Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 135 | Love and Respect for Sons

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Ep. 135 | Love and Respect for Sons · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  What's up, 5-Minute Fatherhood listeners? Have you guys seen that Family Team's Weekend Live is officially open? You can register. You can claim your spot. A two-day event, Cincinnati, Ohio, October 18th and 19th this year. We're going to pack 250 couples in a Memorial Hall historic theater downtown where we're going to lean in, roll up our sleeves, and we're going to be able to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a
• 0:20
  and have a workshop about building a multi-generational family team on mission. You're gonna get practical tips, you're gonna get practical tools, you're gonna leave with a family blueprint and manual, and officially you're also going to be not alone and realize there's other people who want to do the same thing as you. We want you guys there, it's selling out fast, so make sure to go to familyteams.com slash weekend to register and claim your spot. And there's also a special little discount code if you're part of our Facebook group, which you can find a link to that,
• 0:48
  in the info section on audio or the info section on the YouTube channel. So again, familyteams.com slash weekend. It's selling out fast. Claim your spot. We'd love to see you there. And there's something about that over a long period of time that the husband starts rising to that.
• 1:09
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Bethke, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned. Stay tuned.
• 1:31
  What's up, guys? Welcome to another 5-Minute Fatherhood. So there's an awesome book that's sort of going viral in our little community right now, and it's written by Emerson Egrich. You guys probably know about his book, Love and Respect. It's awesome. But he's written many other follow-throughs, one for family, and then he wrote one just for mothers and sons.
• 1:49
  And it's a really incredible book. He really—what he is talking about in this book is that women have to learn how to use respect speech to their sons, even their, like, really young sons.
• 2:05
  And just it makes a night and day difference. So I think this book is called The Respect Effect, and I wanted to give you guys one quote from this, and I want to talk to just us as fathers, too, about this. So he says, respect is a need in the male soul, not only in your husband, but also in your little boy. The man is in the boy.
• 2:25
  If we do not teach girls about the power of their disrespect and how that shuts down the heart of a boy, we will not motivate the boy to hear us when we coach him on how to conduct himself toward women. So I really love this. And then April, she actually played this for all four of Jackson's sisters.
• 2:47
  And she just wanted to equip them and say, hey, you have a brother who has a different kind of heart language than is intuitive to you, and it is respect talk. And I think that a lot of times guys do this intuitively for each other. A lot of men do this intuitively towards sons. But if you struggle with this as a father or if any mothers are listening to this, man, really learn this language. And it is night and day.
• 3:10
  I've seen this with so many guys. I've seen this when I was coaching guys. I see this with my own son, and that is that if you just shift your language slightly towards respecting them, I respect the man you're becoming, and this issue, I expect you to be able to overcome this because I respect you.
• 3:27
  And just constantly treating them with honor and respect and making deference to the respect that you have for the man that they're becoming, this really motivates boys at a level that's completely different. And this language can be completely foreign to particularly a lot of women. And so, guys, if you find that there's a constant clash going on between your wife and your son, I cannot recommend reading this book enough. But Jeff, have you thought about this one?
• 3:56
  Yeah, I mean, I can't speak as much into the mother and son one, but the egg riches are amazing and incredible. But one thing I'll say, just because I know actually a lot of moms, I'd probably say almost half our audience is probably actually moms and women that listen to this podcast. I would just say to you ladies, man, if you haven't dived into the importance of this for your husband, that all because it's a trickle down effect, I think from that to then the son.
• 4:17
  Um, you need to, you need to step into that. You need to lean into that. And the crazy part is it has nothing to do with their performance, right? Like there's a lot of people, like there's something about respect where it's actually one of the first kind of activating, um, tools that then they then rise to the occasion and start performing. And so we, we do the opposite where they're, we like, Oh, they're not worthy of my respect. That's what people say, actually say out in culture all the time, right? They're not worthy of my respect. They don't,
• 4:44
  deserve my respect. And maybe at some level that might be true culturally, sure. But I think in a marriage, man, you can actually create a future for your husband that you want him to go towards if you respect him first. I think so just really think on that, really sit on that, really ask yourself if you feel like you do that. And there's something about that over a long period of time that the husband starts rising to that. I think husbands more than, I think men, adult men, more than probably any, you know, girls, women, any other kind of age demographic or gender demographic,
• 5:14
  that particular age of men is so prone to kind of whoever, what everyone around them is saying they are, they become. I think that's just so, like a husband can just go so internal, so become just kind of like the typical, you know, lazy, abdicate his responsibility. And there's a lot of that that's his sin, but there's a lot of that that I think actually has so many factors around him kind of just sending him into that vacuum of,
• 5:39
  And that starts a lot with whoever's closest to him and respect. So I would just kind of end with that note of that. And then once you see that, or if you already do do that, then yeah, then I think the one one, the one that we don't trickle that down to is then children and sons. We think, oh, there's my child. I don't have to do X, Y, and Z. It's my child. But no, no, no. To actually call him up into the man you want him to be, that you're kind of painting that future for him that he can step into as well.
• 6:03
  Hey guys, if you like this short content on 5-Minute Fatherhood, then you're going to love long-form interviews that Jeremy and I do with other dads just like you over at Dads Building Teams. We go much more in-depth hearing the stories, challenges, and journeys of different dads who are trying to build multi-generational teams on mission. Just go to whatever podcast platform you use and search for Dads Building Teams.