Latest / WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE / EPISODE #34 SEX CAN STILL BE GREAT AFTER THE HONEYMOON, CHILDREN AND MENOPAUSE

Transcript

EPISODE #34 SEX CAN STILL BE GREAT AFTER THE HONEYMOON, CHILDREN AND MENOPAUSE · WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE

• 0:02
  Welcome to the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast with your host,
• 0:06
  Janice L Vance. Girl If you are a married woman
• 0:10
  that desires not just to have a surviving marriage, you know,
• 0:14
  the kind that's just on cruise control but actually want a
• 0:18
  thriving marriage, you are in the right place.
• 0:21
  If you are engaged, this show can inspire you to prepare for
• 0:24
  your marriage before preparing for that expensive wedding day.
• 0:28
  Ho and all my Single Ladies out there that are in their season
• 0:31
  of waiting on God to send your husband.
• 0:33
  We've got something for you as well, girl.
• 0:35
  Marriage is not hard, but it certainly is work.
• 0:38
  So relax, get your pen and paper, and let us major in
• 0:42
  marriage. Well, hello, hello to all of my
• 0:48
  Queens and welcome to the Women Major in Marriage podcast with
• 0:52
  yours truly, Janice Vance. As I always say, thank you all
• 0:57
  so much for continuing to rock with me.
• 1:00
  I see you all looking at these podcasts and listening to them.
• 1:04
  I see you sharing them and I appreciate it.
• 1:07
  I'm getting comments and I got two comments from someone lady
• 1:15
  too over in Africa and I'm just, I'm just thankful for for the
• 1:21
  platform that God has. Put me here for and and I say
• 1:25
  God, because it's definitely was God doing.
• 1:28
  I began to seek him. What was my next step?
• 1:31
  And this is what he led me to do and I believe it's or is a deign
• 1:35
  or him. I started out that I was just
• 1:38
  only doing my podcast myself because that's the way I was
• 1:41
  feeling directed just to do twice a month and I would do
• 1:44
  them. But then he started leading me
• 1:46
  and showing me people to interview, and I started writing
• 1:51
  those names down. And as I wrote those names down,
• 1:56
  literally those names are falling in the order that I have
• 2:00
  them. And so I know, I know it's him.
• 2:03
  I have a special guest today, a special guest today with me.
• 2:08
  We we never met in person, never met in person.
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  But I've been stalking her. I've been stalking her because
• 2:15
  the girl, the girl is real. I think I've met her with Chris.
• 2:23
  Platform Tanisha. I think I met her.
• 2:27
  I can't even remember why I first heard.
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  I think that's what it was. And I listened to her and I
• 2:34
  listened to her. And I was like, I'm keep on,
• 2:37
  keep on, keep on. I'm going to reach out to her.
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  I'm going to reach out to her. And I thank God for her
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  accepting it. So willingly.
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  So willingly. So willingly.
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  And I do appreciate I'm going to introduce, I'm not going to be
• 2:52
  going, I'm going to introduce her to you all and I want y'all
• 2:56
  just sit back and listen and share these podcasts.
• 2:59
  The podcast might not be something for you, but it might
• 3:03
  help somebody else. You might not know what another
• 3:06
  person is going through or what they need answers to, or they're
• 3:10
  suffering in silence about something and and don't want to
• 3:13
  talk about it, but just share. Just share with the young lady.
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  A married lady or those that are because you all know the
• 3:21
  marriage major, is not just for married women who want to have a
• 3:26
  thriving marriage, but it's also for those that are engaged and
• 3:31
  not just preparing for their big wedding, but preparing to be a
• 3:35
  wife. And also the marriage major is
• 3:38
  for that woman that is in her season of waiting on God to send
• 3:43
  her husband. So all these podcasts will be a
• 3:46
  blessing to that particular woman.
• 3:48
  So you share the podcast. Share it didn't cost anything.
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  Share it. But I'm going to introduce my
• 3:55
  guests that I am so happy to for us to just meet on Zoom.
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  We never met in person. I live in Alabama and she lives
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  in California. Thank God for the virtue of
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  life. Yes, her name is Mavis McKnight.
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  Mavis McKnight has been married for 17, 1/2.
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  She wanted me to make sure I said that half.
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  I said young girl because every every second count of 17 1/2
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  years and have three adult children.
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  She's a certified sexologist and pastor's wife.
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  Wow. Yes.
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  Certified sexologist and I promise you, I have read so much
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  with being a women Mary coach. I have read so much on sex.
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  So many books, so many videos. So many.
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  But I have never heard of the sexologist, so that began to
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  pique my interest, and I hope it does the same for you.
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  She's a sexologist and a pastor's wife, so she has a
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  handful right there. She's passionate about helping
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  Christian wives discover how to have more fulfilling sex.
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  I think that's a great passion to have because there's a
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  subject that. Is not talked about and some is
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  frowned on the bond. And I think that we need to talk
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  more about it, need to be more open about it because some of us
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  grew up as girls, you know, as girls.
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  It was like, oh, girls supposed to act like this.
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  A girl supposed to do like this and never was told that sex was
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  for marriage. You better not do.
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  That's all the boys want. Stay away from sex.
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  You're going to get pregnant and you grow up with that in your
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  head. And then you get married and you
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  still have those things that hold you back because of what
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  you've been taught. So she's going to.
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  I'm so glad that she's so passionate about sharing this,
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  sharing this platform, because it is a subject that definite
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  need to be talked about. Well ladies, guess what her
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  subject is? Sex.
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  Sex can still be great after the honeymoon, children and
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  menopause. I think that.
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  I think that covers it all. Yes.
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  That covers it all. Sister Mavis, I want to
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  introduce you to my platform. And again I do want to say thank
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  you, thank you, thank you, thank you for what you're doing.
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  And know that the best is yet to come for you.
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  Thank you for being obedient. Because I know it had to be God
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  leading you this way and in this area.
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  And you feeling and you feeling that need.
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  So just just have your way. Just tell us.
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  Why you feel that this subject so important?
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  How you have blessed others? What do you do to help others?
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  Just just just talk as if you and I are just sitting on the
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  sofa, just chatting. All right.
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  Well, first of all, thank you, Miss Janice.
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  And I hope you don't mind me calling me Miss Janice because
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  that's just my turn of enduring. So I want to thank you first of
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  all for this platform and. Without this platform, you're
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  right, we won't be able to share a lot of the things that we
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  we've learned or that we know that are best for Christian
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  wives and best for believers in general.
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  But we wouldn't be able to do that.
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  So I I do want to share that you're such a blessing to to
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  have this platform and and I'm grateful to you for heating
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  God's call as well. So when I first.
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  Started like you, I was asking God, please tell me what it is
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  that you want me to do. And God knows when we're sincere
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  about asking him stuff. So you know, I asked and asked
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  and asked and you know, one day he just, he not even dropped in
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  my spirit. He spoke to me directly, but
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  just let me share a little bit about how I even got here and
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  how I knew it was God. So you know.
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  As you shared, me and my husband has been married for 17 1/2
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  years and he is a pastor. And when I when we met Becca,
• 8:41
  because we actually went to junior high school together and
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  we actually dated for like a week after high school, and then
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  we both went our separate ways and he got married to someone
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  else, of course. And then I got married to
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  someone else. So once those marriages were
• 9:00
  over, then God brought us back together.
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  So I, you know, the fact that he was a pastor to me was just.
