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Transcript

Dispelling the Myths—Five Writer Excuses · Reality Writes

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to reality rights.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I am author Ellie Alexander and I'm here with I am the tech guy.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: The tech guy.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: How's it going today?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: All the way from over there.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know, like opposite rooms.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Weird.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Next door.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: One of these days we'll get uh around to building a set or something that we can sit side by side.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be great.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Come on.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: A girl could bring.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Seems seems to be the way most podcasts go.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we've got to manifest that.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on it.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on it.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so this week we thought we would talk a little bit about um some of the most common, let's just call them excuses, because unfortunately, that's kind of what they are.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's gonna be a little bit of tough love for writers this week.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, these are all themes that come up a lot when I am doing coaching.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so they are not unique.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're pervasive and they're things that every writer struggles with, and especially new writers.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we are gonna talk about some tips for overcoming some of the most common excuses.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and as uh somebody who helps out with uh all things tech, the web, yeah, the the website, social media accounts, etc., I've seen these comments um to on a lot of your posts, like whenever you're doling out free advice and and giving great tips and tricks on writing and motivation and success and manifestation and all that.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I see them every time because they always start with yes, but yeah, but I don't know for me, but you know, it's just always there's always just an excuse.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know, which is okay.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sometimes, you know, it might be that you're not ready, but if you're ready and you're writing, um, or if you're you know, you're the you're finding these myths that we're gonna talk about, or these um, you know, problems, these challenges that we're gonna talk about today.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Challenges.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, challenges.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling with them, I think there is something helpful in knowing that they're you universal, they're not unique to you, which is great because that's what I'm saying.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're all things that I myself struggled with and found challenging early on.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and still probably some of them stick with me today.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But because I have had, you know, a deck, a decade plus of writing and 40 books out in the world, I've learned to either assimilate some of these things or hopefully overcome them.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So the first one that we're gonna talk about is a big one.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um, this is the idea of releasing perfectionism, which is a giant roadblock and hurdle for so many writers, and I think just humans in general, right?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: We we want everything to be perfect, and perfect is a myth.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect does not exist, it doesn't.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you're talking about.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, I I struggle with this one.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I I'm the first to admit it, I struggle with this all the time because I mean, even when like putting stuff together like this, yeah, I'm like, well, the sound levels don't sound great or whatever.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm I mean, where my whole thing about building a uh a set for the podcast because I'm in less than ideal conditions.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: The only reason I wear headphones is because it is really noisy in here.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: As you can see, there's like, well, for those of you who are watching, but those of you who aren't, there are four 3D printers going behind me.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because uh our son Sky Guy, uh Sky Guy Customs, he's got always got stuff going and we share this space, and it's just so this is where I record.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: So then I have to do a bunch of sound editing to make it perfect.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, but is it ever really perfect?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's not, it's not, exactly.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I get it, I get it good enough that I it sounds good to me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if it sounds good to me, then hopefully that's good enough for everybody else.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, yeah, and this has come up so much in my private coaching.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny how um themes always seem to appear.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just one writer who I'm working with, but it'll be multiple writers over the course of a week or two.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And this came up four times last week, all with different clients, um, all of whom are just really struggling with that idea of their books are ready, they're as ready as they can make them at this stage, right?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: They have done all of the work.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, this this advice is not true if you're working on a first draft and you're like, I sent it to my mom and she loved it and said it's great.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, well, yeah.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, we'll talk about that uh in one of the next um tips that I'm gonna share.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: But um, trying to embrace the idea that done is better than perfect once you have put in all the work.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you've written a first draft, you've edited it two or three or four times yourself, you've sent it to beta readers, you've touched it again, like you've given it time to rest, you have spent many, many, many, many hours with this book.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And always when you get to the point that you feel done with it, you're sick of looking at it, you're like, I there's nothing else I can do at this stage to make it better.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I know it's time to just send it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So whether that's to a professional editor, to a literary agent, whatever, when you have put in the slog and you've gotten feedback and you have perfected it to the best of your abilities, it is time to embrace that it is done.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's never gonna be perfect.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And even if you think it's perfect, you're gonna come back like so many people end up touching my books.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I will have done all of that work that we just talked about.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I will send it to an editor and then it goes through copy edits and page groups, and all these professional people touch it.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And inevitably, two days into a release, a reader will email me and be like, you know, on page 32, you know, I found this grammatical error.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Readers love to see that.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody thinks that they're perfect.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: So right.
