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How to Learn from the Proverbs 31 Woman Instead of Feeling Shame · Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Life audio. Have you ever met someone who's so impressive
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: that you instantly think, Yeah, I'm not doing it enough
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: for my life. I feel that way when someone casually
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: mentions that they ran a marathon or baked fresh sour
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: dough bread and taught their toddler how to read all
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: before noon. That's how a lot of us feel when
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  Speaker 1: we meet the Proverbs thirty one woman. She's the biblical
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  Speaker 1: overachiever who makes the rest of us want to hide
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: behind our laundry piles. She's up before dawn, she's running
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  Speaker 1: a business, she's serving the community, she's investing, she's sewing closed. Meanwhile,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I'm celebrating if I remember to move the clothes from
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: the washer to the dryer before they mild. You four years.
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  Speaker 1: She's kind of intimidated us. She's been quoted at women's conferences,
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  Speaker 1: printed on coffee mugs, and held up as the gold
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  Speaker 1: standard for biblical womanhood. And somewhere along the way, many
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  Speaker 1: of us started to wonder, is this who I'm supposed
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  Speaker 1: to be? And if so, how? But here's the problem.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: We've read her story as a checklist instead of a celebration,
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  Speaker 1: as a pressure instead of a poem, And what if
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  Speaker 1: just go with me here, She's not actually here to
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  Speaker 1: exhaust us and shame us. What if she's here to
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  Speaker 1: equip us? What if this isn't a picture of a
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: perfect woman doing everything flawlessly, but a picture of what
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  Speaker 1: God can grow in a woman over our lifetime. If
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  Speaker 1: you've ever felt overwhelmed by the Proverbs thirty one woman,
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  Speaker 1: or maybe even avoided her, today's conversation is for you.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: We are talking about why she scares us, why she
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: inspires us, and how to live out her wisdom without
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: losing her mind. In recognition of International Women's Day today,
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  Speaker 1: we are going to talk about how to learn from
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  Speaker 1: the Proverbs thirty one woman. Instead of feeling welcome to
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: your hope filled perspective, where it's always our goal to
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  Speaker 1: restore hope, renew minds, and empower the listeners to live
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: in your God given identity. I'm your host, doctor Michelle
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: bankson Board, certified clinical neuropsychologist, author, speaker, and companion on
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: your journey to emotional and spiritual wellness. I'm always thankful
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: when you choose to spend a few minutes of your
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  Speaker 1: week with us. Today, we are going to talk about
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  Speaker 1: the Proverbs thirty one woman who is so loved yet
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  Speaker 1: so avoided, and how we can be inspired by her
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  Speaker 1: without losing our minds. We will talk about how to
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  Speaker 1: learn from the Proverbs thirty one woman instead of feeling shame.
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  Speaker 1: That will be our conversation right after this brief word
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  Speaker 1: from our sponsor, welcome back Today, we are diving into
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  Speaker 1: a message that can make women everywhere either want to
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  Speaker 1: grab a journal and praise the Lord or crawl into
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  Speaker 1: a closet and hide and shame. She's the woman who
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  Speaker 1: wakes up before done, runs a business, takes care of
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  Speaker 1: her kids, feeds the poor, respects her husband, handles investments
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  Speaker 1: so close, and apparently never gets tired. Ever. In honor
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  Speaker 1: of International Women's Day, we are going to discuss how
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  Speaker 1: to learn from the Proverbs thirty one woman instead of
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  Speaker 1: feeling shame. Scripture reminds us in Proverbs thirty one, verse
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  Speaker 1: twenty nine, many women do noble things, but you surpass
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  Speaker 1: them all. Joining me in this discussion today is my
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  Speaker 1: co host, Jessica Vanhrukl. Let's start with the obvious. Why
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  Speaker 1: does she rub us the wrong way? Sometimes?
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  Speaker 2: Well, honestly, it feels like an impossible standard, Like who
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  Speaker 2: is that person. It's like she's the spiritual version of
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  Speaker 2: a Pinterest mom mixed with CEO and mother Teresa. Sorry,
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  Speaker 2: I can't be all those three three things at the
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  Speaker 2: same time, Like I have Pinterest boards that I'd like
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  Speaker 2: to attain to you, but I can and I don't,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm not a great CEO and mother Teresa depends
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  Speaker 2: on the day.
