Latest / Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr. / Ricky Smiley’s Heartfelt Journey Through Grief 💔

Transcript

Ricky Smiley’s Heartfelt Journey Through Grief 💔 · Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr.

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: Next, on the Love You More Show.
• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: I used to get up to a certain extent, but now I'm going through that loose on the sun and being dragged on the internet for two months on the one year anniversary of your sun's death.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, if I can get through that, man, I can get through anything, man.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I didn't start grieving until the one year.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then I got the pill with the cat wheels and the cubes at the same time.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: At the same time.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Love you, my love you, my love you, my love you, my love you, my love you, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna be honest with you, this is store-bought.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: All the customers that I had, I had grew up out of them, but I'm losing weight, you see I'm trying to, you know what I'm saying, slam it up just a little bit.
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: And whenever I put on clothes, I've only put on a few clothes for a few people.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: One Bishop Bronner, I wore a suit then in the KPD, I put a suit on.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Bishops said you didn't have to do that.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: I said you weren't friendly, I'll upstairs, me.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Huh, you got hair on your head.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Huh, ball hit ministry over here, you know about to do that.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: But thousands of people watched that episode.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: But when I had the opportunity to interview one of the most encouraging people that in my radio life that I've ever encountered, let me tell you, I'll let's see.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: They was like, you know, Ricky, he don't talk to nobody.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: He just tried to do his work.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I said, well, he just don't like y'all ever did, because he don't see nothing in you, because he always giving me something.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Um, he's a comedian.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: He is a radio personality.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: He is a TV star.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: But more importantly, he's a man of integrity.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: With old school morals that I adore.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's my brother from another mother.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: The one and only Ricky Smiley said, what's going on, champ?
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, no, man, thank you for having me.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, listen, I'm trying to get my posture together.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I put him on me here.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm on me here because you built them like you like an action figure.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got this book.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Good.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Tell me all that at this age, I don't take, I'm gonna do some push-ups when I leave you here.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's our good baby gap, it's baby gap, it's brought to you by baby gap.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, this is the long interview, because a lot of it, when we get together, it's always something.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know the one thing I love about you is that you're nice.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you know that one thing I don't like about you.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: What?
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I know.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you know, every time I see you, you go to high pin and jump in.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just be praying one day that you just be like, Well, I begin tired of you.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, come on, no, every time they see you jumping, I come in the studio, so as I see you.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, boom, boom, wow.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know I know, dog nasty.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, dog, yeah.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: So here go, there's me.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now y'all got the, now y'all got the new, the new little thing y'all do now.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I don't know what they're doing with the games.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I don't know what the new, the young boys do when they do it, when they do it, when they do it, it's smooth.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's smooth.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I try to do it.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think I came out of beta zeta chapter.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Those Alabama State, I think they started that from what I understand.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: When I was told.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well listen, I'm just let you know, I'm still old school.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I try to struggle with the young boys at the 40 of down that old miss.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, my knees and my thighs are so bad.
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I forgot how old I had got.
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I heard they bring the canes back.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I tell you one place they ain't lose them canes, but we can't talk about that on camera.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Praise the Lord.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: I went in there one time, I said, you know what?
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Up to over this, dude.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to see none of this stuff going on.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it was a 2,000, I'm going to say 99.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: 2,000 so it's 2,000 down at Ole Miss and you play the Ole Miss yeah, so I want to Ole Miss okay, Ole Miss saying you I play the music I saying you yeah, that's when it was on Jackson Avenue It was the Walmart in the mall they had a belt right there right
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, man, I really smiley.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then I said, you're not looking so happy.
• 4:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then I said, dog nasty.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, dog nasty everybody.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have the personal conversation in y'all watching my bad.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Dog nasty is a known cue.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: A couple of first-year men's to sit from capital beta.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: A big bro.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he's a great guy too.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to him.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, and I said, dog nasty.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, man, I'm going to Ricky smiley.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're like, don't say no to him.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't say no to him.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, oh, okay.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're doing something.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we're doing a lot of salsa.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: So how did you get connect?
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, then I need where I want to go.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: But how did you get connected with Captain Wade and Otter?
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: doing some community service in Jackson, Mississippi, at Tougaloo College over with Steve Smith.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then I was introduced to another brand white.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Whatever then I was introduced to the KB and the Cyro Brothers.
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: KB is Russ College or whatever.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then we end up in the situation there.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: And they made it happen because I was getting ready to host BET's County view.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: So that was a window and an opportunity to go ahead and get in pledge on that line.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Um, uh, grand chapter, which is the Ciro chapter.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Uh, and Holly Springs, Mississippi.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: to get that done, and I was made by Dr. McMillan, from Resson, Resson, and Heaven.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: He was the president of Russ College.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: And stuff, so my, I got a nice little relationship with the, you know, with the mighty white e-brothers, captivated to sorrow-brothers, and all the brus out of Mississippi, man, much love and respect.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, so Ricky, listen, the love you more show is all about people who've been through hurt heart breaks and how they overcome some of the things that they've been through.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to talk about what my Jamal brand glasses.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I seen them too.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: I went over Dr. Browns and I said, I didn't say this, this is him.
• 6:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's starting from Jamal Browns, it looked like that something you're wearing.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I thought this was this one, this one, this one, this one.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so what I want to do is I want to have an icebreaker tradition.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have an icebreaker with music and so in this particular episode Of course, I'm thinking in my relationship that I'm gonna just I'm gonna go to counseling right but when I get to the counselor I find out that she looked Like this check this out So wifey started counseling and she thought it would be a good idea for me to come to counseling
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, nobody really want to do this because I know she's been telling this woman all my business I walk in the counseling I didn't know her counsel with this fine She been telling all my business I walk in Hey ladies Oh, I was at the wrong spot and I'm uh, I thank you for joining us Truly my honor Willy Maltchie nice to meet you my honor This is my counselor April so nice to meet her wifey life So glad you can make it darling It's truly my honor You look amazing You do too
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So let's talk this out and from a hug I'm like, okay, you ready?
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am, you know, um, whatever you want me to do, I'm with it.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are you going to tell the truth?
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I promise I'm going to tell the truth, you worthy.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Huh, I was a little like a Christmas tree when I told her she was worth the child.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would do you better.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what you're doing, but I have to use like the clockware.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know the stops.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you see it?
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, sir, the name of the song is Clockwork.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is available now with every extreme music.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: See, you know, I put a little cap thing in there.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and I'm just going to do it again.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I do want to ask you this, a lot of people don't know.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Ricky was married at one time.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, long time ago, yeah.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: He was married for like 12 years.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, sir, right, you know.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I did my research and I just did not know because trying to get you to date now is like pulling teeth is like now It's hard man.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So tell me this to what when you when you were married I believe you'll start off your career.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and it's just like you need courageous about to take off when you look back What are some of the things that you learned in that 12 years?
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Um, make a sense you have a friendship in the marriage.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: If you don't have a friendship, you don't have anything.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Um, before you have a wife, you have the, she out to be a friend.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you have to be a friend to her.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: If y'all are not friends and only have a relationship, then the question becomes, what do you have?