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  God, in his joking way, I don't know, trying to be funny or
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  something. I don't know because my father
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  is a pastor and I'm like, OK, God, I've been doing this pastor
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  thing like a long time. And I'm not really trying to be
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  doing that right now. But of course, you know, it's
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  not really about what we want to do is what plans that God has.
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  Exactly. Yeah.
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  So you know I. I really wanted to be able to
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  help him in the ministry. And I just asked God to know
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  what is it that you want me to do to help these women?
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  And, you know, one day, of course, I just surrendered my
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  spirit to God because that's the only time he's really going to
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  talk to you and you're going to really listen is when you're
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  surrendered, I should say hear him because he's always talking
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  to you. But when we surrender, of course
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  that's when we hear him. So, you know, as I'm driving in.
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  In LA, he just started speaking to my spirit, you know, telling
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  me to drive here. He said turn right here.
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  So I turned right, drove down a little bit more.
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  The spirit of God said turn left here.
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  So I turned left and I drove a little bit more.
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  The spirit of God said pull over right here.
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  And I pull over and I look up and I find myself in front of
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  the Word of Life bookstore. So I'm of course, like, okay,
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  what am I doing at this bookstore?
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  But being obedient, I get out of the car and I go into the
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  bookstore. So you know.
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  I'll start looking for books on women in counseling women in
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  prayer women and just books for women counseling.
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  You know something that just to help the women to try to get me
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  on the track that I'm supposed to be on.
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  And you know, I pick up the books and I don't.
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  I'm not really feeling you know these books but I take them up
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  there anyway to the counter, you know to pay for them because I
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  got I'm here for a reason. God okay.
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  So as I'm walking. To the cash register something.
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  I always say something, but it God, The spirit of God compelled
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  me to look to my left. And there was a bookshelf right
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  there, right catacorner to the to the cashier.
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  And there was this one book sitting on that shelf.
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  And the book was about 21 questions Christian women ask
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  about sex. And I'm like, OK, so I, you
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  know, of course, I'm compelled to pick the book up.
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  So I pick it up and I start coming through it.
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  I read a little bit of it and then I go to the back where the
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  authors are helping, you know, one of a young lady to improve
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  her sex life. And once I read that, I knew
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  immediately that that was the reason God had led me to this
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  bookstore. Now I've had none of that,
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  nothing about sex on my radar. I promise you, let them in my
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  orbit. I'm thinking some spiritual
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  stuff, right? Because I'm like, okay, God,
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  what do you want me to do with these women in this church?
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  He didn't have nothing to do with that.
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  He, he. When I when I knew that this is
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  what he sent me there for, I put those other books back.
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  I bought this book and it's before I retired.
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  Yes, I am happily retired since 2018.
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  But before I retired I used to go to the park and read.
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  So I took the book and I read the book and like in three days
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  I was 3/4 of the way done with it.
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  And I'm going, walking back up to my office, the back walkway
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  and the spirit of God speaks to me just as clear as I'm talking
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  to you, he said, This is what I want you to do.
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  I want you to teach married Christian women.
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  To enjoy sex with their husbands.
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  It's what I created you to do. And I, you know, we want God so
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  hard to tell us exactly what he want us to do.
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  No, you know, no, like inferring or indirect stuff.
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  It's like, please, God, give us look, tell us and no uncertain
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  terms what you want us to do that wasn't direct.
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  I don't know what what was? So I was like, oh, my God.
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  So after that, of course, you know, I, I dove in with, you
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  know. 10 fingers, 10 toes, head, 1st and everything you know to
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  to do this thing that God had told me that he purposed me to
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  do. So that's one of, you know, I
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  started my with my trainings and you know my teachings and with
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  you know, creating events to just get this message out there
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  of sexual Wellness to to believers or Christian women all
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  over the world or which is my my mission all over the world.
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  But, you know, I had to start where I was with our, you know,
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  our church. Membership of some of the
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  friends that and family that I had.
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  So that's the then came my my certification.
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  So when God opened up that door for me, you know, it was like,
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  OK, God, I know. You.
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  You. Really, really told me to do
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  this. I know you did.
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  So I have no doubt in my in no parts of my being that God
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  called me specifically to do this.
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  And I know that we as women start off so far behind the 8
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  ball in our sexual life. Anyway, because of all the
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  things you do, we shared earlier all this stuff that we were
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  taught in the in the church by our parents, even in society
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  obviously, if we were taught that really is a block or that
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  creates blocks to our sexual enjoyment.
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  So my my goal is mainly to start with the mindset, to shift that
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  mindset because that's where everything starts.
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  You know your belief and to just just.
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  Bring a different view, a new view, you know, more positive
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  sex, positive view into people's lives, you know, especially the
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  women into the women's lives so they can start understanding,
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  Start seeing that this is a gift from God that he gave us to
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  enjoy in our marriage with our husbands.
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  So that's how that's not a little bit, but that's exactly
• 14:51
  how I got here, where I am right now.
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  That is, that is that is so awesome.
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  So awesome. So the question I guess I would
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  ask and when you when you're saying that helping Christian
• 15:09
  wives discover how to have a more feeling for sex life.
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  And that sex can be great after the honeymoon.
• 15:20
  Yes. Yeah.
• 15:21
  Now let me share. Children and menopause and
• 15:25
  menopause. So in other words, you're saying
• 15:28
  that start with the mindset. Know that God created sex no
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  matter what stage or what season you're in your in in your
• 15:41
  marriage from the beginning, all the way to menopause.
• 15:46
  Sex still can be enjoyed. Absolutely can be.
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  And and the reason why I know this is because that's my
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  personal experience and I know some of the things I'm going to
• 15:58
  share are a lot of women's personal experience.
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  So to be able to. To get some solutions to move
• 16:06
  past the blocks or the obstacles that that's gold, that's
• 16:11
  everything. And I know that's going to be
• 16:12
  very beneficial to in all the ladies or the wives, the the
• 16:17
  engaged. Believers, the ladies that are
• 16:20
  in waiting and the and like I say, the ones that are still
• 16:24
  hoping, still some that are waiting, you know, in long term
• 16:28
  relationships and some that are out, but some that are still
• 16:31
  hoping, even even though you know, they've been waiting a
• 16:34
  long time, but they're still hoping that you know, God is
• 16:38
  going to bless me, my boy, as you know, I'm going to be
• 16:40
  married at some point in my life.
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  So yeah, so it's for for everybody, everybody who desires
• 16:47
  marriage. So.
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  So just share. So just share with the audience
• 16:53
  what's on your heart. Just share what's on your heart.
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  Something that they can take away from this and say, you
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  know, oh, it's still hope because there's a lot of women
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  that, there's a lot of married women are not having sex.
• 17:08
  There's a lot of married women that are having sex but not
• 17:12
  being fulfilled. There's a lot of it could be
• 17:16
  health issues or what whatever. But I still feel that even if
• 17:21
  it's some if it's health issue, I think that's a lack of
• 17:24
  communication with your husband because you should be able to
• 17:29
  communicate with him and he should not be selfish and want
• 17:34
  to make sure that his wife is satisfied even if if if he has a
• 17:38
  health issue or. He can't perform or she has
• 17:43
  issues and she can't perform. We can't be selfish.
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  And because we'll end up getting that rut and and after a while
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  sex will be the thing of the past and we'll be living just
• 17:56
  like roommates. So share, share your heart.
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  Just whatever way God is leading you to encourage women about
• 18:04
  sex. And and you you hit the.
• 18:08
  The couple of nails on the head, you know, when you said that
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  there are a lot of women that are in sexist marriages because
• 18:16
  one of the statistics that we learned about was there are 30
• 18:22
  to 40 million people. In the US and sexist marriages,
• 18:27
  that's a lot of people. And I know it has grown up.
