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Diva Mia: Embrace Your Core Values as they Matter More Than Ever · The Diva Details

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  Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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  Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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  From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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  Music.
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  No filters, no limits. Just fearless conversations to help you thrive.
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  Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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  Howdy, this is Mia. Today I'm going to talk to you a little bit more about core values.
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  One of the things I think we forget as we get older is that our core values
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  do change a little bit, but the main parts of them don't.
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  Core values are something that shows your morality, can be your ethics,
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  your integrity, and it's your own personal power.
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  Your core beliefs are things that you do when no one's watching.
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  If you say your core belief is to be loyal,
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  but then you go out to strip clubs or watch a bunch of porn or go flirt with
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  a bunch of people or even just chat with other people online,
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  if you're a man chatting with other women, if you're a woman chatting with other
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  men, in inappropriate ways,
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  then you are not following your core belief of being loyal.
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  Core beliefs are unstoppable. It's something who you are no matter what.
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  If you say you're loyal to someone, you're loyal to someone even when nobody's watching.
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  If you say you're honest, you're honest even when it hurts.
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  You're honest even when you have to tell somebody the hard truth.
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  If a core belief of yours is that you don't steal, you don't steal when people
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  aren't looking. If something happens, you return it.
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  That's a core belief. Core beliefs are soul-shifting.
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  It is truly part of who you are as a person. And if you can find someone that
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  aligns with your core beliefs and be friends with those people.
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  That maybe your partner or your spouse is similar, core beliefs are,
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  I think, bigger than hobbies.
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  I think people look for hobbies. They'll go find somebody that likes to play
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  pickleball, but yet they don't find someone that's loyal. And oh my gosh,
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  they got a pickleball partner that, well, there you go.
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  They didn't have a similar core belief. Core beliefs are truly internal, and that is hard to find.
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  I think there's a lot of different places you can go. You can do disk profiles
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  to kind of find out what your core beliefs are and if you line with people.
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  But it is different than anything else. It's more than just having a positive mindset.
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  We're talking about morality. We're talking about integrity.
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  We're talking about personal power.
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  So it's from how you treat people and how you talk to yourself.
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  People with strong core beliefs will be the same no matter when other people are around.
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  So if you go to a restaurant by yourself and you're rude to a waiter,
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  but yet when you're out there and you're out there with a person or you're on
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  a date, you're super nice, you don't have a core belief of treating other people
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  nicely or treating other people with respect.
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  And so a core belief, you should be that way no matter what.
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  It doesn't change when you're with different people. Your belief system determines
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  who you're going to become.
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  It's going to determine what kind of life you're going to lead.
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  And this belief system is powerful.
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  And no one can tell you what is a right and a wrong core belief. Now, society will.
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  If you have a core belief that it's okay to steal from people,
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  society will say, no, it's not, and put you in jail.
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  If you find that it's a core belief that it's okay to hurt someone,
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  society will disagree and put you in jail. So there are core beliefs that are
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  influenced for sure by society, but there's core beliefs on our own that we can influence.
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  One of the things I do love about church is that it helps create core beliefs
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  and rules and boundaries for people that are in a very high moralistic way.
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  Now, not everyone follows them, and I can't say just because you go to church
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  you're going to be a moral and ethical person that's got integrity,
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  etc., but it does give you a foundation.
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  I wish church was involved in more people's lives and more children's lives and more adults' lives.
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  But that's the way it is. But when you have good ethical behavior,
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  it doesn't matter if you go to church. It will help strengthen your belief system,
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  but the good people that have the core values that are strong,
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  that are ethical, they radiate that.
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  You can tell when someone has a core belief and is honest and is ethical and
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  upholds that and is spiritual, even if they're not at church every Sunday.
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  It transcends who they are.
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  So there's a difference between achieving success and becoming someone that you're proud of?
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  Because I think that in life, sometimes we think that, oh, I have a core belief
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  that I'm going to be successful, but are you going to be proud of who you become
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  in order to get that success?
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  And some people will sell out their core beliefs on the road to success.
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  They will sell out their soul, basically, and who they are in order to achieve who they want to become.
