speaker 2: at that, and then you got to get back and
42:49
Speaker 2: I just knew that that became like the real indication
42:52
Speaker 2: that you know, I need this in my life, and
42:55
Speaker 2: this is it was the most incredible, like night and day.
43:00
Speaker 2: Sometimes I felt like in our couple's therapy at that time,
43:02
Speaker 2: before things were worked out, that it made it worse,
43:05
Speaker 2: Like you're talking about the problem and you're dwelling on
43:08
Speaker 2: the problem and sometimes can be more like problem oriented
43:13
Speaker 2: and not solution oriented. I'm not saying all time, and
43:17
Speaker 2: you're coming out and you're actually more worked up and
43:19
Speaker 2: agitated and feel worse off than when you went in.
43:22
Speaker 1: The same thing happened to David and I because we
43:25
Speaker 1: went through a big breakup for a year and we
43:30
Speaker 1: tried couple therapy. We both hated it. It made us further,
43:35
Speaker 1: it took us further apart.
43:36
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy? Like it's not crazy, because I think
43:41
Speaker 2: there's actually books written about how if it's not, I
43:46
Speaker 2: don't really know because I haven't read all of them.
43:48
Speaker 2: But essentially, the essence from what I understand is dwelling
43:52
Speaker 2: and sort of sitting in the problem and going back
43:56
Speaker 2: and forth, you know, and the problem said she said, right,
43:59
Speaker 2: it can just spiral it up and you're you're almost
44:02
Speaker 2: like exaggerating the bad qualities and you're just kind of
44:06
Speaker 2: like reliving it and retriggering it versus really being more
44:11
Speaker 2: kind of on a solution oriented or or you know,
44:14
Speaker 2: there's other strategies, but for me, that was my experience.
44:20
Speaker 1: I think for me, it came down to forgiveness that
44:24
Speaker 1: it was very hard to get there. Yeah, like that
44:26
Speaker 1: took a lot of digging. Good for you, but forgiveness
44:29
Speaker 1: of the other person's actions or what desires or whatever
44:33
Speaker 1: caused it. And then the forgiveness to myself for myself
44:39
Speaker 1: for whether I didn't take the best care of myself
44:43
Speaker 1: through it, I wasn't the best mom through it, really
44:47
Speaker 1: saying like you just went through something really really rough
44:50
Speaker 1: and you need to continue to love yourself through it.
44:53
Speaker 1: And that's one of the things too with like, I
44:55
Speaker 1: talk a lot to everyone about choosing themselves and the
44:57
Speaker 1: importance of saying I choose me. And there are times
45:03
Speaker 1: when I'll go to a class, budd a class and
45:06
Speaker 1: the focus is so not on the me.
45:11
Speaker 2: So how do you please tell me about this? Because
45:13
Speaker 2: this is really interesting. This is where people get a
45:15
Speaker 2: lot of the wrong idea about.
45:18
Speaker 1: So I get I get twisted in my own mind
45:21
Speaker 1: and think, oh, no is choosing myself or is allowing
45:25
Speaker 1: myself to know that it's okay to choose myself. Is
45:27
Speaker 1: that being selfish? Because it's really and I asked one
45:34
Speaker 1: of the teachers in the Pasadena class on it's about, like,
45:37
Speaker 1: how do you know, how do you explain that to me?
45:41
Speaker 1: If I'm choosing myself and my selfish or am I
45:43
Speaker 1: always supposed to be putting others first and their happiness
45:46
Speaker 1: before my own? Right, which, yes, that does help you,
45:49
Speaker 1: that makes you feel better. But at the same time,
45:52
Speaker 1: it's kind of all the same message, like it's all
45:55
Speaker 1: about when you do choose to take care of yourself
46:00
Speaker 1: more available and helpful and useful to.
