Latest / Modern Sacred: Women's Work / Why We Hide — Processing the Fear of Criticism as a Highly Sensitive Person
Transcript
- Abby: Hi, welcome back everybody to another episode of ⁓ We're so glad you're here. ⁓ Chelsea and I are kicking ourselves a little for not recording the last minutes or whatever ⁓ of our talk, which we need to do because ⁓ we just had such great conversation. ⁓ Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Modern Sacred Podcast. Today I get to nerd out about a system in your body that you don't know that you have, most likely. ⁓ as a registered nurse and having worked with many nurses and doctors and surgeons and having met none of them who know about this system in your is wild. ⁓ 'Cause that's that's the podcast basically. It's just our conversations. It's us talking. Okay, well let's recap it. Yeah, let's recap it. Abby: is us talking. So we w we wanted to hit record now and recap what we just talked about. So Chelsea and I got on to record the podcast and first just had a talk about really vulnerability and ⁓ and being seen, I feel like. Being seen online receiving criticism, receiving critique and like Chelsea Henderson: And it's something I'm very passionate about. So today I'm excited to introduce you to a little bit more of your body that you didn't know existed, that controls everything from digestion to nerve impulses, muscle coordination and immunity, skin healing, wound healing, your eyes, your sight. Every cell in your body has a receptor for this system. Yes. For better and worse. Abby: How the fear of that or even just the nervous system response to it can keep us small in a way or hidden, at least speaking personally, of how many times in my life I have not posted a video online or written a blog about something really vulnerable because I'm afraid of what people will say or think. And that that has kept me from being who I really am and sharing my gifts and Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely, yes. And yet it is not taught. And this system has been around ⁓ In fact, every animal ⁓ other than insects ⁓ has this system in their ⁓ And we've known about since ⁓ the the 50s. ⁓ I'm not sure the exact timeline, but we've known it for a long and yet you've never heard of it. ⁓ And this system is ⁓ Absolutely. Abby: Yeah, so Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. And also how like the internet and that level of larger connectivity has really exacerbated kind of our worst fears around that, right? If you went into a room of twenty classmates and shared a vulnerable story, that could get gnarly for sure. If there was a particularly mean spirited or really I think when we get to the the root of it ⁓ Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: The endocannabinoid system. The endocannabinoid system, which you'll learn about in this episode as Chelsea and I talk about it, is a system in your body discovered by and researching cannabis. ⁓ the plant, has been used as a medicine since far back as we have found it along the Silk Road. ⁓ And a harmed person in the space who was volatile enough to to say something mean, who was true. I mean, there's all the layers to it, right? But you know, it was a lot different than if you put it out there, it's different. It's like we talked about this, it's like being in a car. When I'm driving in a car and another car does something that I don't like, I feel offended by or whatever stupid thing that I choose to view it that way. ⁓ Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: In the United States physicians. carried it in their medicine bag and used it to treat many ailments. ⁓ And of course, there are reasons that you know about this system, and many of them are political ⁓ and ⁓ rooted in racism ⁓ and ⁓ supremacy and ⁓ the which all about here. So as part of dismantling the patriarchy in own body, I'm gonna teach you about. It's easy for me to forget that that's a human. I talk about this a lot. I'm just like, hey, you clunk of metal, like it looks like a robot. Yes. Fuck you, robot. Yeah. She has a grandchild in the car, right? Holy shit. Can I tell you? Oof. You don't know. And being behind Abby: Yeah. It looks like a robot. I liked when you said that. You're like, hey f fuck you, robot. And you're like, by the way, that's her name's Nancy and she's seventy eight years old and she has macular degeneration. Whatever. Like she's doing her best or she's stressed. Like, we don't know. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Your endocannabinoid system. I'm gonna teach you about how it works and how you don't have to use cannabis in order to get the benefits from the system. So enjoy this interview style episode ⁓ between me Chelsea. And if you have any thoughts, feel free to put them wherever you're listening to this. ⁓ Pop them the comments or come on over to modernsacred.com and join our membership and we can talk about it in person at the next women's circle. ⁓ Okay? A screen and a keyboard, I think it just takes it takes away the human I'm we are not the first people to talk about this, right? This is a very, very well understood by many who I think are trying to bring humanity into a technological space. It's really hard. You talked about with Nurse Abbey, you know, trying to offer people screen reduction work via social media because you have to go to where they are, right? But then also there's a little hypocrisy there. So it's that like. Abby: For sure. Yeah. ⁓ my god, yes. Chelsea Henderson: Enjoy. you know, if you were in a room with people, you could speak to that. That's why we like voice notes better than texts, right? Because we could say, ⁓ by the way, I recognize there's a little hypocrisy in this. And also to get to the ideal client, I have to go to where they are. If I want a junkie, I go to you know, the streets or what that's so, so generic and actually probably offensive and I'm sorry I said that, but you know, there's the the like you go to where they are. Abby: I know. ⁓ Yeah. But I mean when it comes to social media addiction, because ⁓ just to share on that story, my screen my Instagram handle was screen free queen, and I was posting clips and videos and carousels about how to get off of Instagram on Instagram. Like I'm using Instagram to talk about getting off of Instagram, and my name is Screen Free Queen, and I'm quite obviously on a screen. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Abby: making these things, putting these things out. And the the d cognitive dissonance within my own self was so loud that I was like, obviously people are going to point this out. They're going to say, you hypocrite, you are telling people to get off social media, but you're using social media to do it and you're part of the problem and you're people called me predatory. And ⁓ like you open yourself up to it, which is what we were kind of talking about of like you whenever you Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ my god. Yeah. Abby: Put yourself out there, whether it's on Instagram, Substack, a blog, ⁓ an open mic night, like whenever you put yourself out there, you you put yourself out there to receive criticism and critique. And online, like you said, it's even worse because people it's kind of anonymous and people can be mean and it's addictive. Yeah. I have an opinion. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. And it's addictive, right? They're getting that rush of, ooh, I stood up for myself. I stood up for people. It I get it. I get it. I mean, I have I I was reflecting on this to you just now, but like I have found that over the course of my adult life, I have been at times extremely judgmental and aggressive. And I I don't feel aligned with that in my true nature. It feels like a learned behavior and a a ⁓ Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Defense against a world that can that can be pretty harsh and can also be perceived as pretty harsh. So potentially something in my line of of of life so far, this is obviously you know, more than just potential, it's definitely true. ⁓ things happened and I started to respond a certain way. So then I perceived a lot of things as negative, as threats, right? Like My husband, he might even, you know, this might be like he's a little on the spectrum, whatever it is, I think it's a blessing. That kind of stuff does not impact him. To me, it's like right through the armor, pierced to the center, everything exposed, my pants have been pulled down, everyone's laughing, it's hurtful. And so my response, hypocritically, is to be as aggressive and mean as possible. Let me find your bone and let me get something in there and twist. And Abby: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: And it's satisfying, it's addicting, and it it feels protective. And when we're doing it without having to look each other in the eye, i I mean, forget about it. That's where my road rage again was so easy for me. In my twenties, I thought I was such a badass bitch with my latte and my cigarette, and I was like, fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you. And then one day I flipped off an old man and was like, ⁓ my God, like Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I came eye to eye with him and he was like a hundred years old, which first of all he should not have been driving because he was really making some errors. But also, who the fuck am I? This man has been on the planet four times as long as I have, probably. That might be a little over the top, but maybe three times as long. Why should I I would never treat an an a person that way in public just to flip them off? Like it felt the dissonance that it like you said, it's just like crazy how easy it is. And then you have to look it in the eye. Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: And the humility and the the humbling was deep and it started to change my opinion. And now I have a little six year old who sits in the back and you know, if I start talking shit, he's like, Mom, you don't know what kind of day they're having. You don't know. Like And I'm like, Yeah, exactly. Exactly. ⁓ wait, look, it is my sister. No. It's yeah. Abby: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mom, that you that you don't know what kind of day they're having. What if that was your sister? You're like, you're like, dang, you're right. Well, and then we talked about like the gut reaction for both of us is sometimes like we don't want to do Instagram. We don't want to do social media. This is why we don't want to do it. This is not the energy we want to be around. We don't want to wake up in the morning and read mean comments about work that is very Chelsea Henderson: Right, run away. Yeah. Yeah. No. Abby: Deep and close to our hearts. Chelsea Henderson: We don't want to wake up in the morning and look at our phones at all, right? Like Abby: No. And if we do look on our phones to see someone saying something rude about something a a conversation that was very vulnerable and wonderful with a friend, it just makes you wanna it makes me run a wan run away from that and be like, This is why I don't do social media. So then we talked about like, do we hire a fourteen year old to just like post our clips for us? And we don't do that because maybe, you know, they there needs to be a little level of separation when it comes to that or Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Right. Abby: But it was interesting how like the initial reaction for both of us is like, let's not do this. And that that shit has kept me in many ways stuck and small. It has kept me from putting my art out there, putting my creative process out there. I mean, I can't imagine being okay, you and I both watch Only Murders in the Building. The Merrill Streep character. Chelsea Henderson: Fuck that. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. I love it so much. Please. She's a goddess. Abby: How much rejection she went through as an actress? All those years of not getting the part, of interviewing and not getting the part, I cannot imagine like all the actors out there who go and interview and pretend play this role and they cry and they they're trying to like and then they they say, Thank you, we've seen enough. And you're like, Okay. It's vulnerable and like how many people. Chelsea Henderson: Soon. ⁓ no way. Yeah. Thanks. I just showed you my soul. I guess. But that also was something we talked about, right? We talked about where is the point where we're building capacity, right? Because I think there's also w we both identify as sensitive people and, you know, hormonal people. ⁓ you know, very like it's just that Abby: You you just have to not quit, you know, and it's yeah. Yeah. True. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: The ride for us is very kind of roller coaster. I feel like we have that in common and we're sensitive to it all, right? Like you we were talking about how in these moments of high stress, like you've been in the process of moving, you know, things can start to feel like threats that are just everyday interactions. Someone asking you for something, someone inviting you to something, you know, your husband asking you what you what you want to have for dinner. Why is that the most triggering question? My husband asks me that almost every night, and I'm like, Abby: Yeah, true. I'm Michael. Go ahead and take my blood from me. Yeah, go ahead and just take the life force right out of me with that question. I am depleted. I have been going all day. And now you're calling me saying, What are your thinks thoughts for dinner? I'm like, what about your thought? I and I was like, I'm not gonna eat dinner. I'm not I'm just not gonna eat dinner because I don't wanna think about what to have for dinner. I feel like you're trying to kill me right now. It's like, ⁓ yeah, on another day. Chelsea Henderson: Jesus Christ, a hundred percent. Just kill me. Just kill me. And Kill myself Yeah, no. I I'm abstaining. I'm abstaining. Yeah. Abby: When I'm feeling refreshed and good, I would just go, Ooh, good question. What should we have? And it's just like Where we're at when we receive things. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and like, okay, there are moments like that where I'm like, I I just have to be honest, that's really how I feel. And how can I not put that on others, right? Even in this space. Like, how can we dissect this and not overindulge in the kind of like, ⁓ it's so hard, right? Like everybody is experiencing some version of that. And I think that that's one of the things that I love that we talk about and kind of create curiosity around, maybe is a way to say it of just like, you know, how are How can we build capacity, right? Okay, we don't run away from Instagram or we don't just tell our husbands to fuck off forever and never ask us a question again because in reality they're they're doing something extremely normal, completely reasonable, and probably on many levels kind, right? Like and and they and we could just easily be like, I'm in no place to handle that. And I would love it if you figure something out. I have been with my husband for Abby: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: 18 17 and a half years and that's what I do now. But it took 16 and a half years to get there, right? Like it was not an easy process. I used to look at him as if he had just slapped my face when he would ask me questions like that if I was in a elevated state or a heightened state or whatever. And it was like the and for him, you gotta what he must think I'm a complete psychopath. Like I'm asking you the most benign question in the world, and in reality, I'm making you an offering. Abby: ⁓ my god. Totally. Chelsea Henderson: But it's like I just can't even with it. And so I think that's where I I always wanna not challenge myself because I don't feel good with that word, but just expand myself a little bit to be like, okay, so what are all the factors going on here? Right. And like it's okay to get your feelings hurt. It's okay for people not to agree with you. We l we're we're finding ourselves alive in this time where Abby: Mm mm. Mm. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: You can't help but be aware of the hypersensitivity and the massive divide between folks where it's just like, if you think that, you're out of my life and I hate you. And it's like, gosh, that's so heavy. So then how can I practice not being that way? And also recognize that the world that is not a good place to spend any time. The comments section on the internet, I think we've all agreed, those of us who are trying to have a civilized life, help. Abby: Mm. Yeah. Especially on your own video. No. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ hell no. Even on other people's videos, I get triggered, like, and triggered is so obnoxious, but like I I find myself being like, I will hunt that person down. I will kill their children. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what and how am I at this level where I'm like at a thousand? I don't know this person. So it's triggering in me the exact same thing that it has been triggered in them, right? And we're all doing the same thing and we're just s like shit slinging and spitting in the wind. And Abby: Yeah, like how rude. How could they say that? Well, and then we talked about like how Instagram and they see they know they pedal out controversial. If a clip is having a controversial opinion, they will push it to people who they know disagree in order to incite rage in that person. And then quickly afterwards, the algorithm will feed them a cat video to then calm their rage because they're doing this thing with psychology. Chelsea Henderson: They love it. Yeah. Right. Good boy. Good good kitty. Yeah. Abby: Where they trigger and soothe, trigger and soothe, trigger and soothe, so that you associate Instagram as the place that somehow makes you feel better because of the cat videos, but really they're triggering you and calming you to create the that association. So they're gonna peddle out controversial stuff, the more like outrageous people are, the more the more big your opinions are about something, the more views you're gonna get because of the algorithm, which I don't like. Chelsea Henderson: It's like the frenemy. Yeah. Yeah. Mm mm. Abby: But yeah, we just kind of talked about like that's gonna be yeah. Yes. Chelsea Henderson: It's addiction at its very worst. It well, not its very worst. That's that's absolutely not true, but it's addiction in a in a such a basic form and in in a very insidious form. Cause this is that the first one's free dealer on a massive scale, right? I mean it's just it's insane. And we were talking about, you know, ⁓ just the i Well, how this is a Abby: In its basic form. It's in its n yeah. Chelsea Henderson: A larger systemic institutional issue, right? Like, but at the core of it, there are a couple of humans there who are doing this on purpose, right? And so that I think the energy, it's like working in a place where the boss is really bad, right? That's the culture that's penetrating the whole the whole space. And the whole space happens to touch most of the world. Abby: Okay. Yes. Which is where Which is where places like Substack, at least in our experience, in my experience, feel different. Because there are people who are f I think Substack it feels like a place for highly sensitive people. It feels like a place where people who are artists, poets, people who read long form content, people who wanna read a blog about a a trip to pick roses, like people who wanna read that. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Artists, right? Abby: They're a little more sensitive, they're artsy, and that comments, even if they don't agree, what I've seen is like, ⁓ have you you know, I don't agree, here's my opinion and there's a conversation and it just yeah, it's like a different culture over there, which I hope stays Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. Absolutely. The comments feel totally different. I I hope so too. I mean, you see a lot more people using it and I think the the format is a little different, right? I think that the way that they run the algorithm, I think the way that they have designed the actual just you know, the way that it flows is a little different. And I would be curious about the people at the helm. I don't know anything about the people who are running and own Substack. I know that it's not a meta product, at least as of like when we looked that up and looked into that just a few weeks ago. So, you know Abby: Yeah, it's not. ⁓ I know that they make their money not through advertising. They get paid when Substack writers get paid. So when someone pays to buy a subscription, because some you know, some writers put everything out for free on Substack, but some ⁓ lock half their posts or all their posts for paid subscribers only, and Substack takes a percentage and that is how they get paid. So there is no advertising, there's no mark. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Right, for members. Yes, subscribers, right. So a totally different model. There's no incentive for them to pit people against each other. Which I think that is the essence. And suddenly we're talking about social media a lot, but like that it's a I think it's interesting because we talked about coming into this space. Let's talk about the nervous system. And I think it's really funny how we are talking about the nervous system. I mean, this is just like the w one big pulsing nervous system of our culture, and then our individual nervous systems like Abby: Mm-hmm. So true. Chelsea Henderson: I don't have the nervous system that's going to do well, at least in the iteration of life that I have been gifted, to be in conflict regularly, right? Like I get to have that choice, and I am one of the luckiest humans in the history of humans that I get to have that choice, especially as a woman, as all the things, right? That's amazing. And given that, I I just don't that's not. Abby: Mm mm. Me neither. Chelsea Henderson: I get to choose not to, I'm gonna choose not to, because it does not work for me. I don't thrive on it, I don't do well with it. It it diminishes my capacity for everything. I think it probably does for everyone, but different people have different skin thickness. Mine is super thin. And so for me, it I wouldn't do that in my real life. So I I'm not gonna do it in a virtual life. And I am lucky enough to maybe know the difference and be able to seek out the difference and Abby: Yeah. Hm. Mm. Minus then two. Yeah, mine two. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: have been able to cut the ties with that and just not have it. And it's a different experience. And also, I mean, I think this we've had this discussion with the AI. It the AI, I'm like 80 years old. With the AI, with the Holy fuck. ⁓ my God. But I mean Wait, listen. but that Abby: Yeah. That was good. That was great. Chelsea Henderson: It exists. It exists. It's happening. But we could sit here. I there was a man in my hometown who would go out. He had been in the Vietnam like a big, big against the Vietnam War, was a vet and had had a lot of trauma. And he would go sit on the corner of this very busy road multiple days a week to just with all of his signs about being anti-war. Abby: It is happening. Chelsea Henderson: And very much in that kind of lens of of the Vietnam War still, but like in a modern day. And it was so sweet to see him. And I think that there were people that were affected, but it was such an interesting, like, what an interesting use of your time, you know, and and the the impact, it's a small town. I mean, it's a smallish town, and it's the same. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Intersection. Like, like at a certain point, you know, the internet has allowed us to do things that scale. Like AI is allowing us to do things at scale. And also, that man on the street, he was spending his entire life doing that, and it was not changing anything. We were at war, we're still at war. So, like, w if if if we care about something like that, then then again, like I said this yesterday, what do we do about it? And I don't necessarily know. Abby: Mm mm. True. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: The right balance of abstaining, using consciously, reading. Abby: Same. Same. 'Cause I I actually recently, this last week, I deleted not deactivated, deleted my Instagram and my Facebook personal accounts. And I have been wanting to do that for a really long time. I've deactivated before and then just like reactivated later or maybe whatever, but I just fully deleted. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Hmm, that's interesting. So you like ended your you broke up. Abby: I mean Facebook has pictures of me and my friends and my life back from like 2010. And so there's this like attachment to it as like this log of my life or like just my history, my things I've written, poems I've written are on there. It's like this and I was like, ⁓ should I like go through and download or save all those? And I've done some of that, but it's like kind of an overwhelming task. And I just finally was like, I don't Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: I don't want to be on here and I want to delete this. I don't support Mark Zuckerberg. I don't support what it does to my life because I do end up spending time on there. But then when it comes to the modern sacred Instagram and what we're building, it feels a little bit different to me, but this changes every week how I feel about it. Because it's like this I it's less of a my personal accounts felt like consumer accounts. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Whoa. Mm. Abby: where I'm consuming this platform versus our modern sacred account is like here we exist. Because when you have an online business, how no one knows you exist. Your friends and family do, and the hope is especially for us, is like friends listen to our podcast and they send it to a friend. And then that friend sends it to a friend and like it grows by word of mouth. And also Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I share. Absolutely. Yeah. We network. Yeah. Abby: The inner you know, it's nice to have a platform where you can post some clips and maybe someone will listen to the podcast and then they become fans and it's what they are looking for and it's what they need and they're like, ⁓ my gosh, I'm just loving these conversations and it I feel seen by these women and and I I really enjoy this podcast and I've found podcasts that way. So it's like that's that balance and that's why we are called modern sacred is the modern with Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. It's really good for that. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Me too. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Abby: The sacred. It's like, okay, are we on Instagram but not reading the comment? Like, it's just something that we're always kind of trying to figure out how much of it is do we want to engage, how much do we want to live by our values in that, what do our values look like in that, and what do we do when we get triggered by a comment about one of our clips and moving through that as highly sensitive women, which is where I'm very glad that we have each other. Because doing it on my own and Chelsea Henderson: Right. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Abby: Living in that vacuum, having no one to talk to about a mean comment and no no one to talk me down off the ledge of like it's too much. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Well, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's funny because we've gotten one comment that's negative. And it's not even that negative. No one's calling us names. It's really just saying I disagree with this and I see it this way in a judgmental way, which, you know, is is totally fine. Like we feel that way. We feel strongly about things all the time and we don't not talk about it, right? So it's like I think Abby: It was really just an opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Chelsea Henderson: Well, so we'd we had initially we'd been kind of talking about this through the lens of the nervous system because both of us are feeling this moment of kind of just weathered nervous systems, taught nervous systems, depleted, I don't know the right word. ⁓ but I think you get the point. Like, just you're going through this move phase. I don't even know what is happening with me. I it's hot, I have a little kid home for summer break. Abby: Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's touch on that. Yeah. It's hot where you are. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I am trying to do this business. I I don't know. And I think also past traumas just weren't weren't healed right, right? I think I I I I think I'm really acknowledging that, but I don't know what that looks like. Like we're doing this work here on ourselves to just utilize build, you know, a toolkit and just live this life a little more intentionally with a little less suffering and I think Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: I've designed all that. And then you said it really well of like when we live through things, especially at younger ages, our nervous systems start to contort to be like, okay, well, this is how we are handling this now. And you did this kind of motion of like a sh an inward kind of protective. And I really felt that when you said that of like, ⁓ yeah, I think that is something real for some for you know, for all of us probably, and for myself in this specific way. And then Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: You throw all of this right when you're building a business, you have to be responsible for everything. So we write all the content, we create all the back-end systems, we do all the we do the fucking accounting, you know, like we're doing all of these things. And we're, you know, we're networking, we're trying to grow this more grassroots. So then it's like, it's just constant, constant communication, constant planning, constant updating. It's a lot coming at you. So then something like social media and you know, this Abby: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: This space where you it's like texting. It's why I hate texting. I emojis feel disingenuous, but I have to use them. So people think that I, you know, you can't read sarcasm on texting, which I I speak sarcastically. It's just like my defense mechanism or something. I don't know what it is. ⁓ and you can't, you can't get the nuance of emotions that exist out there in the world. And so it all starts to feel like a bombardment. And so there's that. Abby: And yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Again, it's like, okay, where do where are we building capacity? And where do we need to care for ourselves better? But then what does that look like? If we need to go in and retrain the nervous system to be like, okay, we've built the the system that you can live in that supports you. Now we have to go back and heal and retrain. And that I think is just kind of blossoming into view for me in the last couple of weeks of like Abby: Hmm. Yeah. Yes. Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ there's a whole other level of work. Let's go in and do it with that. ⁓ my god, this onion never never ends. The peels just keep on coming, right? Whew. Abby: ⁓ my god, another level? The levels We i it that's like the life journey is wild with the onion. Yeah, the nervous system I don't know about you and all our listeners, but I feel like I heard I hear about the nervous system everywhere now. Nervous system regulation, which maybe it's just my little corner of existence where everybody's talking about it, but I feel like everything from like electrolyte drinks are talking about nervous system regulation and Chelsea Henderson: Yeah, me too. Have a Yeah. Abby: Which is great that people are talking about it more, but what does it really mean? What is the nervous system? Like what is trauma? And like when I was talking about how we form around these experiences, the image that came to me was like a root system where like i I don't know what the a woofle ball. Whiffle ball a pickle ball where it has like the holes in it or whatever. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: If you put that in like a pot and plant a pot, like the roots will grow around it and in it. They'll find ways to like move in and through that ball in order to like survive and get the nutrients that they need. They work around it and like we are the same way. We are completely whole healed bodies of light that are planted in this world. Chelsea Henderson: Whoa, great imagery. Yes, yes. Abby: with all of these things that we need to move around and form around. Like as babies, we're planted into this world where parents have conflict because their parents had conflict, because their parents had conflict, or because their great grandpa died in World War Two or World War One, and that changed the course of their family and their their economic status. There's so many little rocks and balls and and pits to like figure out that we end up developing basically coping mechanisms to survive and to protect this like beautiful ball of light. But I feel like as we it that's the onion, that's the formation of the ego is we've come into the world ego less, pure beingness, pure light source energy. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: And in order to survive we develop the ego and then the second half of life is about peeling back those layers to get back to our essence and our source of light and it's all part of it. Like you you have to form the ego to survive. I mean, we are Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yes, it's a incredible tool. Abby: We're completely dependent. ⁓ we come into the world we can't feed ourselves, we can't wipe ourselves, we can't we can't do anything for many years of our lives and so then we like have to learn how to survive. Like, okay, when you know, when mom and dad blah blah blah, then like it gets scary, they start yelling or or when dad comes home in this mood when he's been drinking or whatever, then it's best for me to go into the basement and play by myself and we start to learn Chelsea Henderson: Right. Yeah. Abby: these things even without knowing we're learning them. Our nervous system just forms around these balls and then we grow up and we create hopefully, you know, stable lives for ourselves where we can finally go, okay, now let's take a look at this root system. Like what do I want to keep and what's not serving me? And I've got a big tangled up ball over here that's like just all fucked up and half rotting and like pulling life force energy out of the plant, out of me. It's time to like cut that off and Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Right, right. Yes. Yeah. It's crunchy. Yes. Abby: And there that's like very, illustrative way that maybe the nervous system works. Like we could get more into detail, but that's like a good starting point maybe. Chelsea Henderson: I love it. Well, I like that it just that just the consideration of the process, right? Something to think about and and it does illustrate for me pretty well. It's like, ⁓ yeah, it all just it kinda just grows into place reactively, responsively, maybe even, you know, and I think that that is you know, and so many factors play a br like we talked we were talking about hormones and like how Abby: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ my god, yes. Chelsea Henderson: you know, you can be in a space horm like hormones are chemicals that flood our bodies at different times for different reasons in different ways and help us to respond to all the things in life that we need to respond to. They can help us react when we need to, they can help us, you know, love when we need to, calm down when we need to, defend when we need to, all those things. And then sometimes they are triggered for different reasons in conjunction with something that's happening that is not necessarily would not demand that response. And yet our then our connection we we we attach those. And so then if you were a teenager and you were highly hormonal in a moment when something happened that at other times your life wouldn't be that big of a deal, but in that moment you just were flooded and that was your response, that kind of gets ingrained into that root system, right? That that becomes then Abby: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. Chelsea Henderson: a response that your body becomes those neuropathways get set of like, okay, when this happens, I respond this way. And so like I have this wonderful therapist and she and I've been working a lot on, you know, rerouting or re repaving some neuropathways. And she's so sweet. And she talks about how when she experiences something that triggers an old response that she's trying to redirect, she will, you know Abby: Yeah, it's a pattern. Chelsea Henderson: use her tools to redirect it, take a deep breath, go outside, have a glass of water, you know, whatever. Hold her own hands. Like there's just all the things, right? Even just contact, hugging someone, petting your pets. My God, pets are amazing for that. And ⁓ and then she talks about how she'll t very intentionally like congratulate herself, or the way you would with a child. Like, great job, sweetie. Like, wow. And even like use her own name. Like I would be like Chelsea, wow, good job. Like Abby: Mm-hmm. It's so beautiful. Chelsea Henderson: You did such a great job creating that new pathway because then you're reinforcing the new pathway. And it and it that's what we respond to. And I just thought that was the cutest thing. Like, it's so cute. I know it's beautiful. And it it's effective. Abby: Yeah. Yeah, with praise. That is so beautiful. God. And that's like that inner child work. It's that inner child work, which is I mean, children, our inner child, that's like that those it's those neural grooves. Really. I mean if if we're trying to strip a if we strip away the woo part of it, which I love the woo side of it, but I feel like yeah, that that inner child healing is like those very early Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Yes, yes. Abby: neural grooves like you were saying where it's like, ⁓ when this happens I react this way to protect myself. And how we rewire that is like kindness and compassion. I do the same thing with myself. Like if I am driving up a very steep road, like I hate driving, I'm very afraid of driving, and I'm like, tense shoulders, tense, tense, tense, I'll be like, ⁓ my God, Abby, I know it's so scary. Like you're doing such a good job, like Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Abby: Just take some deep breaths. You've got this. I've got a semi on both sides. It's 80 miles an hour. I'm like, you can do this. You're doing so good. You're doing so good. And then I'll pass the some semis and pull over and be like, okay, good, good, good. Take a deep breath. You did it. You did it. That was so scary, but you did it. And I'm so proud of you. And I'm I'm literally saying this to myself in the car. And I'm like, I have to. I have to feel like someone is here with me. Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ God and your little Prius Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. A hundred percent. I do too. Yeah. Abby: in this experience. I have to feel like someone is holding my hand in order for me to do this and like I am holding my own hand because there's no one else in the car. But like learning how to do that for myself took time and I didn't know you could do that. Chelsea Henderson: I didn't know either and I think it is actually something I wish it was something we were teaching to each other when we were younger. I think it's something we should all just expect as a part of development and and anticipate and share because I think we are massively codependent in societally and culturally somehow we've really gotten to this place of being There's such a codependence, such a people pleasing element. And then at the same time, we can be so cruel to each other. It's really interesting. But there's ⁓ something really beautiful about recognizing that we are our own kind of best source of comfort and best source of of stabilization. Right. I mean, we had this conversation in one of our meetings yesterday, not recording, but in a meeting planning a retreat, and we were talking about that, you know. Abby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: the pouring from a full cup, right? I've always heard it as pouring from a full vessel or likewise trying, you know, hopefully not pouring from an empty vessel. And ⁓ I think, you know, that is where that really starts. You know, if I can self soothe Abby: ⁓ yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Then I don't need to go find my husband and get him to soothe me, right? Like sometimes there are ways we can just soothe each other by just I mean, humans regulate, right? I've learned this with being a mother. Like, children learn to regulate their own bodies, like physically, by just