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Money, Confidence & Leadership: What Motherhood Teaches Us About Wealth · Motherhood Uncut

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Motherhood Uncut podcast, where we talk honestly about the reality of motherhood.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Kate Kricky.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: And this is a space for mothers to feel seen, heard, and understood as actually those navigating the intersection of raising young kids while also maintaining the passions, the purpose, and work outside of motherhood.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: And it's called uncut because we do not hold back here.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: Through expert conversations, personal stories, practical tools, and honest reflection, we explore what it means to care for ourselves, stay connected to our kids, and remember that we can feel hard things and still be okay.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: After beginning her career in corporate finance while raising two young children as a single mother, Melissa built a boutique financial planning firm centered on something that can often get lost in the financial world relationships.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Today she helps individuals and families build financial confidence while creating lives that reflect what matters the most.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Joining her in my conversation today is Caitlin Carlson, founder and CEO of Theory Planning Partners, a wealth management firm created exclusively for female entrepreneurs.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: Caitlin combines her background in psychology and financial planning to help women build lasting wealth while leading businesses with a purpose.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: She's passionate about transforming the financial industry by bringing a more collaborative, human-centered approach to leadership and helping more women feel confident creating wealth on their own terms.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: I loved this conversation because while we certainly talk about money, what we're really talking about is confidence and leadership and motherhood and what happens when women trust themselves enough to build lives and businesses that reflect who they truly are.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: Now, before we jump in in today's conversation, I want to tell you something that might surprise you.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: I have always had a complicated relationship with money.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've never been the person who loves spreadsheets or budgets and investing has felt intimidating.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: And financial planning has often felt like a language I was supposed to understand, but somehow missed learning.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I know I'm not alone.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: So many women, even incredibly successful, accomplished women, carry anxiety or uncertainty around money.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: We hand over the decisions, we avoid looking too closely.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: We quietly hope we are doing enough.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: And that's one of the reasons I was so excited to have this conversation with Melissa and Caitlin today.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, they're financial advisors.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, they're successful business owners in a traditionally male-dominated industry.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: But what struck me most wasn't how they think about money, it was how they think about uh leadership.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: Motherhood has changed the way they lead.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: It has changed the way they build businesses, make decisions, serve clients, and define success.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: And in return, their work has given them something I think every other woman deserves confidence in their relationship with money.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you're a mother who's ever wondered whether you can build wealth, pursue meaningful work, and stay deeply connected to your children, this conversation is over you.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so let's dive in.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: The women I work with are often deeply thoughtful, capable, ambitious mothers who care tremendously about their children and also about the work, passions, and purpose they hold outside of motherhood.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: But somewhere along the way, anxiety, guilt, overwhelm, and pressure begin pulling them out of the present moment and away from the experience they long to be having.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: The Calm Connection Accelerator is my 12-week experience designed to help mothers move from survival mode into greater calm, confidence, steadiness, and connection, both with themselves and with their children.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: If that resonates with you, I'd love to invite you to book a call with me.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: We'll talk through what's feeling hardest right now, what you most want for yourself and your family, and whether the Comm Connection Accelerator feels like the right next step for you.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: You can find more information and the link to book a call in the show notes.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I'd love to start by each of you just taking a couple of minutes to let our listeners know what sort of led you.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I'm aware that I'm asking a big question and then asking you to like put it into a small box, which is almost impossible.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: But what do you think is important for our listeners to know about you and your journey to getting where you are today?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't any Melissa, you want to start?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, sure.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, I would say I started in this career path um about eight years ago.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I was newly divorced, needing to support my two small children.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: They were three and six at the time.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, entered the financial world as a corporate financial advisor, um, was a hamster on the wheel, you know, went hard um trying to, you know, meet all the corporate standards and all of that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Did very well.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think Caitlin and I have talked about like what great corporate soldiers we could be because of our personalities.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so did really well with that.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had kind of a family um medical mishap with my son, and that really changed my focus on I don't want to be working 50, 60 hours a week, don't want to be driving and commuting to home.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was now homeschooling my son, and I needed to be like in our neighborhood and really available for him.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they were also older at the time, and I think as my kids get older, they need more of me.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I increased my certification level, um, got my CFP and left the corporate firm in 24, 2024, um, and started my own boutique firm where I felt like I could better serve my clients, but also more importantly, be there for my kids when they need me.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: So amazing.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: Quick clarifying question, Melissa.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: You said that you and Caitlin have talked about how you're great corporate soldiers because of your personalities.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_03: How would you describe that personality that makes you a great corporate soldier?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, probably goes hand in hand with the industry that we're in, which is finance.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: So um just personality-wise, like I'm pretty type A.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm very type A, not pretty type A, um, more of like a logical thinker, more direct into the point, um, less emotional, um, very competitive.