Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / Breaking Patterns, Finding Freedom

Transcript

Breaking Patterns, Finding Freedom · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way podcast.
0:33
Cassandra: And for my new listeners out there, that's actually the title of my book, Is Your Way in Your Way.
0:40
Cassandra: And I just want my also my listeners, new listeners again to know that I am a transformational lifestyle mentor that empowers purpose-driven women who look good on the outside, but on the inside, things aren't working too well.
1:00
Cassandra: You're stuck, you're burnt out.
1:03
Cassandra: Um, you know within your heart there's something else you should be doing, but you can't.
1:08
Cassandra: And then what I do is support them moving forward with confidence, fulfillment, meaningful purpose, and greater clarity.
1:16
Cassandra: And I always like to talk about topics related to personal improvement, um, empowerment.
1:26
Cassandra: So I always pray that one of these podcasts will enable you to make a decision to say, you know what, I'm ready to move forward, I'm ready to do and live my best life on my terms.
1:44
Cassandra: And probably one of these will help you figure out what that best life looks at, looks like.
1:50
Cassandra: So today, our topic is called human experience versus the soul lesson.
1:56
Cassandra: And our guest today is Kerie Logan.
2:00
Cassandra: Hi, Carrie.
2:01
Cassandra: Good to have you as my guest.
2:06
Kerie: Yes, thank you for having me.
2:07
Kerie: I'm really excited to be here.
2:09
Cassandra: Yeah, and let me I want to ask my audience this what if the patterns keeping you stuck didn't start with you and could finally be broken.
2:22
Cassandra: So, in this episode, we're gonna uncover how trauma, generational wounds, and even past lives can shape your reality and how healing them can unlock the freedom for you to live your best life.
2:40
Cassandra: And so, Carrie and I have a lot of similarities.
2:43
Cassandra: She recognizes and releases the barriers of individual, the wounds of those limiting beliefs, and she also empowers individuals to stop being in their own way.
2:53
Cassandra: So imagine that how we connect it.
2:56
Cassandra: Uh, Carrie, before we get started, I'd like to read your bio so that my listeners will understand why you are so qualified to talk about what we're going to talk about.
3:09
Cassandra: Carrie is a human consciousness guide with over 20 years of experience helping people heal from trauma, break free from limiting patterns, and step into a greater clarity and self-realization.
3:24
Cassandra: She's an author, a certified clinical hypnotherapist, and most of the and the hosts of the Undetected Narcissist Podcast.
3:36
Cassandra: She brings deep, deep expertise in trauma and form healing, um, hypnotherapy, and spiritual growth.
3:44
Cassandra: Through her work, she guides clients worldwide to silence that inner critic and heal generational wounds and embrace a life rooted in resilience, faith, and higher consciousness?
3:59
Cassandra: Wow.
4:00
Cassandra: Wow, this is gonna be a kind of what I'm gonna call a heavy conversation, listeners.
4:05
Cassandra: Uh, Carrie, what what was there anything in your backstory that was a trigger for what you've been doing for 20 years?
4:17
Cassandra: Why why are you doing what you're doing?
4:19
Cassandra: What happened in your backstory for you to start doing this type of work?
4:23
Cassandra: Supporting people with mental health concerns?
4:27
Kerie: Well, I would have to say if you went to a backstory, I I did not grow up in a home that was very loving and supportive.
4:39
Kerie: I grew up in a home that was there was trauma bonds.
4:42
Kerie: There um I grew up with a um vulnerable narcissist father.
4:48
Kerie: Most common is you know the mother, but no, it was the father, and witnessed domestic violence.
4:56
Kerie: Um, and so I wanted to understand people better.
5:03
Kerie: I could not understand why people would treat people the way that they did.
5:08
Kerie: And I've always had this like wired in me of morals, values, and ethics, you know, integrity.
5:16
Kerie: It's been my core thing, and I firmly believe in treating people the way that you want to be treated, and so having that background and upbringing is so so amusing for me.
5:28
Kerie: It's kind of like I was I was the square peg in a round circle home, and I did not fit in.
5:37
Kerie: And I realized that I was the chain breaker, and I have been told by various family members, you're the first person that's gonna break the cycle of abuse, you know, and I was made fun of by family members that you're the black sheep, and now I'm darn proud to be the black sheep, right?
5:56
Kerie: You know, with what I've done and all the things that I've achieved.
6:01
Kerie: And I since I did have a pattern of narcissism in my family, I ended up gravitating towards a narcissistic person, and that's the hard part, is um, we don't understand why, why you know we have this dynamics, but it's really the way our nervous system was wired in our environment that makes us gravitate towards those people.
6:28
Kerie: You know, we're wired for the chaos.
6:31
Kerie: So when you meet someone that's nice, yeah, you find them boring, they're not exciting, they're boring.
6:39
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
6:39
Kerie: And that's because your nervous system got used to the dynamics of the hot and cold, push and pull, you know, passion over pain, you know, all of that.
6:49
Kerie: And so I have broken that down in some podcast episodes about, you know, toxic relationships, what they don't tell you.
6:59
Kerie: I talk about intermittent validation and why it feels like a death when you try to leave them.
7:06
Kerie: I want people to understand all these things without the shame, without the humiliation, because people will immediately judge you and say, Well, how could you fall for someone like that?
7:18
Kerie: You know, how and that's a shame comment right there.
7:23
Kerie: That's them judging you.
7:24
Kerie: But the thing is, is I always say those people in your lives are your greatest teachers.
7:31
Cassandra: Yeah.
