Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Like Mother, Like Daughter

Transcript

Like Mother, Like Daughter · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two, one of your celebrity mentors,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Kelly ben Simone, And today I am so excited because
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: my gorgeous daughter, gorgeous and smart daughter Teddy ben Simone
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: is joining me on the pod. Hi Teddy, Hi mom,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Hi angel my princess girl. Look at you. Okay, let's
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: get started, ted So this is Iety Part two. We're
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: talking all things love. Okay, do you like to talk
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: about love? Teddy?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I love love. I'm a lover.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Are you a lover?
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm like a romantic person. I love love.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I love that you look very beautiful.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: That's set up for the audience. What kind of mother
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: daughter dynamic? What would you say? We have?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: We are mother daughter, we are you and see are
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: more like friends? Oh? We are like mother daughter?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And what does that mean? Exactly?
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Like you're my mom and I'm your daughter, and we
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: are a mother daughter. You gave birth to me.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: I did I exist now.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: It was the easiest birth. It was the easiest. I
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: had a tricky sandwich and so good. We're like. I
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to touch you. It was like do not.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: I don't remember, Kenny, but I love turkey sandwiches. They're delicious.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: How would you describe our relationship. I mean, I think
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I definitely see you as my daughter mom.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: We have a mother daughter relationship, Like you're my mom.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Obviously I love you. Obviously, I think you're fabulous, but
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: obviously you're my mom.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm going to be annoyed with you sometimes, I'm
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: going to think you're cringe. I'm going to think you're embarrassing.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I'm going to think you're annoying. I'm also going to
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: think you're so bad. I'm gonna be like, oh my gosh,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: I'm annoyed.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you think I'm cringe.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: That makes me so happy. It makes me so unhappy, like,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: oh my god, my daughter called me cringe. To me,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: that's like music to my ears. Because it's like, I
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: don't I want you to I want you to learn
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: from my mistakes. I don't want you to just think
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: that my mistakes are okay. What do you think about mistakes, Teddy?
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I think mistakes are great. Your mistakes mm hmmm, I
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: mean they're not mine.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, like I feel.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: As though I'm sad that you had to experience those
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: mistakes because I think that some mistakes that you've experienced
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: or made were ones that had consequences that were not
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: the most fabulous or pleasant.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: You know, obviously, like when you make a mistake or
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: you make a choice, you can't always foresee what the
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: future is going to be. That's why we make.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Choices and make decisions, and then you know, you make
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: me the one once the outcome happens. But I'm because
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: I've seen the consequences of your mistakes so far, I
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: know to not make those same choices.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a single parent, as you know, I'm your single mom.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: As I know I'm yes, I present to you as
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: the both the mother and you have it. You have
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: a dad, but as I present to you as the
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: mother and the father, so I take care of you.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I'm your provider, I'm your I'm your I'm your rock.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm you know, we love, we love your dad,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: and we understand my mother very very good.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: At and my dad is my dad like I have
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: a father. You're not like a.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Father, yes, but you have me as your parent. So
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: let's talk about like some mistakes because I'm actually really
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: curious and I think this is a talk about them.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Why not talk about them with on a podcast that's
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: really helped me to be a better version of myself.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: So I love that what kind of mistakes have I made?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Don't make me cry?
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I think you've made mistakes in your romantic partners before.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think that your biggest mistake is you don't.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: I think something you can still learn from is that
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: you need to when someone tells you this is wrong.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I think this is a bad choice. I think this
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: is a bad person. Whatever, it's be wise to listen
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: to them, because obviously I think that it's a big
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's a big thing to say to someone
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: because in everyday life, when someone tells you that's a
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: bad choice, you'd be like, what do you know? You're
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: not mean, you're not living my life, you don't know
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: my experience, you don't know me.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: No one knows you better than yourself. But I think
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: that listening to friends and family.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Or you know, hey, this person is not a great
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: choice for you. Knowing that people who love and care
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: about you are telling you to lead this person, maybe
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: that should.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Be something that you should listen to more in life.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Like if people say don't do it, you shouldn't be like,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: what do you know?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: You're not me. You could be like, why do you
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: say that.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not like, oh my god, let me be a
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: martyr because I need to be a martyr. I'm not
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's martyrdom though. I think it's just
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: you know, making a choice. For example, you know, you
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: you you had a romantic partner when I was younger,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: friends and family told you maybe this is not a
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: good choice, you know, and instead of necessarily saying, you
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to listen to what you have
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: to say, why do you say this to you, were
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: just like I'm gonna continue doing this instead. I mean,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I wasn't saying anything because I was younger, But I
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: think that, like, if you had listened to those people
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: at that time, you wouldn't have made so many mistakes
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: later when I say that you've made mistakes, and what
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I mean is that, you know, I think that you have.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: I think in romantic situations, I think that you either
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: give someone way too many chances or you give them
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: like no leash at all, and you don't, like you
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: like the tiniest thing. You're like, oh my god, I
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: hate that I'm writing them off, and it's like whoa
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, he used.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: The wrong fork at dinner. I mean actually pretty bad.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: But whatever.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: No, that's a different thing, because I think i'd be like,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: there are your manners, but no, but not everyone knows
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: about you know, table manners. And then not using the
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: right fork at dinner. But it's a tiny fork, solid fork.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: No, no, But what you were saying about about picking
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and choosing people and giving them too many chances, I
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: think too that one of the things that I was
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: doing is that although I was saying and presenting myself
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: saying that I was looking for someone to share my
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: life with and to when I you know, I mean
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: from you know, from like from the minute I got divorced,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I want a better
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: life for my girls. I want a better life for
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: my girls. And that's always what I wanted. And I
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: was so concerned that you guys would not have a
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: better life than what my parents gave to me that
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't see men for actually for who they were.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I was so laser focused on you guys and providing
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: for you that, you know, if they were the nicest guy,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't see them. If they were the worst guy,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't see them like I literally did not see
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: who they were. I mean, people would make mistakes or
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: they would do things, and I was like, you know,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I just wasn't I wasn't present, I wasn't available. I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: was So you know how they talk about like, you know,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: dating unavailable guys, Well, these all the guys that I
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: was going on dates with or I was in relationships
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: were with a highly unavailable woman. And that was me.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but I think that you also know.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I know you know, my mom, I'm aware. I think
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: that you.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Have this idea of what your perfect person is in
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: your brain and you.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: See yourself as like you're like, Okay, this is me