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: You don't have anything.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so you out there doing whatever you need it to do to create the opportunity like how does a man balance like career and taking care of family?
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I personally know that there are so many people that you have helped in your family.
• 10:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, we used to make a joke about it like, you know, whenever somebody has some kids, they do not fall on the door, rain the dubbid, drop them off to Ricky and just respect them the right way.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So how does one balance?
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Just making time and getting, you know, putting people in place to help you have to have some assistance.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: You have to get some, find some uns, you know, with that grum on my vibe.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: It makes some good cornbread or whatever.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that there's going to also help with the discipline and the structure or whatever.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: You just have to have
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: somebody with the same mindset because you're the discipline there you demand, you know, saying, that's not an easy job because parents are just not a popularity contest.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: And most men don't care.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, most men don't care.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: We don't care about being kids, friends, or whatever we are the bad guys because we provide the discipline and the structure.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you have to have somebody that's not going to undermine your process and undermine what you're trying to accomplish with the kids, being in the leadership role in the
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, I mean, you hear now, though, you've done, I mean, pretty much everything you wrote on that list, when you saying Steve Harvey, you was like, man, listen, hi, I want to get there.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you took that journey.
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: How does Ricky find somebody now that you and this position that you can actually trust and be on some type of bridge with?
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: If Jesus is bringing all my poetry.
• 11:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: What?
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: If Jesus is personally,
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: bring her on my porch and you're like, Rick, you need to go back up and have her.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's the only way that you know.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, so you don't have a desire for companionship at this point.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm a human being, I'm a man.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, man and the man by himself at night ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't ain't
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, a grown man, you know, is like a flower and he's sunlight and water, you know, auditors about it.
• 12:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, for me is the companionship and the friendship.
• 12:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, I cook, you know, I clean.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm a really good cook.
• 12:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then about having nobody to come and do house chores, you know, you get somebody to help come once a week and clean and does and do the whole house or whatever.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm real organized.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: I watched, bro, I like my stuff all the same way.
• 12:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because I do, you know, my life.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: But for me, friendship, companionship, somebody that's going to get me healthy, somebody that I can't live without.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: You understand somebody that, yeah, so that's the thing, being with somebody that you can't live without and she died I died the next week
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's how in sync you want to be with somebody that actually care about you.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hey, baby, I know you all like to be bothered with a lot of people.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I know you all like to, but I have a friend to work at the movies and I know you like to go to the movie, but you don't like to go because you don't feel like you're enjoying something.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I got a little situation.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: We're going to go in the side there.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: We're going to have some popcorn watching movie and join us up.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: I asked him I do that for me one time.
• 13:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was everything.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: I have somebody, you know, hey, let's go out to dinner.
• 13:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: We can go on a side door, whatever you don't have to deal with, whatever you, because I'm kind of like a reakless, you know, I stay in a house.
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because sometimes it's like work when you go out.
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: People are going to speak, I'm going to, but it becomes, it becomes work, just going, you know, to dinner.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: But somebody set up some little situations for you, things that bring you happiness, or whatever efficient trip or something that you like to do.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's real friendship and that's happening.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Or even you enjoying something that she like.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I'm open to that because it's not just about me.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, it's about her too.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's important.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you talked a little bit about discipline.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I think you and I had this in common.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was adopted when I was three months old.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: My dad's 92 now.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you ask him how you doing, he's going to say, hey, I ain't never had it so good.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I said get it, why you ain't never had this so good man, I was a sharecroft of man, hell I goin' here.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just happy to do it, but he was a discipline man, he was an army guy.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then of course my mom's, you know, she been 35 last 35 years, black don't crack bays don't age.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get that out the way, but she's 82 years old.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I grew up in the old and family, so my structure is... I thought I was just a little 30-five.
• 14:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: It lists, she's not gonna sneak into the side door.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: You could be older than your mom.
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, there it is.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: But my mom ain't gonna sneak you through those sides door.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna let you know.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: She's like, yeah, you don't want to put your ass on that TV.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's why they own that witch.
• 14:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: You should just say no.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's you tell me all the time.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: But coming from such a such a, with having this discipline, how did Ricky grow up?
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, how did you grow up and what did this discipline come from?
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: My grandpa was military but he went military ish it was a simple discipline in structure Yeah, and he didn't play but he was
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: And Ron, I wouldn't scare him, but I had a healthy fear of him.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was more scared to disappoint him than anything.
• 15:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: He wouldn't have won it, take the belt out every time you do something, whatever.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You just knew not to do it, because you had respect for him.
• 15:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: And learning stuff from him and being on time, I've been doing the morning show.
• 15:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I've been doing morning radio over 25 years.
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: I have never used an alarm clock a day in my life.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, never, because if you go to bed with your job on your mind, you're going to whip Chris Browns before I'm in, and I would have been at show with that 5 a.m.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're going to be up in time to go see Chris Brown, right?
• 15:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Why can't you have the same respect and at Marissa for your job to actually pay the bills?
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, so I get up and I go to work, I do what I have to do, and I go to bed at night.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know what I'm saying?
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you go to bed at night and if they have the eight, that ain't nothing but trouble.
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you're going to bed.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: So that keep you out of trouble.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: Get your coffee, turn the news on, and you just, it's a lifestyle.
• 16:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, morning show is not already, it's a lifestyle.
• 16:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: You go to bed at night, and you get up in the morning, do your job.
• 16:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, when you are so structured, like bring it somebody into your ecosystem, will she have to kind of follow the rules or is there any touching things?
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think I'm bad, just don't, just don't interrupt what I got going on.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, it's a rush.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, don't, don't, don't interfere, don't interfere, don't interfere, don't interfere, don't interrupt.
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: anything that it can have a negative effect on what I do if I'm going to take care of you.
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: Help me help you.
• 16:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I'm talking about.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Help me help you.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I'm about to do.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, here's a melatonin.
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hey, help me help you.
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hey, hey, hey, here's a melatonin.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I already got the coffee made.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Could I drink my coffee out of the pot?
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I went back all the school.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: With the big coffee.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: I went by the perky later.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, with the coffee pop up in the little glass, and then turn up blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, do it.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: You got to sit in the morning.
• 17:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So just hit before you can.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, bro.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: You ain't own missing a whole point.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hallelujah.
• 17:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I turned the stove on and put it on.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, no, you don't.
• 17:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Bro, you ought off, but I'll stop talking to my Amazon for $2.
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: Go get your real coffee.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Put y'all in the head, y'all in the garden, he's curricks, and all this stuff.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Y'all in the head, my real coffee.
• 17:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Talk about a real, real, real, real, real.
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Willie, what is all, really?
• 17:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Willie, you ain't dead old, but that coffee tastes better than the stuff in these mods.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what you're.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: You go with the little glass hot and you eyeball my coffee.
• 17:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: I bought it.
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: You can smell the whole house smell like the waffle house.
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're called to get the morning.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: By that time I'm in my second second gospel song, if I'm doing the morning show from home and you're pulling that car, I got videos as real coffee.
