Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / Trad Wife
Transcript
- 0:00We got a question for our American mamas. Dear mamas, have you heard
- 0:03about the online debate about trad wives? Oh well, let's ask our American
- 0:09mamas, am Ma and Jodi Is now our American mamas Terry Nudeville and Kimberly
- 0:26brother. Listen. First of all, why online and on the left do
- 0:30we have to take things that are are normal, that are good, that
- 0:34are wholesome and give them a name that makes them sound nefarious. Like I'm
- 0:39talking to two cisgendered women right now, Look at you? How dare you
- 0:42be cisgendered trad wives? Like basic, like normal, like how things have
- 0:50been since the dawn of time. That's right. They were now supposed to
- 0:53be insulting that with made up names. Okay, tradwife, traditional wife.
- 0:58Why are we arguing about this? Well, I think it's because there's an
- 1:02influencer. She's just the cutest thing. She's young, and it's a new
- 1:06generation of quote unquote tradwives. So she's got the she looks like she has
- 1:10like a sixties kind of boufont. She wears an apron, she kind of
- 1:14does all the like that's what she wants. She said, She and her
- 1:17husband. When they started dating, they talked and this is the life that
- 1:19they wanted. He was going to go out of the house to provide and
- 1:23she was going to, you know, stay in and manage the household.
- 1:25And so she goes through her day. You watch the video and she's like,
- 1:29you know, for an hour and a half, I do my hair
- 1:30and makeup, after I put the load of wash on, then I clean
- 1:33this, then I make my bread. Then she's got the apron. So
- 1:36that's a trigger. That's a trigger. So counter that with another influencer on
- 1:41the opposite side who takes issue. I cannot think of this girl's name.
- 1:46She takes issue with the trad wife. And she's like, my husband works
- 1:51outside of the home. I stay home. I make my children's lunches for
- 1:56school. I'm not making his lunch. I watch my children's club. He
- 2:00can wash his own clothes. And it's like this, you know, you
- 2:04know, he woman, I mean she woman, like he can do his
- 2:06own. So's you've got these two opposite and it's like y'all have got it
- 2:10wrong. I mean the one on the left for sure, the one that's
- 2:14like, I'm not gonna be loving to my husband. I'm not going to
- 2:15treat him like a partner. No, it's it's very unloving. Why wouldn't
- 2:20you do something nice for your husband because in her mind you have the opportunity
- 2:23to. It's weak, it's weak. So what I say, we've talked
- 2:27about this. Two things can coexist at once. You can have You can
- 2:32be a traditional wife who loves to cook, manage the house and the children,
- 2:36love your husband, wash his clothes. Y'all might take turns and be
- 2:39a million dollar attorney in Louisiana. I mean, one of my best friends
- 2:44is that flies all over the world. Five children, cooks meals, she
- 2:47does, you know, manages that you got to, you know, dresses
- 2:51them. Yet she's also a powerful woman in the courtroom. Okay, that
- 2:55is very revered. And this happens all over America. You love and want
- 3:00to be That's what I am. I'm a traditional wife. That's the role
- 3:05I wanted to be, right and my husband, you know, has his
- 3:07role. He's the protector, provider, blah blah blah blah blah. But
- 3:10it doesn't mean that I can't go. If I see something that I want
- 3:14to do or accomplish, I can't And doesn't mean an American mama. Yeah,
- 3:16and it doesn't mean that I don't teach my daughter you can be anything
- 3:20you want to be, including a mom and a wife exactly. So I
- 3:23don't know, I feel exactly like you, they can coexist. I feel
- 3:28like what happens to a lot of women is they feel like it's a sacrifice
- 3:31and if they make that sacrifice, they lose a part of themselves. And
- 3:35so to me, if you are going to be in a traditional situation with
- 3:38your husband, it's an agreement between the two of you, because if it
- 3:43isn't an agreement, there's resentment on whatever whatever side. Because sometimes it was
- 3:49hard for me as a traditional wife when I didn't have money, you know,
- 3:53in my cheap, tight wad, beautiful, amazing husband controlled the purse
- 4:00strings. It made it a little more difficult. When I was working,
- 4:02I did what I wanted to do. If there's something that we disagreed on,
- 4:05I still did what I wanted to do, and so I had,
- 4:10you know, like some control because his personality is that way. But then
- 4:13when I stopped working and I was at home and he became the sole provider,
- 4:17it became very hard for me because I'm doing all those things that I
- 4:21love and they still matter to me. But I had somebody saying, no,
- 4:25we're not going to do that because he thinks very differently about how you
- 4:28spend money, budgeting, budgeting, and so then it became a little bit
- 4:31of resentment, you know, like, no, I gave up this,
- 4:35not for you to tell me, know you know, So there is the
- 4:39hat I think that that's what happens in a lot of marriages. There's the
- 4:42sacrifice. There's a sacrifice that they're not happy with. That's uncomfortable, and
- 4:46honestly, the one thing that the thing that I would say sometimes is you
- 4:49have to understand the appreciation is our payments. Yes, so if you take
- 4:55me for granted, or if you expect things rather than appreciate it, you
- 4:58and I are going to have trouble because since I don't get paid to do
- 5:00this, I mean, the payment comes in the children you raise and sending
- 5:04them mouth to be beautiful human beings in the world. But all I need,
- 5:09all I need is for you to say, gosh, you worked hard
- 5:12today, what you know, the house smells good or you know whatever,
- 5:16So you do you kind of go back and forth and figure out what works
- 5:19for you. They did have these moms on Doctor Phil. I mean these
- 5:24Mormon ex tradwives and they're divorced, and they were on the side of the
- 5:30you know, more of the woke one that was like, you know,
- 5:31I'm not doing it. Yes, they were like I wasted all my life
- 5:34and I thought you sound bitter. You said, I don't think that.
- 5:39The reason that you're not a trad wife is I think you chose the wrong
- 5:42person and y'all didn't communicate. That's huge, because, yeah, I can
- 5:45see where my husband would be able to say, you know, he grew
- 5:47up with an Archie and Edith Bunker. I grew up with like huxtables from
- 5:50my parents. So if he tried to be that dominate, domineering to me,
- 5:55it wouldn't work. It wouldn't work for me. If you like to
- 5:58asker America Mom was a question good website American ground Radio dot com slash mamas
- 6:01and click on the ass of the mama's button. Terry Needville, Kimberly bur
- 6:03listen, thank you so much, thank you, Thanks