Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 33- Behaviour is the Messenger - Listening Beyond What We See

Transcript

Episode 33- Behaviour is the Messenger - Listening Beyond What We See · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer, and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:46
This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
0:53
and what it means to show up with presence and compassion,
0:57
both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hey everyone, and welcome back
1:13
to the Play Therapy Circle podcast.
1:15
I'm your host, Kylie Ellison, and I am so glad you are here,
1:21
guys. I feel like I start every
1:24
podcast like that and I just need to let our big guys.
1:28
If you have been having a tough week, when I say I see you like
1:34
I'm not even kidding, I see you. I was only saying to the guys
1:39
today, it feels like a week in two days.
1:43
We've lived a week in two days. So how are you guys doing?
1:46
How is it that it's the 1st of March on Sunday?
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Like for reals? I have been up since 5:00 AM.
1:54
That is not normally me. I'm not normally a morning
1:56
person. I have vlogged today.
1:59
I do a Tuesday Day in the life video for anyone who follows
2:03
follows us on my practise page. Oh sometimes I I think I post it
2:08
on the podcast sometimes too. If you follow us on Instagram or
2:12
Tiktok, you'll find us there. So I will do kind of a day in
2:16
the life to kind of say this is what I do.
2:18
And so I've been up since 5:00 because I do supervision with my
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incredible clinical supervisor, Doctor Jody Mullen in the US.
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So with the time difference, it's like a, well, I've I've
2:29
self inflicted it. I have offered I'm to do 5:00
2:31
AM. So I am completely the problem
2:33
here. And it's also like my commitment
2:36
to try and being organised this year, but I'm not yet a morning
2:40
person. So there you have it.
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So it's been a massive day and I can't even tell you how many
2:47
appointments I do today. There's just too many.
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And I need to be home, like leaving in about half an hour.
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So this is going to be a rapid fire podcast.
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Let's be real, I actually don't do that.
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It's probably going to be longer.
3:00
So I just want to say hello to everyone.
3:03
We are now in 44 countries, 44 countries across the globe that
3:08
we have listeners. So for any of you who are
3:11
listening outside of Australia, welcome.
3:14
You are so, so important and an incredible part of our Play
3:19
Therapy Circle community. So thank you so much for your
3:22
support. There is so many countries
3:25
listed on there. I can't list them all of what we
3:28
can see in the back end of of who Cheques out our podcast.
3:31
So I'm so grateful if you are sharing the podcast with fellow
3:35
practitioners. Thank you so much.
3:37
I hope that you are still finding this useful and helpful.
3:40
I was just writing it up. It's the 33rd episode.
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You guys, if anyone has been following me from July last year
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when I started this, I never thought I would have committed
3:50
to this for this long. I'm I am late diagnosed ADHD.
3:54
So like there is very little chance that when I start
3:57
something that I will finish it. So this if that tells you how
4:01
committed I am to this project it it certainly should.
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I just want to start off like it's Tuesday, right?
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So it's it, like I said, I feel like it's been a week in two
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days and I can't even tell you how much I feel that I have the
4:15
rest of the week. I am doing my clinical training
4:18
programme and we're starting with a new cohort of students.
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So I'm so excited tomorrow to connect with some beautiful
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people to start their play therapy learning journey.
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So it's so exciting. So I have a great rest of the
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week, but if you are anything like me, my To Do List is not
4:36
looking good to you guys. It is really long and it's not
4:40
making any progress, so pray for me.
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I think hopefully I should get to it tomorrow.
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Maybe not, I don't know. We'll see how we go.
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We'll see how we go. I'm hoping my mic is it's making
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a funny noise. I'm hoping on your end this all
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sounds OK as well. For anyone who has had a massive
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week in the last week since we've last connected, for those
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of you who do the incredibly important work of holding
5:08
children's stories in the playroom and supporting the
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children and families that you work with.
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I just want you to feel seen and acknowledged and recognised for
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the incredible important work that we do each and every day in
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the playroom to hear children's stories.
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So the topic for today, I obviously am always inspired by
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the stories that I hear from my supervisees, from the clients I
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work with, with the practise that we have and the incredible
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families that we get to connect with.
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And so today's episode I've titled Behaviour is the
5:42
Messenger listening beyond what we see Because I think that one
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of our superpowers as child centre play therapist, I'm going
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to call it that, but I don't know if it's actually referenced
5:56
anywhere with that. I'm just calling it that.
