Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 220. Broke Built Me Better with Barry Bradham
Transcript
- 0:00Hello and welcome to Fine Is a Four Letter Word. My guest
- 0:03today is Barry Bradham. Welcome to the show, Barry.
- 0:07Well, thank you, Lori. I appreciate your time and having me on your show.
- 0:11Well, I have a feeling this is gonna be an interesting conversation, so
- 0:15let's just jump right in, shall we? Let's do it. All right, Barry,
- 0:18what were the values and beliefs that you were raised with that
- 0:22contributed to who you've become? Wow, that's a great question.
- 0:26A couple key stories come to mind actually that I talk about once in a
- 0:30while. I love stories. One is integrity,
- 0:33honesty, especially when it comes to sales and
- 0:37doing business. And that happened when I was 8 years old. Actually, I had a
- 0:41friend who came upon a lot of money, I thought at the time, and
- 0:44he was in my room and he liked my toys. And I said, well, how
- 0:48about we exchange? I didn't have any money. He did. And
- 0:51I had a lot of toys and he wanted them. So he ended up with
- 0:55many of my toys and I ended up with his money and That was it.
- 0:58You know, he took them away and I had cash in my pocket, which felt
- 1:01great because I felt empowered and I felt like I can make all these
- 1:05decisions, but you know, I had control. I didn't have to ask my parents for
- 1:08money and, but I didn't spend any of it either. I just remember that feeling
- 1:11felt good. And a couple of weeks later, my parents sat me down
- 1:15and they said, so there's a situation, you're not in trouble, but
- 1:19do you remember this sale that you made with your toys? I said, yes. And
- 1:22they said, well, that was stolen money. And I said, oh, I didn't know that.
- 1:26And they said, do you still have it? I said, yeah, I have all of
- 1:28it. And they said, okay, well, we have to swap things back because he's in
- 1:31a lot of trouble. You're not. And then the parents came into that
- 1:35conversation and they, and they said, wow, you got the best salesperson ever
- 1:39right here. I'll always remember that. And maybe
- 1:42even at that age, I felt something off about him having money. I don't know.
- 1:46But, you know, I remember thinking, oh, well, this, this sucks, you know, having to
- 1:50give the money back. But on the other hand, I'm glad I didn't spend it
- 1:53so that I could to do the right thing and, and all of that. So
- 1:55I learned that even better than the power of having the money, a couple weeks
- 1:59later I learned there's also integrity in what you're selling and, and who you're
- 2:02selling to and kind of knowing a little bit about that person and, and make
- 2:06sure that a salesperson will try to sell everybody their product, but that doesn't mean
- 2:09it's the right fit. Mm-hmm. So anyway, uh, that was one of the first ones
- 2:12for me. Where did you pick up those sales skills? Like, were your parents
- 2:16in sales? How did you, where did you get the— That's a
- 2:20good question. My Stepdad worked from home. I
- 2:24don't know. And you know, I've only been around him for a couple of years
- 2:26at that point. So I don't know how much of that I got from him.
- 2:29And actually he wasn't really working at home at that point. So, so I
- 2:33don't know. I liked the fact that he worked from home though. And that ended
- 2:36up being a big role model for me growing up. My, my real
- 2:40dad's a great person too. One of the stories I tell when I speak is
- 2:43about kind of then later in life, my real dad gave me the Rich Dad
- 2:46Poor Dad book. And so much of that resonated with me. But yeah, I think
- 2:50probably that he had a good work ethic. Both of my parents did, my, both
- 2:53my fathers did. So I'm sure from there, but you know, I was 8, so
- 2:57it's hard to remember too much before that. Right, right, right. Yeah. I just didn't
- 3:01know if you had some recollection of like where you got the idea to
- 3:05sell your toys. 'Cause I don't know a lot of 8-year-olds who are like, yeah,
- 3:08I'll sell my toys and get some money. I used to just pull a table
- 3:11out of the garage and put it on the corner and go to Costco and
- 3:14buy bubblegum packets and sell them and baseball cards and sell 'em
- 3:18by the packet and random toys that I felt like I didn't play with enough.
- 3:21That was pretty common in my life back then. I think where it came from
- 3:24was not having money, you know, growing up, you know, really kind of on the,
- 3:27the lower end of the middle income bracket and not really having
- 3:31too much money. Really thrifty parents. We made it through though.
