Latest / Two Broke Chicks / Chicks Chat: Cost Of Weddings, Crushes & Girl Code

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Chicks Chat: Cost Of Weddings, Crushes & Girl Code · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm out and I'm so and this is
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: two broa Chicks, the show that shares life and tips.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: To help make you rich in life. Hello Sally, Hello Alick?
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: How is that? We're British? Now? How are you good?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: We hit six hundred k followers on Instagram this.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's like wild. Yeah, so it's been a good week,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: crazy and it's already at like six fifteen. It's wild
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: that I'm like so tonight we steal then literally yeah,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: pinions of chicks.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: We also had like our biggest month of podcast downloads,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: so we are slowly but surely taking over the world. Anyway,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: So we are back for another diabolical episode of Dilemmas
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: and confessions. And we've had a little squizz at some
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: of these and I'm ready me too, I'm strapped in
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: They're juicy. We haven't discussed it, so I want to
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: know like your thoughts on some of these as well. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: We'll be getting my live reactions kinder.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Live reactions on the park.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but before we get into them, should we
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: do our obsessions of the week, of course, sadly tell
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: me what you're obsessed with. I mean, I feel like
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: you probably already know what I'm about to say. But
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: my obsession of the week is that Hillary Duff is
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: coming to Australia finally, and I've never seen her live before.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I don't when was the last time she was he
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: thinking like the two thousands, like I would have been
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: in primary school.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: You didn't have big girl money exactly.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So I think like some of my friends who I
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: went to primary school with, like their parents took them
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: and I was beyond jealous. But I'm so excited She's
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: coming for the Lucky Me Tour and she's doing six
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: states across Australia and New Zealand October this year.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: That's quick, Yeah.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I know, because I feel like, am I like, do
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I not have a good gauge on this stuff?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: It depends. It depends.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Like if you think about Harry, those tickets went on
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: sale in early feb and he's coming in December, and
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: that Lady Gaga that was like April to December, so
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: it is kind of like that six to nine moth
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Plaid time.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I can get away.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I'm stressed we need to start planning, Like what am
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I going to do?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Oh? I just can't wait because I've been seeing all
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: of her.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: She's been doing a couple of concerts in I think
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: like La and Yeah, and I've just had so much
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: FOMO because it looks so fun and she's just so cute.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know if she'll come
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: to Australia. One of the chicks dmd US the other
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: week and was like she's teased that there's a world
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: talk like coming blah blah like Gourgielins and I was like, chick. Yeah,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I was like I really hope so, but how can
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: we have Hillary Duff doing a tour but we haven't
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: had Sabrina Carpenter, I know, like make that make sense?
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: That'll be coming surely either her own tour.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe headlining lane Way next year because they're gonna
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: have to back up they've done Charlie Chapel.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: They need to complete the trinity of the Powerpuff Girls.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I don't want to have to go
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: to a whole festival just to see the one person
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I want.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I would rather them do their own concerts. Like the
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: crowd at chapel.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You were saying was was in not again it was wild?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was wild. I'm not built for that. That's okay.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: I'm thirty.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like having a cup of tea and drinking
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: a rose with my cat.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah that's me. That's okay. But yeah, that's my obsession.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: What's yours.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: My obsession is that I've finally ticked off a financial
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: bucket list goal of mine and I started investing, which
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, this is a little bit boring, but
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's not.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: This is something that.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like on the show, we've always talked about
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: wanting to get into more and learn a little bit
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: more about it. And yeah, I ended up using an
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: app that made the whole thing so easy, like so
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: easy to understand, because the one thing that was holding
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: me back from starting my investing journey sound like a
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: loser was that I was like, yeah, it can be intimidating.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had no idea how to do it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: And anyway, it was such a simple process and I.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Really like the app because you.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Can literally just transfer money into the account on the app.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: You can even use Apple Page just like put it
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: in there.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: If there's any boundary to me doing anything like I
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: have to go get my card details or my bank details,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: even if that's opening a separate app.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, that's the fucking hard. Yeah. But I
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: was like, boom done, easy, be easy, boom bahlah boom.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, cool. You know they have
