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What it Costs to Stop Gossiping · Daily Devotions for Busy Lives

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  Speak: Erin was out with a friend one evening when the
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  conversation turned the way it always did. Her friend leaned in.
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  She had something to share about a woman they both knew. A month
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  earlier, Erin would have leaned in, too. She would have matched
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  the story with one of her own. This was how they talked, heads
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  closed over a table, picking apart someone who wasn't even in
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  the room. This time, she heard herself say three words she had
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  never said before, I'd rather not. Her friend blinked, then
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  The two of them called it a night early, three hours earlier
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  than they usually would have. Erin went home rattled. She had
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  kept her mouth shut, and it cost her an evening with someone she
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  cared about. The truth was, she had made a decision a few weeks
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  back, and it was pulling her friendships apart. We'll come
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  back to what Erin had decided, but
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  first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm
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  Bart Leger. I hate to admit it, but I've caught myself retelling
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  something I heard from somebody else without checking whether it
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  was true. I passed it along without thinking how it might
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  affect the person being talked about. Reprehensible, right? I
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  know. And the worst part of it? Getting the facts wrong wasn't
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  the main problem. I shouldn't have said anything at all, true
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  or not. Most of us wouldn't call ourselves a gossip. You pass
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  things along, or you add one detail to a conversation that
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  was already running. It's harmless, right? But stopping
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  can cost you something. Some of the people you talk to will
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  notice, and a few of them might even take it personally. You'll
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  be the one who stopped playing, and they'll feel judged by that
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  even if you never said a word about them. Solomon said
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  something about this. It's in Proverbs. Proverbs 10, 19. Too
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  much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth
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  shut. The Hebrew carries a fuller meaning than the English.
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  Where the words pile up, Solomon says, the transgression does not
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  cease. It keeps producing. So Solomon points to volume. The
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  longer your mouth is open, the more of this gets out of it. He
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  says we're to withhold, to hold back something you could have
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  handed over. That's the same verb God uses with Abraham on
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  the mountain when he says, You have not withheld your son from
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  me. So Solomon picked a word about deliberately keeping back
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  something you had in your hand, which tells you what restraint
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  is. You had the story in your hand, and you chose not to share
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  it. Then look at what Solomon promises the man who does that.
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  He calls him wise, and that's huge. Solomon didn't guarantee
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  that anyone would thank you for it. Solomon knew what gossip
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  does to a friendship, because six chapters later, he writes
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  that a gossip separates the best of friends. Here's the turn
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  Aaron found. She quit, and the quitting separated her from
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  friends, too, which tells you something about what some of
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  those friendships were built on. It had started with a video.
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  making the rounds online, a cruel one, mocking a young woman
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  who had never agreed to be filmed. Aaron watched the
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  comments pile on, and instead of the usual rush of interest, she
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  felt sick. In that moment, she made herself a rule. For one
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  month, she would not gossip about anyone. The month cost her
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  more than she expected. Some friends felt shut out, like the
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  ones who ended the night early, rather than trade stories about
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  someone else. Something else happened also. Her conversations
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  started turning toward what people were doing with their
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  lives, rather than what was wrong with them. When someone
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  tried to hand her gossip about herself, she said, I'm not
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  giving airtime to this drama. What she learned was simple and
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  a little uncomfortable. Most of what she had called conversation
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  had been running other people down. She had just never counted
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  the cost before. She'll tell you that she slips back into it
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  every now and then, and unfortunately, she's not quit
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  for good. But she counts the cost now when she does. I know
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  it's not a complete success story, but 30 days made her a
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  woman who knows the price tag. Here's today's challenge. Pick
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  one week. For seven days, you're out of the business of talking
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  about people who aren't in the room. Then, pay attention to
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  what happens to your conversations. Some of them will
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  get a little shorter. And have your sentence ready before you
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  need it. Aaron used three simple words. Pick yours this week
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  before you cross a table from somebody with a story. Father,
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  Solomon said where the words pile up, the trouble never runs
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  out. Then, he called holding back wisdom. Thank you that you
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  counted restraint as wisdom and never as weakness. For everybody
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  listening who has been handing along what they heard without
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  weighing it first, give them the catch in the throat before the
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  sentence gets out. And where the stopping cost us a friendship,
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  show us what that friendship was running on in the first place.
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  In Jesus' name, amen. This podcast runs on the generosity
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  of listeners just like you. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives
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  has encouraged you, would you consider supporting with a
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  one-time gift or by becoming a monthly supporter? Every
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  contribution helps keep these devotion coming every week. You
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  can give at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com
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  support. Thank you so much. Thanks for joining me on Daily
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  Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, the word Solomon uses
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  for restraint means withholding something you could have handed
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  over. Pick your three words this week. Come back next time for
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  more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.
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  Until then, God bless and have a great day.