Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / How to Encourage Our Children
Transcript
- 0:31SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
- 0:35SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about how to encourage our children.
- 0:40SPEAKER_00: First of all, it's important to create a positive environment at home by using words of affirmation and genuine praise.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: When our children feel valued and appreciated for who they are as individuals, they're more likely to develop a healthy self-esteem and a positive outlook on life.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: You can start out when they're young, praising them for doing the right things and for obeying you.
- 1:06SPEAKER_00: Catch them being good and tell them what they did that was positive.
- 1:10SPEAKER_00: For example, thanks for picking up your toys.
- 1:14SPEAKER_00: Wow, good job on that test.
- 1:17SPEAKER_00: I noticed you made your bed without me reminding you.
- 1:20SPEAKER_00: Good job.
- 1:22SPEAKER_00: I could tell you were angry, but I appreciated how you chose your words wisely.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: One of the most important ways to encourage our children is to focus on their strengths and efforts rather than solely on their achievements.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: By acknowledging their hard work, determination, and progress, we can instill a sense of confidence and self-worth in them.
- 1:47SPEAKER_00: Throughout the day, try to offer at least twice as many positive comments than corrections.
- 1:55SPEAKER_00: You'll be surprised how much more your kids will listen to you when they know a lot of what you're going to say will be positive.
- 2:03SPEAKER_00: But remember that the praise needs to be specific.
- 2:08SPEAKER_00: Don't use comparative words or comments.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: For example, don't say things like, I love how you always get the highest score in class, or I'm so proud that you got the most goals or baskets of the night.
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: You're way better than your other teammates.
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: As you give positives, think about what you can encourage in your children that will help them develop godly character, purpose, and passion in their life.
- 2:41SPEAKER_00: What are their unique character traits?
- 2:44SPEAKER_00: What are the ones you see in your child?
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: Here are some examples.
- 2:49SPEAKER_00: I love how God created you to think outside the box.
- 2:54SPEAKER_00: God gave you such a helpful spirit.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: You always look like you're having fun after church stacking chairs and cleaning up.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: I love that you invited the new girl to your birthday party.
- 3:07SPEAKER_00: I think God will use that to help her feel more connected at school.
- 3:12SPEAKER_00: I know you had a lot of anxiety about doing that research paper, but you did a great job staying focused and getting it finished.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: Another way parents can encourage their children is by giving them more freedom to make their own decisions about things in their life, especially as they get older and enter their preteen and teen years.
- 3:35SPEAKER_00: By giving them more freedom in their choices, we as parents are saying that we trust them.
- 3:42SPEAKER_00: For example, because I saw how well you handled yourself in that situation and I know I can trust you, I'm allowing you to have that sleepover or go to that party, etc.
- 3:53SPEAKER_00: etc.
- 3:54SPEAKER_00: Finding the right balance and giving them freedom can be difficult.
- 4:00SPEAKER_00: And there are times they will fail, but encourage them when they do, rather than scolding them.
- 4:07SPEAKER_00: Talk about what they could have done differently.
- 4:10SPEAKER_00: If they need to ask forgiveness from you, from God or someone else, encourage them to do so.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: But keep letting them know you trust them and that you know they will learn from their failures and from their failure this time.
- 4:24SPEAKER_00: That encouragement and trust from you will keep them focused on doing the right thing.
- 4:30SPEAKER_00: Most of all, trust your kids to the Lord.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: Pray through the decisions to give them incrementally more freedom as you see them becoming more responsible.
- 4:42SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're going to be talking about another effective way to encourage your children by practicing active listening with your children.
- 4:51SPEAKER_00: Be sure to tune in for next week's Five Minute Parenting Podcast.