7:31
Kerie: Because they're here to teach you self-respect, setting healthy boundaries, speaking your truth, and you know, and believing in yourself and knowing that you deserve something more, you deserve something better.
7:47
Kerie: And I I mean, I didn't know what love bombing was.
7:51
Kerie: I didn't know the cycles that narcissistic people have.
7:55
Kerie: And in my recovery process, yeah, I did develop PTSD, I I couldn't find anyone that came from my perspective.
8:07
Kerie: Because my perspective is forgiveness, understanding, compassion, love, and everyone that I was listening to was hate, anger, fear, hate, anger, fear.
8:20
Kerie: And I know when you try to heal, you can't heal from that perspective.
8:25
Kerie: You're gonna stay stuck in fear, you're gonna stay stuck in anger, and you're not gonna understand why.
8:32
Kerie: Why did I gravitate towards this person?
8:35
Kerie: Why were they, why did they show up in my life?
8:39
Kerie: And so, and what's fascinating is one night I was lying in bed, and if you want to call it God or higher spirit, something said to me, Do you know you humans create narcissistic people?
8:52
Kerie: And I was like, Really?
8:55
Kerie: And I was told, look it up, and I did, I looked it up, and they are by three parenting types an authoritarian parent, an absent parent, and neglectful parent.
9:07
Kerie: Then they can be that way by bullying, child abuse, and trauma.
9:11
Kerie: So even if someone experiences trauma, yeah, can become temporarily narcissistic because you're stuck in your survival brain, your lizard brain, and we are wired to survive.
9:25
Kerie: So I tell people when you have PTSD, you can be temporarily narcissistic because you're trying to protect yourself, right?
9:35
Cassandra: Survival mode.
9:36
Cassandra: Survival mode.
9:38
Kerie: There's no shame about that, it's only temporary, only temporary.
9:42
Kerie: And I've worked with people that you know have narcissism and are temporarily narcissistic, and they all thank me because who wants to work with someone where immediately you know they're that way, and they're gonna judge you and they're gonna hate you, and and they're gonna stick a label on you.
10:00
Kerie: And I'm like, no, I'm here to help you heal, I'm here to help you better understand yourself and why you are the way that you are, so you don't stay stuck, so you're not still stuck in your way.
10:14
Kerie: I want to give you the tools and wisdom to you know look at it from a higher perspective.
10:22
Cassandra: Okay, Carrie, let me ask you.
10:25
Cassandra: Um, you had a professional and personal journey with self-discovery and self-realization.
10:33
Cassandra: So tell us some of the stories about your journey of that personal, professional journey.
10:41
Cassandra: You talked a little bit about it, your background, your backstory, and that was the beginning, perhaps, of you doing the work that you're currently doing because you wanted to understand why people are like they are.
11:18
Cassandra: Um, like who would want to abuse, who would want to hurt, especially if you love me?
11:23
Cassandra: What is love, you know?
11:24
Cassandra: Right.
11:25
Cassandra: Um, yeah, so kind of share some of those uh that journey, some stories.
11:33
Kerie: Well, I have so many different, I mean, there's so many stories.
11:38
Cassandra: Um in regards to the listeners, like these listeners that are stuck.
11:45
Cassandra: So they're thinking, well, did I have some narcissism in my background?
11:48
Cassandra: Did I have trauma?
11:50
Cassandra: You know, and and I believe we all have some type of trauma to certain to a certain degree.
11:56
Cassandra: So oh yeah, yeah.
11:58
Cassandra: So I'm just curious to some stories that could rel my listeners could relate a little bit because they are stuff that they burn out, they they look great on the outside, but on the inside it is just not good.
12:14
Cassandra: It's not good at all.
12:16
Cassandra: Um, so do you know have any a couple stories that yeah, okay.
12:23
Cassandra: So as
12:26
Kerie: I kind of shared earlier, my son has autism, he has ADHD, he has uh PDA, which is pathological demand avoidance.
12:36
Kerie: And the hard part about that is PDA is not in the DSM V.
12:41
Kerie: And I think it should be, it's under the umbrella of autism, but it's not, and PDA is pathological demand avoidance, and how that happens, and this is my hypothesis.
12:55
Kerie: Um, I don't, I mean, I'm not, you know, a counselor or a psychiatrist or psychologist, but this is my hypothesis, is it is formed out of trauma because everyone that I've interviewed and spoke to that had PDA when I was trying to learn about it did agree it was all trauma-based.
13:17
Cassandra: And what happens is I'm sorry, PDA is what demand, what is that?
13:24
Kerie: P pathological demand avoidance.
13:28
Kerie: Okay, all right, and actually, my husband thinks he has PDA also because he doesn't like being told what to do, and my husband is on the spectrum, he has Asperger's, which is interesting.
13:41
Kerie: Yeah, a very high-functioning man um was uh chief financial officer, is retired, so I mean you can have you know good jobs at that.
13:52
Kerie: Um but where I was getting at is when the story about when a person has PDA, they will mask, and a child that has PDA will mask and pretend that everything is fine, and then when he goes back to the uh he'll be he'll pretend everything is fine with the abuser, but when he goes back to the home where it's nurturing and caring, they fall apart.
14:22
Kerie: They literally because it's safe, they can fall apart, they can express themselves, they can say what's going on.
14:29
Kerie: And I was dragged into court.
14:32
Kerie: I literally was dragged into court and I was blamed for all of my child's behaviors at school, all of them, and all of his behaviors were trauma-driven, and and he and basically, long story short, I the judge believed him.
14:51
Kerie: The judge believed that if our child that had autism lived with his custodial parent, then all his behaviors would go away, all of it.
