Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DAILY DEVOTION, Biblical Perspective on Mental Health ......with Queen Angela

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DAILY DEVOTION, Biblical Perspective on Mental Health ......with Queen Angela · DA CREW Podcast

0:35
Speaker 1: Well, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. I
0:37
Speaker 1: want to welcome all those that are tuning in from
0:40
Speaker 1: tick from TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, and kick. Thank you,
0:48
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for joining
0:50
Speaker 1: us on this morning, y'all. Yet another day, another day,
0:56
Speaker 1: another day that I get to share a devotion with you.
0:59
Speaker 1: We are not coming out of a devotion book today,
1:04
Speaker 1: We're just coming out of the valueble and I'm gonna
1:08
Speaker 1: be sharing a little story time because actually this lesson
1:12
Speaker 1: today ties into my journey, it ties into a little
1:17
Speaker 1: bit of my background. So today, along with this devotion,
1:20
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a little story time. You're gonna get
1:21
Speaker 1: a little opportunity to find out just a little bit
1:24
Speaker 1: more about me, because I know you probably have some
1:27
Speaker 1: more questions because I never fully told my complete journey
1:32
Speaker 1: in one place, even though I've shared it bits and
1:36
Speaker 1: pieces all over the place. I've never shared all of
1:40
Speaker 1: my journey at one time. I know. One that I
1:43
Speaker 1: have not really touched on has been the mental health aspect.
1:49
Speaker 1: I do and have suffered from mental illness, something that
1:55
Speaker 1: I've had to go to counseling for, something that I
1:58
Speaker 1: had to actually see a psychiatrists for but when you
2:03
Speaker 1: want to be healed, you can heal. And I'm just
2:07
Speaker 1: gonna be sharing today because this is something that is
2:10
Speaker 1: near and dear to my heart and light of a
2:15
Speaker 1: lot of the things that we have been seeing floating
2:17
Speaker 1: around social media. We have been seeing a lot of
2:20
Speaker 1: cases of individuals unlive in themselves and unliving others because
2:26
Speaker 1: of different things. And as I looked at a lot
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Speaker 1: of these cases and was looking at a lot of
2:31
Speaker 1: the lives and a lot of the comments and the
2:34
Speaker 1: different things that has been shared and posted, and I
2:40
Speaker 1: was just like, Okay, Like, this is a lot of
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Speaker 1: mental health issues going on, and nobody is addressing it.
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Speaker 1: Nobody is saying anything. You know, we've been focusing bringing
2:51
Speaker 1: awareness to it, but it's like everybody we see it now,
2:55
Speaker 1: but it's like we can identify it, but it's still
2:58
Speaker 1: like we're not doing anything about it. So when you
3:03
Speaker 1: come into the knowledge, y'all were supposed to do. We're
3:05
Speaker 1: supposed to be good stewards over those things that we
3:07
Speaker 1: come into. I'm gonna pray really quick, and then we're
3:10
Speaker 1: gonna jump in this lesson and then I'm gonna share
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Speaker 1: a little bit. So Father got in their name with Jesus.
3:14
Speaker 1: Whatd I thank you for yet another day, another day
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Speaker 1: that was not promised me. Lord God, I thank you
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Speaker 1: for this hour, this hour that you allow us to
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Speaker 1: come on and share your goodness and share our testimonies
3:24
Speaker 1: of how we have overcome through you. So Father, I
3:27
Speaker 1: thank you. And as I prepare to share this lesson today,
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Speaker 1: Father God, I asked that you will move me out
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Speaker 1: of my way, move me out of the flesh, decrease
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Speaker 1: me in the flesh, and increase your spirit. Man, allow
3:40
Speaker 1: those words that you will have to come forth to
3:42
Speaker 1: come up and out, Father God, and made these things
3:45
Speaker 1: that I share on today fall on goods or may
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Speaker 1: it fall on those those individuals that need to receive
3:53
Speaker 1: it on today. So, Father God, I asked that you
3:55
Speaker 1: would just cover this message from the beginning to the end,
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Speaker 1: Lord God, and allow it to be what you would
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Speaker 1: have it to be for who needs it, Lord God,
4:04
Speaker 1: Because I know that you know all things, you see
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Speaker 1: all things, and you sit high and you look low.
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Speaker 1: So Father, I know that you know who is in
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Speaker 1: need of this on today, whether they catch this live
4:14
Speaker 1: or they catch it as a replay. Father, I asked
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Speaker 1: that you will just allow the Holy Spirit to just
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Speaker 1: lead God and direct us so that we may be
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Speaker 1: able to walk into those things that you have purpose
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Speaker 1: for us, regardless of what it looked like in the natural.
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Speaker 1: Right now, Lord God, we know that you're moving in
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Speaker 1: this spirit, and we thank you. And this is my
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Speaker 1: prayer in Jesus' name. Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, I pray
4:39
Speaker 1: that you guys will be blessed by something that I
4:42
Speaker 1: share on this morning. Y'all, we have been on a
4:46
Speaker 1: thirty one day journey. Yesterday was actually day thirty two
4:51
Speaker 1: of a thirty one day journey. We actually did a
4:54
Speaker 1: reflection on yesterday of what we had learned throughout the
4:57
Speaker 1: thirty one days. So today and tomorrow it's just going
5:01
Speaker 1: to be a free It's just gonna be a free
5:06
Speaker 1: just a devotion in story time because I don't have
5:11
Speaker 1: any particular devotions that I'm pulling out of the next
5:15
Speaker 1: book that we're going to be doing is going to
5:16
Speaker 1: be a youth book. I had it around here somewhere.
