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327-You Are Not Stuck. You Are Committed to a Thought- with Deanna Keith · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:00
  Theresa c roft: Does what happen to you get to determine what happens next?
• 0:04
  Theresa c roft: You've gone through all kinds of abuse.
• 0:07
  Theresa c roft: Is there hope?
• 0:09
  Theresa c roft: Our guest has a story that'll definitely bring you hope, whatever you're going through.
• 0:15
  Theresa c roft: Hey, welcome back.
• 0:16
  Theresa c roft: It's the Stuck No More Voices podcast.
• 0:17
  Theresa c roft: I'm Theresa Croft.
• 0:19
  Theresa c roft: I'm a visibility strategist.
• 0:21
  Theresa c roft: I help women go from their calling, to a story, to a message that their ideal audience wants.
• 0:27
  Theresa c roft: If you happen to be listening, do me a favor and subscribe on YouTube or share this episode.
• 0:33
  Theresa c roft: Share it if you know someone's going to be impacted, with it.
• 0:37
  Theresa c roft: So, so this episode is a special feature with the Stuck No More Voices podcast, The Calling Table Sessions.
• 0:44
  Theresa c roft: It's a seat for Christian women whose story deserves to be handled with care and whose voice is ready to be heard.
• 0:52
  Theresa c roft: So pull up a chair and help me welcome to the table Deanna Keith.
• 0:57
  Theresa c roft: Deanna, it's great to have you.
• 1:00
  DeAnna: Thank you for having me.
• 1:01
  DeAnna: I'm honored to be here.
• 1:02
  DeAnna: Thank
• 1:02
  Theresa c roft: you.
• 1:02
  Theresa c roft: Now, when I say handle your story with care, we d- I look at your story and I'm like, we need a, we need some care here.
• 1:11
  Theresa c roft: I mean, you help your women look at their lives in a different angle by what they've always believed or lived by.
• 1:18
  Theresa c roft: You've lived through some things to be able to say that, so can we peel open the story?
• 1:25
  DeAnna: Sure.
• 1:25
  Theresa c roft: Starting, starting when you were young.
• 1:27
  DeAnna: Sure.
• 1:28
  DeAnna: I'll start at the very beginning.
• 1:29
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 1:30
  DeAnna: All right.
• 1:31
  DeAnna: The very first memory I have on this earth is at age three.
• 1:34
  DeAnna: Mm.
• 1:34
  DeAnna: And I experienced, um, a sexual assault.
• 1:38
  Theresa c roft: Hmm.
• 1:38
  DeAnna: Um, the next memory is of me telling my mama, and at age three there's not much verbiage around that other than saying- Right.
• 1:47
  Theresa c roft: Yeah
• 1:47
  DeAnna: I'm hurt, here's the location, and who did it to me." So right after that, I, I, I remember seeing my mother up, up through some stairs, um-
• 1:59
  Theresa c roft: Okay
• 2:00
  DeAnna: really wailing on her sibling, who was 15 at the time, that injured me, and I was three, so when you think about that age.
• 2:08
  DeAnna: Um, and then her father pulling her off of him.
• 2:11
  DeAnna: Hmm.
• 2:11
  DeAnna: And just a lot of screaming and, you know, agony.
• 2:14
  DeAnna: So that began my life.
• 2:16
  DeAnna: That abuse lasted 12 years until the age of 15.
• 2:20
  DeAnna: Um- Oh, wow you can imagine.
• 2:22
  Theresa c roft: No.
• 2:22
  Theresa c roft: That's-
• 2:23
  DeAnna: Yeah, going every weekend, sometimes two to three times a weekend to- Hmm family functions, and it happening.
• 2:31
  DeAnna: And that's why I can't tell you how many times it happened, but it happened- Right through that period, so.
• 2:35
  DeAnna: Oh,
• 2:35
  Theresa c roft: wow.
• 2:36
  DeAnna: So- That was my beginning
• 2:38
  Theresa c roft: that was your beginning, but that was only just the beginning.
• 2:42
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 2:42
  Theresa c roft: As you went through- Your life
• 2:45
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm
• 2:47
  Theresa c roft: You were, had a boyfriend-
• 2:49
  DeAnna: Yes
• 2:50
  Theresa c roft: and he led you to Jesus, is that right?
• 2:52
  DeAnna: Yes, my now husband, Stan.
• 2:55
  DeAnna: Um, I met him 40 years ago actually this year.
• 2:59
  DeAnna: Beautiful.
• 2:59
  DeAnna: We've been married 34.
• 3:01
  Theresa c roft: God.
• 3:01
  DeAnna: And he's the one who led me to the Lord, and he's the one that organized my, um, healing with- Yeah with a therapist.
• 3:11
  Theresa c roft: Right.
• 3:11
  Theresa c roft: Right.
• 3:12
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 3:12
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 3:13
  Theresa c roft: So no matter, um, what your story is of having child abuse, that's, that's n- that seems so normal, but you just didn't have that at age...