15:00
Kerie: She believed that, and I was told that that's basically uh it would what happened to us was a crime because um it doesn't work that way.
15:12
Kerie: And the the attorneys and the judges were not trauma-informed, and so I lost custody of my son for eight months, and that traumatized me.
15:23
Kerie: It completely traumatized him, and not until we discovered what was going on could we really help him.
15:34
Kerie: But here's the important thing is when we went back to court eight months later, he confessed to the judge that you know, I damaged this child.
15:44
Kerie: This child should live with this mother, and and um, and I'm returning him to her care.
15:50
Kerie: And when he returned him back to me, he was a complete mess.
15:55
Kerie: He was having nightmares, he was waking up vomiting, he had extreme anxiety, it turned into complex PTSD.
16:02
Kerie: He even tried to take his own life, he even tried to kill his father because he was so mad, so mad, and he realized, and this sounds horrible to say, he realized that he made a mistake because he was masking and pretending that everything was fine, so he would avoid being beaten, avoid being punished.
16:25
Kerie: Okay, and nobody knew about that, and that was a really deep, hard story.
16:31
Kerie: Okay, because I I I couldn't help him.
16:36
Kerie: I I couldn't, I I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't tell him you need to act out at your dad's house, you need to, you know, be yourself, you need to, but then it's like how can you tell someone to do that when they're afraid to be abused?
16:52
Cassandra: Right, right.
16:53
Cassandra: So you uh go ahead.
16:55
Cassandra: I'm sorry.
16:56
Kerie: So it was really a hard, hard experience, and and I know how it feels to be hopeless and stuck, and I had to create a mantra for myself to just get up every day and function.
17:10
Kerie: Um, and the mantra was that this is only temporary, this is only temporary, and only something good can come from this.
17:19
Kerie: And that was really important for me to keep my sanity to know that this wasn't a life sentence, that something good was gonna come from this.
17:30
Kerie: And that's really where a lot of my faith had to come in and to really, really pray that that that there was a reason and there was a purpose for all of this.
17:45
Kerie: I didn't know what it was, but based off of that experience, it motivated me to create the undetected narcissist.
17:56
Kerie: It motivated me to write the book of our story to protect children and to save lives and to not let this happen to other families.
18:05
Kerie: And it motivated me to just help people understand why I was in this situation, why did I fall for this person?
18:18
Kerie: What were the mistakes that I made so someone did not go through those same footsteps?
18:24
Cassandra: Right.
18:25
Kerie: And and that that was the second book that I wrote.
18:28
Kerie: And it's it's not an easy read, but I tell people you need to know the the the rules of engagement because when you're dealing with someone narcissistic, it is a game because they gaslight you, they blame shift, they stonewall you, they bait you, they provoke you.
18:47
Kerie: I mean, there's all these, you know, I call it they're not adulting, it's really immature games that they they're they are playing, and it destroys people's lives.
18:59
Cassandra: Yes, and and you know, um uh one of the things that I am observing and hearing you say how critical being aware of things.
19:16
Cassandra: Yes, awareness is critical.
19:18
Cassandra: It's no different than an alcoholic, drug addict.
19:20
Cassandra: You first of all, yeah, I'm I'm an addict.
19:23
Cassandra: Yeah, I'm gonna help.
19:25
Cassandra: Like, yeah, you know, you have to be aware, recognize what's going on.
19:30
Cassandra: And you even said something about how you even attract because that's how you grew up, yes, right?
19:36
Cassandra: And that's probably why you have a lot of modalities, like from trauma, grief, shadow work, um, um, timeline therapy, past lives, lives between lives, you know, because you're dealing with so many different things, and it's all coming from the experiences that you've had.
19:57
Cassandra: And what I find fascinating is that you birthed a child with what he is going through, even though you said it's only temporary, you're getting through this.
20:12
Cassandra: Um, and we talked a little bit about before the show about fear.
20:16
Cassandra: Like, you know, it's like so you're facing your fears, you know, based on because you're learning and you're growing, and then you started talking about the 3D, 4D, and 5D of human consciousness.
20:27
Cassandra: But before we talk about the Ds, talk a little bit about consciousness, human consciousness, like we have human experience versus the soul experience.
20:38
Cassandra: So, lesson, what tell me about the human consciousness, and then get into that three or four, that five D.
20:48
Kerie: Yeah.
20:48
Kerie: So let me give you a good example.
20:50
Kerie: And I'll uh the best example I can give is when someone gets angry, what do we all tell them?
20:57
Kerie: Calm down, get grounded, balanced, and centered, because we all know that if you try to solve a problem coming from a mindset of anger, you're gonna sabotage yourself, it's not gonna go the way that you want, and you're gonna follow all the way down into shame and embarrassment, and you're gonna regret it.
21:17
Kerie: You really are gonna have guilt, regret, remorse, and shame.
21:20
Kerie: And so those traits are an aspect of 3D human consciousness.
21:26
Kerie: All of us have all of our thoughts and emotions do have a vibrational set point.
21:33
Kerie: Okay, we are energetic beings, and we live in a world full of energy, vibration, and frequency.
21:41
Kerie: We're energetic beings, and another good example is when we fall in love, we glow, we are so bright, we are so joyful, everyone sees it on our face, on our body.
21:56
Kerie: We are magnetic and we're in love.
21:59
Kerie: That is a 5D frequency state and emotion.
22:03
Kerie: And the thing is, is when it's love, a lot of times it's unconditional love.
22:09
Kerie: You just love everything about that person, you love their flaws, you love their quirks, you love everything about them.
22:18
Kerie: You really, really do.