• 6:26
  unknown: Yeah.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's don't even get me started.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta wait till the after party for that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's that's after party material.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that you should send a manuscript out that is littered with errors, but there is this shift that happens where then you start to touch a manuscript too much.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: You tinker it with with it too much, you get too much feedback.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then it just all falls apart and it's not it doesn't even resemble the book that you started with.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I think it's in a bad way.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: In a bad way, yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I suppose that there are probably examples that would prove me wrong on that, but I would think that they're the exception to the rule, right?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that you can basically just edit something to death.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can take all of the joy out of it, you can take all of the light and the spark and the creativity out of it by murdering it with too many edits.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and that is where perfectionism comes into play because it's like I can't release it because someone else may not love it.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, not everybody's gonna love your book.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: There's just no chance that that's never gonna happen.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Never gonna happen.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, and and if you don't believe that, like I challenge anybody as you go to I'm not gonna name names, go to any online book seller and look at even the most popular books that have 10,000 reviews, let's say, you're gonna see the breakdown of the number five, four, three, two, and one star.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And inevitably, there are going to be a percentage of two and one star reviews.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: There just are because it doesn't matter how perfect you try to make something, there are going to be people that are going to loathe what you've created.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because folks it's all subjective.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I think that that idea of needing to make it perfect often paralyzes uh writers too, especially you know, when you're in, and I understand it's it's so scary.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, there's probably nothing more vulnerable in the world than sending something off that you have spent all of this time and energy on and that you care about to a literary agent if you're going that route to publication, let's say.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and likely you're gonna get some rejections.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think for a number of my clients, they're at that phase where it's like, okay, it's time to send it and hear from some professionals.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then at that point, if you get professional feedback returned, then it's probably time to reopen the document and make some changes based on some fresh eyes and a professional lens potentially.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: But um, it can just kind of keep you stuck because it's scary to submit it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the same goes for I have a client whose paths of publication is she's ready to go indie.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the last thing she has to do is send it to her professional editor and then, you know, upload it and put it out in the world.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's the same thing, knowing like, oh, once I do that, readers are gonna read this.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they are, and sure, you might have some one in two star reviews, but you're gonna have a lot of other readers who love and adore it.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it it's not just like you can it you'll stay stuck, but it can also just really slow you down, too.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So if you if you it, you know, and I and I again I said at the beginning of this, like this is one for me in particular that I have struggled with, and I've gotten much better.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I still it's still a challenge for me.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's still something that I actively think about when I'm creating stuff because again, I I make a lot of things.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it was very early on, you know, you you would tell me, like, no, we just we just need to get we need 300 of these, and we they have to be done tonight, so we just need to do them, and they're not all going to be perfect, and it didn't matter what those things, what these things were.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was just it was inevitably I'd look over, it was something, let's say we were folding papers, and I would get done with like three, and I'd look over and you'd done 40.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: How did you do those so fast?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you were like, How did you do those so slow?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, or slowly, I guess.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: But um, yeah, I it it is just thinking about especially, I imagine, and correct me if I'm wrong, but what I imagine with writing, you know, you're you're trying to stick to a schedule, right?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, like for especially for traditional publishing, you have a release date and you're working backwards, like project management would call it working backwards from you know your your launch or release date.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're taking four times as long to get that draft done because you're trying to make it perfect, you're not gonna hit that release date.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And no, and uh the same is true in indie publishing.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, really because publishing has shifted so much in the last few years, it used to be like, oh, maybe you're putting out one or two books a year, one book a year, Castle.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: But now, you know, yeah, with the way uh indie in particular, you know, I have author friends who are putting stuff out every month, every two months.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you you cannot get bogged down by the minutiae of perfection.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and the the other the last thing I'll say on this is if you do that, especially in the early stage, if you do get bogged down and it wastes time and and you spend a lot more time on those early phases than you should have, what you will end up doing inevitably is ruining all of the effort that you put in in those early phases because you will rush through the the last phases.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And when you rush through them, you're gonna miss something, you're gonna mess something up, and and you're going to end up with a final product or creation that is less than what you want it to be, and it will it'll hurt, it'll really hurt.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think like you know, nitpicking something to death just kills that creative energy.