Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / How can we set healthy boundaries in a relationship?

Transcript

How can we set healthy boundaries in a relationship? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship helps to make the relationship safer, clearer and more respectful for both people.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Think of boundaries as the rules of engagement that protect your time, energy and emotional well-being.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Here are some practical ways to approach it.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, be clear on your own limits first by asking yourself what behaviours make me uncomfortable or resentful?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I feel drained or taken for granted?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to feel respected and secure?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: These might include needing time alone, communicating in a respectful manner or emotional space.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Two, communicate clearly and assertively by using I statements to express yourself, such as I need some time to myself after work to decompress.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Avoid blaming and try to focus on your needs rather than the faults of theirs.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: 3.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Be consistent.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: A boundary only works if you uphold it.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency builds respect and predictability.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: four expect some pushback.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: People might resist at first, but that doesn't mean your boundary is wrong.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Healthy partners may need time to adjust.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: five, know the difference between boundaries and control.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: A boundary is about what you will or will not accept or do, whereas control is trying to dictate the other person's behavior.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: six have consequences.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries without consequences are just requests.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Decide in advance what you will do if a boundary is crossed, like in the conversation, take space or reconsider the relationship if the pattern continues.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: seven respect their boundaries too.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Healthy relationships work both ways, so encourage your partner to express their needs.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That mutual respect builds trust.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: eight, review and adjust over time as boundaries aren't static.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: As the relationships grow, your needs change.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Regular check ins will help you to know if it's still working for both of you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries are less about restriction and more about clarity.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: They help to reduce resentment, prevent burnout, and make closeness safer.