Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 57 - Question of the day

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 57 - Question of the day · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
• 0:07
  a mastermindset coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
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  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
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  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
• 0:20
  some joy into the world. So welcome to the Coop and let's
• 0:23
  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:28
  Hey everybody, good morning. OK, today we are talking about
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  the fact that many people ask the same question of me over and
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  over and over again. And that funny question is,
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  well, should I let it? Should I just let it go?
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  Should I just let go of this? Should I not think about this?
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  And it's such a common question, it really got me thinking about
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  the origins of this. Like, what are we asking?
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  Truly? What are we saying?
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  And it really comes back to one piece of information that is
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  very vital to us as human beings.
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  Do I have the right jumping off point from my belief?
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  So are we, am I, am I properly communicating with myself?
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  Because if I'm properly communicating with myself, then
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  I know if I want to die on this hill that I'm going after, or am
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  I just in a position where I, I should just not even think about
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  this any further. And it all comes back to our
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  point of view. It always comes back to what do
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  I believe? Am I believing the right things?
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  Am I focused on the right things?
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  And who knows if it's the quote UN quote right thing.
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  But the measure of this really comes into how are you feeling
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  about it? Are you distressed?
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  Do you feel excited? Is it a moving towards feeling
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  or is it a moving away from feeling?
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  Now, improper communication with yourself can lead to extremely
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  problematic situations because you just loop on things.
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  So when I say improper communication, I mean when you
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  keep doing the same things over and over and getting a result
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  that you do not want, that is improper communication with
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  yourself. Now, of course, you've heard me
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  say a million times you're going to have negative feelings and
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  they're going to show up. The question is what are they
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  trying to tell you? And when you debrief them, you
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  have new information and then you can decide, OK, do should I
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  just let this thing go? Should I just set it off into
• 2:28
  the world and not worry about it anymore?
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  Should I not argue with this person?
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  Should I just not try to make a point?
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  And it always puts us in a position of feeling like, well,
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  do I have to compromise? That's another piece of this.
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  Well, if I let it go, should I just let it go?
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  And then I have to be the one that compromises.
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  But it's not actually about compromising as much as it is
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  what is the value of your happiness to you.
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  In my world, I will put a lot of things aside and I'll say no,
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  it's OK, because I'd rather be happy than be frustrated by
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  thinking about this thing over and over and over again.
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  Now let's use a simple example, and I'm purposely using a simple
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  example, but this can go all the way up to more complicated
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  examples. It's hard to change people's
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  patterns and it's hard to change people's mind.
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  So when they get into certain patterns and they get into
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  certain mindset thinking, they have to decide to change it.
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  We can't always change it. We can change ourselves, which
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  changes the outcome ultimately of how the interaction takes
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  place because one thing changes it changes other things.
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  So I focus more on how I want to show up and then it when I do
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  that, it shifts the equation. Now let me use this simple
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  example of the dishwasher. So the dishwasher, I've joked
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  about it many times, but it still is a point of contention.
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  And it just happened last night. So I cleaned up the kitchen from
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  dinner. I set the dishwasher to start in
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  two hours so everyone had time for a shower and there was
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  nothing happening. And I came out of my shower and
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  I have like ears that hear all kinds of things.
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  And I heard the drawer open in the kitchen and I heard the
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  spoons or silverware clinking around.
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  And then I heard the freezer open or refrigerator.
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  I didn't know at that time. And then I it was silent and I
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  was laughing, 'cause I was like, oh, I know what's going on.
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  I bought ice cream. Someone's eating ice cream.
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  So I heard the spoon, heard the the freezer shut, and then I
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  heard the spoon clink in the sink and nothing, no dishwasher
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  open. So I rather than getting annoyed
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  at this because I know this happens Now if I come out in the
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  morning and the dishwasher is done and there's a spoon, a
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  singular spoon sitting in the sink, I would be like what the
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  hell? How come it didn't get in the
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  dishwasher? Rather than going down that
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  road? I ran out.
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  I opened the dishwasher. I put the spoon in it.
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  I reset it and shut the door. And the response from my husband
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  was classic funny. He's like, Oh my God, how did
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  you even know? What do you have like some sick
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  dish radar in your head? And I and I was, and I just
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  laughed and I was like, no, I just, I heard it.
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  I knew it. And it can be a, you know, it
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  can be easily fixed. So I did it, and it was a joke,
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  and we laughed about it. Now, there was a time when that
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  would not have happened that way, and I would have had
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  improper communication with myself and I would have blown
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  that spoon up to be like a World War Three, because why can't you
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  just put it in the dishwasher? But that's not the point of this
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  conversation. The point is to know that's not
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  how I want to be. I don't want to be that person
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  and rather than have the problem, I want to be happy.
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  So I properly communicated that to myself and I just go fix it
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  and it's over. And it became a joke.
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  And maybe he'll do it better next time, maybe he won't, I
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  don't know. But the point is, find out for
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  yourself where that communication is in your head
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  and ask the question, do I just want to let this go so I can
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  move on and be happy? That's the question of the day.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
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  will see you tomorrow. Bye.