Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / The Power of Self-Soothing

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The Power of Self-Soothing · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
0:07
Speaker 1: Never told you a protection if I heard you.
0:18
Speaker 2: And today's episode is based on my current life status.
0:23
Speaker 2: Any things are not wonderful here in Sandland. Just to
0:26
Speaker 2: be real, honest, your girl is on arthritis meds. I'm
0:30
Speaker 2: as due to some type of contact related infection. Y'all
0:33
Speaker 2: have been able to wear my contacts and my glasses
0:35
Speaker 2: are odd and everything's a little blurry and a little
0:38
Speaker 2: too intensive. Evering's fine, And yes, I have isolated myself
0:44
Speaker 2: for a few weeks now. My partner has been gone
0:47
Speaker 2: doing family emergency things, so I am really alone, and
0:53
Speaker 2: my physical and social outlet is a temper is temporarily
0:56
Speaker 2: on the hiatus because other people want to go on vacation. JK,
1:01
Speaker 2: I'm proud of them. You do you go on that
1:03
Speaker 2: vacation anyway, So it feels a bit bleak over here.
1:07
Speaker 2: And again, sam Land this, I know this is starting
1:11
Speaker 2: to sound like a btin wine, but it isn't. I'm
1:14
Speaker 2: promised I'm going somewhere with this actual episode. You know,
1:18
Speaker 2: how we do we get some things at a little
1:19
Speaker 2: more research. This is not as heavily researched as a
1:22
Speaker 2: typical episode because we are still reeling from the dragon
1:26
Speaker 2: con Birthday, holidays, holidays, and then more chaos as it goes.
1:32
Speaker 2: But I thought I would talk about what I just
1:36
Speaker 2: went down, this little rabbit hole of how women may
1:39
Speaker 2: handle stress and then also self soothing and comfort habits.
1:44
Speaker 2: Now I am bringing in this term self soothing and
1:46
Speaker 2: comfort habits, I'm going to enterchange those words and terms,
1:50
Speaker 2: and I'm not necessarily being completely scientific when I'm talking
1:53
Speaker 2: about these things. And we are more talking about the
1:56
Speaker 2: habits or rituals as opposed to like stemming or fidget
2:00
Speaker 2: tools and all of that. So we're not going into
2:02
Speaker 2: that route, which I think we should come back and
2:04
Speaker 2: talk about, because I did have an interesting video pop
2:08
Speaker 2: up in a woman talking about I think like she's
2:11
Speaker 2: celebrating her one hundred and fifty days of not self harming,
2:15
Speaker 2: and then also about stemming and about that little cause
2:18
Speaker 2: of pain, whether it's like flicking with a rubber band
2:21
Speaker 2: or like the stemming is like has pokey things that
2:24
Speaker 2: you can actually squeeze to get a little bit of
2:26
Speaker 2: that sensation. I do want to come back to that
2:29
Speaker 2: because I do find that phenomenon something that we should
2:31
Speaker 2: talk about especially at the time of stress and kind
2:35
Speaker 2: of self soothing as it is related to therapy, the
2:38
Speaker 2: both negative and positive. But we're not necessarily talking about that.
2:41
Speaker 2: We're going to get a little bit into that, as
2:44
Speaker 2: in like research into that, but not those techniques or
2:49
Speaker 2: ideals because also it's becoming a marketing thing and I
2:52
Speaker 2: feel like, again we should talk about it, but this
2:57
Speaker 2: is not that episode. We're going to talk more about
2:59
Speaker 2: like habits such as waited blankets, or habits about watching
3:03
Speaker 2: movies or me isolating myself and watching right it too
3:07
Speaker 2: for the fifteen hundred times, or now Kate Pop Demon
3:10
Speaker 2: Hunter for the one hundredth time. That's become my name thing.
3:13
Speaker 2: But anyway, so with that, I thought we would talk
3:16
Speaker 2: a little bit about that. And I know again we
3:18
Speaker 2: talked about this before rewatching the same shows, eating the
3:22
Speaker 2: Food from Childhood, et cetera. But I was also thinking
3:25
Speaker 2: about the desire to dig into something, whether it's a
3:27
Speaker 2: new hobby of you know, punch datelying. By the way,
3:30
Speaker 2: I'm getting back to that because the holidays are coming
3:32
Speaker 2: and some people are gonna give some homemade things. I
3:35
Speaker 2: feel like Katie rejected my coaster and I'm a little
3:38
Speaker 2: hurt by this. I'm just kidding. She didn't y'all, but
3:40
Speaker 2: I did leave that out and she left it behind,
3:42
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, okay, I'm gona hold on
3:47
Speaker 2: to this, but that is coming back Annie, because you
3:50
Speaker 2: know who doesn't love homemade coasters that kind of resemble something.
3:55
Speaker 2: And then even the nostalgic revisits of childhood class, which
4:01
Speaker 2: we did last month, and I still think about a
4:03
Speaker 2: lot of those because I started to see videos about
4:05
Speaker 2: still Magnolia's It was like, oh, yeah, and you've never
4:08
Speaker 2: seen this, right, No, wid I find interesting. But anyway,
4:13
Speaker 2: moving in fact again, So we just had an episode yesterday,
4:19
Speaker 2: but we're recording it in the same day about all
4:21
Speaker 2: the things that you saw at Dragon Cot in your
4:23
Speaker 2: experience and the things I saw again. I saw many
4:26
Speaker 2: like throwbacks, whether it was Ghostbusters, lots of Ghostbusters. I
4:29
Speaker 2: saw Teletubbies, whether they're creepy or not, the Mummy, back
4:34
Speaker 2: to the Future, and I know Christopher Lloyd was there,
4:36
Speaker 2: so I wonder if that was an ode to him.
4:37
Speaker 2: But I saw a lot of back to the future
4:39
Speaker 2: there and I was like, ah, huh.
4:41
Speaker 1: I saw Christopher Lloyd, did you Yes? No, he doesn't
4:47
Speaker 1: know who is you.
4:48
Speaker 2: Guy, he doesn't care. He knows people who don't know
4:50
Speaker 2: who they know him, he doesn't know them. Like that's
4:52
Speaker 2: the thing you could say, hi, and also again reminiscing
4:55
Speaker 2: with the actors who you loved as children. During Dragon Cot,
4:59
Speaker 2: I saw like many actors, did any of the Lord
5:02
Speaker 2: of the Rings people come through? I thought I saw
5:03
Speaker 2: maybe they were coming through, And I thought I saw
5:06
Speaker 2: some people from Buffy coming through.
5:09
Speaker 1: David Boran was saying there was a big Bones contingents.
5:12
Speaker 2: Oh, he's not That was not my thing.
5:15
Speaker 1: Me either, but I know that he was there more
5:19
Speaker 1: for Bones, oh and for Angel. Simon Peg was there,
5:23
Speaker 1: and he was there for a bunch of stuff.
5:25
Speaker 2: Simon Peg was there. That's big.
5:26
Speaker 1: Yeah John the names, Yeah, artist by from the Mummy.
5:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. People were oh yeah excited.
5:37
Speaker 1: Also I have to say I saw some less unicorn
5:40
Speaker 1: oh and merchandise.
5:45
Speaker 2: It's interesting. So yeah, just brought me back to these
5:48
Speaker 2: things like where childhood things feel comforting and yeah, it
5:52
Speaker 2: all came back to how the older generations have made
5:55
Speaker 2: new habits for self soothing or comfort and I just
5:59
Speaker 2: thought to wonder, what is this actually? What does it
6:02
Speaker 2: look like on the gender line, What does it look
6:03
Speaker 2: like when it comes to just reminiscing and how is
6:06
Speaker 2: it healthy or unhealthy? So I will say right here
6:09
Speaker 2: we do mention obesity and eating habits. I don't think
6:12
Speaker 2: we go into anything specific. There are some technical terms
6:15
Speaker 2: that I'm gonna struggle through, but nothing big, but just
6:19
Speaker 2: so you know, and drug use an alcohol just mentions.
6:21
Speaker 2: We're not really getting into it. So before we get
6:24
Speaker 2: into alt that, let's talk about what self soothing is.
6:26
Speaker 2: And this is from the Oxford language, outside of its
6:28
Speaker 2: reference to children, which we'll kind of mention here in libit,
6:32
Speaker 2: but it is enabling a person to comfort themselves when
6:35
Speaker 2: unhappy or distressed. So it's very simple. Essentially, it's a
6:39
Speaker 2: way to find a way to be okay. Right again,
6:44
Speaker 2: from the show Havenpsychology dot Com. They kind of go
6:46
Speaker 2: into it deeper, saying self soothing refers to any behavior
6:50
Speaker 2: and individual uses to regulate their emotional state by themselves.
6:55
Speaker 2: Self soothing behaviors are identifiable across the lifespan. So as
7:00
Speaker 2: mentioned above, a majority of the conversation around self soothing
7:03
Speaker 2: is about children or infants, with the idea that they
7:06
Speaker 2: are self soothing as a habit again introduced to infants,
7:10
Speaker 2: for example, the use of pacifiers or sucking on their thumbs,
7:14
Speaker 2: having a blanket or a toy that they have to
7:17
Speaker 2: have at all times. I've also seen it in not
7:19
Speaker 2: to compare, but like dogs when they get overly anxiously excited,
7:23
Speaker 2: they have something in their mouth at all times to
7:26
Speaker 2: not overreact. But that's also a form of self soothing
7:30
Speaker 2: as well. But here we are referencing the acts of
7:34
Speaker 2: habits such as watching comfort shows again, weighted animals or blankets,
7:38
Speaker 2: stress balls, fidget gadgets, et cetera, as adults, or habits
7:42
Speaker 2: or rituals that we have. So again we're not really
7:44
Speaker 2: talking about specific items like fidgets or stemming. That's a
7:48
Speaker 2: whole different thing.