5:19
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to, oh here it is,
5:21
Speaker 1: So it's going to be a youth book and it
5:23
Speaker 1: is it is titled A Closer Walk with I am
5:28
Speaker 1: that I am a thirty one day teen guide to
5:31
Speaker 1: explore the Bible with Visionary Queen Angela. So that is
5:37
Speaker 1: what we're going to be doing next week. This is
5:42
Speaker 1: going starting Sunday. We're going to start this for the
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Speaker 1: next thirty one day. So we'll start this on Sunday
5:50
Speaker 1: and then it'll be for the next thirty one days.
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Speaker 1: If you want to get you a copy, you can
5:54
Speaker 1: get a copy. It is available on my website at
5:59
Speaker 1: ww Angela Thomas smithbooks dot com. You can grab this.
6:07
Speaker 1: But y'all, we're gonna go ahead and jump on in
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Speaker 1: this lesson this morning, so I can let y'all go
6:11
Speaker 1: on about y'all bees and it's okay. So the backstory
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Speaker 1: on mental health and the Bible, so mental health issues
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Speaker 1: are not new. Even in the pages of scripture, we
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Speaker 1: see individuals who face deep emotional and psychological struggles. The
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Speaker 1: Bible is honest about pain, discourage and discouragement, anxiety and despair.
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Speaker 1: From Dave's christ in the Psalms to Elijah's exhaustion and
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Speaker 1: fear to joe suffering, we learn that God's people have
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Speaker 1: always wrestled with pressures and stresses of life. For example,
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Speaker 1: Elijah one Kings nineteen three and eight. After a great victory,
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Speaker 1: Elijah was overwhelmed with fear and asked God to take
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Speaker 1: his life to unlive him. He asked God to unlive him.
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Speaker 1: He withdrew, and he felt alone and greatly deeply discouraged. Well,
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Speaker 1: what does that sound like to you? In today's terminology,
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Speaker 1: in today's time, what does that sound like to you?
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Speaker 1: To you, it sounded like the s word to me,
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Speaker 1: the s unlive word when you do it to yourself,
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Speaker 1: And it also sounds like depression. Now we also have David.
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Speaker 1: David frequently poured out his anxieties and depression in the songs,
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Speaker 1: calling out for relief and comfort. Do you hear it? Said? Often?
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Speaker 1: David frequently poured out his anxieties and depression in the psalms,
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Speaker 1: calling out for relief and comfort. Job job can do it? Grief,
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Speaker 1: physical suffering, isolation, even questioning the meaning of his pain,
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Speaker 1: showing up in the Bible, y'all, and showing up in
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Speaker 1: the Bible. So it's been here. It's not something new.
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Speaker 1: And if we continue, continue to live, we're gonna see
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Speaker 1: some more things. We think that you know, things that
8:41
Speaker 1: happened to us, didn't happen in the Bible. But yeah,
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Speaker 1: everything that's happening to us, y'all, everybody in the Bible
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Speaker 1: experienced every single thing that we're experiencing now, he said,
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Speaker 1: there's nothing new under the sun. So there's there's there's
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Speaker 1: no there's no new type of depress there's no new
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Speaker 1: mental illness. There's the new nothing. Everything that we experience,
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Speaker 1: everything that we go through, y'all, every person in this Bible,
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Speaker 1: you go through there and read the Bible, every person
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Speaker 1: in that Bible has experienced some of these things. Why
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Speaker 1: how do we know that? Because if we go over
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Speaker 1: and read, we can see. And not only that, y'all,
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Speaker 1: this is he said, this is our living example, basic
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Speaker 1: instruction before leaving earth. So these are our instructions. These
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Speaker 1: are the things that we're supposed to be doing. Know
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Speaker 1: that it's okay to not be okay, and I said
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Speaker 1: all the time, but know that you're not alone. Over
9:59
Speaker 1: in Psalms thirty four and eighteen, it says that the
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Speaker 1: Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the
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Speaker 1: crushed in spirit. Many of Guy's faithful servants were honest
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Speaker 1: with him about their struggles. God does not turn away
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Speaker 1: from pain. He draws near to you. God uses people
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Speaker 1: as part of his healing as well. And if we
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Speaker 1: go over In Galatians six and two, it say carry
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Speaker 1: each burdens. In this way you will fulfill the law
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Speaker 1: of Christ. It said we were not called to go
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Speaker 1: through things alone. God often sends helpers, friends, family, counselors,
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Speaker 1: in professionals for support for you from your journey to healing.
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Speaker 1: I always remember that regardless, there's always hope beyond your struggle.
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Speaker 1: If you look at Philippians six and seven, it says,
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Speaker 1: do not be anxious for anything. But in every situation,
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Speaker 1: we gotta pray. We got a petition, we gotta give thanks,
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Speaker 1: and then we present our request to God and make
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Speaker 1: peace of God. He would guard your heart and your
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Speaker 1: mind in Christ. And that thing nobody told me something
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Speaker 1: that I've been witnessing. God offers us real peace even
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Speaker 1: and when anxiety and anxiousness rise up, and in the
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Speaker 1: current moment, his presence can guard your heart in your mind.
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Speaker 1: How can you apply what I'm telling you now to
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Speaker 1: your life? First of all, y'all, we got to be
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Speaker 1: honest with God and others. We got to pray frequently
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Speaker 1: about our struggles, and we have to understand that God
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Speaker 1: handles our hardest questions. He answered them with no problem.
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Speaker 1: Tears and fears doesn't bother him. He's not moved by that.
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Speaker 1: Family spiritual leaders. We need friends, family, and spiritual leaders
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Speaker 1: who will support you, who will support you on this journey.
