Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 2025 Rebrand & Glow Up Day 10: The grass is greener where you water it

Transcript

2025 Rebrand & Glow Up Day 10: The grass is greener where you water it · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:15
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the tenth and final
0:18
Speaker 1: day of our ten day reset glow Up. We are
0:23
Speaker 1: ready to hit the ground running this year and pretty
0:26
Speaker 1: much every year after that if you just keep refreshing
0:31
Speaker 1: this ten days and revisiting and you know, keeping it
0:34
Speaker 1: top of mind. This is the last day. So I
0:36
Speaker 1: thought I would wrap up the tenth day with one
0:39
Speaker 1: of my favorite sayings and like a reminder of how
0:43
Speaker 1: you want to approach things in your life, and that
0:45
Speaker 1: is the grass is greener where you water it, Okay.
0:50
Speaker 1: So I want you to be consciously aware of where
0:53
Speaker 1: is it that you are placing your attention, your intention,
0:58
Speaker 1: your energy with. And this is where it comes to
1:01
Speaker 1: like people, thoughts, actions, behaviors, all of that, okay, because
1:08
Speaker 1: if you are I'm going to give a very good
1:10
Speaker 1: analogy in the dating scene in a second. But at
1:13
Speaker 1: the end of the day, if you're always thinking that
1:16
Speaker 1: something is kind of you know, oh, that's better over there,
1:19
Speaker 1: that's better over there, no matter how good the thing
1:22
Speaker 1: in front of you is, if your awareness is somewhere else,
1:24
Speaker 1: you're just not going to appreciate it as much, or
1:27
Speaker 1: you're not going to be aware enough about it. For
1:29
Speaker 1: you to enjoy it. Okay. I saw this TikTok that
1:34
Speaker 1: this girl had put up and she had moved from
1:38
Speaker 1: London to I don't know where she had moved, but
1:41
Speaker 1: she was like, ah, when I was in London, I
1:43
Speaker 1: didn't like all these things. I felt cold at this that.
1:45
Speaker 1: And then she moved somewhere that was like warmer to
1:50
Speaker 1: study somewhere else. I don't know where, And she said,
1:53
Speaker 1: you know, it's so weird because here I was hating
1:56
Speaker 1: where I was. Now I've moved to this place that
1:58
Speaker 1: I thought i'd love, and now all I'm doing is
1:59
Speaker 1: missing being back home and missing you know, going to
2:01
Speaker 1: pubs with my friends and whatever. And this is kind
2:04
Speaker 1: of a thing where it feels like the grass is greener.
2:06
Speaker 1: On the other side. You literally spend ages trying to
2:08
Speaker 1: get out for one place. You get to a new place,
2:10
Speaker 1: then you're thinking about this other place. It's like, where
2:13
Speaker 1: am I going to put my energy? Where am I
2:16
Speaker 1: going to really feel that this is what my life
2:19
Speaker 1: is and this is the now, this is the today.
2:21
Speaker 1: I can't always be living in the future in the past,
2:23
Speaker 1: thinking how can I change this? How can I improve this?
2:26
Speaker 1: Because the best way to improve something is to be
2:30
Speaker 1: nurturing something. It's not being like I hate this so much,
2:33
Speaker 1: I've got to go I hate this so much. Yes,
2:35
Speaker 1: identify things that aren't working for you like we did yesterday,
2:38
Speaker 1: and don't bring them into what you're doing now if
2:41
Speaker 1: you can avoid it, Like, don't be dredging up things
2:43
Speaker 1: from the past and bringing them into now. But to
2:45
Speaker 1: be sitting here with the life you have right now
2:48
Speaker 1: and always thinking that the grass is greener on the
2:50
Speaker 1: other side is going to make you feel like nothing
2:52
Speaker 1: that you're ever in is good enough. And when you
2:55
Speaker 1: make that change, then all of a sudden, all the
2:57
Speaker 1: things from the life of now starts to look appear.
3:00
Speaker 1: And the reason for that is because we will fixate
3:03
Speaker 1: when something is uncomfortable or difficult or hard, and instead
3:07
Speaker 1: of thinking, Okay, how can I like be in this,
3:09
Speaker 1: work through it, appreciate what I've got in the moment,
3:11
Speaker 1: it's easier to be like, fuck this, this is really hard.
3:15
Speaker 1: That used to be so much better, That used to
3:17
Speaker 1: be so much easier. We do it with our past
3:19
Speaker 1: as well. We look at our past through these rose
3:21
Speaker 1: colored lenses being like, oh my god, but it was
3:23
Speaker 1: so good then, it was so this, But we forget
3:25
Speaker 1: all the things we used to complain about back then.