- 3:34Mm-hmm. I always find it interesting because my dad was
- 3:38pretty entrepreneurial. He always had like a side gig, but I
- 3:42never was the kid who was figuring out how to make extra money,
- 3:46like on the side entrepreneurially. Mm. Like, you know, I was
- 3:50getting— I had like babysitting jobs and I worked at a, a pizza
- 3:53restaurant, and then I worked in a bank as a teller as in when I
- 3:57was in high school. But like that entrepreneurial spirit part of things, I'm
- 4:01always fascinated when it comes out really young. I have to think
- 4:04that that's a big part of it. You know, it's just the feeling that I
- 4:08had when I had cash, because usually we didn't. Mm-hmm. My parents,
- 4:11my mom didn't. And so she was always relying on, you know,
- 4:15other people and she's not with us anymore, so I don't feel too bad talking
- 4:19about it, but I have nothing bad to say, but It was just what it
- 4:21was. And due to that, I saw that and I was like, wow, you know,
- 4:24just save some of your money. Don't spending it all the time on crap, you
- 4:28know, just keep it and keep that power and control for yourself. Otherwise you're just
- 4:31dependent on other people all the time. She didn't like to work. So then there's
- 4:35that, you know, it's like, huh. So I think maybe that maybe on the negative
- 4:38role model side of things might've been a big part of that influence as well.
- 4:42Or maybe it was positive in showing you that it's important
- 4:45to not spend everything you bring in. And to have
- 4:49some in savings. Absolutely. I like the flip.
- 4:55So as you grew up, did you work for other people? Have you just
- 4:59been an entrepreneur the whole time? Yeah. And that actually is another
- 5:03good— pulling memories out of my head. There was a guy from the church
- 5:07when my mom was kind of between her relationships. His name was
- 5:11Dave, just a, a beautiful man, character and father and husband
- 5:15and all of that. And he took me under and he was in real estate.
- 5:18And so he was, you know, always working on properties and he gave me opportunity
- 5:21to work for him. And so a lot of times he'd be like, there's a
- 5:24way for him to gimme money. Looking back at it, I mean, that's what he
- 5:27did. He saw this kid and kind of in need and he bought me a
- 5:30suit for church and cool stuff like that. But, you know, I remember
- 5:34dragging wires underneath, crawling in Fairbanks, Alaska under
- 5:37properties and he'd be up there, you see it, bring it to me, bring it
- 5:40to the hole, you know, cobwebs and spiders all around me.
- 5:44He's like, I'm not going down there. I'll send the kid. Yeah, exactly.
- 5:48Well, I think he had a little bit of a belly. He probably would've got
- 5:50stuck. Right. It was another reason. But he was a great man. He'd take me
- 5:54fishing. So I think that's probably another good role model. And I was pretty young
- 5:58then. Other people in the church would give me opportunities to, you know,
- 6:01babysit their kids and stuff. So, you know, always was— I, I was always doing
- 6:05that from 8, 9. I just always wanted to do that.
- 6:09Mm-hmm. Way better than watching TV, playing video games. And that was the era of
- 6:12Nintendo coming up. Sure. And all of that. But I'd much rather be—
- 6:16and the people that would hire me always were smart and they, you know, they
- 6:19had good things going in their lives and they had good careers and, and I
- 6:22like to be around that. What a gift that all of these people
- 6:26fed your entrepreneurial spirit instead of just
- 6:29like, oh, here's some money or here are some clothes and just
- 6:33giving you different ways of helping. But they, what they were doing was
- 6:37helping you, but also building your character.
- 6:41Yeah, absolutely. And I did, because of, I guess, the lack of
- 6:44opportunities maybe that, that were naturally in my life. I did
- 6:48have a thirst for that, you know, I did draw that out in people and
- 6:51I still do. I still, here we are, you know, I'm with you and, and
- 6:54that's just something that I always have a thirst for information, hearing other
- 6:58people's experiences and their stories. And I'm sure that's something you and I have in
- 7:01common. Did you grow up with any siblings? I had a half sister
- 7:05when I was 6. Same mom, different dads. And that was huge.
- 7:09Having to kind of be there for her when we had instability in the household.
- 7:13Mm-hmm. And, you know, helping her with, you know, making sure she got up and
- 7:16went to school and she ate before she went to school and her hair was
- 7:18kind of done and— Yeah. You know, looked presentable and that kind of thing. Yeah.
