Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1049 Q&A - The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents

Transcript

#1049 Q&A - The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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Speaker 2: once answers.
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Speaker 1: Now, Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the Happy Families podcast.
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Speaker 1: This is where we answer your questions. If you would
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Speaker 1: like to submit a question, Because family life can be
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Speaker 1: a little bit tricky, sometimes it's super easy. Just go
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Speaker 1: to happy families dot com dot you happy families dot
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Speaker 1: start talking. Job done always helps if you write it out,
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Speaker 1: you're asking. Happy families dot com dot you scroll down
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Speaker 1: to where it says podcasts, click the button start talking.
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Speaker 1: It's that simple. Today in the podcast, we're talking about
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Speaker 1: how to beautify your inner space and why it makes
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Speaker 1: a difference for your family's happiness. We're also talking about
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Speaker 1: grandparents being a little bit traditional and doing things their
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Speaker 1: way when they're looking after the kids. Here we go
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Speaker 1: a question number one.
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Speaker 2: Hi Justin and Kylie Aimy from Melbourne. Here. I've been
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Speaker 2: trying to boost mine and my families well being lately,
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Speaker 2: and while I'm doing lots of the common things like exercise, nutrition,
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Speaker 2: fresh air, etc. I've been seeing a lot of posts
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Speaker 2: online about the benefits of having indoor plants around the
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Speaker 2: home in the workplace. I'm wondering if there's any science
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Speaker 2: back to research on the effect of indoor plants on
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Speaker 2: kids in families and moo sleep productivity, or even just
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Speaker 2: air quality that would help my family. Thanks.
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Speaker 1: Amy, love the question. In some ways, it's one of
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Speaker 1: those low stakes kinds of questions. The reason I say
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Speaker 1: that is because when it comes to well being, while
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Speaker 1: I don't have any solid data that I can lean
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Speaker 1: on to point to what percentage of variability of well
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Speaker 1: being is supported by having indoor plants, we know that
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Speaker 1: there are other things that make a much, much bigger
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Speaker 1: difference in your children's and your own well being. So
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Speaker 1: you've touched on a few things you've highlighted exercise, nutrition,
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Speaker 1: fresh air. These are vital. I mean, the more time
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Speaker 1: your kids are spending in nature, nature is fuel for
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Speaker 1: the soul. The more time they can spend building relationships
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Speaker 1: with meaningful people in their lives, the better it is.
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Speaker 1: And they're the things that I'd be really emphasizing first
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Speaker 1: if I wanted to make a big difference in my
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Speaker 1: family as well being. It's not that having a beautiful
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Speaker 1: indoor environment doesn't matter. Of course it does, and it
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Speaker 1: does contribute to well being and happiness and lifting low mood.
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Speaker 1: But these other things will generally have a much greater
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Speaker 1: impact on well being. So I'd be focusing primarily on
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Speaker 1: the kids having fun, both indoors and outdoors, with a
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Speaker 1: maximal reduction of screen time and screen activity where possible,
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Speaker 1: without becoming fanatical about it, because sometimes sometimes screensren't that
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Speaker 1: big of a deal. When I wrote ten Things Every
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Speaker 1: Parent Needs to Know, I think it's not about page
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Speaker 1: one hundred and ten hundred and twelve. Somewhere in there,
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Speaker 1: I've got this list. We're actually we're using this list
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Speaker 1: in home at the moment because I've become a little
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Speaker 1: bit excessively militant about screens in our house as we've
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Speaker 1: pulled out the book. And there's a list, and it
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Speaker 1: basically says, have you played outside, spent time with a friend,
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Speaker 1: cleaned your bedroom, done your chores, done your art or
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Speaker 1: music or whatever it is that your extracurricular activity is
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Speaker 1: supposed to be. Have you done all these other high
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Speaker 1: value activities? If you've done all those things, you know
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Speaker 1: what fill your boots get on the screen, you'll be fine.
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Speaker 1: I have to acknowledge there's nothing on that piece of
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Speaker 1: paper that points us to have you stared at greenery
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Speaker 1: with the indoor plant in the corner of your room.