46:04
Speaker 2: Others, like getting like good sleep and doing like good
46:09
Speaker 2: feel good things that are your sort of green light
46:11
Speaker 2: behaviors that you love to go down and playing golf
46:14
Speaker 2: or whatever, like doing things that nurture you. But then also,
46:19
Speaker 2: you know, in Buddhism we hear, like in society, we
46:22
Speaker 2: hear a lot about self love. I choose me self
46:25
Speaker 2: love and a really cool description of sort of the
46:30
Speaker 2: Buddhist philosophy on self love is so love like I
46:34
Speaker 2: talked about in a Buddhist perspective or Eastern philosophy perspective,
46:38
Speaker 2: is is a deep wish for others to be happy
46:42
Speaker 2: and cherishing others and caring. But that that's like pure love,
46:45
Speaker 2: like without that sort of selfish intention, So self love
46:51
Speaker 2: like you know, wishing so love would be wishing others
46:54
Speaker 2: to have pure happiness, like lasting peace and happiness. So
46:57
Speaker 2: self love would be wishing that for yourself to find peace,
47:02
Speaker 2: like real deep peace and lasting happiness. That would be
47:07
Speaker 2: considered self love from a Buddhist perspective. And the best
47:11
Speaker 2: way to do that is to you know, like meditate
47:15
Speaker 2: on virtue and to train in patience and love and
47:17
Speaker 2: wisdom and compassion. And that's that's like basically how like
47:21
Speaker 2: that self love of healing your heart and your mind
47:25
Speaker 2: at the same time taking care of yourself and like
47:29
Speaker 2: you know, eating well and sleeping well and drinking lots
47:31
Speaker 2: of water and going for walks and saying no like
47:35
Speaker 2: these are all minds, like you know, wishing others to
47:38
Speaker 2: be happy and caring about others. It doesn't in fact,
47:42
Speaker 2: very little of it is physical action. It can be
47:44
Speaker 2: verbal because of verbal but so much of it is
47:46
Speaker 2: just a shift of the mind, like you know, may
47:48
Speaker 2: you be happy, may you experience beautiful conditions. May you,
47:51
Speaker 2: you know, find peace in your life. May you find
47:52
Speaker 2: a new home after the fire, is just like it's
47:55
Speaker 2: just a mind, it's just a shift of the mind.
47:57
Speaker 1: One of the biggest things for me was the teaching
47:59
Speaker 1: that looking at someone and being angry at someone. You've
48:03
Speaker 1: talked about it before in the class you taught me about,
48:05
Speaker 1: like when you're driving and someone cuts you off and
48:07
Speaker 1: you get angry and you look at the guy and
48:08
Speaker 1: you're like, you know, hey, asshole. But being able to
48:15
Speaker 1: look at others as if with the knowing that all
48:21
Speaker 1: they want is to be free from suffering and pain
48:24
Speaker 1: in their own lives. So when you think about someone
48:28
Speaker 1: and you look at someone, even a stranger, if you
48:32
Speaker 1: put that thought first, it just changes how you see people.
48:37
Speaker 1: Like it's such a it's like a like a leveling
48:40
Speaker 1: of humanity. Yeah, the goosies.
48:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so beautiful and it's so true. You would
48:46
Speaker 2: change the world. It would literally change everybody's relationship, and
48:50
Speaker 2: it changes our mind and it changes our relationship with
48:52
Speaker 2: the situation. It completely changes the person in the supermarket
48:56
Speaker 2: that cuts you off, or on the street or whatever,
48:59
Speaker 2: when you know you just think they're just trying to
49:01
Speaker 2: be happy. They're trying to be free from pain and suffering.
49:03
Speaker 2: They're trying to get home to their kids. Maybe they
49:05
Speaker 2: worked in All Night Show. They just want to be
49:07
Speaker 2: just like me. Their wish for that happiness and to
49:11
Speaker 2: have peace in their life and joy and freedom from
49:14
Speaker 2: pain and all that feels to them exactly the way
49:18
Speaker 2: mine does feel to me. And we're the same. And
49:21
Speaker 2: may you be happy.
49:22
Speaker 1: Happy to be happy. It's the greatest thing. I could
49:26
Speaker 1: talk about it for forever. You did good by introducing
49:30
Speaker 1: me to it. So that's why I really do have
49:33
Speaker 1: a place in my heart for you. I do want
49:42
Speaker 1: to just talk about this in you redefining what is
49:49
Speaker 1: next for Camera Matheson, Like what do you want? The
49:52
Speaker 1: world is your oyster. You've decided to focus on providing
49:57
Speaker 1: functional health coaching for other people, which is right on
50:02
Speaker 1: brand for you.
50:02
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you good. I'm glad
50:05
Speaker 2: because it just it's just me. It's as I sort
50:09
Speaker 2: of alluded to earlier, like it changed the whole way
50:11
Speaker 2: that I come at health and longevity and fitness and
50:16
Speaker 2: training and happiness. Like it's an amazing.
50:20
Speaker 1: People look at you and they think I want what
50:22
Speaker 1: he has, Like I want to be able to live
50:25
Speaker 1: a healthy life like he has and overcome my own adversities.
50:28
Speaker 1: But now it's as if you're taking all of that
50:30
Speaker 1: hardship that you endured and helping others with it.
50:34
Speaker 2: That as honestly my goal. This is a passion project.
50:36
Speaker 2: This is something that I know from my own experience
50:38
Speaker 2: change like so a functional health coach. So we all
50:41
Speaker 2: know what functional health like, a functional medicine doctor, but
50:43
Speaker 2: it's it's so much more than that.
50:46
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop. What is a functional health doctor compared
50:50
Speaker 1: to just a regular old doctor.