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: et apps. They have the individual shares and you can.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: See the history of a like share company and ETF.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: This is lingo that is probably not new to the game.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the underdog, all right, And yeah you can see
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the history of and share an ETF for like one month,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: five years, ten years.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: So cool. I'm so excited. This is like my new hyperfixation.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: I can't wait. We'll go today from the stock yacht coming.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Soon absolutely, and by that I mean in fifty years,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I'll retire comfortably.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I'll have a dinghy y. I'd love a dingy. I'd
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: love a little dinghy just in the morning. But I'm
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: not going to do any rowing. That will be Rob's job.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Shall we get into the dilemmas?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, all right, diabolical dilemma, the one hundred dollars wedding
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: gift scandal.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's always a wedding.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: It's always a wedding, you know, Well, weddings are a
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: place of love and for friendships to fall apart.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so true. Yeah, two sides and then in twenty years.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I just now that's janioush all right, girls, I need
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: to know if I'm the villain or.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: If this is late stage capitalism.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: My friend, let's call her Sophie, got married last month,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: destination wedding. It was about three hours away, gorgeous vineyard
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: but very European summer. But make it bendigo obsessed. I
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: was a bridesmaid. I don't know why I had a testipop.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Then he's a bridesmad I was a bridesmaid. But let
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: me list what this wedding cost me. Three hundred dollars
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: on a bridesmaid's dress, plus one hundred dollars of alterations,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: three hundred and fifty dollars hens weekend, one hundred and
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: eighty dollars on the hen's activities, plus one hundred dollars
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: on decorations because apparently we're splitting everything evenly. Then six
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: hundred dollars on travel and transfers. Four hundred dollars on
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: two nights at the hotel. The bride chose one hundred
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: and fifty dollars on hair and makeup in brackets Manda Tree,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: and seventy five dollars on the uber home from the
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Hens because I missed the last train. Why was there
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: a train involved anyway? Before I stepped into the ceremony,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I was down over two thousand dollars. Now here's where
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: it gets unhinged. The wedding registry mostly three hundred dollars
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: to eight hundred dollar items. It consisted of things like
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Le crousette, smeg, toasters, dice, and vacuums, and there was
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: also a honeymoon fund option, but the suggested contribution started
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: at two hundred and fifty dollars. I decided I physically, spiritually,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: and financially could not justify another three hundred dollars, So
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I gave one hundred dollars cash in a card with
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: a very heartfelt note about love and lifelong friendship. Fast
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: forward three weeks and Sophie calls me. So, Sophie's the bride? Yeah,
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: if he's still with me? Three weeks after the wedding, Yes, okay,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: she says, she was surprised by my gift a mount.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: She says most guests gave around two hundred and fifty
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: dollars to five hundred dollars, and she says she knows
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: how much I earn and that it just feels a
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: bit tight considering Oh my god. She then says, I
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: spent so much on you being in the wedding too. Girls,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: the wedding was black tie, one hundred and twenty guests,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: champagne tower with a live sax player at eleven PM,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: and now apparently my one hundred dollars is the reason
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: she's upset. I later find out she didn't just notice,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: but she bitched about it to a bunch of other people.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: And now the energy in the group chat is tense.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Two bridesmaids think I'm in the wrong because it's customary
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: to at least cover your plate, while one other friend
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: says the wedding industry is a pyramid.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Scheme and I've already paid my jube. Am I that friend.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, our friendship has been really frosty ever since, with
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: very little replies, no memes, and I just don't know
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: what to do. I feel like I'm spiraling. Am I
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: cheap is being a bridesmaid? Basically the gift are we
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: in an economy where friendship is tiered by disposable income.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Is this about money or is this about pride? Because
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: part of me just wants to transfer her another one
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars to just end it, and part
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: of me wants to send her an invoice titled Emotional
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: and Financial Labor Rendered. So tell me, is one hundred
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: dollars a diabolical wedding gift? Or is expecting more after
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: a two thousand dollars wedding out late? The real villain
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: origin story that is so wild I can't believe she
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: called her. Also, can I just say you should go
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: into lack writing? Yeah, because I was really taken on
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: a journey there.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was entranced.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I completely understand that it is customary to cover the
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: cost per head, right like I understand that that people
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: use that as a sort.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Of a baseline if they don't know how much.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: However, the guest has no control over what that cost
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: per head is.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: That's such a good point.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: And also if the other option is to say, excuse me, bride,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: well you're getting ready for your wedding, what's the cost
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: per head for the wedding?