• 3:26
  Theresa c roft: What age did something happen to you and you had?
• 3:29
  DeAnna: Age 23 I suffered a stroke.
• 3:32
  DeAnna: Wow.
• 3:32
  DeAnna: And, um, I couldn't...
• 3:34
  DeAnna: I came home, it was two weeks after my wedding, and- Hmm I just fell over.
• 3:39
  DeAnna: We were actually watching my wedding video.
• 3:41
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 3:41
  DeAnna: Long story short, I couldn't speak, I couldn't open my eyes.
• 3:45
  DeAnna: I had no muscle function.
• 3:47
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 3:47
  DeAnna: And, um, I, I was newly saved.
• 3:50
  DeAnna: I was a new Christian, and I, I asked the Lord in my mind...
• 3:54
  DeAnna: I had a lot of peace, though, when I suffered the stroke.
• 3:56
  DeAnna: I could hear everything going on around me.
• 3:58
  DeAnna: I remember my s- husband putting me in the truck, and my dad, and driving me to the ER.
• 4:03
  DeAnna: But when I was in the MRI tunnel, I, I knew they were putting me in it, but I said,"Lord, if you're here and you hear me-
• 4:10
  Theresa c roft: Uh-huh
• 4:10
  DeAnna: I need to know if I'm gonna be okay." And in one instance, my eyes opened-
• 4:15
  Theresa c roft: Uh-huh
• 4:15
  DeAnna: and I saw my father in the window of the waiting room, and he smiled at me, and then I closed my eyes.
• 4:20
  DeAnna: And I, I didn't open my eyes for another 72 hours.
• 4:23
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 4:23
  DeAnna: I couldn't speak.
• 4:24
  DeAnna: Hmm.
• 4:25
  DeAnna: So yeah, that was pretty traumatic.
• 4:28
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 4:28
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 4:28
  Theresa c roft: So were you ever...
• 4:29
  Theresa c roft: You said you had peace, but were you ever kind of mad at God that this happened to you?
• 4:35
  DeAnna: Y- there wa- there was a time in my teenage years, because it's a, it's in a time of your life where you don't have a whole lot of, um, you're growing through things.
• 4:44
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 4:44
  DeAnna: And I didn't have a whole lot of, um, instruction or care around what happened to me.
• 4:50
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 4:50
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 4:51
  DeAnna: It was pushed under the carpet and, and, um, a- in fairness to my mother, she thought she took care of it that day.
• 4:58
  Theresa c roft: Hmm.
• 4:59
  DeAnna: But in my mind as a little girl, you keep bringing me back, it was a very confusing upbringing for me in relationship with my mother.
• 5:06
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 5:07
  Theresa c roft: I can see that.
• 5:07
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Theresa c roft: That, that's so hard when...
• 5:11
  Theresa c roft: That's just so difficult.
• 5:13
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 5:13
  Theresa c roft: And-
• 5:13
  DeAnna: Yeah
• 5:14
  Theresa c roft: so you went on, and I love, it's, it's, it's your book, the foundation of your book is each step of the way you did something.
• 5:26
  Theresa c roft: You chose.
• 5:26
  Theresa c roft: Each...
• 5:26
  Theresa c roft: I chose who
• 5:28
  DeAnna: I wanted to be coming out- Hmm of the situation.
• 5:32
  Theresa c roft: Hmm.
• 5:33
  DeAnna: And even if I failed, I would ask the Lord,"Okay, Lord, what are my choices after the failure?"
• 5:39
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 5:40
  DeAnna: So meaning I gave myself grace- For the time that I was young and didn't understand things, I gave myself grace-
• 5:48
  Theresa c roft: Yeah
• 5:49
  DeAnna: when I didn't understand.
• 5:51
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 5:51
  DeAnna: And so I chose to hold myself and the, the little child in me with high regard to help her heal.
• 5:59
  Theresa c roft: That's so good, yeah.
• 6:00
  Theresa c roft: Yeah,
• 6:01
  DeAnna: yeah.
• 6:01
  Theresa c roft: And, you know, choice is everything.
• 6:04
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 6:05
  Theresa c roft: You, you have a choice to say yes or no to things.
• 6:08
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 6:08
  Theresa c roft: But I've learned when you say yes when it's really a no, you lose a part of yourself, and it sends a signal to your brain you can't trust yourself.
• 6:17
  Theresa c roft: So you went through this choosing- Yes God's truth was the foundation of your book, but w- take us through a story of where you had to choose, whether it was to forgive or-
• 6:27
  DeAnna: Okay uh,
• 6:28
  Theresa c roft: I mean, you got a mountain of stuff right here.
• 6:31
  DeAnna: Yes, and I'm just gonna go straight...
• 6:33
  DeAnna: I mean, there's a lot in there, but I'm gonna go to this one pivotal moment.