• 17:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then you got to go and get your coffee from New Orleans, cafe, demand, coffee, and chicory in the can.
• 17:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: with the chickery hell, I don't know anything else sir if you don't drink coffee, I'm just letting you know I'll trust you like that you are never ever go back to anything once you had it
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: cafe, demand coffee with chickery with chickery, what the hell is chickery?
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know, I just said, I don't know.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's a chickery.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a chickery.
• 18:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I thought you put chickery in there like her.
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think they got mixed all in there.
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's already chickery.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: We have to Google it, but I don't know what chickery is.
• 18:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's something for my plant that it mixed with the coffee beans.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, so it's blessed.
• 18:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is what you said.
• 18:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's blended.
• 18:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you take that out and you put it in there.
• 18:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: You put your water in there.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: Then you put your filter in there.
• 18:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Put the top on there.
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Turn your stove on medium, put your card on the stove like they do on guns smoke and bananas
• 18:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna do all that.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, a lot of people in the middle of the night.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's best cover coffee you have had.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, you have to pay.
• 18:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: You never go back.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'd have actually this written.
• 18:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, hate to stop you, change the scenery and the energy.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But you ain't been obedient.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know how I know, because you ain't subscribed.
• 19:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: You ain't left no comment.
• 19:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: You ain't shared this with nobody.
• 19:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do it right now.
• 19:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now back to the show.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Cover coffee you have had.
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, you have to pay.
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You never go back.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'd have actually this written.
• 19:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I, I had never had no jobs and I got them, you know, radio.
• 19:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 19:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm gonna tell you the day that they called me and offered me the opportunity.
• 19:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I had done, I was doing video vlog and on YouTube because I came out of R&B career.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm like, you know, speaking and I'm doing these video vlogs, but it's starting to catch on.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's for YouTube, poppin' but I'm getting 300,000 hits everybody watch.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I ended up getting a gig with John Maxwell.
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: John Maxwell had, his team had me come out and I think I spoke for like two three minutes in the front of all these people and I didn't even charge him there.
• 19:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: That man was to reach them and up in here and gave me this envelope somebody from his team and you know I'm saying lose.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hello, went to their bathroom and seen it.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm looking could not believe it.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: No matter that they had gave me for two or three minutes.
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I saw a clean and tape was like y'all want to do something.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: I felt like I had robbed them people to be quite honest.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got a call from one of the girls that reached, and she said, Willie, I said, what, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you, they're going to, they're going to give you an offer.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You got it, and then somebody else, she said, don't tell nobody.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Somebody else called, I'm not supposed to say none, but we're so excited.
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we ended up doing it.
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it was just so much after words that became pressure to me.
• 20:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 20:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: At this particular time.
• 20:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm originally from St.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Louis.
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, I used to come to St.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Louis and do say it's back your back at Manning and Manning.
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's when he was coming to get him and everyone was trying to do it.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: That was my first manager.
• 20:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Eric Ron and say it gave me my story.
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Said to the entertainer.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, I did.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: I would drive eight hours in a and a foot escort to St.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Louis to make $400.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: to perform at mannings on Wednesday night says back y'all.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's the escort that for me.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's a place that's going to use a man right now in a five-speed escort.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know God 99 dollars a month were good credit.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on survive.
• 21:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like commercial with good credit.
• 21:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Good credit, $99 a month.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I get this radio job.
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I say you and you probably don't remember, but I said, man, you know, I'm looking for weirds to myself.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: What should I do in this opportunity?
• 21:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I never had no job.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: That lady and H.R.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: asked me how many days, you know, whatever, I said 40 days, 40 nights.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like Jesus, hell, I don't know, you know what to do.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know what to do.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm club promoted, I was used to.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you pulled me to the side I never forgot this.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: He said, man, you got a beautiful family.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: He said, man, don't let these people overwhelm you.
• 21:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't let these people pull on you like that.
• 21:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: When you get to your house, lead that phone in the house, man.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you teach people how to treat you.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't say yes to everything.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: You teach people how to treat you.
• 21:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: You talent it.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: You teach them how to treat you.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: They can't call you whenever they want to.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 22:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you show me how to set borders.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Boundaries.
• 22:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And boundaries, right?
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to bet you.
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that has helped so much.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I had to say no, we didn't say no and a curse.
• 22:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you said no is a, is a, is a sentence that doesn't require no
• 22:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's known.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: May not be the answer that you hoped for, but it's only the answer to your question.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Not the bill.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I love it.
• 22:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: I love it.
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, because when you're a radio person, now let everybody want something, right?
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: But you can't be everything to everybody.
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then you look around everybody happy.
• 22:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's up you.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: What about your happiness?
• 22:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: What about your day and home when you just want to sit on a relaxed and watch a football game with your phone blowing up because you got all of these obligations and then you upset when you come to work that Monday because you haven't had any rest.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now how are you going to serve guys, people?
• 23:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: If you haven't had any rest, that's true.
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And getting your again rest is not asking for anything.
• 23:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's something that you need to carve out for yourself.
• 23:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not that's true.
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 23:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now you take the summers off versus being on the road.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, take the summers off.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: talk a little bit about quality of life, because you can pretty much be in a comedy club every weekend if you want.
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, I wrote, I wrote some many jokes.
• 23:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was sitting on a beach, sitting by a pool somewhere and flooring.
• 23:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 23:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: And just relaxing and doing nothing all day, other than in radio.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: Get off radio and you got the whole day.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: Like I slept for three years in a row.
• 23:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Three summers in a row, I slept.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Every day when I got off the air, I was so tired.
• 23:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 23:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know what I'm saying?
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know what I made me do that?
• 23:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was sitting in that line of airport.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm on Facebook.
• 23:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm sitting everybody at the classroom union.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: Everybody out of waiting.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Everybody at the beach are on the beach.
• 23:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you sitting in that line of airport in the middle of July about the freeze inside an airport headed to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
• 24:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm talking about to perform.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Only the lead tells Oklahoma and go to another city or fly back to Atlanta that night.
• 24:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, in order to go back home, only to do it all over again the next week.
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: So where's your happiness?
• 24:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you got money in the bank, but you don't have it.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, you can cash.
• 24:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 24:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you don't have time to go to them all in the spending.
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's right.
• 24:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: So where's your happiness?
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Where's your peace?
• 24:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: And now your voice going, you tired, and you got to get up.
• 24:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: four o'clock in the morning to do radio only to look for the doing it didn't follow when we can in a row while your agents get in commission
• 24:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: They're not on the road with you.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: They're at home with their families.
• 24:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: Your manager at home with his or her family.
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you on the road got to walk through a greasy, comedy club kitchen to get to the stage.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And sit and wait for the second show with your sitting and a dressing room for three and a half hours waiting to go on stage again with the other comedian that you performed with food from the comedy club to say, man, you all over the country and leaving the comedy club at two o'clock in the morning.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right, it's all from me.
• 25:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: to middle of August, no shows, right?
• 25:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Give it a break, breathe, let your brain rest.