3:28
Speaker 1: You know, we forget that we used to like wish
3:31
Speaker 1: to finish high school. We couldn't wait to finish union,
3:33
Speaker 1: we couldn't wait to get out of that job, we
3:34
Speaker 1: couldn't wait to be able to be more independent and
3:36
Speaker 1: start paying rent. And now we're complaining about it. Okay,
3:40
Speaker 1: So I want you to be like I don't want
3:42
Speaker 1: to be living like that. I don't want to be
3:44
Speaker 1: living in a life where everything outside of my reality
3:48
Speaker 1: is the dream. I want this to be the dream.
3:51
Speaker 1: And while I might not have achieved everything that I
3:53
Speaker 1: want right now, and it's an ever it's an ever
3:55
Speaker 1: extending thing. I think you never achieve everything that you
3:58
Speaker 1: want because by the time you get closer to it,
4:00
Speaker 1: you've set your sites even higher and higher. So you've
4:03
Speaker 1: got to be like, I'm in a state of constantly growing,
4:05
Speaker 1: constantly achieving things, but always wanting something new or different
4:08
Speaker 1: or more growth. But how do I make it that
4:12
Speaker 1: I am watering what I have right now? Because when
4:15
Speaker 1: I'm watering what I have right now, it allows it
4:17
Speaker 1: to grow. I'm not chopping and changing and chopping and
4:19
Speaker 1: changing and chopping and changing and never setting down some roots,
4:22
Speaker 1: whether it's emotionally or physically. How do I really sink
4:26
Speaker 1: my teeth into this thing and allow it to grow? Now,
4:28
Speaker 1: the analogy that I want to give you is in
4:32
Speaker 1: the concept of dating. I think with dating it's gone
4:35
Speaker 1: a bit crazy where everything's so accessible. Connections, superficial connections
4:43
Speaker 1: with people are so accessible that it's hard to really
4:46
Speaker 1: block out everything else and be like, I'm going to
4:48
Speaker 1: give this one connection a red hot go Okay. Now
4:51
Speaker 1: we talk about this idea of of you know you know,
4:54
Speaker 1: you know straight away, you know straight away, you don't
4:57
Speaker 1: know straight away. It's actually a bias wh about in
5:00
Speaker 1: the ten biases that you need to know about in
5:02
Speaker 1: order to like not have it control your life. But
5:06
Speaker 1: this idea of being like, oh I knew all along,
5:08
Speaker 1: I knew all along, And you've meet people that are
5:10
Speaker 1: in love and they say, oh, I knew from day one. Bullshit,
5:14
Speaker 1: you didn't know from day one. You were into them
5:17
Speaker 1: from day one, And now that it has worked out,
5:19
Speaker 1: it's easy for you to say I knew on day one.
5:21
Speaker 1: Do you know how many times people have that exact
5:24
Speaker 1: same feeling that you had on day one and it
5:26
Speaker 1: didn't work out. It's this bias, this positive bias of
5:29
Speaker 1: thinking like, well, based on the information that I now have,
5:33
Speaker 1: I can say that I knew all along and it's like, yeah,
5:36
Speaker 1: you felt like you knew. But just as many people
5:38
Speaker 1: who feel that way on the first date break up
5:40
Speaker 1: as the ones that stay together. Okay, So the reason
5:43
Speaker 1: I'm saying this, I've just got an absolute massive tangent
5:46
Speaker 1: is that we try and seek that feeling at the
5:49
Speaker 1: very beginning, when, for the most part a relationship, not
5:54
Speaker 1: even for the most part, in every single situation, a
5:58
Speaker 1: successful relationship has to do with getting to know each
6:01
Speaker 1: other's character, with respect, with obviously compatibility, and of course
6:05
Speaker 1: love and attraction. You can't know if someone is your
6:08
Speaker 1: person based off one interaction with them, and the reason
6:11
Speaker 1: for that is because you don't yet know the person right.
6:15
Speaker 1: You don't know their character, you don't fuck all about them.
6:17
Speaker 1: You know that they're hot, you know that you've got
6:18
Speaker 1: good chat, you know a couple of things about what
6:21
Speaker 1: they've told you. We don't know, so you can't actually
6:23
Speaker 1: have this. But we're seeking in this dating world. We're like, well,
6:27
Speaker 1: it's that or nothing. It's that or fucking nothing. So
6:30
Speaker 1: you're seeing someone and instead of being like, what if
6:32
Speaker 1: I gave it my all and really like leent into this,
6:35
Speaker 1: I'm going to have just one foot in the door,
6:37
Speaker 1: one foot in the other door, and we all feel it.