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so usually when you're finishing a book, you're already thinking about, oh, what's the next book?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And these other ideas are starting to take um hold and you you kind of crush some of that energy in the process too.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're struggling with that, it's okay.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But our gift to you today is to embrace the mantra that done is better than perfect.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a great mantra.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, say it out loud.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Done is better than perfect.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: I do like I do like checking off boxes, so that is a good mantra.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's done.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're moving on.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Start something new, send it out, and then you can uh you can come back and fix it again.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, all right, so I alluded to beta readers.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I would say one of the requests that I get most often, at least three or four emails a week from writers, is how do you find beta readers?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there are so many ways to find beta readers, and it's often unique to you and your situation, right?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: But there are paid beta reading sites, there are also sensitivity readers that I think that's really important if you're writing from a lens that you're, you know, not familiar with.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know always if you should be writing from a lens that you're not familiar with, but that's that's another topic, perhaps.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: But you can find sensitivity readers who can give you feedback about like, wow, this this might be really um hurtful to a certain um population, which I'm sure is not your intent or your goal.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Beta readers can also be fellow writers, they can be friends and family.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that's a slippery slope going back to I sent it to my mom and she loved it.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Of course she did it.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's your mom, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so you want to use discernment in terms of who you're sending your manuscript to for feedback.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's really important to have beta readers in the genre you're writing.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you're writing a cozy mystery.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make a lot of sense to send that cozy mystery to um someone who only reads sci-fi or someone who only reads literary fiction.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: This guy's like, Now, why did you pick sci-fi?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, this is like it's almost like this has come up between us before not at all.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're actually a great beta reader.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um because you also are very honest in your feedback.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't provide me just with glowing feedback if you've read a book.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you're always great about saying what's working, but you're also very honest about saying, hey, this, I, you know, this could really be strengthened, or I was confused here.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or yeah, but that's because you'll see right through me if I'm lying to you and I say, This is the greatest thing I've ever read, you'll be like, You're sleeping on the couch tonight.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's right.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but this has come up a lot again with um students in my mystery series masterclass, as well as my private coaching clients.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's funny because in that class, I have a whole beta reading form.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I don't think you should send a manuscript to beta readers and just ask them for feedback because you're gonna get wildly different feedback.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, somebody might go through and give you um basically like a copy edit, which is not what you're looking for.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: That and you might be looking for that later.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you want to direct your beta readers.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to give them some parameters, you know, maybe it's asking for specific feedback about characters, who you thought the killer was, if we're talking cozy, um, you know, where they might have stopped reading, where they got bored, where they got lost, red herrings, you know, like things like that.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I think you provide them with structured questions.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: So they give you tailored responses back.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you pick them wisely.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a client who was lamenting because their manuscript just got butchered by a beta reader.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: This beta reader exclusively reads literary fiction, doesn't like anything that's plot-driven, um, it's a terrible match for a cozy mystery.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you getting out of that?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: And also, you're kind of wasting that reader's time, too.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, and your time, because then you're gonna get a bunch of negative feedback that you're gonna take personally and you're not in the and then you're going to consider making changes to a manuscript that you shouldn't be making because they were made by somebody who doesn't even like the genre.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: But that's an important point, too, right?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is that if you have, let's say you have 10 beta readers and one person despises the book and is honest with you about it, not not in a mean way, but just they it just didn't work for them.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And they they think you should make all these changes and everything, but that isn't consistent feedback across that beta reader, uh beta reader group.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: You shouldn't like so I worked a long time in advertising, and we would do focus groups, like paid focus groups all the time for client products and stuff.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we you call that an outlier.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: That that's just something you if if there's something glaring that they caught that that you yourself are like, yeah, that is true.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: I should change that, that's fine.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: But for the most part, you should not glom on to that feedback just because it was the most critical and because it hurt you the most or whatever, and take it personally and everything.