• 25:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now when you go back on stage in September, now you kill them and you so funny because you have the opportunity to get rest and gather your thoughts and sort out your problems, your issues, cry a little bit, laugh a little bit, swim a little bit, ride a bicycle a little bit, be with your kids a little bit, be with your grandkids a little bit and swim some more.
• 25:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: and do some more swimming, go get a massage, relax the whole summer you've been performing like I've been running like that since 97 and this is going on going into my this has been my sixth summer that I just really gotten risk now I'll do shows doing the week I don't do coming to close on weekend I perform doing the week because what I get is one show seven
• 26:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: for seven o'clock show doing the week mean that they really come to land so I'm not getting that 10 30 crowd that already been to the club smoking and drinking and all the drug dealers in the strippers out of 10 30 show.
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's why I'm laughing and looking at their phones while you on stage trying to make them land.
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then now you backstage question in yourself and I'm still funny well yes you still funny you just got a
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got a tight draw on it and I do church engagements.
• 26:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: Come on and different events that you know PNG type of events yeah PNG type events.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: So this this is my big question.
• 26:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you set these boundaries for yourself.
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: You set up these borders for yourself
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: and you now have this beautiful runway and you have this beautiful time to do what you have to do.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I often see you with your grandson.
• 26:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your grandson, I see him with you and you're pouring into him.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm seeing a new joy that you have on the inside and the responsibility taking care of your grandson.
• 27:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: What got you this ultimate love for children?
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Was it because you're dead?
• 27:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I know you're dead died younger.
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, but you just always had this extreme love like for children, like, where did that come from?
• 27:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, um, and I talk about that a lot in my book.
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, uh, science show.
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, um, I know what it feels like not to have a dad.
• 27:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: My grandfather was wonderful.
• 27:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: My uncles were wonderful.
• 27:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Mm-hmm.
• 27:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's nothing like having your own dad.
• 27:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, when you're on a little leap up by the team, you see all the other dads standing behind the fence or in the bleachers or whatever, you know, you feel some kind of way about it, you know, and I didn't like the way that felt all the time.
• 27:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, even with my grandson, my grandson don't have a dad.
• 27:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hang on, get emotional.
• 28:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know what I'm saying?
• 28:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: He had a mother that's living, and he don't have a dad.
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: But he have everything.
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: But even with having everything with me, it's still not his own mom and dad.
• 28:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: He was created by two human beings.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I feel bad for him.
• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, his birthday is tomorrow.
• 28:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: And we're gonna have something, you know, for taking them to the great wolf, or whatever.
• 28:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I'm still gonna be a nice intimate ice cream and cake and love and affection, hugs and kisses.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: Happy birthday to you young man, running that ball, total net rock out of that backfield, trying to make something out of the set, making straight A's and B's.
• 28:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: Let us song, but you stay in the choir.
• 28:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Trying to be the best daddy can be, trying to figure out what this life
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: going to bring, you know, to him.
• 28:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: And he's, he's about to be eight tomorrow.
• 28:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 28:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: I wouldn't look around and see him.
• 29:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: The kids got their moms and dads coming up to just go in there.
• 29:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Me, me, my mom and Ms.
• 29:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Pat.
• 29:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: up in the stand that his football game just trying to be whatever we can to him and just love on him or whatever because he gonna have questions when he get older and we don't regret the guy that don't have a negative effect on his life and he's starting acting out because of it.
• 29:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's a real, that's a real thing a lot of people go through that.
• 29:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I found out when I was seven because everybody was like everybody's making fun and like I don't mess with the doctor kids And I know I was adopted you know the hook and be hard.
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and you know I went in there and I asked my mom and like mom Like these kids across street said I'm adopted is it true?
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: And as the first time I seen her show this drop, it was almost like the biggest fear that she had like a drop.
• 29:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: And she said, yeah, you all adopt it.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And but the one thing that changed my life forever is when my dad walked in, and he bent down because he had not been the same size since I was seven.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I ain't never grew no more.
• 30:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he looked me in the eyes, and he said, you're chosen.
• 30:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 30:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, you see these other parents and stuff out here?
• 30:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hell when they got pregnant because you know he's from Mississippi when they got pregnant hell, it was a surprise to them, but we saved our money for you.
• 30:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: We did everything that we could, hell, I stopped drinking and going to the ball and everything and we chose you.
• 30:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: So don't let these down fools make you believe that you anything less than what you did, boy, you chose and I chose you and I'm going to choose you to the day I died.
• 30:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's gonna be my conversation with him if it ever gets to that point in the end.
• 30:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then ask, I would ever, but he's so secure and sunken down into who he is and who we are to him.
• 30:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: And has fit in, like he's, you know.
• 30:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: It just works out perfectly him, but if the question comes, I'm prepared to have that conversation with him.
• 30:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: And he's gonna be great because of it.
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: more love you more podcast after this baby yeah I know it'd be a 22 years since I put some music on I don't I'm like I ain't but to want to do
• 31:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: But listen my new music is streaming right now wherever you get you know your music It's real fun and exciting for me because guess what that made me I get the opportunity to maybe come to a city near you if you fall in love with these songs I've been playing on the show for the last nine months So do me a favor make sure that you stream clockwork make sure you stream Say room for me believe what turn in point
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: All of them songs is available right now.
• 31:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Just go over to the iTunes, click Willy Mojony and just listen to them songs.
• 31:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, if you run into some pretty Willy songs and you not marry
• 31:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: that's when you and God, but if you marry us them too, because we own them too.
• 31:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not back to our show, flat out.
• 31:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, I seen one time when I used to watch a reality show, then boys must have did something, and you took the whole door off the hinge.
• 32:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, our craggin' movie.
• 32:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they did something.
• 32:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Me took the whole door off the hinge.
• 32:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: They didn't.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, so, do they look at him and be like, you got a good?
• 32:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: He don't get in trouble like it is, he's a great kid.
• 32:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's a great kid, Greg and Malik was bad, man.
• 32:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: They always got in trouble.
• 32:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: They always had to sleep in the garage.
• 32:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: I remember you put them boys in the garage.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: The garage is too, it's too doors in the garage, right?
• 32:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: One to go outside and one to go in the house.
• 32:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: The garage is that middle ground, but you all your way out.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: or you can come back in.
• 32:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can come back in the house.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: I put them in the garage with three outfits, line up some can and go as I can't open them.
• 32:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like away, three outfits are only as I'm bottled water, because going to the bathroom using the bathroom in the house is a privilege.
• 32:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's a privilege, you're not entitled to that.
• 32:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's not yours.
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right, I need good grades.
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need you to cut the grass.
• 33:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: We, you got chores around the house.
• 33:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: All this stuff, you know, I taught my boy, my son, 23, our Craig is now 26, he turned 26, August the 2nd, they never say, hey, dad, our hey, can I get some under his head?
• 33:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: Dad, hey, do you have some work for me to do?
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need $150 to pay for this, that and whatever.
• 33:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Like my son, I come on to work in the yard all day, he's in grad school.
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: And all the members say he never asked for money.
• 33:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, you know, if you have a medication or something, that's different.