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I think one of our superpowers is the fact that when you really
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understand what children are telling you through play, that
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communication is very clear, but not necessarily to everyone
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else. So I think that one of the
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things that I want to emphasise in this broadcast today is
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around the idea of what I always say or behaviour is
6:22
communication. What is being communicated in
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the various ways that children show up in the playroom and how
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they present outside of playtherapy as well?
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Because all of that gives us incredible information that we
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as adults don't necessarily initially look for, but as play
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therapists are very skilled to do.
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So I want to kind of give that opening sort of question or
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wondering or reflection to start today around.
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What if it's the most honest communication the child has
6:53
their behaviour? What if that's the only way that
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they can honestly and truly and transparently tell their story,
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not through words, but through their behaviour and through
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their play? So I really want us to explore
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and unpack today, looking at behaviour as more being, not
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something that needs to be addressed and necessarily
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reprimanded or have consequences for.
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But what are they communicating? And what are they telling us
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about their world, their understanding of relationships
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with others and how they're doing from a mental health
7:27
perspective themselves? Because that's all a part of it,
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right? So what I think is challenging
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in modern parenting practise is we have so much information out
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there, right? And I, I've talked about this in
7:44
previous broadcast with you guys around that idea of, you know,
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going back to basics with parents.
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When I'm doing parent consultations, I'm not giving
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them a handout and 20 strategy. I mean, no one would give a
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parent 20 strategies, right? But I'm really working hard not
8:00
to overload parents because they just need a space for them to,
8:05
you know, be able to regulate themselves so they can regulate
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others. So that's really important.
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So I think that my message has always been going back to that
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Maslow's hierarchy of needs and and checking in with the parent
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and the family system, whether that's foster carers,
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residential workers, whoever that is that you're working
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with. But I think it's a really
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important part of the work that we do is communicating to
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stakeholders that behaviour as communication, not compliance.
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They're two very different things and I think if we go and
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understand children from the lens of their behaviour,
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communicating either an issue, a problem, an unmet need, an
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experience, something that's happening for them in their
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lives, our jobs as play therapist is to have a deep
8:54
curiosity around that. It's why certainly traditional
9:00
approaches that do a more directive style of intervention
9:05
with kids never really kind of landed for me anyway.
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I, I felt that it really kind of missed the child, their
9:13
viewpoints and what's gonna work for them as well as you.
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And so I know in child centre play therapy, we take that time
9:20
to understand what the child is communicating to us.
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And I often say to play therapist that what the child is
9:26
telling me about their issue and how they're coping is a great
9:31
launchpad for us in our parent consultations to say, Johnny's
9:35
telling me this in play therapy about the struggle that they're
9:38
having. And then how they try to
9:40
regulate afterwards. And then they try and please
9:43
other people and try and repair and fawn and do all of this work
9:49
afterwards because they're upset about that rupture in their
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relationship with their caregiver.
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And so that is a really great starting point to say.
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Is that what you're seeing outside of play therapy?
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And if that is the case, and if I'm onto something and I always,
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always say to my supervisors when I'm listening to their
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descriptions of play that play therapy sessions and sequences
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of play, and then I'm giving back that feedback to them, I
10:11
always caveat with and anyone who's listening who's my
10:14
supervisor, you will know as well, I will always caveat by
10:16
saying I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.
10:19
I really hope I'm wrong because and usually I'm not like just
10:22
spoiler alert, I'm usually not. And I don't mean that from a
10:25
conceited perspective. I think once you hone that skill
10:30
of listening to play and listening to the behaviour of
10:33
the child from their perspective about what they're
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communicating, you cannot hear it.
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And it becomes something that I really channel pretty quickly
10:42
now in my practise. And I know for those of you who
10:46
are more experienced would likely experience the same.
10:48
So when we're talking about behaviour, behaviour is the
10:52
nervous system language. So when we're talking about
10:57
verbal processing, that doesn't happen for kids because it's not
11:01
developmentally acceptable or accessible for them, right?
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It's not developmentally appropriate.
11:08
We know that children, especially when they're in
11:10
distress, especially when they're struggling with a
11:12
situation, when they're trying to communicate their feelings or
11:15
their viewpoints, are not going to do so with verbal
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communication. That's just not a part of who
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they are and how they work. Children will play it out and
11:24
they will show us through their behaviour.
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So what does that look like in the playroom?