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Set that aside and concentrate on the group that that was, you know, had more a more consistent theme for their feedback because that's what's gonna strengthen the book.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's not going to be taking the individual pieces that every single person said and making all of those changes.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's it's gonna be identifying those themes.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then with those outliers, you can kind of say, like, all right, I I can choose to look at that or I can just pass on that and move on.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's such a thing about too many beta readers, too.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think three to five is probably a sweet spot.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then I know, I think I said 10.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: That shouldn't don't listen to me.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm just a tech guy.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just a tech guy.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you brought it up because actually that's happened.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had I had a client last week who sent her manuscript out to 20 people.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what are you gonna do with 20 pieces?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like just going through that is gonna take you uh, I you're not even gonna finish the book, basically, because you're gonna be bogged down by beta reading feedback forever.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I think three to five is the sweet sweet spot.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: You want to give them some clear things to be on the lookout for.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then yeah, you want to take that feedback.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, it's your story.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: So if if you don't want to incorporate any of that feedback, don't.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you find it helpful, absolutely do.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully you are picking beta readers who are gonna give you some constructive feedback.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: You also don't want to send it to people who are just gonna be mean for no reason.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, don't send it to and um, you know, even though your best friend's mom is a retired English teacher, the way an English teacher might provide feedback for an essay is very different than how book feedback works too.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, there there are so many layers here, but I can already I can already hear some after-party comments coming on the board.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the next thing we're gonna talk about, this is a big one.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is a hot button topic, controversial, but um, it is writer's block.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh boy, here we go.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is uh I'm trying to trying to think.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is like uh um I'm trying to think for me what this would be like to you.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is like probably your biggest, your biggest issue.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like that that people bring up with you all the time.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: All the time.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Every time, every time.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's the reason a book doesn't get done.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's the reason.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I feel like we need to banish this idea of writer's block.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: I also think that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because if you tell yourself you're blocked, of course you're gonna be blocked, which is not to say that I don't struggle with like what's coming next in the story, or um, you know, I sit down or stand up and magically, you know, everything just happens and I have 2,000 words in 15 minutes.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, of course not.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: But this idea of writer's block is such a stopping point for I would say like 95% of the writers that I work with.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you've gotten so far into a story, and then something happens and you don't know what happens next, and then you just stop.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when you stop, again, you lose all that momentum, you walk away from it.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, writers then never come back and pick it up.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think first and foremost, we banish this idea of writer's block.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's no such thing.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: No such thing.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: No such thing as range block.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what you're talking about.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's no such thing.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: We shall not speak of it.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: We shall not speak of it.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um we banish this idea of being blocked and we figure out what we're gonna do to shift our perspective.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: So with my coaching clients, sometimes I will tell them to physically move, like walk away from your computer, go for a walk, go for a hike, go for a swim, exercise, like do something else.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, same thing in the house, like go start another project.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can do, I mean, I could talk on this subject for I don't know how many hours because this is what I spend a large chunk of my time helping writers with.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, you can brainstorm all kinds of possibilities that might happen next, that wouldn't happen next.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can do some fear storming exercises where you try to talk through like why you're blocked and what you're scared of, because a lot of times, you know, going back to that perfection myth, it's the same thing.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, I'm scared I've gotten this far into the story, and now like it's starting to feel real and maybe it's taking shape.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And am I doing this?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Am I a writer?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Am I worthy?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like all these other emotional pieces come up.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, did you say fear storming?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Fear storming.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I heard beer storming, and I was like, that's gonna be something totally different, like entirely, right?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think beer storming is equally good, if not better.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I need a beer storming t-shirt now.