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Grief and Relationships | Sex PharmD · Pharmacy Podcast Network

0:05
Speaker 1: You are listening to the global network of podcasters dedicated
0:09
Speaker 1: to the pharmacy profession. Welcome to the Pharmacy Podcast Network.
0:37
Speaker 1: This is the.
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Speaker 2: Sex Pharm D podcast with your host, Dr. Nadia Archambault,
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Speaker 2: licensed clinical pharmacist and certified sex therapist. With a focus
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Speaker 2: on women's sexual health and wellness, Dr. A is here
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Speaker 2: to cover important health topics and answer all of your
0:52
Speaker 2: questions about subjects that can be applied to pharmacy practice.
0:55
Speaker 2: And now, here's Dr. A.
0:58
Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to another episode of Sex Pharm D.
1:01
Speaker 1: I am your host, Dr.
1:02
Speaker 3: Nadia Archambault. Today's episode is going to be about grief,
1:07
Speaker 3: and relationships, and that can be with other people and
1:10
Speaker 3: the relationship you have with yourself. I wanted to do
1:13
Speaker 3: this episode since I recently lost my mom, and I
1:18
Speaker 3: have been navigating my own grief.
1:20
Speaker 1: I've seen how grief.
1:22
Speaker 3: Can affect relationships, and I feel it is very important
1:26
Speaker 3: to address this. I heard this quote that really resonated
1:31
Speaker 3: with me. Grief doesn't listen to time. It's always there.
1:36
Speaker 3: You just learn to live with it most days. And
1:39
Speaker 3: then once in a while, it knocks the wind out
1:41
Speaker 3: of you. And I feel like this resonated a lot
1:45
Speaker 3: with me. So one big question is, how do we
1:51
Speaker 3: move on from a big loss? And thinking about that,
1:56
Speaker 3: the answer is not really about moving on or forgetting,
2:00
Speaker 3: but it's really just more moving forward and how to
2:04
Speaker 3: incorporate and handle the grief into your day so you
2:10
Speaker 3: can still live a positive and meaningful life. I really
2:14
Speaker 3: think that's important. I think it's important to not try
2:16
Speaker 3: to forget or push away the feelings. During this journey
2:22
Speaker 3: I've been on with my mom being sick and losing her,
2:26
Speaker 3: I came across a book written by Hope Edelman. And
2:31
Speaker 3: she wrote this book called Motherless Daughters. And in this book,
2:37
Speaker 3: she talks about losing her mother at age 17. And
2:41
Speaker 3: it talks about why your age at the time of
2:44
Speaker 3: loss is the most defining factor in how the loss
2:49
Speaker 3: of your mother shapes you. So basically, she lost her
2:55
Speaker 3: mother at a young age. I was very lucky to
2:58
Speaker 3: have had my mom for as long as I did,
3:00
Speaker 3: now at age 44. So I've had her for 44 years.
3:06
Speaker 3: So everybody loses people at different times and stages of
3:11
Speaker 3: their lives, and that can really be defining in your
3:14
Speaker 3: personal growth. And in the book, she terms it crossing
3:23
Speaker 3: the silent threshold, which is when you begin to outlive
3:27
Speaker 3: your deceased parent. So, for example, my mom died at
3:32
Speaker 3: age 73. So when I am nearing that age of 73,
3:37
Speaker 3: if God willing, I can make it that far, there's
3:44
Speaker 3: going to be what's called this whole mental shift that
3:49
Speaker 3: takes place. And when you experience this rite of passage
3:57
Speaker 3: or crossing that silent threshold, Edelman says it's normal to
4:03
Speaker 3: grow fearful about dying or experience like another new type
4:08
Speaker 3: of mourning when you're thinking about the age, when you
4:11
Speaker 3: are the age of when you lost, of when that
4:15
Speaker 3: person passed away. And she recommends that honoring this silent
4:22
Speaker 3: threshold by naming it and recognizing it when it comes
4:25
Speaker 3: is very, very important. And I actually had a, learned
4:31
Speaker 3: about this in my sex therapy training, which was very
4:33
Speaker 3: interesting because at first I was like, well, why, why,
4:36
Speaker 3: what does this have to do with sex therapy?
4:39
Speaker 1: Well, we studied, we had a case.
4:41
Speaker 3: Study of a male who had depression and sex addiction,
4:48
Speaker 3: and it all started around when he turned the age
4:50
Speaker 3: his father was when he died. So for example, and
4:53
Speaker 3: I don't remember, it was like somewhere in his fifties.