22:20
Kerie: You know, you can't see anything wrong in that person, and and you accept them a hundred percent for who they are.
22:27
Kerie: And that's love, okay?
22:29
Kerie: And that's a 5D trait.
22:31
Kerie: So when we tell a person to get grounded, balanced, and centered when they're angry, we're asking them to rise up out of the 3D mindset and into a higher state of consciousness to Where they can solve problems.
22:48
Kerie: So that frequency range you're asking them to get to is the vibration of 250.
22:55
Kerie: It's where you have inner confidence, you're adaptable, you can solve your problems, you can let the little things go, you're unattached to outcomes, and you feel like you belong.
23:07
Kerie: You literally rise above things, and you know, you you're realistic because when you're stuck in anger, you're not making realistic choices.
23:17
Kerie: I mean, you're you're you're angry, you're pissed off.
23:20
Kerie: You really do need to get up to a higher state of consciousness to make a positive change, and that's 4D.
23:29
Cassandra: Is that 4D?
23:30
Kerie: That is 4D.
23:31
Kerie: And these images actually are free on the website Master the Upper Rooms.
23:37
Kerie: It looks like this.
23:38
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
23:39
Kerie: So this one is like 3D human consciousness.
23:43
Cassandra: Okay.
23:43
Kerie: And then this one here is 4D.
23:46
Kerie: And then there's another one that breaks down all of 5D.
23:52
Cassandra: And the 5D is the love, the unconditional love?
23:55
Kerie: The very first one of 5D human consciousness is love, and that vibrates at the frequency of 500.
24:02
Kerie: Okay.
24:03
Cassandra: Okay.
24:03
Cassandra: And what's the 4D?
24:05
Kerie: The 4D is the range between 200 to 400.
24:10
Kerie: So the first step is courage.
24:13
Kerie: That's the very first step is the courage to do something differently.
24:17
Kerie: It's where you're curious.
24:19
Kerie: You have you where everyone's included.
24:23
Kerie: You are productive.
24:24
Kerie: People call them a hero.
24:26
Kerie: We call them warriors, people that have courage, you know, where I'm going to get out of adversity.
24:30
Kerie: I'm going to stand up out of fear.
24:32
Kerie: You know, that's courage.
24:34
Kerie: You have creative thoughts and you seek connections and you're goal-oriented.
24:40
Kerie: A 250 is the one where you're grounded, balanced, centered, comfortable.
24:44
Kerie: 310 is where you're optimistic, you're upbeat, you're willing to change, you're passionate, you're hopeful, inspiring, you're open-minded.
24:54
Kerie: 350 is acceptance, and then forgiveness and emotional calm.
25:00
Kerie: You're level-headed.
25:01
Kerie: And then 400 is you're a reasonable person.
25:05
Kerie: You have emotional intelligence.
25:07
Kerie: And what I tell people is all the tools you need to solve all your problems are in 4D human consciousness.
25:15
Kerie: And it's not just for you, but for the people that are in your life.
25:21
Cassandra: Okay.
25:21
Kerie: So we need to be more forgiving.
25:23
Kerie: We need to be more accepting of ourselves and others.
25:28
Cassandra: So so how can how can does one forgive the unforgivable?
25:37
Kerie: It's a really good thing.
25:38
Kerie: You've got to look at it is that person is your teacher.
25:45
Kerie: And what are they here to teach to you?
25:49
Cassandra: Okay.
25:49
Kerie: And so I did an episode on the undetected narcissist about how to forgive the unforgivable.
25:56
Kerie: And I tell you exactly what I did around my father.
26:00
Kerie: And how and what I said and how I did it.
26:04
Kerie: And I incorporate what you call the hono pono ono.
26:08
Kerie: Have you heard about that technique?
26:11
Cassandra: No.
26:11
Kerie: It's where I'm sorry.
26:16
Kerie: I love you.
26:18
Kerie: Please forgive me.
26:19
Kerie: Thank you.
26:21
Kerie: And when I first heard that mantra, it really confused me because they've been doing this on prison guards and it's been changing their lives.
26:29
Kerie: But the key factor I found how to make it work is you need the why.
26:33
Kerie: Why?
26:34
Kerie: Why do you want to tell a monster I love you?
26:37
Kerie: Why do you want to tell a monster I forgive you?
26:40
Kerie: And so how I formulated it is it would be like this.
26:44
Kerie: Um, you know, I'm sorry that I disappointed you and I couldn't be the daughter that you wanted me to be.
26:50
Kerie: Please forgive me for that.
26:52
Kerie: And I'm sorry that my boundaries upset you and it pushed you out of a way that made you feel uncomfortable.
27:00
Kerie: And I'm sorry for that.
27:02
Kerie: You know, I honor me more than I honor you.
27:05
Kerie: And I love you because you created me, and I'm doing amazing things in this world.
27:12
Kerie: So thank you for that.
27:14
Kerie: Thank you.
27:16
Cassandra: So so that's that's the methodology to forgive the unforgivable.
27:22
Cassandra: Like you talked about your dad, you know, I love you, you birthed me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
27:28
Cassandra: Yes.
27:28
Cassandra: Okay.
27:29
Cassandra: All right.
27:29
Cassandra: Well, well, let's get to I want to get to um human experience versus the soul lessons.
27:39
Cassandra: And I'm kind of thinking it has something to do about that teachable moment, like you talked about, right?
27:45
Cassandra: So versus that.
27:47
Cassandra: So the human experience versus soul lesson.
27:51
Cassandra: Tell us a let's unpack that a little bit.
27:56
Cassandra: The human experience.