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: They tell you it's three hundred dollars. It's not just
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: like no, but that's what I'm saying.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: So what you reach out to them, confirm what that is,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: and then if that's out of your budget, you say,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'll RSVP no and I won't comet.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: But then, but then you get shipped for not going
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: because it's her special day.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: It's her special days, it's her special day.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: So yeah, you're expected to be there and support. But
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: also then people get pissed because they're like, well, shit,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I need to cover the cost of this, and they
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: expect that the people who are attending are going to
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: be paying some of that back. I do think it's
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: so weird to get pissy about the amount of money
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: someone's put behind a present for you, and like the
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: reason the bride's going, well, I know how much you earn,
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: which one, you're not entitled to her paycheck. But two,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I think the other piece of the puzzle is like
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: she's forked out a lot of money already, yeah, in
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: terms of being a bridesmaid, And now if I could
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: afford it, there are definitely people in this world and
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: in this life that I would be more than happy
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: to fork out a pretty penny for you know, for
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: their wedding.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: But if it was ever expected.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Of me, you're not getting a damn yeah, just out
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: a spy, Just out a spy. Like for you, how
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: much you want ten thousand dollars, You've got that Sally
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: one million, you can have the super yacht once my
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: share is Cashi exactly, you know, but.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Like to think you're entitled to more. I've like, when
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: I went to a wedding, I think I was eighteen, and.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I remember calling mom and I had no idea how
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: much to give? Yeah, And I was like how But
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: also I was like eighteen, yeah, and in an entry
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: level media job.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I don't even think I was no, I was at union.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I was nannying ye.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Like, but even if you have a full time job
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: and you're set up financially, it's not your duty to
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: pay off somebody's wedding exactly. That's your prerogative to set
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: the budget and whether or not you want a champagne
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: shower and those. Do you have an ROI sheet of
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: your fucking wedding with KPIs of every single attendee. It's
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: weird that it's like runners a business, yeah, exactly, When
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: like it's a party.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: You're putting on a party. You want people to come.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Also, even if you are pissed off about the amount
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: someone gave you, I just think it's so weird to
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: confront the person on it, being like.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Oh I would throw up. I would throw up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Like if the audacity to go to someone and be like,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: why didn't you give me more money?
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is like actually wild.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: So I did a quick google then because I was like,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: weddings are are they a pyramids?
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: It's a fair question. Are they the new what is
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: it MLM?