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Speaker 1: We all need somebody that we can talk to. Sometimes
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Speaker 1: even if they just listen, they're not even have a response.
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Speaker 1: But I also know that there's help. There's help out here.
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Speaker 1: You can utilize the resources that God has provided, like pastors, therapists, counselors,
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Speaker 1: medical professionals, and seek the help that you need. Seeking
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Speaker 1: help is not a sign of weakness, but wisdom. How
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Speaker 1: do you fill your mind with the truth. You have
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Speaker 1: to meditate on the promises of the Creator. You have
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Speaker 1: to speak it out loud. Then you got to write
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Speaker 1: it down. Write out some scriptures, declare some of these
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Speaker 1: scriptures over your life. Write them out, put it in
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Speaker 1: your mind, begin to speak and get you some sticky notes.
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Speaker 1: Post them around in your room, in your in your car,
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Speaker 1: wherever you can post them, and remind yourself of His word.
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Speaker 1: Psalms one twenty one and seven, Verses seven and eight.
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Speaker 1: It said the Lord will keep you from our harm.
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Speaker 1: He will watch over your life. The Lord will watch
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Speaker 1: over your coming and going, both now and forever. More So,
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Speaker 1: I want to talk about some of the most common
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Speaker 1: types of mental illnesses that individuals experience. I'm gonna share
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Speaker 1: the top five mental illnesses and then I'm gonna share
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Speaker 1: a little bit about one that has plagued me and
15:23
Speaker 1: have had this home stronghold on me. So there is
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Speaker 1: the top five. I'm not gonna say that there's just five,
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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna share with you the top five types
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Speaker 1: of mental illness. So the first one is so first,
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Speaker 1: I want you to have to say this disclaimer, so
16:02
Speaker 1: this may I want to put out a trigger warning.
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Speaker 1: This may trigger some people not intending to, but there
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Speaker 1: I just want to bring to awareness some other different
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Speaker 1: types of mental illnesses. So we have depression, a major
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Speaker 1: depressive disorder. Symptoms of depression persistent persistent sadness, loss of
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Speaker 1: interest or pleasure, changes in sleep and appetite, fatigue, feeling
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Speaker 1: a worthlessness or guilt, and the thought of unliving or
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Speaker 1: the s unalive. Depression is one of the most common
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Speaker 1: mental health disorders globally, anxiety disorder. It is a generalized
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Speaker 1: it is generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, phobias.
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Speaker 1: Symptoms are excessive worry, fear, restlessness, rapid heartbeat, and avoidance
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Speaker 1: of anxiety provoking situations. Then the third one is bipolar disorder.
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Speaker 1: So bipolar disorder is the symptoms are and there's like three,
17:33
Speaker 1: I want to say, three types of bipolar. You have
17:35
Speaker 1: bipolar one, bipolar two, and cyclo thematic disorder. So symptoms
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Speaker 1: that you experience when you're experiencing the bipolar disorder is
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Speaker 1: you will have periods of depression alternating between alternation with
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Speaker 1: episodes of magic. So you may be depressed and then
18:03
Speaker 1: you may be happy. You may be depressed, and then
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Speaker 1: you may have risky behaviors. You may be depressed and
18:11
Speaker 1: then you may have racing thoughts. You may have You
18:14
Speaker 1: may be depressed and then you may have an elevate
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Speaker 1: moved swen. You may be depressed and then you may
18:19
Speaker 1: have higher energy. So with bipolar there's there's different stages,
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Speaker 1: there's different types. But that is the third. As as
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Speaker 1: far as ranking, and I'm giving you the top five,
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Speaker 1: that will be the number three on the top five,
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Speaker 1: So the number four is schizophrenia and with schizophrenia, the
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Speaker 1: symptoms are hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinking in speech, social withdrawllness,
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Speaker 1: and cognitive difficults. So with that again, you may hallucinate,
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Speaker 1: you may be delusional, may not be able to rationalize
19:13
Speaker 1: or be able to concept some different things. And then
19:22
Speaker 1: the top five. The last one of the top five
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Speaker 1: is obsessive compulsive disorder and that is describe your symptoms
19:32
Speaker 1: as described as unwanted persistent thoughts, obsession and repetitive behaviors
19:40
Speaker 1: or rituals compulsion perform to reduce the anxiety caused by obsession. Y'all.
19:50
Speaker 1: These illnesses can affect anyone. It often requires a combination
19:55
Speaker 1: of therapy, support, and sometime medication. So if you know
20:01
Speaker 1: someone that struggles, reach out to a professional and get help.
20:06
Speaker 1: They have now you can do it online. They have
20:10
Speaker 1: online counselors that you can sit down and talk to.
20:15
Speaker 1: If you can't get into an office. There are mental
20:18
Speaker 1: health groups. There are different types of mental health profession
20:23
Speaker 1: knows that can assist you. We have some mental health
20:26
Speaker 1: coaches that coach you. They don't hold the certification and
20:31
Speaker 1: the license, but they coach you from the experiences and
20:33
Speaker 1: the things that they have been taught in these different programs.
20:37
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of resources out here, y'all. We
20:41
Speaker 1: just got to learn how to tap into them as
20:43
Speaker 1: black and brown people, because we know that mental health
20:47
Speaker 1: has always been here, it is going to always be here,
20:51
Speaker 1: and it's not going anywhere. If we can look back
20:54
Speaker 1: over our family trees and our family histories, then we
20:57
Speaker 1: can see, you know, who struggle with what, what they
21:00
Speaker 1: struggled with, Who did this? Who did what? But anyway,
21:06
Speaker 1: I hope that I shared something with you guys that
21:10
Speaker 1: will encourage you to get help. If you need help
21:15
Speaker 1: and you need someone to talk to, don't have anyone
21:17
Speaker 1: to talk to, y'all. You can pick up your phone
21:19
Speaker 1: and just down nine eight eight. Now, pick up your
21:22
Speaker 1: phone and dial nine eight eight, And no matter where
21:25
Speaker 1: you are, they can assist you. They can assist you.