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I grew up playing sports and um, you know, always wanted to be at the top of my grade for um getting straight A's and all of that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just always been ingrained in me.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it was anything from my family, but it's just like truly my personality uh to always do the best that I can.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so when you are given like a roadmap on how to succeed, and you're like, I can do that, and I can do it over and over and over again, despite what I'm sacrificing, like you will do that with this personality.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's, you know, it's something that we've both made changes through these like major changes in our careers, but I still battle with it all of the time to balance that.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that's a really useful description and something for our listeners to to pay attention to.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: Most of the women who find me, for whatever reason, the podcast, working with me, whatever it is, fit into that category of personality.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: And as we'll talk about later, it can serve us really well in work and sometimes get in the way of what it looks like to connect emotionally and be present and all those things.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I maybe we'll get to that today, maybe we won't, but certainly it's something I talk about all the time.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: So um, yeah, totally makes sense to me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Caitlin, how about you?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, a great note to pick up on.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I was also a very serious athlete.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I played ice hockey all the way up and through college, and I ended up majoring in psychology.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: I went into college thinking I was gonna major in econ, but I ended up falling in love with psych.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yet I still always envisioned myself going into finance.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: My dad was in finance, my grandfather was in finance.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so after college, I landed at an asset management firm.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And at that asset management firm was where I was introduced to the concept of a financial advisor or wealth manager.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my God, how cool this career path could combine my passion of psychology and finance, because I would be working with families and individuals and business owners and really putting like a face to the money, which I needed for sure.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I um finished a management rotational program at the asset management firm, and then I switched over to wealth management.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And as I shared with you guys at the retreat that we were at, um, my first week in wealth management, I went through an extreme amount of sexual harassment to the point of an advisor asking me to take my clothes off in front of him.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was 24, this advisor was 68.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: There was a clear power dynamic, uh, intimidation tactics, isolation.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I did not take my clothes off in front of him.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up reporting him.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And um, fortunately, my case was corroborated and he was fired.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: But that kind of set the tone for my experience in the private wealth worlds.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I continued to go through sexual harassment and tried to, I also had to pretend like nothing was happening at the same time, like trying to be good at my job, trying to be the good corporate soldier, like Melissa was talking about.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that was exhausting.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it also, I would say the silver lining is it um made me very jaded about the industry.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that inspired me to take a step back and like look at all the shortcomings of the industry and also find like what I liked and didn't like.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what I found what I loved was working with business owners.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: What I didn't like is I worked with over 300 clients and not one of them was a self-made woman.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: For an ambitious woman in her 20s to have no role models was incredibly disheartening.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but what I liked is that I could form long-term relationships with these people.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if I could get in there early enough, it could really help them.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ultimately ended up um leaving private wealth.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: By that point in time, I also had my certified financial planning designation.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: I got my certified exit planning advisor designation.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and so I left with a ton of experience working with ultra-high net worth families, and really my mission was to bring the service and strategy and support I was giving a hundred million dollar family, bring that to an ambitious female entrepreneur because I knew with my knowledge that I could significantly impact her life.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And um, we do it through a unique fee model as well.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we're very niche.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: We work specifically with female entrepreneurs, um, and we just do it in a way that I feel like reflects who I am as a person, which is one foot in the practical and one foot in the spiritual, like we are creators of our own reality.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's cool because the business gets to be really like a full expression of myself.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that is one part of who I am.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I also have three young children that are five, three, and one.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And um, being an entrepreneur allows me to be present with them as well.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, it's because they were that young, Caitlin.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: They were that young.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Were they when you opened your business?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I started the business and then found out I was pregnant with my first child two weeks later.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I but it, you know what's so interesting is like I birthed a new version of myself as an entrepreneur with every literal birth.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like after I had my oldest, I was like, what am I so afraid of?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if I can, and I had all three children naturally.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: So like unmedicated, and that was my choice.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And after I gave birth to Russell, I was just like, I can do anything.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I scared of being visible?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: Why am I scared of being visible?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: God, that's such an interesting statement.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: As you're both talking, I literally have goosebumps because you are both such incredible reflections, representations of what it looks like to follow a passion and a purpose and do it your way.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: Show up as authentically as you can.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: And you're both devoted mothers.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: I know both of your stories beyond what we'll get into here, but I can tell our listeners, I mean, it literally makes me want to cry.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: You're both devoted mothers and unwilling to sacrifice your ambition as a professional woman for multiple reasons.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um that is not easy to do.