• 18:30
  That's that's a lot of people and it.
• 18:32
  And then the the second thing that you said was the women who
• 18:36
  are having sex, but they are totally unsatisfied.
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  Oh my God, that is kind of like my soapbox.
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  And the communication thing, that is my, that's probably my
• 18:50
  first soapbox because communication is so important.
• 18:54
  It's important. And if you think about it in
• 18:57
  every area of life. So I I sometimes talk about how
• 19:03
  women can talk about everything under the sun, you know, talk
• 19:06
  about their career, talk about the kids, talk about, you know,
• 19:09
  the girlfriends, talk about the business, talk about church,
• 19:11
  talk about the pastor and his wife, all kind of stuff.
• 19:15
  But when you want them to open up their mouth about sex, it's
• 19:19
  like, sure, the cat has that tongue.
• 19:22
  And a lot of that is, you know, just because, you know,
• 19:25
  historically we've been women have been taught and you know,
• 19:28
  shut up basically and, you know, didn't really have a voice.
• 19:31
  And even, you know, with the liberations of today, it's still
• 19:35
  a lot of women that that are really shamed to open their
• 19:38
  mouth. About sex.
• 19:40
  And that's also part of, you know what I, I help women to be
• 19:43
  able to do, to learn how to communicate effectively with
• 19:45
  their their husbands so they can get their sexual needs met
• 19:50
  because that is so, so important.
• 19:53
  So with that said, I do just want to share a couple of things
• 19:57
  about, you know, how how sex can still be great, you know, during
• 20:00
  these times in our lives where we really are not thinking about
• 20:04
  that because something else is on our mind or on our plate.
• 20:07
  And I started with the honeymoon.
• 20:10
  So, you know, most experts say that the honeymoon period lasts
• 20:17
  between six months and two years, Okay.
• 20:21
  And then after that, it's like reality starts to set in.
• 20:27
  It's like those, you know, rose colored glasses.
• 20:32
  They're starting to become shades of Gray.
• 20:35
  And and of course, you know, I don't mean Christian Gray and
• 20:39
  and 50 Shades of Gray and all that.
• 20:41
  I mean, you just start to see some real stuff and it's like
• 20:46
  okay, this person is not who I thought they were.
• 20:50
  And I mean it it, you know, you get to a point where you know
• 20:53
  the the negative. You start seeing a lot of
• 20:55
  negative things in each other and they start taking the place
• 20:59
  of, you know, the positive stuff.
• 21:02
  And I remember when me and my hubby, we we were married for
• 21:05
  probably about five years. And you know the the, the
• 21:10
  numbers, you know that are not really relevant as far as how
• 21:12
  long the honeymoon period lasts. But everybody's honeymoon period
• 21:16
  is different. But these are just the numbers,
• 21:18
  you know, the people that come up with.
• 21:20
  But we have been married about five years, and it's like all of
• 21:23
  a sudden he start getting way comfortable with complaining
• 21:27
  about stuff about me that he had never mentioned before.
• 21:30
  And I was just like, so I in turn started complaining about
• 21:37
  things that I didn't like about him.
• 21:40
  So that's one of the things that that really throws marriages and
• 21:45
  couples off because you start focusing on the wrong stuff
• 21:49
  after the honeymoon and after the reality sets in and you
• 21:52
  start focusing on, you know all this negative stuff and what's
• 21:55
  important it it just kind of like this push to the background
• 21:59
  and the unimportant things start coming to the forefront.
• 22:04
  And that is like a typical, I call it sex singing situation.
• 22:14
  Yes. And you know what man?
• 22:16
  When you you might, you know, accidentally put your your arm
• 22:20
  over the fire and got hairs on your arm and it's like oh Lord
• 22:24
  Jesus sending no hairs off really quick.
• 22:28
  I would say sending situation because y'all just looking at
• 22:31
  each other and complaining and not really seeing each other the
• 22:33
  way that you did before, you know, before the honeymoon.
• 22:39
  And now I want to move on to the children.
• 22:42
  Okay the children. When we oh God, these beautiful
• 22:48
  bundles of joy that we get all excited about and we get all
• 22:52
  consumed with, they come into our lives and we're we're just
• 22:58
  like so obsessed and so focused on on the children.
• 23:03
  And what usually happens is you know, the mom.
• 23:08
  And now I'm not saying that the husbands are not caregivers that
• 23:12
  don't get involved, but the moms are usually the ones that do the
• 23:16
  most caregiving when the the babies first arrive.
• 23:20
  Now she's, well, she's character's life for nine
• 23:24
  months. Okay, that's a reality.
• 23:27
  She's binding with that baby more and more like every day.
• 23:32
  Then she here comes the delivery and you know having kids that's
• 23:38
  an A personal experience that nobody and nothing can compare
• 23:42
  to. OK.
• 23:45
  Whether you're you know it was like 6 hours of a painful labor
• 23:50
  or where there was like 11 hours of like mild labor and you know
• 23:55
  you got your little 2 push delivery or whether it was like
• 24:01
  23 hours of intense intense labor that ended in a C-section.
• 24:08
  It's her experience and it's really no wonder why you know a
• 24:12
  woman feels like really close and body with this child.
• 24:17
  However, after the initial child care, you know and all you know,
• 24:23
  the excitement starts to wear off, then generally the husband,
• 24:28
  it started looking like okay. So what about me?
• 24:32
  I'm over here. You know, I'm.
• 24:33
  I'm still here because I know my daughter, she was my first born.
• 24:40
  When I first had her, the dad, he actually got jealous of my
• 24:46
  care of my daughter. And it's like, okay, you know,
• 24:50
  I'm a new mother. You know, I'm trying to make
• 24:53
  sure I'm doing everything right. Of course we are.
• 24:55
  We're consumed with this, you know, being a great mom, you
• 24:57
  know, caring for this child, making sure all of this, this
• 25:00
  child's needs are fulfilled, right?
• 25:04
  But there is a whole another person over there, human being.
• 25:11
  But most of the time, the moms feel overwhelmed and they really
• 25:17
  feel like they can't fulfill their husband's needs and their
• 25:20
  baby's needs, you know, at the same time.
• 25:24
  And then to top it off, who? Who?
• 25:28
  Who feels sexy When you know you got kids hanging on you all day,
• 25:31
  you know you smell like throw up or you know you you sleep
• 25:35
  deprived. You know you cannot feel, can't
• 25:39
  feel sexy when you got all of that going on.
• 25:43
  And that's truly something that will diminish any woman's desire
• 25:50
  for sex. Now I'm going to move into the
• 25:54
  menopause portion. Yeah, menopause.
• 26:04
  Okay. So according to experts,
• 26:08
  menopause is supposed to happen in women between the ages of 48
• 26:14
  and 52. And of course, menopause is the
• 26:17
  end of our menstrual cycle where our estrogen starts decreasing
• 26:23
  and our emotional and physical life starts to get affected.
• 26:29
  It starts to change and starts to get out of balance.
• 26:33
  Yes. And it's not necessarily that
• 26:36
  our testosterone increases. It's just, you know, it just
• 26:40
  becomes more magnified because the estrogen is decreasing.
• 26:45
  And FYI, that's what M Chan hairs be coming from.
• 26:50
  And we all get like, Oh my God, I got a Chan hair and you don't
• 26:55
  want to snatch it out because what do they say?
• 26:58
  Two more growing these trees. Right bro.
