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How To Make a Narcissist Leave You Alone · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  How to force a narcissist to leave you alone.
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  It's one of the main questions that I get everywhere across
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  each and every one of my social media platforms.
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  I get it so much. Yeah, I'm dead serious.
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  So many people ask me, they're like, Lee, I'm struggling with
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  narcissistic abuse. I I When will the narcissist
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  ever leave you alone? How do I get them to leave me
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  alone? And I tell people, I said,
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  sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
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  And that makes people uncomfortable because as most
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  people think, right, as most people go as a survivor or
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  thriver or what not, whatever stage you're in, you would hope
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  that the narcissist or toxic person, whoever you're dealing
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  with will just leave you the hell alone, right?
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  You would hope that they would just leave you, get the hint,
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  leave you be and set you free. You would hope that that, that
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  that would be the case, right? But that's not the case with
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  narcissistic people because they think that you belong to them.
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  Seriously, let's get y'all. Let's keep it hiding ready like
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  a Little Caesar's pizza. The narcissistic people think
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  that you belong to them. So in with that mentality, if I
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  think that you belong to me, that means that I think that I
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  can do whatever I want to with you or to you and have you have
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  to get over it like you belong to me.
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  So that means I can have access to you anytime, whether we're in
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  a relationship or not. I get access to you any and
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  every time and that's dead. That's literally how the mind of
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  a lot of narcissists work. So a lot of people ask me like,
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  when will they ever leave you alone?
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  I said sometimes you got to make them.
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  And I think when I say make them, some people like y'all
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  might be passive people. You might not be aggressive
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  people, not necessarily aggressive.
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  You might have problems telling people no and standing up for
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  yourself, which is understandable.
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  A lot of people have that issue. It's just tough when you deal
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  with a narcissist. It's tough when you have that
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  issue of standing up for yourself and then you're dealing
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  with a narcissist, right? That can be a rough combination
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  because narcissistic people will absolutely take advantage of
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  y'all. Let's keep I'm, I'm definitely
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  keeping it hot and ready. Like narcissistic people will
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  100% take advantage of everything you have going on.
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  So you have to force them out of your life and sometimes like
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  force me there's there's a few different ways you can force
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  them to leave you alone. The first way is literally
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  calling the police like if they've been aggressive towards
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  you, if they've been harassing you, if they are stalking you,
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  if they are put their hands on you, if they are hurt you in any
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  type of way like that, you might actually have a case to stand a
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  a foot to stand on right a leg to stand on.
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  You might actually have that ready to go.
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  Seriously, this might be part of what comes next for you might
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  actually have that ready to go and you can get the police
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  involved. Now, all the police going to
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  help every single person. No, we all know that.
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  We get that the police are not going to be helpful to every
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  single person. That is just not how it works.
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  But you still if you have the ability to file charges or get a
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  restraining order, you might have to do that.
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  Y'all believe if I get a restraining order they're in the
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  army or they're in the military? He would ruin their life.
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  They have a security clearance. The restraining order would ruin
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  their life. I just want them to stop
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  stalking me and harassing me and hacking my stuff and beat him.
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  You might have to go look. You're not look if you have to
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  get a restraining order or call the police on them.
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  You don't have like, you're not ruining their life.
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  Regardless of how they try to slice it, it's not you that is
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  ruining their life. They can choose to leave you
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  alone, but they're choosing not to.
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  They're choosing to mess with you.
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  They're choosing to do this type of stuff to you.
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  They are choosing it. It's not you, right?
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  It's not you doing it. It's them messing with you.
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  And if they keep messing with you, if they keep doing this
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  type of stuff, then yeah, they're yeah, they're ruining
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  their own life. You're protecting yourself.
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  They're trying to make you feel like you're selfish or that you
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  don't. You never cared about them for
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  calling the police or getting a restraining order or doing this.
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  No, it's on them. Their behaviors got you to this
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  point. It's not you.
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  How the hell is that? How?