7:49
Speaker 3: Again.
7:49
Speaker 2: I think we do need to come back to talk
7:51
Speaker 2: about especially as we're talking about our mental health. Yeah,
7:55
Speaker 2: it's not good, Anie, I'm not good. I'm fine, it's
7:58
Speaker 2: frything's fine.
7:59
Speaker 3: How are you giving me mixed messages?
8:03
Speaker 2: I think that is also a part of self serving, right,
8:08
Speaker 2: pretending like everything is just fine. Yeah, as like Egene
8:15
Speaker 2: Carroll told us, it's okay, laugh, laugh through it, am
8:18
Speaker 2: I right?
8:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think there's a part of the at
8:22
Speaker 1: least for me, things can feel very small. So like
8:29
Speaker 1: one of the things I'll do is I'll put on
8:31
Speaker 1: like really comfy socks and I'll read fan fiction, and
8:36
Speaker 1: I there's a part of myself that has to tell
8:39
Speaker 1: me like this is the best thing ever, like I'm
8:42
Speaker 1: having the best time, and I am having a great time.
8:45
Speaker 1: But a part of it is kind of hyping it
8:47
Speaker 1: up to like everything's fine. I forgot my soft socks,
8:51
Speaker 1: my fan fiction, It's okay, We're okay, we are.
8:55
Speaker 2: All okay, like whispering really violently to yourself. But yeah.
8:59
Speaker 2: But again, the self soothing idea, I think it's been
9:01
Speaker 2: more correlated in the past with children infants, teaching them
9:06
Speaker 2: to like be okay, that whole like crying it out
9:09
Speaker 2: type of thing, which, by the way, back and forth
9:11
Speaker 2: I've seen different. I'm not a parent, so I don't know,
9:13
Speaker 2: but there's a lot of debate in that. But it
9:16
Speaker 2: does have a lot of reference to infants in childhood.
9:19
Speaker 2: And maybe this is why when we talk about comfort
9:21
Speaker 2: habits or self soothing it could be seen as feminized
9:25
Speaker 2: maybe or because of its association again with children and infants,
9:28
Speaker 2: a way of feeling infantilized through these habits. And again,
9:32
Speaker 2: some of our self soothing is loving something, being a
9:35
Speaker 2: fan of something, finding a moment to maybe find that fanfic.
9:39
Speaker 2: If you are huge into k pop. There's a lot
9:42
Speaker 2: of people who really like what pad, which I did
9:44
Speaker 2: not know was a thing until you referenced it, and
9:47
Speaker 2: then friend Marissa for another show was like, yeah, a
9:49
Speaker 2: lot of capop fin fiction happens there, like what, And
9:54
Speaker 2: I've seen that in reference, But like that can be
9:57
Speaker 2: an way of self soothing, Like you were trying to
10:00
Speaker 2: go into a fantasy world and something that you love,
10:03
Speaker 2: and a lot of it feels infantalized when we like
10:06
Speaker 2: make jokes of it or say, oh, these are these
10:08
Speaker 2: girls all these things? Again, it's interesting, and you know,
10:11
Speaker 2: we're not the only one. We talked about this repeatedly.
10:14
Speaker 2: Here's a quote from Hofstra Chronicle dot com and she
10:17
Speaker 2: talks about her love of different fandoms in different things
10:20
Speaker 2: that she thinks are great. She says, societally feminine interests
10:24
Speaker 2: are tied to vanity, emotion, and excess. Watching women fall
10:27
Speaker 2: in love in beautiful dresses is one of my favorite pastimes,
10:30
Speaker 2: whether it be in a Jane Austen novel The Bridgeton
10:33
Speaker 2: Series fantasies filled with princesses getting trolled in marble halls,
10:37
Speaker 2: or the sound of music. My love for artists like
10:40
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift and the joy of find in decoding her
10:42
Speaker 2: song lyrics, analyzing her fashion moments and scream singing in
10:46
Speaker 2: the card does not detract from my intelligence. In society,
10:49
Speaker 2: soft femininity is judged to be weak. We've talked about
10:53
Speaker 2: this repeatedly, recently too, because we talked a lot about fandoms.
10:58
Speaker 2: Of course, with all that, it is interesting that women
11:01
Speaker 2: being interested in something or liking something is thought of
11:04
Speaker 2: as childish. So when we talk about collecting dolls versus
11:07
Speaker 2: collecting action figures, Am I right?
11:10
Speaker 3: Ye?
11:11
Speaker 2: Little bobbleheads versus a doll, Barbie doll which probably worth
11:16
Speaker 2: thousands of dollars if you have the right one from
11:19
Speaker 2: way back when. But it also can be seen that
11:21
Speaker 2: women's habits when it comes to stress is seen as
11:23
Speaker 2: different as well. In a research paper written by Frank
11:27
Speaker 2: Rena and Andrew Julius about gender differences in self soothing,
11:30
Speaker 2: they write this, gender differences and coping styles have long
11:34
Speaker 2: been documented, with research consistently demonstrating that males and females
11:37
Speaker 2: exhibit distinct preferences in how they regulate stress and emotional discomfort. Historically,
11:43
Speaker 2: females are more likely to engage in emotion focused coping strategies,
11:47
Speaker 2: while males gravitate toward problem focused or distraction based approaches.
11:53
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's me. I'm going to do both.
11:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I go through I have spurts
12:02
Speaker 1: where I want to like actively physically do something right
12:05
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel better. Yet they're not. I
12:09
Speaker 1: can't depend on them. They kind of come out of nowhere.
12:12
Speaker 2: I feel you're more better at that than I am,
12:14
Speaker 2: because at least you are like productive when you do that.
12:18
Speaker 2: As where I start something and just look at it
12:20
Speaker 2: and I don't like this anymore. You finish it out.
12:25
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I quit. But anyway, They go on
12:28
Speaker 2: to talk about how the two genders. Yes, this is
12:31
Speaker 2: very much heteronormative research here, binary apologies, but we're going
12:34
Speaker 2: with what we have and they are likely to do so. So,
12:37
Speaker 2: they write, Empirical findings suggest that females are more likely
12:41
Speaker 2: to engage in self soothing behaviors than males, particularly those
12:45
Speaker 2: involving emotional self talk and seeking internal reassurance. These behaviors
12:50
Speaker 2: align with the broader emotional socialization of girls, who are
12:53
Speaker 2: often encouraged to be introspective and emotionally expressive. The SCCS
12:58
Speaker 2: data show that female participants score higher on indices of
13:01
Speaker 2: cognitive self soothing, including self validating thoughts and visualizations of
13:06
Speaker 2: emotional safe spaces and then to continue. Males, on the
13:11
Speaker 2: other hand, may favor more physical or action oriented self
13:15
Speaker 2: soothing techniques, such as engaging in repetitive motion e g. Pacing, fidgeting,
13:20
Speaker 2: physical withdrawal, or non verbal gestures. These behaviors often reflect
13:25
Speaker 2: a cultural discouragement of overt emotional expression in boys and
13:29
Speaker 2: a preference for behavioral over cognitive or verbal processing of emotions. Notably,
13:35
Speaker 2: boys are often less likely to label these behaviors as
13:38
Speaker 2: coping or emotional regulation, contributing to their underreporting and self
13:42
Speaker 2: assessment studies. This whole level, like, we need a whole
13:46
Speaker 2: conversation about how men don't participate even though they're asked more. Yeah,
13:53
Speaker 2: they're focused more on but they like that I don't
13:55
Speaker 2: want to be And the underreporting or not even understanding
13:59
Speaker 2: what they're reporting.
14:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kind of curious how video gaming might come
14:16
Speaker 1: to play in this because I know we're gonna talk
14:20
Speaker 1: about it more later, but that that's one that I
14:22
Speaker 1: find that I go to when I'm stressed. But I
14:27
Speaker 1: know for a lot of people it's the opposite. But
14:30
Speaker 1: I just feel like a lot of men in my
14:32
Speaker 1: life it's almost kind of a turn off my brain,
14:37
Speaker 1: physical thing that they do. So I'm just curious.
14:41
Speaker 2: Now you say that my partner will be like after
14:45
Speaker 2: a hard day's work, is like, I'm just I'm just
14:46
Speaker 2: gonna play a little of so and so.
14:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because it does. It does like kind of
14:54
Speaker 1: involve a lot of times almost a fidget yea or
14:57
Speaker 1: something like with your fingers type of response. So yeah,
15:03
Speaker 1: just curious.
15:04
Speaker 2: That is interesting. But as we as this article above says,
15:10
Speaker 2: I'm thinking for men, I don't know, emotional regulation is
15:15
Speaker 2: for the weak to marginalize. Is that what I'm hearing?