• 27:01
  So you just be got your little scissors and you kind of trying
• 27:03
  to come in so sad so and mad and and I saw a term the other day
• 27:16
  that say dry as dust. Oh my God.
• 27:19
  And I immediately thought about women that are going through
• 27:23
  menopause because vaginal dryness is one of the main
• 27:28
  symptoms of menopause vaginal dryness.
• 27:32
  And of course we know that is one of the main enemies are
• 27:38
  deterrence to enjoyable sex. Now I wanted to share this
• 27:46
  because I just want women to know there there are a massive
• 27:51
  amount of symptoms, you know, for women that are going through
• 27:55
  this, this period, this menopause period, this next
• 27:58
  chapter of their life's journey near at least 50.
• 28:01
  Okay. That's a lot, yes.
• 28:07
  Yeah. But the North American Menopause
• 28:11
  Society, they share 5 common ones that I that I do want to
• 28:15
  share just for the women to just understand some of what's
• 28:19
  happening with her and why it's happening.
• 28:21
  Number one is mood changes. And of course we know what that
• 28:25
  is. You know, you happy one minute,
• 28:27
  The next minute you snapping? Talk crazy.
• 28:30
  Losing your temper on somebody? Blame it on the menopause.
• 28:35
  The PMS. Sorry I Still Love you #2 Urinary incontinence.
• 28:47
  You can't hold your pee, See Coughing and sneezing and
• 28:51
  laughing. And you're releasing.
• 28:55
  That is not fun. Night sweats, hot flashes and,
• 29:02
  you know, one minute you you sweating like a hog and then the
• 29:04
  next minute you cold. And that's that's weird.
• 29:09
  But night sweats for trouble, falling asleep.
• 29:13
  Insomnia, you know, you stand at the ceiling at 3:00 or 4:00 in
• 29:17
  the morning wondering why you can't go to sleep.
• 29:21
  Yeah, insomnia is one of the symptoms.
• 29:23
  And then sexual discomfort is the fifth one.
• 29:27
  And that's vaginal dryness, as I shared earlier.
• 29:31
  Now, I I did write an article about, you know, this, this
• 29:35
  menopause and estrogen. So if any of your listeners want
• 29:40
  to copy, they can actually send me an e-mail to ask Mavis at
• 29:43
  mavismcknight.com. Okay.
• 29:46
  Now with all of this going on in a woman's mind, in a woman's
• 29:51
  heart, her soul, her body once again is no wonder why she does
• 29:58
  not feel like sex can be great after menopause.
• 30:03
  But here's the thing. Everything that I shared, their
• 30:06
  natural occurrences and experiences that we go go
• 30:10
  through in our life's journey. But there is one simple, simple
• 30:17
  way to combat all of this so that sex can still be great.
• 30:25
  You ready to hear this? You think your listeners are
• 30:26
  ready to hear? I think they're ready to hear
• 30:28
  this. You think they're ready, Okay?
• 30:31
  Well, I hope they have. You know, when a dog think he
• 30:34
  heard some ears start sticking up.
• 30:36
  I think everybody ears up. Yes, okay.
• 30:42
  Now, I want, I want everybody to write this down at least five
• 30:45
  times. Okay.
• 30:47
  Here it is. It's making a commitment to keep
• 30:52
  your sex life a priority. Making a commitment to keep your
• 30:59
  sex life a priority. And if you don't know what the
• 31:04
  word commitment means, look it up.
• 31:06
  Everybody got a phone, Everybody got some kind of dictionary and
• 31:08
  they can look up what the word commitment needs.
• 31:11
  But making a commitment to keep your sex life a priority or to
• 31:16
  make it and keep it a priority? Now these women are probably
• 31:21
  thinking, how in the same hell or world our nation can I make
• 31:29
  my sex like a priority with everything that I got going on
• 31:34
  with the realities after the honeymoon that this person ain't
• 31:38
  the person that they thought he was going to be or she was going
• 31:41
  to be. The the kids who look, the women
• 31:46
  are probably hide anyway with the husband because sex is what
• 31:48
  got them in that predicament in the 1st place.
• 31:53
  And of course the menopause we just shared.
• 31:55
  Oh my God about that. The dry desert, the the swings,
• 31:59
  the body changes, the sagging breasts.
• 32:05
  You know, this can easily happen if you breastfeed, you know, Oh
• 32:09
  my God, even if you don't breastfeed, that can happen.
• 32:12
  Or or like a desire. So I get it, but how do you
• 32:18
  fight all that? How do you find the time for
• 32:21
  anything else, especially sex, which most of us know that can
• 32:28
  easily, And I think you might even mention this earlier, that
• 32:31
  can easily be put on our To Do List as a chore.
• 32:37
  And that is that's dangerous. So dangerous to, you know, look
• 32:43
  at your sexual experiences or sex as a chore.
• 32:46
  Something that I need to do. I can't do that.
• 32:49
  I I one of my goals is to make sure that women understand.
• 32:55
  Or the the mindset shift. The mindset shift will be to
• 32:59
  look at sex as the gift and as something pleasurable for me
• 33:05
  first and foremost. Not it's it's for my husband.
• 33:09
  A man's thing, you know, I got to endure it.
• 33:11
  It's a chore. It's a none of that is a
• 33:15
  pleasure and a gift to me personally.
• 33:18
  That's where what I want women to start thinking and believing
• 33:22
  and that will absolutely help women to learn to put to make
• 33:27
  their sex life a priority. So right now I want to give you
• 33:34
  three of the most eye opening easy to apply tips for keeping
• 33:42
  your sex life a priority even in the midst of all this.
• 33:46
  The, the after the honeymoon realities.
• 33:50
  The children hanging on your your, your leg.
• 33:54
  And that time in life, that season and time of life called
• 33:59
  menopause. All right, you ready?
• 34:05
  All right, so I'm going to call these the 3D's of delicious
• 34:10
  discovery. The three count them 3D's of
• 34:17
  delicious discovery. Okay.
• 34:24
  The first D of delicious discovery is decide.
• 34:30
  Decide. So what does it mean to decide?
• 34:35
  It means to make a choice. And I always reference my
• 34:43
  favorite theory, which is choice theory, which says you have the
• 34:49
  power to choose. You have the power to choose
• 34:55
  what you want to make yourself happy or to just make a choice.
• 35:01
  You have a power, the power to do that, just make the choice.
• 35:04
  So you decide to do it. You make the choice and there's
• 35:09
  a yeah, that is so powerful to me, and it always has been just
• 35:14
  a just the most powerful thing You can decide.
• 35:17
  You can choose what it is that you want.
• 35:20
  Yeah, very empowering. Now there is this, this quote
• 35:24
  that I love by Dale Carnegie and he is the author of the book
• 35:29
  Think and Grow Rich. And it says, yeah, it says once
• 35:33
  you make a definite decision about something, Providence
• 35:37
  moves and things start to open up that you that had you not
• 35:42
  made that decision, never would have showed up.
• 35:46
  So, so true. Things like a change of heart to
• 35:51
  serve and receive. Things like keeping your promise
• 35:56
  to yourself 1st and then your spouse and it's like, you know,
• 36:01
  you're going all day doing whatever you're doing.
• 36:04
  And then you might have a thought about your husband and
• 36:06
  be like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna give him some
• 36:09
  tonight. I'm gonna dress up, I'm gonna
• 36:10
  cook up some dinner. I'm gonna have some candlelight
• 36:12
  stuff. I'm gonna have some nice music.