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: and this is what I want.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: And I'm fifty seven, fifty seven, and I feel like
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: I've lived this long, and I've waited this long. I
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: still should have exactly what I want. I should be
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: able to have my cake, I should be able to
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: eat it, and I should be able to share with everybody.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And in reality, that's not the way life works.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: That's not where the way romance works, and that's not
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: the way finding a partner works.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I'm a firm believer.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: In like you, I always sew like my friends like
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: and I'm even tell you this all the time, where
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: it's like you have to think of your perfect person
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: and your brain and say, like you're ten things or
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: twenty things that you want in your perfect person, whether
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: it's physical traits, like intellectual traits, emotional traits, mental traits,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: all these things. Put them on on a piece of
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: paper and then like cut them in and like cut
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: a third of them away and like get take off
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: like a third of them, be like okay. And that's
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: more of a reality of like what people are. Because
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: if you're expecting to have your perfect person, then you
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: need to understand that you would eat to be.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Saying that you are a perfect person. Or I always
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: say to you, think.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Of your ideal man and then think of his ideal woman,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: and are you that person?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that when you say that.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: So if you're talking about my dear deal man, and
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I think, I love you so much and I really
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: appreciate you saying those beautiful things. What what do you
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: think are three to five things that you think that
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I kind of what kind of three to five characteristics
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: that you think that I needed a man.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: I think you need someone who is patient. I think
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you need someone who is understanding and someone who is intelligent.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I love that is that three understanding of what that's
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: three understanding of what my emotions, understanding of the world,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: like understanding understanding.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Of like you and your experiences and like Like an
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: understanding person doesn't mean that they understand a certain thing,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: but they're willing to They're not the kind of someone
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: who's understanding is not going to be like you say, X,
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: y Z thing happens.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: They're not going to react immediately.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: They're going to think about all these other things and
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: all these other factors, and then they're going to make
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: a judgment after. It's just someone who's not really reactive,
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: and they are very much so the kind of person
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: who looked at the bigger picture and looks at it
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: and takes everything else and puts it together to make
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: their decision.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because I, you know, one of
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: the So there's two things that I that happened when
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I when I go on a date. The first thing
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: is that they asked me about Scary Island. Not like
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: what happened. So I'm like, Okay, obviously.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: Why are you dating men that know about what scary Island?
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: I couldn't even tell you what happened on Scary Island.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I couldn't tell you what happened.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I actually like it because it means that they have
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: a genuine interest in me. So I think that's kind of.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Ish.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And the second thing they asked me is oh my god, like,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: you're so busy on social and you're in you know,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: you're like, what do you do for a living?
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Where are you finding these people?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: It's just that's just how people. That's how men in
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: their fifties, that's how they respond. That's what they's maybe
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: go from a man in his sixties.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: This is bizarre, mom. I'm not kidding. If a man
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: like that would be shocking to me. If I went
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: on a date with someone and they were like, how
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: was this big fight that you had with people?
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I would be like, what do you what do you talking?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Can you remember that I'm in my fifties so it's
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: like we're the same age. So they're kind of trying
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: to ask me things that are really like relatable. That's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: what they're trying to do.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I don't think that would be these are that would
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: be I think it's the red flag if they're like, hey,
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: how was going on scary Island you. I would be like, what,
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: like I've that would be shocking to me. Mom, I'm
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: in my twenties. I've never had a guy on any
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: date ever asked me what it was like to have.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: A parent be on a Bravo show I love you well.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: They don't even ask me about, like, are you close
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: to your parents?
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, and they're like, okay, great, because one
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: part of you on a TV show is so like that,
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: if that even part of you even still exists in
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: you right now, it's so small and insignificant. It's stupid
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: to me that that would even be a question that
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: someone would ask, And they need to be gone.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Teddy Beautiful.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, that's bizarre.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: So what do you think about the men I've dated recently?
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I like them, the ones that I've met, I like.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: So you think I'm making better choices, absolutely, even the
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: ones that cheat, cheat is going cheat.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: You're okay with cheaters.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Who is okay with cheaters?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: No one, no one.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not okay with cheaters.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Like I feel as though when you cheat in the
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: legitimate cheating way, that is hideous and that is the
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: worst thing you could Like, I know for a fact
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: that if I got cheated on, I would be I
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: would be so upset. If I was truly in love
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: with that person, I'd be so upset with them number one,
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: because I'd be like, you ruin this forever, I'll never
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: be able to ever trust you again and will never
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: be able to together.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: It's done.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Like I know that myself to be transparent with you.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons why I do have such
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: a guard up when it comes to dating, is because
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I have been cheated on so much, and you know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I put you guys first, and I'm a you know
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: outside you know, in my business world, I wore my
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: business hat. But when it's family time, as you know,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: it's all family, all you guys.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: And plus the phone, the phone is a family member.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: That's my other sister, that's your stepsister. Yeah, she's evil.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Always on the phone texting is because I didn't want
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: to be calling. I didn't want to be talking on
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the phone with you guys, And that's why I would
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: text all the time. It's because I didn't want you
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: guys to think that I wasn't listening to you.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: But you weren't. You were texting on the phone.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Always listening. I listened to everything you think. You think
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I don't listen to what you're saying. I listened to
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: absolutely wem.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I will ask you.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: You'll be on the phone or whatever, and I'll say, Mom,
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: what I just say? You say one second? And I'll say,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: I never said one second?
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: My favorite one you guys, Mom'm getting a tattoo. I'm like,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I see, see, why are you getta gettato? Why is
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: that I'm getting tattooed?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: See?
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Always will do the craziest thing whenever you're on the
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: phone ignoring us. She will be like, okay, let's say,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: what's the craziest thing I could say to upset her?
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Right? I'm like, she doesn't even care tattoo.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: She's like, I'm going to get tattoo on my forehead
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: of you know something inside?
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: How do you how do you like?
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Tell how do you feel about? How do you feel
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: when I introduce you two different two men? How do
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: you feel? How does it make you feel?
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like I should I never really care. I'm
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: like trying to be nice and friendly, and I was like, hey,
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: how are you?