4:56
Speaker 3: So let's say his father died at 53 when he
4:58
Speaker 3: was turning close to turning that age or turning that
5:02
Speaker 3: age is when that all started. So I thought that
5:04
Speaker 3: was very interesting. I never really thought about that, um, before.
5:10
Speaker 3: And we talked about it in sex therapy and, and
5:13
Speaker 3: once that patient was able to identify that and realize
5:20
Speaker 3: that with working with this therapist, he was able to
5:23
Speaker 3: kind of move forward and start a healing process. Um,
5:30
Speaker 3: Some people were calling it a midlife crisis, but it
5:32
Speaker 3: was actually more that he was internalizing and grieving his
5:40
Speaker 3: dad all over again. And then also, I want to
5:46
Speaker 3: address that for women, grief during menopause is often unacknowledged.
5:53
Speaker 3: And this is a grief over the loss of youth,
6:00
Speaker 3: a sense of youth, a sense of fertility, a sense
6:03
Speaker 3: of identity. The emotional weight can be increased because we
6:09
Speaker 3: have our estrogen levels declining. Brain chemicals can be altered
6:17
Speaker 3: like your serotonin. And this lowers your body's physical ability
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Speaker 3: to manage stress. And This is something that goes unrecognized also.
6:32
Speaker 3: And I think it's important for us to recognize it.
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Speaker 1: I saw this.
6:39
Speaker 3: Whole term in Japanese medicine. Menopause is called, and I'm
6:46
Speaker 3: probably mispronouncing this. So if anyone knows how to pronounce
6:49
Speaker 3: it correctly, please let me know. It's called koneki. And
6:53
Speaker 3: they call it the years of renewal. And I thought
6:55
Speaker 3: that was really cool. So rather than treating it as
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Speaker 3: a medical disease, menopause being a medical disease, Japanese culture
7:02
Speaker 3: views it as a natural life transition. And the women
7:08
Speaker 3: in Japanese culture typically manage this whole phase of their
7:11
Speaker 3: life through traditional diet, herbal medicines, and holistic lifestyle habits.
7:17
Speaker 3: And some of the goals in the diet to help
7:24
Speaker 3: this are ways to control blood sugar. So, you know, stopping,
7:31
Speaker 3: when you're stopping insulin spikes that lead to that belly
7:36
Speaker 3: fat storage, crashes in energy. Another goal of that is
7:42
Speaker 3: to support gut health, supporting that gut microbiome, and that
7:47
Speaker 3: helps the body process shifting hormones like estrogen. And then
7:52
Speaker 3: diet to reduce inflammation, easing puffiness. that sluggishness you have
7:59
Speaker 3: after digesting food, mood swings. And, you know, they focus
8:03
Speaker 3: on clean hydration, whole nutrients, real food. And I don't
8:10
Speaker 3: want to get too much into diet because this podcast
8:13
Speaker 3: is about grief. But when I was navigating this, I
8:18
Speaker 3: thought it was interesting where they have, and this can
8:21
Speaker 3: help you also, because if you're in a grieving time, your.
8:25
Speaker 1: Body's going through a lot of stress.
8:27
Speaker 3: So it is important to eliminate any type of triggers
8:30
Speaker 3: that will increase, um, your blood sugar. So that will
8:35
Speaker 3: spike blood sugar. And it is often easy for people
8:38
Speaker 3: to turn to alcohol, um, processed foods, convenience foods, comfort
8:43
Speaker 3: foods when they are grieving. Um, so try as much
8:48
Speaker 3: as you can to cut out added sugars, those artificial sweeteners,
8:51
Speaker 3: things like that. Um, You want to prioritize eating protein,
8:56
Speaker 3: high fiber, healthy fats, and other natural foods or probiotics,
9:08
Speaker 3: fermented foods that help with balancing the gut and supporting
9:12
Speaker 3: natural hormone production. And then, of course, during times of grief,
9:17
Speaker 3: sleep is so hard. That's another thing that's so, so
9:26
Speaker 3: important for people is to focus on sleep.
9:30
Speaker 1: Moving, walking is a good one.
9:35
Speaker 3: If you can, depending on where you live or what
9:38
Speaker 3: time of year it is with the weather, taking a.
9:41
Speaker 1: Walk outside is so helpful.