15:20
Speaker 2: But I guess with all that it's actually a very
15:24
Speaker 2: mature response to be able to regulate. Again, from that
15:29
Speaker 2: same paper, they say the adaptive potential of self soothing
15:33
Speaker 2: is evident across genders. Studies have shown that individuals regardless
15:37
Speaker 2: of gender who actively and consciously engage in self soothing,
15:40
Speaker 2: report better mood regulations, improved sleep quality, and higher resilience
15:45
Speaker 2: in the face of chronic stress. Gender specific training and
15:48
Speaker 2: soothing techniques tailored to comfort with certain types of behavior
15:52
Speaker 2: could therefore enhance coping capacity for both males and females.
15:57
Speaker 2: So this is one of those things of like a
15:59
Speaker 2: it's not bad emotional regulation. Wow.
16:06
Speaker 3: Yeah.
16:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know why we've felt the need to
16:11
Speaker 1: turn it into a weakness.
16:13
Speaker 2: But yeah yeah. And as an added side point, they
16:17
Speaker 2: also talk about the facts males are more likely to
16:19
Speaker 2: participate in negative self soothing or external behaviors like aggression
16:24
Speaker 2: and drug use when their self soothing tactics are not working.
16:27
Speaker 2: So I've seen this throughout the different articles and columns
16:30
Speaker 2: talking about drug use as a self soothing technique as
16:33
Speaker 2: well as use of alcohol. And they're using this as
16:36
Speaker 2: if it's two separate things, So they are definitions of
16:38
Speaker 2: self soothing. It's definitely along the lines of like calm down,
16:43
Speaker 2: talk to yourselves, give yourself a pep talk. But that's
16:45
Speaker 2: not always what we're seeing. But with that, men are
16:48
Speaker 2: more likely to do the more aggressive things, and women
16:51
Speaker 2: who quote employ verbal and introspective forms of self soothing.
16:55
Speaker 2: They have higher levels of emotional literacy. Again, I would
16:59
Speaker 2: call it at maturity, yep, just mature. Might just be
17:06
Speaker 2: oversimplifying things, but I think that's the other part that
17:09
Speaker 2: we don't talk about emotional literacy and we're not getting
17:12
Speaker 2: into this here and what that lists like and how
17:14
Speaker 2: that is really beneficial in life.
17:20
Speaker 1: Yes, and your relationships with other people.
17:25
Speaker 2: It's very helpful, which we need apparently I don't believe that,
17:30
Speaker 2: but you know whatever. Moving on, So again, we've previously
17:33
Speaker 2: talked about some of our anxious habits and whether or
17:36
Speaker 2: not they're actual trauma responses as well. We're not getting
17:40
Speaker 2: too deep into that, but btdubs they are some of
17:44
Speaker 2: these things. They are, they are, and they do overlap.
17:49
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna get into all of it, but they
17:50
Speaker 2: talk about how we react to things. So whether it's
17:53
Speaker 2: being uncomfortable with the door knocks, I am not opening
17:56
Speaker 2: that damn door. I'll talk to you through the ring
17:59
Speaker 2: and tell you to leave. An I have a great
18:00
Speaker 2: loud dog to help me with this. She is because
18:06
Speaker 2: she sounds fierce, she does, but like, like that's our
18:11
Speaker 2: trauma response. Yeah, it is being too close to people
18:16
Speaker 2: being around too many people not want to see with
18:18
Speaker 2: your sit in a restaurant with your back exposed. I
18:22
Speaker 2: hate that. M M so. There's a lot of things,
18:26
Speaker 2: but one of the things they talk about in this
18:28
Speaker 2: as well as a trauma response, but also, you know,
18:32
Speaker 2: whatever is about comfort foods and overeating, that does not
18:37
Speaker 2: all go always go hand in hand. And I feel
18:39
Speaker 2: like that needs to be said. But a lot of
18:41
Speaker 2: the research does kind of overlap it, because when we
18:44
Speaker 2: talk about stress eating and binging versus comfort foods, there
18:48
Speaker 2: are different levels, obviously, but they do have that as
18:52
Speaker 2: an overlap of response to trauma and stress and anxiety.
18:57
Speaker 2: And I have several foods I call comfort foods. I
19:00
Speaker 2: have this weird taco salad that my mom made as
19:04
Speaker 2: a kid. Thanks Riceeroni for this recipe. I'm pretty sure
19:07
Speaker 2: it came from a back of the box of a
19:08
Speaker 2: Rice Eronni because you add Riceeronni to it. Not a
19:10
Speaker 2: sponsor Peak Doves. I made you this before.
19:15
Speaker 3: It was great.
19:16
Speaker 2: It's so delicious, Like it doesn't make sense how good
19:18
Speaker 2: it is. But I like this. I guess it's like
19:20
Speaker 2: Mexican rice and.
19:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fird. White people talking salty, yeah.
19:26
Speaker 2: Cheesy, get some tomatoes and salsa and greens all up
19:30
Speaker 2: in there. It's really good. Then I call something my
19:32
Speaker 2: country hodgepodge that I grew up eating, and that's a
19:36
Speaker 2: family thing, which is a mess of green beans, cream corn, macaroni, cheese,
19:41
Speaker 2: and corn bread and just goop it up and it
19:43
Speaker 2: just it sounds goofy, by the way. It's like, it
19:44
Speaker 2: makes that goopy sound. But it's delicious and it.
19:47
Speaker 3: Makes me very happy.
19:49
Speaker 2: But it reminds me a little bit of like the
19:51
Speaker 2: old school days when I was first learning to love
19:54
Speaker 2: country food because that was not my typical foods. And
19:59
Speaker 2: then my I go to rice with kimchi or rice
20:02
Speaker 2: and soy sauce and that's it.
20:04
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
20:05
Speaker 2: That's greatly delicious. But these are combor foods to me
20:08
Speaker 2: where I feel like over stressed and I just want
20:11
Speaker 2: something familiar, right. And then when it comes to do
20:16
Speaker 2: you have any any what are your food I don't
20:20
Speaker 2: you have ritual foods that's different from comfort foods.
20:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I feel like mine kind of I go
20:26
Speaker 1: through phases. That's with a lot of stuff we're going
20:28
Speaker 1: to talk about. But macaroni and cheese is pretty high
20:31
Speaker 1: up there. Uh, And right now ramen is my big one.
20:35
Speaker 1: I can't tell if it's because it's easy to make, like,
20:40
Speaker 1: I don't know. I did enjoy ramen as a kid.
20:43
Speaker 1: I've always loved rob But right now I'm in some
20:47
Speaker 1: kind of Ramen face.
20:50
Speaker 2: You know. I love ramen, and I loved it as
20:51
Speaker 2: a kid as well. My parents were getting very upset
20:54
Speaker 2: because my chunky self eating all the pasta that are
20:56
Speaker 2: like you, you know, the whole like Atkins diet was
20:58
Speaker 2: coming out. Then everybody's like down. But I would eat
21:01
Speaker 2: like my friend and I would eat it in so
21:04
Speaker 2: many different ways. And two of our favorite ways were
21:07
Speaker 2: when we would drain most of the water out, crunch
21:10
Speaker 2: it up, crunch it out the hell out of it,
21:12
Speaker 2: and then just put a mess of cheese and it
21:15
Speaker 2: was just and then and then the seasoning packet and
21:19
Speaker 2: that's the entirety of the meal.
21:21
Speaker 1: Oh wow, so you didn't cook it.
21:23
Speaker 2: You did cook it, I'm sorry, Sy, you cooked it,
21:25
Speaker 2: drained out the water like then then you'd mixed the
21:28
Speaker 2: seasoning and not all the seasoning either, by the way,
21:31
Speaker 2: because there was too much without the water. And then
21:35
Speaker 2: a lot of lots of cheese and that was the
21:38
Speaker 2: entire meal.
21:39
Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite things about Ramen. Oh kinds
21:43
Speaker 1: of stuff.
21:43
Speaker 2: And then we thought we were being real chefs when
21:45
Speaker 2: we took instant rice and put it at the bottom
21:47
Speaker 2: and then put the noodles on top of it. Carbs
21:49
Speaker 2: upon carbs upon coh.
21:51
Speaker 1: No, I think I think you were onto something.
21:54
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like we thought we were doing real,
21:57
Speaker 2: real chef culinary.
21:58
Speaker 1: Arts right here, Wait till someone hears about this.
22:04
Speaker 2: Asian people do it anyway to get the saucer anyway.
22:08
Speaker 2: Whatever I was relaying then, But yeah, there's a lot
22:10
Speaker 2: to that with comfort foods like this is some things
22:12
Speaker 2: that I remember and yes I still eat. We talked
22:15
Speaker 2: about Chef boy Ard that became a comfort food for
22:18
Speaker 2: me with all the cheesiness. I got to go for
22:20
Speaker 2: it not too long ago. So I can't eat it
22:22
Speaker 2: right now, but I'll probably come back to it. And
22:24
Speaker 2: again when it comes to comfort foods being actually comforting.
22:27
Speaker 2: Theirs research papers on this, In fact, so many, ranging
22:31
Speaker 2: from the obesity levels to stress levels to social levels
22:35
Speaker 2: of comfort foods, and many also talk about how mood
22:39
Speaker 2: affects the food. High stress could equal more sugar or
22:43
Speaker 2: processed foods. Soft serve is my weakness. When I feel sad,
22:50
Speaker 2: I just want soft serve. I just had an incident
22:53
Speaker 2: in which the soft serve fell into my hands because
22:56
Speaker 2: it was not frozen enough, and it just it was
22:59
Speaker 2: one of those said e or moments. It just wopped
23:03
Speaker 2: over and I just stared at it, and I was like,
23:05
Speaker 2: do I cry, not cry?
