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Transcript

Lil Fine Shyt · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Big Tam Bam?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Y'all, it's Tam Bam. I love y'all so so very much.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I love you to AJ. How you doing.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I'm fine, y'all.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: We just got finished.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: So that's why, bitch, I'm fine. I don't think we
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: should all the things bitch. I was outside Saturday.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: It was cute too.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm posted my dress. Yeah I bought that dress.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Uh So let me back up a little bit. All right,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: So y'all, there there are some elite black people in Charleston,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: thank god. Okay, No, people be thinking Charleston just is
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: super ratchet. But this little crowd of people like from
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: age I don't know, like thirty five to thirty eight,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: like they really be having shit going on here. So
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: don Lucci Prosecco and Rose is your first black owned
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: uh wine brand in South Carolina. Okay, Yeah, so they
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: had their Ruby the Ruby event this weekend, and I
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: did do like a little brief interview sweating late per usual.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I'm never really late. I'm gonna stop saying that. I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: think I always be on time because I might have
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: missed the accident early. No, they got there when they
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: were supposed to, and.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I that's full shit, that's what way to look at it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I got there when I was supposed to
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: because I still got things done. But man, the shit
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: was outside. It was hot as fuck. But it was beautiful. Okay,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: it was so beautiful. And these men they pay attention
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: to the very small, intricate details of everything. The girl
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: they had caveat. They had pizza with their little brand.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Everything was branded, the candles, the pillows on the on
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: the sofas.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: They had somebody sitting there paint because it wasn't a museum,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the Gibbs Museum here in Charleston, so they had their
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: there are different. They got three different wines and champagne.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: They had it like you know how you put in
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: like the glass case like a museum. It was so nice.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: You go in the bathroom, they got the bottle with
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: the little lampshade on it, like like, how y'all know
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: to do this stuff? Everything smallest details? Yes, I love
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that it was so nice, and yes, I had my
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: little dress on. Chak, I saw you I had it
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: was a couple of pounds for that dress because I
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: have bought that dress for in April to wear to
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: remember that movie premiere. I went to Miami. I bought
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: it to wear there. But the ship was too fucking
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: tight because that ship is one hundred percent cotton. It
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: ain't no stretch. It's either you getting in it and
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: there you're not. Yes, And I got in there. I
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: got in there. I don't pull some pictures. And then
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: we went out Sunday. We went for brunch Sunday.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Sitting up so good. You haven't it didn't.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Look like nothing, girl, girl, I almost put a brawn.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I glad I didn't boy, because that would have been milking.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And I had ship on underneath that dress. Nothing.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I think like since I lost weight, I lost titties too,
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Like I just think I need a boy.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: So at this point, leave them titties alone, because I know,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: you know people who have since gotten them titties removed.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I just up at the top, like it's all sitting up.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: We'll get the fat transferred to the titty down't see
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: how long that last? Instead, I wonder if I get
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: my back exactly. My homegirl had got her body done
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: in Saint Louis a long time ago, very like whoever
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: she wants to. If I get some shit done, I'm
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: flying to Saint Louis because it was like very very natural.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Because I want something. I put my fat in my
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: titty because.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't get titties though. So what her doctor told
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: her is that all of all the women, the white women,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: all want the fat put into their titties, and all
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the all the black women want the fat put in
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: their ass. So she got the fat to the ass. Okay,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: so she ain't get no titties.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Take my back, put it in my boots.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: And if you need some extra fat, I'll don't how
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: big you want them.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I just want I don't even want bigger titties because
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I don't want big titties. I just don't want like
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: they just all my girth is at the bottom. It's
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: just like a slope, like a beginner's ice skin slope.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: You go flat across the top and then like a
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: little cuppage at the bottom. I hate that. So I
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: can't fill out of dress. I can't like it's so
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: weird because dresses, like, because I'm so bottom heavy like
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: the top, they'll assume that you got something up top,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: so it just be like empty in the top and
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: like real full at the bottom.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: That little stuff it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Don't it's too tight at the bottom. We'll struggle with that.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm. But that was my outside. I was outside
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: all weekend, y'all. We did a Sunday fun Day brunch
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: from I was outside from one to eight on a Sunday.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Oh you was outside this week? Yeah.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Now I'm recuperating, bitch, I've been fasten. I'm not eating
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: until Thursday. This watering the water fast. So yeah, don't
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: be getting my nerves. That was the first thing I said.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: It's like, girl, I'm like really like texting you back,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: like I haven't ate. I'm gonna need you to get
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: off my nuts because don't y'all sucking hung Im about
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: to take a bite out of crime.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: If someone saying can you send that a SAP, does
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: that mean right then or does that mean as soon
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: as possible? I thought, as yeah, let us know what
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: y'all think. Somebody say I need this a SAP versus
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: can you send that as soon as possible? Afterny for
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: as soon as possible.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Which one y'all prefer. Don't tell me to do shiit
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: asap because I can't.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: I can't do nothing A sap sandwich, that's a problem.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: You had to say what She would have just read
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: that and be like cool. But because she was hungry,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: it was all like crazy.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Or because I had a lot of shit to do.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: So listen, my weekend. It was my besties dad's seventy
