Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Can’t stand bicyclists

Transcript

Can’t stand bicyclists · Brett Keane and Eve Show

• 0:00
  I cannot stand these fucking bicyclist when I'm doing 30 and
• 0:04
  A50 because I'm stuck behind eight grown men dressed like
• 0:08
  fucking radioactive highlighters.
• 0:10
  I I start to develop opinions. Why the fuck are you guys riding
• 0:14
  3 deep down the road like there's no, they're not handing
• 0:17
  out gold medals at the end of this fucking cul-de-sac, Kyle.
• 0:21
  And why the fuck do you wear the spandex with all the sponsor
• 0:23
  names? Like nobody is looking at you
• 0:26
  and saying oh this 43 year old might be the future of athletic.
• 0:30
  Nobody looks like they're having fun.
• 0:32
  Nobody is smiling. They look like they're
• 0:34
  transporting organs that have to be to the hospital in 6 minutes
• 0:37
  or less. Meanwhile traffic is backed up 3
• 0:40
  fucking zip codes because Chad and his toward a midlife crisis
• 0:44
  thinks the fucking Rd. belongs to him and team spandex Thunder.
• 0:47
  And then when you go to pass them they throw their hands up
• 0:50
  like you're the fucking villain. Like you just violated the
• 0:53
  Geneva Convention. Meanwhile you just spent $10,000
• 0:56
  to be the world's most expensive inconvenience.
• 0:58
  And why do these guys travel? Evelyn packs.
• 1:01
  One bicycle is sure, I I can handle that.
• 1:03
  But eight of them? That's a tactical formation.
• 1:06
  That's a fucking infantry unit. And they roll up on you sounding
• 1:09
  like a fucking flock of asthmatic geese.