23:08
Speaker 1: That is rough that you needed your comfort soft serve
23:11
Speaker 1: and it fell.
23:13
Speaker 2: Oh no, They made it right and got me another
23:15
Speaker 2: one and put it in a bowl this time. But way.
23:19
Speaker 2: But of course, with all of that, when it comes
23:21
Speaker 2: to comfort, it's more complex than this when it comes
23:25
Speaker 2: to food, when it comes to food and eating disorders
23:28
Speaker 2: or just eating in stress. There's a lot more to this,
23:32
Speaker 2: of course, And here's a bit from adventurewoman dot com.
23:36
Speaker 2: They write one comfort food study notes that these culinary
23:39
Speaker 2: preferences lie at the intersection of taste, nostalgia, and loneliness.
23:43
Speaker 2: Another research project looking into comfort foods describe how comfort
23:47
Speaker 2: food what brings up associations of positive relationships and make
23:51
Speaker 2: us feel less lonely. The emotional satisfaction of comfort food
23:56
Speaker 2: ties into our attachment styles, or the ability to form health,
24:00
Speaker 2: the emotional bonds as well as the positive emotional association
24:05
Speaker 2: we formed as children. That is, a grilled cheese sandwich
24:09
Speaker 2: tastes good and reminds us of a happy childhood, and
24:12
Speaker 2: chicken soup makes us feel loved and care for. And
24:15
Speaker 2: I think that's kind of what we're talking about, what
24:17
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. When it says what I'm talking about
24:19
Speaker 2: comfort food, there's a lot of it is nostalgic, a
24:23
Speaker 2: lot of if it was yearning or missing something and
24:26
Speaker 2: then today remembering something. So I've talked about my connection
24:30
Speaker 2: with food and my connection with Korean culture and not
24:34
Speaker 2: remembering much, but my taste buzz remember it and after
24:38
Speaker 2: I process the traumatic moment of remembering it, wanting more
24:41
Speaker 2: of that. And I think that's something that they this
24:44
Speaker 2: article talks a little more about, and I think that's
24:46
Speaker 2: something that we kind of miss when all we see
24:49
Speaker 2: is obesity.
24:51
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, And it just makes sense. I remember
24:55
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, we had a whole episode on we
25:00
Speaker 1: weren't maybe being able to hang out with people and
25:04
Speaker 1: share these meals with people and missing those those things.
25:10
Speaker 3: That you just have maybe once a year. But it does.
25:13
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's like spot on of the
25:17
Speaker 1: It reminds you of this time in your life when
25:24
Speaker 1: somebody was caring for you or made this for you,
25:26
Speaker 1: or if it felt simpler in a way, or something
25:30
Speaker 1: that makes complete sense to me.
25:32
Speaker 3: And it makes sense to me a lot of times.
25:33
Speaker 1: On the other podcast, I do savor whenever we talk
25:36
Speaker 1: about the pandemic. So many what I would call kind
25:39
Speaker 1: of traditional comfort foods were selling more during the pandemic
25:44
Speaker 1: whecause people were wanted that, they wanted the comfort of that,
25:50
Speaker 1: and so they were Yeah, they're buying more mac and cheese,
25:53
Speaker 1: they're buying more chef warrity.
25:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely with that. Yes, there is that negative
26:01
Speaker 2: the adverse of food as well. There was another research
26:04
Speaker 2: paper written by A. Janet Tamiyama, Mary F. Dolmen, and
26:08
Speaker 2: Alyssa S. Eppel in which the research had a whole
26:11
Speaker 2: level of detail with obesity and stress eating and why
26:13
Speaker 2: this is a thing and to put it simply, those
26:16
Speaker 2: with the highest stress eight more. They write, quote, we
26:19
Speaker 2: found as hypothesized that the high stress group had significantly
26:23
Speaker 2: greater BMI and sagital diameter and reported greater eating after
26:27
Speaker 2: stressful events. In response to acute lab stressors to high
26:31
Speaker 2: stress group showed a blunt cortisol response, lower diurnal cortosol levels,
26:36
Speaker 2: and greater suppression in response to dexomethisone aka being stressed
26:41
Speaker 2: out and eating too much can be unhealthy, but again
26:44
Speaker 2: so are other types of stress related activities. So yes,
26:48
Speaker 2: we have often talked about stress eating and all of
26:51
Speaker 2: these things, but also could it be a look at
26:54
Speaker 2: what we see as bad versus good in food and
26:58
Speaker 2: any day excessive is bad?
27:02
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, absolutely, And I think this is interesting because
27:06
Speaker 1: I completely believe this is true. But in my case,
27:11
Speaker 1: when I get stressed to eat less, but it's it's
27:14
Speaker 1: still unhealthy, right because I'm not getting enough vitamins and
27:18
Speaker 1: when I do eat, I'm eating ramen, which I love,
27:20
Speaker 1: but it's you know, salt and ultar process. So that's
27:25
Speaker 1: also part of it too, right.
27:27
Speaker 2: And there's this level of conversation in like bipolar disorder,
27:32
Speaker 2: even when people are on specific levels that some people
27:35
Speaker 2: eat binge eat and some people stop eating. So there's
27:38
Speaker 2: extremes of that in that all like one diagnosis, which
27:42
Speaker 2: is very as much a spectrum spectrum when it comes
27:45
Speaker 2: to that as well. But it's interesting in that conversation
27:47
Speaker 2: as well, because it's all about control. So whether it's
27:49
Speaker 2: overeating or not eating enough, it's still a conversation of
27:53
Speaker 2: control and stress. And I do the same thing. Actually,
27:55
Speaker 2: I don't eat when I'm upset. If I'm depressed, I'm
27:58
Speaker 2: not going to be eating. You have to force me
28:00
Speaker 2: to eat. If I'm sad, I'm definitely not eating. And
28:03
Speaker 2: if I'm upset, my stomach is tore up. I actually
28:07
Speaker 2: have a lot of stomach issues when that happens. If
28:09
Speaker 2: I'm bored, I'm eating.
28:12
Speaker 3: Yeah.
28:13
Speaker 1: If I'm with people, that's my best bet. I will
28:16
Speaker 1: eat around people.
28:18
Speaker 2: Yes. Again, as the Adventure Women article talks about, they
28:22
Speaker 2: talk about sharing comfort foods or traditions. It's also a
28:24
Speaker 2: way to bond and share your traditions, family stories. Like again,
28:29
Speaker 2: I have shared my foods specifically because I think it's
28:33
Speaker 2: interesting and it's weird, and I always preface it with
28:35
Speaker 2: this is a not odd recipe, but I love it.
28:38
Speaker 2: You should try this with me, and they do, and
28:41
Speaker 2: you do. I may I have people come over for
28:46
Speaker 2: Chinese New Years Lunar New Years, so I can share
28:48
Speaker 2: Korean traditions that I want to remember or I want
28:51
Speaker 2: to bring into my own life because I've already missed
28:53
Speaker 2: so much of that and I want to do that
28:55
Speaker 2: with people I love. I'm very stressed out during that time,
28:59
Speaker 2: but I get really also, I don't eat a lot
29:01
Speaker 2: when I'm around people and make the food is weird.
29:05
Speaker 3: My mom's that way.
29:07
Speaker 1: She gets so like hung up on I should have
29:10
Speaker 1: done this, or I should have done this, or you know,
29:12
Speaker 1: I didn't add enough salt or all of that stuff,
29:16
Speaker 1: which makes complete sense.
29:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm that way, but yeah, but it is. It's
29:20
Speaker 2: about sharing my culture, my comfort, my need for you
29:24
Speaker 2: to see a part of me in that food, as
29:26
Speaker 2: well as remembering some things that I feel like I
29:29
Speaker 2: missed when it felt simpler, even if it was traumatic,
29:32
Speaker 2: there was moments that it felt simple in that vine.
29:36
Speaker 2: So I think that's a lot to what comfort food is.
29:48
Speaker 2: But you know, another way that I don't do, but
29:52
Speaker 2: I know someone else does, is the need to cry
29:56
Speaker 2: or to be heartbroken. So you watch sad movies. That
30:00
Speaker 2: is your comfort habit. Adie. I absolutely equit this to
30:05
Speaker 2: you and now Marissa, to be honest, because I was like,
30:06
Speaker 2: what is happening? Because our soup in sadness at Festival
30:10
Speaker 2: for your specific birthday was quite funny to me, and
30:15
Speaker 2: I need to know why.
30:22
Speaker 1: I. I guess I like it in a controlled environment.
30:31
Speaker 3: I like knowing.
30:35
Speaker 1: That it's coming and that I can kind of prepare myself.
30:40
Speaker 1: And I like having that moment of I know I've
30:44
Speaker 1: said it before, but a lot of times I feel
30:46
Speaker 1: like I can go to a funeral I won't cry
30:47
Speaker 1: at all, But when I watched like a sad movie
30:51
Speaker 1: or playing a sad game, than what I didn't cry
30:54
Speaker 1: at that funeral, I can cry during that.
30:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everything you say does get hit
31:02
Speaker 2: spot onto the research essentially, so this is some of
31:06
Speaker 2: the benefits from very well minded dot com. They say
31:09
Speaker 2: experience you get to experience sadness without anxiety. So they
31:15
Speaker 2: talk about how studies show exploring responses to sad stories.
31:19
Speaker 2: They discovered that participants experience just as much sadness when
31:23
Speaker 2: recalling a tragic personal event as when they watch tragic
31:26
Speaker 2: TV and movies. However, there's one noteworthy difference between recalling
31:32
Speaker 2: a personal tragedy and watching a fictional tragedy. Participants experience
31:36
Speaker 2: significantly more anxiety when they recall the personal tragedy than
31:40
Speaker 2: they did when they watched tragic shows and movies. This
31:44
Speaker 2: may be key to our ability to enjoy sad fictional stories.
31:47
Speaker 2: If a sad event happens in real life, is often
31:50
Speaker 2: accompanied by anxiety because we know that we'll continue to
31:53
Speaker 2: deal with the impact of that event. On the other hand,
31:57
Speaker 2: we aren't anxious about consuming a sad story because emotions
32:00
Speaker 2: we experienced through it won't continue to have an impact
32:04
Speaker 2: on us after we're done watching, reading, or listening. So
32:07
Speaker 2: it's being able to have that moment without the prologue.
32:12
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what do I do with the aftermath?
32:15
Speaker 1: Right? Like, oh, I have to deal with all of
32:18
Speaker 1: this fallout right now, and said, it's here, I go
32:22
Speaker 1: have this cathartic moment and how I can close the
32:26
Speaker 1: chapter on whatever it was, or you know, continue to
32:29
Speaker 1: think about the last of us and how much I'm
32:32
Speaker 1: sad about it, but in a way that doesn't like
32:34
Speaker 1: impact my life and the serious I have to make
32:38
Speaker 1: a decision about X, y Z.
32:41
Speaker 2: Way. Yeah, but it's also scientific, like these these things
32:45
Speaker 2: are not just the psychological benefits, but scientific physical evidence.
32:50
Speaker 2: It says, it really helps to let those tears out.
32:53
Speaker 2: So here's our Refinery dot com article written by Maggie's
32:56
Speaker 2: how she's just talking to. Psychologist Nancy Scarno points to
32:59
Speaker 2: a study that found watching traumatic films can potentially boost
33:02
Speaker 2: pain tolerance and feelings of group bonding to simplify that
33:07
Speaker 2: a little consuming depressing content can actually make you feel
33:10
Speaker 2: good because of increased endorphins. Who would have thought, she says,
33:14
Speaker 2: So when we're wanting to consume it traumatic content, when
33:16
Speaker 2: we're in a low mood, our brains are essentially chasing
33:19
Speaker 2: those feel good in doorphins. And it further explains in
33:23
Speaker 2: psychologyspot dot com that these increased endorphins actually can help
33:27
Speaker 2: endure pain and the afternoonmath is that stress relief, that
33:32
Speaker 2: euphoria are calm, and how you can let it end
33:35
Speaker 2: with that movie or if you're any start the process again,
33:40
Speaker 2: go again, immediately, Let's do it again, let me do
33:45
Speaker 2: it again. And honestly, I try to find a reason
33:49
Speaker 2: a person like me actually can't emotionally take this type
33:52
Speaker 2: of pain. I remove myself pretty heavily in these shows,
33:57
Speaker 2: but I wasn't able to find something really readily available.
34:02
Speaker 2: Perhaps I'm not looking for it correctly, but I did
34:05
Speaker 2: find something that did explain a bit in relation to
34:07
Speaker 2: horror and violent movies, which I'm okay with those actually,
34:12
Speaker 2: but it felt like it kind of answered my tragic.
34:19
Speaker 3: Right, your version, yeah.
34:21
Speaker 2: My aversion to tragedy. So one of the reasons they
34:24
Speaker 2: write in High Sensitive Refuge dot Com is that being
34:27
Speaker 2: able to let go of that feeling after the film
34:30
Speaker 2: is really hard for me to do. So they say,
34:32
Speaker 2: quote HSP or highly sensitive people are and I'm not
34:36
Speaker 2: necessarily saying that I'm that, but they're just explaining these
34:38
Speaker 2: types of reactions are likely to feel the emotional effects
34:42
Speaker 2: for a long time. We may even find ourselves feeling
34:44
Speaker 2: those painful emotions years later when something reminds us of
34:48
Speaker 2: the movie we watched. Everyone else might be ready to
34:51
Speaker 2: move on to another activity, dinner after the movie, you know,
34:54
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But the HSP still feels those lingering
34:58
Speaker 2: thoughts and emotions. And I will say for many shows
35:01
Speaker 2: that I even love like that are not that are
35:04
Speaker 2: not like Sad Parks and RECU, which again is one
35:09
Speaker 2: of my comfort shows, which we're talking about a minute.
35:11
Speaker 2: I can't watch the ending of the final episode without
35:14
Speaker 2: feeling like I'm feeling abandoned or being abandoned. I do
35:17
Speaker 2: that with many many shows. I will not watch the finale.
35:21
Speaker 1: I can't.
35:22
Speaker 2: It traumatizes me when and he didn't tell me a
35:26
Speaker 2: whole world dies and everybody dies. I had to put
35:29
Speaker 2: that on Baus because.
35:30
Speaker 4: I was like, wait, no, no, you can't get me
35:34
Speaker 4: like this, because it's like watching and emotionally fraught movies
35:39
Speaker 4: like this, I feel like this emptiness, and I feel
35:43
Speaker 4: this way for hours and sometimes days, if not years,
35:46
Speaker 4: if not, like I still am haunted by Land before time.
35:51
Speaker 2: How dare you leave me in this emptiness with this
35:57
Speaker 2: dude trying to find his family. I'm gonna cry about
36:00
Speaker 2: it now, I'm thinking about it. Okay, it's not good
36:04
Speaker 2: in sad land, like they feel. If I don't like
36:08
Speaker 2: watching an emotionally fraught movie again, does that same thing
36:11
Speaker 2: I cannot let go, or of the feeling of grief.
36:14
Speaker 2: It's scarring, so I don't Again. It's not the horror movies,
36:19
Speaker 2: and not even violence. There are moments that are like
36:20
Speaker 2: I can't watch this violence if it's set in, especially
36:24
Speaker 2: if it's set in realistic scenarios, things that I may
36:28
Speaker 2: have experienced that are too similar, especially so I can't
36:34
Speaker 2: have Uh. I could never watch the Wire beg go
36:38
Speaker 2: was during the time that I was working with teenage
36:40
Speaker 2: kids in scenarios like this just in rural Georgia or
36:44
Speaker 2: like Subarbia, Georgia or Atlanta, Georgia. You know, like things
36:47
Speaker 2: like that. Just it was too close, so I would
36:50
Speaker 2: have to have people tell me, now, you can't watch that,
36:53
Speaker 2: it's gonna get you. And again I didn't find much
36:57
Speaker 2: about because they're tell giving all the Great Nations to
37:00
Speaker 2: watch sad movies and I'm like, no, thank you. How
37:05
Speaker 2: dare you that horror movie? I was like, how dare you, Annie?
37:10
Speaker 2: How dare you not tell me what was gonna happen
37:13
Speaker 2: with this good I was that one too well?
37:17
Speaker 1: I have in defense of me, I was expecting you
37:22
Speaker 1: to procrastinate and I had never seen that.
37:24
Speaker 5: Before, watched that before I got to tell her, I
37:32
Speaker 5: didn't know you were gonna have thoughts about it.
37:34
Speaker 2: And I was like, why would you do this to me?
37:36
Speaker 2: Y'all have a lot of feelings, a lot of feelings.
37:39
Speaker 2: I'm traumatized, But yeah, I find that interesting that the
37:41
Speaker 2: two different levels of like, because sometimes I do enjoy
37:44
Speaker 2: a good cry. Mmmm, it has to be really calculated.
37:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like in my group, I usually get
37:53
Speaker 1: made fun of as the one that likes angst, so
37:56
Speaker 1: it's interesting to me that there's so much research about
37:58
Speaker 1: that kind of it.
38:00
Speaker 2: Then the positive note, Yeah, it's like the positive note
38:02
Speaker 2: more than anything else.
38:03
Speaker 1: Right, I have to say though, like I don't know
38:08
Speaker 1: what the correct word for this is, but I maybe
38:12
Speaker 1: this isn't this isn't it. But I like to feel
38:15
Speaker 1: the feelings. So after like after the last of US
38:18
Speaker 1: two ends, I've played it a million times, it stays
38:22
Speaker 1: with me for like a day. Yeah, it doesn't go away,
38:27
Speaker 1: and I kind of like it's miserable, but I kind
38:30
Speaker 1: of like it because I get to sit there and
38:32
Speaker 1: be like, wow, that was real, sad.
38:35
Speaker 2: I feel like you also like to be alone, so
38:37
Speaker 2: you can really steal in it.
38:39
Speaker 3: I do because I don't.
38:41
Speaker 1: I mean, you've seen me cry, you've seen me sob
38:45
Speaker 1: but I don't like to completely let go in front
38:49
Speaker 1: of people when it comes to like let me cry
38:51
Speaker 1: in my heart out. Sometimes it does happen anyway, but
38:55
Speaker 1: I think like the hardest I ever cried at the
38:57
Speaker 1: last of US two was when right after people left, and.