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I just there's it's just it's it's another way that you keep yourself stuck.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you work through it again, you might write something on the page next that is total crap, and you know that you're gonna have to fix it later, which is what I do 95% of the time myself.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I keep a notebook, let me show you, right here next to my desk of like things that I'm gonna fix, and I just keep going.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because otherwise it does become this self-fulfilling prophecy, like I said, where you get blocked, you stay blocked, you believe you're blocked, and then you're done.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't want that to happen.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to send your book out.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: We need more books in the world.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think part of the problem it's been it's become so pervasive because um we are used to seeing every day in our lives, everybody, you see videos or you read articles about people who are doing amazing things and making it look easy.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so we expect that from ourselves all the time.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I expect when I I make candles and I expect I'm just going to mix up the perfect fragrance and just crank out a hundred candles in an hour.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And when that doesn't happen, I you know, or if I if I if I'm struggling trying to figure it out, I get frustrated.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's because I've seen so many Instagram videos, you know, for example, of people just like, you know, here you go.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's a hundred candles in less than 90 seconds.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's those are edited videos, right?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: And no matter how talented those people are, and there are some really freaking talented people out there, they had to work really hard to get to where they're at.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: They struggled just like everybody else.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they probably still struggle today.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: You just don't see that video, right?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: You don't see that on social media, you don't see somebody like failing, picking themselves up and moving forward.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: You just see the the perfect, you know, oh, look how easy it is.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: The one that kills me, that just kills me all the time, is the how I create content for social media, like six months worth of content for social media in one hour.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, you don't.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, you don't.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, you don't.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you just don't.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't care what they say, it's uh it doesn't happen that way.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: It takes work, it takes, it takes a lot of effort.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I think that's that's all good advice.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: I and I I like the fear storming.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I like that, but I do like beer storming too.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: I like beer storming.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: We're in fact, after this, we probably need a beer storming session.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the last thing I will say about this, going back to you know, your point about work, is if you are treating your writing seriously, which you should, I don't I my advice is always I don't think you should take yourself seriously, but I think you should take your writing seriously.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: I take my writing seriously, it's my job.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: And um other professions don't say that they're blocked.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I was hoping you were gonna get into this because this is my favorite.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know, but I've said this a zillion times.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry if I've said it to you, darlings, but I'll say it again because it's worth remembering.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it is again another consistent thing that comes up across the board with my coaching clients.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that is that like a doctor isn't blocked.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: They don't say like, can't do surgery today because you know, I'm just not feeling it.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Teachers aren't blocked.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: They have like maybe they don't have the best lesson plan, but they have to go on.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like a baker isn't blocked.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: They have to like, they might have a baking fail, but they're gonna keep baking because they've got clients waiting out front for their croissance.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: So um I think that it's a little bit of a letdown in terms of our entire creative writing community that we've allowed this myth to continue, that it's like, oh, it's okay, because you know, you're a creative, so of course you get blocked.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's a job.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have to finish the book.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm gonna find a way to finish the book.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'm not gonna tell myself that I'm blocked.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think I think those are all great examples.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think the easiest thing for people to do is think of their day job and think if you just went into your day job and just sat there staring at your desk or you stood there staring at a wall, whatever your job involves, and got nothing done for the day.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: And your boss, your manager, whatever came to you and said, Why didn't you get anything done today?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Could you could you say I was blocked?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's not gonna be no, that's not gonna go over well.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I don't think that's gonna work.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you find a way, you might be feeling blocked, but you find a way to work around that in your day job because you still have a job, right?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, so so if you can do it in your day job, you can do it in your writing.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: Is that fair to say?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, a thousand percent.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the next thing, uh, and this is something that I still struggle with, 40 books in, you know, a long career of writing at this stage, um, is this idea of comparison.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and one of my favorite quotes is comparison is the thief of joy.