21:29
Speaker 1: So I want to leave you guys with this. Y'all know,
21:32
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna stay on long. I'm not gonna stay
21:36
Speaker 1: I was not gonna stay alone. My intentions was really
21:38
Speaker 1: not to stay on loan, but to provide you with
21:41
Speaker 1: the what was dropped in my spirit, the neggas that
21:43
Speaker 1: was dropped in my spirit. So I just wanted to
21:45
Speaker 1: do that, just wanted you guys to know that I am.
21:51
Speaker 1: I'm sharing something that is near and dear to my heart.
21:55
Speaker 1: So let me share just a little bit about the
21:57
Speaker 1: things that I suffer from. So I suffer from what
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Speaker 1: they call complex PTSD. I also suffer from the first
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Speaker 1: two that were named above, which is UH, I suffer
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Speaker 1: from depression and anxiety. Where I could say I suffer
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Speaker 1: from the top three because I did get diagnosed with
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Speaker 1: bipolar one and that was doing my DV incident. Everybody
22:44
Speaker 1: knows that I was involved in a DV incident where
22:47
Speaker 1: I was almost unlived and that was a that there
22:54
Speaker 1: was a journey. But I was diagnosed with those things,
23:00
Speaker 1: I was given medication after having to go through I
23:06
Speaker 1: had to see a psychiatrist. Then I had to see
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Speaker 1: some therapists. Once I started going through therapy, it was
23:17
Speaker 1: truly when I learned out that I had a lot
23:21
Speaker 1: of issues that resolved from that that was still unresolved
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Speaker 1: from my childhood, stuff that I didn't even didn't even
23:31
Speaker 1: know that I had going on or even could conceptualize
23:36
Speaker 1: a lot of the things that were being shared with
23:38
Speaker 1: me because I've never had anyone talk to me about
23:43
Speaker 1: what mental health looks like. You know what depression looks like,
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Speaker 1: what anxiety looked like. If you don't know what these
23:49
Speaker 1: things look like, and they begin to happen to you,
23:50
Speaker 1: you just think something is wrong with you. You don't
23:52
Speaker 1: know what. And then when you go to the doctors
23:54
Speaker 1: and they can't find nothing wrong with you, then you
23:57
Speaker 1: know that, yeah, that's something really going on. And I
24:00
Speaker 1: and really, you know, you have to really find out.
24:03
Speaker 1: And things like that started happening with me. But I
24:09
Speaker 1: went to the doctor. I I just remember after going
24:15
Speaker 1: through my dip d v mm hm. And you know
24:22
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff would trigger me, you know, watching TV.
24:24
Speaker 1: That's why today I hardly ever watched TV. For a
24:28
Speaker 1: long time, I could not even if a car backfired.
24:33
Speaker 1: Uh uh uh. Fireworks they bothered me. I don't like
24:40
Speaker 1: going to fireworks shows. I just I just don't. And
24:46
Speaker 1: even to this day, even eight years later, after going
24:49
Speaker 1: through all the therapy, all that I hear fireworks, I
24:54
Speaker 1: hear what It makes me jump. It makes me nervous
24:58
Speaker 1: a little bit. For a long time, I would have
25:02
Speaker 1: these dreams. I couldn't sleep at night. I was I
25:08
Speaker 1: had a worrying spirit, not only that I was having
25:13
Speaker 1: problems trying to keep my blood pressure blood pressure regulated.
25:19
Speaker 1: It felt like my heart used to just beat all
25:21
Speaker 1: beat fast, and it just felt like I just had
25:24
Speaker 1: something that was out of the normal going on. At
25:27
Speaker 1: all times. I would have periods of depression and then
25:33
Speaker 1: I could be I could wake up in the morning depressed.
25:37
Speaker 1: By lunchtime, my mood could have switched, it could have elevated.
25:41
Speaker 1: I could be happy, and then by by six o'clock
25:43
Speaker 1: I could be sad again. And that was an ongoing thing.
25:48
Speaker 1: That was an ongoing thing, and I was like, no,
25:49
Speaker 1: this is not how a person should be functioning. This
25:53
Speaker 1: is not how I should be functioning. Like it's okay
25:57
Speaker 1: to feel how you feel and to go through all
25:59
Speaker 1: of these from emotions and all of that, but I
26:04
Speaker 1: just felt like I didn't need to. I didn't feel right.
26:09
Speaker 1: So in the midst of experiencing a lot of these things,
26:15
Speaker 1: like I lost interest in doing anything, Like all I
26:19
Speaker 1: wanted to do is stay in my dark room. I
26:22
Speaker 1: wanted to keep the blinds closed, and I didn't want
26:26
Speaker 1: to be bothered with no cares of the world. I
26:30
Speaker 1: didn't want to be bothered with people. I just didn't
26:33
Speaker 1: want to be bothered. And a lot of this for
26:36
Speaker 1: me came on after I was involved in a DV
26:45
Speaker 1: incident where I was almost unlive and PTSD is a
26:53
Speaker 1: common diagnosis in women as well as men who have
26:57
Speaker 1: experienced DV. It's generally generally referred to as just post
27:05
Speaker 1: traumatic stress syndrome PTSD, but however, when there is trauma
27:12
Speaker 1: and it's ongoing and repeated, they diagnose you with complex
27:20
Speaker 1: complex PTSD, and that is it is recognized as resulting
27:27
Speaker 1: from prolonged or repeated trauma. Someone that repeatedly has trauma
27:36
Speaker 1: where the victim sometimes feels trapped and unable to escape.