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: But I also it's never I.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Think it is because I'm you know, I'm twenty Yeah,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: I just turned twenty five.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I'm twenty five now weird.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: But like, how did you know when you were younger?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: How did you know that it was someone that I
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: liked what I met them? But how did you know
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: that I was them? I mean, you met a lot
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: of men from like I mean there I know a
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: lot of males that are like you know a lot
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: of I mean, I work with a lot of gay men.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: I was aware of they were gay. Mom, I wasn't
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: thinking that broadly. Your hairdresser who I was, clearly he
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: was clearly gay. I wasn't like, are you getting my mom?
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Like I was aware. I knew, you explained to me,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: and I knew.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Do you miss? Is there anyone that I dated that
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: you miss?
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Can I say the name?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Well, you can't say their name, but you can describe them.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: They were someone you went to college with Columbia and they.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Are my favorite always?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, he's so.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: Because also Grandpa loved him so much, and Grandma loved
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: him so much, and everyone in the family loves him.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: What do you like about him?
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: He is I think my biggest thing with him was
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: just like he's such a family oriented guy in the
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: way where it's like he loves he loves you, but
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: he also loves our family and he loves me like see,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: he loves me, he loves like he knows and love
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: or loved Grandpa and Grandma, and he knows like your
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: siblings and your siblings all like him. And I found
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: him to be like super fun and like lighthearted, but
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: also I don't know, I just feel like he really
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: fit in. And I thought he was a really good
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: match for you. And I like how I liked the
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: person you were.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: When you were with him.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: I obviously love you always, but I think that he
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: brought out a really good side of you.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So when I when I broke up with him or
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: when we stopped dating, is.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: So mad at you? I was so mad. I was like, Mom, how.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Did you find out? How did I tell you?
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: You told me? I was like, where is he? We
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: should go?
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: Because he didn't live here, didn't he didn't leave all
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: the time, he like lived here, and then he moved
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: back because he was done working whatever he's doing here.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: He moved back, and I was like, oh, when are
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: we seeing him again or whatever, and you were like, uh,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: I guess I don't know. Whenever you want. I was like,
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: what do you mean, what do you mean whenever I want?
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Like that?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: Why is it in my court? And you were like,
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: we're all not seeing hither anyone. I was like why,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: and he told me and I was like, that's a
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: stupid answer.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: He's such a great guy. He's such a great guy.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: And you know, again, I am looking for consistency too.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: So it's like, just because he's a great guy doesn't
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: mean that he's consistent.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Well, not everyone's consistent in life. Are you consistent?
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty consistent, pretty clousten. I have like I have
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: one I have like one path that I follow and
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: then sometimes I go off of it a little bit.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: But so that's not being consistent. You literally we're like,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I'm consistent. I do one thing all the time, but
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: sometimes I don't do that thing.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I think that what I really liked about him as well,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: and what I and what you liked is that, yes,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: he's super family oriented, which is something that's super important
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: to you and I and to your sisters see it,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: and to my parents, and I know the most will
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: say that was like that is something that lacks with
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of men that I that I have dated,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: is that they just aren't family oriented. They just are
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: feeling gorgeous and think that you know, they're going to
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: be you know, loving, you know what they think that
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: they're they're attaching themselves to some kind of like you know,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Disney movie and we're real life, and it's just very
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: you know sometimes it's really it makes me very sad
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: because I can see that they are not taking the
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: relationship seriously and that they want to just be like
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: with Kelly Bensma, which is really well.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I hear that. I'm not gonna lie.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: I don't want to burst your bub and I don't
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: want to expose you every single guy you've dated, besides
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: obviously because Dad is different, every since guy you've dated,
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: the reason why you broke up with them or things
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I ended was because you said they weren't interested in
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: dating me. They were interested in dating tell you Bensmom
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: every time. And I know what it's like to feel
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: like you've been used like people will. I've had people
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: use me, try to use me for my parents my
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: whole life. I literally had to end up end the
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: friendship two months ago because I found out.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: That per person was trying to use me or.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Was whatever, like that was upsetting and disappointing and people
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: are going to do that, but I can't. And I
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: was actually talking to somebody o the day and I
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: was saying, she was like, oh, why are you so
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: because when people first meet me, I'm pretty closed off.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: I always said, like I never I don't like anyone.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: That's what I always say. And she was saying, she's like,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: you can't be like that. You need to be more
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: open people. And I explained to her. I was like, well,
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: I just immediately seen that someone's going to try to
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: use me for my parents or whatever.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: And she was And then when I explained that to her,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: and she's like, actually, that makes sense because like my parents,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: no one's trying to use me for my parents, and
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: like that's just the tea. Obviously.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: There are some friends that I have and people that
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I know, a lot of people that I know that
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: I never was scared about that because I've known them
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: for so long. Most people from New York, I'm like,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: you guys don't care, so it doesn't really matter. My
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: friend from high school, my friends from like my childhood friends,
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: my friends from life, some of my friends from college,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: like whatever.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: But I think that it's a negative.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: It's a bad way to live life when you immediately
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: assume that everybody wants to use you or everyone wants
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: things from you. Some people will want to use you
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: and some people will want things from you. That's just
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: the way life is. Not everyone's a good person, and
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: I don't think you should assume everybody's a good person,
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: but you shouldn't always assume that they're a bad person.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And it's not like.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: It's either you say that they're you always say they're
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: either using you or wanted to take Kelly Bensimon, not
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: you know Kelly or whatever Kiki. And they are competitive
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: with you, like they want to be you, which I think.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Is it's true. It's very very strange and competitive, Like
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I don't mean like competitive like they want to, you know,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: run down the street and embrace me. Competitive like to
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: see like how many how many women they've dated, or
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: how many women look at them at a restaurant or
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: it's very really really off putting.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Do you find yourself on dates talking about men being
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: attracted to a lot and a lot of men find
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: you attractive and like being you know, sexy, never okay,
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: because then I would say.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So when it comes to dating, what kind of questions
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: do you think that I should be asking them?
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Like you should be asking if you could go to
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: dinner with anybody dead? Who?
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Who do you want to go to breakfast but that's dead?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Who do you want to go to lunch with that's dead?
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: And who do you want to go to dinner with
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: that's dead? And who do you want to get a
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: drink with after dinner that is dead?