• 6:35
  DeAnna: My grandmother- Okay passed away.
• 6:37
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 6:38
  DeAnna: And so I called my mother and I said,"Your sibling has more rights to be there than me.
• 6:44
  DeAnna: I'm good to stay home, but you need to let him know." And she wept and said,"You, y- you know, I'm, I'm so grateful for you.
• 6:54
  DeAnna: I will take care of it." I said, because, you know, it was my grandmother but it was his mother first, and, um, he went, went to the funeral.
• 7:00
  DeAnna: Long story short, we were in the, we were in a home, uh, my family dinner at a home, and he was in the garage sobbing.
• 7:07
  DeAnna: S- and my mom walked out, and she hadn't seen him for a number of years.
• 7:11
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 7:12
  DeAnna: And there was a puddle of water on the floor, and she thought it was the cooler leaking, but it was his tears.
• 7:17
  DeAnna: Okay.
• 7:17
  DeAnna: And so she, with compassion, went up to her sibling and just said,"Are you crying because of Mom?" And he turned to her and said,"No, I'm crying because of what I did to Deanna."
• 7:30
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 7:31
  DeAnna: So that led to, uh, and, and I'm gonna be delicate how I say this, but what started in a back room ended in a back room.
• 7:40
  DeAnna: Um, my husband orchestrated for me and my brothers to be there that same day, and then my mom and then an aunt and uncle to be there with him,'cause he felt like he needed support, too.
• 7:51
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 7:51
  DeAnna: And I gave him the gospel.
• 7:53
  DeAnna: I gave him the gospel.
• 7:55
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm.
• 7:55
  DeAnna: My brother gave him the gospel.
• 7:57
  DeAnna: Forgiveness was given.
• 7:59
  DeAnna: Uh, reconciliation was not.
• 8:00
  DeAnna: Those are separate things, meaning- That's right I would never pick back up with a, you know, relationship, but- Right forgiveness for me.
• 8:07
  DeAnna: And then, um, years later, I, I heard that he did make a profession of faith, and so I just- Wow have to trust what I'm told.
• 8:17
  DeAnna: And, uh, that was a pivotal moment for me because it also showed family members, um, the heart of the Lord.
• 8:25
  Theresa c roft: Yeah, no doubt.
• 8:27
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 8:27
  Theresa c roft: So has, was forgiveness a pr- has it, forgiveness for that been a process for you?
• 8:33
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 8:34
  DeAnna: Um-
• 8:35
  Theresa c roft: Can, can you tell us a little bit about that process?
• 8:37
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 8:37
  Theresa c roft: 'Cause I think a lot, I think this needs to be heard.
• 8:39
  DeAnna: Yes, so the woman that God gave me, her name was Jodi, uh, when I first became a Christian, and she was also a therapist, and she walked me through- defining what forgiveness was and what it wasn't.
• 8:52
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 8:52
  DeAnna: And a process doesn't mean, okay, you're forgiven and all done.
• 8:56
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 8:56
  DeAnna: It's like I'm going to allow myself and choose to not be tethered to the person who harmed me anymore, and tethered to God, and let him take care of it.
• 9:07
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 9:08
  DeAnna: Um, so I had to learn that, but it wasn't...
• 9:11
  DeAnna: It was a continual decision.
• 9:12
  DeAnna: It wasn't a one and done.
• 9:13
  DeAnna: Like-
• 9:14
  Theresa c roft: Sure
• 9:14
  DeAnna: the, the scenario happened where, you know, I gave...
• 9:18
  DeAnna: He, he named the sin.
• 9:19
  DeAnna: He said what he did in front of witnesses, asked for forgiveness of me, my siblings, and my mom, and my husband, and so that was really great.
• 9:27
  DeAnna: Um, however, any time there was another function, like I, I only see him at weddings and, and funerals, I have to gear up with my husband's help and the Lord-
• 9:36
  Theresa c roft: Sure
• 9:37
  DeAnna: to remember my choices going in, that I don't have to shake hands.
• 9:42
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 9:42
  DeAnna: I don't need to say hello.
• 9:43
  DeAnna: And so it is a process, and I think you have to be gracious with yourself.
• 9:47
  Theresa c roft: You didn't need any more triggers going into that.
• 9:50
  Theresa c roft: So I think everybody- Mm-hmm needs a Jodi.
• 9:53
  DeAnna: Oh, yes.
• 9:54
  DeAnna: I
• 9:54
  Theresa c roft: think- Because I just am so...
• 9:57
  Theresa c roft: She really gave you room.
• 9:59
  DeAnna: She gave me a lot of room
• 10:00
  Theresa c roft: without judgment.
• 10:02
  Theresa c roft: Was she just so good, and, you know,'cause what you...
• 10:05
  Theresa c roft: Just not just the, uh, not just the sexual abuse, and then you also had spiritual abuse.
• 10:12
  DeAnna: I did.