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Exactly, Yeah, so a new typerware party. Seriously, weddings is
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: a new taperware party.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: So, according to Finder, the typical wedding guest in Australia
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: forks out a whopping two thousand, five hundred and ninety
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: three dollars to attend the wedding dress for the event,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: buy the gift, and take part in pre wedding activities.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: That is why that is not okay. Yeah, that is
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: not okay.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: What happens if you have five weddings in a year,
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: That's what I was going to say.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: That's over ten thousand dollars. I can't do. Master don't
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: quote that, Yeah, it's a lot of money. Let's just
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: say that. Yeah.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: So the biggest expense is travel at an average cost
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: of one thousand and thirty eight dollars, followed by accommodation,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: which is six hundred and.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Sixty five dollars.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: So, according to this article from moneymag if you're asked
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: to contribute cash, as a rule of thumb, you should
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: contribute at least what you would pay for a three
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: course meal. I suggest a minimum of one hundred dollars
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: and usually around one fifty to two hundred per person,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: more if you're close to the couple or wish to
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: be generous. But also, I don't get to pick what
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: I'm having for dinner either, and.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: I like, I'm a vegetarian.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: It all sucks as a vegetarian one my meal is
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: always worth a lot less than everybody else's.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: And also it's usually pretty shit.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Like whoa Okay, wedding gifts cost attendees are staggering two
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: hundred and ninety five dollars on average.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe what, maybe it's a good thing to
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: not have that many friends.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Nay money, that's like we were talking about last week,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Like you get priced out of your friendships. Yeah, if
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: it costs two point five thousand dollars to go to
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: a wedding, I don't need a free drink that much.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: It's not a free drink at that point, is it.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think totally up to you.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: If you want to have like a beautiful, extravagant wedding
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: and you go all out and have you know, every
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: single thing that you've ever wanted on your wish to this,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: that's amazing. But you do need to budget, Like you
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: need to budget your friends to pay you back for
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: the wedding that you chose to have. Like Rob and
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I talk about like if you know the dream the
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: dream vibe of a wedding would be to go back
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: to this like really small town in Italy, right and
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: like one not engaged, two working on it. Three like again,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: like that's a pasta thrown at a wall and see
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: if it sticks. Right, And there is no universe that
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: if anyone came to me and was like, look, I
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: just can't.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Make it work.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: I can't get the time off work, I can't afford
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: it whatever, that I would be like you bitch. Yeah,
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, you can do whatever you want
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: for your wedding, but you cannot control what other people
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: do exactly. So I don't think you're the asshole or
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: stingy or you're tight or whatever the question was.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: And I think that in terms of would.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: You respond because part of me has had a coffee
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: on an empty stomach and is feeling flirty, that I
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: would get a bank statement and calculate the entire cost
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: and be like, Hi, Sophie, yeah, I've actually contributed this
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: much to your day. I'm really sorry you felt like
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: that wasn't enough. How much more do you think I
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: should contribute? What do you think is a fair amount
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: for me to contribute further to the above cost? Yeah,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: maybe she doesn't know benefit of the doubt. Yeah, maybe
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Sophie the bride doesn't know how much things like the
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: hens cost because they're not always privy to some of those.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: And there were a few other things, you know, like
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: the uber and the fake tan that is like you
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: kind of have to if you to pay for the
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: the dresses, the makeup, and that it depends so different.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, bridesmaidser wouldn't it? Yeah, me neither, but I think
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: it really varies.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that's so wild. I think this is a
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: tale as old as time. But if you come from
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: it with that, with the receipts, essentially with how much
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: you have contributed, but also say, really, I just wanted
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: to be there for you on your special day. I
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: had an amazing time celebrating with you, and I would
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: hate for something like this to tarnish our friendship.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So a mix of logic and empathy, I think,
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: is how you can That's really us. Yeah.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Our next diabolical dilemma is it okay to have a
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: crush when you're in a relationship.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Yikes, Okay, here we go. Please no names.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: But I've recently moved into state for work and have
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: been with my current partner for seven years since I
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: was seventeen, so she's twenty four.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, so and also bibi.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like so ready to be married
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: and happy, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, my partner is
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: still at home and I have the most diabolical crush
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: on one of my colleagues. I'm talking nervous butterflies. Think
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: he's hitting on me as well, and he's honestly so hot.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: My partner has definitely cottoned on and I feel so horrible,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: But I am genuinely just so in love with two
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: men right now for my life.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: No, I know, Oh in love?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I kind of want to dive into.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Are we in love or are we in lust?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Zay Melick yeh exactly, say Maleck twenty twenty six called daddycast.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Okay, I think that in a relationship.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Do you think it's normal to have a crush?
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Okay? I looked it up. Yeah, okay, So.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I looked it up and there is a study and
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: a report because you know, we love the science, yep,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: and it says as many as seventy percent of people
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: experience crushes while being in a committed relationship.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought so.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: It made me like, not from a judgment point of
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: anyone else, but the idea of like Rob having a
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: crush on someone makes me want to throw up? Yeah?