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so many writing students who I work with um are just tenderhearted about the idea of comparison.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is another thing in the world of writing that often stops somebody from continuing because they will say, like, oh, you know, I just finished this draft and I've gotten some beta reading feedback on it and I've done the work and I I feel good about it, but it's not as good as X, right?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm not gonna send it.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and maybe I'll just put this one away forever, and maybe I shouldn't be a writer because I just read this book then, and um, I'm nowhere near as good as that author.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I shouldn't be writing.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, A, you're starting somewhere, just like going back to our professional example.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: A professional baker has to go through culinary school.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like with writing, you have to write a lot, and every time we write, we get better.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because we're we're honing our craft, we're practicing, we're improving, we're hopefully getting feedback along the way.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so a lot of times this idea of comparison just shuts someone down, and it's heartbreaking to me because everyone's story is gonna be completely different.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you and I had the exact same, you know, scenario or um sketch for a story, we would write two completely different books because we're totally different people.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and again, it goes it goes back to what I was saying earlier, too, is that we just we're constantly bombarded with images and and words showing that there are people out there that are doing the same thing that that we're doing, but in our opinion, doing it better.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I think uh there are a number of factors at play.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like one, we're always our own worst critics.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we're we all uh automatically, and I I'm saying this from experience, I automatically think my stuff is the worst when I'm comparing it to other things.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: And but the thing that that I've realized over the years is that one, it's not, um, it's different.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's just different, and and but it instead of worrying about trying to be better than all those things that I'm seeing, I use those as things where I'm like, oh, I could improve things this way, and in the way the technique I'm making things in or whatever, and and use that to like help myself learn and and grow in in whatever it is I'm doing.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then the other thing is like if you're creating something, the market is so huge for what you are doing.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you're a niche, a niche market, it is so big.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: There are very few markets out there where only one or two creators can exist and make a living doing it.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually hundreds or thousands of people could be doing the exact same thing and making money or create, you know, bringing joy to people or whatever it is that you're trying to do.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: It it you don't have to worry about being the best or being number one because the best and number one are as subjective as whatever it is you're making.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: You can absolutely, you know, I mean, it's why it's why books get five, four, three, two, and one-star reviews, right?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it it you can't say like for somebody that gives a book a five-star review, they might think it's the best book they've ever read.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Another person can give it a one-star review because they hated it.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean about that book?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: It means that for one person, it was a great book, and for another person, it didn't resonate with them.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's all it means.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean anything else.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: It just doesn't mean anything.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, and if you're constantly comparing yourself to someone else, then you're not honing your craft as being your own storyteller, right?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're taking yourself out of your own narrative.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are the author of your books.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you stay in your lane and concentrate on making your own work the best it can possibly be, then you're gonna keep improving and succeeding and finding your readership.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the one piece of advice that I often give writers when they're stuck in this space is um to take a break from reading for a little while.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have given a number of my coaching students homework where they are not allowed to read for three or four weeks as they're in like the final editing process, because I've had so many students that get so caught up in this comparison.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so just give yourself permission to take a break, like do other stuff, take a painting, go for more hikes, like binge TV, whatever it is, um, so that you aren't in that headspace if that's something that you're struggling with.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, this goes, I mean, all of these things I think are so fascinating because they all really like dovetail on each other, but um, it does go back to that idea of perfectionism.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, you you might not ever be the next Jane Austen, but you might be the next Jane Doe or like whoever you are, you know?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, comparison is the thief of joy, it steals all of our joy.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's too bad, but good advice on getting over that.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, and then the last uh thing that we're gonna talk about, at least for this week's uh podcast, our little darlings, is um finding trusted sources.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um this one is again, it kind of ties into beta readers too, but I've had a number of clients who um will have taken advice from sort of anyone and everyone.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I think it's important if you're trying to carve out a writing career that you find trusted sources because everyone has an opinion about something.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it doesn't necessarily mean that um they're correct, or maybe maybe they're attempting to be helpful, but it might not be helpful to you and your writing career.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's put it that way.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and especially be wary of people who are overly critical of things because of an experience that they themselves have had, because that is that that is something that it's a slippery slope, right?