27:57
Kerie: Yes.
27:58
Kerie: So let me give you a uh I'll actually share a story.
28:01
Kerie: And I did a podcast episode about it where a friend of mine, I used to be his boss.
28:08
Kerie: I mean, before I did this, I was in the wine industry.
28:11
Kerie: I was a bigwig.
28:13
Kerie: I used to oversee the sales force for the state of Oregon and Washington.
28:18
Kerie: And he found out what I was doing and he wanted to have lunch with me and chat.
28:24
Kerie: So we're sitting down at lunch and he's talking to me about a second divorce and how horrible it is.
28:29
Kerie: Horrible, horrible, horrible.
28:31
Kerie: He's stuck in guilt and remorse.
28:33
Kerie: He's stuck in the salvation attitude because his um now soon, his ex-wife, second ex-wife, um was a drug addict and wasn't willing to change, didn't want to go to rehab or anything.
28:48
Kerie: And he still loves her, loves her unconditionally.
28:51
Kerie: And I sit there listening to his story, and I looked at him and I said, Um, what lessons did she teach you?
28:59
Kerie: And do you realize she gave you a gift?
29:02
Kerie: And do you know what that gift is?
29:04
Kerie: And he looked at me so shocked, like, what are you talking about?
29:08
Kerie: And I said, Well, I've listened to your story, but um, she taught you a lot.
29:13
Kerie: She's been your greatest teacher, and you've learned the hardest lesson of all of unconditional love because you do still love her, and that's a really hard lesson to learn.
29:25
Kerie: And so I said, The gift that she gave you is you just sat here and told me that you were feeling so bad for the past two years trying to help her, trying to help her, that you could have gone to alcohol, you could have gone to other addictive behaviors, but you didn't.
29:43
Kerie: You actually found prayer and you started praying and talking to God daily, and you just sat here and said, You walk with God every day.
29:53
Kerie: And I bet you before that experience, you were just God was like a takeout order.
29:59
Kerie: Whenever you wanted, you just call for takeout.
30:01
Kerie: That's uh gift, that's a gift, okay.
30:06
Kerie: And I said, and so what else has she taught you?
30:09
Kerie: What are the other lessons she has taught you?
30:12
Kerie: You know, is it that you deserve more?
30:15
Kerie: You need to learn about trauma-bonding relationships because you were in a trauma-bonded, you know, marriage.
30:21
Kerie: You know, what else did she teach you?
30:23
Kerie: And when he walked away and sat with it, and sat with it, he finally texted me one day and said, I get what you mean.
30:35
Kerie: I get it now, I get it.
30:37
Kerie: My end, my list is endless, endless.
30:41
Kerie: She taught me so much.
30:42
Kerie: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
30:44
Kerie: Out of the human experience of feeling like a victim and into a place of empowerment that, yes, she did teach me that I deserve a lot more, that I deserve to be unconditionally, just like I love her unconditionally.
31:02
Kerie: I offer that back.
31:05
Cassandra: Right.
31:06
Cassandra: So, okay, it's like transitioning that pain into power.
31:10
Cassandra: Yes.
31:11
Cassandra: Uh-huh.
31:12
Cassandra: Okay.
31:13
Kerie: Exactly.
31:13
Kerie: He transitioned the pain into power, where he looked at the pain from a from a higher perspective because he wanted to understand her.
31:23
Kerie: And I said, She is a profound teacher.
31:27
Kerie: Profound teacher.
31:29
Kerie: You don't like what she has to teach, but that's why she's here.
31:33
Kerie: She chose this life to be that profound teacher, you know, and she wants to be loved unconditionally.
31:43
Kerie: Who doesn't want to be unloved unconditionally?
31:46
Kerie: And you love her unconditionally, but you realize I have to set you free because it's hurting me.
31:54
Kerie: And I still love you, and I'm gonna let you live your life the way that you want to live it, even though I don't approve of it or like it, I still love you.
32:04
Kerie: And I said, So instead of praying for her, feeling like a failure, pray that she finds her way.
32:12
Cassandra: And Carrie, this is good because a lot of reasons what that we get stuck is because of the pain or the hurt we've experienced.
32:28
Cassandra: And if we can forgive that in the way that you described, that could help individuals unlock.
32:36
Cassandra: It's gonna be a process, but if you see it in that way, because some people can't move forward because they're still angry with their dad, they're still angry with their mother, they're still angry with their sister.
32:47
Cassandra: So if they look at it in this perspective, that will enable them to open the door to something greater in their life.
32:58
Cassandra: And you mentioned for him, like one of the lessons was like he he prayed to God.
33:05
Cassandra: And before you were like, he probably didn't even really really think about God.
33:09
Cassandra: Yeah, and then you even talked about um how does one notice signs from God, right?
33:16
Cassandra: Um, so based on that, what is you did the master the upper room techniques?
33:23
Cassandra: How did you stumble about that?
33:26
Cassandra: Like how number I asked you two things.
33:28
Cassandra: How does one notice a sign from God?
33:31
Cassandra: And what how did you discover the upper room technique?
33:36
Kerie: That's very it's an interesting question because when I wrote my first book, Affirming and Focusing on Living a Better Life, that I learned about in chapter two, understanding the power of our emotions.
33:49
Kerie: And I channeled all that information.
33:53
Kerie: It literally just came right through me, and I found it so fascinating that that I was guided, you know, from above that someone actually did the clinical research.
34:07
Kerie: It has been scientifically proven.
34:10
Kerie: And so the person that did the clinical research was Dr.
34:14
Kerie: David Hawkins.