- 7:22But yeah, from like 2 on, they really, you know, needed me to help out
- 7:25in a lot of ways when it came to her. And that was great. Now
- 7:28she lives in Florida. Did she acquire the same entrepreneurial
- 7:32spirit that you did? Did she follow in your footsteps? Because like a lot of
- 7:35times younger siblings look up to the older sibling and they want to do do
- 7:38the same things? You know, I think she does. Yeah. I think in her own
- 7:42way she has a lot of that. She's went on the path of motherhood and
- 7:45she's one of the— probably the best mother I know. So, you know, she
- 7:49definitely learned something there on her own because we didn't have that as a role
- 7:52model. Mm-hmm. So as you grew into an adult, what path
- 7:56did you take? Did you go into real estate? Did you work for other
- 7:59people? Yeah. In college I was very involved with
- 8:03the business club. And really started getting it. We had to start a,
- 8:07a business as part of a presentation that we had to give in an
- 8:10organization called SIFE, Students in Free Enterprise. Okay. And
- 8:14so being the president of that and kind of being one of the two people
- 8:17that decided to bring that to our campus at Eastern Oregon University
- 8:21is we had to formulate a group of people to start the business and to,
- 8:24and what that business was gonna be. And yeah, so that led me into
- 8:29kind of probably a lot of the path where I'm at now and exploring that.
- 8:32And then, you know, after college I got into banking. And so I started,
- 8:36you know, managing banks and had multiple banks and traveled all around the
- 8:39Northwest doing that. Got a lot of great sales skills in
- 8:43that. And, you know, a lot of different extracurricular type things in high school and
- 8:46in college, you know, really are things that I was drawn to doing. I love
- 8:50building, building businesses, building teams, building things. And I think that's
- 8:54kind of what led me through college, cuz I don't know that I had a
- 8:57clear path in that. Mm-hmm. And then after college I got into banking and I
- 9:00started buying real estate. And eventually after a few of those properties,
- 9:04I thought, I think I'm gonna pursue that. And I'd loved, you know, building and
- 9:08developing and just building duplexes. And that was the best thing I ever did.
- 9:11It took me 15 to 20 properties to get to that conclusion,
- 9:15but that's where, you know, what I was doing at the end was the best
- 9:18thing that I possibly could have done. And that's buying land, building duplexes.
- 9:22Something you just said is kind of a key point, I think, in this
- 9:25conversation at this point is that it took you, what,
- 9:2915 to 20 properties? Mm-hmm. Like you weren't good
- 9:33at it the first thing you started. No, I suck. But you kept, kept
- 9:37doing it. Yeah. And you got better and you found your rhythm. Yeah. And you
- 9:40found like what worked and what didn't work. Yeah. And I think
- 9:44that's a key point in that because people think, and I've been
- 9:48guilty of it myself, like I just wanna be good as soon as I start.
- 9:52Mm-hmm. And so what kept you going? Was it your interest in it? Was it
- 9:55like, I have to master this 'cause I just feel compelled to get this right.
- 10:00Funny thing, the, the very first property I bought, you know, I was trying to
- 10:03remodel it and fix it up. And now looking back, I'm like, oh my God.
- 10:06Like I had no taste of what colors should be and
- 10:10textures on walls and trim. And I'm just hacking away,
- 10:14just hacking away completely on my own, managing banks by
- 10:18day, just me and my dog hacking away. And I was single at the time,
- 10:21so I had a lot of free time, trained my dog and, and remodeled this
- 10:24house. But thankfully I was in an era of low interest rates. And
- 10:28a huge real estate boom that was beginning in
- 10:322002. That winter is when I was doing that. And so I ended up
- 10:35trying to rent that as office space and that kind of worked, kind of didn't.
- 10:39And then I sold that house, you know, and with that money that I sold
- 10:42that house, I kind of parlayed that into several more properties rather than,
- 10:46mm-hmm, woo-hoo, I'm gonna go, you know, spend a bunch of money. I leveraged that
- 10:50into more real estate and then I just, the very next one, you know, my
- 10:53eyes are open, so I'm going on tour, you know, the, the real estate tours
- 10:57and seeing model homes. And then that opened my eyes. To, oh,
- 11:00okay, well, yeah, these houses are so much more beautiful. I need to do it.
- 11:04I need to pay attention to these fixtures and finishes.