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  And if you sell out yourself, if you sell out who you are now,
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  You're going to not recognize yourself when the success actually happens.
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  Core beliefs are invisible. So it's kind of a rule that you set for yourself.
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  I've always said that if you're not a cheater, you never will be.
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  So I was a person that didn't cheat at anything.
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  I don't cheat at schoolwork. I don't cheat on my partners. I don't steal. I don't lie.
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  That's a core belief for me. For some people, it's not. Some believe that it's
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  okay to cheat. Some people don't understand the implications that cheating causes.
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  And if they don't have that as a core belief, it's going to be okay for them.
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  And then the people that have the core belief that cheating's not okay have
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  issues reconciling why someone would do that or how someone could do that.
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  Well, it just wasn't their core belief.
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  And then some people have a core belief that health is the most important thing you can have.
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  Whereas other people, their core belief is they want to spend Friday nights,
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  Saturday nights, and Sunday nights sitting on the couch eating popcorn and watching
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  TV because their core belief is to spend quality time with their family.
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  And there's a disconnect there if you have a person that says,
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  my core belief is I got to be working out every day and I don't want to sit my butt on a couch.
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  Those are two different core beliefs. So just remember your core beliefs,
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  if you want to have the right people around you, have the core beliefs aligned.
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  Now, hobbies don't have to align, but your core beliefs should.
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  They're going to shape your identity.
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  They're going to shape your behavior. And honestly, you're going to have boundaries
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  related to your core beliefs.
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  Your habits are going to change, your emotional tone.
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  But if you can find people with the same core beliefs to surround yourself with,
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  you're going to be a much happier person. You may want to keep the right people
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  around you because if you can find people with the same core beliefs,
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  you will have less internal conflicts with those.
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  I do believe that the people that are around you that you surround yourself
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  with have to have similar core beliefs because that will impact you.
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  It's the core root of your character. It's the compass of decision making.
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  Everything comes from your core beliefs. You have beliefs that will guide you,
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  your purpose, your thought process, your integrity, your drive.
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  All that comes from core beliefs.
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  Now, you can, if you change your core beliefs, you can change who you are.
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  A lot of people will go into the prison system and they've done some bad things.
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  And in prison, they'll get reformed and change their core beliefs and come out
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  a different person. Someone could go into rehab and come out a different person,
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  but they had to change a core belief.
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  They had to go deep inside, heal deep inside, and change a core belief.
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  Heck, you could have been cheating on your spouse and you come out reformed
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  after you get burned really bad and you change your core beliefs.
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  But you have to do a lot of work to change a core belief because it's so deep
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  down inside you that it's tied to a lot of other beliefs.
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  So the core belief, just remember, it's deep. It's in your soul.
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  There are more moral and ethical core beliefs. And here's some of them.
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  Just doing the right thing matters even when no one's watching. I said that earlier.
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  I think taking full responsibility of your actions is just as important.
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  But it is a core belief to take responsibility for your actions.
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  If you're one of those people that projects and blames other people,
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  it's not a good character.
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  Blaming other people for your actions and your bad decisions means you're not emotionally mature.
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  Honesty, being a foundation, is real power in life too. If you can be honest
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  with yourself and if you can be honest with others, you're going to have real power in life.
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  People like people that are honest and people like people that are vulnerable
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  because people feel like they can trust them.
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  If you say, I don't lie, cheat, or manipulate, you've got to do it when other
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  people aren't watching as well.
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  My word is my bond. My word is my oath. If I tell someone I'm going to be a
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  certain way, that's how I'm going to be.
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  If I tell someone I'm showing up on time, I'm showing up on time.
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  Nothing's going to stop me.
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  So just remember, if you can commit to being who you say you're going to be,
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  you're going to be a much happier person as well. And here's the thing.
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  If you start telling people you're going to show up on time and then every time
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  you show up 15 minutes late, you're not just breaking a bond to them and your
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  word to them. You're breaking it to yourself.
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  And do you really want to disappoint yourself?
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  You've got to look yourself in the mirror every single day, and some people
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  can't. Some people, if they honestly, they go do mirror work and they stare
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  at themselves, they're ashamed.