27:45
Speaker 1: Symptoms are in addition to the typical symptoms of PTSD
27:50
Speaker 1: like flashbacks, nightmares, hypo vigilance, complex PTSD may include some
27:59
Speaker 1: difference with emotional regulations, self esteem issues, feeling shame or guilt,
28:05
Speaker 1: and problems with relationships and trusts. So PTS is diagnosed
28:18
Speaker 1: and many people, many of DV survivors, and if y'all
28:26
Speaker 1: want to get some information about any of these disorders,
28:29
Speaker 1: y'all can go to Name It. It's a good website.
28:32
Speaker 1: They have a lot of information about mental health. The
28:37
Speaker 1: advocacy there's an advocacy group out here that does a lot.
28:42
Speaker 1: I forgot the name of it. I'll have it for
28:43
Speaker 1: y'all tomorrow. But there's people out here that you can
28:49
Speaker 1: talk to that look like you. Now you don't have
28:53
Speaker 1: to be you know, a lot of people are afraid
28:56
Speaker 1: to go and sit down on the table and talk
28:59
Speaker 1: to someone because the couch and talk to someone because
29:01
Speaker 1: they say, oh, well, they not like me, they can't
29:04
Speaker 1: relate to me. But now, y'all, I'm telling you, God
29:07
Speaker 1: has hurt you'll Christ, He has hurt y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, please,
29:10
Speaker 1: because he has equipped and empowered a lot of black
29:16
Speaker 1: mental health professionals that are doing their things within the community.
29:21
Speaker 1: Now it's up to us to tap into these resources
29:26
Speaker 1: and go and be a part of different things so
29:29
Speaker 1: that we can learn techniques, we can learn different things,
29:34
Speaker 1: because y'all, there's always gonna be something that we may
29:38
Speaker 1: not know that we have to get from someone else.
29:40
Speaker 1: Because this is evolving world. This world is forever evolving.
29:44
Speaker 1: Because if it wasn't, y'all, we'd be still back there
29:47
Speaker 1: with with with with horses and whatever. But this world
29:51
Speaker 1: is a forever evolving world. So just as the world evolved,
29:54
Speaker 1: guess what, everything around us evolves as well, making room
29:59
Speaker 1: for the next thing to come up. Yes, I'm telling you, y'all,
30:12
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it has been a struggle for me.
30:15
Speaker 1: But I think I'm grateful that I had people in
30:21
Speaker 1: my life that pushed me and they saw things that
30:26
Speaker 1: were really really out of my character and they were friends,
30:33
Speaker 1: true friends that say, look, let me give you some advice.
30:41
Speaker 1: They referred different people to me. I did the work, y'all,
30:48
Speaker 1: because I want to be here, and now am I am?
30:50
Speaker 1: I here all the way? Do I struggle still? Yeah, y'all,
30:55
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a struggle every day. But yes, what
31:00
Speaker 1: now that I know what I struggle with, Now that
31:03
Speaker 1: I know some of the symptoms, Now that I know
31:06
Speaker 1: some of the things that brings it up and some
31:10
Speaker 1: of the things that you see, I know how to
31:15
Speaker 1: I can manage it a little better. Do I have
31:17
Speaker 1: my moments? Yes? Now I have moments all the time
31:22
Speaker 1: because not only do I deal with those mental issues,
31:28
Speaker 1: I also have grief. I deal with grief because everybody
31:32
Speaker 1: that's in, everybody that knows me and have been attached
31:38
Speaker 1: to my platforms over these last five years, know that,
31:42
Speaker 1: you know, I've lost quite a few people, you know,
31:45
Speaker 1: and I can say that it seemed like every year
31:50
Speaker 1: since nineteen eighty nine, I have lost someone close, not
31:56
Speaker 1: like people way away, but every year I lost someone
32:02
Speaker 1: that was a part of me, that was a part
32:05
Speaker 1: of you know who. You see, they were a part
32:09
Speaker 1: of my upbringing. They were a part of the molding
32:13
Speaker 1: of me, and y'all they're gone. I've lost both my parents.
32:25
Speaker 1: I've lost both of my brothers. You know, I only
32:30
Speaker 1: have one sibling. I have one sibling left, and you know,
32:39
Speaker 1: I never imagine life without without a lot of them.
32:51
Speaker 1: In some days, it's hard, and when certain things happened
32:58
Speaker 1: around me, y'all, everybody keep posting about this couple that
33:06
Speaker 1: unlived with a husband, unlived himself in his in his wife,
33:13
Speaker 1: and everybody keep posting, keep posting, keep posting, keep posting.
33:18
Speaker 1: The families have laid them to rest, and sometimes you
33:23
Speaker 1: want the situation to be laid to rest so that
33:26
Speaker 1: they can rest, and so that families can move on
33:29
Speaker 1: with their life, not knowing that with every post y'all
33:32
Speaker 1: make everything that y'all make, there's people out here that
33:37
Speaker 1: relive relive their trumper, relive their life, relive things that
33:42
Speaker 1: has transpired within them. With every post, you know, I
33:49
Speaker 1: get triggered sometimes just hearing people talk about the loss
33:53
Speaker 1: of their loved ones like it's hard. It's hard, but
34:03
Speaker 1: we know that there's people out here that we can
34:07
Speaker 1: lean on, people that we get talked to, that may
34:14
Speaker 1: have been where we are, and that we're not on
34:17
Speaker 1: this journey alone. I tell people it's okay to feel
34:20
Speaker 1: how you feel. Like I needed to get that cry out.