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  Speaker 1: I make the Pinterest boards and then I forget how
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  Speaker 1: to access them, so it's not even gonna happen here.
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  Speaker 2: I love it.
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  Speaker 1: Although this morning I did transfer the laundry to the
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  Speaker 1: dryer before you and I pressed record.
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  Speaker 2: So ken I got a I'll do true confessions here
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  Speaker 2: of a non Proverbs thirty one woman. I forgot about
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  Speaker 2: about a load of towels for seventy two hours. Ooh,
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  Speaker 2: and when I opened the washing machine, this stench that
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  Speaker 2: greeted me was just like, oh, I can't believe I
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  Speaker 2: forgot this. And listen, I walk by my washer and
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  Speaker 2: dryer multiple times a day because it's on my way
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  Speaker 2: out of the house. It's in our mudroom, and I'm like,
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  Speaker 2: how did I forget? So there, I did restart the
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  Speaker 2: washer dump a bunch of ammonia in there. That's Pinterest
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: mom trick Number one Ammonia gets rid of any smells
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  Speaker 2: in your washer, rewashed them and told my family, do
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  Speaker 2: not let me forget the towels again.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you read about the Proverbs thirty one woman,
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  Speaker 1: and you think I'm just trying to get my laundry
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  Speaker 1: like you, from the washer to the dryer before it's sours.
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  Speaker 1: And yet she's over here buying fields and planting vineyards.
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  Speaker 1: Not to mention, she's up before dawn. I no longer
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  Speaker 1: get up before dawn unless there's emergency or I have
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  Speaker 1: to catch a flight. I don't even really want to
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  Speaker 1: be up before I've had my coffee.
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  Speaker 2: I know it's it's almost like I'll be awake, but
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  Speaker 2: it takes a good thirty forty five minutes before my
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  Speaker 2: brain wakes up. So it's best if no one asks
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  Speaker 2: me deep theological questions or oh, I have to.
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  Speaker 1: Be on time.
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  Speaker 2: No, not on time, but on in the brain at
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  Speaker 2: that early in the morning. But for many women, this
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  Speaker 2: patch passage has been used as a checklist. It's a
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  Speaker 2: measuring stick. Sometimes it feels like a pressure cooker. I
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  Speaker 2: was in Bible college a few decades ago. I'd like
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  Speaker 2: to say a few years ago. But that's not true.
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  Speaker 2: It's a few decades ago. And it was a Bible college,
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  Speaker 2: and they had open dorms where guys could come into
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  Speaker 2: the girls' dorm rooms and girls could go visit the
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  Speaker 2: guys's dorm rooms. And so I went over to visit
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  Speaker 2: a friend, guy friend, and I walked into his room
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  Speaker 2: and he had his Bible open on his desk to
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  Speaker 2: the Proverbs thirty one chapter. And I backed out of
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  Speaker 2: that room so fast, it's like my pants were on fire.
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  Speaker 2: Proverbs thirty one woman intimidated me.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so here's my question to that. Do you think
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  Speaker 1: he had it open to the Proverbs thirty one because
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  Speaker 1: he knew you were coming over? I mean, was that
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  Speaker 1: like a subliminal message, Hey, here's what I expect out
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  Speaker 1: of my future wife.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, I know, that's funny. I really don't think so,
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  Speaker 2: because you know, he pretty much invited any girl walking
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  Speaker 2: by his room to come in and see what was
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  Speaker 2: on his desk.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe that's because most women bolted because they couldn't live
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  Speaker 1: up to the standard he had opened for them.
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  Speaker 2: That's exactly right.
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  Speaker 1: We have heard sermons that sound like real women do
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  Speaker 1: all of this all the time and with a smile.
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  Speaker 1: It's a little bit like Chick fil a. It's my pleasure.
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  Speaker 1: And yet most of us end up feeling like we're
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  Speaker 1: failing at biblical womanhood. And that sense of failure, oh
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  Speaker 1: my goodness, we experience it for so many things already.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, as a mother, how many times have we
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  Speaker 1: done things that we've had to repent for or we regret.
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  Speaker 1: And in business you learn by making mistakes. But then
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  Speaker 1: to know that there is this biblical picture of the
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  Speaker 1: perfect woman, it does kind of set us up for
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  Speaker 1: feelings of failure.