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Who is dead? Sorry I said that people that are
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: lying that's wrong. Well you can't.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: I like I would be like, oh my gosh, I
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: want to go to I want to have breakfast with
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: like Napoleon, right, maybe I'll have breakfast Julius Caesar.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure. Maybe better breakfast time, Teddy Roosevelt's
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: getting lunchtime. For sure.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I whenever I go on a date with anyone, I
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: find out so much about them and not like you know,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: you know, when I when I started the podcast, they
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: were like, okay, ask about like how many wives they've had,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: why they broke up? And I'm just like, you know
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: what that'll be an organic conversation that they'll so I
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: just asked them questions about themselves. Every single guy that
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I've ever gone into a date with my first day
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: has said the exact same thing.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: But do you always.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Only person that's ever asked me about myself? That what
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: didn't feel like an interview? And I'm thinking to myself, Okay, well,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: these guys are you, but like what about Like, yeah,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that they're feeling gorgeous. That's really nice for us.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Well, I think that are you going on dates with
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: these people? Are you dating to marry or are you
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: damed just find a partner.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So when when you guys were younger, I would just
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: go on dates to go on date.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: When you were younger, you were going on dates and
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: then you want to find a husband at some point.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I know this in my mind. When you guys were younger,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I would I would say to myself things like when
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I was doing my headstands that like the things that
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I was grateful for are obviously the wellness of my parents,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: and the wellness of you guys, and the wellness of
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: the relationship of my future relationship with my husband, like that,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: those are the things that I would always say I
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: would always be grateful for when I was doing head stands,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: always constant. I clearly did not date anyone that I
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: would that was marriage material, That's for sure.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Did people who are.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Marriage material, you just sometimes would leave them. I couldn't
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: name like five of them who I think would be
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: great husbands.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I was a big real I love that five men.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: See and I have ranked them. We've gone through the list.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: This was number one.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Our number ones are different, but we're we have pretty
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: similar lists overall. Right, But I think that you now,
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: I feel like you're still talking about like your future husband.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: I am a pretty traditional person. I was like, I
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: want to get married and I want to have children,
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: and obviously don't want to get divorced. But if divorce
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: is the thing, whatever you know, you move, you shake,
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: you move forward, you try to do you pay it.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Why is it that you have that person? No but serious?
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Why is it that you feel like that about divorce
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of kids had such you know they
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: have they have so much emotional baggage associated with their divorce.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like do you feel like the divorce
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: that your dad and I have?
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: What know what you guys like.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Because I was so young already, I have no memory
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: of my parents being together, so I was never like, well, well.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Got my parents were together, because I was like, my
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: parents are never together. Hello. I was just like, Okay,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: my mom's here, my dad lives here, and that's the vibe,
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: and that was it.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think that, but I think that you
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: are still looking for like a husband, even though you're
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: not going to have children with a man anymore.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: You're not you can't have kids anymore. Sorry, you can't.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, just like, like, obviously, romance is a thing, but
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: I think that if you don't share children with someone,
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: you don't need to marry with them.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I think for now you could. Just what you're looking
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: for is who do I like? Who is this person.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Who's my life partner? Obviously, if I hate the guy,
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: that's a problem. If she hates the guy, that's a problem.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: Like we've seen before. If he doesn't like someone, maybe
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: we should listen to her. But I think that bottom line,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: you need to look for a life partner and someone
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: that you can like, live and grow oled with. Like,
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: think about when you are no longer this you know,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: Diba that you see as yourself now and when you, you know,
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: are old.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: And you can't do anything, you can't you maybe you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: are like we'll be in a wheelchair.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know that's for my future.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I just like I think that, like you need to
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: think about like a long term and that in his way,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: like I I think that you need to get out
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: of New York because clearly you know everyone in New York.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: It's a very small town. I know everyone in New York.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: I'm twenty five. I'm like, I don't want to know
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: any of you anymore. Maybe look somewhere else.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: But I feel like you want to be with that
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: person all the time. I don't know why. I feel
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: like you want to be like in the same I can't.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. I can't do a long distance
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: like I mean, especially now.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: That I'm no problem.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: But Teddy, I'm like living in my own apartment for
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: my for the first time in how many years? Almost
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: twenty five years, twenty six years, Okay, and I miss
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you every day, by the way, I miss you.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: No Miami, by the way, No Miami, You're not getting
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: a guy from Miami. You're not getting a guy from
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: you can date a guy from Actually, no, you can't
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: date a politician. You'd be the worst politician's wife.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Why why would.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I have you chat and also the politician.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: Honestly, if you're dating a politician or you're marrying a politician,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: they need to be the star. You clearly want to
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: be the star. You need to be the star.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: You cannot be like You're.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Like, I want to be the star of or relationship.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: You think I'm the peacock.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: You are the peacock. You think you're not the peacock.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Delusions of grandeur. Mom, you are the peacock. I love you.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: So Basically, I need to look for people that aren't
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: stealing my life.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: No, why why do you think everyone's taking something from you?
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Because they do.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: No, you need to say someone.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: I want someone to to support me and be there
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: for me and be a cheerleader.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, how about with my business.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Here's a business card for your for your friend at
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: the Dick's game. I'm like, what are you doing? Like
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: did you just give that person business card? Have you
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: ever seen me? Hold on?
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Hold on?
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen me solicit for real estate in public? Ever?
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: What does that even know? And that's like a weird
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: way to put things. By the way, thank you, Okay.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: But that reference what you just made, I get it.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: That person was not for us. We know.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Next no soliciting a solictening in public.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: My firm believer mom, that you need to stop, like
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: you need to obviously you've had these many experiences with
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: all these different guys or whatever.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Many experiences different that was like hideous you've did' that.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Was horrible like that?
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Likel No, you've dated some people.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, I have dated and people.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: But I think that you do.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: This thing where you take the baggage from the first
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: this relationship and you bring it.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Into the next one like I do a very new person.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: This person could.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Be like the best guy on the planet, and you like,
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: assuming that he's the worst is not going to be great.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't like the whole idea of trauma bonding.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: So when a guy says to me, my my eggs white,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: how horrible my life?