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: seventy seventy. I can't seventieth birthday say that shit to
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: save my life just now. And they were supposed to
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: go to New Orleans and all the flights out of
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Charlotte got canceled from for a storm. It was like bad,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Like the airport was just crazy.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: It was raining.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: No, it was just lightning storm.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. It's been happening over the whole country. One
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: of my people in Texas was saying they had an
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: electrical storm, Like so shit was going out because of
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: the thunder and the lightning.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't raining, It wasn't. It was
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: just like the real sharp So they just couldn't fly
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: and like a couple of my clients got grounded. They
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: were going to New Orleans, my friend her and her bad.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: So we was like, we want to still make his
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: birthday a good one. So we took him to this
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: restaurant in Charlick called Deluxe Fun Dining where the food
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: comes out on like all these crazy trays and smoke
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: and like different stuff. And we started we were drinking,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: taking shots, and this man could drink. I like, I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: haven't been drinking in a long time. And last week
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: when I could drink, I just had me like an
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: espresso martini. You know, I didn't really like go crazy,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: but Saturday I had four shots of tequila. When I
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: tell you, I was down bad Sunday and Monday, like
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: so bad yesterday that my blood pressure was one one
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: ten over fifty eight.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Oh hell no, bitch, I was so dehydrated. That was
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: so dehydrated and need to go get some PDA.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah I did, I did. I got me. I got
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: a watermelon and I ate a whole watermelon and I
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: drank four bottles of water in Apedia, like just to
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: get myself back together. But yeah, that was my weekend.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: We turned up for his seventy years.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: That's fun.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a good time. But I don't think
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I like liquor no more. I think I'm done with liquor.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: That's not my homegirl. She just had a baby, and
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: she was like, I don't think I'm a drink no more.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Like I don't even miss it, Like why I'm drinking.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it is poison, you know. I'm always
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: consciously aware of what it is that I'm partaking in,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and every time I drink, I'd be like, man, I'm
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: just poisoning my body. And that's why I don't drink often.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I might go outside five times a year for real,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: five six times a year, So I'm drinking five or
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: six times for real, like aside from like a vaca.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: If I go on vacation, I'm drinking. If I go
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: like outside a Saturday, I might have one or two drinks.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I don't indulge that often, and when I do, I
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: be fucked up the next day. Luckily, I ain't drink
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: nothing on Sunday, but I did drink a little bit
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: on Saturday, and luckily I was all right.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Luckily, me, me and my best friend get together. We
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: just be fu like.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: It's just fun. I want to be loud and cussing
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: and talking loud like I don't want to be sober.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Everybody else drunk because nah, I'm like.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Mad, irritated. Yeah, y'all are ignorant, you know, but that
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: was my weekend and now I'm finally getting back. I
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: couldn't even go to the gym yesterday, y'all. It was
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: so bad, Like my doctor was like, if you try
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: to go to the gym with this blood person right now,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: you might faint. Just stay home, drink water and put
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: your feet up. So yeah, that's what I did. But
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going today to this evening.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Let's getting the sins they doe. So apparently female frogs
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: take their death to avoid meeting with males they don't
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: find attractive.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: It's not just us, it's not us.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: The only difference is if we fake our fucking death,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: the nigga stole might come and try to hump on
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: your ass, right.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: They like they're talking, full body limp, floating upside down,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: even holding their breath. It's the ultimate ghost move for
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: a frog, like I'm dead. I'm dead.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Now, I did that in a relationship now, pretending like
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I'm sleep like we get in might that I'm planning
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: to have sex and all that shit I done changed
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: my my mind by the time we get home, Like
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm pretend sleeping hard as hell.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I definitely pretended to be sick to not have to
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: do it. I ain't think i'mna rock bucket.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Like we gotta do this.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it just don't feel like it, you know.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you can't deprive your partner of sex.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: But god, damn, I'm gonna just be acting like a frog.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Be dead.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I'm dead. That's our little kids be. I've then one
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: eye open. I'm dead now. They't gonna be like, OPI
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: your mouth.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: They do not care.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: We're dad man. They're still trying to hump on you.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm frogs.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Statistically, if you live in Utah, you're more likely to
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: get married than if you live anywhere else in the
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: United States. According to the CDC and Sisters dadd and
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: you Tak consistently ranks among the top states for marriage rates,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: with over twenty one point nine marriages per one thousand women. Damn,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: that's it, well above the national average. With culture, community values,
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: or early commitment norms. Utah makes marriage more common than
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: anywhere else. You know.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: You sent this post to me and when I saw it,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I went to go google. Are people in Utah generally pretty?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: And they actually? You know, because I was thinking, like,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: you know, I started his post on Instagram one day
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what I can't remember what city
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: it was, but he was like, man, everybody in the
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: city ugly.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: How about Columbia? So I'm Carolina.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: No, Colombia is not ugly. People in Columbia are not ugly.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: So but remember that man was like, yo, I'm in
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Colombia and all these bitches is ugly and they ate
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: him up.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Oh we had him on the show, I remember. But meanwhile,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: you're looking like, I don't know, doctor Umar reject, Like
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you look like a doctor Umar reject, right, Like.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: How do you do that? And they call it somebody ugly?