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  Speaker 2: It really does. It's one of those things where I
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  Speaker 2: like to When I was homeschooling my kids, I wanted
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  Speaker 2: to set them up for success. So while I had
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  Speaker 2: high standards for them, they weren't impossible. I knew that
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  Speaker 2: they could reach them with a little bit of encouragement,
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  Speaker 2: with a little bit of growth, with a little bit
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  Speaker 2: of maturity. And that's I think part of the reason
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  Speaker 2: why we've resisted the Proverbs thirty one woman is because
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  Speaker 2: we've misunderstood her. We've misunderstood the meaning behind that passage
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  Speaker 2: in Proverbs. We've made her into a standard we're supposed
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  Speaker 2: to copy instead of a picture of wisdom lived out
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  Speaker 2: in a variety of ways over a course of a lifetime.
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  Speaker 1: I think that's important for us to delve into deeper
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  Speaker 1: because if we've misunderstood her, then we don't know what
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  Speaker 1: proper perspective we have. And I want to talk about
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  Speaker 1: that more. After this brief word from our sponsor, we'll
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  Speaker 1: be right back. Welcome back to your hope filled perspective.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Today we are talking about how to learn from the
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  Speaker 1: Proverbs thirty one woman. Instead of feeling shame. Here's the
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  Speaker 1: twist about the Proverbs thirty one woman. She's actually incredibly
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  Speaker 1: inspiring because this passage isn't about perfection. We feel like
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  Speaker 1: it is, but that's our feeling. That's not the truth.
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  Speaker 1: It's actually a portrait of character, not a job description.
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  Speaker 1: What is beautiful is that her life is rooted in
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  Speaker 1: the fear of the Lord, and that's the anchor and
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  Speaker 1: the heart of the whole poem.
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  Speaker 2: I love that you brought up that fear of the Lord.
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  Speaker 2: So often we as christ followers misunderstand the fear of
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  Speaker 2: the Lord. It's not I'm afraid of God that he's
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  Speaker 2: gonna come down with a hammer, but that fear of
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  Speaker 2: the Lord is that deep awe of who he is
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  Speaker 2: is and what he's accomplished in our lives, in the
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  Speaker 2: crosst that Jesus died on. And so when we look
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  Speaker 2: at the Proverbs thirty one through that lens, we discover
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  Speaker 2: that she's strong, she's compassionate, she's wise, she's resourceful and dignified.
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  Speaker 2: She laughs at the future, which means she's walking in
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  Speaker 2: confidence and not anxiety. Yeah, imagine how many times does
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  Speaker 2: anxiety show up in our days, our weeks are months,
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  Speaker 2: and we feel like we're walking on stilts, shaky, we
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  Speaker 2: could fall at any time, And yet Proverbs thirty one
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  Speaker 2: woman models how to laugh at the future. It's that
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  Speaker 2: fear of the Lord. It's honoring him above all else
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  Speaker 2: and understanding his place as ruler in her life. That's
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  Speaker 2: what creates a confident woman.
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  Speaker 1: And one of the things that I appreciate about her.
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  Speaker 1: I have a very high standard for driving for excellence,
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  Speaker 1: and I think that's what the Proverbs thirty one woman exemplifies.
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  Speaker 1: She did all those things as unto the Lord, and
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  Speaker 1: when we do it as unto the Lord, we should
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  Speaker 1: want to aim for excellence. But there's something else to consider.
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  Speaker 1: Proverbs thirty one, Verses ten through thirty one was written
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  Speaker 1: really as a celebration. This isn't God laying out the
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  Speaker 1: requirements for biblical womanhood. This is a husband bragging on
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  Speaker 1: his wife, and then mother teaching her son what it
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  Speaker 1: is to value a woman and the unique gifts and
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  Speaker 1: offerings that she brings, not just to that relationship but
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  Speaker 1: to the household.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you have two sons and I have a son,
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  Speaker 2: and I can think I can speak for both of us,
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  Speaker 2: but our greatest desire is for the woman that our
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  Speaker 2: sons may is to be a woman whose heart beats
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  Speaker 2: for God. Yes, And that's how the Proverbs thirty one
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  Speaker 2: woman inspires us, because she's actually showing us what it
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  Speaker 2: looks like when a woman lives fully into her God
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  Speaker 2: given identity and gifts. She does it with joy, creativity,
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  Speaker 2: and strength. And I find that encouraging and inspiring in
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  Speaker 2: my own day to day life.