9:44
Speaker 3: I know that's been really helpful for me. I have
9:47
Speaker 3: a dog, so I'll walk my dog when I'm going
9:50
Speaker 3: through a period where I'm really just getting very emotional
9:55
Speaker 3: about my mom and thinking about it.
9:58
Speaker 1: It really helps to get outside. And it doesn't have
10:01
Speaker 1: to be like rigorous exercise. I'm a runner. I love
10:04
Speaker 1: running too. So that helps me.
10:05
Speaker 3: But walking can be really powerful, especially walking in nature.
10:10
Speaker 3: And then, of course, drinking a lot of water, staying hydrated,
10:16
Speaker 3: I switch to herbal tea at night rather than a
10:18
Speaker 3: glass of wine or alcohol. And that helps my sleep
10:21
Speaker 3: a lot. Self-care is very important when you are grieving.
10:25
Speaker 3: And I think people forget about that too. They almost
10:27
Speaker 3: think it's selfish to focus on them when they're trying
10:33
Speaker 3: to focus on the actual grieving that person, trying to
10:40
Speaker 3: get everything done. There's a lot involved when you have loss,
10:46
Speaker 3: such as funeral preparation, making sure other people are being
10:49
Speaker 3: taken care of in your family. Um, so it is
10:53
Speaker 3: self-care is really important and, and people should not feel
10:57
Speaker 3: guilty about that.
10:58
Speaker 1: Um, I've talked about this before in other podcasts.
11:01
Speaker 3: Episodes where, you know, that whole, when you're on an
11:05
Speaker 3: airplane and the flight attendant, when the oxygen, if there's
11:08
Speaker 3: an emergency and the oxygen mask comes down, put the
11:12
Speaker 3: oxygen mask on you first before your, you know, ones
11:18
Speaker 3: that you're caring for, such as children or a parent
11:20
Speaker 3: or anyone like that, if you're a caretaker, because if
11:24
Speaker 3: you're not the best version of yourself, they're not going
11:27
Speaker 3: to be okay. So I think that's really, that's really
11:31
Speaker 3: important to you. You have to incorporate self-care and it's
11:34
Speaker 3: not selfish to take care of you also, because if
11:38
Speaker 3: you can.
11:38
Speaker 1: Be the best version of you, then you.
11:42
Speaker 3: Those that you're caring for will feel that energy also.
11:48
Speaker 3: So going back to different types of grief, it's also
11:53
Speaker 3: important to address when during menopause with women going through
12:02
Speaker 3: that midlife grief that some people get. And this is
12:06
Speaker 3: also for males too. So for females, it's that loss
12:09
Speaker 3: of fertility, you're closing a chapter of the reproductive stage
12:14
Speaker 3: of your life, even if you didn't want more children
12:17
Speaker 3: or never wanted children, it's still a whole mental and
12:22
Speaker 3: physical change that you're going through. For anybody, you're going
12:26
Speaker 3: through an identity shift. You're saying goodbye to your younger self,
12:30
Speaker 3: maybe some past roles that were tied to caregiving or
12:33
Speaker 3: on a physical level, And when you have a loved
12:39
Speaker 3: one that maybe you've been caring for for a long time,
12:41
Speaker 3: when they pass away, you're not only grieving that person,
12:46
Speaker 3: but you're no longer in that caretaker mode.
12:48
Speaker 1: And that's a whole shift also that needs to be recognized. Um,
12:54
Speaker 1: when you go.
12:55
Speaker 3: Through your physical changes, you know, you're adjusting to your
12:59
Speaker 3: body changing, your energy's lower. So these are all things
13:03
Speaker 3: that can affect, um, Your grief, that can affect your life.
13:10
Speaker 3: And then essentially that affects relationships too. And again, that
13:14
Speaker 3: brain chemistry for women, lower estrogen and progesterone levels, that
13:19
Speaker 3: directly affects your mood regulating pathways in the nervous system.
13:25
Speaker 3: And you have also, it's a reduced resilience to that
13:29
Speaker 3: everyday stress. When you think back like, wow.
13:32
Speaker 1: How did I get through college when I was younger?
13:34
Speaker 1: How did I do that?
13:35
Speaker 3: Because your body was different. Your brain chemistry was different.
13:39
Speaker 3: So things might start to feel slower, harder to carry,
13:43
Speaker 3: heavier to carry mentally and physically. So I've worked with
13:50
Speaker 3: couples who have experienced loss or individuals who experienced loss.