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Columbia has very beautiful people. But I can't remember
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: what city this person was in, but he was just like,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I see why everybody coupled up here. Everybody ugly. So
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking about Utah. But apparently Utah
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: is like number twelve on the list for most beautiful people.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: So maybe that's where I need to go. Looking from
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: our partner.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: You gonna get your partner for sure, a partner in Utah.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know who the fuck is living in Utah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Maybe they got a good military base with some niggas
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: hidden over there. See about it, Yeah, Utah. So another
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: study shows by age thirty five, many women have stopped
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: chasing fairy tale expectations and instead they seek peace and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: financial stability from their relationships. Study shows it says by
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: the time they reach their their mid thirties, a lot
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: of women begin to shift their focus away from intense, drama,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: fhill passion passionate relationships and instead look for something more grounded, peace, stability,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: and real partnership. After years of dating and going through
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: different phases of life, their outlook naturally matures. Instead of
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: chasing fleeting excitement, many now seek emotionally healthy connections, absolutely
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: strong compatibility, and financial dadiness. Okay, that is very important.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: It's so funny because I was on the phone with
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: our producer Taylor yesterday and I was just talking about
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: this nigga ot and uh gave back to the streets
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: and she was like, you know, talking to me about
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: like the fairy don't you want the fairy tale? And
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, I don't believe in that no more.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: And she was like I was like, girl, yes, I
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: don't believe in no fairy tale in it no more.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: What I want is And it's so funny because the
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: things that are listening listen here is exactly what I said.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Let me finish up the things like. It says, things
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: like emotional intelligence, shared values, in common direction, and life
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: start to matter more than chemistry alone.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why it's so funny you said this, because
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I was just having that conversation like I don't need
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: all of that no more. I don't even want no
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: fine nigga, no more like fine, ben off the list
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: of what I want. I mean, don't get me wrong.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: I take a but it's not on the top of.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: You take a little fine shit.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah I was. I take a little five ship now.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: But it says the change isn't about giving up or settling.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: It's an intentional choice. Experts say that this shift is
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: influenced by everything from social excuse me, from societal pressure
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: and biological clocks to professional goals. So for many women,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: it's about finding lasting happiness in a sense of security.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And I think that because women are, you know, putting
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: their happiness at the forefront. You don't a set a
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: lot of things, especially when you're happy with yourself like you,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: then you know your self esteem is up. I say
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: this all the time. People date based on their self esteem. Recently,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Decisions Decisions is on the Breakfast Club, you know, and
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: we did one of our earlier shows with them, and
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: we talked about this and maybe on this episode, right,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: maybe I don't know. On another episode we talked about
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: how that hole and don't heal like now older? Right,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: we were older than them, obviously we're older than them,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: but I was trying to tell them the future. Then
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: they didn't get it because they were still having fun outside. Right.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: But you will come to a point where none of
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: this shit matters and you're gonna look back at your
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: old self, like, what the fuck was I doing? And
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: why the fuck was I fuck with these people? These
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: niggas can't now see my pussy today? Yeah, A J.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Asked me about this guy she saw at the party
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: that I used to date. She was like, remember that, God,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I was like who she was like describing him? And
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I kept saying, who bitch, And she's like, are you serious?
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Or you do you know who I'm talking about? I said, oh, bitch,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: cause you.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Did that the last time I asked about that dude
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: because I saw him another time.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Who knows?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, So we started, like you know, you just
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: start prioritizing different things in life, Like you know, I
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: still want to find little shit because I don't have
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: any kids. I want to make sure I got a
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: super fine kid. You know, I'm not that selfish.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I don't care about fine.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I don't want no ugly ass nigga, but I don't
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: want I don't care about him.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: You gotta be fine to me. Yeah, to me, that's
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: all that matters. I don't revamp my whole LOWD list,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: right the things I'm trying to manifest in a partner.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I care more about fitness now than the.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Fine exactly exactly. I get on my ass, let's go
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: to the gym, let's do all the things. And then also,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you know, what's really important to me is like diet,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: because I don't feel like having to cook somebody something different,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: like I need people to be on my diet. I'm sorry,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: and it's people out there on my same diets where
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I don't got to touch chicken for them or touch
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: a piece of steak. They gonna eat. What the fuck
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I eat? I need a little baby, ask and listen.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Because I want a piece of steak, give.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Me, Well, you go out and get it. I shouldn't
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: have to touch it, because it's more real spiritual for me,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: like the consumption of meat. I don't want to shit.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: I'm leaning towards like I'm trying to really stop eating seafood,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: but it's just so hard because I'm a fishead from Charleston,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: South Carolina. It's hard for me not to eat seafood,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: but I'm do it one day.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: You're a chickenhead. I don't know how this hample to you.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I'm a fish head. You a chicken head. I don't
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: know what you what y'all got in Columbia? What Columbia got?
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Like? What is Columbia like known for aside from being
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: the capital.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I was just thinking the Confederate flagshit, Like what y'all
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: got the flag?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: What the fuck else is going on Columbia? Like esthetically
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: don't even look good? Like I just always was depressed.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: The landscape isn't nice.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: There's shining faces and beautiful places.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Like, what the fuck is the trees and the flowers?