- 11:08Exactly. And I was also doing it on a shoestring, you know, sure.
- 11:12The first one too. So, so there was a lot of kind of all those
- 11:15things. Yeah. Okay. Well, the show is called Fine Is a Four
- 11:19Letter Word, and at some point your life was
- 11:22fine, but not fine. Tell us how you got there.
- 11:26Well, I mean, that, that was one of the big ones, you know, Lori.
- 11:29Yeah. And I realized I actually have two very clear seasons in my life
- 11:33where I was definitely not fine, even though from the outside
- 11:37I probably looked completely fine. Sure. And each one taught me a different
- 11:40lesson that shaped who I am as an entrepreneur today. Oh, good. I want to
- 11:44hear both lessons. So the first one,
- 11:48of course, is kind of what we were just talking about, and that's the journey
- 11:52that led me to California. On paper, things looked really good. I was
- 11:55active, making moves, building, owning assets.
- 11:59If you look from the outside, you'd probably say, well, he's doing great. But
- 12:02internally, I was under a ton of pressure. And what I didn't realize at the
- 12:05time was that I was making big financial and life decisions completely
- 12:09alone. I didn't have strong advisors. I didn't have people around me who had
- 12:13already been through what I was dealing with. Mm-hmm. Finance, tax,
- 12:17strategy, long-term planning. You know, all those things. Mm-hmm. And I wasn't
- 12:20failing because I wasn't capable. I was struggling because I
- 12:24didn't have enough perspective. And that's a dangerous place to be in as an
- 12:28entrepreneur. Mm-hmm. So hard work doesn't protect you. The right
- 12:32counsel does. Would you have been open to that counsel if it had
- 12:35been available at that time? Because a lot of times entrepreneurs are like, nah, I
- 12:39got it. I'm smarter than you. Yeah. I've always had that thirst
- 12:43for give me information, you know, at that point in time,
- 12:47and I look back and I realize this now, that all entrepreneurs were
- 12:50going through something major because they were— all of us were in real estate. And
- 12:54I had two friends that killed themselves. One guy hung himself from the rafters of
- 12:58a commercial building in Bend, Oregon that he was building. Hmm. And everybody
- 13:02was running for cover. But the people that weren't running for cover, the
- 13:05stable, the high-level CPAs, accountants, attorneys,
- 13:09those types of people weren't in my circle. And I didn't know how to
- 13:13get connected with them quick enough. And so kind of
- 13:16escaped from the situation and I, I guess ran, you know, I was kind of
- 13:20like a country music song backwards. I lost my houses, I lost my business, I
- 13:23lost my fiancée, I lost my dog, I lost my house that I lived in.
- 13:27And it was a 14-month period and I recognized it probably
- 13:30before most of the world did. I remember seeing the graphs and just looking up
- 13:34and going, looking at my fiancée, I said, ah, I'm in trouble. This isn't
- 13:38going well. I can't sell these homes that I've had on the market
- 13:42and cash is dwindling. And a couple of big homes that I was building
- 13:46at first, and this is Oregon, so the real estate market's different there. And this
- 13:49is also 17 years ago, but I was trying to sell some of these homes
- 13:53for $469,000, which would've been a great per foot, square
- 13:57footage price back then. And I had a lot of interest, but that was when
- 14:00the market really started to, to collapse. So I started dropping the price to
- 14:04$369,000 to $299,000. To 69, didn't matter.
- 14:07And then now the houses were done. They needed to be sold. Meanwhile,
- 14:11I'm building the duplexes and my whole plan was those duplexes were going to be
- 14:15paid off free and clear. And the house I lived in paid off free
- 14:19and clear, keep a vacation home by my family in Washington on the golf
- 14:22course. And that was going to be my life. And that would've been probably a
- 14:26great life, but I would've been married to the wrong person. I would've never came
- 14:29to California. I wouldn't be all over China like I have been now and doing
- 14:32all the things now. Now I have a whole different perspective and, and it
- 14:36took a while. That was a lot of pain that I went through. Not sure
- 14:39if I got off track or if I answered your question clearly. No, I think
- 14:42again, the points that you brought up are that even when things
- 14:46are going terribly, you don't know what that's
- 14:50leading you to. Yeah. And so people have heard me say this
- 14:53before, but it's like, can you find the gratitude within the situation?