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: But that's not trauma bonding. They're trying to open up
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: to you. Men can be emotional, men can cry.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: If men have have hardships and they're like, hey, I
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: had this really tough time.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I don't want a trauma bond. I don't want them
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: to be.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Like trauma bonding is when you are doing going through
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: something hard together and then you truma you bond.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: But I feel like, but I'm using trauma bond like
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: they have a trauma. This how they how it's used
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: in a relationship is like one person has a trauma,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: the other person has a trauma, and so they try
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: to like bond.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: But that's the way of connecting with people.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Like there's so many people like that have like so
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: many of my friends or like I've only by the way,
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I've only dated guys that have divorced parents.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Why why why? Because I don't know if they come
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: to me, I don't know. No, I don't know, no
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: idea why. But I've literally any guy I like dated
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: or like really like because they're.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: No I think that I don't know why, but I
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: think that also like to bond over a shared experience,
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Like Okay, you know what it's like to have divorced parents.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Do you know what it's like to raise your to
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: be divorced?
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: You know what it's like to have kids with a
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: different whatever, and like deal with that situation, Like those
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: are it's not trauma bonding and it's not with them
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: like try to manipulate you.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: It's a way to connect. Oh, we we have this
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: shared experience.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: So what if I met a guy who was living
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: in another state and.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: I moved where? What? Move? Where? Would state?
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: Move?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Move where? I don't know. I'm just wondering, like how
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: you would feel?
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Like, are you moving to like Massachusetts? That's not happening.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just wondering, like how you could you.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: See yourself living in any other state? By the way,
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like you do not belong anywhere but New York.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: I love California. I love the lifestyle of California. I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: love it. I've never lived there. I've never lived there.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: I think New York is a hard place to like.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: New York City is like a hard place to grow old.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Sorry to bring it up again. I don't know why bring
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: it out.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: That's a main me.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: What kind of guy do you think I should be with?
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: I think you need someone who I think Are you
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: saying what I think you want or what I think
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: you need?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: What do you think I need? First of all, what
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: do you think I need? And then I want to
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: hear what you think I want.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I think you need someone who is maybe ten years
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: your senior, ten years, maybe sixty seven even maybe even
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: like like literally or even seventy.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, no joke, I'm sorry.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I think you need someone who's older because I feel
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: like you obviously were married to dad who was way.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Older than you at the time. We're so older than
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: he was now, but like it was like he was
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: double your age.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: At the time, and you got engaged or were first
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: seeing each other now so, and then after the divorce
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: you're like, I'm only gonna with the guys who are
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: younger than me. But you need to realize, like you were,
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: you were doing guys who were younger than you, ten
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: years younger than five years anger than you, and you
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: were seeing these guys who were not developed mentally like anyway,
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: like when like I think that the older say, well,
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: I mean you did. I mean at some point you
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: were dating a guy who was in his twenties before
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: his frontal lobe was developed.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Men's front hold lobes development when they're twenty eight.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Very nice human, Oh my god, beautiful human.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Well not, that's not the one I'm talking about.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I've talked about that though. He's a beautiful human.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: I'm talking by the other one pre him, but there
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: are so many different Like I think that you really
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: should be with someone who's older than you, at least
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: ten years, because they are older and they have lived
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: life and they have experiences and they know that, like
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: they knew what they want.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Let's just whold on, let's just clarify it, because I
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: don't want that because when I was you know, I was,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I was divorced when I was in my like, so
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: when I was dating someone in there late twenties, that
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: didn't seem like so.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, it was like thirty.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Seven twenties there, Like it sounds like you're like.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: My reference was thirty seven to twenty seven.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: You try to make me into like Caroline Sansbury, Like.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Now I'm not even sure who that is, but thirty
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: seven to twenty seven that was the thing, and twenty
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: seven is one.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Year before twenty eight. That's what I was referencing.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: By the way, everybody, okay, but yeah, I don't hear it.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: I think that you need someone who's older. I think
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: you need someone who is.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Athletic, like likes to like, likes to ski, likes to
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: do things that you like to.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Do, but I think you need someone who is the
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: exact opposite of you.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: They are interested in.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: They're interested in science and maths, or they work in
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: or they worked in.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Maybe someone who's retired, you.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: Know, someone who doesn't work anymore and they just want
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: to like have a slow vibe or they have they're
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: not working anymore, but they're still actively doing things. I
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: think you need someone who's philanthropic. I think what you
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: actually need is someone who's a little bit more than
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: what you are in every single thing, Like someone who's
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: a little bit smarter than you, someone who's a little
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: bit more film topic than anymore, someone who's a little
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: bit more a family person, someone who's like almost better
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: than you what every single thing that you pride yourself
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: as being good at or whatever. Because I feel like
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: that's the only way you'll actually respect that person is
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: if there's when you can actually look up to and
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: learn from. Because it feels like whenever you've had someone
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: who's not as much as you are in any certain
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: kind of way, you are like.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, how do you not know they're so
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: not whatever? Do you know what I mean?
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe someone someone that is a little bit better than
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: not like who's.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: Better than you, but like you know, can kind of
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: one up you, like a one up basically.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: I think that that's the way, like the way that
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: you think. I don't really sometimes I understand your brain,
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: but I think that that's what you would need.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: And I think maybe someone who has grandkids.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know, but I feel like the one that
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: you respect someone is because someone if they are so
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: you even it's better than you, which is a weird way.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: But I don't know why you're like that, but I
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: think maybe something who eyes like they have they have
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: kids that are older where it's like they're older than me,
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: like kids in their thirties and they have children.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I ask when on my first on the first dates,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: like I ask these questions to you know, the guys
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to dates with, because I do want to
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: learn from them. I do want to I do want
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: them to teach me new things and to teach me
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: how to be better and teach me, you know, just
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: teach me new things. And I it's and I I
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: feel like sometimes it's like I'm always the one that's
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: kind of nurturing them or like that's where like I
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: fall onto that trap where but I.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Think you like to nurture, you are like a mother.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: I want to be I want someone to I genuinely tenny.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I want obviously the first thing. I just want to
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: be loved like hands, like really genuinely loved, like not
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: how not, like you know, fake love, like real love.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Then I want to be protected. I want someone to
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: protect me. I want someone to protect me. I want
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: someone I want to feel like they have my back.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: And I don't feel like a lot of men have
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: my back. I feel like the men that I've dated
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: in the past are always looking to the side to
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: see what I can bring to them or what's around
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: the corner for them. And I'm being honest, okay, and
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: it really hurts. I mean I'm you know, that's hurtful.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: That's horrible.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I make a lot of fun about it, but it
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: really hurts, and it really hurts my feelings when like,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: for example, like I'll never forget like when I was
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: in Scary Island and I was filming Scary Island and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I was just like this, these people are this is
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: this is this is bad news. This is not gonna
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: be this is not going to farewell. And so after
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: I left, I literally broke up with the guy that
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I was dating, who was such a nice person. And
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I broke up with him because I was just like,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: this is not going to be good for you.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Did I meet that guy?