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: And shit? We got palm trees and Charleston.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, where is the Yeah, where is the palmtal tree
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: that they always talking about on the flag? Y'all?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Damn in the middle of the state. Y'all ain't got nothing.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Y'all ain't by the water.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking a little fine shit, let's get into it.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: We'll be right back. I ain't seen aj Sis April
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: in person, like we get together. We record every week,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: but it's been audio. We're back filming. As soon as
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: she walks in the door, she don't even say hi
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: to me. Y'all.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: She says, you look like a dyke. I said a
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: little bit more high pitched though, Like nice though.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Say how you said it?
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: You ain't a dyke.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I'm chilling. It's a big chilling vibes.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: It's hot. We don't never coordinate. That's a problem. See,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: i'd be oneing like maybe I should have this on
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: my wrists, right, So you want to dress alike, not
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: dress alike, but coordinate, like we really like two different people. Yeah,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I know, but we can still like be cohesive a
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: little bit. You know, that's my favorite.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: We are cohesive this I only packed dress one hundred
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: thousand degrees outside.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: You got a sweat past, So what are we talking about?
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: That's all I got loose. I thought you had just
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: off the road or something. Let's let's get in a
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: five shy month. It's pride month.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: It is shout out the prime month. But I'm not gay.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: But I love him today because it's Sunday. Other than
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: that that asked me, I am not those promote that,
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: all right, I won't.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry anyway, y'll you know what I want to
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: talk about today because I am having a lot of
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like we both right, alright, we have a
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: lot of transitioning going on in life right now. And
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: y'all know we like real young too. But I don't know,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like at this age, you still end up
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: in these these situationships with people. I know.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Listen, the last ten years, it's been a see all
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: of them. I haven't had like a solid that's my man,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: my man and my man. No, it's been situationships.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: I haven't had a situationship in a long time. I
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: always end up in relationships. But I'm like, do I
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: need it a situationship?
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I think yeah, I think you should like calm down
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: on claiming a nigga so quick.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: At this age, at this young age.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Because you just need to I like, just see what
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: it is, you know.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I don't thought that type of time but for the
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: younger folks. But I feel like we at this nice age,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: we still end up in situationships. And what qualifies as
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: a situationship in today's dating whatever we got going.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: On, So chat GPT did not answer the question for us,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: So let me tell you what I think.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Listen.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: I think a situationship is a relationship without any real
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: boundaries or parameters or like title. That's all the situationship is.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Y'all in a relationship, but y'all don't give it a title.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: So my definition of situationship because one person is probably
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: in a relationship. Any other person is in a situationship.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: A lot of times when people start labeling things as
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: a situationship, one person usually doesn't know where they are
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and they want to be in a relationship, but the
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: other person is essentially putting them into a situationship.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: No, they're not committing It depends It depends because it
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: could be like two single people, or it could be
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: one single person and want somebody that's in a relationship already,
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: or it could be somebody in jail, it is somebody
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: free like, it could be all kinds of things that
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: make it a situationship. And that's why they don't put
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: a title on it, because they can't or they don't
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: want to.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I think oftentimes one already wants to put a tie
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: on it, right. I think sometimes people are escaping like
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: having to be like really like intimate, you know, having
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: to express real intimacy with somebody, So they put them
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: in this situation box where they're left in limbo and
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: don't really know if they're in a relationship with this
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: person not. But y'all doing all the things. See, I
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: went from a city, yes bitch, you are, and I
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: literally went from a situationship straight into an engagement. And
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: this person really didn't consider us being in a relationship
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: until he gave me a ring. Does that make sense?
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Anybody that's manipulation, right, that's retarded?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Can I say that, Yes?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: You can? Trump is president, you can stay retarded. Okay,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: that's just hated. But it left me feeling like, am
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I tripping? Like because in his mind, I believe he
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: thinks because you know, he didn't have to be he
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be accountable the things he did prior
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: to the engagement, right, all the fucked up things. We
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: really wasn't together when that happened, but we was building
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: businesses that we were absolutely together. So this is why
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. Oftentimes one person is in a relationship, they
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: define the thing that they have going on as a relationship,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: but the other person gets to say, well, I just
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: real murky.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I prefer I have been known to prefer.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: A situationship. No, I don't prefer. I don't like me
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: is just so boxed.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: It has been so boxed in for me, I start
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: feeling like claustrophobic and like I can't breathe.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe I'd be like that too, And that's
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: why it's just it's almost like at two years, I
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: get kind of antsy mm hmm, I get kind of like.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: So you start feeling like you're ready to leave? Yes,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: I start feeling stuff, That's what I'm saying. Like I
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: started as soon as we start talking about like being exclusive,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: That's when I start feeling like and it's just just.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Way before two years at least, I'm in the relationship
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: and you're feeling stuffy. You like, soon then they can
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: start talking about a relationship about it, and.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think that's about?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Though we already talked about this, Timmy, you like the