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  Some people look at themselves and they don't want to look at,
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  they don't like who's looking back.
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  And if that's how you feel, maybe it's time to look at some of your core values,
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  your core belief systems, and rework them.
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  But I will tell you, it's going to take some work, because you're going to have
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  to dive in deep as to why you've allowed things to become and take place in
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  your life that you don't enjoy.
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  Why you become who you don't want to be. Do you treat people with kindness?
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  Is that your standard? Or do you yell at people on the highway if they cut you off?
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  Do you treat staff like waiters and cleaning people and landscapers with kindness?
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  Or are you yelling at them to get your way because you're a toddler that likes
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  to throw a temper tantrum?
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  Everyone's a person. Everyone deserves respect. So whether it's the janitor
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  at the school or the mechanic or the grocery checkout person or the bag person
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  that's bagging your groceries, treat people with respect.
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  You don't know what they've gone through.
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  You don't know what they're living through that day. But maybe you being nice
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  and genuine and kind and caring can help them for that day.
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  And if we all just remember that and treat each other with a little bit of respect,
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  as a core value, can you imagine how happy and how good the world would be?
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  I choose to see the best in people every day.
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  I choose to see the best in situations. And when bad things happen,
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  I still find the best in the situation and find a lesson in it. Negativity is a choice.
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  Positivity is a choice. Joy is a choice. Choose to live in joy.
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  Every time I hear somebody saying to me that, realistically,
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  you have to do this. No, I don't.
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  Because I live in joy, and I live in positivity, and I live in possibility. I own my energy.
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  I give love to everyone.
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  Not everybody gives me love back, I will say, but I do give love and caring
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  and consideration to everyone.
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  Don't expect everyone to give it back, but maybe next time they'll be a little
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  bit kinder to the next person they run into just because I gave them love too.
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  I think we as women are all about giving love.
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  I think we as women give more love than anyone.
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  We have that power. It is powerful to be able to give love.
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  I'm not saying go sacrifice your needs for others, but I'm saying there's a
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  lot of things we can do just to help other people that doesn't take away from
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  who we are and may add to who you are, may help fill up your cup.
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  I'm the kind of woman that I'd want to look up to.
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  I want to be that woman. I want to be the woman that my kids look up to.
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  I want to be someone that my friends can look up to, and they can find joy in
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  my joy and I can find joy in their joy and we can live happier and better because we know each other.
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  We're only here for a little second on this planet.
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  Life has gone so quickly. It's a speck of dust on a beach.
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  But in reality, that speck of dust can make shine and sparkle and you can make
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  it the best life possible.
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  One that is really truly worth living so that you feel joy every day,
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  and that your core values and your integrity.
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  Can transcend generations. Remember Honest Abe? Everybody remembers Honest Abe
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  because he was so truthful. Honesty is a blessing.
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  When people talk about your honesty hundreds of years later, that's a true thing.
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  Integrity will build trust in your relationships and business and love and community.
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  Trust is currency, and that trust is so important.
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  And you see it with people that have cheated, that have been recognized nationally for cheating.
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  You see it in people that have stolen money, the Bernie Madoffs, they're never trusted.
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  You know, and people, I mean, there's even congressmen getting in trouble for mortgage fraud.
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  Once they've gone through that, I don't think the trust ever comes back.
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  I mean, Bill Clinton is still the butt of most people's jokes,
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  I guess pun intended on that.
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  But yeah, him and his cigars, I mean, come on.
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  There are people that you lose trust, you never get back. So keep your character,
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  keep your morals. Your morals and your identity will shine through.
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  Who do you really want to be? Do you want to be the person that nobody trusts,
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  that nobody believes in?
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  Or do you want to be the person that, you know what, they can always lean on
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  you and they can always count on you because you have ethics,
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  you have morals, and you have integrity.
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  You're going to be the one grounded and centered that people know who you are.
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  The fake people, I will tell you, they don't go far. They last.
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  They might be a shining little star for a little bit and they fizzle out so quickly.
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  But the ones that are true and honest, they're the ones that deliver.
