Latest / How To Talk To Humans / Why Clarity Beats Passion in Communication & Leadership

Transcript

Why Clarity Beats Passion in Communication & Leadership · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:02
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is How to Talk to Humans.
• 0:07
  Larry Wilson: This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills.
• 0:13
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to get a better job?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship?
• 0:17
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far?
• 0:24
  Larry Wilson: I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with humans.
• 0:30
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrial, this is not the show for you.
• 0:36
  Larry Wilson: But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned from 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world, and their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:54
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:09
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson.
• 1:11
  Larry Wilson: Thanks again for joining me for another episode of How to Talk to Humans.
• 1:17
  Larry Wilson: Perhaps some of you have noticed how contentious the times we live in have become.
• 1:26
  Larry Wilson: It seems as if people can't really agree on anything.
• 1:32
  Larry Wilson: I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
• 1:36
  Larry Wilson: It's a strange time to be living through, where no one seems to have a mild opinion about anything.
• 1:48
  Larry Wilson: Everything is very, very polarizing.
• 1:53
  Larry Wilson: And sometimes it seems as if people are almost spoiling for a fight.
• 2:01
  Larry Wilson: I don't know if that's true, but it sometimes seems that way.
• 2:05
  Larry Wilson: And sometimes I'll hear people I go to great lengths here to point out again that I'm not really interested in politics at all.
• 2:18
  Larry Wilson: But I'm always interested in communication skills.
• 2:22
  Larry Wilson: And so I frequently will watch people who are political candidates for all parties just because I'm interested to see how they present themselves, how they present their ideas.
• 2:37
  Larry Wilson: And it is shocking, of course, so many of them are such poor communicators.
• 2:46
  Larry Wilson: It makes you wonder how they got as far as they did.
• 2:49
  Larry Wilson: And that's perhaps a topic for another show.
• 2:53
  Larry Wilson: I don't, like I say, it's not my bailiwick, it's not my wheelhouse, it's not my expertise about that.
• 3:01
  Larry Wilson: But sometimes I'll see people who are very impassioned.
• 3:05
  Larry Wilson: Uh they have a point they want to make, and they're they're really feeling strong feelings about it.
• 3:13
  Larry Wilson: And I'm surprised.
• 3:17
  Larry Wilson: This is not, of course, just uh relegated to politics, but I think of it, you see a lot of this with politics, where they're really worked up about something.
• 3:27
  Larry Wilson: And I'll think, you know what?
• 3:29
  Larry Wilson: I can't for the life of me understand what the point is you're trying to make.
• 3:37
  Larry Wilson: I can tell you feel strongly about it.
• 3:39
  Larry Wilson: Now, maybe to make this more relatable, I'm sure everyone listening here has had this experience in their personal life.
• 3:50
  Larry Wilson: Maybe it was a friend or a family member or a coworker, and there was something they were heated up about, but you couldn't quite tell what it was their main goal.
• 4:07
  Larry Wilson: I see, of course, through this lens of Wilson method communications skills.
• 4:15
  Larry Wilson: I'm looking at it thinking, well, their emotions are real and their emotions are strong, but they have not determined what their goal is in communication.
• 4:32
  Larry Wilson: And I think it's absolutely essential.
• 4:37
  Larry Wilson: I think it is mission critical to determine.
• 4:41
  Larry Wilson: Now, I I don't mean to suggest when you sit down at a diner, you have to go through this whole process before you decide, do I want a cheeseburger or just regular burger with no cheese?
• 4:53
  Larry Wilson: I I think you can handle that one on the fly.
• 4:57
  Larry Wilson: But in serious things, if you're making a speech, if you're making a proposal, a presentation, if you're asking for a raise, if you're in a job interview, uh, if you're mediating uh quarrels between your children and your family.
• 5:18
  Larry Wilson: In any of these communications, I think it is mission critical to determine what your goal is.
• 5:29
  Larry Wilson: Maybe it's so obvious that you think I don't need to do this.
• 5:33
  Larry Wilson: Well, maybe not, but it can't hurt you to do it.
• 5:37
  Larry Wilson: And in fact, the process of thinking about it and determining clearly can focus your attention so acutely that your communication will be taken to a much higher level with much greater success and and much greater power in your communication.
• 6:03
  Larry Wilson: Now, there are people I've met in my life who uh I, you know, I say this like it's just me.
• 6:10
  Larry Wilson: It's not me, it's everywhere.
• 6:13
  Larry Wilson: People think, oh, I'll just wing it.