• 10:13
  DeAnna: And
• 10:13
  Theresa c roft: did Jodi help you through the spiritual abuse too?
• 10:15
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 10:16
  DeAnna: Yes, she did.
• 10:17
  DeAnna: Um- Wow she was wonderful.
• 10:18
  DeAnna: She gave me room, um, room to be faithful in my honesty to the Lord in front of her, meaning God already knows everything, so why do we hesitate-
• 10:29
  Theresa c roft: Yeah
• 10:30
  DeAnna: to say what we're really feeling?
• 10:32
  Theresa c roft: Mm.
• 10:32
  DeAnna: Um, and that was a beautiful thing, because Jodi actually showed me the grace of God.
• 10:38
  Theresa c roft: Wow, I love that.
• 10:40
  Theresa c roft: I think, uh, and y- you're, you're a good fr- you're, you're a friend with Jodi now, aren't you?
• 10:45
  Theresa c roft: You know, in the- Yeah, I've been...
• 10:46
  Theresa c roft: 34 years context of friendship, as context of friendship, I think most healing in a counseling session happens.
• 10:53
  Theresa c roft: I have a friend who said that.
• 10:54
  Theresa c roft: I'm like,"That makes sense." And- Yeah and I just, I think we need to step out and get help when something like this happens.
• 11:04
  Theresa c roft: Now, this is delicate because I've seen so much of it, but how did you get through the spiritual abuse?
• 11:11
  Theresa c roft: People don't think there's such a thing, but there is.
• 11:14
  DeAnna: There is.
• 11:15
  DeAnna: Um, a friend of mine gave me a book, first of all.
• 11:18
  DeAnna: Um-
• 11:18
  Theresa c roft: Okay
• 11:19
  DeAnna: and I had...
• 11:19
  DeAnna: You know, I'm, I'm an investigator, so that's what I do, but I read the book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by, um, David Johnson.
• 11:27
  DeAnna: Okay.
• 11:27
  DeAnna: And there was also a co-author.
• 11:28
  DeAnna: Gotcha.
• 11:29
  DeAnna: And as I was reading it I was like,"Oh, that's what that was.
• 11:33
  DeAnna: Oh, that's what that was." But what happened was- The leader, um, started using the word of God against me and other parishioners- Hmm in, in the sense of trying to control.
• 11:46
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 11:46
  DeAnna: And yeah, and so when I brought it to my husband and, and Jody, they explained this is not actually biblical.
• 11:53
  DeAnna: This is manipulation that comes from the adversary.
• 11:56
  Theresa c roft: Right.
• 11:57
  DeAnna: And so we did confront that as well.
• 11:58
  DeAnna: I made a choice to confront that as well.
• 12:00
  DeAnna: And-
• 12:00
  Theresa c roft: Wow, that's powerful
• 12:02
  DeAnna: yeah, and, um, departed from that, that church organization and went on to another one, but, uh, the Lord revealed everything, uh, read it- real- revealed everything one year after the day I left-
• 12:15
  Theresa c roft: Wow
• 12:16
  DeAnna: to be grouped.
• 12:17
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 12:17
  DeAnna: So spiritual abuse is where they, they confuse you about what the word of God really says- Yeah and what God really means.
• 12:24
  Theresa c roft: It's so true.
• 12:26
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 12:26
  Theresa c roft: And it makes you f- start doubting yourself and doubting the word, and, and then they play lots of mind games on you, and it's just not right.
• 12:34
  Theresa c roft: I mean, it's- Yeah it's, it's, it's in the church.
• 12:37
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 12:38
  Theresa c roft: People may not wanna, wanna close their eyes, but So once again, uh, you see the foundation of your book that you had to make a choice about the spiritual abuse.
• 12:47
  Theresa c roft: Uh-huh.
• 12:47
  Theresa c roft: You had to make a choice to forgive.
• 12:49
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 12:50
  Theresa c roft: So someone's saying, well, how do you do that, Deanna?
• 12:54
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 12:54
  Theresa c roft: How do you really get to the bedrock of choice?
• 12:58
  Theresa c roft: I think it's in your book, but can you help someone with that?
• 13:00
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 13:01
  DeAnna: Yeah, I think that there comes a point, a pivotal moment, where you have to decide,"I am going to speak to you, Lord, about this."
• 13:09
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 13:10
  DeAnna: I want you, Lord, to choose the person you have to help me walk through this,"'cause I didn't have the energy or the I just didn't ha- I had the exhaustion when I came to know Christ and didn't know- Yeah how to walk through this, and God brought me Jody when I cried out to the Lord.
• 13:25
  DeAnna: Mm.
• 13:27
  DeAnna: In, in, in asking the Lord to bring you who you need, or maybe they're already in your life
• 13:32
  Theresa c roft: Yeah, but that's good
• 13:33
  DeAnna: Uh-huh, and then,"Lord, make sure they help me.