• 33:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: But you know, he'll come on to work hard.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: He had a good girlfriend.
• 33:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Him and the girl was out there working in the yard.
• 33:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Raking leaves and all that stuff where they can have money, put it in a pocket to go back to Montgomery to go to homecoming.
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: I said, you got your real and right down.
• 33:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Come on, man.
• 33:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: She got the whole of the band.
• 33:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Why are you raking leaves in the bag?
• 34:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: Come on, man.
• 34:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got a real one, boy.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, she know where the bag is.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: She won't help you.
• 34:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on, man.
• 34:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
• 34:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Keep.
• 34:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: She's a keeper, yes she is, you know, you spoke about the book.
• 34:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got a chance to read through it and I got to Chapter 10 on the books.
• 34:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Make sure you put the J-Pak there, man.
• 34:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Side show.
• 34:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I got to Chapter 10.
• 34:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you know, I care so much like I don't even know why I care about you as a man so much like you haven't met them.
• 34:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm a bunch.
• 34:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, like a bomb.
• 34:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like your older brother.
• 34:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
• 34:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: You came to the radio station asking for advice, looking for advice, love, affection.
• 34:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: I treated you like, like we had yourself.
• 34:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then we're no, we're no, we're no reason not to be nice to you.
• 34:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not.
• 34:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: threaten or intimidate like some or won't give information.
• 34:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I even turned you on to some people.
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, some people, when I see that you were serious, yeah.
• 34:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: I would have, and you took every little thing that I told you and look like around.
• 35:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 35:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: All of this is you.
• 35:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm thinking that you're stabbing.
• 35:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got treated when I came here in your whole operation.
• 35:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: We talked about this.
• 35:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 35:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: We talked about all of this.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: When you do them two things, I know you see what you got to do with them two fingers.
• 35:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Ricky hit me with these two fingers.
• 35:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got that from Steve.
• 35:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's go like this.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's when you do like, yes, sir.
• 35:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, God.
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now, man, you sit there and you listen and you take in all of the information.
• 35:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: You always have questions and I always have time.
• 35:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: You do.
• 35:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: I make time.
• 35:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't hear what I got to do.
• 35:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: If you have a question, I know you handed something you series about what you're doing.
• 35:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: I will make time.
• 35:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: Listen, dude.
• 35:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because I might end up working for you.
• 35:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: I know why I'm in, but I don't know where I'm going.
• 35:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: Come on.
• 35:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: You understand?
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: People, I have happy people that I use to open for end up
• 35:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 35:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you have to be mindful of how as to how you treat people.
• 35:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: You don't know when you're a career going going.
• 35:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: I might be one of your producers or co-hosts somewhere I'll work in on your show.
• 36:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 36:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when I got to chapter 10 in the inside show, that's when you began to speak about Brandon.
• 36:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you began to, it was a paragraph, and at the top of the paragraph, it read it, that they say grief kind of comes in ways, but you kind of talked about, I don't ever know if this grief would ever go away when you lose a son.
• 36:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I don't think it will.
• 36:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with.
• 36:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm almost ahead of the two years.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Maybe a little more a year and a half.
• 36:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: I am so traumatized by my son that I am not the same person.
• 36:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: You understand what I'm saying?
• 36:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm a different person.
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Then make you a whole different person.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: It, like, if you think my tolerance level in my boundary was really a damn real because I just can't tolerate food business because I'm hurting and I'm suffering right now.
• 37:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: I have turned down certain shows and certain money that I'm just not going to be able to make because I don't, I can't deal with what comes with it.
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: My mental health comes first.
• 37:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm in therapy twice a week.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's good.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: There if it's coming to the house and we sit in a sitting in the
• 37:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: face each other and we just go at it and um I'm maintaining um I have to block it out of my head you know I'd remember time and still have to cry before you go on stage and perform that's what I was going to ask so you're commissioning and call to get on stage make people laugh why dying and hurting so bad on the inside
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to, you got to blow your nose and go on stage.
• 37:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to go on your drifts room and cry and blow your nose and make sure you're nothing in your nose and clean yourself up and take your butt on that stage.
• 38:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Ask me why?
• 38:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Why?
• 38:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because they kids die too.
• 38:11
  [UNKNOWN]: Why?
• 38:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: They mama's dying.
• 38:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: They daddy's dying.
• 38:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: They on dialysis.
• 38:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: they're going to chemotherapy and it's not all about you until much is given, much is required.
• 38:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: And if that's the cross I have to bear to bring some happiness to somebody else, and God looks at that, God under that, God under the fact that I'm gonna put myself second and right here and perform, because at that point it ain't about the money.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, let me go out here and do a good show for this lady.
• 38:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you walk out on stage and you see people with her in a way.
• 38:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now you're son and die, but they with her in a way.
• 38:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: The idea with oxygen tanks and stuff next to their chair laughing out of coming to show they hear the CD Ray Davis and Benji Brown and Martin Lawrence last thing they're probably to do before they lead his earth.
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: If you got to do it, it's your job, suck it up, man up.
• 39:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to go back down and read, see it through.
• 39:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to pull out all them poems.
• 39:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to pull out and victors and everything.
• 39:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: You got to use them.
• 39:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now it's the time to use the poem.
• 39:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: We had to memorize them, the players, right?
• 39:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: You had to learn the big, the right?
• 39:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now it's the time to use it.
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 39:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: You understand what I'm saying?
• 39:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, sure.
• 39:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had to challenge God.
• 39:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had to show God that I was faithful.
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Cause I thought about Joe.
• 39:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: So, my son died on the Sunday that Wednesday.
• 39:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was like, take us, it's the world.
• 40:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's the take it's much time as you need.
• 40:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: Where were you, where were you when you got this call?
• 40:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was in Dallas, Texas in my apartment alone.
• 40:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I got a phone call thinking it was my son.
• 40:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because we hadn't taught them a long time because I was mad at them.
• 40:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's birthday was coming up.
• 40:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: My goal was to talk to him before it's 33rd birthday.
• 40:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I talked to my mom, I called my mom that wanted to say, have you taught the brand and she's something to call them now?
• 40:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: My mom called him and she talked to him Sunday morning.
• 40:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: And she said, OK, she called me back.
• 40:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: She said, okay, I just talked to him and we're gonna go to church and then after we get in the church, I'm a flyback to Birmingham Tomorrow and so me and him we gonna sit on and talk to see
• 40:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: So then I got a phone call from Brandon, I'm just thinking him calling, thinking that he's calling, just to confirm with him and Mama was talking about.
• 41:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I said hello, and it was his girlfriend on the phone said that he had OD, and he is on the way to the hospital.
• 41:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: I started getting up, getting dressed, grabbed my backpack, caught my assistant, booked the flight.
• 41:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: And all my way out the door, I got another phone call from my son's sister.
• 41:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Taylor, she said that she was crying.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: I heard her in a mom crying in the back right now.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: I already knew and she said he died.
• 41:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: From Mom taught to him that morning, because I had called the initiator conversation that we were supposed to have a conversation.