• 6:17
  Larry Wilson: I don't need to think about what my goal is.
• 6:20
  Larry Wilson: Uh I have some vague idea, you know.
• 6:22
  Larry Wilson: I have a number, there's a number of different things I want to touch on.
• 6:26
  Larry Wilson: I'm just gonna shoot from the hip.
• 6:28
  Larry Wilson: Well, uh, people who shoot from the hip are gunslingers, and gunslingers die young.
• 6:37
  Larry Wilson: I think it would do well for you to keep that in mind.
• 6:41
  Larry Wilson: I don't want you to die.
• 6:44
  Larry Wilson: I want you to live a life of great abundance, and it's very easy to do if your communication skills are above average.
• 6:59
  Larry Wilson: I think that's the Rubicon that you have to cross if you really want to have a different kind of life.
• 7:10
  Larry Wilson: And frequently I'll see people, whether it's a impassioned speech or an argument or whatever the case may be, they feel that their emotion, their passion is so great that that should be adequate for the task.
• 7:31
  Larry Wilson: I'm here to tell you unequivocally that they are not correct, that your passion is very important, and I think it's a very valuable tool to employ.
• 7:50
  Larry Wilson: I think that it allows us to see your real feelings, and that helps us to connect with you, and it shows us your authentic self, which I think is extremely valuable.
• 8:08
  Larry Wilson: But your passion is not a substitute for clarity, and in Wilson Method Training, I always emphasize that our ultimate goal is clarity.
• 8:28
  Larry Wilson: But we want to be able to communicate so clearly that it is almost impossible to misunderstand you.
• 8:41
  Larry Wilson: Doesn't mean someone will agree with you, but they certainly can't go away saying, I don't know what that was about.
• 8:49
  Larry Wilson: They may not like it.
• 8:51
  Larry Wilson: That happens all the time.
• 8:53
  Larry Wilson: But you'll also find that when you're clear, when your message is clear, sometimes people who disagree with you may wind up respecting you.
• 9:06
  Larry Wilson: They may feel a begrudging sense of, well, that's not the way I feel, but that person really expressed themselves in a way that I could understand.
• 9:23
  Larry Wilson: That's I think the best we can ever hope for.
• 9:27
  Larry Wilson: And you can see this examples around you all the time.
• 9:33
  Larry Wilson: But the point that I think is perhaps the my main focus here is that do not let your passion, it could be positive, you could be so excited about something you've seen or read or heard or you're involved with developing or creating, or it could be negative, could be something you're angry about, or something you disapprove of, or something whatever the case is, I want you to be able to use that not to let it take over your entire communication, because more times than not, it clouds the issue.
• 10:26
  Larry Wilson: And we're left feeling, well, I know that person's upset or excited or whatever they get, but I don't know what they want.
• 10:36
  Larry Wilson: I want you to always be clear about what your goal is, so that you can deliver your message and do it in a way that makes the recipient of your communication feel like you really see them, you really hear them.
• 11:01
  Larry Wilson: This raises the potential for you to get what you want off the charts.
• 11:12
  Larry Wilson: It puts you in a position that's so much stronger, not because you're trying to trick someone or you're trying to persuade them or you're trying to bully them or anything like that.
• 11:25
  Larry Wilson: You're letting them see your authentic self while you're focused on a very specific goal.
• 11:35
  Larry Wilson: This is again, this is highly advanced technique.
• 11:40
  Larry Wilson: But again, it's just a process of repetition, of it begins with you focusing on your goal.
• 11:50
  Larry Wilson: And if you do this on a daily basis, if you think about this, it could be once a day.
• 11:57
  Larry Wilson: Maybe you're required to go in and make a special report to a team that you work with, or maybe you're supposed to speak to your kids.
• 12:09
  Larry Wilson: Maybe you're divorced and you and your spouse alternate custody of your children.
• 12:16
  Larry Wilson: This obviously can be a highly charged situation with a lot of strong feelings and great opportunities for misunderstanding.
• 12:27
  Larry Wilson: The clearer you are about your goal, the more likely you are to achieve them almost effortlessly.
• 12:37
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson.
• 12:39
  Larry Wilson: I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 12:45
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com.
• 12:50
  Larry Wilson: There's a ton of stuff there.
• 12:53
  Larry Wilson: Ah, if you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human.
• 12:59
  Larry Wilson: Send me an email at info at wilsonmethod.com because I read every single one.
• 13:08
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey.
• 13:14
  Larry Wilson: And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to Human.