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  Yeah. How the hell is that your fault
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  that you have to call the police or somebody that refuses to
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  leave you alone If you look at them directly in their face and
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  ask them that, hey, can you please just leave me alone?
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  And they say no, or they stalk you and harass you and they just
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  say, I'm never going to leave you alone.
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  You're going to have to do it. So sometimes one way to force
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  them to leave you alone is literally by calling the police.
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  You might have to get the law involved.
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  You might have to get a restraining order.
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  You might have to do that. Like y'all, it's it.
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  It is not your fault. It absolutely is not your fault
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  that you would have to do something like that.
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  They made the choice. They refused to leave you alone.
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  They kept doing all this kind of craziness.
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  They refused to leave you alone. So you, they made the choice to
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  do it right there. So that's the mentality that you
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  have to go into it with. You're not ruining their life.
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  They are doing this to themselves.
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  That's part, that's the first part of right there.
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  Y'all, the next thing, the next thing that's possible right
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  here. Y'all of how you have to get
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  them to leave or forcing them to leave you alone is exposing
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  them. Now I know when I said they're
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  right there, they made a lot of y'all feel queasy, right?
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  I know a lot of y'all stomach started turning your your head
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  might start hurting like exposing them.
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  Woo. Of course before you expose
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  them. Y'all before you expose them
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  literally listen to me right now.
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  Be careful. Sometimes exposure can get them
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  to leave you alone because they, they, if you expose a
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  narcissist, a lot of times they'll lick their wounds and
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  disappear, right? Because now they're so ashamed.
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  The shame, like their reputation is ruined.
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  They have nowhere else to hide. People know who they are.
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  So they will in essence leave you alone a lot of times, a lot
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  of the time, right? But sometimes you have to think
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  about it like this. If their identity is all they
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  have, sometimes they might feel like they have nothing to lose.
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  A person like that might feel like they have absolutely
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  nothing to lose and then they might come for you.
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  Think about it like that. They might feel like they have
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  absolutely, absolutely nothing to lose and then they might come
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  for you. They might try to hurt you or
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  harm you in a physical dangerous way.
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  They might become very hyper, hyper sensitive and dangerous
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  and try to come take you on a bottle here.
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  So you have to be careful with the exposure part.
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  But exposing them for who they really are, showing the world
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  for showing the world who they really are can't help you in the
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  long run. It really can.
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  I'm just like, yeah, I'm just, I'm literally just keeping it
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  hot and ready with you. I'm literally keeping it hot and
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  ready like a Little Caesar's pizza with you right now.
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  This is how they're going to do. This is how they're going to
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  work. Seriously.
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  So you, as someone who's dealing with this person, have to
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  understand that, like, if this is that if exposing them is the
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  only way, hey, you might have to do it.
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  You might have to look, sometimes you might have to not
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  have to go all the way and expose them.
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  Sometimes you might just have to threaten to expose them again.
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  This can be dangerous. I know people like Lee you
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  giving bad advice that is going to get people hurt.
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  I'm telling you, it can be dangerous.
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  I'm literally telling you right now they're exposing this person
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  for who they really are. Can be dangerous to you.
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  It absolutely can because some of these bastards are crazy.
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  Some of these people will lose their minds.
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  And the thing about it is you're not lying on them.
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  You're not lying on them. If you expose them, like expose
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  them with the truth about who they are, that's not lying on
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  them. That's why you got to think
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  about it like that right there. You're absolutely not lying on
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  anybody in this situation. You're telling the truth.
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  Exposing them is not a smear campaign.
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  Regardless of what they say, they'll try to tell you you're a
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  smear campaigning me right? You're this is a smear campaign
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  you have going on right now. This is what you're doing.
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  This is smear. You're the narcissist.
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  You exposing them is not a spirit smear campaign.
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  If you're telling the truth, how does that make sense?
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  A smear campaign is lies. It's rumors, it's stuff that is
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  made-up. It's trying to damage their
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  reputation with lies and falsities.
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  Exposing them with the truth is not a smear campaign, so don't
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  let them convince you otherwise, y'all?