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I guess uh one thing, the first thing I'd love to dip into here is something that um Caitlin, you obviously come, you talked more, although most I know you had similar experiences.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: You talked more about this um conflict that happens when you're a woman entering a male-dominant field.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna make a couple of very general statements here.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: And we know not all men fall into the categories that I'm about to say.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, forgive me for kind of simplifying this, but we kind of we're really talking about power and control, right?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a lot of power and control in money anyway.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a lot of power and control um and in this field of finance, this realm of finance.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I'd love to just hear really from both of you a little bit more about what it has looked like.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: Melissa, you talked about this type A personality um that you were born with, that you obviously, those of us who kind of relate to that, we we have benefited from that in many ways.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: We've been able to push through challenge in many ways because of this type of personality.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm interested in hearing more from both of you about what does it look like to be thinking about bringing, again, generalization, but a woman's heart.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: There is something about being a mother that requires us to open up to our nurturing selves, our nurturers, our relationship, the relationship piece of pieces, pieces of us.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: I talk about the achievement brain and the connection brain.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: And the achievement brain is the problem solving, the fixing, the solution-oriented, the like put my head down and just uh I'm gonna reach that goal.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then the connection brain allows us to slow down and pause and be present with emotion and and and enter stillness, which a lot is it's hard to do when you're also in this field that requires you to keep moving.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway, that was a lot of talking.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what you're each gonna come up with, but I'm curious if you could both speak to that.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: Is it a dilemma?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: Is it a conflict?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Is it an opportunity?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: How do you see it?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: I see it as an opportunity.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, so when I entered this corporate structure eight years ago, um, it was like a six-month process.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I show up to the home office and there's over 200 men and under 10 women.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then over the course of the week, uh, that week, and then the weeks to follow, we got weeded out based on performance.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: So we would get like sent home, we'd fly into home office, it'd tell us what to do, we'd get sent home.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And if we would make that criteria, we'd get to come back to home office and continue to the next step.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: So by the time we graduated, there were 150 men and three or four women.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: So only eight years ago.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, those stats are really sad.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um so with that, like everything was set up for for men.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's just like make the numbers, report the numbers.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we compare you to everyone else on Monday morning minutes.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, but for me, like it was hard.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like going out, I knocked on you know every door in a 60 mile radius, and you get told no 99 times out of a hundred.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I think our listeners need to know that you're you're being literal.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: You literally walked around and literally knocked on doors.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Literally.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like how I don't know how old I was at that time, 30.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like completely not safe, but I live in small town Midwest.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: So it was easier here, you know.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm pretty nice.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: I most people thought I was a politician um during campaign season.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: But um, so like that that mental part, I'm like, yes, the logical brain is I can follow this process, like I can make these numbers, but the mental part was really hard.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I think men can get through that, you know, men's cycles are on a daily basis, women's cycles are on a monthly basis, but like you don't get a break, you know, you have to meet this criteria and meet these benchmarks.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had to do a lot more emotional things to like keep myself going.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if I didn't get new clients, I wasn't gonna pay my bills for the month.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like I couldn't feed my kids, like that's how high the stakes were.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I did do things like write myself sticky notes.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you are the best option for these people.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like you actually care about these people.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's where it is an opportunity for women instead of a disadvantage, because like people can feel that.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like clients can feel as a prospect when they sit down across from you and they're like, Do you need my money or are you gonna take care of me and my family?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually did need their money, right?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: To survive.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: But like I had to switch my brain and think, like, I actually want to take care of them because that's just innately in us women.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so from the beginning, like I built those really strong relationships, which I think in turn allowed me to step out of that corporate box when it was time to.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: I hear two really important things here.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: The sticky notes example is beautiful because what I hear you saying, Melissa, is that you needed the connection with yourself had to come first.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: What you were saying to yourself was not push forward, you know, dominate.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: It was like, I am capable of this.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: I am the best person for this.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that that is something I find is really lost for a lot of people, women who are forgetting.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: This comes to the second thing, the both and of this.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: So you were doing two things.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I both want, you know, to be in relationship with you, and I need your money.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: Both things are true, right?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think that those are two, that connection with self, that both and thinking.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: Again, those are very um, dare I say, feminine.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: Uh what do I want to, what's the word I want to use?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's something that we sort of inherently can do that might take someone a little more effort if they're just focused on reaching the goal.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: And both are really important.