• 13:38
  DeAnna: Give, give me the options.
• 13:39
  DeAnna: You can choose this or this, and then let me, allow me to process with you what I need to choose that best serves the life you and I have together-" Yeah Lord, because it's our story, Lord.
• 13:48
  DeAnna: You, yours, mine." Yeah.
• 13:49
  DeAnna: And I think trust, if you don't trust yourself, just trust that the Lord is with you, and he will not fail.
• 13:57
  Theresa c roft: That's so good.
• 13:59
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 13:59
  Theresa c roft: I think that's a, that's a s- that's a, your choice is the, is the bridge to transformation.
• 14:06
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 14:07
  Theresa c roft: Someone trusts and, uh, it does help to have those Jodies though, and I- Oh, it sure does I think, uh, in my, my opinion, I think that's the best investment that you can do.
• 14:21
  Theresa c roft: Time and, yeah, money to like- I agree so you, you, you, because you have that help, you speak from your scars, not your wounds.
• 14:29
  Theresa c roft: I mean, you've got some scars, girl.
• 14:31
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 14:32
  DeAnna: You know, your scars will either sink you or soar you like an eagle.
• 14:37
  Theresa c roft: Hmm.
• 14:37
  DeAnna: And I chose, I want to soar.
• 14:39
  DeAnna: I want to make the Lord- Yeah proud.
• 14:42
  DeAnna: Um, and I want...
• 14:43
  DeAnna: I, I, I guess I came to the understanding, too, that Jodie broke this down for me so I can explain it this way, that everything I experienced, the Lord experienced on the cross.
• 14:54
  Theresa c roft: Wow, that's so true.
• 14:56
  DeAnna: And so- We
• 14:56
  Theresa c roft: forget that
• 14:57
  DeAnna: we forget that, I think, that remembrance of he actually knows.
• 15:01
  Theresa c roft: Yeah, that's a piece we, we forget so easily.
• 15:04
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 15:05
  DeAnna: So,
• 15:06
  Theresa c roft: uh, let's say someone's coming to you and let's just go to the abuse, the sexual abuse.
• 15:13
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 15:14
  Theresa c roft: 'Cause, uh, there's a number of people watching this, so- Yeah is there a piece of your story that you could share that, that just help them take the next few steps?
• 15:24
  DeAnna: Piece of my story.
• 15:25
  DeAnna: I think- I, I think you, everyone...
• 15:30
  DeAnna: Okay, I'll say it this way.
• 15:32
  DeAnna: People ask me,"Who knows you better on this earth than anybody?" Well, if you're talking about a human person, it's me.
• 15:38
  Theresa c roft: Mm.
• 15:38
  DeAnna: I know myself better than anybody, than the Lord.
• 15:40
  DeAnna: So you know yourself better than anybody, so trust that you know if you're broken, and you know if you're struggling.
• 15:47
  DeAnna: You know that you need the Lord, and you need somebody.
• 15:50
  DeAnna: And, and just settle that, and then start from there.
• 15:53
  Theresa c roft: That's really good.
• 15:54
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm.
• 15:55
  Theresa c roft: Be honest with yourself.
• 15:56
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 15:56
  Theresa c roft: And, and that makes the way for the next step, whatever that is, whether it's a Jodi or it's...
• 16:02
  Theresa c roft: You know, you gotta, you even gotta be careful where you get help because- Yes of what the church heard, so.
• 16:09
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 16:10
  Theresa c roft: But there's help out there, so.
• 16:12
  Theresa c roft: There is.
• 16:12
  Theresa c roft: I'm not saying there's not, but, uh, I, I personally, if I hadn't found some neuroscience help with under Dr.
• 16:19
  Theresa c roft: Caroline Leaf, with a facilitator- Yes you know, I don't know where I'd be, you know?
• 16:24
  DeAnna: I-'Cause
• 16:25
  Theresa c roft: I- I
• 16:25
  DeAnna: know exactly what you're talking about.
• 16:27
  DeAnna: I follow her.
• 16:28
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 16:28
  DeAnna: And the answer is yes.
• 16:29
  Theresa c roft: Yes, and then the, it's like science is trying to catch up with the Bible.
• 16:35
  Theresa c roft: The Bible's, if you find something that the neuroscience research- Mm-hmm you'll see it in the Bible.
• 16:40
  Theresa c roft: And basically, uh- Mm-hmm you know, the rewiring of your brain, the deconstruction, the reconstruction.
• 16:45
  Theresa c roft: Yes.
• 16:47
  Theresa c roft: Sounds like Jodi knows a lot of that because she really worked on your mind.
• 16:52
  DeAnna: She did.
• 16:52
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 16:52
  DeAnna: She helped me to unlearn thought processes and perspectives- Mm-hmm that were not true.
• 16:58
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 16:59
  DeAnna: And learn the ones that were- Yeah that served my life according to the Bible, like you-
• 17:04
  Theresa c roft: That's so good were just
• 17:04
  DeAnna: talking about.