34:23
Speaker 1: I needed to let that, let those tears flow today.
34:30
Speaker 1: I needed to let that out because sometimes we try
34:34
Speaker 1: to be strong. We want to be strong because we
34:37
Speaker 1: know that, you know, there's people depending on us, people
34:39
Speaker 1: watching us, people doing different things. But it's okay, y'all.
34:45
Speaker 1: It's okay, hey to some time to just get to
34:49
Speaker 1: yourself and cry. It's okay to sometime to to not
34:56
Speaker 1: want to do nothing, or to just want to lay
34:58
Speaker 1: in your bed and just not get up, but not
35:00
Speaker 1: do nothing. It's okay. But just however you feel when
35:06
Speaker 1: you go through those stages, y'all, just know that don't
35:09
Speaker 1: stay there too long. For me. I I'll have my
35:16
Speaker 1: moments and then I'll keep going sometimes I may have
35:24
Speaker 1: to take a couple of days off. You know, not
35:26
Speaker 1: all the time. People know, not all the time people know,
35:30
Speaker 1: you know, exactly what I'm doing. They don't know. They
35:34
Speaker 1: just see me show up, so they don't know what
35:36
Speaker 1: I'm going through or what I'm experiencing, or you know,
35:39
Speaker 1: if I had a good day a bad day, because regardless,
35:42
Speaker 1: I always show up. No I've showed up for events
35:49
Speaker 1: and have been a wreck, because even when I have
35:58
Speaker 1: been in the middle of going through and still showing up.
36:04
Speaker 1: You know, if a lot of people that have been
36:10
Speaker 1: following me from twenty twelve and twenty fourteen on these platforms,
36:16
Speaker 1: they know they were in the midst of my DV experience,
36:22
Speaker 1: and a lot of them didn't even know that I
36:26
Speaker 1: was going through or experiencing it because I was still
36:29
Speaker 1: showing up. I was still being the compassionate, empathetic person, compassionate, loving, caring,
36:44
Speaker 1: open hearted person that wanted to show up for others,
36:51
Speaker 1: even in the midst of what I was going through.
36:56
Speaker 1: And one day I just couldn't do it no more.
37:00
Speaker 1: I just broke. I just I just I just cried out.
37:03
Speaker 1: I it it got so bad too. Even after going
37:08
Speaker 1: through like even before and then going through the DV
37:12
Speaker 1: and then afterwards, y'all. I I I didn't want to
37:15
Speaker 1: be here, like I I really didn't want to be here.
37:19
Speaker 1: And I went through a phase where I tried to
37:23
Speaker 1: unlive my myself. I was onto medication. My psychiatrist had
37:31
Speaker 1: prescribed me some medicine and I was taking those medications
37:35
Speaker 1: and like it to me, I felt like I I was.
37:40
Speaker 1: It wasn't. I wasn't I wasn't growing, I wasn't developed,
37:43
Speaker 1: and I was in the same state of mind. I
37:45
Speaker 1: wasn't trying. It was like nothing was nothing was going right,
37:48
Speaker 1: Nothing was nothing, And I just felt like just ended,
37:55
Speaker 1: just just just go ahead and unallive yourself, and you
37:59
Speaker 1: you would just do a whole lot of people a favor,
38:03
Speaker 1: you know. That's what I kept telling myself. And I
38:07
Speaker 1: remember taking that bottle pills, and remind you, the pills
38:10
Speaker 1: that I took were medications from my psychiatrists that were
38:14
Speaker 1: supposed to help me sleep. I forgot the name of it.
38:17
Speaker 1: I think it started with a Z, but it was
38:19
Speaker 1: supposed to help me sleep. And I remember taking that
38:23
Speaker 1: whole bottle and I went to sleep, y'all, But I
38:31
Speaker 1: didn't sleep long. I slept for maybe thirty minutes, thinking
38:37
Speaker 1: that you know, when I woke up, I'm thinking I'm
38:40
Speaker 1: gonna wake up over on the other side. But I
38:42
Speaker 1: woke up, and then y'all know, I felt like I
38:45
Speaker 1: failed again because here I was, I can't even do
38:49
Speaker 1: that right, So there go all that stuff again. So
38:54
Speaker 1: I just so happened to have had a friend at
38:56
Speaker 1: that time who were also my business partner, and that
39:00
Speaker 1: particular day, God had led her to come by my
39:05
Speaker 1: dad's house. At that time, I was staying with my
39:08
Speaker 1: dad and had led her to come by my dad's house.
39:11
Speaker 1: So she came by my dad's house and she came
39:17
Speaker 1: in my room because she always she always she knows.
39:20
Speaker 1: My dad would always tell people if if I was
39:23
Speaker 1: in my room, they come knock on the door, and
39:25
Speaker 1: he just let them in. My dad would just let
39:29
Speaker 1: me in. He was it was his house, and he
39:30
Speaker 1: was like, she back there, just going in and he
39:34
Speaker 1: would just let me in. Well, she came in and
39:36
Speaker 1: she saw the empty bottle laying on my bed, and
39:43
Speaker 1: she just started asking me questions. She took me to
39:48
Speaker 1: the hospital, and I can say that was the best
39:58
Speaker 1: decision that I mad was to get help. I was
40:06
Speaker 1: assigned to two therapists, and I tell you, I thank
40:13
Speaker 1: God for both of them because they helped me change
40:17
Speaker 1: my life. I was able to get back on track.