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: unavailability of people. I think you know what I'm saying.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: So I don't know, and I might also I might
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: be the same way, right, but I'll stay in a
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: thing a little bit longer than you do.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: But that's not true. I just don't put a name
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: on it.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: That's a fact.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I just don't put a title on it. I just
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I struggle with that. Once we start putting titles on it,
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: it just starts getting that's so masculine of me. I
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: feel like, though, I feel like that's that's something a
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: man would say and not a woman. Typically a woman
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: is the one who's like, but this has been my
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: entire life, every like serious with relationship I've ever had.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: I was given an ultimatum commit olie. Yeah.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Interesting the two times I always tell you you a
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: boy and here you are Elliott shirts.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: So what sweaty is? And I feel comfortable?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Fuck that.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: All right, So why are they so common now? Because
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: I feel like.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I think social media and dating apps, you know what
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like it's just hook up. It's just like
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: a hook up society essentially now, Like people are so
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: people think everybody's just so replaceable, Like Instagram is a
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: whole holo dex So the minute this one act up,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you can just go in there and scroll scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: throw the fishing line out there and see who catch.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I enjoyed the variety of new people, but I don't
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: want to have sex with them. Like if I could
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: have like multiple boyfriends that I didn't have to sleep with,
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: that would be ideal for me because I enjoy like
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: the company. I enjoy the perspective of new people, but
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: I just don't want everybody did.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, we talk about nominogamy and polygamy and
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: all those things. I just don't know. How do you
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: how do you learn? Right if you are restricted to
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: this same person for the rest of your life, Like,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: how do you get new information and new ideas? You
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Because some things have to come
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: with a little bit more intimacy, Like some conversations you
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: might have with people.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: But then there's something beautiful about finding that one person.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: You know nothing about that. I said, it's one of us.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I said, there's something beautiful about I've seen it, you know,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: like growing finding that one person and y'all grow old together,
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: and then that's beautiful. Like I like my ex boyfriends.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Aren't her and her husband they're in the cutest thing.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen him in a while, but they're still together.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: He still get jealous, like he still love her so
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: much and she loved him, and they're so cute. You know,
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: that's so cute. But I just feel like it's hard
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: to come by that now.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: They know.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Ever since listen, since Remy and past Poos broke up,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I just feel like everybody do.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Man. They definitely I thought that was.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Gonna stay again as that could stay, huh.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: It was definitely never a couple, not a couple of goals,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: but like out of prison, that's all he did.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I just thought they were like very like urban and
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: cute and like locked in with each other no matter what.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Mike like Ahs like the Hardships, my
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: ultimate like ghetto love story love couple. I like Gucci
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Maine and Kishi Kor, Like I felt like they established like, oh,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: niggas about to start getting married. Gucci don't got married.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: May are about this black men are about to start
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: guessing an example more because Gucci main got married and
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: to glow up, you know what I'm saying, Like he
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: came home a whole nother person. Some people think literally.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: He was not himself, but yeah, okay, that's a good example.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: But they were similar, maybe not as glamorous as Keisha
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Kor and Gucci, but like just a beautiful urban couple.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: That was locked in. No, I don't like that word urban.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: I'm just trying to be like carrag so niggas, so
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: niggas that was locked in with each other, and I
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: just I enjoyed the seeing that. And it wasn't the
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: man that went to jail. It was the woman. That's
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: what made it different. You know, like he held her
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: down while she was in jail.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: And that's why I feel like a lot of men
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: probably don't have respect for Pappus. You see all the
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: jokes online. It's like he like he's the woman and
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: he likes these tough He likes tough women, you know
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So do he like tough women for
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: a man to be just your woman is in prison
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: for shooting somebody, like you didn't do that type of time.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Your girl didn't and you waited for her like that
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: is what.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: You waited for her, Like you said it like very
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: like that's condescending of him.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Gender roll flop flip flu fuck.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: It is because his new cheek kill whoop ass? When
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: ain't gonna talk about her too much? She can fight,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not skinned. It also, Remy obviously has guns. She
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: can fight.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Who's trying to fight? So have you ever been in
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: a situationship and like couldn't leave it because of emotions?
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, I just got out of a situationship that I
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: was in for a long long time. And I still
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: think about him all the time. But I had to
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: get up out of her. I broke my foot behind
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: that ship, y'all. I broke my foot behind that ship.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: And that's when I was like, all right, you know what,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: girls start, go go and get your life together. So
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: but it's like, it's a what's the word I'm looking for.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: It's a soul tar. Sometimes you have a soul tar
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: with someone and you just gotta untether and that shit
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: be hard, and that ain't nothing but the devil, you know.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like anything confusing is the devil. If
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I'm in any any situation and I don't know exactly
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: what's going on, it got it like only the devil
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: will be trying to confuse you like that. So why
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: would anybody want to be engaging with anyone and not
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: just tell them what's up? Hey, I want to fuck sometimes?