• 36:14
  I'mma put on my lingerie and I'm gonna do this and that together
• 36:16
  to my husband tonight. And then you get home and that
• 36:20
  familiar surrounding is like, I don't feel like doing all that.
• 36:24
  Exactly. Exactly.
• 36:29
  So when you make a decision and a commitment is going to help
• 36:32
  you to keep that promise to yourself 1st and then your
• 36:35
  husband. Even though your husband don't
• 36:37
  know, you know you know. So you keep the promise to
• 36:41
  yourself 1st and then keep the promise to your husband.
• 36:47
  And also what we show up also is the pleasure that you received
• 36:53
  from engaging in your sexual experience.
• 36:56
  Oh, my God. One of my favorites.
• 37:00
  It's a pleasure that you receive.
• 37:04
  All right, let's move to the second D of delicious discovery.
• 37:09
  And that is to depend. Depend and depend means to rely,
• 37:19
  to rely on. Rely on the fact that you and
• 37:22
  your husband are a team first. You and your husband are a team
• 37:28
  first, even before the children, so it's important to set a
• 37:37
  standard of making deposits before the kids get here so you
• 37:43
  can get into this great sensual and sexual rhythm that cannot be
• 37:47
  broken no matter what. It might be paused for a time,
• 37:53
  but it cannot be broken absolutely.
• 37:56
  I love that. Yeah.
• 37:58
  Yes. Deposits are so important.
• 38:01
  So, so important. It's kind of like bank deposits,
• 38:04
  You know, You deposit money in the bank so you can go to the
• 38:07
  bank and get the money out later.
• 38:08
  You ain't making no deposits. You ain't going to have no
• 38:10
  money. Exactly, Yes.
• 38:15
  So there was this young mother who had six kids.
• 38:19
  Count them six and she still found time to enjoy an amazing
• 38:26
  sex life with her husband because she had shared that they
• 38:30
  had a a great sex life before the kids.
• 38:34
  And then she made a commitment to keep her sex life a priority
• 38:40
  by making sure that they did everything they could do before
• 38:45
  the first child got here. So the way she was able to
• 38:51
  continue with her amazing sex life, then being a team first
• 38:57
  making a commitment, making deposits, making a commitment to
• 39:00
  keep her sex life a priority, making deposits.
• 39:03
  And then after the kids got there, then after, you know, she
• 39:06
  was tired sometimes, she always went back to her commitment.
• 39:12
  Yes, to keep her sex life a priority.
• 39:18
  All right. Now it'll take us to the third D
• 39:21
  of delicious discovery. And that is deserve.
• 39:26
  And I think I love this one the most deserve.
• 39:33
  I had done a survey and I asked, you know, women, what do they
• 39:37
  think? That was the thing that most
• 39:39
  Christian women were struggling with.
• 39:42
  And it was a belief that they deserved pleasure.
• 39:47
  And I I I was really shocked by that, only because that's not
• 39:52
  how I feel. But it's not about how I feel,
• 39:56
  it's about how the women that I'm here to impact feel.
• 40:00
  And not believing that they deserve pleasure was like a a,
• 40:04
  like one of the the number one things of the main issue.
• 40:08
  So a woman in her 60s, menopause laton and all.
• 40:15
  She found joy and excitement in her sexual experiences because
• 40:18
  she knew that she deserved to delight in the pleasure that God
• 40:23
  had freely given to her and her husband.
• 40:28
  It's like that that L'Oreal slogan from a long time ago.
• 40:31
  Because I'm worth it. Remember that because I'm worth
• 40:34
  it. That's how she felt.
• 40:37
  She knew that she deserved their pleasure even going through
• 40:42
  menopause case, so that gave her the mindset that, hey, I can
• 40:46
  still have a great sixth life even after menopause.
• 40:50
  Now, although she had to deal with that unfortunate symptom of
• 40:54
  vaginal dryness, she knew that lubricants would be a juicy
• 41:00
  solution and that became a staple in her sex life.
• 41:06
  And and and the thing, one thing about lubes is that so many
• 41:11
  couples live by them and that's just an FYI.
• 41:16
  So many couples do Christian couples is not a sin for you to
• 41:22
  go to a romance store and make it a date night and just pick
• 41:27
  some lubes look over because they do have so many brands.
• 41:31
  Just look over you know the brands they have read the the
• 41:33
  instructions read the the ingredients and you want you
• 41:37
  know a water soluble, a water based, water based lubricant.
• 41:42
  You know, so you know nothing oily nothing that's going to you
• 41:45
  know change your your pH your vaginal pH.
• 41:49
  So it's it's a a great way to for a couple to bond and to
• 41:55
  really get that's an intimate thing, very intimate.
• 41:58
  You're going to to purchase some lubrication to enhance the
• 42:03
  pleasure in your sex life that can bind any couple?
• 42:07
  Exactly, yes. So, so this lady, even if she,
• 42:10
  oh, she was in her 60s, she was determined that nothing would
• 42:13
  stop her from her, from her the pleasure of her sex life.
• 42:18
  And she made her sex life a priority by whatever means
• 42:22
  necessary. So I have a pro tip for all the
• 42:28
  ladies. No matter what your age is, no
• 42:30
  matter where you're going through the through the after
• 42:33
  the honeymoon phase, even before you get married, before you even
• 42:36
  become sexually active, or however you know it goes in your
• 42:39
  life, the more you keep your female functioning, your female
• 42:44
  functioning functioning, the more it will keep functioning
• 42:48
  for you. The more you keep your female
• 42:52
  functioning functioning, the more and it will keep
• 42:56
  functioning for you. And that translation is regular.
• 43:02
  Sexual stimulation promotes blood flow to the genital areas
• 43:07
  and it helps to produce that wetness and that moisture that
• 43:10
  is essential for easy penetration.
• 43:14
  And this will eliminate that for most women.
• 43:17
  It eliminate that dry desert that so many women have to have
• 43:21
  to suffer through in menopause. And as I shared before, that's
• 43:25
  one of the the greatest deterrents of enjoyable sex.
• 43:30
  OK, so the more you do it, the more your body is going to want
• 43:34
  to do it and the more your body is going to respond to it.
• 43:37
  That's just bottom, right? I always say if you don't use
• 43:42
  it, you'll lose it. You don't lose it.
• 43:44
  Absolutely, absolutely. So get in the habit of using it
• 43:49
  is what I say, you know? And then your bonus reminder.
• 43:54
  Of course, we talked about this earlier.
• 43:56
  It is all about your mindset. All about your mindset.
• 44:02
  A mindset. Yeah, A mindset that says I
• 44:05
  still love, accept, and desire you even after those rose
• 44:10
  colored glasses come off. A mindset that says the children
• 44:15
  shouldn't distract us from our erotic connection to one
• 44:19
  another, and a mindset that says the effects of aging are natural
• 44:25
  and should be. It should be embraced and
• 44:28
  celebrated, and we simply need to shift.
• 44:33
  Wow, so to recap, our sex could be great after the honeymoon.
• 44:39
  After the children, after menopause.
• 44:41
  One is decide you choose to to make your sex like a priority.
• 44:48
  #2 is depend you rely on each other to make your sex life a
• 44:53
  priority and three is deserved. Know that you are worth making
• 44:59
  your sex life a priority. Wow.
• 45:03
  Yeah. And I'm.
• 45:05
  I'm going to close with this. You can do anything, anything,
• 45:10
  anything, anything that you put your heart, mind and commitment
• 45:14
  behind. Anything.