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Was he cooking things?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I think that that guy was not meant I mean loved.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: He was so nice.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if he was like great for me
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: or not. I broke up with him because I was like,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I need to protect myself and I need to protect him,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to do that. I want to
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: protect a man. I want them to protect me. I
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: want them to be like, you know, whatever is happening,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: don't worry about it, kid, I've got this.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: But I feel like you've met guys who are like that.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: Oh you you dated guys who are like that, who
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: are willing to protect you all these things. I think
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: that if you want to.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Be good to see them like that. Maybe we want to.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Be loved, mom, Everyone wants to be loved. I want
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: to be loved.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I love love love.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: I loved you love people. Okay, loving is being loving people.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: Sharing your love, showing people how much you love them
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: is one of the most like It literally is like
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: an adrenaline rush when you like, are you know, are
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: are you? You're in the moment of, you know, showing
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: one of your love languages to somebody. It's like when
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: you feel like you're giving somebody else love. It's such
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: a it's such an amazing feeling to love somebody romantically
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: or platonically and to share that love with them.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: It's one of the best feelings.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: All right, what do you think my love languages?
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: I think it love languages gift giving I do.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: I love to give gifts, not because.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: But it's not always about a big price. I think
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: it's also like, hey, I thought about.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: I just love to do something for someone. Most people
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: when they gift give gifts, they buy things. When I
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: give a gift, I actually think about it, think about
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: that person. And you know, like even the other day
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: watching you for your birthday and just seeing how excited
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: you got. You're so excited.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: That was the worth of they gift though, that was
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: you don't think that's a gift. No, oh mom, Wow,
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: we know when.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: You get those kind of gifts or when I see
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: you so happy, that makes me really really happy.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I know, I could talk because you're like get the
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: shoes things, get that. And I was like, ooh, but
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: I think that you are a gift giver. But I
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: also think you like to receive gifts. You do not.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: You're not a big physical touch person.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Actually that's why you are a big touch You're so touchy.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: You're like, so I think that I'm not a poser person.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I was just thinking to myself.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: I was like, maybe me, uh, you're definitely a gift
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: giving on both sides. And you do like you don't
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: like words of reformation. I don't think because anytime a
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: guy has been like.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Hey you're this or this, You're like, wow, he's a liar.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, okay, he's a liar.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: I guess no, that's because Grandpa used to tell me
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: that actions speak louder than words. Don't listen to what
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: people I.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Say big words reformation person. I feel like, if you
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: feel something about someone, you should tell them, like I like,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: I will always.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I write my friend's notes, I write my if I
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: really like somebody.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I also incredibly like poetic in every sense of the word,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: and so you're a different kind of human. But for me,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I mean just because of my industry and my business.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I've just heard so many I've heard so many things,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: and I just don't see the follow through of it.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: I think that I think the words of reformation is
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: a nice thing. I think that you are a physical
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: touch person.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I love notes. When someone writes me a beautiful note.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: That's words of affirmation.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Mom, No, I know, but that's different when someone actually
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: writes me a note that to me is just like
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: so magical.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: Whether it's a coffee or a car, it's a gift.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Whether it's a note or out of your mouth, it's
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: so it's words.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, May maybe I should look at that differently then.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a big words affirmation person. I tell
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: people who I feel. I like to dedicate.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: Poems to people. I'm one of those.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're also a creative, beautiful mind.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: What do you think should I get married again? What
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: are your thoughts?
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: I don't think you need to get married again. I
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: think that you like wanted to have this big wedding
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: because you're like a neighborhood.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: No good to get married again.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I think if you want to get married again, you can.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Be single for the rest of my life.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: But that is not what that means.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: What is that marriage is like a legally binding contract
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: if you want to get married because you share property
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: together and all these.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Things at that point. But I think that because you've
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: already done the marriage thing and you've been divorced, you
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: don't need to look to get married again.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: You can just look to have a life partner like
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: you should be looking. Stop looking for that big wedding
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: event and start looking for the person that you want
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: to be with for circles of your life.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: So looking for your husband and look for your partner.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: So, you know, training for this mini triathlon, and I
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: went out to train with my friend today and he
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: was talking about he just got divorced, and he was
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: talking about how his ex wife has a lot of
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: money and he did very well, very educated, and how
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: the dynamic between them was always separate. And you know,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: it was interesting because as much as I needed to
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: make sure that you know, prenup was signed for specific reasons.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: You know, if I marry someone, I want to be
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: in a relationship together. I don't want to be like
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: you on me four dollars and twenty cents, who's going
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: to pay for I don't want to be in a
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: relationship like that. I was married to your dad. I
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: literally I you know, I paid for a lot of
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: things with you for your dad, a lot, but I
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: never mentioned it. I'm just saying in general, I have
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: paid for a lot of things. I don't have a
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: problem with paying for things, but I don't like that
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: kind of nitpicky twenty five cents, who's going to get
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: the coffee kind of thing.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: You don't like a cheap person.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not a cheap person, and I don't want to
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: be with a cheap person.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: But also I think it's a bit like when people
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: say that but like, oh, they're like women who don't
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: want a cheap guy are like gold diggers or whatever.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: I'm the kind of person I don't like cheap people.