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It looks like things like that fight, flight, thorn and freeze
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that we all know very well in the process of, you know, that
11:40
bottom brain stem being activated when they are feeling
11:43
threatened. So we know that this is part of
11:45
a child's presentation in the playroom alongside that concept
11:49
of the window of tolerance. We also know aggression can be
11:53
used and displayed in the playroom as protection.
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They're actually trying to protect themselves, but it looks
11:59
like aggression. So taking a minute to really
12:02
understand, and we talk about this from a very psychodynamic
12:05
lens in terms of child send and play therapy.
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And I really will try and get into more of those topics in the
12:10
coming weeks and months because I've just had so many
12:14
reflections and experiences around those times as play
12:18
therapist where we experience transference and
12:20
countertransference. So I want to talk more about
12:22
that in the weeks ahead. But when we're talking about how
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the child will put us in the position of them so that we
12:30
understand what's going on in their world, because
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developmentally they operate from that egocentric lens, we
12:35
can really start to understand the deeper meaning when we put
12:39
ourselves in the position of them and what are they trying to
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communicate with their behaviour.
12:44
We have examples of kids withdrawing or it become going
12:48
within as a way of keeping themselves safe.
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That's their way of communicating.
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It's not to become dysregulated, scream, cry, all of those things
13:00
in the playroom. Sometimes it's complete
13:01
withdrawal because they're in that fight or flight state.
13:05
They will absolutely try and control things in the playroom
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because what we know about kids who feel an external locus of
13:11
control when they feel like things are happening to them
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that they have no say over or have no voice of, they will try
13:19
and control and have predictability in the playroom
13:23
to feel that sense of safety. So we see that it's not just
13:27
them trying to dominate the playroom.
13:30
There's a, there's a deeper meaning there.
13:32
Chaos can certainly look like overwhelm in the playroom.
13:37
It doesn't have to be just in their play.
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It can be holistically, it can be in that transference, in
13:42
counter transference space. So it's really important that we
13:45
are not just looking at behaviour in the playroom and
13:48
saying Oh well, we're in the second stage of play.
13:50
I guess there's some aggression there that makes sense.
13:52
They're processing feelings of anger and frustration.
13:55
We absolutely need to be taking that step further to seek to
14:01
understand, and that comes from the therapeutic alliance that
14:04
comes from the therapeutic relationship.
14:06
We cannot do anything deep and and meaningful in the playroom
14:11
until we have established that working relationship with a
14:14
child, which we know is the first stage of play therapy,
14:16
right? It's the Walmart stage.
14:18
Once we've built that safety and trust, it means then both us as
14:22
the play therapist, but also the child has this opportunity to be
14:26
vulnerable. And we can't get there either
14:29
for us or the child if we don't feel that sense of safety both
14:32
ways. So once we have that, it's so
14:34
important that for us as play therapists, we have that courage
14:40
to sit in the uncomfortable, to connect at a deeper emotional
14:44
level, to really understand what is happening for the child in
14:48
real time, what they are telling us about their world and their
14:51
understanding of relationships with others.
14:54
So if you are finding right now that you are certainly as a
14:57
beginning play therapist, I'm more early in your career very
15:01
mindfully watching the play and making sure you're noting themes
15:05
and stages of play. Absolutely, there's nothing
15:08
wrong with that. I want to, for anyone listening
15:11
who really wants to expand their skills, I wanna give you that
15:14
invitation to expand your learnings and your processes to
15:20
consider what is happening emotionally in the playroom.
15:23
Not just reflecting feelings, but what do you notice in the
15:26
room in that transference and counter transference space that
15:30
really does give us that next layer of information that makes
15:34
our meaning making and our understanding of what the child
15:37
is communicating to us so much richer and so much more
15:41
valuable. So we absolutely are looking at
15:44
behaviour as communication 100%. We're looking at the playroom as
15:49
a space to be able to process those things.
15:54
And I think that this is where sometimes we really face
15:58
challenges as child centre play therapist.
15:59
And I know many of you experience this each and every
16:03
day, but, and we did the episode last week talking about, you
16:08
know, how kids communicate trauma and how we know that
16:11
children communicate that through play far more readily
16:14
than they do through verbal communication.
16:17
We also know that in the playroom, if they have that safe
16:19
place, they can begin to make sense of and understand what's
16:23
happening through their behaviour, through their play,
16:26
through their role plays, their action orientated sequences of
16:29
play, all of the things that happen in the playroom.