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  Speaker 1: Well, and you're so right about her pursuit of the Lord.
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  Speaker 1: One of my prayers for both of my boys since
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  Speaker 1: before they were born, was that even then God would
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  Speaker 1: be preparing the woman who would be his perfect match
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  Speaker 1: for each of them who loved the Lord who pursued
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  Speaker 1: the Lord, who wanted to get to know and be
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  Speaker 1: more like the Lord. And I have one son who's married,
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  Speaker 1: and that's one of the most beautiful things about my
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  Speaker 1: daughter in law. Our conversations, her prayer requests reflect her
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  Speaker 1: pursuit of God above all else. One of the most
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  Speaker 1: helpful things for me was realizing this passage is an
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  Speaker 1: acrostic poem. Every verse starts with a different letter of
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  Speaker 1: the Hebrew alphabet. It's basically, if we want to sum
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  Speaker 1: it up, it's the a to z of a wise woman,
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  Speaker 1: and it's poetic but not literal. And I think that's
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  Speaker 1: where so many of us get off track, because we
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  Speaker 1: read it as a literal to do list to be
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  Speaker 1: approved by God and others. But no woman is doing
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  Speaker 1: or can do all these things at once. So basically,
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  Speaker 1: this passage about the Proverbs thirty one woman, it's describing
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  Speaker 1: a life of faithfulness, not a single day of the week.
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  Speaker 2: And I don't know about you, but that makes me
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  Speaker 2: feel so much relief. It's like, Oh, I have my
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  Speaker 2: whole life ahead of me, and I don't have to
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  Speaker 2: so close by a vineyard, manage my household perfectly, all
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  Speaker 2: in one day. There's freedom to make mistakes, there's freedom
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  Speaker 2: to grow, there's freedom to settle into a life lived
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  Speaker 2: for God one hundred percent. It's also, and this is
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  Speaker 2: important to remember that culturally, this was a This is
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  Speaker 2: a picture of a community oriented woman in an ancient
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  Speaker 2: household economy. Like when I served with Royal Family Kids Camp,
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  Speaker 2: the role of a mom was split up between a
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  Speaker 2: number of people. There was your camp counselors who spent,
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  Speaker 2: who guided the campers through the week. There were the cooks.
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  Speaker 2: There was the activity coordinator. There was the spiritual leader.
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  Speaker 2: And the first year I served, I came back home
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  Speaker 2: and thought, Wow, I'm really failing as a mom because
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  Speaker 2: I cannot how I poured into those students as just
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  Speaker 2: their counselor, like I can't do that with my kids.
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  Speaker 2: I'm a terrible mom. And then I realized, wait a minute,
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  Speaker 2: I'm a cook, I'm a chauffeur, I'm the washer of clothes,
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  Speaker 2: I'm the teacher. Yes, and I'm the caretaker. And so
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  Speaker 2: this ancient Proverbs thirty one woman had a whole team
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  Speaker 2: behind her. She had extended family, she had servants, she
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  Speaker 2: had workers. It wasn't just her alone meal prepping for
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  Speaker 2: a family of six.
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  Speaker 1: And I look at the attributes of the Proverbs thirty
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  Speaker 1: one woman, and I've done many of those things, not all.
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  Speaker 1: I've never purchased a vineyard or sown the seeds for
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  Speaker 1: the vineyard. But you know I've done a lot of
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  Speaker 1: those things, owning a business and washing and all those things,
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  Speaker 1: but not all at the same time. And I think
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  Speaker 1: what is so key is that we remember her heart
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  Speaker 1: of faithfulness to God. Well. I suspect if the author
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  Speaker 1: had gone more in depth, we would have seen that. Truly,
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  Speaker 1: what this passage is is a reflection of her obedience
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  Speaker 1: to what the Father was telling her in the moment.
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  Speaker 1: But where we missed the complete picture is that it
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  Speaker 1: doesn't also tell us when she screamed at her child
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  Speaker 1: and had to ask forgiveness, or when she had to
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  Speaker 1: repent because she was one shekel shy of the cost
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  Speaker 1: for the produce. I'm sure we know that there was
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  Speaker 1: only one who is ever perfect, and it was our
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  Speaker 1: Lord Jesus. So there were areas that she made mistakes,
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  Speaker 1: but it was a reflection of where her heart was.