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: Even in my friendships. I'm like, I'm that kind of person.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: I like, I'll guess this coffee domat it doesn't matter
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: whatever who cares, because like I think it's all about
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: it in friendships, it all evens out. I think that
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: obviously women want to be rude and all these things,
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: but I think that you can try to. I also
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: just think it's it is sometimes when women do not
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: offer at all or when, because you're at a certain
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: age whatever, it can come off entitled like I think
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: that there is obviously a like if. Honestly, if you're
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: with a true gentleman, he's not gonna let you pay regardless,
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: but do not offer, I think is sometimes very rude.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: We have a couple more things to talk about. One
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: thing I want to ask you is that you remember
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: me talking to you about the prenup with you with me?
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Do you remember me talking to you about it?
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Yes? What did I say, I'm getting a prenup but
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I need a prenup? And I said you need a prenup?
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: And see was like, you need a prenup?
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: What did you? What do you guys think of me
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: ending the engagement? What did you guys? Were you guys afraid?
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Were you guys excited? What were you what.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: Were your I mean, I wasn't doing a party. I
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: was obviously concern for your well being. But it wasn't
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: like a surprise because we all knew.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Were you proud of me?
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: I was proud of you.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: I thought I was a little I was like, girl,
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: you could you could have done this like six months ago?
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: You could have also said no, you should have never started.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: You should never start a relationship where you were single
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: and then you get you get engaged. You guys were
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: not together on that trip.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: See and I were already living by the way about
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: that for thettily situation, because you we were like you
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: loft us whatever, we're in the handpins you were in
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: like Geneva to Neva.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: By the way of Wisconsin. I love the Midwest, love Rockford,
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Love Garrett's popcorn from Chicago, Illinois, you know.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Like those ease and popcorn. Let's talk about love.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: The cheese popcorn in particular, not the caramel one.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: But I think that you were scared of the people
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: are going to be out of you, even though literally
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: a Thanksgiving me were like, no one came out of you.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: If you say no.
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: I literally told my aunt, I said, I said, don't
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: book your hotel room.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I wonder I was wondering why he did it at
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: that time. Afterwards, I'm like, why did he do it
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: like that? Like why didn't he do it like with my.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: You know how I feel about that whole thing. I
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: thought it was bizarre and I thought it was it
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: felt like he was trying to rush it.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, I guess not. I guess I know that
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: the next time, I do want to get married. I
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: do want to have a relationship, a real relationship. I
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: do want a solidary.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: The big white wedding is not happening. I think after
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: a certain age, I.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Want a beautiful I want a massive wedding. I want
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: a wedding. I want a wedding. I want a honeymoon.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I want I want the fairy tale wedding that that
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of the women want.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: Have a honeymoon and just go on a trip with
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: the person you.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: Love, and I want that for myself. I do. I
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: want that person to show me that they.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: You know what you and Tarzan trip.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: Next week, they feel like someone special, That's what I want.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: But I think that you can.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: But I also feel like you shouldn't have someone makes
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: you feel special. You should already feel like I feel.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: Some of my concern is like you should be These
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: things that you want men to give you or find
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: or make you feel, you can already feel on your own,
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: and that actually, if you can figure out how to
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: make those things and feel those things and do that
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: for yourself already, you will be able to find a
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: person faster and better and whatever, because you will have that.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Because I had such a stellar father that I am
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: looking for a stellar husband. And it's very difficult because
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: they just don't make them like Thomas colaurn Well.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: They make it Thomas Cola Junior.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: They make me. Yes, my twin is amazing.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: We love we love Uncle Tommy.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: We love Tommy. He's a great father. He's a great brother.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: He's a great uncle to you, he's a great husband
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: to me. Me, He's he's just like, he's such a
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: great he's so funny and he's so great.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: He just I love him so much.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: He's amazing. But that's the problem I have. I mean,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: most of them are like, oh my god, I'm in
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: a harbor relationships with my parents.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: I'm this.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: I have all these issues. And like, I don't have
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: any issues with men. I just like love being around them.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I genuinely love being around men. I find them to
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: be funny, charismatic, charming, like I love their idiot secrecies.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Like I genuinely love being around men. And I know
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: a lot of them do not.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of guy friends. I love men,
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: I love women. I love people.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Did you say you're a girls girl or you're like
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: more of like a guy's girl.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: I am a this is the thing.
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: I'm a girls girl, like I will always I'm like,
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: my my girlfriends are like so important to me, and
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: they like my friends become like but I also have
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: really close.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Guy friends as well that I love, like who I
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: love so much. But I think that.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: I will always try to support women in the way
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: that I any way that I can, and I will
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: not put up with men doing things in a way
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: if I feel like they're being such anistick or whatever.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I'll be like when this this last weekend, I was
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: I was at a client's house and I'm this woman
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: who owns the beautiful house has done me for a
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: long time, and she said to see she said, you know,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: she said, I've always wanted to be closer with your mom,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: but she always puts you guys first. Yeah, and you
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: told me this because I hope we can be closer now.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: And literally almost start blowing my eyes out. I think
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: it's funny because people are like like Lwan's always like,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Kelly Darling, you're a guys girl, and I'm like, actually,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: I am, I mean, I love I love, you know,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: hanging around with men and having fun with them and dating,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: and you know, I love all that. But I'm definitely
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: I would never say that I'm a guy's girl. I'm
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: so grateful to have you, my beautiful daughters, Like I'm
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: so grateful to have you guys into like just watch
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: you navigate, you know, all these uncharted waters. It's like
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: it's been incredible.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: I think that you.
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Do like the company of like straight men. I think
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: you like the company of day men too. I think
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: that you like the company of men. I think that,
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: but I think that you.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: I feel like being a girl's girl is about choosing.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: I feel like my girls it is different than your
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: girls girlsness because I work in a man's world.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Every all my publishing no I know actually knows a
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: lot of women.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Publishing, but the majority of the business that I work
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: in is a man's world, and I just don't don't.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: I don't have any like competition with them. I don't
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: like put on armor when I go to meet someone
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: in real estate or whatever.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: My question to you, mom, is being a girl's girl,
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: you have to be supportive of women for being women
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: in that way. So it's like if my friend is
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: acting I think that sometimes you can be hard on
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: women as a woman. I think also because you're in
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: a different generation than I am, So it's like your
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: your idea of being a girls girl is different because
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: you're not able to actually be as like I don't
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: think you're as much of a girl's girls who think
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: you are because you you try to push out this
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: like you're like, I want to support I want to
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: be supportive, but to be supportive you actually have to
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: want to support work these people. And you can't just
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: like say words and do things. You need to actually
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: want have the desire first to do so. And I
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: think that if you want to be a girl's girl
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: and you want to be that way, you need to
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: do it in a way and feel it in a
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: way where it's like I think that people, what are
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: you gen X?