• 41:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I told God, if I could make it from the front door to the elevated, I told God, if you can just get me from this front door to the elevator, I can make it from here, because that was the hardest part for me.
• 41:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: With the door to the backpack on that whole hallway was spinning.
• 41:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I wanted to jump up in the air as high as I could and land on my neck so I could die.
• 42:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's how bad I feel.
• 42:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can't describe the right and feeling on the inside of the bottom of my stomach and it's still coming.
• 42:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's never going away.
• 42:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I told God that I talk about it in the book that Wednesday morning I woke up.
• 42:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, I'm getting back on the radio today.
• 42:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: because somebody needs a Sunday.
• 42:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's back on the radio on Wednesday.
• 42:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had to get back on the radio because I don't want to lay in the bed and think about all of this.
• 42:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need some release.
• 42:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need to go somebody in Chicago's son guy.
• 42:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: Somebody else already at the funeral home.
• 42:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because they son and was murdered.
• 42:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: They listened to Rick and smile the morning show praise, break every morning.
• 42:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got to go get on the radio to encourage other people that's suffering.
• 42:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got off the air, got my sling clothes together to take to the funeral home.
• 42:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you didn't get any, you ain't said nobody.
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, I took him myself because I'm very detailed.
• 43:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need to make sure everything is downright because I didn't want his mother to be disappointed.
• 43:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: See, it's not about me.
• 43:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's what I want him to have.
• 43:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's what I want him to wear.
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: He is how I want it done.
• 43:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I want him to got my, I want that.
• 43:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: I learned and got my marching orders.
• 43:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: And drove back to Birmingham.
• 43:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because my son's mother ain't never, and stepfather never really buried nobody before.
• 43:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: They don't know how to deal with all this.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm a leader of my family.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had to do the funeral when uncles in my granddad.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm usually in charge, like the normal take care of this and to make sure everything is downright.
• 43:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had marching orders to make it easy for her because she didn't want gay birth to him and carried him for nine months.
• 43:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: You understand?
• 43:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm his dad, yeah.
• 43:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: But they suffering.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: They can't handle that.
• 43:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: I try to be respectful and do with it when about no smiley the last name in the brand.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is a woman that lost a son.
• 44:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I made a stop by the salvation army to serve.
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: All my way to the funeral home, I needed to serve the homeless, because now I said, you're on your way to the funeral home, you got to close, and you make a pit stop at the salvation on me to go serve the homeless people.
• 44:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: Go serve the homeless, because I wanted to show God even in the midst of all of my trials and tribulations, I'm still willing to serve.
• 44:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: The homeless people was coming through the land to get a hot dog with some sour crowd on it.
• 44:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: A handful of chips, slice a cake, some punch, or some water.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: They homeless.
• 44:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Sorry about your son, Rick.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, my son died too.
• 44:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hey, Rick, sorry about your son.
• 44:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: They don't have, they don't have no way to live.
• 44:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: They hung this, it was dark that day, it was windy that day, it was raining.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: I almost had a red going to the funeral home because 18 will just keep going past me and that miss coming from the garage and I couldn't see and I got my son closed in the back seat.
• 45:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then I get to the funeral home and they outside of Sheen at the gas station of
• 45:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: of it all, because that Saturday at the day on the funeral, at least it was sunny.
• 45:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: But then Wednesday, I had his clothes, I had to go back there and approve.
• 45:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can't get in details and go to the morgue.
• 45:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: Who's with you throughout it?
• 45:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: OK.
• 45:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: My granddad did it.
• 45:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: My granddad was standing there in the morgue when my dad bought a guy there.
• 45:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: My granddad did it.
• 45:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: He told me about it.
• 45:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I sat there and I was living with my grandparents.
• 45:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: I sat there and watched my granddad go through all of that stuff and protect this family and figure out how to get through that situation at six years old.
• 46:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: I watched it.
• 46:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'll never forget it.
• 46:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I just stole a page out of his book and I just got down to business.
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: I agree next week, but I need to make sure my son's mother, my son's stepdad, were a good people.
• 46:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: My mother?
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: And the rest of my kid is, and Mrs. Neppu's who was raised with Brandon, was protected.
• 46:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I had to lead and I had to cry a year later.
• 46:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: I dealt with mine.
• 46:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Mine came a year later.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: See, a year later your son died all over again.
• 46:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: You just don't have a cascadence in flowers and condolences.
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's when he hit me a year later.
• 46:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: because I had to protect them and get everybody in counseling and get everybody in therapy and set up for therapists to come in the house and do family counseling spirit gain.
• 47:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: All of that stuff.
• 47:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it was just real some some details and some things that I had to do.
• 47:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I had my days work with crying all this stuff.
• 47:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: But
• 47:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, a year later, that was like, I had to, I had to move the floor temporarily, because I didn't, I couldn't be in the house.
• 47:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: So that was, that was rough in the steel roof.
• 47:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I just can't imagine with
• 47:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm a man, I can't imagine where all these women going through, who sons get killed.
• 47:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: My son was a murderer.
• 47:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't have to go to court.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: God, it's beams of sunlight coming through all of these dark, this big, dark cloud.
• 47:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: God giving you all of these beams of sunlight.
• 47:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you don't have to go to court.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you don't have to face your child's murderer.
• 47:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: right well you do you you can go to a beach and get on a boat and go fishing and and and and and get I all of these people it's a lot of people who kids get killed can't even bury them just a lady in California hurt both of her sons were killed I got too boys to
• 48:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: Mom and her sons were killed, and then she didn't have money to bury him.
• 48:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: A week out of the brand of that, I had to send money to LA to bury two mochias.
• 48:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I didn't get into the details, it just needed to be done, and we just did it.
• 48:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I never met the lady, never talked to the lady, lady, probably don't even know that I did it.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Wow.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: We sent that money to the funeral on the make sure them boys buried, because I felt the pain.
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: I just couldn't imagine it had it been both of my son, and it could have been.
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: But God just had so much grace and mercy that he spared my other son.
• 48:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: So he got a woman that lost both of her son and you have the resources.
• 48:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you need to do the right thing.
• 48:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it happened to do it, but I did it because it was the right thing to do.
• 48:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I never talked about it until now.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So Rick, you have to go through all of this and of course you're going through therapy and counseling but do you think you actually really just kind of take took a break to process all this stuff?
• 49:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh yeah, yeah, that's what therapy done.
• 49:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: That therapy, I talk about it in the book.
• 49:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm just encouraging people man to go and get the help that they need because you can break your knee right now.
• 49:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: You can run out of that back, but it's not my tell your knee up.
• 49:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: And you can go home and sit there and open up your body and pray all you want to.
• 49:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: But until you go to a doctor and get that knee x-ray and get a brace on that knee and get whatever knee replacement you have to get.
• 49:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: in order for the need to heal.
• 49:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: In the brain, there's a month or just like the need.
• 49:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 49:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you have to get a therapist.
• 49:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because God created therapists to help you process your pain, so you won't go crazy.
• 49:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: Or you won't fall into depression and stop eating and each door had having to heal.