40:21
Speaker 1: I was able to really, you know, work through some
40:25
Speaker 1: things about me, find out a little bit about me,
40:29
Speaker 1: some things that I didn't even know. By that time,
40:34
Speaker 1: I had some more issues going on. So they put
40:40
Speaker 1: me in a twelve step program. So I went through
40:46
Speaker 1: this twelve step program at this place called I forgot
40:55
Speaker 1: the name of it, y'all, but it's that it's at
40:57
Speaker 1: a church in Anderson. I forgot the name of it.
41:01
Speaker 1: But the people there were so amazing. And I keep
41:05
Speaker 1: saying that when I go back to Anderson, I'm gonna
41:07
Speaker 1: have to stop by there and see them, because I
41:09
Speaker 1: know that they do meetings, they have meetings often. But
41:12
Speaker 1: when I go back to Anderson, I really want to
41:15
Speaker 1: stop by there and let them know how they changed
41:18
Speaker 1: my life and what I'm doing now and the things
41:21
Speaker 1: that I'm doing now because it was them. It was
41:25
Speaker 1: them pouring into me and walking through and being able
41:29
Speaker 1: to talk about it, y'all. We were able to sit
41:31
Speaker 1: down and talk about these things and then being able
41:34
Speaker 1: to meet other people that you know was going through
41:38
Speaker 1: the same things, and just learning techniques and just different
41:44
Speaker 1: things that you know would help me to identify when
41:49
Speaker 1: I'm being triggered, things that triggered me, and how I can,
41:55
Speaker 1: you know, handle those situations. So I'm grateful. Also, this
42:02
Speaker 1: experience has also made me want to learn a little
42:07
Speaker 1: bit more about mental health in a more intimate way.
42:13
Speaker 1: Not just for myself, but I feel like someone that
42:17
Speaker 1: deals with these different issues and go through these different issues.
42:23
Speaker 1: If I had the proper skills and education and things
42:30
Speaker 1: behind me, I cannot only help myself, but I can
42:32
Speaker 1: help others. So I am getting ready to go back
42:37
Speaker 1: to school and dive into my mental health degree. Those
42:42
Speaker 1: that know me know that I used to when I
42:46
Speaker 1: was going to school. When I was going to Morris Brown,
42:47
Speaker 1: I was doing therapy recreation, which was working with people
42:50
Speaker 1: with disabilities. Before that, I was going to North Greenville
42:55
Speaker 1: and I wanted to do special education. I wanted to
43:00
Speaker 1: work with kids with special needs. So between that and
43:07
Speaker 1: I was able to take a lot of psychology classes.
43:09
Speaker 1: That long story short, I was able to take a
43:11
Speaker 1: lot of psychology classes. I was able to take a
43:13
Speaker 1: lot of anatomy classes, sociology classes, things that you know,
43:18
Speaker 1: really taught me about about personalities, about you know, how
43:23
Speaker 1: the body function and how the organs function, and different things.
43:28
Speaker 1: So I did not get a degree along that field,
43:35
Speaker 1: but I did go on back to school and get
43:38
Speaker 1: three degrees. As matter of fact, I have three business degrees.
43:43
Speaker 1: So now I want to finish what I started because
43:47
Speaker 1: I know that I know that that is a part
43:52
Speaker 1: of the big picture for my vision that God has
43:57
Speaker 1: given me, for the things that I'm supposed to be
43:59
Speaker 1: doing my purpose and the things that I'm supposed to
44:02
Speaker 1: be doing here on this earth. My ultimate goal is
44:06
Speaker 1: to open up a community center, and it's gonna be
44:12
Speaker 1: a huge community center that's gonna really benefit the community
44:16
Speaker 1: because there's gonna be all types of resources within this
44:18
Speaker 1: community center and there's gonna be so many different facets
44:22
Speaker 1: to it. That is my goal, and hopefully we'll start
44:28
Speaker 1: seeing those things come to fruition and come to pass
44:31
Speaker 1: over the next two three years, because I've definitely been
44:35
Speaker 1: working behind the scenes and we're hoping that they're gonna
44:40
Speaker 1: manifest quickly. And I don't just want to have one
44:44
Speaker 1: in my home state, because my home state in South
44:47
Speaker 1: Carolina is where I want it to be in Anderson,
44:49
Speaker 1: South Carolina, to be exact, because that's where I grew,
44:51
Speaker 1: that's where I was born and reared most of my life.
44:57
Speaker 1: I don't know what home is gonna be for me,
44:59
Speaker 1: because over the next couple of months there's gonna be
45:04
Speaker 1: a lot of changes. I may even move to another state.
45:09
Speaker 1: But however God leads me, however He directs me, however
45:12
Speaker 1: He ordered my steps. That's that's what I'm doing these
45:17
Speaker 1: last ten years. I can honestly say that my life
45:21
Speaker 1: has not been my life, and it has not been
45:25
Speaker 1: my life. It has been totally living in it, uh,
45:28
Speaker 1: living under the obedience of God's instructions the Holy Spirit. However,
45:32
Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit has led me. That's what I've done.
45:36
Speaker 1: Have I been perfect? No? Will I be perfect? Never?
45:39
Speaker 1: Because I am perfectly imperfect, because that's how He created us.
45:45
Speaker 1: You know, I will never be perfect. But every day
45:48
Speaker 1: I strive to be more like the one that created me.