13:58
Speaker 3: And the first thing that I think is important is
14:04
Speaker 3: to understand name the loss, acknowledge that loss and sadness.
14:10
Speaker 3: Once you put a name on it, you can start
14:12
Speaker 3: addressing it. Again, prioritizing that self-care. And I also, of course,
14:20
Speaker 3: recommend if someone were to come, a friend were to
14:22
Speaker 3: come to me and they've just gone through this, I
14:24
Speaker 3: think it's very important to seek mental health professional or
14:29
Speaker 3: medical support. And with couples, I've seen a horrible, profound
14:40
Speaker 3: grief of losing a child, miscarriage, losing a child after
14:45
Speaker 3: they're born, as a baby, at any point, stage in
14:49
Speaker 3: the childhood. That is a whole other type of loss. And,
14:53
Speaker 3: you know, you never get over any loss. And I've
14:58
Speaker 3: seen people grow apart. It can end up in divorce.
15:03
Speaker 3: It can end up in a lot of hard times.
15:06
Speaker 3: for couples, because each individual grieves differently. So partners may
15:12
Speaker 3: grieve differently. One may express that outward sorrow while others
15:18
Speaker 3: maybe want more routine or internalize it and just want
15:23
Speaker 3: quiet and alone time. And it really is important to recognize,
15:28
Speaker 3: for partners to recognize that just because you grieve one
15:32
Speaker 3: way and the person grieves another way, does not mean
15:35
Speaker 3: it's a lack of care. So for example, one person
15:40
Speaker 3: may just want alone time or they want quiet time.
15:44
Speaker 3: And the other person may want to just talk about
15:46
Speaker 3: it and cry openly. And they may think that that
15:49
Speaker 3: other person who wants the quiet time doesn't care.
15:52
Speaker 1: And that's not the case at all. And that happens
15:56
Speaker 1: more often than not.
15:58
Speaker 3: And it's important to understand grieving styles. So again, some
16:04
Speaker 3: people have that They want to express it outwardly. They
16:07
Speaker 3: want to talk about memories. They need constant verbal processing.
16:12
Speaker 3: Other people may throw, you know, if they're workaholics, they
16:14
Speaker 3: kind of distract themselves with work. They want quiet routines.
16:19
Speaker 3: I'm kind of a little bit of both. I like
16:21
Speaker 3: my quiet time. And, you know, some people might see
16:26
Speaker 3: that as that I'm withdrawing. But for me, I like
16:30
Speaker 3: to just sometimes be alone with my animals. And that
16:32
Speaker 3: makes that can help me grieve and And it kind
16:37
Speaker 3: of puts me in a routine where getting that comfort
16:42
Speaker 3: for my animals, going to work, that helps me stabilize
16:48
Speaker 3: my thoughts.
16:51
Speaker 1: So it's very.
16:53
Speaker 3: Important for partners to express their opinion of what the
16:58
Speaker 3: other person is going through in a therapy session.
17:02
Speaker 1: And that may help.
17:04
Speaker 3: Them connect more And this kind of goes back to
17:06
Speaker 3: the love languages where everyone has a different love language style.
17:09
Speaker 3: And just because you are a physical touch person and
17:13
Speaker 3: you're giving that person physical touch doesn't mean that's their
17:16
Speaker 3: love language. So it's important to know that too with
17:19
Speaker 3: grieving style. It's the same kind of thing. And then
17:25
Speaker 3: it's also important when couples are together, communication is so,
17:32
Speaker 3: so important. So You want to name what you're going through.
17:38
Speaker 3: Say what you feel in a session or with your partner.
17:43
Speaker 3: Always ask instead of assume. Ask them if they want company.
17:47
Speaker 3: Ask them if they want space. That's important too. You
17:50
Speaker 3: can offer small choices. So sometimes people suffer from what's
17:58
Speaker 3: called decision fatigue. That's definitely something that I have experienced.
18:03
Speaker 3: where they can't even figure out what they want to
18:05
Speaker 3: eat for dinner. They can't even figure out what they're
18:07
Speaker 3: doing for the day.
18:09
Speaker 1: You're planning the.