• 45:18
  If if any of you ladies are having serious challenges making
• 45:22
  your sex life a priority, then a lot of these examples should be
• 45:27
  able to help. Now if you're still struggling
• 45:31
  or you if you still have a challenge, then this might be
• 45:34
  the perfect time to dig a little bit deeper and find out why.
• 45:38
  And this is where I can help. Absolutely, and you just would
• 45:43
  have to reach out to me. But either way, you have this
• 45:47
  incredible opportunity after your honeymoon, after the
• 45:52
  cheering, and certainly and certainly after menopause, to
• 45:57
  experience for yourself that sex can still be great.
• 46:02
  If you wanted to. Wow.
• 46:06
  That is so awesome. I'm sitting here thinking, y'all
• 46:10
  see my pen. I got my notebook.
• 46:12
  You know, when I talk about the when I talk about the marriage
• 46:14
  major I envision. As if being a student and you're
• 46:23
  majoring in your marriage, you're learning.
• 46:25
  So I've really felt I'm sitting here majoring, I'm sitting here
• 46:30
  majoring. I've got my notes and I'm
• 46:32
  writing my notes. And I just want to say, First
• 46:37
  lady, you have been awesome. I know, I know.
• 46:44
  I know y'all ladies. I know y'all ladies got a lot of
• 46:46
  tips out of this. What?
• 46:48
  This is another thing I want to ask because I'm seeing a lot of
• 46:54
  this these questions and you know how you can go on Facebook
• 46:59
  and you can be anonymous with people don't have to know.
• 47:03
  And there I I'll say something. I'll say okay, make sure y'all
• 47:07
  have a date night on the calendar.
• 47:08
  I'll say something like this and I and I just been noticing what
• 47:12
  people been saying. And a lot of people.
• 47:16
  What would you say to that woman?
• 47:21
  She she might not even been going through menopause.
• 47:25
  Yeah, she might not even be at the age.
• 47:28
  But her husband might have issues.
• 47:31
  Her husband is not able to perform, so she feel deprived.
• 47:39
  She still desires sex. But he has these issues and they
• 47:44
  know this, so they have just several on it.
• 47:49
  Oh, it's over. He, you know, she was like, you
• 47:56
  know, it's just like it's over. Don't mean anything to him.
• 47:59
  We just go to bed. We just living like roommates.
• 48:02
  We we we still love each other. We still love each other.
• 48:05
  We still laugh. We still talk.
• 48:07
  We still have a good time. He's a good provider, but.
• 48:11
  I'm not being fulfilled. And I mean, I I get so much of
• 48:17
  that. So, so much, so, so much of
• 48:21
  that. And and the first thing I asked
• 48:24
  is, have y'all talked about it? Have you told him that you have
• 48:28
  needs and that there's other ways he can meet your needs.
• 48:33
  Have y'all discussed those things?
• 48:35
  And a lot of times. Guess what?
• 48:37
  Women say No. I feel embarrassed.
• 48:41
  They feel embarrassed to discuss it to the husband, to say, hey,
• 48:47
  I desire sex, I need sex. I don't.
• 48:49
  I ain't got to have it every day.
• 48:53
  But don't. Don't just act like it doesn't
• 48:56
  even exist. What would what would you say to
• 48:59
  that? What would you say to that woman
• 49:02
  that is not being sexually fulfilled?
• 49:06
  Yeah, one of the things that women can do, first of all, the
• 49:11
  women there are feeling embarrassed.
• 49:14
  They can set a time and day to talk to their husbands.
• 49:19
  But what they would want to do is to share with him first how
• 49:24
  embarrassed or whatever shame they feel for talking about this
• 49:31
  situation. Because if you call it out, then
• 49:34
  that gives it less power, K number one.
• 49:38
  So the first thing they should do is to let their husbands
• 49:43
  know, I want to talk to you about something, but I feel
• 49:45
  like, so embarrassed about this or feel, you know, shame
• 49:48
  bringing this up. But I just want, you know, you
• 49:52
  to listen to me. You know, I want to share this
• 49:54
  with you. And then in their own way, they
• 49:57
  don't have to be perfect communicators or anything like
• 49:59
  that. They can just say, well, let me
• 50:03
  let me just first say this. When when women are sharing with
• 50:07
  their husbands, never blame him for what's going on.
• 50:13
  Because if you if you blame him, the walls are going to come up
• 50:16
  and you defeat your whole purpose.
• 50:19
  So you always want to. And I I have a I think in my
• 50:23
  workshop I had like this segment on this.
• 50:26
  You always want to approach him with a compliment.
• 50:30
  And what do we call the sandwich style communication?
• 50:34
  You know, you approach it with the compliment first.
• 50:36
  You know you love them. You know, I wanna want us to be
• 50:41
  close. I mean I love that we do this
• 50:43
  and that and the other in our marriage.
• 50:47
  But I would love to this thing to make it even better or I
• 50:53
  would love to talk to you about this thing even though I feel
• 50:56
  embarrassed or shame about this because this is important to me.
• 51:00
  It means something to me. And I just believe you know this
• 51:03
  will help both of us. This will benefit both of us.
• 51:05
  You know if you know we have this discussion or have this
• 51:08
  talk about this thing and and I I also think and secondly women
• 51:14
  have to know what it is that they want.
• 51:18
  That's the second thing. If a woman does not know what
• 51:20
  she wants, then she cannot communicate that to her husband.
• 51:24
  It's not indeed, this is just my approach myself, but this is the
• 51:29
  way I function. Everybody don't believe, and
• 51:32
  everybody don't agree with it. But I this is what I believe,
• 51:36
  that a woman should be able to discover her own pleasure in
• 51:42
  order to be able to share what pleases her with her husband.
• 51:46
  Because I always say I don't want my husband, you know,
• 51:49
  groping around in the dark or, you know, trying to figure stuff
• 51:52
  out just as easy to tell him, You know what I'm saying?
• 51:57
  That's annoying to me. I'm just going to say that's
• 51:59
  annoying to me. I don't want, no, I don't want
• 52:03
  you to try to figure it out. I can just tell you easily, OK
• 52:07
  And that's that's part of our our, our shame.
• 52:11
  And embarrassment. 30 minutes past you still trying to figure
• 52:14
  it out. 30 minutes ago. And I'm rolling my eyes up in my
• 52:18
  head and I'm like, Oh my God, when is he going to get the
• 52:20
  memo? And you know, we do that so it's
• 52:23
  easier. And then of course once you know
• 52:26
  you out of the mood, then it it's over for us.
• 52:29
  It's over. It's so hard to get to get back
• 52:32
  there for us. And that's just, that's just a
• 52:35
  natural thing because of, you know, how our brain works,
• 52:39
  period. Our brains and our emotions
• 52:40
  work. So whatever we can, whatever she
• 52:44
  can do to help him help her is going to benefit both of them.
• 52:50
  Yeah. So yeah.
• 52:51
  And and then a lot of men have not been taught trust and
• 52:57
  believe. They have not been taught about
• 53:00
  a woman's sexuality. All the information that they've
• 53:03
  been taught is about a man's sexuality.
• 53:06
  You know, they got this penis, they stick it in a vagina, they
• 53:08
  hump a couple of times and then they have an orgasm.
• 53:11
  And that's supposed to be the end of it.
• 53:13
  But you got a whole another female with sexual needs just
• 53:17
  like you. And it was a question that
• 53:21
  someone asked, you know, about that.
• 53:23
  And I and I was like, you know, men think women don't have
• 53:28
  sexual needs. And my answer, of course, was of
• 53:32
  course they do. Just like you have sexual needs,
• 53:35
  women have sexual needs. And men, you know, men get lazy.