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: You're you gen X? Yeah, you're a gen X, Like
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I think gen X.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I'm in particular, actually have a difficulty trying to be
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: you know, like support women out of the way because
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: you're still in that way of being taught to compete
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: with women and or that women are like like you're
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: you're taught to be like is this woman my friend
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: or my competition, and whereas like my generation, I think
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: we are much more about like, you know, I have
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: friends who look very similar to me, I have friends
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: who look very different than me. All these things, and
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: it's like even when like a guy, like I went
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: to college with girls who are a lot of girls
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: were blonde.
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: I'm a blonde girl.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: I have blue eyes, I look I went to college
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: with a lot of girls who looked like me, and
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: a lot of the guys obviously liked blonde blondes because
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: they were there's one blondes everywhere, and it wasn't like
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: we were.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: I was ever, like, I never have.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: Ever gotten into a fight with a friend over a
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: guy or felt like I had to compete with a
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: friend over a guy, because my idea is always like
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: if they like her, then they should.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Go for her. They don't like if they liked me,
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: they would only like me, I.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Think, which is interesting. What you're talking about being being
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: a girls girl is that you know there's all these things,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: all these choices and decisions frame your life, right, so
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: you know there's a lot of things, different things that
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: people go through. But a woman of my age of
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: fifty seven, like I've seen so many iterations of how
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: women treat other women, and to your point, like you
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: guys have the freedom to not see women so much
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: as competition. Like when I was great getting when I
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: was growing up, everyone was like, when you're going to
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: get married, who's your boyfriend? Who's this? And just like
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: you were saying, like.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: Well, even now people ask me if I have a boyfriend.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: I don't, by the way, but I just think that, mom,
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: I think that the idea I'm just.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Saying that there's I'm just saying that going through these
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: different moments in my life that there have been, you know,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: moments where people are very, very competitive. And you know,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a high school with twenty kids
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: in my graduating class, my twin brother and I, so
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: that's eighteen other students I was modeling at the time.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: By the time I was fifteen years old, all over
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: the world, all by myself, all the time, meeting new
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: people every single day. There was never consistency. There was
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: never that moment where it was like I could rely
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: on someone or a friendship because I would you know,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: they'd be my I'd be living with them as a roommate,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: and then I would just never see them again, and
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: so I had a lot of inconsistency.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Were there cell phone at this time? I don't even know.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, you guys have like pagers.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: And then and when I did have some strong friendships,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: you know, women were super competitive with me. They're like
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: how you know, Oh you only get that because you're pretty.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, like I always felt like I had to
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: be more than everyone else, more educated, more this, more that,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: just to be just to be able to be like,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: you know, for people to say like, oh, she's she's
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: doing well, but my.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: Mom there's that's actually like that feeling is authentic as
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: a woman living in the world because basically I'm I'm
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: I'm of the belief system that the reason why women
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: today are not still like that we're still not at
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: the place we all want to be. We all, like
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: a lot of women be like we want you know,
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: you don't like it's we all know we live in
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: a patriarchal society. And I always say that the reason
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: why that we do, and that women aren't at the
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: level that we want to be, or at the a
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: level of power and control that we want to have
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: over our lives, over our bodies, over the world, over.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Whatever is because it's our fault.
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: It is because from a young age, we are taught, okay,
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: you need to be the most beautiful, the most intelligent,
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: the most the thinnest, the funniest, all these things, because
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: if you're not, the girl next door will be and
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: she's going to steal your husband. Like we're taught that
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: the only thing in life is for us to find
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: a husband and to have children. That's a beautiful thing,
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: and that's that's an amazing, huge part of life. And
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: I think that it's something that I want where I
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: want to get married and I want to have children.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: I want to be I say, at home mom but
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: at some point in my life and I want to
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: do that and I want to raise my kids. But
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: I also understand that my value isn't only in whether
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: a man picks me or not.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: And I think that a lot of women have been
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: taught that you.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: Need to make yourself into the perfect thing so he
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: will choose you instead of understanding that, and so you
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: see all these other women as someone who's against you,
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: when you should be seeing them as you know, this
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: is about sisterhood. There's always this idea of bro code,
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: but no one really uses girl Code as like girl
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: cod doesn't really like a thing, Like people don't really
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: support women, like women don't really support each other as
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: much as they should because they have this internalized fear
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: that we've been taking. This is very like young children
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: that our value is inherently given to us by what
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: men think of us, which is not a good thing
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: because because now it's like either you dress for men
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: or just for women. But it's like, what about dressing
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: for yourself and finding who you like and finding who
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: you are? And that's why I say to you that
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: That before you are looking for this guy, that you're seeing,
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: who are you? And do you like who you are?
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: And do you like do you think that you're the
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: person at your level that you want to be? And
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: if you are, then you're ready to go. But I
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: don't think you need to keep on looking for these
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: people if you don't feel as though you're a healed
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: person enough. I mean, no one's perfect, but I think
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: that if you feel like your nest isn't nesting, then
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: there's nothing gonna do.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: You can't have little birdies there. You know.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: It's interesting that you say that, because being on this
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: podcast has been like a huge like nest for me
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: where I feel safe and I feel open, and I've
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: had such incredible conversations with so many different people, including
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: you and Tommy, and I've just had so I've met
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: so many new friends, and I just I finally like
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: I actually feel safe to talk about the things that
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: are important to me. And you are very important to me,
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: and I love you, Love you, love you, Teddy mensimone,
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: You're the angel princess of all angel princesses.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: I feel like I was a little feisty today, but
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: I do love you. I was like, pretty feisty. I
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: was like, I like this thing, and I was like, wow,
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: that was really feisty.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: Tough love my love tough.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Someone something's wrong with me? I mean mean a little hungry.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Maybe you know put this episode that I was a
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: little hungry in the beginning.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: Teddy, thank you so much for coming on the pod
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: and being so honest with me. I love you so much.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: Are you like me navigating dating as a single mom?
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: Need some advice? Call us or email us all the
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: infos in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: make sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: the main objective.