• 17:05
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 17:05
  Theresa c roft: So when you wrote that book, can I ask you, did, did that c- that come from journaling?
• 17:10
  Theresa c roft: Are you a journaler?
• 17:12
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 17:12
  DeAnna: Um, if I were to pass away, I have tubs and tubs- of journals from my teenage years to now.
• 17:20
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 17:20
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 17:20
  DeAnna: And I'm, I'm going to be 58 years old, so.
• 17:21
  Theresa c roft: Oh, you look so young, but yeah.
• 17:22
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 17:23
  DeAnna: Well, thank you, but I, I told my son-
• 17:25
  Theresa c roft: Yeah
• 17:26
  DeAnna: "Sorry, not sorry.
• 17:27
  DeAnna: It's your mom's life." But yeah, I, I journal.
• 17:30
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 17:30
  Theresa c roft: That's, I think, I'm just, so I think that's such a healthy thing.
• 17:34
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 17:34
  Theresa c roft: Uh, I journal.
• 17:35
  Theresa c roft: I used to have boxes of them, but, uh, I couldn't see so I went to Evernote.
• 17:40
  Theresa c roft: Have you heard of Evernote?
• 17:41
  Theresa c roft: So I- Yes, I'm there
• 17:42
  DeAnna: too with you.
• 17:42
  Theresa c roft: I still, I don't, I know it's good to hold your Bible, but I was bl- almost legally blind, and I finally got, right before my husband died, I finally got cataracts.
• 17:53
  Theresa c roft: I'm like,"Oh, I can see." Yeah.
• 17:54
  Theresa c roft: But, but I say all that to say- Every morning I, I'll go through like YouVersion and something will hit me.
• 18:02
  DeAnna: Yes.
• 18:02
  Theresa c roft: And I'll write it down.
• 18:04
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm.
• 18:04
  Theresa c roft: But then I learned that when you write something, even if it seems insignificant every day, Deanna, that you're actually can storyboard, it actually can spark a story.
• 18:16
  Theresa c roft: Yes.
• 18:16
  Theresa c roft: And I also think they said the closest thing is your heart when you write, I don't write, except when I do medical, it goes to your heart.
• 18:24
  Theresa c roft: Yes.
• 18:24
  Theresa c roft: So, uh, you're like, I always like to ask if you journal because-
• 18:29
  DeAnna: I do
• 18:30
  Theresa c roft: cause you know what?
• 18:31
  Theresa c roft: I learned that, that the fights, the wins, the war in your voice, God told me this like two years after my husband died, I said How did I win that war in that d- environment?
• 18:42
  Theresa c roft: And he said,"Because you stayed in my presence, and you created the way I created." So how I created out of my journals- Yeah I would hear God speak, and I, two books later, although I took them off.
• 18:56
  Theresa c roft: So that, I'm saying that it, I, I, I think women like to journal.
• 19:00
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 19:00
  Theresa c roft: Don't take it as insignificant, right?
• 19:03
  DeAnna: Right.
• 19:03
  DeAnna: It's very significant.
• 19:05
  DeAnna: It gives you opportunity to be honest with yourself and with the Lord, and then once you have that there, he can speak back to you.
• 19:12
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 19:13
  Theresa c roft: Do you think that was a much, a part of your healing as much as it was, you know, Jodi's influence?
• 19:16
  Theresa c roft: Yes, because I, I didn't know Jodi until I was
• 19:22
  DeAnna: 23.
• 19:23
  Theresa c roft: Okay.
• 19:24
  DeAnna: So I was journaling-
• 19:26
  Theresa c roft: Wow
• 19:27
  DeAnna: starting at age 11.
• 19:28
  Theresa c roft: I love that.
• 19:29
  DeAnna: And I think the Lord, you know, even though, even though I, I say that the day I accepted the Lord was November of 1990- Yeah I believe as a child crying out to the Lord-
• 19:40
  Theresa c roft: Mm
• 19:40
  DeAnna: sometimes he, he does answer that, and you don't know what that is, but you know- Yeah you have a relationship.
• 19:45
  DeAnna: I believe it was sooner, but I always go with the date that I-
• 19:48
  Theresa c roft: Sure
• 19:49
  DeAnna: you know, uh, but yeah.
• 19:50
  Theresa c roft: Well, what you were going through-
• 19:52
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm
• 19:53
  Theresa c roft: how, the, I mean, it gives this example of how Jesus, very tender to the p- children.
• 19:59
  Theresa c roft: Very.
• 19:59
  Theresa c roft: Like, oh, they're bothering you, master.
• 20:01
  Theresa c roft: No, let the children be.
• 20:03
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 20:04
  Theresa c roft: And I- So I, I, I appreciate that with the note on journaling.
• 20:09
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 20:10
  Theresa c roft: So you got, do you have boxes and boxes?