45:52
Speaker 1: He said he made us in his image, So every
45:54
Speaker 1: day I strive to be more like him. And if
45:57
Speaker 1: I can strive to be more like the one that
45:59
Speaker 1: created me me, then that's that's the best that I
46:04
Speaker 1: can do. I just asked my daily prayer, is less
46:09
Speaker 1: of me, Father and more of you, Like decrease me
46:13
Speaker 1: in the flesh and allow your spirit man within me
46:16
Speaker 1: to come forth. That is my desire, that is that
46:20
Speaker 1: is my hope. And that's why you guys see me
46:24
Speaker 1: doing a lot of the stuff that I do. Y'all.
46:26
Speaker 1: God raised me up off my bet of affliction, and
46:30
Speaker 1: when he raised me up off my better of affliction,
46:32
Speaker 1: I just wanted to share his goodness. Didn't want to
46:35
Speaker 1: stand in the poor pit because I knew that all
46:37
Speaker 1: the things that came behind those titles and standing in
46:40
Speaker 1: the poor pit didn't care for titles, didn't stand, didn't
46:43
Speaker 1: care for all that. But I knew that I wanted
46:45
Speaker 1: to share his goodness and all the things that He
46:47
Speaker 1: has done for me because I know that it was
46:49
Speaker 1: not me by myself that has allowed me to do
46:53
Speaker 1: the things that I have done. So I'm just led
46:58
Speaker 1: by the Holy Spirit. Every day I want to pour
47:01
Speaker 1: out an empty out all that I can so that
47:05
Speaker 1: when I lay down he can feel me up again.
47:08
Speaker 1: I want him to feel me afresh every day with
47:12
Speaker 1: his grace and his mercy, and I want him to
47:16
Speaker 1: align me with the things that he want me to do,
47:21
Speaker 1: not about me, but keep me stayed on him and
47:28
Speaker 1: his word. So I just asked him to order my steps.
47:33
Speaker 1: Order my steps. I pray that there has been something
47:37
Speaker 1: that you guys have took in on today that will
47:43
Speaker 1: hopefully help you on your journey. If you struggle with
47:48
Speaker 1: mental illness, or if you know someone that struggles with
47:50
Speaker 1: mental illness, know that you are not alone. Know that
47:54
Speaker 1: this is not something new, that this has happened. Back
47:57
Speaker 1: in the Bible, we have scriptures that tells us I
48:02
Speaker 1: shared them with you today. So know that you are
48:06
Speaker 1: not alone on this journey, and that God is yet
48:09
Speaker 1: working on your behalf. He's yet provided resources, He's yet
48:13
Speaker 1: provided people to help you through this journey. So now
48:17
Speaker 1: it's up to you to utilize them things. Tap into
48:21
Speaker 1: tap into them, y'all, Tap into that Jesus in you,
48:25
Speaker 1: and ask him to lead God and direct you, and
48:28
Speaker 1: then tap into all of the resources and all of
48:32
Speaker 1: the things that around you that can help you get through.
48:35
Speaker 1: And know that you are not alone. You are not
48:39
Speaker 1: alone on this journey, and it's okay to feel how
48:44
Speaker 1: you feel, y'all. I love y'all. I appreciate y'all. I
48:49
Speaker 1: hope you guys have been enjoyed these these daily devotions.
48:54
Speaker 1: Hope you will join join me starting Sunday as we
48:59
Speaker 1: start in this new book, we're gonna be doing We're
49:02
Speaker 1: gonna be journaling out, not journaling, We're gonna be going
49:05
Speaker 1: devotions out of another one of my books. This one
49:07
Speaker 1: is called and Bringing a Little Closer, so you guys
49:10
Speaker 1: can see a closer walk with I am that I am.
49:15
Speaker 1: It is a thirty one day team guy to exploring
49:18
Speaker 1: the Bible, y'all. So this probably this one here is
49:22
Speaker 1: probably gonna take us about about forty days, maybe because
49:25
Speaker 1: there's some extra stuff in here, and like we're not
49:28
Speaker 1: really gonna dive into the actual devotion yet, Like we
49:32
Speaker 1: got two sections before we get to the devotion that
49:37
Speaker 1: we gotta go through, Like we gotta do the exploring,
49:41
Speaker 1: like we got to do the introductions before we dive
49:44
Speaker 1: into the devotions. So y'all stick around, come back on Sunday,
49:48
Speaker 1: and this is what we're gonna do. If you want
49:51
Speaker 1: to order you a copy so you can have your
49:52
Speaker 1: own personal copy ass we journal through this, you can
49:56
Speaker 1: do that by going over to my website and that
49:59
Speaker 1: is ww dot Angela Thomas Smith books dot com. You
50:06
Speaker 1: can grab you a copy and y'all, we can start
50:09
Speaker 1: this on Sunday. We are starting on Sunday, but you
50:12
Speaker 1: can grab your copy and you can join us whenever
50:14
Speaker 1: you want to. And again, I thank all those that
50:18
Speaker 1: participated with the last book beyond site. Thank you for
50:22
Speaker 1: those that did purchase your copy, thank you, thank you,
50:25
Speaker 1: thank you for supporting. And again, you do not have
50:30
Speaker 1: to hurt in silence. Mental health is real, mental illness
50:35
Speaker 1: is real, and there is help out here. So know
50:38
Speaker 1: that you don't have to hurt in silence and suffer
50:41
Speaker 1: in silence. Y'all. I love y'all, and I pray that
50:43
Speaker 1: your day is blessed beyond what you can see in
50:45
Speaker 1: the natural. I pray that you have a great weekend. Y'all.
50:49
Speaker 1: It's Friday. I hope that you have a great weekend
50:52
Speaker 1: on purpose, because you definitely on purpose, because you are
50:58
Speaker 1: purpose and know that, y'all. I love y'all, and I
51:01
Speaker 1: pray you have a great day. All right, See y'all tomorrow.
51:09
Speaker 1: Mm hm