50:52
Speaker 2: So generally, a functional health doctor, from my best understanding,
50:56
Speaker 2: is somebody that treats more the root cause of things
51:00
Speaker 2: so versus you know, I think in a lot of cases,
51:03
Speaker 2: western medicine treats symptoms. It's more like sick health excuse me,
51:07
Speaker 2: sick treatment versus health treatment. And a functional doctor will
51:12
Speaker 2: try to look at the root causes and very helpful.
51:17
Speaker 2: But oftentimes you can go to a functional medicine doctor
51:20
Speaker 2: and they give you some supplements and they give you
51:22
Speaker 2: some protocols and things, and then you're on your way
51:25
Speaker 2: and there's no follow up and there's nobody there to
51:28
Speaker 2: hold your hand or answer your question. So a functional
51:30
Speaker 2: health coach takes the essence of functional medicine looking trying
51:35
Speaker 2: to heal your body and its root causes of things.
51:38
Speaker 2: Like you know, for instance, I had acid reflux for
51:42
Speaker 2: ten years. I was given an acid reflux acid reflux
51:45
Speaker 2: medication from a doctor that is directly correlated with kidney cancer,
51:50
Speaker 2: the exact type of cancer I had. It caused the
51:52
Speaker 2: digestion and my gut acid production to shut down, ruin
51:57
Speaker 2: my digestion, which was the cause of my microbiome imbalance
52:00
Speaker 2: all of that. So they're treating a symptom, but the
52:04
Speaker 2: root cause often gets worse, whereas functional medicine will try
52:08
Speaker 2: to get to the root props. Why is your at
52:09
Speaker 2: why is you Why do you have acid reflux? What's
52:11
Speaker 2: going on? Is it because you have too little acid? No,
52:13
Speaker 2: it's it's excuse me if it's because you have too
52:15
Speaker 2: much acid. No, it's because you have too little acid.
52:18
Speaker 2: So I shifted and I started taking each cl with
52:22
Speaker 2: my meals, lemon water, some some sauerkrat which is fermented vegetables,
52:26
Speaker 2: as well as ginger tea, and in three days, after
52:30
Speaker 2: twelve years of being on medication. In three days with
52:34
Speaker 2: just lifestyle and diet changes, my acid reflux was gone.
52:38
Speaker 2: So like, so that's sort of more of the functional
52:41
Speaker 2: approach using natural foods and lifestyle supplements. Maybe peptides. We
52:47
Speaker 2: have a peptide department, Hormone replacement therapy division like AVITE,
52:52
Speaker 2: like a medical division testing like elaborate hormone and gut
52:56
Speaker 2: and blood work testing, because there's a lot of things
52:59
Speaker 2: that you can learn from that testing that you wouldn't
53:01
Speaker 2: get just from like going to a trainer or going
53:04
Speaker 2: to like a functional medicine doctor or whatever. And this
53:06
Speaker 2: and the coaching is where you check in weekly and
53:09
Speaker 2: you send progress photos and you you put online like
53:12
Speaker 2: you know, how much water you're drinking, how's your sleep,
53:14
Speaker 2: how many steps are you getting? What are you struggling with? What?
53:16
Speaker 2: You have a partner, You have a partner in it
53:18
Speaker 2: their head. It's just it literally you have somebody that's
53:21
Speaker 2: you're accountable to, and it inspires you to, Yeah, just
53:25
Speaker 2: keep your track and of course you're gonna fall off
53:27
Speaker 2: and do things. And you know, I had my birthday
53:29
Speaker 2: the other day and I was like whatever I wanted
53:31
Speaker 2: to eat and it was great. And then you just
53:33
Speaker 2: get back on track and you just do.
53:34
Speaker 1: Wait. I was going to have a cupcake for you today,
53:36
Speaker 1: Oh you were, but then I thought no, I would
53:39
Speaker 1: get him a carrot, because he's.
53:40
Speaker 2: Not going to eat just a carrot, some celery and
53:41
Speaker 2: some homicies, would it.
53:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course did.
53:44
Speaker 2: I certainly had my my first shir yesterday. But but anyway, Yeah,
53:47
Speaker 2: So that's so I started Health three sixty. It's it's
53:50
Speaker 2: a new passion project. It's my so I joined forces
53:53
Speaker 2: with Vital Coaching, which Vince Pittstick and Vital and we've
53:56
Speaker 2: got a new division called Health three sixty, which I'm
53:59
Speaker 2: you know, the face of and spreading the word and
54:02
Speaker 2: telling my story. And this is literally only because I
54:05
Speaker 2: see how many people get it wrong. They try so hard,
54:10
Speaker 2: and you know, oftentimes what used to work when we
54:12
Speaker 2: are younger stops working. And it can be for a
54:14
Speaker 2: like a million different reasons. You know, hormones, gut health, inflammation, cortisol,
54:19
Speaker 2: blood sugar, you know, you know, parasites, mold explode you.