34:15
Kerie: He did the map of human consciousness, but he never broke it down into 3D, 4D, or 5D.
34:22
Kerie: And when I tried to get a hold of him to tell him, Do you know what you discovered?
34:27
Kerie: Like this is huge.
34:30
Kerie: Because I was basically told that when someone achieves 5D human consciousness, they have entered the kingdom of heaven.
34:38
Kerie: You are one with your creator, you are one with everything, there is no separation in anything.
34:45
Kerie: And when I tried to get a hold of him, I found out he literally died that year.
34:51
Cassandra: That's the guy in the wheelchair, right?
34:53
Cassandra: Dr.
34:53
Cassandra: Hawkins.
34:54
Kerie: Um, no, that is someone else.
34:56
Kerie: Um Dr.
34:57
Kerie: David Hawkins.
34:59
Kerie: No, he's a different gentleman that he did lots of clinical um trials on it.
35:05
Cassandra: Sounded familiar.
35:06
Cassandra: Okay.
35:07
Kerie: Yeah.
35:07
Kerie: And so because he wasn't around anymore, I was guided from above to start coaching people to have everyone aligned to the vibration of love, just having everyone do it.
35:21
Kerie: And I was told to literally create these images, like take it and break it into a chart where people could understand it and comprehend it better and use it as a tool.
35:34
Kerie: You know, you figure out where you're stuck on the 3D chart, and then you look at the 4D chart and you figure out what do I need to do for myself?
35:44
Kerie: Or what does this person need from me?
35:47
Kerie: Do I need to be, you know, like if you're stuck in a rigid mindset, am I maybe being too harsh and judgmental?
35:53
Kerie: Where I really need to accept this person.
35:56
Kerie: Whether I agree with them or like them or dislike them, I need to just accept them because we're all here.
36:04
Kerie: Is that the upper room technique?
36:06
Kerie: It is the upper room technique.
36:08
Kerie: And I was guided to literally call it master the upper rooms because where we're at right now is if we're gonna survive as a species, we need to get out of the 3D mindset.
36:25
Kerie: We have had enough war, enough hatred, enough violence, enough crimes.
36:30
Kerie: There are too many people on this planet that want peace, we want equality, we want cooperation, we want acceptance, and that's all 4D traits.
36:41
Kerie: So imagine if we lived in a world like that, where everybody was had a 4D consciousness, right?
36:49
Kerie: We would not have war, we would not have violence, we would have more community, more connection, more equality, all of that.
36:58
Kerie: I mean, okay it's important to really realize that all of this is to help humanity evolve.
37:09
Kerie: We don't need to be stuck in survival mode anymore.
37:12
Kerie: We don't have to fight for our food or or fight for property or fight for this or that.
37:17
Kerie: Right.
37:18
Kerie: We don't.
37:20
Cassandra: Right.
37:20
Cassandra: I like that.
37:21
Cassandra: The 3D to get helpful to get to the 5D.
37:24
Cassandra: Wow.
37:26
Cassandra: Carrie, you you work with people all over the world.
37:32
Kerie: Yeah.
37:33
Cassandra: And you mentioned that the people you're working with, you mentioned our world is going back and forth.
37:43
Cassandra: And what you would love to see things continue to go forward, not back all the time, or not forth.
37:51
Cassandra: Um and and and what way, when you say the world is going back and forth, in what way is it going back and forth?
38:06
Kerie: Well, a perfect example this morning is I saw when because I try to avoid the news.
38:12
Kerie: I really try to avoid the news, but I saw that uh a statue or a painting, something of an African-American slave that had all these whippings on his back is gonna be removed and taken down.
38:24
Kerie: And I'm like, that is wrong.
38:26
Kerie: That is so wrong because if you don't know the history, you're gonna repeat it.
38:34
Kerie: And this is important to realize that nobody deserves to be whipped or beaten to that severity, and you're just trying to brush it under the rug and pretend it never happened.
38:46
Kerie: Excuse me, that's going backwards.
38:49
Kerie: That is not going forward, okay.
38:53
Kerie: All right, that that is definitely going backwards, and yes, and so I look at it is how we are going backwards and forwards is, and I try not to talk about politics, but in some way I I have to here is everything we're seeing right now is crazy.
39:14
Kerie: It literally is crazy making.
39:16
Kerie: And I think a lot of the people that like even my friend that I talked about when I he shared that he voted for our current president.
39:25
Kerie: I said, Why?
39:26
Kerie: And he said, Well, because he has Christian values, and I said, But what he's doing is not Christian values, and he said, I know.
39:35
Kerie: And I said, So you were gaslighted, you literally were gaslighted, you were sold a different narrative, and now we're seeing the ramifications of that choice people made.
39:47
Kerie: And that's the thing is it's gonna hit home for a lot of people, and it's gonna hit them hard where people are being deport, you know, deportation.
39:57
Kerie: I mean, it's so sad, and all these children, innocent children, what's happening in their families and people that were born here, right?
40:06
Kerie: You know, and you're being told I have to send you back to a country that you were not born into, and you and so all of that is the backwards.
40:16
Kerie: But here's the flip side is when those people wake up and they realize, oh my god, I made a mistake, they might take the higher road and they might then be empowered and say, No, I don't choose this anymore, I don't want this anymore, I want equality, I don't want hatred and separation, I want oneness, I want peace instead of war.
40:41
Kerie: I no more, I'm tired of the violence.
40:44
Kerie: I I want to be satisfied with life.
40:47
Kerie: You see where I'm coming from?
40:49
Cassandra: Yeah, so so when they when they want no more, what what should they do?