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  Speaker 1: But we tend to feel the pressure to replicate every detail. Well,
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  Speaker 1: fortunately that can melt away when we understand the context.
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  Speaker 1: So just how do you think Understanding that this poem
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  Speaker 1: is reflecting a faith a woman of God changes how
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  Speaker 1: you relate to her.
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  Speaker 2: Well, she no longer seems like an enemy or someone
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  Speaker 2: to be jealous of, or someone to compare myself to
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  Speaker 2: referring back to we all have someone in our real
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  Speaker 2: life that seems to accomplish like everything, Like she's got
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  Speaker 2: hands of gold, She's got that Midas touch where whatever
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  Speaker 2: she does turns to gold. And frankly, I'm kind of
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  Speaker 2: a mess. I struggle with staying on top of the
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  Speaker 2: household tasks and balancing the checkbook. Do I really have
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  Speaker 2: to do that? Yeah? But knowing that this Proverbs thirty
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  Speaker 2: one woman is really a picture of a faithful woman
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  Speaker 2: helps me breathe a sigh of relief, Like I don't
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  Speaker 2: have to be her all the time. It's not a
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  Speaker 2: litmus test for a woman who pleases God. Yeah, it's
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  Speaker 2: it's literally just an encouragement. It's like for me now,
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  Speaker 2: it's like when I read Hebrews eleven, the Hall of
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  Speaker 2: Faith chapter, I'm encouraged by those who've gone before me
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  Speaker 2: to live a life of faith. Knowing now that this
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  Speaker 2: passage about the proverbs thirty one is a picture of
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  Speaker 2: a faithful woman. She's now encouraging to me instead of
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  Speaker 2: someone that I feel shame by because I can't meet
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  Speaker 2: all of those standards all at once. Yeah, how about
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  Speaker 2: for you? Has it changed things for you?
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  Speaker 1: It does in that I can get overwhelmed when I
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  Speaker 1: feel like there is too much on my plate that
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  Speaker 1: I'm the only one who can manage or be responsible
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  Speaker 1: for those items, and then I can overextend myself and
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  Speaker 1: get a bad attitude. So the proverb thirty one woman
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  Speaker 1: helps me reorient that attitude and want to do things
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  Speaker 1: out of service to the Lord and others. But I
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  Speaker 1: want to be about the things that God wants me
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  Speaker 1: to do each day. Scripture says man makes his plans,
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  Speaker 1: but God orders his steps. I think too often I
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  Speaker 1: get stuck trying to follow my plan when God has
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  Speaker 1: something totally different for me to do. Maybe I need
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  Speaker 1: to get stuck behind a slow car in traffic because
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  Speaker 1: God wants me to have a specific conversation with a
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  Speaker 1: woman at the grocery store who I wouldn't have encountered
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  Speaker 1: had I not had that momentary delay. And so I
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  Speaker 1: really look at the Proverbs thirty one woman, and think
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  Speaker 1: I want a heart like hers. But what we don't
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  Speaker 1: read in scripture is that she grumbled and complained her
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  Speaker 1: way through it. And just we have so many modern conveniences.
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  Speaker 1: Our life is easy z compared to the women of
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  Speaker 1: her time who had to hike who knows how long
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  Speaker 1: on dusty roads in the heat to go retrieve water.
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  Speaker 1: I just flip my tap on and sometimes I complain
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  Speaker 1: because it's not cold enough.
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  Speaker 2: So no, and I don't have to get a scrub
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  Speaker 2: board out and scrub my clothes. My washing machine does.