16:32
So what does that look like even more closely, if we're kind of
16:35
digging into that a little bit more, What do kids do in the
16:37
playroom? They'll certainly use symbolism,
16:40
so we know that they will use different objects in the room to
16:43
represent different family members, parts of their
16:46
experiences, to be able to express feelings and talk
16:51
through what happened to them. We know that there's repetition
16:55
of those play sequences and and what we call themes or those
16:58
issues. So we certainly see repeated
17:01
experiences of power and control, needing to be in
17:05
charge, needing to have a say, wanting to win, because outside
17:11
of play therapy, they may not experience that themselves.
17:14
And what they do in the playroom that we all know in that
17:18
behaviour, communication is put us in the position of them.
17:21
So what happens is we are then made to feel powerless.
17:25
We are made to feel like we have no choice.
17:27
We are made to feel like we have no say and no way out and no way
17:34
to kind of navigate things or advocate for ourselves because
17:37
that's the position they've put us in.
17:39
To understand their work. It is incredibly powerful.
17:43
It is a privilege and an honour, but it also comes with the
17:47
challenge around us understanding that and trying to
17:50
communicate that with other stakeholders, but not
17:53
necessarily them having that same experience because our
17:57
training is unique. We get to understand the inner
18:00
workings of children and we get to understand how they
18:04
communicate in their natural mode of communication, which is
18:07
play. It is absolutely not in verbal
18:10
community communication that children are going to express
18:12
their views, their wishes, their wants, their experiences, their
18:16
feelings. That isn't going to come through
18:19
verbal communication. It's always through that play
18:21
based work. So when we're looking at this in
18:24
terms of the ways that this shows up, we know this happens
18:28
in so many ways. Obviously, there can be
18:31
different testing of limits in the playroom.
18:34
They can be doing lots of role plays around huge sort of
18:39
outbursts of aggression and then that repair.
18:42
So looking at that attachment work and understanding how that
18:45
rupture and repair works, and certainly as I said earlier,
18:49
countertransference guys, when I say to you, it is the
18:53
cornerstone of the work that I do.
18:55
And for any of you interested in kind of going back to our
18:58
historical roots of child centre play therapy and how we began
19:02
and the precursor to child centre play therapy in the 20s
19:05
and the 30s around the psychodynamic psychotherapy
19:07
lens. I genuinely encourage you to
19:09
read up on it because it really gives us such a clearer
19:12
understanding of why in modern practise, transference and
19:16
countertransference. But countertransference for us
19:18
is absolutely essential for us to be able to understand at our,
19:23
at the core of what the child is trying to tell us.
19:26
So we know too that when we see this behaviour, it often helps
19:31
us to understand in the way that they engage with us, their
19:35
understanding of relationships with others that was formed in
19:37
those formative years experiences.
19:39
What that means is sometimes they may have a sense that
19:43
people, especially for children in the foster care system, they
19:47
may have a sense that people don't stick around, that people
19:50
aren't consistent in their lives.
19:52
And so they work through with us, trying to reject us before
19:57
we reject them, trying to push us away by testing us with
20:01
physical limits or like high levels of aggression.
20:04
And so we get to see that understanding of their
20:07
attachment relationships. So again, that doesn't just live
20:11
in the playroom. For those of you in the advanced
20:14
space, I want to plant the seed to you around that consideration
20:18
that play therapy and child centred play therapy lives
20:21
everywhere, you guys. It lives in our community, it
20:24
lives in our playgrounds, it lives in the shopping centre.
20:28
When we go to the shops and we see kids with their parents or
20:31
their siblings, it is absolutely everywhere.
20:34
All behaviour is communication. So I really want to encourage
20:40
you guys to be considering not only what we're seeing in the
20:44
playroom and the behaviour that they're telling us.
20:46
What is the counter transference that you pick up on?
20:49
What are you noticing in terms of that attachment relationship
20:53
and that attachment perspective that the child is sharing?
20:57
But also what then activates for us because we as child centre
21:02
play therapist, it's not about, you know, our issues and
21:06
problems in the playroom, but it is certainly about Ricky
21:09
organising that we bring ourselves to the playroom.