- 14:58Even when it looks terrible, it's not perhaps your preferred
- 15:01circumstances, Yeah. But can you find a shred of gratitude in
- 15:04it? And if not at that moment, obviously now looking back
- 15:08you can find it. Yeah. And so if you can find it now, you probably
- 15:12could have found it then, but you just needed to shift perspective. Yeah. But
- 15:16it sounds like you saw the rock coming down the hill,
- 15:19but you couldn't get ahead of it. Absolutely. Did— yeah. And
- 15:23the other thing was, is immediately I bought a franchise trying to
- 15:27get a business going quick enough to cover me. And it did. It, it was
- 15:30actually pretty successful right off the gate. The problem is it was a
- 15:34beautified cement business, which is acrylic cement, and you have
- 15:38to pour it on the ground. Well, in Bend, Oregon, it drops below 42 degrees
- 15:41and you can't do that business outside when it's below 42 degrees. So
- 15:45that actually carried me through 2006. And then I went on an
- 15:49exploratory mission down to California to be like, well, maybe I can start this company
- 15:53down there. Mm-hmm. Doing, you know, the same marketing strategy and tactics I
- 15:57did to make that successful. And that took a long time. That
- 16:00took a long time to do. There's a lot of distractions also with
- 16:04what I felt like I wanted to do versus am I even
- 16:08now in the place to do that? You know, maybe that's not really who I
- 16:11am and what I need to be doing. And, you know, the snow was coming
- 16:14into Oregon and I was like, I'm just going to drive, drive south and I'm
- 16:18just going to go down for a sabbatical, clear my head and enjoy the sun
- 16:22and take a week, two weeks, three weeks, maybe the whole month. I don't know.
- 16:25But I ended up down there renting a room and starting over. What
- 16:29were the tools or techniques or strategies that you used? You said you took
- 16:32a sabbatical, but were you just sitting on the beach for
- 16:36a month or were you like reading books
- 16:40or going to counseling or practicing
- 16:43meditation? What were you doing that helped you clear your mind and get
- 16:47clarity on what to do next? Well, I talked to my stepmom a
- 16:51lot. I talked to my sisters a lot. And my dad and yeah,
- 16:55just working through those drives, walking on the beach, thinking about talking
- 16:59out loud, you know, and that many entrepreneurs do that. We need people who we
- 17:02can talk to and hear ourselves think. We're not necessarily going to get answers
- 17:06or need answers. We're just needing to kind of work it out. Yeah. It's the
- 17:10way you process. Yeah. And then I think I used a lot of them and
- 17:13I always have as therapists in my life and they know that they're not dumb,
- 17:17you know? So, so they try to make time. They're like, oh, Barry's calling. He
- 17:20probably needs just to talk, work something out. He's going through
- 17:24something, developing something or going through something. But yeah, so I, I ended up
- 17:28renting a room and realized that what I liked best was the
- 17:31marketing in these businesses. I mean, I love real estate. I love designing that,
- 17:35but there was no going back to that yet. You know, it was still a
- 17:38bad economy where banks were still failing. I mean, everybody was still—
- 17:42and I had bad credit at that point too, and, and not a lot of
- 17:45cash or capital. And I was, really
- 17:48traumatized by real estate. Mm-hmm. So it took me some time
- 17:52to, you know, do something else. So I explored marketing and taught myself graphic
- 17:55design and I was curious, you know, I loved being an artist, so I was
- 17:59curious about how, you know, how do they get that to a computer? So that
- 18:02was all new to me. Because I had done banking and all this, you know,
- 18:05it got me away from probably a, a direction I could have went. Mm-hmm. So
- 18:08I taught myself graphic design. I bought all the Adobe, you know, Master Suite
- 18:12CDs, the CD series, and, and did all of that. So no, I wasn't just
- 18:16chilling on the beach. I was teaching myself graphic design. In
- 18:19Photoshop and Illustrator and Dreamweaver and websites and, and knowing
- 18:23that that's the future and knowing that, you know, I kind of was on a
- 18:26slow path on that because the— now the dot-com bubble burst and
- 18:30that was behind us and I didn't really get into it during all those years.
- 18:33So I wanted to get back into that, not get back into it, but I
- 18:36wanted to go into that direction of technology and, and the internet. Well, maybe it's
- 18:40just as well that you weren't in part of the boom because then you would've
- 18:44been potentially part of the bust, and which you were in the ri— you know.