39:01
Speaker 3: Then I really let it go.
39:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you do. That's the thing I was like,
39:06
Speaker 2: I know she needs to be alone when she says
39:08
Speaker 2: she's gonna have to take time alone, like, all right,
39:10
Speaker 2: she needs those moments unless you've been bulling and then
39:13
Speaker 2: you come up and be like, hey, what's going on?
39:16
Speaker 1: That was an unfortunate coworker and friend of the show
39:20
Speaker 1: have been bowling accidentally walked in when I was in
39:22
Speaker 1: the midst of my like I need to be a
39:24
Speaker 1: little cry one time.
39:27
Speaker 2: But you know, and we're not going to talk about this.
39:29
Speaker 2: We've talked about it before because we over here love
39:32
Speaker 2: some horror movies and we've talked about that. We've talked
39:33
Speaker 2: about horror tropes and all of these and how it
39:36
Speaker 2: also get those endorphins going. I do enjoy good horror movie.
39:40
Speaker 2: I definitely have to see those through because I need
39:42
Speaker 2: resolution and it can't be haunted. It will or it
39:45
Speaker 2: will haunt me just the possibilities of And then some
39:48
Speaker 2: of those movies haunt you anyway because they're just don't
39:51
Speaker 2: have conclusions or they'll make you confused. But at least
39:55
Speaker 2: I need to see the end, so I don't feel
39:56
Speaker 2: the same way about that unless it involves like killing
39:59
Speaker 2: dog are for animals, y'all do too much with that, which,
40:04
Speaker 2: by the way, I do want to hear if you
40:06
Speaker 2: go see a Good Boy Good Boy, because I'm traumatized already.
40:13
Speaker 1: I'm very interested to see that movie, which listeners, if
40:17
Speaker 1: you don't know, is a horror movie told from the
40:19
Speaker 1: point of view of the dog, so you know, like
40:23
Speaker 1: when the dog starts sparking at something and you don't
40:25
Speaker 1: see anything kind of that that whole deal. I'm very
40:28
Speaker 1: interested to see it because they have to know that
40:31
Speaker 1: if they spend a whole movie getting you to connect
40:35
Speaker 1: with this, dog.
40:37
Speaker 2: Will burn down.
40:40
Speaker 1: I just I mean maybe knock on wood. I just
40:43
Speaker 1: don't think they're gonna kill off the dog.
40:44
Speaker 2: I would. What also gives me in this though, is
40:48
Speaker 2: when I see a dog's perspective or a pet's perspective
40:51
Speaker 2: of losing a human and they're waiting for that human.
40:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah.
40:56
Speaker 2: Tune up again. I'm gonna cry an episode that has
40:59
Speaker 2: nothing to do in this episode, but also it gives
41:02
Speaker 2: me too.
41:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, now I know what you're talking about.
41:06
Speaker 1: That is miserable. That is really miserable.
41:09
Speaker 3: So I will.
41:11
Speaker 2: Report back. I probably would never will, but you will
41:15
Speaker 2: report back. But coming back to Comfort series and Comfort movies.
41:18
Speaker 2: I thought we would talk about series specifically and watching
41:20
Speaker 2: movies because we're not talking necessarily about crying all the time,
41:23
Speaker 2: because I think that is an interesting perspective of that
41:26
Speaker 2: is a way of self soothing. Is so many emotions happen,
41:29
Speaker 2: so you need an excuse to be able to connect
41:32
Speaker 2: your emotions to a fictional ideal. Uh. But also just
41:35
Speaker 2: like the use of comfort movies to calm you down,
41:39
Speaker 2: for me, I have my go to movies. I feel
41:41
Speaker 2: overwhelmeder sets again, Ratitude's always been there parts and Rex
41:45
Speaker 2: New Girls. Supernatural was there for a little while. I
41:48
Speaker 2: cannot watch the finale on that one, not because it's
41:51
Speaker 2: it leaves me, indeed it does, but also it was
41:54
Speaker 2: bad in my opinion, my opinion. But now Capop Demon
41:58
Speaker 2: Hunters has now become a part of that as well
42:01
Speaker 2: on my list. And I think these are really really
42:03
Speaker 2: like just effective and distracting. But what are your types
42:07
Speaker 2: of comfort shows that are not just for crying?
42:12
Speaker 1: Well, like comfort foods, they kind of rotate, I would say,
42:18
Speaker 1: since the pandemic, Star Wars is that's a steady that
42:22
Speaker 1: one's there, the original trilogy. Anything else outside of that, No,
42:27
Speaker 1: but the original trilogy very comforting. I know it changed
42:31
Speaker 1: the Last of Us and Last was too. Not the
42:33
Speaker 1: show the game, yeah, because I know where the game goes.
42:39
Speaker 1: I think I know where the show is going to go,
42:41
Speaker 1: but I don't know for sure. So that's kind of
42:44
Speaker 1: a level of tension that the game doesn't have for
42:48
Speaker 1: me right now. SpongeBob, it used to be how to
42:52
Speaker 1: Train Your Dragon for a while, but now it's Spongebobungebob.
42:58
Speaker 2: Interesting.
42:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm loving it. I haven't watched Bungebob in a
43:03
Speaker 1: long time, but having a grand grand ole time.
43:06
Speaker 2: Is poker Face going to be on your list?
43:09
Speaker 1: I do love poker Face. I've watched poker Face so
43:12
Speaker 1: much like Rewatch because I'm trying to like well back
43:17
Speaker 1: when I was trying to guess who it was and
43:20
Speaker 1: so the same thing happened with only murders in building.
43:22
Speaker 3: I would rewatch and rewatch and watch.
43:24
Speaker 1: I also rewatched Adolescents a ton, which I don't know
43:27
Speaker 1: what that says about me, but I guess I kind
43:30
Speaker 1: of like the the puzzle pieces and trying to figure
43:33
Speaker 1: out things that distracts me. That's a really good distraction
43:37
Speaker 1: for me.
43:38
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that makes it. That could be a whole
43:40
Speaker 2: conversation about like true crime as well. Those two going,
43:44
Speaker 2: but that's another episode that we can do. We're palling
43:47
Speaker 2: in some episodes here that I won't remember. But so
43:51
Speaker 2: why do we do this? So, according to psychology dot com,
43:53
Speaker 2: there are so many reasons. Maybe it's about reliving treasured
43:57
Speaker 2: moments or a time, so I do have those moments
44:00
Speaker 2: of like I remember watching this this time and it
44:03
Speaker 2: was a good time. I remember watching Supernatural finding something
44:07
Speaker 2: that I actually liked and was invested in and had
44:11
Speaker 2: a long time to do so, but I did it
44:12
Speaker 2: very quickly during the pandemic. Was a delight. But or
44:17
Speaker 2: it could be that it's familiar and you know what
44:19
Speaker 2: to expect, and I say that a lot. I'm like,
44:21
Speaker 2: I know, even though even if it's dramatic. So I've
44:24
Speaker 2: done this with a lot of K dramas, because K
44:26
Speaker 2: dramas just put in random murders and kidnappings for no
44:28
Speaker 2: reason in a sitcom and you're like, what is happening?
44:31
Speaker 2: I know, I can I can fast forward it because
44:32
Speaker 2: I know what's coming m hm. And so that has
44:35
Speaker 2: become a new thing for me. And there are several
44:37
Speaker 2: K dramas who are on my list too. I just
44:39
Speaker 2: didn't like it, but you know it's there, or I
44:42
Speaker 2: know when I can get up and do things without
44:44
Speaker 2: being interested in so that that it is something for me,
44:48
Speaker 2: or even what they call the mister Rogers effect, And
44:51
Speaker 2: I wanted to include this so again this is from
44:52
Speaker 2: psychology dot com because I've never heard of this, and
44:55
Speaker 2: I was like, huh, so this says again. The article
44:59
Speaker 2: is called why we watch the same shows over and
45:01
Speaker 2: over again? That's the title, and I'm like, yeah, that's
45:03
Speaker 2: about right. They say at the beginning of every show,
45:06
Speaker 2: mister Rogers went through the same routine of changing into
45:09
Speaker 2: his cardigan sweater and around the house sneakers while seeing
45:13
Speaker 2: the same reassuring words. He did this to provide the
45:16
Speaker 2: necessary stability and comfort to his young viewers. According to
45:20
Speaker 2: research by Cristelle Antonio Russell and Sidney Levy, repetition works
45:24
Speaker 2: for adults as well. Knowing what will happen bestow's order
45:28
Speaker 2: and safety, especially during times when our lives feel uncomfortable
45:32
Speaker 2: and less controlled. Mister Rogers, you really were something. Yeah,
45:39
Speaker 2: we love you, rip. And they go on to list
45:44
Speaker 2: so much more, including seeing how we've grown since we
45:47
Speaker 2: first watched this, So again that kind of like developing
45:50
Speaker 2: in the show, whether it's you're figuring that our going
45:53
Speaker 2: back to be like oh yeah, or finding something new
45:55
Speaker 2: or remember what this felt like and now I'm here
45:57
Speaker 2: a type of conversation again, not wanting to choose. I
46:03
Speaker 2: think that's an interesting one. There's too many things, and
46:05
Speaker 2: I've seen this. I don't know. I don't know what
46:06
Speaker 2: I want to want to judge. Oh never mind, I'm
46:08
Speaker 2: not gonna pick anything new. I'm not sure about this one.