21:12
And so honouring that in terms of our understanding of what our
21:16
own attachment experiences is so that we can process that outside
21:20
of play therapy. But certainly noticing what
21:23
comes up for us is absolutely essential in terms of doing this
21:27
work. So I know along with that, we
21:29
can sometimes feel this need to, to fix or to jump in and help I
21:35
guess the child to feel better to console to if they are
21:40
feeling stuck or lost or struggling to make a decision or
21:46
any of those things that it could be so easy for us to fix
21:49
it. And what I want to say is we are
21:53
looking at certainly in the playroom, this incredibly
21:58
interesting space, which I just think expands us as
22:02
practitioners. I am and will always be a
22:05
lifelong child centre play therapist.
22:07
I'm I'm not in any way seeing myself as anywhere near
22:12
experienced in my field. After 10 years, 11 years, I have
22:15
so much learning to go and, and I think that that is the honour
22:19
and the privilege of the work that we do, that we get to grow
22:22
and become better versions of ourselves thanks to those kids
22:25
that we connect with in the playroom.
22:27
And so our own discomfort with dysregulation is something I put
22:33
to you as part of those reflections when we feel pulled
22:38
to fix it. Is it about the fact that we
22:40
feel uncomfortable with that presentation?
22:43
Do we feel, I guess that pull to fix it so that we can reduce the
22:48
noise, reduce the risk rather than being able to sit in the
22:52
uncomfortable? Does that resonate for you?
22:55
Does it feel like you have supervision pressure or parental
23:00
expectations or that tension between kind of containment and
23:04
control? And I think that that kind of
23:07
leaned into that dilemma for us as play therapist around
23:12
behaviour reduction versus meaning making.
23:15
And that really goes to and my, my response to that certainly
23:19
that I want to offer as a space of self reflection for any of
23:24
you listening is we obviously put therapeutic limits in the
23:28
room and we always have the rules of thumb around is it
23:31
going to hurt me, hurt the toys or hurt the child?
23:33
That is like our basic, basic tenants right of limit setting
23:37
and certainly the intention behind the ACT model is very
23:40
much around validating the feelings of the child,
23:42
communicating the limit and offering a redirection to help
23:45
them to develop those pro social behaviours.
23:47
That's the intention. I think that sometimes limit
23:52
setting can be over or underused.
23:55
So I think that it's certainly important that we are putting
23:58
therapeutic limits in early. If we put them in too late, we
24:02
end up missing that opportunity to help regulation for the
24:05
child. So absolutely those limits are
24:07
needed. On the flip side, I think that
24:11
if we don't put them in early and we let it go and we don't
24:16
want to necessarily interrupt to play.
24:18
And I, I had this kind of reflection not long ago with a
24:22
colleague who was talking about a child that would, you know,
24:27
make a mess in the playroom just before the end of the session.
24:31
So we literally kind of go through and pull the baskets
24:33
out, pull the toys out and create this kind of chaos before
24:37
leaving. And we had a really important
24:39
and reflective conversation. And it was, it was just so
24:45
special and important. And I felt very privileged to
24:48
have that conversation around the difference between allowing
24:52
a child to communicate what they need and understanding that that
24:56
behaviour is communication. And I hope I haven't lost anyone
24:58
with that. But in that example, what I
25:01
wanna share is and, and this far down the line, how I view it
25:05
differently to in my beginning practise, we're absolutely, we
25:09
do not want to the child to feel that we are shifting their
25:12
agenda or changing, you know, their perspective on things or,
25:16
or interrupting the play. We absolutely don't want that to
25:19
be the case. It's child LED and it's their
25:20
agenda. But I think that what we are
25:23
finding with so many children that we connect with in the
25:25
playroom is that they're actually crying out for those
25:28
boundaries and, and they do it in a way that is communicated
25:31
through their behaviour. So they are showing us that
25:34
dysregulation because they've got no other tools in their
25:37
toolkit to be able to communicate how they're feeling
25:42
in terms of that sense of urgency, in terms of that sense
25:46
of powerlessness, feeling like they have no choice, no say.
25:50
And so we, I want to offer that reflection that when we have a
25:56
child that might be showing us chaos in the world, 100% we want
26:01
them to show us that. But what I want you to notice
26:04
again, going back to our Freudian roots of that counter
26:08
transference, because I know for me now, me now eleven years in,
26:13
me a year ago, a year in to play therapy, very different story.