54:23
Speaker 2: And medicine doesn't take care of that. They'll just give
54:25
Speaker 2: you like a pill where they'll train harder, cut more calories.
54:29
Speaker 2: That's just like it's not the answer. Sometimes it works
54:32
Speaker 2: for a little while, but ultimately it doesn't.
54:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like so big and complicated to even
54:38
Speaker 1: like say, redirect your gut health. Yeah, you know, yeah,
54:43
Speaker 1: of course like that, I don't even know where to begin.
54:46
Speaker 2: So that's that's a great example. I know, we don't
54:48
Speaker 2: have tons of time to get in. I don't want
54:49
Speaker 2: to like board people like, but re kind of balancing
54:53
Speaker 2: your gut microbiome is unbelievably tricky. Like you really need
55:00
Speaker 2: to have a protocol that is very, very elaborate and works,
55:05
Speaker 2: because taking a little bit of probiotics and cutting carbs
55:09
Speaker 2: isn't doing anything to balance your gut microbiome. You're starving
55:13
Speaker 2: that bad bacteria, but they're just in hibernation. They're gonna
55:16
Speaker 2: come out the next time you have a cookie or
55:18
Speaker 2: a plate apasta or a piece of bread, and they're
55:20
Speaker 2: gonna go nuts and you're gonna be distended and in pain,
55:23
Speaker 2: and you'll be like, I've been so good, what happened?
55:25
Speaker 2: Because you haven't done.
55:26
Speaker 1: Anything so suffer from that. Fiona and Lola both have
55:31
Speaker 1: just chronic pain a tummy problem.
55:33
Speaker 2: When they eat certain foods. So food sensitivies or like that,
55:36
Speaker 2: that bacteria can be very specific to certain food and
55:40
Speaker 2: I know firsthand it was unbelievably annoying. But Health three
55:44
Speaker 2: sixty and the coaches that we've had and that have
55:47
Speaker 2: been working for a long time with Vital and now
55:49
Speaker 2: with Health three sixty, have a protocol that I mean,
55:55
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, I tried for two decades to try
55:57
Speaker 2: to heal my gut. In six months, I did like
56:01
Speaker 2: another gut test. It's almost like it looks like a
56:05
Speaker 2: different human.
56:06
Speaker 1: This is exciting. I'm going to be texting you all
56:08
Speaker 1: the time. Wait, we did two Christmas movies.
56:11
Speaker 3: Mister Christmas, we did two together.
56:14
Speaker 1: I thought those were your only two you did.
56:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done a couple more.
56:18
Speaker 1: How many more?
56:23
Speaker 2: I mean, not all Christmas Christmas, probably like probably eight
56:28
Speaker 2: more or.
56:29
Speaker 1: No nine, maybe because i've seen you.
56:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done I've done a bunch more. But yeah,
56:36
Speaker 2: I've done a few through these, thank goodness. Yeah, they've
56:38
Speaker 2: been great to me. Have great American families, which is
56:40
Speaker 2: where kind Heart of Christmas was. I got one coming
56:45
Speaker 2: out this Christmas with Cannabis with Candice Cameron Maurray. I
56:48
Speaker 2: know it's a really sweet one. I know it's gonna
56:50
Speaker 2: have a theatrical release for the first time in Great
56:52
Speaker 2: American Families history.
56:54
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, I also just have to always ask, yeah,
57:00
Speaker 1: guess Cameron matheson, what was your last I Choose Me moment?
57:07
Speaker 2: My last I Choose Me moment was when I went
57:12
Speaker 2: to London to help my son kind of move stuff
57:16
Speaker 2: from storage into his college apartment flat. And then I
57:19
Speaker 2: added on about six or seven days and I got
57:24
Speaker 2: a rental car and I drove north into the Lake
57:26
Speaker 2: District in northern UK by myself on the wrong side
57:30
Speaker 2: of the car, on the wrong side of the street,
57:32
Speaker 2: other side, and I did a like a six day
57:36
Speaker 2: series of teachings and meditation retreat and rented a little
57:41
Speaker 2: airbnb and was in nature and and it was very
57:44
Speaker 2: healing and and just sort of filled my soul up.
57:49
Speaker 2: And that was a great gift to myself. Yeah, it
57:54
Speaker 2: was really it was a really good I Choose Me because,
57:58
Speaker 2: like we talked about, it was very healing for me,
58:02
Speaker 2: but in doing so, like I'm so much more of
58:05
Speaker 2: a benefit to others and can be just like you
58:09
Speaker 2: sort of filled the tank of patience and kindness and
58:12
Speaker 2: respect and you know, got all these beautiful teachings that
58:15
Speaker 2: like I just want to like sort of embody in
58:17
Speaker 2: the world, and then at the same time just felt
58:20
Speaker 2: so good myself, so that felt like it was a
58:22
Speaker 2: real gift. I love no thanks, I love you too.