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Speaker 1: Maybe we should have put that there. I don't think
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Speaker 1: that there's that level of value though. The value is
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Speaker 1: in risky play, doing hard things, physical activity, being outside
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Speaker 1: the house, staring at clouds and trying to use your
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Speaker 1: mind to explode the clouds. Once we're at that level
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Speaker 1: and we're doing those things, then yes, small boosts diminishing returns,
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Speaker 1: I think, but small boosts to well being. What you
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Speaker 1: really do this for is because it feels really nice
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Speaker 1: to have nice stuff in your house, nice artwork, plenty
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Speaker 1: of greenery. A couple of weeks ago on the Happy
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Speaker 1: Families podcast when we did a doctor's Desk episode which
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Speaker 1: we will link to in the show notes, I did
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Speaker 1: emphasize some research highlights that having greenery, whether it's inside
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Speaker 1: or outside, will make a difference for your wellbeing. There
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Speaker 1: is science there. It does support it. Again, when you
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Speaker 1: partial out the variance that it's contributing to the overall
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Speaker 1: sum of well being, I would imagine that it's fairly small,
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Speaker 1: but it is measurable, it is statistically significant. It does
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Speaker 1: make a difference. And you know what, it doesn't even
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Speaker 1: have to be a plant. When I was doing the
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Speaker 1: research around this, I found a couple of studies that
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Speaker 1: highlighted that even having pictures on the wall, or having
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Speaker 1: a beautified screen saver of lots of greenery, even that
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Speaker 1: can make a difference. So Amy, short answer, fill your boots,
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Speaker 1: make your indoor spaces as green and beautiful as you want. Obviously,
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Speaker 1: don't spill water all over the car, but that's not
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Speaker 1: going to do anything for your happiness and well being,
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Speaker 1: and it'll stink. But I mean, this is a great idea.
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Speaker 1: It's a great idea to invest in making indoors beautiful
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Speaker 1: because we do spend a lot of time there with
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Speaker 1: whether we like it or not. Amy, thanks so much
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Speaker 1: for the question. Up next, we talk about grandparents doing
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Speaker 1: things well in the way that we don't like them
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Speaker 1: doing it when they're looking after our kids. Okay, question
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Speaker 1: number two all about grandparents from Jenny.
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Speaker 2: Hey, my name is Jenny and I'm in wa and
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Speaker 2: we love them advice. I have a three year old
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Speaker 2: and a newborn. I would love to have my parents
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Speaker 2: look after my three one to two days a week
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Speaker 2: so I can spend one on one time with the baby.
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Speaker 2: What's our parents love the kids and have good intentions.
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Speaker 2: They're very set on traditional parenting style, for example, using
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Speaker 2: barratal scare tactics to get those and behaviors, Discourage physical
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Speaker 2: play in fear of him getting hurt, telling him how
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Speaker 2: to pay rather than being Childotte that you have a
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Speaker 2: good relationship with him, but I'm concerned spent in vain
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Speaker 2: with them, will I get my efforts in trying to
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Speaker 2: build his confidence? He's already quite a cautious one. Should
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Speaker 2: I keep him with me or let him be with
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Speaker 2: grandparents going to two days a week? Thanks for your help.
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Speaker 1: Jenny from WA. Thank you so much for your question.
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Speaker 1: For me, this is a no brainer so long as
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Speaker 1: your grandparents are safe. That is, so long as your
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Speaker 1: children are not in any genuine danger of any kind.
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Speaker 1: I just think the more time your kids can spend
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Speaker 1: with them, the better. Yes, they have traditional approaches to parenting.
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Speaker 1: Yes they're different to your approaches to parenting, but I
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Speaker 1: don't think that that matters in the slightest. You are
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Speaker 1: the primary parent. You're the primary caregiver, You're the primary
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Speaker 1: influencing children's lives. And grandparents love their grandkids unconditionally. It's
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Speaker 1: just so delightful to watch them spending time with them.
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Speaker 1: And Australian Institute of Family Studies research report that was
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Speaker 1: published just over two years ago showed this two and
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Speaker 1: five grandparents in Australia the grandchild under thirteen years of age,
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Speaker 1: So definitely in your demo, Jennie, we're talking about a
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Speaker 1: three year old, we're providing some childcare. The proportion providing
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Speaker 1: childcare was higher if the youngest grandchild was under ten
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Speaker 1: years rather than ten to twelve years. Okay, so it
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Speaker 1: was sixty three percent if the youngest grandchild was under
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Speaker 1: ten years, it was only thirty three percent. Once that
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Speaker 1: kid I got to ten to twelve years. Just over
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Speaker 1: one in four grandparents with the grandchild under thirteen was
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Speaker 1: providing childcare at least once a week. More frequent childcare
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Speaker 1: more likely for younger children. No surprises there. They also
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Speaker 1: found that grandparent childcare is more often on a casual
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Speaker 1: or occasional basis, Around about sixty two percent of grandparent
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Speaker 1: childcare comes in there compared to regular childcare thirty nine percent,
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Speaker 1: our school holiday care which was twenty six percent, about
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Speaker 1: one in five. Grandparents provide a combination of these, like
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Speaker 1: providing school holiday childcare as well as the occasional childcare.