• 20:12
  DeAnna: Oh, yeah, I have tubs and tu- plastic tubs and tubs.
• 20:16
  DeAnna: But you know, I, I enjoy that.
• 20:20
  Theresa c roft: I do, too.
• 20:21
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 20:21
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 20:22
  Theresa c roft: And then now I have chapters on chapters on chapters in Evernote.
• 20:25
  Theresa c roft: Mm-hmm.
• 20:27
  DeAnna: Yes, yes, yes.
• 20:28
  Theresa c roft: I used to have the boxes, but I'm- Yeah originally from the Pacific Northwest, and that's a long ways to Atlanta.
• 20:35
  Theresa c roft: So eventually I, like- Yeah I, I, and I, you know, give them to my mom, and now my mom doesn't think real well, so I'm like,"Okay, I just gotta stick to my Evernote then."
• 20:43
  DeAnna: Yeah, I understand.
• 20:45
  Theresa c roft: And that's what saved me in the midst of abuse.
• 20:48
  Theresa c roft: Wow.
• 20:48
  Theresa c roft: Okay?
• 20:48
  Theresa c roft: It wasn't physical abuse.
• 20:50
  DeAnna: Right.
• 20:51
  Theresa c roft: So someone needs to hear that.
• 20:53
  Theresa c roft: Okay?
• 20:54
  Theresa c roft: They say,"Well, I haven't had childhood sexual assault."
• 20:57
  DeAnna: Well-
• 20:57
  Theresa c roft: But you, but then it's, you
• 21:00
  DeAnna: There's, there's mental and emotional abuse.
• 21:02
  DeAnna: Thank
• 21:02
  Theresa c roft: you.
• 21:03
  Theresa c roft: And, and- That's
• 21:03
  DeAnna: what I was trying
• 21:03
  Theresa c roft: to say,
• 21:04
  DeAnna: yeah and, and that goes right along with all abuses because it reshapes your, your thought process, which has to do- Yeah with your mental health.
• 21:12
  Theresa c roft: Yes.
• 21:12
  DeAnna: Um, and then that affects your emotional health.
• 21:15
  DeAnna: So, you know, spiritual abuse is actually playing with your mind-
• 21:20
  Theresa c roft: Yes.
• 21:21
  DeAnna: So much, yeah first and foremost.
• 21:22
  DeAnna: If I can change your mind, I can change your being, and I can change your outcome.
• 21:26
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 21:27
  DeAnna: And, um, the Lord spoke to me about that, and that's where I started learning, you know, truth and, and identifying-
• 21:35
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 21:37
  Theresa c roft: Do you know- What- Do you know the word choose is a very neuroscience-backed word?
• 21:44
  DeAnna: Yes, I
• 21:45
  Theresa c roft: do
• 21:45
  DeAnna: now.
• 21:46
  Theresa c roft: And, and I mean, I have, I have it in my, in my ears.
• 21:50
  Theresa c roft: My, my f- my f- my Jodi, she'd say,"Theresa, you get to choose what you think." Yeah.
• 21:56
  Theresa c roft: I said,"Okay," and then I'd sell it when I was struggling.
• 21:58
  Theresa c roft: "Who told you that?" Mm-hmm.
• 22:02
  Theresa c roft: "You get to choose the right thing." Yes.
• 22:02
  Theresa c roft: So I hope someone's enjoying all that because I, uh, you know, well-
• 22:06
  DeAnna: I, well, Theresa, with that, I think, um, I'm glad you said that because I didn't know, I, I kept saying,"I'm stuck.
• 22:15
  DeAnna: I'm stuck." And Jodi said- Mm-hmm"No, stuck means you're just committed to a thought process or perspective that doesn't serve your life or the Lord." Oh,
• 22:24
  Theresa c roft: so much.
• 22:25
  DeAnna: You're not stuck.
• 22:26
  DeAnna: So when I had that definition of stuck, I chose,"Oh, I'm not stuck."
• 22:31
  Theresa c roft: Choose, yeah.
• 22:32
  Theresa c roft: You- That's why I made my, uh, mod- my brand Stuck No More.
• 22:37
  DeAnna: I love it.
• 22:38
  Theresa c roft: I say that to myself, stuck no more.
• 22:39
  Theresa c roft: I,
• 22:40
  DeAnna: I know.
• 22:40
  DeAnna: I saw that and I thought,"Oh, this is good.
• 22:43
  DeAnna: This is gonna be good." Yeah.
• 22:45
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 22:45
  DeAnna: Well- Because you changed your mindset according to what the Lord-
• 22:48
  Theresa c roft: Yeah
• 22:49
  DeAnna: needed it to be.
• 22:50
  Theresa c roft: And I'm older than you, and-
• 22:53
  DeAnna: I still can't believe that
• 22:54
  Theresa c roft: and it's so, well, it, I'm still going through it.