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: How where ba what? I will say? One?
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: I think that stat shows that like if you ever
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: do you know, start a new job and you do
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: have a partner and you've been with that partner phrages,
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: and you start a new job and there is someone
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: at that job that you're like, huh.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: That's okay?
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: At a mind at a man talking to this person
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: at a mind, looking at them for extended periods of
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: time and smelling their breath. That it's like, you're not
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the devil, Like you're not evil for you know, maybe
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: having a little bit of a crush.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, but it comes it's like how far are
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: we running with it? Exactly?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Is the point that it's like, yeah, if Jacob A
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Lordie worked at our job, I'd be like, that is
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: one fun man wondering world, but I ain't gonna do
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: anything about it. Yeah.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I think that's the thing.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Like you can think that somebody is hot or think
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: somebody is attractive when you're in a relationship. I think
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: that is pretty normal.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? Not look at anyone exactly?
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: But the fact that she finished saying, but I genuinely
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: am just so in love with two men right now,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: fuck my life.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: I don't know if that's hyperbole. I think that it
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: probably is.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Can I also say she has been in a seven
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: year relationship since she was seventeen, And that's not to
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: say that like everyone that has gone into a relationship
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: since they were really young, like doesn't have the space
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: to grow and exploreing whatever, Like you have been in
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: a relationship since you were fifteen, right, and you've never
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: felt that way. But it's like potentially it's that point
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: of what would she be twenty four that that's like
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: the quarter life crisis era of like, hmm, have you
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: sold your oats?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Have you experienced life to the fullest?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: And is this the catalyst that is making you be like,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: maybe I'm not ready to get married, Maybe I do
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: want to.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Explore some other things.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that is what she thinks, but I
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: know that there were times when I was younger that
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I thought I was ready for more of a commitment
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: than I was.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: And I'm really glad that I didn't lock in.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Like I thought I was supposed to back then, because
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I was able to then experience so many more things
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: that have made me who I am. And so if
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: you genuinely think you're in love with another person, I
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: think you know what to do. Yeah, But if it's
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: just a crush, then like maybe real it back, yeah,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: because like the I think the flirting and that stuff
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: is where it starts getting a bit iffy. And she's
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: said that her boyfriend has picked up on it, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: now it made me, so sad, I wouldn't be legally
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: responsible for what I would do. No if I found
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: out that job was flown and had a crush with
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: someone I'm seeing, Yeah, literally damages. Yeah, I'm in lou
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: all of it. But yeah, I think you're in a
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: long distance relationship essentially now with your partner. Also makes
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: it ten times hard, So there's also that.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: But this could be a blessing in disguise.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: But also you probably need some attention as well, which
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that totally, but I think this could
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: be potentially a blessing in disguise. Because you've been with
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: your partner for seven years, since you were seventeen, this
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: can be like a good test period for the relationship
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: as to whether or not you do commit to something
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: like marriage. You know what I mean, because yeah, you
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: could be Is it that you're lonely?
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: Is it that you need attention?
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Is it that you haven't seen your part friend in
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: your long time, or is it that the relationship has
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: gotten a little bit stale? And yes, you love this man,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: but maybe you're not in love with him. I'm going
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: to be so real if my ex of six years
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: and the father of my child came out on a
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: podcast saying that he but he didn't know if he
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: was in love with me ever, and that he thinks
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: it was maybe more lust again suing for emotional damages.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, so what do we think she should do?