• 53:40
  They do. And if you don't, if you don't
• 53:43
  call them on their laziness, then they're going to stay lazy,
• 53:47
  right? So and yes, so women have to
• 53:49
  require men to step up to the plate, their husbands to step up
• 53:53
  to the plate by their own self empowerment and their own, you
• 53:58
  know, personal power. So they and what and what their
• 54:01
  information is about their own pleasure and their own
• 54:05
  sexuality. So I just believe that as long
• 54:08
  as women know what they want, that's going to empower them to
• 54:12
  be able to speak up to their husbands about what it is that
• 54:17
  they need. Yeah.
• 54:19
  And and you know, a lot of times this is something my husband
• 54:22
  told me. He said whenever a man thinks
• 54:28
  something is work outside of his job, he don't want to do it.
• 54:33
  So there has to be some some creativity that has to take
• 54:39
  place. So the wife is going to and
• 54:43
  unfortunately yes we have to put in more work at times we do.
• 54:48
  But I like to look at it as an opportunity versus.
• 54:52
  So we got to do this again you know I'm the one that got to be
• 54:56
  initiative, you know whatever we say, whatever we think.
• 55:00
  So exactly. Yeah.
• 55:02
  So I mean, we just have to do that sometimes because they
• 55:07
  don't know about us, our bodies and our sexuality and our needs
• 55:11
  like we think they should because of what society says.
• 55:15
  So she can be creative, You know, she could bring some games
• 55:19
  in or she could, you know, maybe she could pretend to be somebody
• 55:24
  else if he goes for that kind of thing or you know, even do that
• 55:28
  out on a date. She can do like a little
• 55:30
  treasure hunt. She can promise him something.
• 55:32
  So it's like a few things that she could she could do and and,
• 55:37
  but but one of the number one things that that my husband has
• 55:39
  shared with me is this. It's important to to nurture
• 55:43
  your man and then inspire him from the nurturing with
• 55:48
  whatever. It is that she.
• 55:49
  And yeah, that she. I like to do.
• 55:52
  Yeah. So that's really important for
• 55:54
  men to nurture, to nurture them, you know, because they come from
• 55:58
  their Mama who nurtured them. And you know, here's another
• 56:01
  female. They think we supposed to
• 56:03
  nurture them too. I mean, and and we should, we
• 56:07
  should nurture each other. But, you know, I just think, you
• 56:10
  know the mindset, like I said, your mindset is everything.
• 56:13
  And if you make a commitment to do something that you know it,
• 56:17
  it helps you to shift your mindset on a more positive side
• 56:22
  versus the oh God, I got to do this thing, you know, So yeah,
• 56:27
  so I I just think a shift in the, you know, her mindset is
• 56:30
  probably, you know, the first and foremost thing and really
• 56:33
  believing that this, this is going to make our sex life
• 56:36
  better. It's going to get my needs met,
• 56:38
  help me to get my needs met, you know, so this this is a place
• 56:41
  where they can come from in in a in a self loving way, not a
• 56:45
  selfish, you know, manipulative way, but like in a self loving
• 56:50
  way, in a loving your relationship way.
• 56:53
  And a wanting to, you know, for your sex life to really be
• 56:56
  something positive even when you know your husband can't or
• 57:00
  thinks he can't perform anymore Because a lot of it is medical
• 57:05
  issues. You know, people, a lot of these
• 57:07
  men are suffering from diabetes or some other kind of medical
• 57:11
  condition where they're taking medication and the medication is
• 57:14
  really the thing that's that's causing them to not be able to
• 57:18
  get and maintain an erection. And and there's this other book
• 57:22
  that I that's one of my resources called sexual
• 57:24
  intelligence. And it's just about looking at
• 57:27
  sex in a different way. Looking at sex is not just
• 57:30
  penetration but other ways to to make each other feel cherished
• 57:35
  and loved and sexually fulfilled.
• 57:37
  So that that's another another, you know, patch of information
• 57:41
  that men, you know, need to be sexual intelligence.
• 57:47
  And sexual intelligence. Yeah.
• 57:49
  By Marty Klein. And it just helps, you know,
• 57:54
  people to look at sex differently but differently.
• 57:57
  Yes, it's. And you have to.
• 57:58
  You have to as you age, you have to create a different kind of
• 58:02
  sexual life. You do, And a lot of men don't
• 58:06
  really know that it's and it's OK and it's OK and know.
• 58:12
  That it's OK. Yes.
• 58:15
  Yeah, it's perfectly okay. Because because sex is not just
• 58:19
  you sticking a man sticking his penis in a woman's vagina,
• 58:22
  humping a couple of times and then have an orgasm and it's
• 58:26
  done. Sex is the foreplay, Sex is the
• 58:30
  nurture. Sex is the caring, sex is the
• 58:32
  the whatever other kind of sexual activity.
• 58:36
  It could be anything that makes that that the couple agrees with
• 58:41
  any kind of sexual activity that they're doing, having with each
• 58:44
  other, that all of that is sex, not just just intercourse.
• 58:49
  So, and I think that's the thing too, where a lot of people get,
• 58:52
  a lot of men get frustrated because they think if they
• 58:55
  cannot get an erection and, you know, have sexual intercourse
• 58:59
  that that's the end of the world.
• 59:01
  But the truth is, and I I don't, I know a lot of people don't
• 59:04
  know this, but I I know some do and some don't.
• 59:07
  But a woman's pleasure does not necessarily come from
• 59:11
  intercourse alone. A woman's body is designed in in
• 59:17
  such a way where if you just penetrating you, 9 times out of
• 59:21
  10 you ain't. You're not hitting her clitoris
• 59:23
  or her or her her spot, her pleasure spot or her spot you're
• 59:27
  not. So the penetration for women,
• 59:30
  it's it's it's good because it, you know, it makes you feel good
• 59:35
  when you're really into the act. But as far as the total
• 59:39
  fulfillment and the orgasms of the climate?
• 59:42
  Not just that, just a dentration.
• 59:44
  Don't come from just intercourse, right?
• 59:46
  Don't come from intercourse alone.
• 59:47
  You have to stimulate that clitoris, that that woman's
• 59:50
  clitoris and that whole area, not just that little bud, but
• 59:53
  like the whole area. Because this is a whole, whole
• 59:56
  structure that inside of a woman, not just that little bud.
• 1:00:01
  I mean it's like just think of the Ben's head of men's penis is
• 1:00:04
  the only part of his his genitals and you got all this
• 1:00:06
  other stuff, you got the whole staff you got, you know, you
• 1:00:09
  got, you got the the Ridge around the the, the head of the
• 1:00:12
  you got the, the, the grow them, you got the ball sack, you got
• 1:00:16
  the energy, you got all that. You got the whole thing.
• 1:00:19
  You got the whole thing. Same thing with a woman.
• 1:00:22
  It's more than just that, you know, one little thing.
• 1:00:24
  So, yeah, so I I think that information will free a lot of
• 1:00:27
  people because a lot of people don't know that.
• 1:00:30
  And I mean even if you know your, your listeners can watch
• 1:00:34
  this with their husbands, right? That would even be great just to
• 1:00:38
  get some tidbits or some information that they didn't
• 1:00:40
  have before. Exactly, yeah.
• 1:00:44
  Exactly. Wow, that is absolutely awesome.
• 1:00:48
  Some awesome information has been given.
• 1:00:52
  Some awesome. I really appreciate you.
• 1:00:55
  I thank you. I know the listeners.