40:56
Cassandra: Like, I'm tired of this, I'm tired of the way he said he was a Christian, but it's not demonstrate the values.
41:04
Cassandra: And and then you said, well, based on that, then they'll learn and they should do something.
41:10
Cassandra: What do you think they should do?
41:12
Cassandra: What can they do?
41:13
Kerie: Well, one I should I would say, I would say, you know, like if you're a person that believes in prayer, I would ask for forgiveness.
41:22
Kerie: I would seriously ask forgiveness, and I would atone for being a better human being from now on, going forward, I'm going to accept people the way that they are, regardless of their political views.
41:35
Kerie: I'm still gonna accept them because everyone's entitled to an opinion.
41:39
Kerie: And I'm gonna be a more kind person and a more patient person and a more gentle person instead of someone that's always angry and you know, you see, I guess where you walk the talk, your actions have to match your words.
41:58
Cassandra: So this is another example of how people get stuck a block through various chapters in their life, right?
42:08
Cassandra: And how to remove it was one way to ask for forgiveness.
42:14
Kerie: It is because all of us we're not perfect, we all make mistakes, we do, and the thing is, is you know, forgiveness just isn't forgiving other people, you gotta forgive yourself, right?
42:29
Cassandra: Um, and we talked about 5D, about that love, and one of the things you talk about is how to align your vibration of love, how to shift your perspective from hate to acceptance.
42:44
Cassandra: And I was reading something last night about love, you know, how we we have the love regardless, as you were saying.
42:54
Cassandra: And I thought about like, okay, so how can I shift mine?
42:59
Cassandra: I have a dog, I have a cocker spaniel who's rambunctious, love him madly.
43:05
Cassandra: He is the craziest dog, but I love him, he's just amazing, he could do anything, and then I want to go hug him, and I just started thinking about how unconditional, like they love us unconditionally, but I was thinking now I love him, I really love him.
43:23
Cassandra: So, how can I transition that love that I have of my dog?
43:27
Cassandra: Well, many people said they're human.
43:29
Cassandra: I mean, he's definitely part of the family, and then I started thinking, so I'm like, okay, so when I go to people or run into people, you know, if I can think about how much I love Max, can that transition, you know?
43:43
Cassandra: Um, so I'm curious to how do you align that?
43:48
Cassandra: How do you that's how I shifted my perspective last night?
43:52
Kerie: How no, it's beautiful, yes.
43:55
Cassandra: It is okay.
43:56
Cassandra: And how would you shift your perspective?
43:59
Cassandra: What would you do?
44:00
Cassandra: What what would what do you suggest to your clients on how to shift the hate to acceptance?
44:07
Cassandra: Was it like your friend um with the wife?
44:13
Kerie: So let me give you an example about dealing with someone that's difficult, okay?
44:17
Kerie: So I love my father, I don't like him, and what I don't like is how he treats people, how he talks to people, you know, all of that.
44:29
Kerie: But I do love him, okay.
44:31
Kerie: And when I'm around him, I just focus on emanating the vibration of love.
44:39
Kerie: I am the embodiment of love, I am the presence of love, and whether he feels Feels it or not, it doesn't matter.
44:48
Kerie: It's more about me, the state of me, my embodiment.
44:53
Kerie: And when he says things that are nasty, I've I taught myself a technique and I teach my clients this, and I call it seeds blowing in the wind.
45:05
Kerie: And here's the example when we're around someone that's toxic or dysfunctional, yeah, and and what you do is you want to make sure you are grounded, balanced, and centered when you're around them.
45:18
Kerie: If you're in a bad funk, you're not in the right state of mind to be around them.
45:23
Kerie: You gotta really be self-aware.
45:25
Kerie: And so when they say something that would trigger you to react in a way, think about it as a seed.
45:34
Kerie: And the only one that grabs it and the only one that waters it is you with your anger and your your just your doubt and your bitterness, and it grows roots and it festers, and you are just ugh, yeah.
45:48
Kerie: So, what I've learned to do is when I see that seed, I look at it and I let it blow on by because I want to sleep at night.
45:57
Kerie: I don't want to let that person get their claws in me or their hooks in me.
46:01
Kerie: I let it float on by and I just let it go, and that's accepting them for who they are.
46:08
Kerie: Yeah, I hope I can say this.
46:10
Kerie: Yes, that person's an asshole.
46:12
Kerie: I just let it blow on by, and and I don't feed into it, I don't respond to it, I don't give any inner energy to it.
46:22
Kerie: I just let it go on by.
46:23
Kerie: And it's amazing how your silence has so much power because they expect a reaction out of you, they expect you to fight back, they know exactly what they're doing to hook you in, and you don't take the bait.
46:40
Cassandra: Okay.
46:40
Cassandra: All right.
46:41
Cassandra: So listen, uh, there's a person, can they overcome being a narcissist, a narcissism?
46:50
Cassandra: Uh or or do they have to be aware of it based on your experience?
46:55
Cassandra: Do they care?
46:57
Cassandra: Um, obviously, when they are, it comes from something, how they perhaps were treated when they were uh growing up.
47:06
Cassandra: And and as for you, you could have been that way, but you didn't like how you were being treated.
47:13
Cassandra: So that's why you engulfed, saturated yourself in this work, because why are people like that?
47:19
Cassandra: So I am just curious.
47:21
Cassandra: Can narcissists can they change?
47:24
Kerie: Yes.
47:25
Kerie: And I actually have helped a few change.
47:29
Cassandra: Okay, all right, we got frozen, my listeners.
47:35
Cassandra: Just a minute.