46:09
Speaker 2: I'll just go back to this, right.
46:12
Speaker 3: Yeah.
46:12
Speaker 2: I guess we all do that because we're like, oh
46:14
Speaker 2: my god, what are these bad choices? It's just the
46:16
Speaker 2: remake of remake of remake anyway, that sound really crotchety
46:22
Speaker 2: just now, I hope you did okod Or maybe it's
46:26
Speaker 2: the connection you feel to the characters. And this kind
46:29
Speaker 2: of goes back to our own episodes about fandoms and
46:31
Speaker 2: parasocial relationships and fandoms and kind of like whether it's
46:35
Speaker 2: good or bad, but you do feel like you have
46:38
Speaker 2: an established relationship because you know their personality, you know
46:41
Speaker 2: them like no one else does it within the same show.
46:46
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and as I've discussed before. I can relate
46:49
Speaker 1: more easily through a fictional character that I feel like
46:52
Speaker 1: I know than I can through my own self because
46:55
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, they're so strong and if they're feeling
46:58
Speaker 1: this week, then are not weak because I know they're strong.
47:04
Speaker 1: I have all this proof and all these other characters
47:07
Speaker 1: that think so yes.
47:08
Speaker 2: And I was thinking that we could put in a
47:10
Speaker 2: moment where we talk about when we lose those characters,
47:15
Speaker 2: whether it's because the real life people or the writers
47:18
Speaker 2: or such are horrible turn out to be horrible because
47:21
Speaker 2: I used to love Glee like there, because like I
47:24
Speaker 2: love singing, and I love musicals and I love all
47:27
Speaker 2: those things. But it's so bad to me. It's like haunted,
47:32
Speaker 2: hauntingly tainted. I don't know how else to put that,
47:36
Speaker 2: But like when what happens when you lose those and
47:39
Speaker 2: what happens when you're trying to like reconnect And for
47:43
Speaker 2: some people, we know that they can separate the character
47:47
Speaker 2: from the people. I cannot do that for the life
47:51
Speaker 2: of me. If something is ruined, it is forever ruined.
47:55
Speaker 2: But we're not going to get into that. That's the
47:56
Speaker 2: whole different gigs, because like, what do you do when
47:58
Speaker 2: you're self doothing is the low soothing. That's a whole
48:02
Speaker 2: different conversation. But being able to return to my favorite
48:05
Speaker 2: characters who get into these sealy hijinks, it is comforting.
48:08
Speaker 2: It is comforting to know that their goofiness, they're over
48:11
Speaker 2: the topness, like it is able to be like, uh,
48:16
Speaker 2: you're a goofy. I like you.
48:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice, it's nice. You know it's coming.
48:20
Speaker 1: I'll laugh at the same joke I've seen a million
48:22
Speaker 1: times because I know it's coming, and I'm like, oh, yeah,
48:25
Speaker 1: that's so.
48:26
Speaker 3: I love that.
48:27
Speaker 2: And something you mentioned earlier that we're not getting into
48:29
Speaker 2: because I kind of because it's not like it is,
48:31
Speaker 2: and it isn't in my world in this level of
48:34
Speaker 2: like it should be because I do it often. It
48:35
Speaker 2: was gaming you were talking about that earlier as a
48:38
Speaker 2: form of self soothing, and whether or not it's very gendered.
48:41
Speaker 2: We already know because we talked about the world of
48:43
Speaker 2: gaming when it comes to marginalized people and how often
48:48
Speaker 2: times they are ostracized, but at the same time they
48:50
Speaker 2: make their own communities and we love it. We I
48:53
Speaker 2: do eventually need to come back and coming to have
48:55
Speaker 2: a conversation about cozy gaming and how it's kind of
49:00
Speaker 2: been so commercialized that it's being ruined by industry and
49:04
Speaker 2: not allowing for enough independent artists to come in as
49:08
Speaker 2: well as still feminizing and fantilizing what it is, and
49:15
Speaker 2: the gaming industry is doing that as well. The corporates,
49:17
Speaker 2: not necessarily the individual, but the corporations. They're like, we'll
49:20
Speaker 2: just make it a cute game that has nonsensical things.
49:22
Speaker 2: They'll be enough, which is not true that which is
49:24
Speaker 2: not what people want necessarily. Sometimes yes, most of the
49:27
Speaker 2: times no, but that's the whole thing. But what were
49:30
Speaker 2: your thoughts on using games as a self sooth?
49:38
Speaker 1: I find it incredibly self soothing. I know we've talked
49:41
Speaker 1: about it before. A lot of my friends would veheminently disagree,
49:47
Speaker 1: but I just feel like it gives me a task
49:51
Speaker 1: and I can complete it. And this is where I
49:54
Speaker 1: know a lot of people get hung up, but I
49:56
Speaker 1: feel like I'm pretty good at it, so it makes me.
50:01
Speaker 1: It distracts me, and then I have to focus on
50:04
Speaker 1: I have to kill the zombie before it kills me.
50:06
Speaker 1: It kind of takes me out of everything else because
50:11
Speaker 1: I'm legitimately a little scared and don't want to die
50:13
Speaker 1: on this game, die in this game, so I have
50:16
Speaker 1: to focus on it. And so it is a really
50:19
Speaker 1: good way of kind of turning off all of the
50:23
Speaker 1: other things that are making me panic. But also, you know,
50:26
Speaker 1: if I'm playing a good survival horror game, then you're
50:30
Speaker 1: getting that feeling of, I think, releasing some of those
50:35
Speaker 1: tensions that you have pent up. So I mean even
50:38
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I really liked it because
50:41
Speaker 1: it is something you sort of have to I think
50:44
Speaker 1: for me, it's something I have to focus on. I
50:46
Speaker 1: know some people use it in almost the opposite way,
50:48
Speaker 1: where it's like you can turn off your brain and
50:50
Speaker 1: just do do something. But I like that, like I
50:53
Speaker 1: have to focus on it, and it gives me something
50:56
Speaker 1: to do with my hands, and it gives me a
50:59
Speaker 1: sense of sadness faction, like I'm accomplishing something.
51:02
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, so because you did mention that, I was like, oh,
51:05
Speaker 2: we didn't really talk about it. And again, this probably
51:07
Speaker 2: could be a whole other episode in itself. But looking
51:10
Speaker 2: up a very well minded dot com, they talk about
51:13
Speaker 2: how video games can relieve stress and they compared it
51:16
Speaker 2: to meditative interventions. So here's what They say, one study
51:19
Speaker 2: compared the stress were living effects of playing a simple
51:22
Speaker 2: casual video game to the effects of participating in a
51:25
Speaker 2: mindfulness meditation session. Both groups experienced significant reductions and stress
51:31
Speaker 2: following the interventions. So that's really interesting to me that
51:34
Speaker 2: they actually decided, hey, what if we took two things
51:36
Speaker 2: that seemed to be opposite mm hm, you know, and
51:39
Speaker 2: because like what we think of the games and like
51:41
Speaker 2: having to do all these things, that that actually could
51:45
Speaker 2: be one and the same. In the stress reliever, they say,
51:49
Speaker 2: while participants in the mindfulness meditation group experienced a slightly
51:52
Speaker 2: greater stress relief, the researchers suggested that the effects were
51:55
Speaker 2: very similar. Given the popularity of video games, researchers suggests
51:59
Speaker 2: that these two can be effective interventions for people coping
52:02
Speaker 2: with stress. So, of course it's not gonna be one
52:05
Speaker 2: on one, it's not going to be the same, but
52:07
Speaker 2: the fact that the effects are pretty similar says a lot,
52:10
Speaker 2: because we know more people are going to see gaming
52:15
Speaker 2: as a legit activity as where meditation is crunchy, right.
52:19
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, And I mean I do it's almost
52:25
Speaker 1: hard to describe, but I do think that's true, especially
52:28
Speaker 1: if if you've got if you've played the game multiple times,
52:30
Speaker 1: then you're you just know what to do, like you're
52:34
Speaker 1: not thinking about it almost you're just doing it. And
52:38
Speaker 1: in my favorite cases, you're getting a beautiful story of
52:41
Speaker 1: while you're doing it.
52:42
Speaker 2: Yes, And then they even talk about co op games
52:45
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I could see that, but I also
52:47
Speaker 2: see the fights.
52:48
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a that's an interesting one.
52:53
Speaker 2: Stress levels. But at the same time, yeah, I can.
52:57
Speaker 3: See that one.
53:12
Speaker 2: But yeah, So with all of that, there are great
53:14
Speaker 2: benefits and these types of self soothing that we've talked
53:18
Speaker 2: about that was also negatives, so that they can be
53:21
Speaker 2: along the lines of self care, new hobbies, and can
53:24
Speaker 2: be wonderful with help of therapy like DBT or dialectical
53:27
Speaker 2: behavior therapy, which they do talk a lot about with
53:30
Speaker 2: self soothing and different other forms of therapy in general. Again,
53:34
Speaker 2: and we're not talking necessarily about stemming or fidget toys,
53:37
Speaker 2: which have now been put into practice for many people
53:41
Speaker 2: with maybe ADHD, autism, bipolar, any of these things. They
53:45
Speaker 2: are really useful and it actually can be really helpful
53:50
Speaker 2: for specific timing. So they had this example from positive
53:54
Speaker 2: psychology dot Com of something that happened during the pandemic
53:58
Speaker 2: because people weren't able to get hugs. So they write
54:01
Speaker 2: they found that both self soothing touch in the study,
54:03
Speaker 2: most participants choose to place their right hand on their
54:06
Speaker 2: heart and their left hand on their abdomen while focusing
54:09
Speaker 2: on the rising and falling of breathing and receiving a
54:12
Speaker 2: hug from another person were equally effective at lowering stress levels. Therefore,
54:18
Speaker 2: when other people are not available to hug, self soothing
54:21
Speaker 2: touch could be a source of much needed comfort and reassurance.