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  Speaker 1: It for me, and then go hang them up to
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  Speaker 1: dry and then have to rewash them because the dust
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  Speaker 1: has blown in and gotten them dirty again. Our lives
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  Speaker 1: really are so good, and it reminds me of that
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: saying that someone would be grateful for the life that
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: you have. Yet in our society, we have a tendency
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: to focus on that destination we will have arrived when,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: and sometimes I can forget to thank God that He's
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: answered my prayer. It's kind of like, Okay, he answered it,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: let's move on, yep, yep. But I think about that
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Proverbs thirty one woman, who really was dependent on God,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: to supply all her needs, and so I try to
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: look at her more as someone who gave back to
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: the Lord out of gratitude.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is profound, because you just said something that
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: really convicted me. How often do I pray for something
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: and I barely recognize when God answers? Or how often
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: do I get what I want but complain or wish
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I'd gotten something different? And so to wrap the Proverbs
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: thirty one woman into this layer of gratitude, Yeah, makes
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: her seem so much more approachable, so much more approachable.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: It makes her seem so much more beautiful. I love
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: to be around people who have a positive spirit, who
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: are grateful, who are content. That's probably the other biggest
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: challenge to me from the Proverbs thirty one woman is
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: to learn how to be content where I am Prince.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: We're going to take a real short break for a
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: brief word from our sponsor, but I want you to
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: stick with us to hear how we can learn from
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: the proverb thirty one woman. Instead of feeling shame that
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: we're not measuring up, we'll continue this conversation right after
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: this brief break. Welcome back. Before the break, we talked
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: about how the Proverbs thirty one. Woman can make us
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: feel shame because we feel like we don't and can't
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: measure up to this standard. But how it's really a
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: poem describing a faithful woman. So I want to in
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: turn look at some practical ways that we can actually
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: be inspired by her.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I think that's important because to switch our view of
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: her is just step one. Step two is how we
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: can learn from her, And the first step is really
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: to start with the fear of the Lord. Verse thirty
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: states it clearly charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Like I mentioned earlier, fearing the Lord isn't being scared
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: of him, it's holding him in higher esteem than anything
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: or anyone else. We can start looking for our identity
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: and confidence in what we do or produce, but we
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: just start looking like chickens, pecking the ground and running
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: around aimlessly. We grow exhausted and completely oblivious to any
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: enemy stocking us. I live in the country and we
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: have coyotes that live just over the hill. And when
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I had chickens, I lost some and I looked at chickens.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: They pay no attention to their surroundings. They're literally always
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: just pecking the ground, chasing the next tasty meal. And
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: God showed me a picture. He goes, that's what you
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: look like when you're chasing success or confidence in anything
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: else but me, your prime suspect for the enemy. I
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, I don't want to be a chicken.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So then I started really diving into what it means
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: to fear the Lord, in the fact that I'm going
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: to place him and the highest place of priority in
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: my life.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And shame is a tactic the enemy uses and we
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: fall for it so easily. Jessica Ewan and I have
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: done other episodes about how to recover from shame because
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: shame comes especially when we make success or approval or
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: accumulating things our motivation. But our value doesn't come from
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: productivity or perfection. It comes from those moments of intimacy
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: with God. So if we start there, everything else flows
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: out of our relationship with.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Him, so good. Secondly, it's important to identify your see
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Proverbs thirty one. Woman didn't do all of that in
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: one season of her life. There were years where she
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: was raising young kids, years where she was planting those vineyards,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: and years when she was investing. So it's important to
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: ask ourselves what is God calling me to be faithful
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: with right now? Not everything, not your twenty year plan,
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: just today's assignment, just today.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Third, use your gifts, not hers. Some of you
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: are business minded, and some of you are creatives. Others
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: are very nurturing souls. Still others are leaders, and some
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: are behind the scenes geniuses. God doesn't call you to
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: be a carbon copy of an ancient Hebrew woman. He
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: called you to bring your gifts to your family, community,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: and the world.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's so good to remember that we are all
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: blessed and given with gifts for the benefit of others.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I love that we don't have to be copies of
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: each other. It's a beautiful realization. Fourth, let go of
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: the hustle culture. That hustle culture will only wear us out.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: The Proverbs thirty one woman is active, she's not frantic.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Her strength doesn't come from always working. It comes from
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: wisdom and peace. You see, God doesn't call us to
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: burn out. He calls us to faithfulness, boundaries, and rest.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Oh isn't it interesting how so many of our conversations
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: come back to boundaries and rest. It's almost like God
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: prioritizes that or something.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: You know it does, and we chase this unrealistic version
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: of the Proverbs thirty one woman that we've built up
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: in our own minds.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: So rest celebrate progress, not perfection. Like we mentioned before
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: the break, I don't think the Proverbs thirty one woman
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: was perfect. Jesus was the only perfect soul who's ever lived.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: And this passage in Proverbs is a poem describing a
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: woman over the course of her life. It's not a checklist,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: It's really more of a blessing list because it shows
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: what God can cultivate in us over our lifetime. We
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: don't need to be all of her today because God
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: shapes us day by day.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. In sixth, embrace community, Proverbs thirty one woman didn't
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: do life alone, and neither should. We build friendships lean
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: on your church family. The Proverb's thirty one life is
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: impossible to do alone and will induce shame if we're isolated.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Proverbs thirty one woman becomes a beautiful expression of a
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: faithful woman when we're supported by community friends.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: If you have ever felt intimidated like us than I
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: have because of the Proverbs thirty one woman, we want
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: you to hear this. She is not here to shame you.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: She's here to inspire you. Because God delights in the strength, creativity, courage,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: and wisdom he's placed inside you. You don't need to
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: become her overnight. You simply need to walk with God
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: in your season, using your gifts and trusting his direction
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: one step at a time. Faithfulness isn't flashy, it's steady
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: progress in the same direction. Just as we close out
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: this episode of a listener of viewers resonating with our
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: conversation what home fielled perspective? Do you want to leave
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: them with?