18:10
Speaker 3: Funeral and you can't figure out what time to have
18:14
Speaker 3: the services. So that's a big thing too. So it's
18:18
Speaker 3: nice to help someone with that. If you have a
18:21
Speaker 3: loved one who's experiencing grieving or loss, or you're really
18:25
Speaker 3: good with that decision-making process, definitely help that person or
18:31
Speaker 3: offer to help. Um, and it's important with couples, partners, um,
18:40
Speaker 3: to use I statements. So speak about your own overwhelm
18:44
Speaker 3: instead of blaming the other person. So instead of saying, um,
18:50
Speaker 3: this is crazy, this is too much. I don't know
18:53
Speaker 3: why you're doing this.
18:54
Speaker 1: Just you, it's, it's good to say, I am feeling.
18:58
Speaker 3: Overwhelmed because, so using the I statement is, is, a
19:03
Speaker 3: good way to offset potential for an argument. And with
19:09
Speaker 3: couples setting boundaries or with family members setting boundaries, recognizing
19:16
Speaker 3: everyone's individual pain, accepting that everyone has their own way
19:20
Speaker 3: of coping. I liked this wording.
19:24
Speaker 1: That I saw.
19:25
Speaker 3: It said, accept that other people have their own unique
19:29
Speaker 3: relationship to the loss.
19:31
Speaker 1: And I thought relationship to the loss is very powerful.
19:34
Speaker 3: Everyone has their own relationship with it. Definitely with setting boundaries,
19:42
Speaker 3: make sure that everyone feels like they're in a safe space.
19:46
Speaker 3: It is no excuse for abuse, violent behavior, and things
19:49
Speaker 3: like that.
19:50
Speaker 1: Like that.
19:50
Speaker 3: So know that that's not okay if someone is treating
19:53
Speaker 3: you like that.
19:56
Speaker 1: And you have to let go of perfection.
19:59
Speaker 3: So You have to accept that you're not, you're both
20:08
Speaker 3: not going to agree or if there's multiple people involved
20:10
Speaker 3: in a family, there's not going to be 100% agreement
20:13
Speaker 3: on every memorial, every ritual, funeral service style. There's just
20:19
Speaker 3: gravestone that you're picking out, casket that you're picking out
20:23
Speaker 3: if they want to be cremated. What, what, you know,
20:25
Speaker 3: all of those things. It's kind of like wedding planning
20:28
Speaker 3: and I've seen it literally destroy relationships. Sometimes it can
20:32
Speaker 3: like cause so much strain. On the couples, it can
20:35
Speaker 3: cause so much strain on other people involved and it's
20:38
Speaker 3: just not worth it. So you have to sometimes just
20:41
Speaker 3: agree to disagree. So I think those are some important
20:45
Speaker 3: things also that I've seen help during times of grief
20:52
Speaker 3: is that communication and setting boundaries are the two really
20:56
Speaker 3: big ones. And again, not comparing one or the other.
21:03
Speaker 3: You know, if you're crying a lot, the other person
21:06
Speaker 3: isn't crying, doesn't mean that they're not upset. Does not
21:08
Speaker 3: mean that at all. Another book I came across that
21:18
Speaker 3: really came into my life at a very important time
21:23
Speaker 3: when my mom was getting.
21:24
Speaker 1: Sick was Emma Hemming Willis.
21:27
Speaker 3: She's the wife of Bruce Willis. And she wrote a
21:30
Speaker 3: book called The Unexpected Journey. And, you know, even though she's,
21:36
Speaker 3: you know, this is like celebrity status people, she really
21:41
Speaker 3: is just a regular person like everyone else. And she
21:44
Speaker 3: does admit that she has, you know, a lot more
21:46
Speaker 3: health help and money and resources than some other people.
21:49
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, she was treated
21:52
Speaker 3: a lot the same that everyone else is. She talked
21:55
Speaker 3: about how she left the doctor's office after so just
22:00
Speaker 3: trying to figure out what Bruce Willis had, what was
22:04
Speaker 3: causing all these things. And he ended up finally getting
22:08
Speaker 3: diagnosed with what's called frontal temporal dementia. And she left
22:14
Speaker 3: the doctor's office with a pamphlet.
22:16
Speaker 1: That was it.
22:18
Speaker 3: And she was on her own. And this is something
22:20
Speaker 3: that we need to address in our healthcare system where
22:24
Speaker 3: you're handed.
22:25
Speaker 1: You're literally.
22:28
Speaker 3: Given a specific amount of time to, you know, doctor
22:32
Speaker 3: may say you have about three months to live, you know, or,
22:35
Speaker 3: you know, you're given basically a death sentence with like
22:39
Speaker 3: a dementia type of slow, slow burn of, of a
22:44
Speaker 3: way to die. And you, you're given a pamphlet and I,
22:50
Speaker 3: you know, that really hit me, you know, I, I
22:54
Speaker 3: couldn't believe it, but I could because we've all experienced it.