47:37
Cassandra: Okay, just a minute.
47:41
Cassandra: We hoping Carrie will come back.
47:43
Kerie: This is still recording.
47:45
Kerie: Okay, okay, okay, we're back.
47:47
Cassandra: Okay, good.
47:48
Kerie: I had one gentleman come to see me that has extreme anger, and um he is on a domestic violence plan where he literally got drunk one night and blacked out and woke up the next day in handcuffs, didn't know what was going on.
48:05
Kerie: And so when I talked to him, I discovered he did not know what reactive abuse was.
48:11
Kerie: And I said, Well, you experienced reactive abuse.
48:14
Kerie: So I unpacked that for him, and he told me that a lot of his wife and his kids tell him that he's a narcissist and he doesn't know, you know, he nobody likes that word.
48:26
Kerie: So when I went to the my website, undetected narcissist, read about, well, this is what a toxic partner person looks like, their behaviors.
48:35
Kerie: He was like, check, check, check, check.
48:37
Kerie: And I said, Okay, so you are one.
48:39
Kerie: And he's like, Yes, I am.
48:41
Kerie: And I said, But you can change, and I can tell you how.
48:44
Kerie: And but the thing is, is you have to be willing to do the work.
48:48
Kerie: Right, your actions have to match your words.
48:51
Cassandra: All right, okay.
48:52
Kerie: Yeah, and he did have childhood trauma.
48:55
Kerie: He he learned those behaviors from his dad.
48:58
Kerie: But the thing is, is he said the one area where he's important, he's like, my dad would beat his women, and he's like, I've not once laid a hand on my wife, not once.
49:07
Kerie: And I said, That's very good.
49:09
Kerie: You know, at least you broke that chain, that cycle right there, you know, because that was probably passed down from generation to generation to generation.
49:19
Cassandra: Right.
49:19
Cassandra: Wow, wow.
49:21
Cassandra: So, my listeners out there, just think about, you know, what this conversation was about, about the um human experience versus the soul lessons, and think about what the experiences you've had that may keep you stuck because you can't get out of your way about it.
49:43
Cassandra: And just think about the techniques that Carrie talked about, the the 3D and the 4D and the 5D, and just know you have to work on it.
49:56
Cassandra: Just know you have to be aware of what it is that has you in this position.
50:02
Cassandra: And then from there is when you can do the work.
50:05
Cassandra: And so, Carrie, tell my listeners how they can get in touch with you.
50:09
Cassandra: You actually have a call to action, if I'm not mistaken, on your website.
50:14
Kerie: Yes, I mean, I offer a free 15-minute consultation.
50:18
Kerie: Anyone wants to chat with me, you can.
50:21
Kerie: We can chat over the phone, we can chat over Zoom.
50:24
Kerie: Um, and I'll just you tell me your pain story, and I tell you what I get.
50:30
Kerie: And I'll tell you if, you know, what I you know I feel needs to happen and and what needs to change.
50:38
Kerie: And and if you know, money is an issue, I tell you, well, this is what you can do where money isn't an issue.
50:44
Kerie: You know, you can get the resources, you can get the help that you need.
50:48
Kerie: But the most important thing is the very first step is courage.
50:52
Kerie: You gotta have the courage to want to feel better, to want to get unstuck.
50:58
Kerie: That's the very first step is courage.
51:02
Kerie: And yeah, it is.
51:04
Kerie: And these images are free online.
51:07
Kerie: Um, I recommend if any of this speaks to you, listen to the podcast, The Undetected Narcissist.
51:14
Kerie: I got healing happens in layers.
51:16
Kerie: I'm gonna post something next week about generational trauma.
51:19
Kerie: I'm gonna unpack all that and explain the patterns.
51:24
Kerie: So a lot of the things we talked about today, you know, are are on there to just answer questions so you're not in the dark, because that's the problem, is when we're in the dark, yes, that's worked.
51:37
Cassandra: That's so true.
51:38
Cassandra: That's so true.
51:39
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah.
51:40
Cassandra: So Carrie has so much to talk about, like the anxious that that she's talking about.
51:47
Cassandra: I mean, it's just a lot of things, and I encourage you to look at her information and and get into a posture that okay, this podcast resonated with me.
52:04
Cassandra: I am stuck, I know that I'm stuck.
52:07
Cassandra: Now I want to hear, I want to get unstuck.
52:10
Cassandra: So you have my myself um as a transitional lifestyle mentor of Carrie.
52:16
Cassandra: So you have your choice, and I wish we had time because Carrie did something to me really fascinating, where she manifested it, took 10 months.
52:27
Cassandra: She manifested 20 things her heart desired from money to business to family to personal items, home.
52:35
Cassandra: So listen, please take advantage of her complimentary discovery session.
52:43
Cassandra: Okay, well, Carrie, thank you so much.
52:47
Cassandra: It's so knowledgeable.
52:48
Cassandra: I have learned, and if I've learned, I know my listeners have learned a lot.
52:52
Cassandra: And as Carrie indicated, listen to this podcast, share this podcast with someone that you know that it will be in their best interest.
53:01
Cassandra: And as I always say, Carrie, to my listeners, bye for now.
53:06
Cassandra: God bless you.
53:07
Cassandra: I love you.
53:08
Cassandra: And Carrie, thank you so, so very much for your input.
53:13
Cassandra: I loved it.
53:14
Kerie: Thank you, thank you.
53:15
Kerie: Many blessings to all of your listeners, and I hope that everyone gets unstuck and lives a life that they enjoy.
53:24
Cassandra: Absolutely.
53:25
Cassandra: Thank you.