• 1:00:57
  I know the listeners. I've been blessed, have learned
• 1:01:01
  something and I hope they sit down, take notes because I'm
• 1:01:04
  going to go back and I'm going to listen to it again.
• 1:01:06
  This particular podcast will be out on Wednesday, which is the
• 1:01:11
  what, 27th? On 27th at 2:00 you can you can
• 1:01:18
  download the Spotify app if you do not have the app because.
• 1:01:22
  If you don't have the app and you just try to play it, you
• 1:01:25
  just going to hear it, just going to be audio.
• 1:01:28
  But you need the app in order to see us, to see and hear the
• 1:01:32
  interview. And I hope that it, I hope that
• 1:01:36
  it changed the whole perspective about sex.
• 1:01:40
  Women that are married, we just can't go around with having
• 1:01:45
  sexless marriage and then all the single people out there
• 1:01:49
  having sex. And we could care less.
• 1:01:53
  We just want to do. Get up.
• 1:01:55
  Good morning. See you later.
• 1:01:58
  Have a good day. Good evening.
• 1:02:01
  How was your day? What's for dinner?
• 1:02:04
  Good night. Get back up.
• 1:02:05
  Next day. Same.
• 1:02:07
  Same. Same.
• 1:02:08
  We can't continue to do that because your your your marriage
• 1:02:13
  is just like dormant. It would just lie dormant.
• 1:02:17
  And God created sex for marriage.
• 1:02:22
  It. There's no age limit.
• 1:02:24
  Oh, there's no age limit, people.
• 1:02:26
  Oh, no, We're having sex, girl. We're too over there.
• 1:02:28
  We don't have enough sex. No, there's no age limit.
• 1:02:33
  There's no age limit. And like you said that a lot.
• 1:02:40
  Exactly. And like you said, there's a lot
• 1:02:43
  that men. Need to learn as well.
• 1:02:47
  You know if they if they feel that they they can't perform
• 1:02:54
  then they think it's all over. That's it.
• 1:02:59
  We're like you said going through the vaginal going
• 1:03:02
  through the vaginal drying. OK find out what can you do to
• 1:03:07
  help that. Absolutely.
• 1:03:08
  Just like you say, there's thing.
• 1:03:10
  There's there's something out there for everything.
• 1:03:12
  You just have to find and you have to want.
• 1:03:15
  You have to want. You have to want to.
• 1:03:17
  That's it. That's it.
• 1:03:18
  And then and and when it comes to marriage, there's no limit
• 1:03:23
  when it comes to the bedroom long as long as it doesn't
• 1:03:26
  involve another person and long as then long as in both of you
• 1:03:33
  are comfortable with what you're doing.
• 1:03:35
  There's no limit if you're free. There's no man, absolutely.
• 1:03:40
  That's beautiful. We we got it.
• 1:03:42
  We we got to step. Step up to our gang.
• 1:03:44
  I don't care how. I don't care if you ate.
• 1:03:47
  I don't care how old you step up to the gang, OK?
• 1:03:51
  That's. Right, girl, I ain't thinking
• 1:03:56
  about no man. I ain't thinking about no sex
• 1:03:58
  and blah blah blah. You're just like you living with
• 1:04:00
  your brother. I mean, just y'all just free.
• 1:04:04
  Y'all just friends. Y'all just roommates.
• 1:04:07
  Let's take it to the next level. Let's take it.
• 1:04:09
  Let's take our marriage to the next level.
• 1:04:11
  Let's have not just a surviving marriage, but a thriving
• 1:04:16
  marriage and First Lady, You have been a blessing to us.
• 1:04:21
  Let the listeners know where they can find you again.
• 1:04:25
  And also let them know about is it October?
• 1:04:30
  In October, you're doing a series, is that correct?
• 1:04:33
  Yes. Is it October?
• 1:04:35
  It's October. Yes, October.
• 1:04:37
  So fast. Yeah, yes, they are so fast.
• 1:04:42
  Let them know. Let them know about how they can
• 1:04:45
  find your own social media, your e-mail, you know.
• 1:04:48
  So a lot of time people they are, they are e-mail you.
• 1:04:52
  Because that's what I get a lot of emails where people want to
• 1:04:55
  ask questions, tell them how they can get in touch with you.
• 1:04:59
  Okay and I love questions. So please if you have any
• 1:05:02
  questions, e-mail me and ask Mavis at mavismcknight.com nice
• 1:05:09
  and simple. You know my name, you know my
• 1:05:11
  e-mail and yeah and you can also visit
• 1:05:14
  my.website@askcoachmavis.com And as far as as my doing a five day
• 1:05:23
  challenge, a free five day challenge from October 9th, I
• 1:05:28
  believe it's to the to the 13th. Where I'm going to be talking
• 1:05:31
  about fire and desire is if you are not in a mood for sex or
• 1:05:35
  lost your desire for sex and you don't know why and you think
• 1:05:39
  you've tried everything. I'm going to help you to to
• 1:05:43
  identify some of the things that are holding you back.
• 1:05:47
  And I'm going to help you to be able to to to apply some of the
• 1:05:51
  things that I'm going to share with you.
• 1:05:53
  So if you're lacking desire, sexual desire, then please, I'm
• 1:05:58
  I'm inviting you to to sign up for my 5 day challenge October
• 1:06:03
  9th. Through the 13th.
• 1:06:07
  Wow, that's awesome. That's awesome.
• 1:06:11
  Well, ladies, I hope that you have enjoyed this and I
• 1:06:16
  appreciate you. I asked that you I said it at
• 1:06:18
  the beginning. If I say it again, please share.
• 1:06:23
  Please share this podcast. You never know who needs to hear
• 1:06:27
  this because people are everybody not sitting around
• 1:06:29
  talking about sex or they talking about it in a negative
• 1:06:32
  way. And people need to hear this.
• 1:06:37
  They need to know this. They need to find her Okay.
• 1:06:40
  I got notes. I got notes all over here.
• 1:06:45
  That's right. Okay Okay.
• 1:06:47
  Okay, because she caught my attention on a I think it was it
• 1:06:52
  was alive. It was alive that Chris has
• 1:06:58
  shared. I believe that's I think with my
• 1:07:00
  very first time and my eels was up and I've been stalking and
• 1:07:05
  I've been stalking her ever since.
• 1:07:07
  She's in my she's in my face. She's in my Facebook group and I
• 1:07:11
  appreciate you being. In my Facebook group.
• 1:07:13
  But I want to say once again, thank you, thank you, thank you,
• 1:07:16
  I appreciate you. And ladies, as I always say,
• 1:07:20
  always try to leave a person better than you found them.
• 1:07:26
  Go and have a great rest of your day and be blessed.
• 1:07:32
  Thank. You so much for joining us for
• 1:07:33
  this episode of the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast.
• 1:07:37
  If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to like,
• 1:07:40
  subscribe, leave a review or comment.
• 1:07:42
  You know all that good stuff that helps other folks like you
• 1:07:44
  find the podcast. Please come back every month on
• 1:07:47
  the 2nd and 4th Wednesday for new episodes.
• 1:07:50
  You can also find Janice on our website www.janicevance.com
• 1:07:56
  where you can order her book Women Majoring in Marriage.
• 1:07:59
  And for more fun content, be sure to check out our Facebook
• 1:08:02
  group at Women Majoring in Their Marriage.
• 1:08:05
  Also, if you have any questions or would like to reach out, feel
• 1:08:08
  free to send us an e-mail at the marriage major@gmail.com.
• 1:08:13
  Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll catch you in the next
• 1:08:15
  episode.