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I said that the way I meant to, but you know what I mean.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, absolutely.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you're starting that out.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're sitting there as three or four women in a room of like, you know, handsome men in, you know, their three-piece suits that already look like they should have the job.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, do I even own a blazer?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like you're already starting that career thinking that you're not good enough.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to, like, you have to switch that thinking from do I deserve to be here to absolutely I deserve to be here?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And like every day, you know, you have to basically reverse what you're being told to the female perspective so that it's encouraging to yourself.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: And what you're saying, Melissa, is that that belief in yourself.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: To come first, you have to be willing to see yourself as enough inherently, as capable inherently, without all the conditions, in order to show up the way you want to, where you can hold both those things.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: I both want you to pay me and I want to build a relationship with you and nurture your family in this way, you in this way.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: Is that right?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And um not coming from like, I don't know, a perspective of like, woe is me, but like I experienced this and Caitlin, you know, will absolutely have experienced this as well.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: But like you're sitting across from 60-year-old, 70-year-old men with a lot of money, and you're here, you're a 30-year-old girl.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: What do you know?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like from the beginning, again, our type A competitive personalities, like we had to perform way above what we were expected to perform to just prove that because we were already viewed as you know, lesser, basically.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I have like so many points where I could jump in.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that keeps coming to me over and over is just what I wish that corporate America had was this integration of revering masculine and feminine energies because we need both.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Truly, I mean, we live in a dualistic reality, like night and day, up and down, wake time, sleep time.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're in the corporate container, it's like the masculine is revered and the feminine is seen as threatening, so threatening that people aren't even like brave enough to give emotions credence.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: When actually we make decisions based off of emotions and then we rationalize with logic.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you're pushing away the main thing, which is emotions.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: We are emotional creatures, we're emotional beings.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's why the market itself has emotional cycles.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, and that's why women are tend to be so great at wealth creation, because wealth creation is a long natural process that mimics a lot of nature.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you give to the soil, the soil will give back to you.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Regenerative farming is actually far more profitable than monocropping.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: But monocropping is our way of thinking that we can control nature rather than working with it.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing with in the corporate culture, same thing, just that dead inside instruction of like, go make best friends with investment bankers and then just wait for them to give you deals, or go take a hundred people to coffee, it'll turn into like 10 viable conversations and you'll get one client.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, or I could just sit there, trust my intuition, and develop a great strategic partnership with somebody who could give me a hundred leads.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: That would be someone you actually like.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, someone you actually like, where actually this could be quite an enjoyable process.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And love the word far easier.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I love the word, no, no, I love the word partnership.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's really what it's about, isn't it?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Is building the real partnerships, the relationships is really what both of you are very committed to in your work.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And for my company specifically, like one of the things that drove me crazy is it was very hard to go out and get new business and also be a fantastic planner who is deep in my craft.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's very hard to do both at the same time, and they can almost be two entirely different personalities.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And our the wealth management model is asking you to be both.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I've actually like designed my company very differently, where I'm like, okay, I will be the flywheel.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like me and my highest expression is spreading the mission, spreading the message.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've spent six years getting that flywheel going.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have planners that work at theory, and all they have to do is worry about client relationship management and deep financial planning.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the only reason why I understand that is because I was a planner.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was in that seat.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, my best strategies, my best planning came from when that's all I had to focus on.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: So now, granted, like you have to do both to survive and like get to a certain point.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's just like there can be such a more collaborative approach to where people are sitting in the seats of their strengths versus just like feeding this corporate belly, this hungry ghost that is like never ending and actually not in the best interest of everybody.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I think like that's the feminine perspective of how can we make this collaborative?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: How can we make it a win-win for everybody?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've been kind of on this like soapbox recently about how we've been sold a lie about capitalism.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Capitalism has been sold to us as extractive when capitalism in its highest form is actually like very expansive.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: But that's like getting the feminine take on a traditionally masculine area.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Caitlin, you go ahead, Melissa.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was just gonna say what you're saying is like our like our brains, female, male, but also add on being a mom.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like I only have so many brains.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: So what you're saying, when you're trying to do like everything, you're like trying to be a mom, you're trying to, you know, be your house manager, you're the Uber, you're the grocery planner, you're the cook.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're also like the business manager, the rainmaker, and the planner.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's hard.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, like there's a season where you have to do that, like you have to get through the hard to be comfortable moving to the next level.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: But what you've created is just so beautiful.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's just awesome.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: You said something, Caitlin, that I think I've never thought about before.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to it it you two things.