26:17
I would have had a very different answer 11 years down
26:19
the line. And lots of kids, you know, in
26:23
that incredible kind of memory bank I, I carry with me every
26:28
time I go into a playroom 11 years down the line, what I have
26:32
learned is that sometimes they're actually needing us to
26:36
pop or put those limits in because they don't know how else
26:40
to communicate their distress. So they are showing us their
26:43
chaos, but they're also seeking that attunement, connection and
26:46
attachment. And the difference for me now is
26:49
that I notice when I see a child do like that example of kind of
26:53
starting to pull those things out, I immediately notice what
26:58
comes up for me, not personally, but just in terms of that
27:01
counter transference space of noticing what happens in the
27:06
room. So often times what will happen
27:07
is it'll become, it'll feel like things are escalating.
27:11
It'll feel like the tension is rising.
27:14
It will feel like there's a sense of urgency or
27:18
unpredictability in the room. There's a sense of not knowing
27:22
what's going to happen next. There's a sense of oftentimes an
27:27
intentionality. And again, I am very much saying
27:30
to in the child space that this is unconscious, This is not them
27:33
consciously choosing to do this. But I think in that space, when
27:36
you feel that uncomfortability that comes up, when we start to
27:39
see kids really kind of pull those toys out, throw them
27:42
around the room 'cause that chaos, that is the opportunity
27:46
to respond to that feeling, to that counter transference, to be
27:50
able to support that child therapeutically.
27:52
So obviously we would put a limit in if they are creating
27:55
chaos in the room. But it's actually even more
27:58
important to say you have no other things you can say right
28:03
now other than to show me. But in here, the toys aren't for
28:07
throwing on the ground. I there is so important to show
28:11
me how you're feeling right now. We're here together and I and I
28:15
hear what you're saying. It is so important that we
28:18
validate what the child is trying to tell us at a deeper
28:21
level. So they don't need to continue
28:23
to play that out, play that out, play that out.
28:26
And, and making sure that we are offering that limit to them to
28:29
let them know that it's, you know, the toys aren't for
28:32
throwing on the ground and you can play with the toys that you
28:35
have on the ground. But I also want to kind of go to
28:37
a deeper level of making meaning in that moment that it just
28:41
feels so chaotic in here. There is so much chaos, so much
28:45
happening and it is so overwhelming.
28:48
Wow, this is a lot. There is so much happening.
28:52
And for me, even as I kind of role play that and channel that
28:55
of an experience of a child like that in the playroom, the next
28:58
thing that comes up for me in imagining what that child is
29:01
trying to communicate to me is sadness.
29:03
Because when we talk about that behaviour as being
29:06
communication, it's not just at that surface symptomology level,
29:09
right? There is always something deeper
29:12
in terms of that attachment experience, those formative
29:15
years experiences. And if you have a child that has
29:19
exhausted every other Ave to communicate how they're feeling
29:22
and are literally down to kind of that physical aggression,
29:26
vital flight, chaos and destruction in the playroom,
29:29
that is deeply sad. That is deeply heartbreaking to
29:33
see a child feel that that is the only way left they can
29:35
communicate. So I absolutely want them to
29:38
know that as Gary Lintrop would say, I hear you, I see you, I
29:41
understand and I care. So I'm not doing that.
29:44
If I just put limits in, I really, truly need to go deeper
29:48
to say to them in essence, I'm not necessarily saying the I
29:51
statement, but in essence saying to them, I see you, I see what
29:54
you're trying to show me. Life feels so overwhelming.
29:59
You don't know what to do next. It just feels like chaos.
30:03
It feels like too much and it's exhausting and it's so sad.
30:09
Like really, really, you guys kind of getting to that core
30:12
level because where else in a child's world are they going to
30:16
truly have their behaviour validated in a way that meets
30:19
that core kind of issue of what they're trying to communicate to
30:21
us? Not that surface level.
30:23
I always say to my students, if we are just looking at the
30:27
symptomology, if we're just looking at the behaviour, we, we
30:29
miss the child, we miss the child.
30:32
I went sideways with that conversation.
30:34
That was definitely not on my plan.
30:36
I'm looking at my plan and I'm like, Nope, that was not what I
30:38
had planned today. I really hope that like this is
30:41
what happens when I connect with my supervisors, when I do
30:44
training. And you guys know, for any of
30:46
those that have been listening for a while, you know what
30:48
that's like. I go sideways.
30:50
But I want to wrap this up because I need to get my
30:54
groceries delivered. We have things to do, but I hope
30:59
that this has been useful. I, I always want to kind of go
31:01
back to that intention of every podcast to make sure that this
31:04
makes sense, that people feel seen and heard because that's
31:08
the intention. I live and breathe my CCPT
31:10
tenants. If I'm not helping support you
31:13
guys to feel seen and heard, I've not done my job either.