being in the presence of their parents. The more regulated the parents, the more regulated the child, right? It's like this beautiful science that we're learning and understanding. And so Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: You know, it's fine for me to go be in the same room as my husband, get a hug, that kind of thing. But if I were going to him and saying, I need regulation, right? Essentially, like I and I feel like that's what the that's what I feel like I picked up growing up that I was trained to do is like, I am sad, make me feel better, right? Instead of being like, Okay, how can I feel less sad? How can I be okay with sadness and then let it pass and not hold on to it as a story? How can I recognize it's a chemical Abby: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: It's a response, it's learned behavior, all the things, and then just be okay with it and let it go, re-regulate in my body, then go hug my husband, right? So that I'm not asking him to give me some of him to get better. And then when other people around me have needs, they're not asking me to give me to them to make them feel better, right? It's this shift in in that. And I think, I mean, for me, that's been a radical lesson over the last several Abby: Yeah. Mm-hmm. And Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: decades of adulthood of like just slowly learning the power there and that that really should be more the expectation. So how can we give that to ourselves and each other to then be able to support each other from a place of an overflowing cup or of overflowing vessel. You know, that just it's just natural. Abby: Mm. Mm. ⁓ so it makes me wanna I know we talked about is it it's Lauren who is a ⁓ Montessori teacher, right? Chelsea Henderson: So Lauren has a background in early childhood education and then she is she's worked in those environments and run her own little home Waldorf Montessori style school, yes. Yeah. Abby: Yes. Yeah, just to talk to someone even more about childhood development and Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ we've got to have her on. I've already asked her to come on. I I think it would be beautiful. Her her perspective is beautiful. Yeah. Abby: I would just like I'm just remembering that in this moment. Yeah, because like you were saying, it's like when we're children, that's when we with our regulated grounded caregivers, ideally. I mean we're all human, but like regulated, grounded caregivers are teaching the children how to regulate themselves through like that shared nervous system. And then like it's even been interesting within my marriage or my friendships. Chelsea Henderson: Yes. Abby: Particularly my marriage, where I used to think with that codependent lens of like, okay, my partner, my husband is feeling bad. He's feeling sad, he's feeling anxious. I need to make that better. So I need to do something to h fix him, to help him, to heal him, versus now I've been trying both with myself and with him to ask, like, what do you need? Do you maybe you could go do you want to go for a run tomorrow? Like, what's your you know, do you Chelsea Henderson: I used to be the same. Absolutely. Abby: need a cup of tea to try and be like, okay, what is it that you need for you? And it might mean not being around me. It might mean maybe you need to go on a hike. Maybe you should go on a bike ride. Like what makes you feel joy? What makes you feel good? how can I encourage you to do those things? Or what can I take off your plate for you to be able to go and do that today? Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Abby: encouraging him to regulate himself and even giving ideas of like what that might look like, which I'm not perfect at it. ⁓ but that's such a different lens than like what can I do to make you feel better? Chelsea Henderson: Right. Yeah. And that this is my responsibility. Let me own this for you in some way. If you're feeling bad, I should feel bad, right? I mean, that's you know, it's just it's a it's quicksand. Abby: Hmm. Yeah. That's a whole other thing too. It's like you are allowed to feel sad, frustrated, upset, and I can not feel those. You know, like I don't have to take on those emotions just because you have them. And that's really hard for me to keep myself. That's very hard for me. Something I'm very much learning. ⁓ with some in with ⁓ when my person or whoever I'm around is feeling anxious, I feel anxious. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Totally. Yes. Abby: And it's taken me a long time to realize that my anxiety might not be my anxiety. Because sometimes like if I were to if I were to go to a park and get a coffee and walk around, I'm I'm suddenly not anxious. But if I come back into my home where my partner is feeling anxious, now I'm anxious again. I'm like, ⁓ this is I don't think this is my anxiety. I think this is your anxiety and I am taking it on. Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ my gosh, yes. Yes. Yeah. No. Abby: ⁓ how do I not do that? That's something I'm learning, yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely. And then there's that dissection of like, what is mine? Right. I asked myself that sometimes even out loud now after coming home from being like yesterday I spent hours outside at an at a nature preserve and was just quiet next to a lake with my son. It was simple. It was I mean, no phone, no nothing. Like literally at one moment we were standing with the branches of the trees on us. So we were just in them, like swaying, like having a real nature experience. in that quiet kind of nervous system regulating way. And then we picked up my husband and we went to Costco. And it was completely different. And I was like, whoa. And so like I was in this quiet place. And so I was able to just kind of stay in that quiet place, not be reactive. I incidentally then had a couple of really cute interactions with like the women who worked there. Right. And so I was more receptive. But then we got in the car, we drove home and we I was like, we're gonna take the long way home. Abby: Yeah. ⁓ my god, the worst Chelsea Henderson: And not go on the highway because it's five o'clock traffic. So we're driving an extra 12 minutes so that we can stay on small roads and just wind our way home. It was actually really fun. We saw parts of our city that we didn't even know existed. My husband was like a little sightseer. What did you that was there? I was like, I had no idea. I don't even know where we are right now. We are fully relying on Google Maps to get us home. We are completely flying blind. and ⁓ and then I got home and was literally like, okay. Abby: Beautiful. That's awesome. Chelsea Henderson: I have a lot of different feelings going on in my body. What of this is mine? And it's a really interesting question to ask and start to probe into because you just don't know what you're picking up, right? I mean, there's just all sorts of different things and we're all in this space together and there's just so much going on. And I mean, I talk about this in my sustainability work. I always like to think about the line of Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Of human interaction that comes even into our things. So if you're in a Costco where there are hundreds of thousands of items, all of those items from the packaging to the product have been touched by hundreds, if not thousands, of hands along the way to get them there. So the energy in that space is intense. There's the people who work there, there's the people who shop there, there's the people who built the space, there's the people who live near the space, there's the people who touched every item in the space. Abby: Hmm. Wow. It is wow. Chelsea Henderson: It it's just wild when you start to think about it. And that that's just a little I mean, God, we'll go back to the internet. The internet is that on steroids. You know, it's like so ⁓ well and it I think it's an exercise of scale. Like for me, it's helpful for me to zoom out sometimes and be like, Whoa, okay. Like I know that that pasta is from Italy. So that came from another continent. Abby: Wow. Wow. ⁓ my god, Chelsea, yes. Mm. Yeah. And I'm in Colorado, so Chelsea Henderson: And I'm in Colorado. So like and like these noodles are from a up somewhere in Asia, right? Like ⁓ you know, somewhere in Southeast China. And like that's a really far distance to come here and all of the right, the people who package it, the people who ship it, it's wild. And you start to follow these energy trails and then you realize, ⁓ yeah, we're just bombarded in a way we've never been before. Abby: Wow. Chelsea Henderson: And whether you believe in energy in the woo-woo sense, and maybe we need to stop saying that and just acknowledge that like people who are engaging with us in this space probably are okay with a little bit of woo. and that's just part of what we're talking about. But woo ha and and I think there's a even just germs. We learned about this during COVID. Those of us who weren't, you know, who out there already paying attention, which you're a nurse and Abby: Yeah. Who has science we just haven't discovered yet? Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I am married to someone in the healthcare field. So we were. But many people I think didn't think about it that way. The trace of things. You touch something and the stuff on your fingers is on there for hours, sometimes longer. I mean, so it there's trace in all of this. And I think we're just living in a time where trace has exponentially expanded energetically, physically. So there's this bombardment. And if Abby: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Until you wash ⁓ Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Chelsea Henderson: I and I would say, okay, we identify as highly sensitive people. I feel like majority of folks are pretty pretty sensitive and we've just learned ways to cope and block and strategically kind of keep things at bay. So that's affecting all of us. Abby: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well it makes me makes me think about when I've gone to certain rock and crystal shops, a lot of them will cleanse the stone of energy before they give it to you. Like you pick it out and you take it to the county, you're like, I'd like to purchase this amethyst rock and they're like, Okay and they put it in the little bag and they hang it so that they're not touching it and they cleanse it with either sound or smoke or something before take Chelsea Henderson: Right. Mm-hmm. Abby: Because how many people have picked up that stone? Either at the shop, looking at it, putting it back down, looking at it, picking it back down, the person who pulled it from the earth, the journey it took on the truck to get there, like you're saying, all the hands and energies and these rocks and crystals, some of them absorb energy and some of them emit energy. So the ones that absorb energy have picked all that up and and I always kind of love that they like clean it for you before they give it to you and and like Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Abby: That is just so wild, like to be in Costco because sometimes even if it is not a busy day, it just feels so energetically intense. It feels like I am in like a Middle Eastern market. You know, like I've been to some in Morocco where, you know, it is like hundreds and hundreds of people. Yeah, right? Way less pretty at Costco, but bumping into each other and and Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ yeah, it is. Yeah. Much less pretty, but yeah. Abby: And, you know, the smells and the people and the energies and the stories, but like in that scenario you can see everybody. But in a Costco scenario, you they're in it's in these invisible forces. Dude, my mind is blown on that. That's not wild. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, arguably ar I love you. Good. I'm glad. I love I love thinking about that shit. That that will keep me occupied. That's me like a cat with a little toy to bat. Like it's I'm I'm engaged and I love thinking about that. And I think, you know, there's the the Moroccan market speaks to kind of where we came from as beings. Because yes, it's busy, it's hustling, it's bustling. Abby: Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: probably you would go home from there and need to take a breath, right? And like ⁓ have a have a little quiet moment for your nervous system to re regulate. But the thing it's still smaller scale because what that those things came from farms within a couple of miles. They came from people who live within a couple of miles. It's still different. Like we I think we're playing with things in a modern landscape that we just don't understand. And and we just have never Abby: Yeah Yeah. Yeah. Man. Chelsea Henderson: thought about it. And we're not I mean, this is industrialization, right? And from the for ⁓ listen, we live into our eighties and nineties these days, no problem. I I mean we don't die of dysentery. We don't our kids have vaccines and they don't d get polio. Like I'm so grateful for so much of it. It's I'm not shitting on it, but it is also I think there's many components to it that we just have not yet really considered and looked at how they're affecting us. And so so many of us are you know, we came into this conversation before we started recording Abby: Hmm. Chelsea Henderson: By talking about how both of us feel like our nervous systems are just strung pretty tight right now. And there's reason and then there's things we don't understand that are affecting that. And I think that that's just becoming more of a common condition because there's so much of that happening all around, just constantly. Yeah. Abby: Mm-hmm. Wow. Well, it makes me think about the germs that you were talking about. Viruses, germs, even like the smallpox blankets, you know, with like Native Americans and that there are these living creatures on physical things that can make us sick. That that was a very wild out there notion for like what what you mean there's these teeny tiny animals? Chelsea Henderson: Totally, totally yes. No. People were not buying it. They thought it was h hokum. Abby: that like jump from a blanket into me and that's what makes me sick. Like, ⁓ no, it's a demon. Like, but that this is like I I think that we're they're like, yeah, that's called a demon. And you're like, ⁓ no, that's called a that's called a virus. We know that now, but I think that we're on this part of our consciousness evolution where maybe we're starting to realize that there's energetic disease that jumps. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Yeah. It's a demon. Yeah. Yeah. I I think so. Why not? Yeah. Abby: from person to person. And this is ancient knowledge, I'm sure, with like, you know, ancient healing practices of like Reiki and and energy healing and chakras. Like this has been known. But in terms of like the modern awareness of like how energy can make you sick or well. And I person I would really love to learn more about Reiki because I've known many people who they talk about like Reiki level one. Chelsea Henderson: Absolutely, yes. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Abby: Cause you can take certifications. Reiki level one is just how to protect your own energy. It's not about how to be a Reiki practitioner. It's not about how to help other people with their energy or cleanse energy. It's like how to keep a force field around your own energetic body and how to keep it within your own con kind of control and how to cleanse your energy. I need that. I really need that. I would love to do that or to have anybody Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. I do too I do too. Abby: If there's anybody listening who is a Reiki master or practitioner who would want to come on and talk about Reiki and energy healing and energy regulation, I would love to learn more about that. I feel like I really need to know how to do that for myself. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I would too. I know. I would too. I would too. I mean, I have had my little one of my several little worry stones and I don't I try not to call it a worry stone, but I have had that during this conversation. I hold it a lot and not because I think I'm not charging my crystals in the moon. There's no crystals in my vagina. Like I'm not that person. And I love that person, by the way. That is I love that woman. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: lives in LA and has a big sun hat and like is so cool and I think she's amazing in my mind. I don't but ⁓ or fuck I'm in Colorado. There are plenty of them around here too. And they're also super badass women. It's not who I am. I I have a there's a pragmatic kind of like realistic voice in my head that realistic is not a fair word, but like that is, you know, raised by a atheist science driven father who was Abby: Yes. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: Pretty intense and pretty judgmental. And ⁓ so that voice always wants to come in. And I love that science is coming in now and saying vibration is everything, right? Vibration this stone has been on this earth for longer than human beings. Like, most likely. So that just that time on this planet's soaking up everything. It's got a vibration, it's alive, it's just alive at a different level. Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: So I love that there are these areas that we're beginning to explore that allow us to tap into some of this stuff, right? Have this stone, put some of that into this stone, let it process it out, let the vibration of the stone, that lower, quieter, stiller vibration come into me. You know, I I think that's a fascinating frontier. And I think your point about ha introducing the concept of viruses to the general public. Abby: Two months. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: It was a slow burn, right? I mean, people were Abby: And people were put in insane asylums for even for trying to move that idea forward. Because people thought you are you have schizophrenia if you think that people that these little bugs jump from person to person and that's what you be yeah. And like people yeah, people were imprisoned for their whole lives for believing that and trying to move the idea forward. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. Totally. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Abby: And the same with energy, I think, that we're in that time where it's like, Yeah, this is real, guys. This is very real. Chelsea Henderson: Yeah. And it affects us in some way, right? I mean, that's just ⁓ yeah. So I think the nervous system conversation is one that I think we'll just keep having because it is so you know, and I think the endocannabinoid system, we just we just talked about that, and that was fascinating to me. And I think, you know, we can I feel like it's so hard to traverse anything in any of these areas that we like to explore without hitting a Abby: Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Chelsea Henderson: freaking buzzword, right? And so it's like, how can we put that aside if this is not too, you know, for anything else other than our curiosity and our exploration and our quality of life, but like, you know, how can we kind of get into what that all means and how we can play in that space, right? I loved it. Ever since we had the endocannabinoid conversation, hemp seeds are up in my food, girl. You know it. I am like Abby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right? Yes. Chelsea Henderson: The more more we'll make us the better. Let me feed that system. And so Yeah. Abby: ⁓ and it just makes so much sense. Yeah, for anybody who listen back on that episode because it just it really changed my life and the way I look at my nervous system. Yeah, if I'm f like nervous system depletion, I'm like, Yeah, I've used up all my endocannabinoids because it's been a stressful day and I need to ⁓ bring it down a notch and like that's science and Chelsea Henderson: It was amazing. It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. That our bodies naturally make, by the way. Did not know that. How I mean, whoa. ⁓ we're making it. Abby: THC. Yeah. ⁓ and I forgot okay. Don't let me nerd out on this because I know we're wrapping up, but I forgot to mention last week that the the equivalent for THC that we make is called anamdamide. And anambda. Anamdamide, it comes from the Sanskrit word for bliss. So it is like the bliss chemical. And that is the Chelsea Henderson: ⁓ there's another mouthful. Anamdomide? I see you. Abby: Floating down the lazy river in golden Colorado with like a beer, maybe not a beer, maybe a seltzer, and the sun's on your face and you just feel kinda like you took a hit of a joint. 'Cause you did. Chelsea Henderson: Mm-hmm. 'Cause you did. Abby: Yeah. Chelsea Henderson: I love that you said it, 'cause that was right coming out of my mouth. But also, even if you didn't, the beauty of that system that you taught us is that we're making our own, right? And that's amazing. And if we care for our systems really well, if we care for these body machines really well, you know, body beings, these these things that we get to live in really well, then we are producing that for ourselves. So cool. Abby: Yeah. Either you did for real or Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Then we get to ride some high. Yeah, it's beautiful. Well, let's have another conversation on the nervous system and let me nerd out on it for a little while because I taught nervous system regulation in my digital detox course and I got real deep into like what are these fight, flight, freeze f phases and what is how do we know what phase we're in and how can we build awareness around that and what are Chelsea Henderson: Let's do it. Abby: techniques to bring us out of hyperegulation or out of hyper regul hyper hoop hypo arousal or hyper arousal and that was so helpful for me. That was really, really transformational in my personal healing journey was just like, ⁓ I can actually tell where I'm at and I know how to bring myself back down into like more of an even keel. And sometimes that's easy and sometimes it takes weeks. Chelsea Henderson: Mm. Abby: Sometimes it's like, ⁓ I need to really scale back my commitments. I need to say no to this volunteer opportunity I took on. I need to, you know, sometimes it's like a deep breath and sometimes it's reorganizing your life and it takes like two months to get there. Like it's, you know, it's just ⁓ it's interesting, you know, some sometimes it's not just the deep breath that fixes it. Sometimes it's like your whole life has been is is hyper arousal. You're like, ⁓ I can't like live like this. Chelsea Henderson: Wow. Yes. Let's Okay, I wanna I wanna get into that. I wanna get into that. I think in the non prescriptive way that we're trying to ⁓ go for here, I'd like for you to maybe be a little prescriptive with me because I wanna get in there and hear about that. I think there's I feel like I know so much and yet there's still more. There's still more I could be practicing. I'm not I've probably it's a lifelong practice, but I'm not exactly where I wanna be with it right now. Yeah. Abby: Yeah, so we'll get into that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's so much. I mean, it's all about equipping. Like when it comes to the prescriptive, which anyone who might be listening, like what that means for Chelsea and I is balancing here's information, here's knowledge, here's skills, here's science, here's thoughts, and take it and do with it what you will. So we try not to be like to should on eat on people. You should eat hemp seeds. You should. Chelsea Henderson: That worked for us, that worked for others we know. Yeah. Or on each other. Yeah. Abby: You should not you know, blah blah blah, or on each other or even on ourselves, but more here's the information so you can make an informed decision on how your body works and how your life flows best for you. So can give some information. Chelsea Henderson: I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Nice, well said. Well thank you. Thank you for talking. I do feel more calm. Me too. I love it. I love you too. Me too. ⁓ okay. So much love, good vibrations, right? Has a whole other meaning when you think about it that way. Hit those good high vibrations that make your body function perfectly and your emotions hum along. Abby: Hmm. I do too. I needed this. I just love it. I love you. I love our conversations. They're so healing for me. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Chelsea Henderson: Ugh. Alright, darling. Until next time. Bye. Abby: Mm, that's right. Okay. All right, goodbye everyone.