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_03: You said a lot, you talked about the win-win for everyone, right?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_03: The win-win for everyone.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I suddenly had this realization that if we are looking at wealth management, you know, I just as a global term here, um, from a female brain heart perspective, it's not that different than raising kids.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: You're in it for the long run.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_03: You're in it for the long game.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's about supporting and relationships and growing and building over time.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe we can use this win-win statement you made to shift into this idea, and Melissa, you're bringing it up now, of what does it look like to be doing all this, to be running these businesses, to be really pioneering something very important that goes way beyond just you as two individuals, while also raising kids.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: Because a lot of what I know to be true is that what keeps women out of the workforce or leaving the workforce, in quotes workforce, is a fear of what that means for their relationship with their kids or for their kids.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, you the three of us are mothers.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: My daughters are older than your kids, but I I think we would all agree that we would always choose our kids first, right?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: If if someone said, okay, you can be successful in your work or you can be successful and give your kids what you need.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: If that we really were planted this, like you have to choose, we would all choose our kids, right?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: Most people would.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: However, I deeply believe it's like the mountain I will die on that we do not have to choose, that we can make this a win-win.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_03: So I guess I'm curious to know.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and again, this is where maybe we get a little more vulnerable.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not pretty to be running a business and working hard while also raising children.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm curious to know what that has been like for both of you and how you have managed that over the years of doing your work.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to go for a small thing?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, I would say before this career, um, I was working like a seven to four accounting job, and my kids were really young.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember like wrapping them up in blankets to take them to daycare in the middle of winter.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: We we live in South Dakota, and so it's super cold, you know.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: So they were to daycare by 6:30 in the morning until like five o'clock at night, you know.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um that continued maybe even like my days got even longer sometimes in the corporate world, you know, because it got even harder.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember asking a mentor who's actually a uh a male mentor at the time.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't know that I should, like, life was already hard as an accountant.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know if I should do this career when my kids are so young at three and six.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Do the hard now because they're only going to need you more later.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no way, like this is really stinking hard.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way it gets harder.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I wouldn't say it gets harder, like in a lot of ways, it gets easier.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's no diapers, they can feed themselves, whatever.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: But my time and my emotional commitment to my kids as they get older takes a lot more from me than it did when they were three and six.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I did the hard when they were young.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of your listeners have young kids.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was also like really obsessed with the numbers.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew like once I get to this level, you know, then I can back away.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think maybe that's a place where people can really dig in and be like, what is bare minimum that I need to survive?
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there was a time that I was working at a coffee shop, going through my master's program and living in a tiny apartment with my kids.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I knew like bare minimum, we ate veggie burgers and frozen vegetables, you know, like so.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: From there, what do you actually need?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: And my kids, like, they will say that was the best time of their lives.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was just us.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: It was like in this tiny little apartment.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: They don't know how much like money I didn't have or that we're in an apartment.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they didn't know.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: They just knew that I loved them and took care of them, and that's all they cared about.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, like knowing what your bare minimum is, how hard you need to work to get out of that and make a plan and do it, you know, like Marie Folio, everything is figure outable.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I kept saying that to myself during those years, like, there is a way to make this successful.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: I just got to figure it out.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: Melissa, uh, there are a lot of myths out there about what's required to be a quote unquote good mom.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: Don't love that term, but it's a term that we all have running in the back of our minds.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: And we often think, you know, there's it aggravates me to no end, but I know we've all seen it and our listeners have all heard it, where people are saying good moms don't send their kids to daycare.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's out there, right?
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it it is something I want to take the opportunity right now to just highlight because you just said it.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: We can show up the way our children need us to show up, whether those children are in daycare or home with us, or with a nanny, or with their dad, or with a family member, it does not matter.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_03: What matters is how we are when we are with them.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the other thing that's really important to know.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of people think that we can't form deeply secure, rewarding, healthy relationships with our children when we're gone all day.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's just not true, right?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: So, your example here is a really beautiful one of what it can look like to say, I am gonna commit to working my butt off.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: What allows me to do that as a single mom is thank goodness for daycare, where they can be loved by, learn to be loved by many people and be with other children.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's so much that comes out of that.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_03: And when we're together, we're gonna have these moments of joy and connection and whatever things are happening in that little apartment that they remember.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm I'm grateful that you're bringing that here because I do think it's important that women who want to pursue careers understand that the pursuit of a career does not mean that you have to give up a relationship with your child.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_03: Anything else you want to say about that, Melissa?