- 18:48Yeah. Either, either way it was gonna catch up to you. Yeah. Right.
- 18:53Yeah. But you, you had told me when we talked in the pre-show
- 18:57conversation that at some point you were sleeping in your
- 19:00office. Yeah. I had my Mercedes
- 19:04luckily paid off and was able to, you know, as
- 19:08I was really putting all my cards into what I was trying to do, my
- 19:11development and the new company. You know, I still like helping businesses and I
- 19:15still, in my conversations I had with business owners, knew
- 19:19that they needed something. They were drawn to me as I was drawn to
- 19:23them. And so how do I do that? So I was doing, you know, free
- 19:25graphic design services. If you buy business cards and flyers, but at that time
- 19:29these online print stores were coming up selling business cards for $30 for a
- 19:33box. And they're like, well, why are yours $100? I'm like, cause I'm giving you
- 19:37free graphic design. They're like, well then the graphic design isn't free. I'm like, yeah,
- 19:40but your business card's front and back and taking me 2 days to design it.
- 19:44And so I realized that that was kind of maybe not the right business model.
- 19:48Right. There were some successes and some failures, and to kind of stay
- 19:52afloat, I ended up selling my car and I really went all in with
- 19:56a, an office. 'Cause I had peaks of good times and then peaks of
- 19:59bad times. You know, when the peaks of bad times, you're out selling, marketing yourself,
- 20:03getting more clients, and then you're busy handling that client work. And then when you're
- 20:07done with that client work, well then now you don't have the next client. So
- 20:09that's a lot of, you know, solopreneurs get into that kind of
- 20:13rollercoaster ride. And then that's where I found myself. And so I gave up my
- 20:17apartment and I gave up my car and just, yeah, I
- 20:21had to sleep on the floor of my office, downtown Manhattan Beach for,
- 20:24I don't know, a few weeks. A few weeks. So I got some
- 20:28customers and made some relationships and kind of crawled out of that.
- 20:32In any of those experiences that you've had where you
- 20:36saw success and then you saw the other side of
- 20:39it where it wasn't so much successful. What did you
- 20:43learn from those experiences? Humility.
- 20:47Okay. Really? What did I learn from it? Well, first of all,
- 20:51yeah, humility. And, and also back to the lesson at 8, keep some
- 20:55money. You have to— you can't get to that position. Although it was a,
- 20:58a very difficult one to control, you know, had, had I walked away from real
- 21:02estate and had the right advisors, they would've said, quit paying everything.
- 21:06We're gonna put you through a BK. We can put money here, put money there.
- 21:10You can save these properties. And I did, because I didn't have that and
- 21:13I didn't know that was even a possibility. Mm-hmm. Instead, I just paid
- 21:17until I couldn't because my integrity's there and I felt like that was what I
- 21:20needed to do. Yeah. Which made me feel good at the time, but ultimately
- 21:24I ended up not being able to pay anyway. So what would've been the difference?
- 21:27Well, I can see where coming from not having the knowledge that—
- 21:31the knowledge that you had, the belief that you had was I,
- 21:35in order to maintain my integrity, I need to pay off these bills. That makes
- 21:38sense. Yeah. So it's easy to see why you would go that direction.
- 21:42Yeah. Yeah. Did anybody else know that you were going through this? I think
- 21:46I did a pretty good job covering it up, you know, and just being
- 21:49positive. You know, I don't wanna drag anybody down and I wanna, I'm, I
- 21:53know I'm gonna get through it somehow, but the deeper you get
- 21:57into it, then you get sick cuz you're stressed. Mm-hmm. And then I
- 22:00remember there was a point. Before everything turned around and I, and I had
- 22:04to take a bus and I was sick and it was raining and it was
- 22:07cold and which rarely happens in Manhattan Beach and it was in April
- 22:11and I called my sister Jennifer and I said, remember that movie Pursuit
- 22:14of Happiness? She's like, yeah. I said, I feel like that
- 22:18right now. Like, like that's it. This is me on my pursuit of
- 22:22happiness and just everything has been going wrong, but I'm going into this meeting
- 22:26right now and I've gotta nail it.. And,
- 22:29and that's, you know, kind of what happened. And you did? Yeah. It was just
- 22:33like the movie, except you weren't changing a baby's diaper in the— Yeah.
- 22:36Car garage, right? Wasn't that— No. He was like somewhere like that. Thank goodness. Yeah.