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: I think you really have to think of is it
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: the forbidden fruit? Is it like the ooh this is
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: sexy and flirty and fun and hot because one you're
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: not my boyfriend and two I can't have you, and like,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: is that what it is? Or is it genuinely like, Wow,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: this person makes me light up and have sparkly eyes,
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: and I feel like I've got this new invigorated sense
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: of life, and like, don't act on that, but figure
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: out whether or not it's one or the other.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Exactly what do you think? I agree? I think that's
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: one half of the puzzle.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: And then the other half is to look at your
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: existing relationship and maybe take stock of how that makes
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: you feel. Maybe you need to take some space from
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: that relationship, because you also still get the benefit of
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: having a boyfriend who like potentially messages you every morning
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: being like love you, hope you have a good day,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: and you get those nice things of having a boyfriend
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: and having someone you can rely on who's always there.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: But then you also have like the hot guy at
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: work that you can flirt with and it's new and
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: it's fun. It's like you're having your cake and eating
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: it too. So I think if you look at your
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: existing relationship and think to yourself, am I getting my
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: needs genuinely met from this relationship even if I moved
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: back home?
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Or was I just kind of comfortable?
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Do you know? The thing I would do first before
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: any of that is probably pick a friend that you
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: just really really trust and that is like a good friend,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: and like tell them how you feel because they might
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: be able they would know one more than we do,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: but they would probably be able to give you a
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: little maybe a little bit more insight to the situation.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Then you can see because you've got you know, the
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: different colored glasses on.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, at the moment that maybe your.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Friend could be like no, bitch, Jerry is the best,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: like no, exactly blah blah blah, or like she's been
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: like no Simon from sales Sack like.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, blah blah blah blah.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So like maybe you need to confide in a
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: friend with how you're feeling. That's like not going to
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: judge you or be a bit about it, being like,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: that's really mean, Jessica.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Of people also get crushes.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly, somebody who's going to tell you the truth. But yeah,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: with empathy, Yeah again empathy. We listen and we don't judge. Yeah,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: we listen and we don't judge.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Exactly. That was juicy. I love that way. Do we
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: have one more? Super quick? Okay?
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Ready, a final diabolical dilemma, bestie, double standards. Oh shit,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I need some clarity because I genuinely don't know if
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: I'm the villain here. Oh I was seeing locked in. Yeah,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I was seeing a guy in my small town and
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: we had slept together. A bit later, our friend group
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: went out for lunch, and he came up in conversation.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: When my friend and I were alone, she told me
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: she'd also slept with him.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: Her on the Friday, me on the Saturday.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Small town problem ship, small town problems, right. She said
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: he was weird, so I assumed that was the end
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: of it for her. Wait wait, wait, wait wait, So
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: the friend was the Friday and she was the Saturday.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, and then neither of them knew.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: No, okay, And then now the friend has said that
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: he was weird, so she's like, okay, she's not that
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: into him.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: Can the friend be Lola? Yeah, Cola, Lola? And then main.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Character Okay, got it, So Lola and Mandy Lola slept
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: with him. Lola slept with Jeff on the Friday, yep,
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: and then Mandy slept with Jeff on the Saturday.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Four nights later from the lunch, I randomly checked my phone,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: saw one eleven on the clock, very trust your intuition, energy,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: and decided to look at find my friends.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: I saw she was at his place. Lola. Yep, Lola,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: is that Jeff's house?
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I messaged a couple of my friends like oh my god,
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: and one of the message her asking where she was.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: Lola replied his place with the.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Side eye emoji. The next day, I was flying out
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: for a festival on the same flight as Jeff. I
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: chose not to respond to him at all. That same day,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: my friend messaged me asking if I was still talking
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: to him and said things weren't serious between them. I
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: told her I valued our friendship more than a guy
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: and left it at that.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: At the festival, the guy and I bumped into.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Each other he found out that I knew he'd let
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: with my friend and swore he didn't know we were
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: friends and said she was the one who reached out
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: to him that night.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I we'll have Instagram these days. Literally, Sorry, I keep
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: interrupting you. No, one thing led to another.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Too many drinks later, I ended up sleeping with him
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: and again multiple times after that. So here's my question.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Does that make me a bad friend for doing the
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: same thing she did to me? Or is this just
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: messy small town dating with a side of double standards?
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Mandy, Mandy, you dog, Mandy?