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, that was a big like guilt battle for me because I grew up in a huge extended family of stay-at-home moms.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I went to kindergarten.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, every single one of my aunts, besides maybe one, um, was a stay-at-home mom.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was really hard for me, like a hard pill to swallow.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: But like you said, like I knew it was just a time of my life.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: And if I worked hard, I could get out of that, you know, that period of life.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I take my kids to school every day.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: I pick them up from school every day.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so really the only time that they're away from me is during school.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like my sister or my sister, she's almost old enough to be my sister.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter got her license this morning.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so, you know, I came into work late.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like my life is now that I've gone through the hard scheduled around my kids, and I have that flexibility to be there for them, um, which is, you know, at least half of my time is for them.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_03: And you said it, yeah, I wrote it down.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: You said they knew I loved them.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: They knew I loved them.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, exactly.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: I read a book during that time, How Children Succeed, and it said it was a study on um children that were in like low-income households or divorced households.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was after my divorce.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, again, a lot of guilt about you know what I was putting my kids through.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I needed that book at that time to just tell me like your kids don't know what's going on.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: They don't know how much money you have.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: All they know is the love that you provide to them.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, that they're taken care of.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: But other than that, like they have these little gold blinders on, you know.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, all they see is you.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful, beautiful.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: Caitlin, oh man, I mean, this is just such a great conversation.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: I and I'm talking to you guys as my three kids are in daycare.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I think I always think like rule number one, know thyself.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And daycare works fantastic for me.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: My kids go from eight to five.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: The daycare is two minutes away.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: I could walk there.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: They've been there since my oldest was nine months old, and then my younger two were six months old.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: We know all the teachers there.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: They're like the mayors of the daycare.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's such a joy to see them have these bonds with these other adults and then have their friends and go to swimming lessons and have the structure and be learning rhyming words and learning their letters, like they are developing.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I am really big on like fully present where my two feet are.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my husband and I are good about this with work travel too.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, if you're away, like be away, be there, be fully present where your feet are.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: So every morning and every night, I'm fully present with the kids.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like my phone is away.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then, but that's because during the work day, I get to do my joy.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: And similar to you, Melissa, my goal is like, okay, they're going to daycare now.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have this time to build this company, and then they're gonna transition to school, and it's gonna be a shorter day.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: And my goal is to elevate into a role that allows me to flex with their schedule and be there for them.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm doing that for myself, and then I'm also trying to create that within my culture at my company.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the coolest things I had reflected to me recently was um we hired an advisor in December who came from KPMG and she took a girl's trip in February, and she said, This is the first time I've gone on a work trip, and I haven't packed a separate suitcase for my monitors.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, and I was so proud of that because I'm trying to create a culture where it's like every household has a lead and a co-lead.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, like when you are on maternity leave, when you are on vacation, like you are truly where your two feet are, and you know you have a teammate who has your back, and that's reflected in the compensation model.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I'm I'm trying to build my own escape from corporate, but I'm also trying to build a model that's better than what we have currently.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing my mom always told me, oh, sorry, um, was like it's it's good for your kids to see you one happy, like two healthy, because I could never even take time away to go work out, um, and three successful.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what we're trying to teach them and role model for them.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it's good to, you know, to show them what that looks like in the real world.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what that's what the uh attachment research says too, right?
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: We the more willing we are, and I use the word willing because there can be a lot of uncomfortable emotions around this, you know, the more willing we are to be where our two feet are, Catherine, uh Caitlin.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_03: I love that so much.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: To really give ourselves permission to fill ourselves up and do the things that we need to feel whole, the more we're willing to do that, the more we will have to give back to our kids.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_03: The, the more, the, the more we have, we, you know, it's like filling our tank, the more we have to show up with.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a really important piece of the work I do with women.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: And you're both such incredible examples of that.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: Caitlin, I, you know, I'm gonna put you on the spot here a little bit because I love what you're saying, and I want to bring the normalcy to it.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we were all together in Nashville not that long ago, and your flight was canceled.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: You had plans to, you, you were hoping to be home on time for to wake up to have be there when your kids woke up and your flight was canceled and you couldn't be there.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: And that was painful for you.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I want to just bring that up because I think we can make it sound like it's, you know, just talking about it can make it sound quote unquote easier than it is, right?
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_03: There are all these emotions that come with this thing, all three of us and many of our listeners are doing, which is being a working mom and being committed to the work we care about and filling ourselves up and also being there for our kids.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_03: It does not always go as planned.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: And when it doesn't go as planned, we're gonna feel something, right?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_03: Anything else you want to say about that, Caitlin?