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: Some people don't survive, they love one's death.
• 50:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I got to figure out how I'm going to survive, how am I going to live?
• 50:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: How would do I have to do?
• 50:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: I need to go get my man, right?
• 50:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I can work.
• 50:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: Because bills have to be paid.
• 50:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: And other people have to be here because that's my calling.
• 50:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is what God called me to do.
• 50:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 50:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: And...
• 50:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: Am I making any sense?
• 50:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, I was real.
• 50:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I do understand it.
• 50:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just see that many times, especially when it comes to me and me.
• 50:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I say me and me and me.
• 50:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I just see sometimes that they carry the low that others should also be able to help with as well.
• 50:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, like I say in my dad, like they see me and he mean, he'd be working and working.
• 50:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, because I say in my work 16 hours a day.
• 50:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then I turned 40 and the doctor telling me,
• 50:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you got to get some rest you got to do that, but it was like this was all that I seen and then that's how the show came up I'm like I got to love me a little bit more.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got to love me and say hey man It's much as I want to take care everybody else Everybody got to be responsible for themselves Yeah, and then and then with the the insult to the injury Yeah, you know, there's a lot of it a lot of a lot of time a lot of people stab me in the bullet hole
• 51:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: See, you think that is one thing, but what about the insult to the injury?
• 51:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: The people that do you wrong and that's insensitive to your grief?
• 51:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, as you know,
• 51:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen that in January or whatever time of the world.
• 51:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, man, my brother's grieving.
• 51:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when comics sit down and they decide to just be his flamboyant and transparent or whatever they feel, I think oftentimes, we don't necessarily understand what people are going through.
• 51:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And these are like your colleagues, people that you've seen before that you worked with before.
• 51:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: How did you process debt without retaliation?
• 51:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: I ignore that because that is always been that, you know, and saying everybody's just not going like you, you know, the boy when your friend brothers jumped on the bandwagon and did it, that hurt me, that hurt me, people that you knew.
• 52:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: Your fraternity brothers, yeah, people that I didn't know that was members of the same organization that I'm a part of and made t-shirts and memes, pitching on website and cat this and cat that and all that stuff.
• 52:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, everything, that's a whole,
• 52:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and the conversation that I'm open with and I have not my chapter brothers, my of course my chapter brothers, uh, uh, my sorrow to have the brothers, why he brothers and the chapter down my part of Alpha 5, but it was a lot of, um,
• 52:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: That broken, that, that, that, that, that if nothing else on this earth hurt me was that because that's what I put, most of my resources into was was was this organization.
• 53:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: And, um,
• 53:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't just that.
• 53:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had been dealing with it for a while.
• 53:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: I just tolerated it because I thought that it was the coach and not that my son has passed away.
• 53:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm not the same person.
• 53:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's not okay with me.
• 53:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: That coach is not okay with me.
• 53:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I just deal with it at a local level.
• 53:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Whenever I asked for, I asked to do it.
• 53:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I respect them.
• 53:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I respect our founders.
• 53:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: As if what the organization was founded on, I'm still a member.
• 53:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I love what it's stand for.
• 53:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I'm not going to participate in certain things.
• 53:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can become cat or whatever.
• 53:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: And there's a lot of brothers that stand so to decide with me on that issue.
• 53:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: I would ever, that ain't what this organization is about.
• 53:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, I didn't, I didn't make fun of Bill Cosby.
• 54:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: I never made a, made fun of Jesse Jackson.
• 54:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: It just, something's when it comes to certain bros, James Kant.
• 54:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: And the thing about it is, it made me feel real good, being crumped didn't feel that way.
• 54:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 54:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Shack didn't feel that way.
• 54:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: James Clyburn didn't feel that way.
• 54:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: Our national president.
• 54:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Ricky Lewis didn't feel that way.
• 54:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 54:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: So long as I had real friends, you know, Brian White, dark nasty, you know, brothers, you know, that we know people who you went to college with, I'm mutual friends.
• 54:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: As long as they didn't turn it back on me, it's fine.
• 54:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't have to be liked by everybody and it's okay.
• 54:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: So do you think that's what changed the most with you?
• 54:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I think you always kind of fear this in terms of what people thought about you.
• 54:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: But do you think you should try to hold the love?
• 54:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I used to care to a certain extent, but now I'm going through that.
• 54:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 54:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Loosen the sun and being dragged on the internet for two months on the one-year anniversary of your son's death.
• 55:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, if I can get through that, man, I can get through anything.
• 55:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, I didn't start grieving until the one year.
• 55:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then I got the pill with,
• 55:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: at the same time.
• 55:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: At the same time.
• 55:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Jeez.
• 55:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: The end had brothers texting me, making they look with the brothers saying, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
• 55:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: It just, uh, I still wanted the greatest organization ever or let me just say just some people in it that just, uh, that's how to get down.
• 55:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't get down that way.
• 55:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 55:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Rick, you know, as we land this plan, I got two pictures that I want to show you.
• 55:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I want you to think about that version of who Ricky smiley is.
• 55:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Boy, I remember that shirt, that shirt was, that shirt used to go holler.
• 56:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: He don't go holler night off.
• 56:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's your mean?
• 56:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's down, collar two.
• 56:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't do that, cause you were at the same shirt on back when that, that was in 2000.
• 56:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know what I'm just saying.
• 56:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I was coming to you, that's what the collar's worth.
• 56:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: It wouldn't know, collar's like that.
• 56:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: But hell, I ain't got no neck.
• 56:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: If it did, that I'd just be here in the show.
• 56:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: And they're looking at a little beard in that, uh, that, that's the yard, and must that's from family feud.
• 56:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: What was who was Ricky there young and just doing five shows in one day ripping and running all over the country, but he is in the dressing room
• 56:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Brandon, Brandon, in the dressing room, right?
• 56:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: And uh, yeah.
• 56:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Nineteen 79, color stealer, you got your lukewarm.
• 56:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I had no choice.
• 56:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I had, I had, uh, yeah, the box chair.
• 56:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: No.
• 56:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had just bought an, uh, a four expedition, Eddie Bauer version.
• 56:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: What?
• 56:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: With the little brown at the bottom?
• 56:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: Eddie Bauer.
• 56:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll see you over here.
• 56:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Will that stop?
• 56:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: What?
• 57:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: Will it end the interview?
• 57:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: You couldn't, you was rich.
• 57:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: You was rich.
• 57:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Eddie Bauer?
• 57:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: In the end, I'm done talking.
• 57:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right there, you had a little brand new black one off the showroom flow.
• 57:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: With the brown at the bottom.
• 57:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: Like, cool lady, that's how my friend cool lady had that on me.
• 57:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Trying to tell you all over the country, well, you thought you was something.
• 57:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: And a cracker, you could drive from the pin, 100 fitted all to drive me to Seattle and back in one night.
• 57:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he ain't going to go to sleep.
• 57:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, all you need is some coffee.
• 57:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's all you need.
• 57:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, this version of Ricky.
• 57:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah, they, they, they, they, they.
• 57:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: This bread.