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  They're the ones that stick around.
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  Ethical behavior will also protect your spirit. You never have to second guess.
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  If you're not lying, you have no lies to cover up.
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  People that lie, they don't even remember what they're lying about,
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  and then they get caught in lies because they keep lying.
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  People that steal, you know what, it comes back to get you.
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  I swear, there is something with karma that will come back and get you.
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  People that play dirty tricks, that cheat, that lie, that steal,
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  it just all comes back to get them.
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  Not that I wish karma on anyone, I truly don't, but in the reality,
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  that's kind of like checks and balances of the universe.
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  You know, you could have a short-term win, but long-term, you're going to suffer.
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  It breaks your inner alignment. It breaks your soul.
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  I think the positive characteristics that you have, the joy, it will radiate.
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  People are going to be drawn to your presence because your energy is clean.
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  Your energy is safe. Your energy is productive.
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  Being a woman of character is true ultimate power too. It's truly stepping into
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  your feminine, truly loving other people.
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  It's a power move. I think it's sexy. I think sometimes it's rare with women.
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  And I think women care too much about the fake plastic facelifts and big lips and Botox.
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  And they don't realize that their sexiness and their true power is their character,
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  who they are as a person. You know, we are unstoppable.
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  It is rare to find a truly genuine person that is unstoppable.
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  But if more women could be that way, we could change the world together.
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  Because if you're truly who you are, if you're positive, if you bring love,
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  if you bring caring, and if you're honest with people, even when it's uncomfortable.
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  Because I will say sometimes honesty is very uncomfortable.
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  But if you're honest with people, eventually it will come through and everybody
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  will know that you always tell the truth and that's just who you are. You have integrity.
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  And you're pure, and your love is pure, too. But don't compromise your values
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  for others. I've seen that happen time and time again.
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  People will mute themselves in order to stay in relationships,
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  and the reality is if you have to mute yourself in a relationship,
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  it's not the right relationship.
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  Don't change your core values for other people. You may struggle to set boundaries,
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  but those boundaries have to protect your core values.
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  You have to have integrity. If you have friends that like to go and steal things,
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  don't hang out with those friends. If they lie a lot, don't hang out with them.
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  If they're partiers and one of your things is not to party, don't be going hanging
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  out with them either. Find your group. Find your clan. Find your tribe.
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  Find the people that you want to be with that match you. You're still going
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  to need boundaries even then.
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  Don't feel shame if you've tolerated stuff in the past, though.
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  I had to learn this one. I put up with a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have in my past.
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  I've allowed people to do things that go against all of my poor values.
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  What I've realized is that I muted myself in order to not make waves,
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  to create a peaceful atmosphere so that there was no conflict.
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  I can't do that anymore. I won't do that anymore.
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  The reality is that you don't feel shameful about what's happened because if
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  you've done anything, you've learned a huge lesson about your core values and who you are as a person.
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  So take that shame and turn it into a lesson.
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  Take it and say, I'm not shamed of it, but I did learn a great deal from it and I've grown from it.
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  Don't cycle in and out of guilt or regret on any of that, on any emotional drama.
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  Take each thing that you have that happens that maybe didn't go the way you
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  wanted to, just learn from it and take that in as a core value.
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  If you keep attracting people that don't respect you, there's something you
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  need to fix in your core values.
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  If your outer life is too chaotic, then your inner beliefs are completely misaligned.
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  Your core values are not functioning.
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  If you have chaos in your finances, look on on
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  your insides if you have chaos in your health look on your insides
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  and start aligning things to work for you in a better
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  way look into new ways to heal yourself look into new ways to make more money
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  but do something that will help you realign you can do things to strengthen
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  your belief system i think you need to redefine your standards when you level
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  up in life and redefine standards that can help your strengthen your belief
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  system what kind of woman do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to be?
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  What values do you live by? I think sometimes journaling here will help as well.
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  If you can write down what you want and who you want to be, even if you're not
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  there yet, and redefine and recreate yourself into the person you want to be, an authentic person.
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  Don't do it just to make money. Do it because this is who you truly want to
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  be. And practice that moral discipline.