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, do you know what this reminds me of? Yeah,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: it reminds me of like is it Season two Emily
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: in Paris when Emily and Camille Camie Camille both agreed
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: to stop pursuing Gabriel, so it makes Emily stop going
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: for him, but then Camille goes for him.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I know, I don't think anyone's doing that, but that's
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: what it reminded me of. But also that's potentially what
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: your friend might think that you're doing that.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: What I was gonna say, you've gone back and being like, no,
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I'm not interested, but they're fine.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because the friends texted you being like, are you
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: still talking to him? Yeah? And did like she didn't
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: mention in that whether she said yes or no, right,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: she just said that their friendship mattered more. Yeah, she said,
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: asking if I was still talking to him and said
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: things weren't serious between them. I told her I valued
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: our friendship and then a guy, and like that insinuates.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: Though I value our friendship that I'm not going to
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: pursue it.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's how I would read it if I
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: was on the receiving end.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but then she her Lola has said that it's
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: not serious between them, but even.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: There are a lot. Jeff is probably not that great.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: A man is a man, There's so many, there's so many,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Jeff is not the love of your life. No, he's
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: going to tell you guys right now? Is Lola and Mandy?
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's your song.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: If they're like best friends, fuck Jeff off. Yeah, Jeff
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: sucks one because he continued to pursue both of them
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: after knowing they were friends. So I don't believe that
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: he didn't know that they were friends. We have Instagram,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: You're in a small town. It's very likely that he knew,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: and even if he didn't after the fact, he did know,
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: But I think that if you haven't already, you've got.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: To tell her said multiple times after as well, and
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: just be like, I fucked up. I know.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I said that I value our friendship more than a
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: guy and I do.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: And these are the actions reflecting that. Yeah, and just
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: be like I'm so like, I'm sorry.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: I regret what I did, and I know I said this,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and I know that potentially that's a double standard.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: Or maybe I, you know, have gone back on my.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Word and just be honest about it, but I do
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: because after the brunch, did they like did she say
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: that they said that they weren't going to keep seeing
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: him and then she did go to his house or
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: did they just go like, oh, yeah, I slept with
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: him and she's like, yeah, I slept with him too,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: And then Lola said he was weird, he was.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Weird, but that she just meant it was the end
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: of it. But that was it.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Like there was no like, oh shit, like I won't
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: sleep with him, then you won't sleep with him, Like
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: nothing was agreed. But maybe it's like an unwritten rule
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: of friendship that you would both hopefully.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Unless it's like literally don't have the same type. Yeah,
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: I know that would have been better, That would not be.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Good, but I don't think it would ever come to that.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: But no, Yeah, I think you just have to be
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: honest with You've got to read the band aid off
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: and be like, I fucked deaf. Yeah, because she's asked.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Does this make me a bad friend for doing the
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: same thing?
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: But if you continued to do it and didn't tell
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: her like you've written in, because clearly you have. But
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: the fact that you do have guilt, I think means
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: that your heart is in the right place and you
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: care about your friend.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: We've all been there. We've made a cheeky.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Decision about a boy, and you know what, the reason
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: why you probably.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Like him is because it feels still bad.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is so exciting and I'm naughty girl.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: It's again the forbidden fruit. It's a bit of fruit.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: Everyone go eat a vegetable instead? Yeah, exactly, whatever fucked
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: anyone over broccoli? So true? Somebody has like a broccoli allergy.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I'd like to speak up.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Well, as always, please tell us what happens after.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we love we love check in you know how
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: like the morning show, they'd be like where are they?
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Hell? Yeah, exactly love that, So please give us the
• 32:11
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• 32:14
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• 32:17
  Speaker 2: fifty dollars if voucher forever the bloody hell you.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: Want your inbox?
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll reply to your emails with that, and if
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: you have a diabolical dilemma or confession, please send it
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: to us. We love them and we're going to be
• 32:32
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• 32:35
  Speaker 2: get some ten out of ten advice, might I just say,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: but you also get a little cheeky voucher with it
• 32:41
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• 32:47
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• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much chicks for having us in your ear holes.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: We love to be Love your chickies, Love you Ma
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: stay safe out there, hope. Yeah, the bus intensi