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: You know, I was dating somebody who was too honest, right,
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: See that's the problem.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: You wanted to get ass honest. But then you're talking
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: about he too honest?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Like I would call him like you want to do
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: something like I want to come over and he and
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: he would say shit like I kind of want to,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: but then I don't.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: And how would you receive that? Because what does that mean?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: What the fuck does that mean? You know what I'm saying.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: So when he started liking me more, right.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: When the tables turned, I always.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Kind of like at I was at the tail end
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: of the bullshit at that point. I was tired of
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: being in a being in a situation with somebody like
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: that's not even courting at that point, because we like
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: a year and a half locked in you don't have
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: been to my mama house. We'd be chilling. You know
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We're doing the nasty.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, I know who you're talking about.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: I'm taking your places, pulling out with your ass and
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Chelsea boots. Oh, Chelsea, don't.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Don't fuck with no niggas who wear Chelsea boots. Okay,
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: niggas sent me a picture this weekend with Chelsea boots
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: on the boots on the ground. Because he was.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Get so, I was always feeling confused and I couldn't
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: really check him on stuff because you left.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: The door open and he was honest and you were
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: he was honest.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: He's single, and so am I essentially. But when I
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: started like just hanging out a little bit extra or
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: not being as available, he actually told me like he
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: don't like how he feels. Well, I have been feeling
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: like that for a year and a half and we
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: could have been together building a whole life. But obviously
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's not too late, child, Lease it
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: is too late. Okay, it is too fucking late. I'll
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: play around a little bit.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: But I'm just scared I'm gonna choose the wrong person
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: and end up by like I feel like if I
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: don't like start going to therapy and like working through.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I let you go to therapy. I stopped why.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Because my therapist became my homeboy, and it just was
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: like our relationship changed, our dynamic change, so I can't
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: can't be my therapist became my homeboy, you know, and
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: we started talking outside of therapy, and it just no
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: longer became uh a safe space. And that's why that's
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: why he was giving me free therapy. No, he was
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: giving me excellent therapy. But and he still does a
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: little bit, but it's not like you know, ongoing therapy
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: and like working through things. And I need that because
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: I know I'm a commitment fold and I know that
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I have like like even I love my hair in locks,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: but I will not put my hair in locks because
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I can't commit. Yeah, it's just too like start hyperventilating.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I'm stuck into something, you know. And that's just how
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: my relationships have been my entire life. And I don't
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: know with men. I will commit to females, not in
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: a lesbian way, happy prima, not in a lesbian way,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: but like in friendships for life, I'll be like we
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: locked in for life Ashley we aj we locked in
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: for life. I can say that, I can say that,
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: you know, in perpetuity, but with these men, I'd be like, shit,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: you cool, you know, and I don't know what that
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: might be, like a daddy issue or I don't know
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: what that is.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Why is today? I think it's just you know, you
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: you're in relationships with people and you start learning things
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: like every relationship. Like the other night, I sat down,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Remember we have our list of the kind of I'm
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: going through a breakup right now, y'all. Okay, it's been
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: going on for months, and I revamped my thing based
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: because I have new data now, new information. I know
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: more things I don't like now, I know more things
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I would like now, you know, out of a partner.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: And I don't think these look like y'all can make
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: a list. I don't think it's outlandish, like to have real,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: like specific characteristics of the type of person you want,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: even if people may call it shallow, I don't know,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: put it down, write the shit down, you know. But
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: there's like new things now that I've discovered over the
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: last year and a half that I need out of
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: a partner. Like it's I got super non negotiable.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Have you discovered things that you need to be as
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: a partner?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I also discover things I'm just not as
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: a partner. You know what I'm saying. I'm not the
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: most thoughtful person, and I've.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Really that it's so crazy.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: But I definitely show up for people in a million
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: other ways. So like, I know, I'm not the like
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: the friend who going to see some shit and be like, oh,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: actually might like that, or telling you might like that
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: and I would buy it. It depends maybe sometimes right
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: or shut up, I probably watch you some shit. I
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: not bought a bit some shit before. I've never bought
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: you nothing. Okay, I'm gonna sene you the Costal Canna
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: because y'all I would sa Costco like last week and
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: they do still have them candos I've been see but
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: my mama took me on the shopping spirit of Costco
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: for my birthday.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Although you saw my candle, you just kept on walking.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: You know why, because I couldn't leave that big ass
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: candle in the car because Melt and I live on
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: the third floor. So like, I had a bunch of shit,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And now add on this
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: fucking thirty pound candle. Yeah, but they are in there,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm buy you a candle. Okay, I'm gonna buy it.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: My birthday is in two weeks.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm gonna send that candle. Got it?
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: We're so yeah, I'm not we cooked back, y'all.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: We're gonna see if I got that fucking candle.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not that thoughtful in a relationship. You know. I
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: like flowers. I like flesh flowers, like my dude he
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: would bring me. I would have fresh flower.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, let me interjet. Have you used any other ship
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: that I haven't bought? You like them books in them
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: journals and you.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Bought me two journals. You bought me a Gratitude journal,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: which I probably have like six entries from that.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Year, and so toy twenty one.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it right.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: No, I bought you another another journal. It was like
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: a daily planner.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah you did. It's a little black one.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: So it's on the side of my bed next to
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: all the other ship that I don't be using. Yeah,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: but I do have a spell book I write and
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: that ship all the time. That's it. I know what
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: to get you mixed and it's leather bound.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Go on contibity bubbity boot bitch. Listen y'all when I
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: walked in. Also, she gonna say bibbity bobbity pebbage. Take
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: that shit off.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Because what is happening?