• 22:57
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 22:57
  Theresa c roft: I wouldn't be here today if I didn't have a Jodi and someone else.
• 23:02
  DeAnna: Yeah.
• 23:02
  Theresa c roft: So I want, we wanna be hope to someone listening, both of us, our stories.
• 23:07
  Theresa c roft: I mean, I'm not telling you my whole story, but this isn't- Right my story time.
• 23:10
  Theresa c roft: But, uh, uh, if anything, if there's anything that you remember is God gave you the ability to choose, and you might just have to choose.
• 23:20
  Theresa c roft: Tell me, Deanne, they might just have to choose,"Yeah, that happened, but I can do something about it." What would be the strongest choice someone could make today?
• 23:29
  DeAnna: The strongest choice is to acknowledge, choose to acknowledge,"Yes, this is true about what happened, but it's just a puzzle piece in my life, and I get to choose how I talk about it." Mm-hmm, yeah.
• 23:40
  DeAnna: "I get to choose how I think about it.
• 23:42
  DeAnna: I get to choose what I do with it to minister to people." So good,
• 23:45
  Theresa c roft: yeah.
• 23:45
  DeAnna: I get this puzzle piece of this big life that God gave me, and I get to choose how to glorify him in it."
• 23:53
  Theresa c roft: Yes, and if you haven't made the choice to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, you know, it says in the Word that,"God demonstrates his love for us- Yeah.
• 24:01
  Theresa c roft: Yeah in this, that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." Mm-hmm.
• 24:05
  Theresa c roft: So I, I, I thought we just, that was spontaneous, and I think that would be- Yeah Deanna's heart out of sharing some delicate things was say,"Hey, make the choice." Yeah.
• 24:13
  Theresa c roft: One final word for us.
• 24:16
  DeAnna: One final word.
• 24:18
  DeAnna: Just remember, attach yourself to the decisions that God makes for you, not the decisions that other people make for
• 24:25
  Theresa c roft: you.
• 24:26
  DeAnna: Mm.
• 24:26
  DeAnna: So good.
• 24:26
  DeAnna: God's decisions are always best.
• 24:29
  Theresa c roft: Ah, so good.
• 24:30
  Theresa c roft: So where can they get your book, Choice Maker?
• 24:32
  DeAnna: Now, I chose to have my book on my website, not Amazon, so I can- Okay keep in contact with my readers.
• 24:37
  Theresa c roft: Nice.
• 24:38
  Theresa c roft: So what's your website?
• 24:39
  DeAnna: My website is, you can, uh, deannaKeith.com.
• 24:43
  DeAnna: Very simple.
• 24:44
  Theresa c roft: That is.
• 24:44
  DeAnna: Or if you Google the book Choice Maker, it'll pop up on Google.
• 24:48
  Theresa c roft: Good for you.
• 24:49
  Theresa c roft: Yeah.
• 24:50
  Theresa c roft: Deanna Keith.
• 24:51
  Theresa c roft: And that's kind of cool.
• 24:52
  Theresa c roft: I heard you, you want to co- be in contact with those who buy it.
• 24:55
  Theresa c roft: That's really-
• 24:56
  DeAnna: Mm-hmm.
• 24:57
  Theresa c roft: I hope if I could say, say that's very noble of you.
• 25:00
  Theresa c roft: Yeah,
• 25:00
  DeAnna: yeah.
• 25:00
  DeAnna: 'Cause
• 25:01
  Theresa c roft: it's a lot easier to go to Amazon.
• 25:02
  Theresa c roft: No,
• 25:03
  DeAnna: I wrote it for impact, not commerce, and the Lord has blessed it, and I- Oh,
• 25:07
  Theresa c roft: so good
• 25:07
  DeAnna: then men and women that-
• 25:09
  Theresa c roft: So good
• 25:10
  DeAnna: minister too.
• 25:11
  Theresa c roft: And I'll, I'll leave that in the show notes of this, and, uh, just a delight.
• 25:17
  Theresa c roft: I, I, I'm just delighted to get to know you.
• 25:20
  Theresa c roft: I feel like I know you already with your story, and thank you for making the Calling Session Table very, very impactful.
• 25:27
  Theresa c roft: Thank you.
• 25:28
  DeAnna: Thank you.
• 25:29
  Theresa c roft: All right.
• 25:30
  Theresa c roft: That's today's Calling Table Session with Deanna Keith.
• 25:34
  Theresa c roft: If her story moved you, do two things.
• 25:37
  Theresa c roft: Follow her.
• 25:38
  Theresa c roft: Go find her at deannaKeith.com.
• 25:40
  Theresa c roft: Buy her book, and then share this episode with the woman who came to mind while you were listening.
• 25:47
  Theresa c roft: Some stories are not for scrolling past.
• 25:51
  Theresa c roft: I'll talk to you in the next episode of the Stuck No More Voices podcast.
• 25:55
  Theresa c roft: Thank you for listening.