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, um maybe they did, maybe they are they messed the process up and it was their fault, but they don't want to admit that.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so now they're telling everybody, no, you shouldn't ever do this or you shouldn't ever use that service because they're terrible.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it it's just like you have to be careful, you have to be discerning about what your what piece of advice, pieces of advice you're going to take.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: And and also kind of with the understanding of what works with you, too, because there is so much advice out there, and there are so many ways to do things, and writing is no different from anything else.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like there, you know, it when it comes to creativity, part of the creative process is that there are so many processes, right?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, it's finding what works for you.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I I say to all of my students, like, if if you have a trusted source, I'm using that in air quotes, darlings.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you have a trusted source that tells you there is their way is the one and only way to do this, like run, run through your life.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: I I would never, ever, ever say that to a student.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: I might say, like, hey, you know, here are some strategies and techniques that have worked for me.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Try these, make them your own.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've had a number of students who have been like, well, no, you know, I did blah, blah, blah.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: And they told me the only way to write a book is by X.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, of course not.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: I and that's just not true either.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have friends who write in 10 minute spurts.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have friends who start at the end and work their way back.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have friends who chunk out pieces.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, there's there's no right or wrong way.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, that's terrifying.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and the thing that the thing that always gets me about those too, because that that has come up with both your courses and your coaching is that like, well, then why aren't you doing it that way?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like if if you're, you know, if if that's the only way to do it, why are you here?
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you learning this new way to do it?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why aren't you just doing it right?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, like yeah, like you said, use discernment about your sources, like do a little research um and look into them.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I was first starting to write, and when I had my first and second book out in the world, I never would have been in a position to be teaching mystery writing.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until a long way into my career that I felt ready to be able to be like, oh, you know, I I feel like I've learned so much over the process in 40 plus books that I can offer some advice.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: And again, my advice might not resonate with you either.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's totally okay.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I wouldn't have been teaching when I had one book out in the world because I've learned so much with subsequent books and things that I would do differently.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, so I just I think sometimes um there are people who like to profess that they are an expert and um there is one and only one way to get something done.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um I I just don't buy into that and I don't think they should be that.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, they shouldn't um do your research.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not hard, like just do your research, you know.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And this is coming from a guy worked a couple decades in advertising, spending all of my time working with teams who we were trying to get people to pay money for products and services that they didn't need, but we you know, that was that's all you know that that that was our whole goal, and that's all a lot of people out there are trying to do too.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it it doesn't like just make sure that the advice is coming from uh you know, place of authenticity and that it's genuine, you know.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because a lot of these are like you can write a book in one day.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, sure.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Totally and with AI, you probably can now, but it's gonna be terrible.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, and are you really gonna feel good about it at the end of the day?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is that really what you want to do?
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if it is, great, but like I don't I don't think it is.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean if anybody out there really wants to write, I don't think that's the route you want to go.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the flip side, to like round up the conversation of trusted sources, is um I had a client a couple of weeks ago who it was almost like a counseling session.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: They were just sobbing through our entire session um because they had they had done a variety of courses and workshops over the years, and um, they had had so many instructors who had just beaten them down.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so they were like, this is so refreshing to have someone who is encouraging me.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so on the flip side, um, if somebody is an expert, let's say, and they're belittle belittling your work or you know, they're making you feel terrible about your writing, that's that's also not a trusted source.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: How is that gonna help you improve?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: Never.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're just gonna like sink into despair.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Constructive criticism and encouragement is like the way to go, right?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, on that note, um, for all of you darlings out there who are writing, uh, keep writing and um let's uh work on overcoming all five of these excuses together.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: And go easy on yourself.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't need to be perfect and and just let the creativity flow.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're creating something like that's right.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's uh beer storming if I've ever heard it.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like one help and celebrate yourself.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: Alright on that then until next time.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time.