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: No, I'm chilling today.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I don't know. I learned, Uh, I do
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: have Everybody comes with bullshit. I definitely don't want a
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: situationship for any next anything. And I'm really not even uh.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: It's hot outside.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't really feel like men right now. I
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: really don't.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: So you don't want no man for the summer?
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: No, I don't no not to need a man for
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: the summer because I want to be pregnant by the
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: end of the year. I don't know how that's supposed
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: to work. So you don't want to go on a vacations, Oh,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I'm going on some type of something.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: So you gotta have you, You gotta have somebody to do.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: It would have to be a situationship. It could be
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: a friend. I feel like situationships come with a lot
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: of emotions.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: So hold on, wait, wait when you say a friend,
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: what's the difference are you gonna if you go on
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: a vacation.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Typically vacations clue a male friend that you're having sex with.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: So that's the situationship. No, I don't mean, what's the difference.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: That's why I think that situationships this is a totally
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: different thing. Situationships come with emotion and it's usually one person.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: You can have a like, it could be a situation.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: It depends on what the situation is. So you can
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: have a guy like I know a girl like one
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: of my hair clients, she got a guy who she
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: deal with. She got a man, he got a girlfriend.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: They see each other out in the club and they together,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: they hook up, and then they go they separate ways,
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: and they do that all the time.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's the situationship. I just think that
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: they're they're too adults who enjoy having sex with each other,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Like that's the situation. No, I think yeah, and then
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: and they like link that's they that's their situationship. You
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: said it's deeper, it gotta be deeper. I think it is.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: No, it don't, it really don't. It just depends on
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: what the situation is.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: A lot of times people be in situations I.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Feel like you gotta the only the only thing you
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: gotta be doing to be included in the situationship. It
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: has to happen frequent, and you gotta be having sex.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: And that's the situationship. And it's just different situations. What's
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: the situation y'all not together, y'all having sex frequently? What's
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: the situation?
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think. I just I think
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I have a different idea in my mind about what
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: that thing is. So you got to be I think
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: men benefit more from situationships women be wanting. I feel
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: like it's limbo. You're stuck in a live and and
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: and uh, you're stuck in like purgatory relationship. Purgatory essentially.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, you want, But not every
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: woman wants to be with that nigga they're in a
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: situationship or man that they're in a situationship with.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: You don't really want to have at this big age,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: I do not want to have sex with somebody that
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I don't like or I don't see the futureship with
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you're saying. That's why I said, I like variety, but
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep with all these people. I
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: don't want to sleep with none of I just want
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: their energy. Oh, I mean energy suck. Yeah, I want to,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: like I want to. I want to be in there,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: like I want the vibes.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I create vibes. Though I create vibes, I bring good energy,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: and I be wanting to be around good energy. But
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: I enjoy variety, you know, in different perspectives.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Mmmm, I don't know what. I guess that that would
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: be just be dating. I wouldn't I enjoy dating. Yeah,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: that's dating, you know, like, and you should date, right,
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: And I think more women should date and not be
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: having sex. You don't have to have sex with everybody
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: you hanging out with.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Listen, I don't have sex with nobody. It was so funny.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: I was with my you know, I'm not even gonna
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: tell that story, no telling, No, I'm not, because that's
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: what I really enjoy their company. I don'tant to even
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: share that business on here.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Do you think a situationship could ever become like a
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: healthy relationship? Yeah?
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Sometimes it's just like two people having fun and
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: then it turns into something else, it turns into more.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: You don't think it could happen. It does happen.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: One of my friends right now, she's with it, locked
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: in and they got two kids. It was a situationship.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: They would like just be like travel buddies. They meet
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: different places around the world, you know, vacation they were
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: like vacation friends. That's what they would do. And then
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: she got pregnant and then she had a baby, and
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: they still wasn't like when she got pregnant, I don't
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: feel like they was like really locked in like that.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: You know, they fucked with each other hard, but and
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: then all of it just turned into something more. And
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: now they're a family and they have a beautiful family
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: and they're happy together.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: And that was a situation ship. Was she talking to
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: other people? Was he talking to other people?
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: We don't know, We don't Yeah, she was talking to
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: other people, Like, yeah, she was dating and I think
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: he was too, you know, but they were just like
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: they had enjoyed it. And that thing went on for
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: like eight years before she got pregnant him, before she
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: got pregnant by him, I know. And now they got
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: a beautiful family. So it can happen. It has happened,
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: It does happen.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I can be in
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: limbo too long with somebody, Like I've definitely done it.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: And when you when you want more, you want stability.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I don't. I'd be wanting to, Like I always say,
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: I like to feel single in relationships, but I don't
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: really like to be single.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: So you think it I'm the reader hearing it says
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: the emotional burnout of being almost loved. So you think,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: like situationships is almost low.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, I do, I think, And that's why I said.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I think men and men benefit more from situationships because
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: they don't have that. They don't have to deal with
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: the emotions of a woman, right, they can just say, hey,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: excuse me, sweetie, we not together like that, Yeah, we
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: smashing raw.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: But that's you say that, Like the situationships are always
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: because there's a woman who wants to be with this
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: man and it's not the case.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: What's the percentage? What is the percentage? It's so many
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: fucking flute fries fruit flies flying around in the here.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: I know, what is it?
