Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Letting Go of Perfection and Embracing Growth

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Letting Go of Perfection and Embracing Growth · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to hop on here with me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're tackling a topic that a lot of us wrestle with, which is how do we be imperfect, especially those of us with perfectionist issues, and that's definitely me.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's difficult.
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  SPEAKER_01: However, I can also say that perfectionism itself is exhausting because it keeps us in this constant loop of not enoughness.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I absolutely own the fact that that has been part of my story because the not good enough, or the not smart enough, or the not accomplished enough, or I have to do it perfectly well, or people be disappointed in me, it's hard.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing perfection can't be the goal and isn't the goal, and it actually never was.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk about how we could or at least share some lessons for maybe how we can embrace imperfection, how we can maybe stop the chase of the impossible and start finding some joy and growth in just the messiness of being a human being.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because let's call a spade a spade.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Humaning is difficult.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's always going to be challenges.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've ever struggled with being a little too hard on yourself, I'm hoping that you can take at least one or two nuggets from today.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: So we've all heard it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Perfection isn't a thing, it doesn't exist.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of us struggle to really embrace it.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that I've done the same thing, right?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because we think that perfect does exist and we keep chasing it.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that there are pressures that we are under.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we get them from different areas in our life.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, I would say that if perfect existed, we could kind of rest.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is we're constantly chasing it because nothing is ever going to be perfect.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because those of us who are perfectionists, so we always find something wrong with it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if we recognize that perfection is an illusion as a get-go, we just say, okay, maybe there isn't this that thing called perfection, we can start running after that and we can start focusing on maybe what actually matters, which is progress and growth and being present and actually maybe potentially living our life instead of constantly chasing something.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um something that actually can be beautiful about imperfection is that uh it kind of connects us to each other.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: When you think about the people that you're drawn to, they're probably not perfect, right?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all of us have quirks, we all have flaws, we all have vulnerabilities, and all of those things make us human.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that humanness is what makes us relatable and lovable.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know that my kids laugh at me continuously, and I say laugh at, but I say it with a jovial perspective because I don't think they're laughing at me, but actually it connects us and it and it makes it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a human to them and they're human to me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: So when we let go of this need to be perfect, we give ourselves permission to just connect with people as human beings and not this very hard to grasp place.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the biggest traps of perfectionism is waiting until something is perfect until we act.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: So for instance, we will hesitate to start on a project, or maybe we'll even continue to play with a photo and we won't post the photo on our Instagram, or maybe we're not gonna share an idea because we say to ourselves it's not ready.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: But if we can recognize that it's really about progress and not perfection, that's what's actually gonna lead us forward.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we focus on the small, consistent steps forward, that's what we're gonna, that's what builds momentum.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's what allows for things to happen.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And when we have that momentum, that's when lasting change will happen.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So if we don't ever start, we can't ever get there.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the thing start messy, start imperfect, just start, take that first step, post the picture, offer your idea, you know, take that very first step towards whatever project you're doing.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: The next thing that I want to share is that we have to embrace the actual beauty of mistakes, you know, reshaping this idea that mistakes are a period of in the end of a sentence, but rather they're a comma.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a it's a lesson.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's saying to ourselves, okay, that was a mistake and now what?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that that misstep allows me an opportunity to learn and grow and to create innovations, you know, to most of our breakthroughs will come from a breakdown of some sort or another.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So when we look at a mistake as a stepping stone instead of the end, it allows room to no longer fear the mistake, but we actually can brace it.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And as we embrace it, it allows for it to just be part of the journey that we're on.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: So you can ask yourself, what did this mistake teach me?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or how can I move forward now that I have this information?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing that I've learned about perfectionism and something that I had to work on was this idea of all or nothing.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of my perfectionism came from it was all or nothing.
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  SPEAKER_01: It was, you know, all in or not at all.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it traps us in that mindset.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not how life works.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not black or white.
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  SPEAKER_01: There's this whole spectrum in between.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we stay stuck in that, we generally will not move ourselves forward.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't need to write the perfect paper or the make the most perfect presentation or have the most perfect workout or create the most perfect speech.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Most of what you need to do is show up, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: You need to show up, be yourself, put in some effort, but remember, consistency beats perfection.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I often say to people, it's about celebrating the wins along the way.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: And again, and I'm speaking from experience on this, you know, I would even if I had a small win, my perfectionism would keep me from paying attention to that win.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And instead, I'd look at everything that didn't go well.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it and it really did.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: It kept me from looking at even the small victories that I was having or the small accomplishes that I was having.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so getting into a habit of celebrating the small wins, you know, whether it's, you know, I finished the workout, or even I got up and I worked out for even 10 minutes, or I met the deadline, or you know what, just celebrating that you made it through a really tough day, just acknowledging your efforts.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you are a perfectionist and this is something that you do struggle with, I would suggest that you start celebrating your small wins throughout your entire day.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just what went well today, what is the right thing today?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because those small wins are gonna build your confidence and your self-esteem.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then that's gonna build your intrinsic motivation.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And also it's gonna allow you to recognize that things don't have to be perfect for you to be engaged in them.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last one that I want to share, which I think might be the thing that I had to work the hardest on and probably the most important thing for me to employ and continue to employ is self-compassion.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oftentimes with perfectionism, there's this harsh inner critic that tells us that we're not good enough or we're not worthy.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: But if we replace it with a voice of kindness over judgment, instead of beating yourself up uh when you stumble and lean into the question of, okay, what would I tell my best friend in this situation, or what would I tell my child or a loved one?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then say the word those words to yourself, that is a way to work through perfectionism and for you to start embracing this idea if it's okay to be imperfect.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: And self-compassion isn't letting yourself off the hook or giving yourself a pass.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's about recognizing that you are a human being that is doing your very best on a daily basis, and human beings are beautifully and wonderfully imperfect.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the takeaway imperfection can actually be a gift.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: It allows you one to be human, it allows you to be relatable, and most importantly, it allows you to see that you are capable of growth.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the more we embrace imperfection and allow ourselves to just be open to being present for the progress, being here to connect with others, we actually get to experience joy and truly engage in our life.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you are struggling with perfectionism or anything else that you feel like coaching might be helpful for you to talk through and work through, by all means feel free to book a time to speak with me at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authenticme.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.