6:40
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been on dates where your intention is
6:42
Speaker 1: to give it your all, but the person on the
6:43
Speaker 1: other side of that date, on the other end of
6:45
Speaker 1: that table, you can feel it's like they're just they're
6:48
Speaker 1: just not into it here in this moment, they're not
6:51
Speaker 1: giving it. They're all so like when we part ways,
6:54
Speaker 1: if they're not even present here on this date, they're
6:56
Speaker 1: just not going to be present. So the example that
6:58
Speaker 1: I want to give you is I've got a good
7:00
Speaker 1: end of mine and he was dating and he was
7:03
Speaker 1: dating this guy, and he's like, I don't know, like
7:05
Speaker 1: I like him, but I just don't know, Like I
7:09
Speaker 1: don't know if I should just keep going or pursuing it,
7:12
Speaker 1: Like do we go all in? Do we like? I
7:14
Speaker 1: think he likes me back, And he was just a
7:16
Speaker 1: bit like nah about it, But he's like, I don't
7:18
Speaker 1: want to end it either, because I really enjoy when
7:20
Speaker 1: I'm with him, I really enjoy my time. But then
7:23
Speaker 1: when we're not around. I kind of I'm not sure.
7:25
Speaker 1: Is this the be all end all? I don't know,
7:27
Speaker 1: So I said to him, this is what you need
7:29
Speaker 1: to do. You need to act as if this person
7:33
Speaker 1: is the fucking love of your life for the next
7:36
Speaker 1: month or three months or whatever. You want to give
7:39
Speaker 1: this relationship like you're already dating, so you want to go.
7:42
Speaker 1: I want you to go all in. I want you
7:44
Speaker 1: to be like, this is fucking it. How would you
7:48
Speaker 1: behave if you knew you were dating the love of
7:50
Speaker 1: your life? You would message them really beautiful things. You'd
7:54
Speaker 1: want to do things for them, you'd want when they
7:57
Speaker 1: came over for you to have already like prepared something
7:59
Speaker 1: like the way you try to eat someone you adore.
8:01
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying suffocate this person, but I'm saying, like,
8:04
Speaker 1: how would you behave? How would it be being like,
8:06
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm dating the love of my life.
8:08
Speaker 1: How would you like lean in, go all out, get
8:11
Speaker 1: off all the apps. I don't even think he was
8:13
Speaker 1: on the ass, but he was like his mind, I
8:15
Speaker 1: was like, get off everything and just act as if like,
8:19
Speaker 1: just give it everything you've got and see what happens
8:23
Speaker 1: in less than two months they were like fully in
8:25
Speaker 1: love and now they're married and so successful as a couple.
8:30
Speaker 1: They're amazing. So the other flip side to that, which
8:35
Speaker 1: is so good is if he was to war to
8:38
Speaker 1: this with everything he had and it didn't work out,
8:41
Speaker 1: then it would be just as good an outcome because
8:44
Speaker 1: he could be like, I gave it everything I could
8:47
Speaker 1: give and it didn't work out. So I can walk
8:50
Speaker 1: away from this. I can actually walk away. I'm not
8:53
Speaker 1: wasting my time. I'm not wasting their time. I've warded it.
8:58
Speaker 1: It's lived the life that it needs to live. And
9:00
Speaker 1: now I can very happily step away knowing I did
9:04
Speaker 1: my best, knowing that I'm not gonna be like, oh
9:06
Speaker 1: what if I had stayed, What if I had done this? Whatever?
9:08
Speaker 1: I gave it what I needed to give. Now I
9:11
Speaker 1: can step away. So both outcomes are ideal, and that
9:14
Speaker 1: I think happens with everything in life. If you're like,
9:16
Speaker 1: do I quit my job? Do I this? Do that?
9:18
Speaker 1: Being in limbo is quite dip. It's worse. You've got
9:22
Speaker 1: to say I'm either quitting today or I'm gonna go
9:25
Speaker 1: so hard and I'm gonna give it everything I've got.
9:27
Speaker 1: I'm gonna water this grass so fucking hard because two
9:31
Speaker 1: outcomes are gonna happen. Things are going to turn around
9:33
Speaker 1: for me at work. I'm gonna start getting promoted, getting noticed, whatever,
9:36
Speaker 1: or I'm gonna be like, you know what, I actually
9:38
Speaker 1: do give you my all and this is a fucking
9:40
Speaker 1: count for place and I'm fucking out of here. But
9:42
Speaker 1: I gave it my all, and I now know I
9:45
Speaker 1: have nothing left to be like, do I regret do
9:49
Speaker 1: I this? So giving it you're all always works out
9:52
Speaker 1: for you every time because it gives you an answer.