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: What is the percentage? Then? Because I think like it's
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: a high percentage of women who are stuck in relationship
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: situationship purgatory. Then men, I don't know.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I think especially these young girls, these
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: young girls is out here not caring. They really don't care.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: I care too, That's why I do. That's why, and
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: that's why I don't. I don't be fucking like that
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: because I like we fucking I'm in love, like we
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: go together. I don't want to be I want to
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: be with you. So that's why I don't do it
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: no more.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: I stopped.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Like once I turned thirty two years ago. It's shit whatever,
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: Just stop doing that because it's just something about sleeping
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: with someone and sharing your body for me. It just
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I feel connected.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: No, you don't feel that connectional.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: So we put a little poll. I'm trying to see
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: if we got any any responses. I wanted to hear
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: about other people's situationships, y'all, I would love we like
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: to hear other people's business. Okay, so call us. You
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: don't like you don't like being nosy. I like it.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: I get tired.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: I like it. I get tired, y'all call it, call it,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: call us and tell us about your situationships called nine one, nine, four, ten,
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: seventy seven, thirty five, and tell me all your motherfucking business.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Listen, you got three minutes before it's gonna hang up
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: on you, and you got a call back, so put
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: your timer on or something.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: I think situationships are dangerous. I feel like everybody should
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: stay the fuck up out of them. Children come through situationships.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: We need you don't You need children with both family,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: both people in the household. When children are born out
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: of side situations and situationships, it is a strenuous relationship
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: at that point between these two adult It's not Nothing
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: good comes out of situationships.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, I get what you're saying, but I mean,
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: in twenty twenty.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Five, get off the damn dating apps. Go out.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: There is a lot of I mean there, let's be honest.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: The black family unit has changed. The dynamic is different.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: You know, a lot of black families are in different homes,
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: They're not in the same household.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: And where is that getting us? We are fucked up?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, but that's the reality of things.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Though, you know, it doesn't have to be the reality
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: of things. I'm for people not being in situationships, like
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: actually date people you know, and actually get into actual
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: real relationships. Start your families, do things the right way.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm not no super religious person, right,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: but the Bible basic instructions before leaving earth right. The
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Bible does give you a pretty nice instruction guide on
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: high to live so you don't get fucked up, you
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like it's still got some botion,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: and they're like, you know, you're not supposed to fortunicate
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: with your neighbor's wife, but don't say nothing about the
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: bitch around the corner, so you will still do.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: It says don't fornicate period until you're married. I mean,
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: we're going if we're going biblical.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And it says nothing about Mary for love either. It
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: says if you can't sustain from not having sex anymore thing,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: you should find a wife. So I don't know, I
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: just feel like people are I'm I'm stressed out about
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: the black community right now. I'm not black, nom more, y'all.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I forgot to tell y'all, I'm gold with a little degreen.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: So listen, how you stressed out about a community you
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: don't even belong to it anymore?
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: The word uh not expatriate. I have uh not excommunicated.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Your expet from the black community.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: Not expat I'm looking for h I have divested. No,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not divested.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say now you divested from the black community.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not I divested, but I just it's a
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: lot of things that we got going on. I just
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: don't agree with you, know what I'm saying. So listen,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: if you.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: Are so situationships are one of them. You think that
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: relationship or the hooked up culture gotta stop. It's so
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: crazy that you your age now, you know what that
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: reminds me of, Like my grandma telling me these are
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: last days. And I'm like, Grandma, You're seventy years old
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: and now you're talking about it's our last days and
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: I'm just a young bud.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: You know why is that you feel with me talking
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: to you right now?
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: No, I'm saying you talking to the people, not me
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: talking to the audience, like saying, you're not being in
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: hellas situationships in your life, and now you're telling.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Hella, I have been in one. I have been Excuse me,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: I've been in two situationships in life. Okay too, Compee girl, Well,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: if if it turns into a relationship, wasn't really a situationship.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, like I begetting to the end, it was
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: never nothing else going on. I'm tired of saying situationship anyway,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: don't uh, y'all.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: When y'all watch this, I want you to watch it
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: with your homegirls and take a sip of your drink.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Every time we say situationship. It shouldn't go out to
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: the day party or stuff like that.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: Anyway. What's your last last time?
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Listen? Life is short. Do what makes you happy, you know,
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: do it feels good, but just be prepared for the
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: consequences of all your choices. That's my last last.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Y'all. I choose clarity over confusion, because that's all my
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: situationships is offering. If you don't know where you stand
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: in someone else's life, if you're having a call another
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: bitch to ask her if she's fucking with him, fucking
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: with this man, you you gotta check in with somebody
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: else to see where you stand in this man's life.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: You are and that's super duper situation ship. Get out
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: of there, save your life. But all situation girls, shut
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: up you a boy anyway, There can be clarity within
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: your situation.
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: This is what it is.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I guess anyway, y'all. If you enjoy this episode, y'all
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart radio app.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: Where the fuck you get your podcast at? This your.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah it's Sam Mam. I got on T shirt and sweatpants.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's the energy I'm giving today. Maybe I am
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: a dyke today.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Fuck you bitch.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Remember to speak now and never hold your nuts.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeart Radio.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.