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Speaker 1: And last, but perhaps most important of all, most often,
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Speaker 1: grandparents provide child care to support parents work. Grandparents desire
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Speaker 1: to connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was
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Speaker 1: fundamental to them taking on this childcare. Two things that
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Speaker 1: I want to draw out of that last statement. Number one,
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Speaker 1: grandparents provide childcare to support parents work most often, Jenny,
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Speaker 1: You're in a wonderful position where you just want to
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Speaker 1: spend time with your kid, oh, your brand new baby,
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Speaker 1: and therefore grandparents are stepping in to provide you with
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Speaker 1: that support. That's a really wonderful and maybe even slightly
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Speaker 1: privileged place to be. Take it, go with it, except
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Speaker 1: the privilege. It's brilliant. But the thing that I really
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Speaker 1: want to zero in on is this grandparents desire to
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Speaker 1: connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was fundamental
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Speaker 1: to them taking on this childcare. Here's the thing. Grandparents
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Speaker 1: don't need to do this. They've already raised their kids,
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Speaker 1: they've got their retirement in front of them. They've got
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Speaker 1: the money that they need, they've got the time they
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Speaker 1: need to do the stuff that they want to do,
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Speaker 1: and they're saying, I want to do this. I want
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Speaker 1: to build my relationship with my grandkids. I want to
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Speaker 1: support my own children because I love them. The unconditional
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Speaker 1: acceptance that grandparents show towards grandchildren is a reflection of
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Speaker 1: the love that they have for their children. But sometimes
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Speaker 1: they didn't quite show it the right way. Now, every
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Speaker 1: now and again, those grandparents are going to do things that.
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Speaker 3: We don't like, Like sometimes it really ticks us off
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Speaker 3: because they feed them sugary treats or they literally have
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Speaker 3: a disciplinary approach that is counter to what we're trying
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Speaker 3: to create in our own home.
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Speaker 1: I haven't found any evidence to indicate that there are
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Speaker 1: any negative effects on the grandkids from this happening. I've
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Speaker 1: only found positive effects of strong grandparent grandchild relationships. My
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Speaker 1: short advice is this, be grateful. The stakes are low here,
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Speaker 1: be grateful. The benefits are enormous for them, for your children,
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Speaker 1: and for you. Let me go through a list of
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Speaker 1: benefits real quick. I did some scouting around and some
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Speaker 1: researching into the papers, and here's what I found. Number One,
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Speaker 1: grandparents feel young again. This is so good for them.
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Speaker 1: Increased mental well being and socialization for who. For the grandparents,
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Speaker 1: they have lower rates of depression and a more vigorous lifestyle. Plus,
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Speaker 1: grandparents emotional support can significantly impact their grandchildren's mental health.
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Speaker 1: This is so valuable for them. Grandparents can be great teachers.
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Speaker 1: Grandparents can have the opportunity to share their values, like
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Speaker 1: the importance of I don't know, getting a good education,
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Speaker 1: or she'll be right made, just get up and have
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Speaker 1: another go. There's so many teaching opportunities. Grandchildren keep grandparents strong.
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Speaker 1: Grandparents get to strengthen bonds. There's physical and emotional support.
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Speaker 1: There's the legacy creation. There's grandparents who are just helping out,
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Speaker 1: making your life easier. There is a level of unconditionality,
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Speaker 1: and I've experienced this with my own granddaughter. There is
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Speaker 1: a level of unconditionality that grandparents feel towards their grandchildren.
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Speaker 1: That is I don't know how to describe it. It
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Speaker 1: just changes you are. Research shows grandparents who are actively
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Speaker 1: involved in their children's lives live five years longer than
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Speaker 1: those who never babysit. I mean, this is this is
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Speaker 1: so so valuable. Please, please, please, don't worry about the
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Speaker 1: little things. They are little, they really are. Get the
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Speaker 1: kids involved with them. This childcare option makes your life easier,
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Speaker 1: it gives them a better lifestyle. It's good for the grandkids.
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Speaker 1: It's an easy yes from me. Just say yes, Jenny.
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Speaker 1: I hope that answers your question emphatically. If you would
11:30
Speaker 1: like to submit a question, if you'd like to know
11:32
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11:34
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