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  It's moral discipline every single day.
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  You've got to keep your word to yourself. You've got to keep your word to others.
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  One of the things, you know, sometimes people set goals. They say,
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  I want to make a million dollars in a year. Last year, they made $10,000.
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  Now, I'm not saying it's not possible.
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  But I want you to set a goal that you can hit and that you will hit so you can
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  keep your word to yourself. So maybe you say, instead of, I want to make a million
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  dollars in a year, why don't you say, I want to make $10,000 in a month?
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  Then the next month, maybe you say, I'm going to double it. By the end of the
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  year, you'll be at a million dollars or more. So try that.
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  Make sure you can keep the word to yourself and hit every single thing you're
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  going to do, because then you're keeping your word, not just to others,
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  but to yourself. And don't gossip.
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  One of the things I know is that people that sit around and talk about others,
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  they don't go very far in life.
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  If you want to really up your game, start talking about concepts,
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  and then from concepts, start talking about ideas, and then take those ideas
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  and turn them into plans and create things.
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  You know, playing dirty and gossiping is such a waste of time as playing around
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  on your phone or sitting around watching TV all day long.
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  I mean, how are you succeeding with that? But if that's your core value,
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  that's your choice. gratitude and optimism, grace, joy, all of these things,
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  they give us such a passion for life.
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  Train your brain to go after the light instead of the dark.
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  Train your brain to follow the positive path, and it will lead you out of any
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  darkness that you're in.
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  I think we need to rewire our limiting beliefs as well. I had a podcast about
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  limiting beliefs, and rewiring limiting beliefs is important.
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  So surround yourself with people of character, people with similar core values.
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  I think, as I wrap this up, I think that's one of the most important things.
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  Because the people around you, if you can surround yourself,
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  whether it's your spouse or your partner or your friends,
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  family, or even your children should have similar core beliefs to you,
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  the people you surround yourself will take you higher or they can pull you back down.
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  Solid core beliefs that are moral and ethical with integrity, they will take you up.
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  Whereas ones that are victimhood and complaining and negative,
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  they will bring you down. And it's your choice.
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  You get to choose who you surround yourself. I'm a woman of grace.
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  I have a lot of grit, and I want to be great. I walk in integrity.
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  I choose light. I speak truth. I give people so much love, and I love well.
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  I'm proud of who I'm becoming. I'm proud of other people around me,
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  and I truly feel like my purpose is to love people and care for people.
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  That's who I am. I do things that I'm passionate about. I try to avoid things
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  that I'm not passionate about.
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  But it's up to you. We all have limited time on this planet.
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  Do you want to make your time beautiful or do you want to make your time negative?
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  It's your choice. Beliefs are rooted in truth and love. And some people love negativity.
• 21:00
  Life reflects in every room you walk in, your goals, your relationships, your energy.
• 21:05
  It all begins with you. So believe in who you are. I think if you can love yourself.
• 21:09
  If you can find core values that strengthen, yes, who you are as you level up,
• 21:14
  as you grow into the person you want to be, you will find and attract the right person for you.
• 21:19
  You will find and attract the right job for you.
• 21:22
  You will grow into the healthy body that you've always wanted to have.
• 21:25
  And your children will grow with you if you have children still.
• 21:29
  So why don't we, instead of focusing on other people, instead of gossiping about politics,
• 21:34
  instead of constantly complaining about the weather or things that are going
• 21:38
  wrong in our lives, we go back, we look at our core values, we level up,
• 21:41
  we turn ourselves into the best version we are, and then we bring everyone that
• 21:45
  we know and love around with us.
• 21:47
  And if they don't want to come, that's okay, you can let them go.
• 21:49
  But the ones that come with you, I hope you enjoy the ride.
• 21:52
  This is Diva Mia. Have a wonderful day.
• 21:56
  Thanks for tuning in. Like, subscribe, and drop a comment. We love hearing from you.
• 22:02
  Visit thedivadetails.com to connect. See you next week for more.
• 22:12
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• 22:15
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• 22:17
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• 22:19
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• 22:20
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• 22:22
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