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_03: Because I it's just a great example of what it looks like to be like, ah, things I can't control are showing up here as I try to make this neat and tidy, right?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, well, I will say that that was a time where I was like grateful for the masculine.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was grateful for my husband.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: I called him, I was crying because I was like, I wanted to be home for their swim lessons tomorrow.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, You have an extra night.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just like go sit in your bed, like get takeout, clear your email inbox, you'll feel great and organized for the weekend.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay, yeah, you're right.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can turn lemonade or lemons into lemonade.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it helps to have people in your life who can reflect to you what an amazing person you are, mom you are.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not the end of the world.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, I'm gonna, they can watch cars and go to bed, and I'll meet you at swimming in the morning.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, you know.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just like you also need a village as a mom.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like you also need to be taken care of.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: You also need to have great friends or great partners or great parents to take care of you because you're also a human going through this experience.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_03: Or or great communities, if people don't have great friends or great parents or great partners.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I think that is important.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's something that I am talking a lot about is how community, you know, we all need our village so much right now.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like it is, there's so much divisiveness, there's so much separation in the world, and we need it's one of the things I loved.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, for we didn't say this to our listeners, but the three of us met at a professional retreat.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_03: But we walked away really, it's amazing.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_03: What was it, 48 hours or something?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like we walked away feeling deep connection.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't live near the two of you.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_03: And we can find our village and our community outside of you know those three areas you described, which of course are ideal, but we just need to be willing to put ourselves out there.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think like a community that shares your experience, like your community of working moms, where You know, there's just like such comfort in knowing there's another human out there experiencing what you're experiencing.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 44:08
  unknown: Yeah.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say, like, I think the way that I I think this really plays into money, and this would be a big focus of mine over my career.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just the nervous system regulation.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: Corporate America has an unhinged nervous system.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, how long did it take you to decompress?
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I called it my detox.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: It was at least six months.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like you think about, I mean, one of the best examples is like the companies that give unlimited vacation time and then nobody takes it.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't think of a more unhinged nervous system.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because companies have nervous systems.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, that's something that really needs to be addressed.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: Gosh, it is, it is everything.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I can't, we cannot function the way we want to in the world if we have an activated nervous system.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we just can't.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: And when you talk about organizations having activated nervous systems, you know, just the whole sense of the organization organization being in an agitated state, like, yeah, I mean, that is problematic, right?
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you going?
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're not you're going to be a block for money if you don't have a regulated nervous system.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: You have to feel safe enough to put the phone down and be with your kids.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have to feel safe enough to go to sleep at a reasonable time.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like that, I think is a major thing that needs to be addressed that goes hand in hand with money.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's and when is enough enough?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like um in the corporate ladder, you know, there was always a next step.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: As a business owner, there's not a ceiling.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to really check in with yourself a lot and be like, is this enough?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can I have a season of no growth because my kids need me more right now?
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that was something beautiful that you guys helped me with over the retreat.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, you know, Lindsay next to me was like, you're gonna have a time when you can do the hard, you know, your kid, I mean, you have four more years with your kids together.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's just around the corner.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's the blink of an eye when you're you you can do the next level things.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can you take a season to just enjoy and maintain and be there for your children, you know?
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I see that like on LinkedIn all the time, like these successful women, like, how do I get to the next level?
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's always a next level.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what if you're there and that's fine?
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and it's so different than we talked about this at the retreat.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: We're from all over the US.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, successful here in South Dakota and living expenses is so different than our New York friends, you know, like stop comparing to other people and like, is where you're at enough?
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: And can you be okay with that for a season at least?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: Hallelujah.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we could talk for another hour about that one.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, what I'm hearing both of you say today is that both business and parenting is a long game, it's just a long game, money, management, it's a long game.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_03: So maybe this is a great time as we wrap up here.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I am not asking for, you know, you know, I'm asking for a short answer, I guess, to this.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_03: But if there's a listener out there who is, you know, really wanting to think about money differently, that's really wanting to um feel empowered in her ability to both make and save and um hold uh wealth.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_03: What would you say to her?
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll let Caitlin take it.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is like her.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um what I would say is that dreaming is free.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it does not matter where you are in the journey.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, we live in 2026 where the internet exists or even Chat GPT.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like allow yourself to dream, get clear on your cash flow, action alleviates anxiety.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, and also, um, I think this goes to like atomic habits, where he talks about like if you're gonna change habits, you have to start with identity.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, I think for women, like shifting the identity to I am a great steward of my money.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: How would someone who is a great steward of their money act?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they would get clear on their cash flow, they would create a game plan just like Melissa did, and then they would start taking action on it.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: And there are so many tools and resources on the internet where you can talk to ChatGBT.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a certain point where yes, you do want to ultimately consult a professional.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're just like, I'm scrapping things together right now and I have a general direction I need to go, like that's as basic as it is is getting clear on your net worth, clear on your cash flow, clear on your goals, and then start taking action towards those things.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you feel like, okay, I need support, I need a level of like human support.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that is what we do for a living.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we're here.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: So feel free to reach out to us for support.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I second that and all the resources available now with technology.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when I was going through this, like literally counting my dollars, I used cash.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: That was a big thing.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like pay pay cash for my groceries, pay cash for my gas, like because that was how I can control that.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: But now there are so many processes you can set up, you know, for like your automatic savings.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: You can have like your transactions analyzed, you know, on your budgeting app so you can see where you're overspending and underspending.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I would say it's all a balance, like, don't you think, Caitlin?