• 57:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Ooh, boy.
• 57:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Look at the look and the eyes and look at the look and the eyes and the oven, you can all, you can see it on the picture.
• 57:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 57:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: Look at that.
• 57:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Innocence just, and I look it down.
• 57:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: Look at that.
• 57:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Even though I have a smile on my face, I look at the sand and just look deep and, and you know what, was really deep.
• 58:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: I see people with that look on their face.
• 58:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Like, I'm looking on that picture.
• 58:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: I know that they have lost their kids without them even telling me.
• 58:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can see it from a mile away.
• 58:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's like something you recognize.
• 58:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're like, you can recognize a new, when you see one.
• 58:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can recognize a man or woman that have lost their kid about a way they look at me and write the way I look at them.
• 58:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: They don't like it, show them.
• 58:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm gonna put up the thing.
• 58:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can just look at their eyes until.
• 58:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's like, it's like zombies, it's like you walking down this dark road and somebody coming off the dark road and they're looking at you and they be like, they kind of give you a nod and it's like they went through what you went through, they had that look and they are.
• 58:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm telling you man, this interview is great, but the book
• 58:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: You might want to have some food because you're not going to put it down.
• 58:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're not going to have it in audio for people that have ADHD like me that don't like to sit down and read.
• 59:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I have it in audio that like listed to the audio version in the car is deep.
• 59:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's inspirational.
• 59:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're going to be able to anybody suffered a loss.
• 59:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: should definitely read this book.
• 59:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: And let me clear something up.
• 59:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm not here to down, or organization that I'm a part of, or whatever, but what happened happened.
• 59:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm here to talk about what happened.
• 59:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 59:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I tie all of that into the one year anniversary of my son's death.
• 59:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 59:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And don't get mad at me because you didn't want to get me something to talk about and wait, you did.
• 59:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 59:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: No way, y'all carry on.
• 59:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, listen, I mean at the end of the day,
• 59:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad you got an opportunity to get this book out of you.
• 59:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: To be able to get all of these feelings out.
• 59:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Cause I'm beyond this with you.
• 59:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: When Brandon passed and I just saying you keep going and going and going, I just pray.
• 1:00:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was just like, God, I mean, just give him a time to be a outlet, connecting with great people.
• 1:00:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: So he can, you know, continue to move the way he needs to move.
• 1:00:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: But because ultimately, helpers is going to help.
• 1:00:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: And takers are going to keep on taking until you decide to set up a true border and about.
• 1:00:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Man, people like yourself, people been good with me.
• 1:00:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Alana Airport, walking through the airport, got me built up every time I had to do a show, it seemed like I would go through Alana Airport from the TSA agents to the ticket agents to people just, some people walked by and just heard me and heard me tight, and we didn't even say a word.
• 1:00:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: And we just, and then we just walk away from him and believe me sitting there with tears like they just taking some of that grief off of me.
• 1:00:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: This had so much love, just hugged you.
• 1:00:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:00:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's a guy that never said God bless you and they walk off that airport, man.
• 1:00:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: Just hugged that love.
• 1:00:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: It would always be a special place for the rest of my life.
• 1:00:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: People that prayed for you and pulled you to the side and prayed for you and prayed the genuine, the loving.
• 1:01:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: and how sincere people was, and my child, the brothers, I'm from five, that got there to my son's funeral and parked cars and directed and guided, and did all this stuff.
• 1:01:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: I will be forever grateful.
• 1:01:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: I get emotional, like when I start talking about Elf and Five, how they showed up and how they showed up for them.
• 1:01:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: And every time I'm trying to do anything, how they just show up.
• 1:01:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: They're gonna show up.
• 1:01:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: I would never ever forget that.
• 1:01:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's why I feel the way I feel about them because the way they treat me during some of my worst times.
• 1:01:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:01:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate this opportunity.
• 1:01:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, listen.
• 1:01:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we're going to show for you.
• 1:01:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, let me do this real quick.
• 1:01:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: So to anybody's watching right now, here's the cast 22.
• 1:01:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I do understand that there is a lot of people on the other side of this camera probably saying thank you.
• 1:01:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for being honest, Ricky, with your vulnerable, you know, being vulnerable with the situation that you've been in.
• 1:01:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you know when I look at Ricky Smiley and I see everything that's on this plate and all the people that he had the opportunity to connect with on radio and television, et cetera, et cetera.
• 1:02:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think what I heard today is here's a person who understands the column and the responsibility.
• 1:02:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: that's on his life.
• 1:02:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And on the other side of this camera, sometimes with the popularity of social media, people are able to make a situation so much worse, especially when you already have a wound.
• 1:02:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so my challenge to you, and I know it's going to sound weird, especially if you grew up like me, where you think everybody who goes to therapy actually crazy, right?
• 1:02:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's how I used to be when I was coming up.
• 1:02:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know that boy going to see the strength, right?
• 1:02:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: on full transparency I've been in there before the last five years and I know that many of us especially Christians we believe that when we take things to the altar we know that we gonna take it to the altar and we gonna leave it there.
• 1:02:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah and your spirit but what I've learned is that you gotta have more tools on your toolbox so when that thing come back up you'll have some tools to get through it.
• 1:03:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to challenge you in this moment that if there is an opportunity for you to go out and get some extra help before it's too late.
• 1:03:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: do it.
• 1:03:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:03:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's nothing embarrassing about going out doing what you have to do to make sure that you take care of what God gave you.
• 1:03:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's your mind.
• 1:03:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right?
• 1:03:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Think on these things.
• 1:03:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be your mind.
• 1:03:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: And of course, I always challenge you to know that the biggest room in the world is to run for improvement.
• 1:03:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: And therapy is a beautiful way to improve.
• 1:03:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do me a favor.
• 1:03:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you have audible, if you have Barnes and Noble, if you online, make sure that you pick up this book.
• 1:03:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I want to tell you, like, transparency is always key.
• 1:03:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: I believe that what comes from the heart is going to reach the heart, because the word heart is H, E, A, R, T. If you drop the H and you drop the T, you have the word E. And I believe this book is going to speak to the ear in your heart.
• 1:04:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because there's something on the inside of you that needs a little help in a little healing.
• 1:04:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: And through this, I just believe by faith that you'll get better.
• 1:04:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you'll learn how to love you.
• 1:04:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: More.
• 1:04:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you Ricky for hanging out with me.
• 1:04:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Subscribe to this channel.
• 1:04:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I love you.
• 1:04:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my pleasure.
• 1:04:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on, ankles out, man.
• 1:04:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: God, I got some lotion on.
• 1:04:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on, ankle ministry.
• 1:04:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I was made me cry three times, man.
• 1:04:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, Lord, you know I got to keep your real with you, but what I want you to do is I want to make sure that you share this You comment you click like engage with us listen everybody wants to be celebrating not just tolerated I'm just tolerated.
• 1:04:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Celebrate us.
• 1:04:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: I like you sharing and commenting can't do it without you So you got to do it's clicking do that for me till you next week.
• 1:04:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let out love you more Love you more love you more love you