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: I would like to encourage you that you are doing well.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: There's that parable that Jesus shares about the servants who
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: are given an opportunity, and when the Master came back,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: he said, well done, good and faithful servant. And I
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: want you to know that your efforts are good enough,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: that your faithfulness good is good enough. It's your faithfulness
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: that produces well done, good and faithful servant. Look to
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: the Proverbs thirty one woman, not as a list of
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: everything that you're doing wrong, but as an inspiration of
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: a living a life of faithfulness to our God. I'd
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: like to pray for us today if I can. Heavenly, Father,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: thank you so very much that you've given us all
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: the tools that we need to live life. And yet, Lord,
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: you call us to depend on you, to not do
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: it in our own strength. Lord, forgive us for thinking
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: that we have to generate all of this perfection in
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: our own In fact, you don't even call us to
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: be perfect. You call us to completion. Lord, you desire
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: to complete us. So Lord, let us take a step
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: back from the striving and the chasing after this standard
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: that doesn't even exist. And Lord, let us look to
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: you to live a life of faith. Let us look
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: to the Proverbs thirty one woman as a celebration of
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: a faithful woman who lives her life for you. Lord,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: we pray, and we praise you for what you're doing
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: in our lives. In Jesus' name, we pray.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Amen. Amen. Friends, I hope that today's episode gave you
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: pause to perhaps consider the Proverbs thirty one woman in
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: a different light. Let her be an encouragement to you.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Let her be a reminder to you of the seasons
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: that God brings you through. Let her be a motivation
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: to you to do things with a glad heart, not
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: a grumbling spirit, and to do as unto the Lord.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: If there was something in today's episode that resonated with you,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: or you know someone who you think would benefit, would
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: you please share this with them so that they have
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: a biblically based hope Field perspective, and maybe even consider
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: in your group of friends listening to this episode together
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: and talking about misconceptions you've had about the Proverbs thirty
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: one woman and how she can be an inspiration to you.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I look forward to being with you again next week
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: for another biblically based hope Field perspective, but until then,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: it's my prayer for you that you have a hope
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: filled week.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: Are you or your group looking for a speaker for
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: your next event or gathering. Nothing delights doctor Michelle Benkson
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: more than connecting with her audiences and sharing from her
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: professional expertise and personal experience to champion others in their journey.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: She has spoken on a wide variety of topics, including hoperevails,
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: living the abundant life. Christ came to give the hem
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: of his garment, reaching out to God when pain overwhelms
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: victor not a victim, rid yourself of the poisonous shame
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: and self defeat in your life, walking in the truth
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: of our identity, hope for the silent epidemic, Understand depression
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: in children and teens, and breaking anxiety scrip how to
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: reclaim the piece God promises. Doctor Bankson is willing to
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: tailor a message specifically to your group or event. Past
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: audiences have included one hundred Hontley Street Life Today, the
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  Speaker 4: American Association of Christian Counselors, Gateway Church, Roaring Lambs, and
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: Fellowship of Professional Women, to name a few. Doctor Benkson
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: is now accepting invitations for speaking engagements. For more information
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: or to contact doctor Benkson to speak at your event,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: reach out to our staff at info at doctor michelleb
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: dot com.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Thank you for joining doctor Bankson for your hope build perspective.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation, when you take
• 32:50
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• 33:16
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• 33:20
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• 33:24
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• 33:28
  Speaker 3: a hope filled week.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I'd like to take just a second to thank the
• 33:35
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• 33:38
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