9:55
Speaker 1: It's like yes, yes, yes, yes yes, or it's a
9:58
Speaker 1: hard no. But this limbo of I don't know is
10:01
Speaker 1: what is the worst? I'd rather a fuck no then
10:05
Speaker 1: maybe he That's why situation ships grind not just my gigs,
10:10
Speaker 1: but I think they grind so many people's giars because
10:12
Speaker 1: it's like I just want to know. I don't want
10:14
Speaker 1: the no, but I'd rather know. I just want to know.
10:16
Speaker 1: This in between is bullshit. We're on this earth once, well,
10:21
Speaker 1: unless you believe in reincarnation, but we're let's just say
10:25
Speaker 1: we're on this earth once. Well, We've got one time
10:29
Speaker 1: living this life right, and we're going to be fucking
10:33
Speaker 1: around with the middle ground. If you're not willing to
10:37
Speaker 1: pull the pin on something, then your only alternative is
10:40
Speaker 1: to go all in.
10:43
Speaker 2: Okay sense sense, So if.
10:53
Speaker 1: You're standing here, be like, but I'm too scared to leave,
10:54
Speaker 1: I'm too scared. At fine, don't But now you have
10:58
Speaker 1: no option but to give it everything you've got, because
11:00
Speaker 1: then you won't be scared to leave because you're either
11:03
Speaker 1: going to be like, fuck, I'm so glad I stayed,
11:05
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I gave my all. I'm so glad
11:06
Speaker 1: I gave this person a red hot shot because they
11:09
Speaker 1: are fucking epic. And when I started watering this garden,
11:13
Speaker 1: it started blossoming. All these amazing aspects of this person
11:17
Speaker 1: started coming out. Their best side of them was revealed
11:20
Speaker 1: to me because of how I interacted with them. They
11:23
Speaker 1: are now like I didn't even notice how good this
11:26
Speaker 1: relationship could be. Or you could be like, yeah, wow,
11:30
Speaker 1: I've got my answer. Now for sure, I've got my answer.
11:32
Speaker 1: There's no doubt, there's no maybe I'll wait another week.
11:35
Speaker 1: Maybe it's like now I'm saving my time, saving their time.
11:38
Speaker 1: Everybody wins. This happens with work. This happens with a hobby.
11:41
Speaker 1: This happens with where you live. If you're like, should
11:44
Speaker 1: I move cities? Should I not? Should I should? I not?
11:46
Speaker 1: I want you if you are, I'm always like, go
11:49
Speaker 1: fucking move cities, because I think traveling is so good
11:52
Speaker 1: for you.
11:52
Speaker 2: But if you're.
11:55
Speaker 1: But if you're not sure, then I want you to
11:58
Speaker 1: act like you've just moved into the city that you're
12:01
Speaker 1: living in, and you're going to act like it's this
12:03
Speaker 1: new exciting thing, and you're going to like really relish
12:07
Speaker 1: this city. You're gonna act like you're seeing it through
12:10
Speaker 1: a brand new lens. You're going to go and explore
12:13
Speaker 1: the city. You're going to go out instead of just
12:15
Speaker 1: being at home on the coush the whole time. You're
12:17
Speaker 1: going to see the places. You're going to start engaging
12:19
Speaker 1: in new activities. And then after that, if you're like
12:22
Speaker 1: not sold, I'd really tried and I'm not sold, then again,
12:25
Speaker 1: it's going to be so much easier for you to
12:27
Speaker 1: make that decision and go. That's what I mean. When
12:29
Speaker 1: you water, the grass is always greener when you water
12:31
Speaker 1: it in the sense it's like you got you milked
12:34
Speaker 1: it for everything it was worth. The outcome will always
12:36
Speaker 1: be better because you have an answer, and an answer
12:38
Speaker 1: is always better than no answer. So I want you
12:41
Speaker 1: to be intentional with everything you do. Be intentional with
12:45
Speaker 1: going for it, be intentional with quitting something. I want
12:48
Speaker 1: you to do it with passion, and do it with
12:50
Speaker 1: give it you're all, because if you're not giving it,
12:53
Speaker 1: you're all, what the fuck are you doing? What are
12:55
Speaker 1: you doing? You're not gonna get twenty twenty five back.