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like when people, especially young moms, are like, I want to do it all.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, let's like break this down into bite size.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's get your bank account healthy first, let's eliminate your debt so that's healthy first.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want to pay for my kids' college.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, great, but you also have to pay for your future, you know.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, let's just take this one step at a time and and figure it out.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, 100% agree.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: Cash flow is huge.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, know what you make and know what you spend, and you can get really far with that.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to investing, there's nothing that can replace time.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: Time is your greatest asset when it comes to wealth creation.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: So just like taking action now, even if it is small, we tend to take a three-pronged approach for people.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you're putting money towards um paying down debt, you're putting money towards building cash reserves, and you're putting money towards long-term investing.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, if you could come up with a bucket where you're like, okay, this covers my living expenses, and then I have this surplus and start deploying it towards those three things.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's like a general rule of thumb that's gonna help long term.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_03: I am so in awe of both of you.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: I am a bit older than both of you are.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_03: My kids are older than your kids are.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I just really think we need more women like you who are paving the way for young mothers, mothers of young kids who are not willing to choose between both showing up with love and devotion and commitment to their kids while also showing up with love and devotion and commitment to their work, their craft.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_03: And you're both doing that beautifully.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_03: It makes me want to cry a little bit.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just so moved by both of you and your stories.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so grateful that you both took the time.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we've found a way to all be here at the same time, which is kind of crazy when you're talking between with three working women who have busy schedules.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I'd love for both of you to just let our listeners know where they can find you.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe again, just as we wrap up, you could just let folks know who it is specifically that you work with.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_03: You do you're both in finance, but you do, you know, slightly different things.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_03: So um, Melissa, where can folks find you and who might be the person that might find working with you helpful?
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, my website is hamptonwm.com um or I'm just underscore Melissa Hampton on Instagram.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um my Instagram is more like Lifestyle Motherhood.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm starting to write a book.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, you know, hopefully sometime within the next one.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, girl.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that'll come out.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: But um yeah, so I do, we have very different markets.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: I do primarily work with pre-retirees and retirees, so people who have already accumulated wealth and they're needing a financial plan to see how they can align that wealth with their next phase lifestyle and legacy creation.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't mean I never work with younger folks, um, but primarily in my area, those are the people that fit kind of that criteria.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um so yeah, but on a connection level, like connecting with all of you beautiful women, I would love to connect with other women um, you know, in this space.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's just so encouraging and keeps us on track for our daily lives.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_00: So amazing.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Caitlin.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so my company is Theory Planning Partners.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to theoryplanning.com.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a one-page website.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um you can click at the there's a link at the bottom if you ever want to book a call.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_00: We work primarily with female entrepreneurs.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they tend to be high six, seven, and eight figure revenue companies, and we teach them essentially how to optimize the value of their business and build personal wealth and potentially eventually exit.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: So um it's super rewarding.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yes, like Melissa said, like we tend to work with people who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm so grateful to know Melissa.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, this is my high maintenance dog.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we love dogs.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean, I he's like, you forgot to mention me.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I love knowing other people in the industry because we're so niche and yet like everyone needs access to this support.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I love knowing Melissa.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like there are plenty of people that I come across where I want to have a solution for them, you know.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want them to take next steps.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_00: So um, but yeah, that's who we focus on.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also on Instagram at theory planning partners.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I love you both.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get together again soon.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Denver's close, Kate.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'll drive down anytime.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's not far.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_03: I know in Boulder, Caitlin.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: You would five hours.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um have you been to Boulder, Caitlin?
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: I can't remember.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have not.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_00: I've been to Denver and Breckenridge.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but my husband's family is in Omaha.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we get out to the Midwest slash west sometimes.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, one of these days I'll make it all edit out this end, but I'm really grateful for both of you.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for being here.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: Really means a lot to me.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having us, Kate.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having us, ladies.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so good to see you both.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, truly.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_03: Talking about it.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: Look forward to connecting soon.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_03: Bye-bye.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_03: All right, listeners.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_03: If you found this episode helpful in any way, or if there's someone in your life who you think might benefit from hearing it, I would be so grateful if you take just a moment to subscribe, rate, review, or share this episode with a friend.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, it does feel good to know that the podcast is resonating with you.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_03: But honestly, the bigger reason I ask is because of the more subscriptions and readings and reviews of the podcast resonating.