54:24
Speaker 2: And then there's also this conversation about the butterfly hug
54:28
Speaker 2: and then also being a burrito.
54:31
Speaker 3: I've heard of that one burrita.
54:32
Speaker 2: Like it, but like they were using this during a
54:34
Speaker 2: time where people really felt like they were missing out,
54:37
Speaker 2: and how it could be really really helpful in these
54:39
Speaker 2: like interesting, very very typical touch methods, breathing methods and
54:46
Speaker 2: helping you to cope through not being able to have
54:48
Speaker 2: physical touch, which some people need. Yeah, well, you know
54:52
Speaker 2: what I think everyone needs, just some people that need
54:55
Speaker 2: it a lot more.
54:55
Speaker 1: Excessive, right, yeah, or just needed a lot more so.
55:00
Speaker 2: I said excessively. I guess you know where I land.
55:03
Speaker 2: But again, with all of that, there can be downsides
55:07
Speaker 2: when we talk about self clothing, as we talked about
55:09
Speaker 2: earlier and many times throughout that the beginning of these
55:12
Speaker 2: habits can be borderline addictive obsessive, such as the unhealthy
55:17
Speaker 2: eating habits, drug and alcohol consumption. Calming yourself so like
55:22
Speaker 2: being able to stem, is great, but if it goes
55:24
Speaker 2: excessive to truly harming yourself, that's a whole different level
55:28
Speaker 2: as well. And there are several groups who have recommended toolkits,
55:32
Speaker 2: an actual toolkit that you can get, or you can
55:35
Speaker 2: create yourself, or you can get with the help of
55:37
Speaker 2: a therapist that helps self soothe. And here's the suggestion
55:41
Speaker 2: from University of Miami. They say one way to require
55:44
Speaker 2: self soothing skills is to create a toolkit. The box
55:47
Speaker 2: might include objects or reminders of how to soothe all
55:51
Speaker 2: five senses. Comforting smells such as scented candles, essential oils
55:56
Speaker 2: or body loution, pleasant tastes such as herbal teas or
55:59
Speaker 2: favorite snacks. Soothing things to touch such as favorite sweaters,
56:02
Speaker 2: rap or stress ball, comforting sites such as photos of
56:06
Speaker 2: loved ones, pets, or favorite places. And soothing sounds as
56:10
Speaker 2: a favorite piece of music or guided meditation track. When
56:13
Speaker 2: I was getting really really isolated and getting filling antsy
56:19
Speaker 2: because I was stuck in the house during the pandemic,
56:21
Speaker 2: like we couldn't go anywhere. I was like, I would
56:23
Speaker 2: actually turn on videos of scenic views with bubbling brooks,
56:28
Speaker 2: very loudly with a window open, Like I had to
56:32
Speaker 2: do that for myself because I was going to start crazy.
56:34
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
56:38
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I remember I read something during the
56:42
Speaker 1: pandemic which was like, if you're an extrovert, because everybody
56:46
Speaker 1: was worried about those extroverts during the pandemic, turn on
56:51
Speaker 1: put on photos of what you used to do.
56:53
Speaker 3: That was mistake.
56:54
Speaker 1: But what I would say word for me was I
56:59
Speaker 1: like I would put on like a background, yeah, and
57:04
Speaker 1: I would put on new music.
57:06
Speaker 3: I loved that, and I would try to like make
57:10
Speaker 3: new foods. So I do think, like, I.
57:15
Speaker 1: Think this is a great idea, but also tailor it
57:17
Speaker 1: to yourself, because I think there are some ways that
57:20
Speaker 1: I remember looking at pictures of me and my friends
57:23
Speaker 1: and just being like this is not I'm just sad
57:25
Speaker 1: I can't see them right.
57:28
Speaker 2: Someone that does not do well. It's kind of like
57:32
Speaker 2: when I want to plan for a trip, and I'm like,
57:33
Speaker 2: I want to go to these places and they're like
57:35
Speaker 2: I can't.
57:36
Speaker 5: Yeah, And obviously it's different now we're not in a pandemic,
57:39
Speaker 5: so I can go see my friends. It doesn't have
57:42
Speaker 5: the same weight of being like I can't see them
57:44
Speaker 5: right now. But yeah, definitely take it, tailor it to
57:47
Speaker 5: your what you need.
57:48
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah. And there are some other suggestions that they
57:51
Speaker 2: give you from wondermind dot com in which they say,
57:55
Speaker 2: make breathing a thing. So we've talked about box breathing,
57:58
Speaker 2: different techniques and breathing. For me, sometimes breathing too much
58:01
Speaker 2: as me panic attack. So I don't do that necessarily.
58:04
Speaker 2: I just take one very deep breath and sigh and
58:07
Speaker 2: do that weird mummy groan which Annie used to make
58:09
Speaker 2: fun of before. Yeah, I still do it sometimes. It
58:12
Speaker 2: came out recently and I forgot take a walk mission.
58:15
Speaker 2: So they talked about like finding places to go. She
58:19
Speaker 2: specifically talks about getting yourself, like go find a flower,
58:22
Speaker 2: go get to this thing, or walk to this part
58:24
Speaker 2: to get a snack or something. Do it safely. Of
58:26
Speaker 2: course again blanket burrito mode, I love that. I'd like,
58:32
Speaker 2: I don't like that because I don't like to be suffocated,
58:34
Speaker 2: but a lot of people need that space. So you know,
58:38
Speaker 2: I have you screamed burrito me before when I felt
58:41
Speaker 2: like I was too anxious and so he would just
58:43
Speaker 2: roll me up in a blanket. That's weird, isn't it.
58:46
Speaker 2: That's a weird comment, But you know it worked.
58:49
Speaker 3: You know what.
58:49
Speaker 1: I saw somebody do this at dragon Con. We've talked
58:52
Speaker 1: about how Dragon Con can be overwhelming, and I saw
58:57
Speaker 1: we saw somebody assuming this is what she was doing, but.
59:02
Speaker 5: She just wrapped herself up in a blanket like a burrito.
59:06
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, she needs a moment.
59:07
Speaker 2: She needs a moment a little buddy, and they talk
59:11
Speaker 2: about like move in whatever way feels good to you, dance,
59:14
Speaker 2: don't dance, jump, scream, roll out. Sometimes a good scream
59:17
Speaker 2: is nice. Do something mindless, a puzzle. A puzzle is
59:21
Speaker 2: really great, like really've gotten into those lately. There's so
59:25
Speaker 2: many things that.
59:26
Speaker 3: You could do.
59:27
Speaker 2: And once again, there is the plus and there is
59:30
Speaker 2: the negative, in which you have to be aware that
59:34
Speaker 2: any extreme can be dangerous, and sometimes being too isolated
59:39
Speaker 2: is dangerous. Yep, they say it's a look upon to space.
59:44
Speaker 2: Obviously there's a lot to this conversation, and I did,
59:47
Speaker 2: like I said, interchange the terms of like comfort habits,
59:51
Speaker 2: which doesn't exist. I made that one up apparently, and
59:53
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, well it should be. But anyway,
59:56
Speaker 2: comfort habits and self soothing get it could such a
1:00:00
Speaker 2: big conversation when to talk about what that looks like,
1:00:03
Speaker 2: what could be dangerous for some people? Taking a walk
1:00:04
Speaker 2: could be dangerous for some people. Running we know can
1:00:07
Speaker 2: be dangerous for groups of people, but we're not necessarily
1:00:12
Speaker 2: focused on that. But again, these are so many subjects
1:00:15
Speaker 2: that we could talk to. Don't worry, I'm sure we're
1:00:18
Speaker 2: going to revisit some of these specific topics at hand.
1:00:22
Speaker 2: And of course we would love to hear about your
1:00:24
Speaker 2: comfort habits. What do you do? What are your comfort foods?
1:00:27
Speaker 2: Have you gotten into making sourdough? Do you love sourdough bread?
1:00:30
Speaker 2: Someone tell me how to make a sourdough mix?
1:00:35
Speaker 1: Please, someone tell Samantha to do it, because then I
1:00:38
Speaker 1: get to try some hopefully, Yes, listeners, we would love
1:00:44
Speaker 1: to hear from you about this. You can email us
1:00:46
Speaker 1: at Hello at stuff Onnever Told You dot com. You
1:00:49
Speaker 1: can also find us on blue Sky. I'm a stuff
1:00:51
Speaker 1: podcasts on Instagram and TikTok at Stuff One Never Told You.
1:00:54
Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. We have a new place to
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Speaker 1: get merch Cotton Bureau, and we have a book you
1:00:59
Speaker 1: can get wherever you get your books. Thanks as always
1:01:01
Speaker 1: to our super producer Christina, Executive us TO and a
1:01:04
Speaker 1: contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening
1:01:07
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