- 22:40Yeah. He had his little boy. Mm-hmm. Okay. What advice would
- 22:44you give somebody who's listening if they were going through something
- 22:48similar? Never give up on yourself. Maybe lower your
- 22:51hand, expose your hand a little bit more. But know what your
- 22:55skills are. So you can't let somebody take advantage of you, but you have to
- 22:59know what your skills are and like how you can really help. And it's okay
- 23:03to be a little bit vulnerable, you know, let them know, hey, I, I really
- 23:06am looking for something. I need something. I know I can help you, you
- 23:09know, something along those lines. Cause I really just kept the
- 23:13cold front up and the wall up. Like everything was great right up until
- 23:17the end. That's a tendency that I have. And you know, that fake it
- 23:21till you make it, I carry that maybe a little too far. Back then. And
- 23:24so, and, and now it's like, hey, I'd really like to do business with you
- 23:27and this is what I bring to the table and, and this is how I
- 23:29can help you. And I wanna know more about you and, you know, how to
- 23:32relieve that stress in your life and help you with automation and help you with
- 23:36a community of people to really put that around you. And that's why I
- 23:39do comewinwithme.com is to— so people can connect with other
- 23:43entrepreneurs. That community piece, I was on as a guest on a
- 23:47podcast last night, and also I recently watched this movie,
- 23:51this film called Join or Die, and it's about the importance
- 23:55of joining clubs and being around other people. That
- 23:59this idea that we are built to do things
- 24:02alone is so misdirected or misguided
- 24:06or misunderstood. Like, especially Americans, right? We're all
- 24:10about individuality and— right— I can do it. And as humans, we're
- 24:13not wired that way. I think a lot of that is taught in school. Your
- 24:17tests are just you. Your— yes, you know, your work is just you.
- 24:20The assignment's just you. The better ones, in my opinion, and I think there are
- 24:24a lot like that now. I've been out of school for a long time, but
- 24:27it's the groupthink type things. Okay, well, build your team. You know,
- 24:31you don't have to take this test all by yourself. You can utilize everybody. Yeah,
- 24:34we have to build our aptitude and I understand that, but yeah, at some point
- 24:37it needs to transition into, you know, leveraging other
- 24:41people. Right. That's a really interesting point. I haven't been in school in a long
- 24:45time either, but the idea of teaching kids how to
- 24:48build teams and build and collaborate.
- 24:52Yeah. Which, especially in this age of, obviously during pandemic,
- 24:56kids weren't in school, so there wasn't that face-to-face interactions.
- 25:00But yeah, learning how to have
- 25:02those interactive skills, which I think is
- 25:06missing. Band members are really good at it. Yeah. They're like, uh,
- 25:10I wanna start a band. Well, I need to have a drummer. I need a
- 25:13lead singer, guitar, you know, all those things. So band members are always good at
- 25:16that. And, and I'll talk about that sometimes as well. You know, when building a
- 25:19team as an entrepreneur, you have to think, do I really want to be a
- 25:22solo entrepreneur or do I need to build my band that has all the strengths
- 25:26around me? Yeah. You know, as I go through this and, you know, all businesses
- 25:30need 3 people. You, you have to have the visionary, you have to have the
- 25:34operations person, and you have to have the rainmaker. Those 3 things are
- 25:37critical. So when you build your band or your team, you gotta be looking for,
- 25:41you know, and usually the entrepreneur is the visionary in the beginning. A lot of
- 25:45times they have to do all 3 of those. Mm-hmm. To scale, to get out
- 25:47of that. You have to have that team. That's such a great
- 25:51analogy of that band thing. And then as you were saying that, I was thinking
- 25:54of like jazz specifically. They like, they're
- 25:57very improvisational. Yeah. That's what it's like starting up a business.