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  Again, exposing them can get into some of them to leave you
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  alone, but it can also aggravate some of the crazier ones, so be
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  careful when you think you want to expose it another way.
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  Y'all to get them to leave you alone is to cut off all access
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  and damn disappear on them like you have to.
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  Forcing them to leave you alone sometimes means absolutely going
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  no contact and blocking them, right?
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  Blocking them over and over again.
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  They call it like you might have to look.
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  Going no contact means sometimes you might have to change your
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  phone number, y'all. Because if they, you know, y'all
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  know today. In today's day and age, people
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  still can use Star 6-7 or block their phone number and call
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  them, call you even if they're blocked.
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  Sometimes you might have to change your phone number.
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  Sometimes you might have to change your e-mail address.
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  Sometimes, if they're stalking you, you might have to change
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  your address. I've heard people moving to
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  protect themselves. You might have to actually
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  change your address in order to get away from some of these
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  crazy bastards. Let's be, let's keep it.
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  Let's keep it real. You might actually have to
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  change your address to survive. Doesn't that sound crazy as hell
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  that you have to change the address that you've been living
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  at for a long time for 5/10/15, twenty years to survive and get
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  this person to leave you alone? Yeah, I'm not telling you this
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  is what you have to do. Sometimes you might have to
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  change your whole lifestyle up because, yeah, some people are
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  dangerous. They'll tell you straight up,
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  I'm going to take your life. They'll take you straight up.
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  I'm coming. They'll they'll tell you
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  straight up, I'm coming for you. I'm going to do this.
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  I'm going to do that. Sometimes they absolutely will.
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  So you have to be careful. You really do.
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  You have to be careful. You have to protect yourself and
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  you have to stay as safe as possible because some of these
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  bastards will absolutely lose their mind.
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  Some of them will lose their cool and make you feel like you
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  are the problem here. You're not the problem.
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  They are. What they're doing is the
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  problem. How they're treating you is the
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  problem, not how you're reacting.
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  How you're reacting is not the problem.
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  How you choose to protect yourself is not the problem.
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  So you need to do whatever is necessary to get them to leave
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  you be. Exposing them can help you out
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  sometimes, y'all. But again, it doesn't always
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  work. Change your phone number doesn't
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  always work. None of this stuff always works.
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  Sometimes you might have to do a combination of all these things.
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  Sometimes you have to create your own pathway to forcing them
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  to leave you alone. Sometimes that's what you have
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  to do. If you have kids, it's different
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  y'all. If you have kids and you don't
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  have a third party to be the intermediary or the middle man
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  you, it'd be hard to get them to leave you be because they're
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  still, you still have contact through the kids.
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  So this is my last advice in closing right here.
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  If you don't have kids with a narcissist, don't have kids with
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  a narcissist. Please don't.
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  Don't kids don't like y'all. If you're on the way out, if
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  you're on the way out, stop sleeping with them unprotected.
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  Stop sleeping with them at all if possible.
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  But like don't sleep with them unprotected.
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  Take your birth control pills, get them plain BS Do whatever it
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  takes. Don't be on, don't be on the way
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  out. Y'all don't understand when I do
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  my one on ones of resume sometimes that people will be on
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  the way out the relationship and have to have one last go round
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  in the bedroom and get a then get them pregnant or get
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  pregnant by them and then be looking just feeling silly.
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  You have to control your you. You have to have some discipline
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  on the way out in order to get them to leave you alone.
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  You have to have discipline in the bedroom, discipline on the
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  phone calls, discipline on the social media.
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  You have to have discipline blocking them everywhere.
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  Going no contact all that type of stuff can help you in the
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  end. But this is it is going to help
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  you survive y'all. Anyways, y'all, like I said, I
• 11:27
  still do my one on ones over zoom.
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  You can find my my coaching and stuff like that at
• 11:31
  mentalillness.net. Enter the code mental 10 for 10%
• 11:35
  off the zoom coaching or phone calls I do.
• 11:37
  I do phone calls or y'all click one of these to watch another
• 11:40
  video and I'm out. Peace.