22:59
Speaker 1: Um, There was no follow-up, you know, no, no real
23:03
Speaker 1: phone calls or, you know.
23:05
Speaker 3: Here's a pamphlet with a website about dementia and some
23:09
Speaker 3: resources to go to.
23:12
Speaker 1: And that was it.
23:14
Speaker 3: And so she had to kind of navigate this on
23:16
Speaker 3: her own. And she talks about how it's okay to
23:20
Speaker 3: ask for help. You know, they have children and it's
23:25
Speaker 3: okay to have self-care and It's okay to take some
23:29
Speaker 3: time for yourself. And of course she also says, you know,
23:31
Speaker 3: she has, you know, more time and money than some
23:35
Speaker 3: other people are. And she felt very fortunate for that.
23:37
Speaker 3: But for a while she thought she had, she felt
23:39
Speaker 3: like she had to do everything herself or else she
23:42
Speaker 3: would feel very guilty. And I thought that was very interesting.
23:49
Speaker 3: So that's a good book. I'm going to put that
23:53
Speaker 3: in the show notes also. She also talks about how
24:01
Speaker 3: she never even thought about this before, but when you
24:06
Speaker 3: have someone who's lost a significant other, lost a loved one,
24:10
Speaker 3: and you ask, you know, let me know how you
24:12
Speaker 3: need anything. If you need anything, I'm here for you.
24:15
Speaker 3: You know, and those are great check-ins, but she was getting,
24:17
Speaker 3: she talks about how she was kind of getting sick
24:19
Speaker 3: of people saying like, how are you doing?
24:22
Speaker 1: Well, that's a pretty simple answer. Not great.
24:25
Speaker 3: So it kind of made her realize, you know, wow,
24:28
Speaker 3: I actually usually ask that all the, you know, I
24:31
Speaker 3: I've done that before. And she thought, you know, what
24:33
Speaker 3: would something that would have been helpful for her would
24:37
Speaker 3: be if someone reached out to her and said, um,
24:43
Speaker 3: these are, these are three things I can do for you. Um,
24:47
Speaker 3: instead of saying, let me know if you need anything saying,
24:49
Speaker 3: you know, like, um, I can come by with some
24:51
Speaker 3: food tomorrow around one o'clock. Or I would like to
24:57
Speaker 3: drop off some food for you. Maybe food isn't a
25:01
Speaker 3: helpful thing. Maybe it's just, hey, I was thinking I'd
25:05
Speaker 3: like to help you out and watch the kids for
25:07
Speaker 3: a few hours or feed the cat or whatever. And
25:11
Speaker 3: I thought that was really interesting because I've done that too,
25:13
Speaker 3: where it's like, how are you feeling?
25:15
Speaker 1: Let me know if you need anything.
25:17
Speaker 3: And instead of just keeping it more and more open-ended
25:21
Speaker 3: question or statement where I'm hey, these are some ways
25:26
Speaker 3: I can help. How can I help? So I liked
25:30
Speaker 3: that actually. I thought that was really powerful. And I
25:36
Speaker 3: actually thought it was a very helpful book. And then
25:40
Speaker 3: I'll also put that book by Hope Edelman who wrote
25:43
Speaker 3: Motherless Daughters, another really great book. So those are just
25:51
Speaker 3: some thoughts I had. And I wanted to share with
25:55
Speaker 3: you all. I hope maybe some of you who are listening,
26:00
Speaker 3: there's maybe at least one thing that you can take
26:02
Speaker 3: away from this that you find helpful or useful because
26:05
Speaker 3: the grieving process is so, so hard and it really
26:09
Speaker 3: affects relationships and it can affect relationships you have with
26:15
Speaker 3: other people and most importantly with yourself.
26:20
Speaker 1: And know that it's okay to.
26:24
Speaker 1: Seek professional help, seek outside help, ask for help. That's
26:29
Speaker 1: really important.
26:33
Speaker 3: And asking people directly what they need or your partner
26:37
Speaker 3: instead of, you know, making people guess.
26:41
Speaker 1: So I think that's really important. On that note, I.