12:58
Speaker 1: You're not going to get this life back that you
13:00
Speaker 1: are right now, you will never be again. So you've
13:04
Speaker 1: got to be intentional. You've got to put your energy
13:06
Speaker 1: into it. You've got to really milk it, you've got
13:08
Speaker 1: to really water it. You have to, as Tyrone says,
13:10
Speaker 1: every day, you've got to maximize every opportunity. He literally
13:13
Speaker 1: gets up and he's like, you got to maximize the day.
13:15
Speaker 1: You've got to maximize this. He's the most optimistic, happiest
13:17
Speaker 1: person ever, and I just love having that energy in
13:20
Speaker 1: my life. And he's always he said, yes, person, let's
13:22
Speaker 1: try this, let's do this, just do He'll go all in,
13:25
Speaker 1: he'll be so and then if something doesn't work out,
13:27
Speaker 1: it's like, wow, I was parked anywhere. Next and then
13:29
Speaker 1: onto the next thing. So that's the kind of energy
13:32
Speaker 1: you want to be bringing into it, in the sense
13:34
Speaker 1: of like, I'm here to maximize it. I get the
13:36
Speaker 1: answer faster. It's so much easier for me to make
13:39
Speaker 1: a strong fucking decision because I'm not leaving anything on
13:41
Speaker 1: the table. I am actually being vulnerable putting myself out there,
13:46
Speaker 1: but I'm not missing out on anything because of my attitude. Okay,
13:52
Speaker 1: that's the attitude I want you taking into your future,
13:55
Speaker 1: for the foreseeable future and beyond, and I can guarantee
13:59
Speaker 1: you everything will feel better. You'll feel confident about your decisions.
14:03
Speaker 1: That's one of the best ways to feel confident about
14:05
Speaker 1: a decision because you've given it everything you can give.
14:08
Speaker 1: It's so easy to walk away from something when you
14:11
Speaker 1: know that there's nothing left to give. As far as
14:13
Speaker 1: like I've exhausted every option. I'm not saying weigh yourself
14:16
Speaker 1: down into the ground and become a marta. I'm saying
14:19
Speaker 1: give it. You're all in the realm of what you're
14:21
Speaker 1: comfortable doing. And then when it's like, well I'm no
14:24
Speaker 1: longer like this is bullshit, then you don't feel bad
14:26
Speaker 1: leaving or quitting or giving up on something. It's so
14:30
Speaker 1: much easier, and then you've got the other alternative where
14:33
Speaker 1: you lean in and you're like, whall, I actually fell
14:36
Speaker 1: in love with this city. I can't believe I thought
14:38
Speaker 1: I was going to move a whole. This person is
14:39
Speaker 1: my fucking person, look at us or any other thing. Okay,
14:44
Speaker 1: that is all for today. I wanted to finish on
14:47
Speaker 1: a high and hopefully this has like inspired you for
14:50
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you're arming and ring about. And
14:52
Speaker 1: it's just you're gonna get your answer really soon, regardless
14:56
Speaker 1: if it's a yes or no, if you go all in.
14:58
Speaker 1: That is all for today. We go back to regular programming,
15:01
Speaker 1: normal episode on Monday next week. Love you guys so much,
15:04
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on this ten day rebrand glow up
15:08
Speaker 1: icons off the Lord Journey and yes that is all,
15:13
Speaker 1: and hello to all my new listeners that have come
15:15
Speaker 1: along on this journey for twenty twenty five. There will
15:18
Speaker 1: be some epic shit going on this year. It would
15:21
Speaker 1: be amazing, and I'll be always pointing back to some
15:24
Speaker 1: really helpful Golden Epic episodes from the back catalog to
15:29
Speaker 1: remind you of what to go listen to when it's
15:30
Speaker 1: relevant as well. So if you're brand new, you don't
15:33
Speaker 1: have to go through all like four hundred or whatever
15:36
Speaker 1: episodes unless you want, in which case I invite you
15:40
Speaker 1: to do so, and let me know how you're going
15:42
Speaker 1: on the marathon of the podcast. Love you guys so much.
15:46
Speaker 1: Shout out to my global beans. Shout out to all
15:48
Speaker 1: of us for hitting the year running with the bang.
15:51
Speaker 1: Also haven't mentioned it's yet on the podcast, but I
15:54
Speaker 1: have signed up to do a marathon, so love that
15:56
Speaker 1: for all of us involved. But we'll talk about that
15:58
Speaker 1: another time. Anyway, I'm signing off now, Love you all
16:02
Speaker 1: so much. As always, remember, becind to yourself, becond to
16:05
Speaker 1: your brain. Don't text shit from anyone, and especially don't
16:07
Speaker 1: text shit from yourself. Don't care