31:15
So I hope that in sharing my experiences and, and I guess
31:21
certainly in the context of this, we're not discussing any
31:24
client examples specifically. This is more generally to kind
31:28
of give you guys that education around potential reflections to
31:32
any child that you're working with.
31:34
But I think that we have as child centre play therapist,
31:37
such an incredible calling. And when I tell you guys that I
31:41
have felt that calling now more than ever.
31:44
And I think that having the podcast is part of that, that I
31:46
get to share my advocacy of child centre play therapy, but
31:50
also the work that child centre play therapists do each and
31:53
every day in the playroom, which is just the most important work
31:56
out there in terms of child counselling.
31:59
There are so many incredibly important child counsellors out
32:01
there just to kind of, you know, support all of our community.
32:05
But you know, when we are able to support kids in the playroom
32:08
and hear their story and help them heal through play, it's
32:11
just such an incredible privilege.
32:13
So we get to advocate for kids in doing this work.
32:16
So what I would like to offer you in terms of some of these
32:21
reflections to tie it back together and to wrap this
32:24
episode up is when we silence behaviour, we silence the story.
32:31
Let me say that again. When we silence the behaviour of
32:35
the child, we silence their story.
32:40
When systems demand compliance, the children lose their voice.
32:47
When systems demand compliance, children lose their voice, and
32:52
play therapy becomes an act of resistance against reductivism.
33:00
Whoa, whoa, you guys, oh man, I don't know about you, but just
33:04
having this conversation today and just sharing this
33:06
information just feels so good. It just feels so confirming for
33:11
me, and I hope that it has been confirming for you too.
33:15
I want you to know, for each and everyone of you listening right
33:17
now who are working in the playroom each and every day and
33:20
doing the incredible child centre play therapy work that
33:23
you're doing, that your work matters.
33:25
Your work matters. It is so important and I am so
33:29
proud of you because this is not easy work.
33:33
It is hard, tough going some days.
33:36
And our job of being able to advocate and hear children's
33:40
stories and communicate, that is so incredibly important.
33:45
And so I am so grateful to each and everyone of you across the
33:48
44 countries that are listening today for all of your work that
33:53
you are doing in help shape children's lives.
33:55
I was reminded this morning, connecting majority that you
33:59
know, when endings happen in child centre play therapy, and
34:02
we've talked about this in a previous episode, when they
34:04
happen, what's so important for us to remember is that the child
34:09
will remember how we made them feel years and years after we
34:14
finish our work. And hopefully we've left them a
34:17
little lighter and hopefully we've helped them heal.
34:20
So I am so grateful to each and everyone of you.
34:23
Hey, we have like so much. Oh my God, it's 5:00.
34:26
I literally need to go. I gotta go wrap this up.
34:30
We have so much going on. So please jump over to our
34:33
social media. That is where everything is and
34:35
will happen. So please go to at the Play
34:37
Therapy Circle podcast on Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok.
34:41
If I remember to post on Tiktok, I will.
34:43
We are holding our very first conference.
34:45
The Play Therapy Circle is coming together.
34:47
We are meeting in person in October in Brisbane and we are
34:52
so excited to have our child centre play therapy community
34:55
together for a 2 day immersion experience.
34:58
You guys, it is going to be so great.
35:00
Me and Jody two days, we want you there like come along, be
35:05
part of this community because we absolutely endure and
35:07
appreciate each of you. For those of you who are
35:09
international, we are going to be recording so that you can
35:13
access it afterwards. So we want to make sure that our
35:17
international play therapy community, if you can't make it
35:19
to Australia, we want to make sure that you get access to.
35:21
So stay tuned to our socials and to our website.
35:25
Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for your
35:27
support. As I always say at the end of
35:30
every podcast episode, be kind to yourself and each other.
35:33
Look after each other because you guys this matter and you're
35:35
important. Thank you so much.
35:37
Big love to all of you. I will see you next week.
35:40
Bye. Thank you so much for being here
35:46
for another episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
35:50
If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
35:53
follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
35:56
short review. It really helps others find our
35:59
circle. And if you have a topic or
36:01
question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
36:04
you. This space is for you, and I
36:07
want it to feel like a conversation.
36:10
Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you belong
36:15
here.