26:47
Speaker 3: Wanted to do our RX meter. And since when you
26:52
Speaker 3: are grieving sleep, is such a, such a hard thing
26:56
Speaker 3: to have to get good sleep. Um, you know, some
27:00
Speaker 3: people need prescription medication. Um, I try to go the
27:04
Speaker 3: more natural route and I've always loved magnesium. Um, taking
27:11
Speaker 3: a magnesium supplement at bedtime to help relax muscles, reduce anxiety. Um,
27:17
Speaker 3: I suffer from restless legs, so that that's helped me
27:19
Speaker 3: a lot. Um, but I came across this spray and
27:26
Speaker 3: you spray it on your body.
27:27
Speaker 1: It's a body mist.
27:29
Speaker 3: And I I'll put this in the notes. I found
27:32
Speaker 3: this one through, I actually found it originally on Amazon,
27:36
Speaker 3: but then I found the company it's called plus one
27:39
Speaker 3: and they have all types of wellness care. They have,
27:42
Speaker 3: they even have, they have massagers, they have sex toys.
27:45
Speaker 3: I mean, for men and women, it's, it's a really,
27:48
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, this is a pretty cool, pretty
27:50
Speaker 3: cool company.
27:52
Speaker 1: So I found this spray.
27:54
Speaker 3: It's called restful sleep, magnesium body spray, and it's nine 99.
27:59
Speaker 1: So it's really not that expensive, which is great.
28:02
Speaker 3: And it's there's, and so there's no melatonin and I
28:08
Speaker 3: can't do melatonin because I get really weird, vivid dreams.
28:12
Speaker 3: I can't take a lot of those PM over the counters,
28:16
Speaker 3: anything with Benadryl, like the diphenhydramine or anything like that.
28:19
Speaker 3: It just makes me groggy. And everybody's different. Everybody's different.
28:23
Speaker 3: But this has magnesium. So that helps relax your muscles,
28:27
Speaker 3: helps reduce anxiety. It has lavender, which promotes relaxation and
28:32
Speaker 3: a sense of calm. Lavender is very popular. Actually, I
28:38
Speaker 3: know in Italy and also having been over to Portugal
28:43
Speaker 3: a lot, a lot of people use lavender. They put
28:44
Speaker 3: some lavender drops on their pillow or spray.
28:47
Speaker 1: And that helps.
28:49
Speaker 3: promote relaxation. And then it also has ashwagandha, uh, which
28:55
Speaker 3: can help regulate the body's stress response. So you basically
28:59
Speaker 3: spray this, um, I spray it like on my feet, um,
29:04
Speaker 3: and my legs. It tells you like how many sprays
29:07
Speaker 3: to use, usually three to four sprays.
29:10
Speaker 1: You can just, sometimes I just missed it over my pillow. Um, and, um,
29:17
Speaker 1: I really like it. It's a clean formula. It has
29:21
Speaker 1: no parabens. It doesn't have.
29:23
Speaker 3: Anything that's animal derived. And I like it because I'm
29:30
Speaker 3: not ingesting it. It's a spray. It does get absorbed
29:33
Speaker 3: into the body, but it's just in a different way.
29:35
Speaker 3: So um, I will post that also. So you can see, um,
29:41
Speaker 3: the product. Um, and if there's a way I know they,
29:44
Speaker 3: they offer like a percentage off, like a 15 percentage off, um,
29:49
Speaker 3: if you subscribe to it.
29:50
Speaker 1: So you get like a, I.
29:51
Speaker 3: Don't know if it, I don't, I think if you
29:53
Speaker 3: can do delivery every month or every two months. So
29:55
Speaker 3: you do get a discount on that also. So I
29:57
Speaker 3: just wanted to share that. And on an Rx meter,
30:00
Speaker 3: I would say for me, it's a nine.
30:04
Speaker 1: It's not perfect. I still have some nights where I
30:06
Speaker 1: can't sleep.
30:07
Speaker 3: But for me, it's probably been the best thing I've
30:09
Speaker 3: tried as far as holistic approach. That's non-prescription route. So
30:15
Speaker 3: I'll post that in the show notes also. And I
30:19
Speaker 3: hope you all have a great day. I hope this podcast...
30:26
Speaker 3: was able to provide you with something that you can
30:29
Speaker 3: take away with and that you find useful.
30:33
Speaker 1: And for those of.
30:33
Speaker 3: You that are currently grieving the loss of a loved one,
30:37
Speaker 3: you are not alone.
30:38
Speaker 1: Just know that you're never alone.
30:41
Speaker 3: Have a beautiful day, everybody.