- 26:01It's all improv. Yeah, absolutely. And you look at the,
- 26:05the better ones, you know, that, that I admire and that I follow, like Jeff
- 26:08Bezos and Steve Jobs and, you know, they know that somehow they get that
- 26:12early on. And that's taken me longer to get also. You know, it's, it's like
- 26:16you really need to look for people that are gonna help you in whatever
- 26:19that vision is that you have and, and find people that are passionate about it
- 26:23and learn how to speak to them, you know, to motivate them, inspire them, and
- 26:26to believe in, in what that vision is. And then also to be incented
- 26:30appropriately so they wanna be part of it and they see themselves long-term. Right,
- 26:33right. Getting buy-in to the vision, and that's part of building
- 26:37corporate culture. Yeah. I talk about that all the time about getting
- 26:41people to want to be part of the mission. And
- 26:44that doesn't come from necessarily being like, I'm the leader,
- 26:48you follow me and do what I say because I'm the leader. It comes
- 26:52from being somebody that people want to follow or want to
- 26:55support. Yeah. That's huge. Yeah,
- 26:58absolutely. Barry, what is the song that you listen to when you
- 27:02need an extra boost of energy? Maybe when you are like in one of
- 27:06those points where you're like, I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this
- 27:08right now. Huh. You know, I always have music on in
- 27:12the background and I listen to channels that pretty much all
- 27:16those songs are that way for me. Uh-huh. Because they're nostalgic
- 27:19about great times in my life around certain people or whatever. So
- 27:23I'm thinking of something like extraordinary that like really makes me wanna
- 27:27dance and feel good. But Everywhere came to mind with Fleetwood Mac. I
- 27:30just, I think it's called Everywhere, but I just, when that song comes on, I
- 27:33don't know what it is. I just makes me really happy and, and makes me
- 27:36feel good. Okay. And there's a lot of songs like that. But Blurred Lines by
- 27:39Robin Thicke, I just, I just love that. It's kind of bluesy, kind
- 27:42of jazzy. Is Robin Thicke? Yeah, Robin Thicke, the son
- 27:46of— I think his name was Alan Thicke. He was on one of the
- 27:50'80s sitcom shows. Yes, I know who you're talking about. Anyway,
- 27:53his son's Robin Thicke, and he's, you know, he's, he's a little edgy when it
- 27:57comes to some of his performances and things like that. But I, but I do
- 28:00like that song. Yes, there has been some controversy around that song. Disgoming, what is
- 28:04it? Right. But you can't sit still when you hear it. I heard it
- 28:08the— it came on my playlist. Like, I just have a random station on whatever
- 28:11when I'm at the gym, and that came on actually recently, and you, you
- 28:15just can't sit still to that. Right. And that's a newer one because most of
- 28:18the songs are '70s, '80s classics, you know, that I listen to. And that one's,
- 28:22uh, it's not newer anymore. It's probably one of the old— yeah. When my life
- 28:26got good again, maybe 15, 14 years ago, I think is
- 28:29kind of when it came out. So that was a good time of my life
- 28:32when I turned things around for myself and money was flowing,
- 28:36customers were happy, and we were building and my business was, you know, blowing up
- 28:39and I was seeing $100,000 months, which in real estate I didn't really ever dream
- 28:43of cuz that's not what I was going towards. Mm-hmm. So that was
- 28:46a really the, the first good time of my life in California. I
- 28:50mean, I had great time in California the, the whole time, even when I
- 28:54was going through it, except for that one time when I was on the office
- 28:57floor. Yeah. Well, that was, that was a good time and that might be part
- 29:00of it, you know, the friends that I had around me and our lifestyle and
- 29:04I was working really hard then too. I was gonna say, so
- 29:07that song reminds you, like, it brings back those
- 29:11memories of that great time when you are finally— like, songs do that.
- 29:15Music is— has that great power to do that. Yeah. Incredible.
- 29:19Yeah. If someone wants to continue the conversation with you, where's the
- 29:22best place for them to reach you? Appreciate you asking that. I've set
- 29:26up a comewinwithme.com page where you just put in
- 29:30your information. You'll see a little bit about what I do now and get some
- 29:33free tools on how to connect and how to connect in my
- 29:37community if you'd like to. To as well, and you'll get exposure and, and I'll
- 29:40get to know who you are more. If you've got a great story that you
- 29:43think I'd like to listen to or just wanna be connected with me, I'd love
- 29:46it. ComeWinWithMe.com. Follow me on Instagram, Barry
- 29:49Branham Entrepreneur, or connect with me on LinkedIn. That sounds great. I will
- 29:53put links to all of that in the show notes. Barry, thank you so much
- 29:56for joining me today on Fine Is a Four-Letter Word. Very
- 30:00good, Lori. It was such a pleasure and you triggered a lot of deep memories
- 30:04that I've had. So, and it's a very pleasant way. Cool.
- 30:07All right.