Latest / Dear Chelsea / My Love Language Is Vasectomy with Ashley Graham

Transcript

My Love Language Is Vasectomy with Ashley Graham · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. The last time we saw each
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: other was at the Wheel Turn at my show in
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles. It was so exciting to see you actually
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: doing your thing. Did you come to the first show
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: or the second show? The second show okay, good? The
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: second show was an A plus plus amazing. You were fantastic.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Oh that was so fun. Thank you. It was. It's
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: always a nerve wracking in l A because I have
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: so many friends and family and industry that come that
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: you're just like, funk funck fuck. And we did two
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: shows in one night, and then we went to San
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Francisco the next night. I did two shows there. By
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: the end of that, I was like, I can't think
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: anymore spent. I'm sure spent, But I want to promote
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: my Nashville show. Oh. I just announced a whole slew
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of news stand up. Yeah, and announced twenty five more
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: dates to the Vaccinated and Horny tour. So if you haven't,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: if I haven't come to your city, check my website
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler dot com for new dates. And there are
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: tickets available for my second show in Nashville, where I
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: will be taping my special on June tenth at the Rheman.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So we also have merch for sale at Chelsea Hamler
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: dot com. We have Dear Chelsea merch and vaccinated in
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: a horny merch and that is all all really cute.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: We're not selling flip flops. Contrary to popular belief. We
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: thought about it just to say fuck you, but we
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: did not do it. We did not pull the trigger
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: on that. Yes, COVID shipping delay has really made that
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: not possible. Yeah. One other thing I was going to
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: tell you about your show is that, totally randomly, my
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: husband accidentally bumped into a woman and then the person
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: she was with said, in a fun jokey way, do
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: you know who this is? This is Chelsea Handler's housekeeper.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And I was like my bell and gave her a
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: huge hug in this huge crowd of like thousands of people.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, of course, he steps on my fucking my bell.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I went to my bell. Is so funny. I went
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: to a pet psychic. I'm hosting Jimmy Kimmel Show the
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: week of June and we were doing some pre tape segments, right,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: So one of them was me taking Bert and Bernie
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to a pet psychic, and the pet psychic told me
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: that Berniee loves me more than anyone, that she's just
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: upset that I leave all the time, and that she
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: loves me the most, and that she's always playing hard
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: to get, which is has been my suspicion. I've always
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: been suspicious because Bernice is tricky and just like a girl.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Right she comes in. She'll come into my room, come
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: right up to my bed, sniff around, and when I
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: put my head down to scratch her nose or her face,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: she runs out in Hall's ass like like I'm accosting her.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch fucking came in here, and but I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: know that that's it's her. She's insecure and she's just
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: trying to get my attention, and then she wants me
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: to come out and play with her. So the psychic
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: confirmed all of those beliefs for me, and I told
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: my Bell and ever since then, my Bell has been
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: treating Bernie's differently. Yeah, she's definitely. She sent me two
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: pictures of them at the park this weekend. Bert was
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: on a blanket and Bernice was in the dirt. So
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: is my Bell jealous? Now? Well she should? Yeah, she
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: she was jealous when I told her that she didn't
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: smile or laugh. She takes her ownership of pretty seriously.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: And when I came home from filming that bit, I
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: said to Joe Coy, I was like, so I went
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: to this pet psychic and she said this, And then
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Joe goes, well did she He goes, do you think
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: she looked you up beforehand? I'm like, Joe, it's a
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: pet psychic. I don't give a funk what she did. Like,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not going there for some real information and feedback.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Even though the one piece of information I did like,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I decided to take. Yeah, keep what works for you,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: get rid of what doesn't. Right. Yeah, it's very exciting
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: to be in New York City together. Yes, I can't
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: believe it. It was this weird thing where you had
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: today available. I was randomly going to be here in
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: New York and I'm heading to a plane in a
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: few minutes after this. But there was like a one
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: hour and a half window where we could come and
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: also our fabulous guest today could be here. I know,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: we're very excited about our guests today because we've been
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: trying to do this but in person only. Because she's
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: the type of person you only want to be in
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: person with because she's that kind of girl, and we
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: made it happen here in New York today. She is
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: a supermodel, a body activist, an entrepreneur, global ambassador for Nicks.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: She just launched a new lingerie campaign with Nixt and
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: it's called a Big Strong Woman campaign. And she just
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: joined a skincare brand where she's an investor and partner
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: and it's called Big One. Please welcome Ashley Graham. Thank
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: you for having me. Oh my god, thank you for coming,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: because well we're in New York today and we wanted
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: to do this in person. And I know that you
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: have been a baby making machine for one. Seems like
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: she's had about eight babies in the last It's what
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: it feels like. And every time I look at them,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like, there's more of you, and it feels like
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: they're just they're just they're growing and growing. Anyways, Yeah,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: we're good. Thanks are you leaving? He's just supervirising always.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: It's like, now you're like really working people that you're
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: sleeping with. I love it. Any other way to do things.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: The guy who was just on on screen there, he's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: my husband sleeping with him. Now that women, now that
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: women are allowed to. Is that your mom? Yes, that
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: is my mom. Yeah, and my sister she looks just
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: like you. How cute. Oh, it's a family affair today.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I love it. Did you dye your hair and you
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: have your eyeshadow in the same tone on purpose? I
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: was telling my mom used to have to tell her
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: not matchy matchy. It's not in anymore, like after the nineties.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: It's over and you know, we were just talking about it.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, mom, matchy matchy is back in again.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: She's like, I just learned to stop doing that. Like
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: it's called monochromatic. Now. I love a monochromatic mama. I
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: feel cute. Your mother must be stoked though. Okay, so
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: there's you know, she's like there's grandma and then there's
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: caretaker Grandma, and she's caretaker Grandma. So she really likes
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: her days off. Oh it's different. It's different like being
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: granny who just comes in and sees the babies and
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: like leaves. She's like, okay, another day for you know.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I had Isaac in and then I had my twins
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: the top of this year in two and it's like,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: right when I stopped breastfeeding, I got pregnant with the twins.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: It was just boom boom boom, my body. I've given
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: it up to love. That's what Justin said, You gave
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: your body up to love. I'm just I'm ready for
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: it to come back, like to see myself again. But
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I look at my little angels and I said, I
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: did it for you. So were you planning on getting
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: pregnant that soon after or did you? We talked about it. Yeah,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: we said, okay, if we're going to do this again,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: let's do it. And it wasn't like a hard decision
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: because we knew we wanted a second. But I didn't
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: know it's going to happen that quickly. And I did
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: not know it was going to be twins. If I
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: would have known it was going to be twins, I
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: probably would have waited maybe another year. I am glad
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I got it over with. I always wanted three kids.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't want a middle child. I didn't know how
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: that was going to work. But why do you say that?
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Are you? I'm the oldest, and I am the boss eest,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I'm the loudest. I run the show and I have
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: seen how my baby sister acts and my middle sister acts,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: and I just never wanted a middle child, didn't want
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: anyone like your middle sister. I'm a middle child. You are,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: and do you feel like you're a handful um? Maybe
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: last than my sister who's in the other room right now.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Love you, Diana. It's hard when your family is listening
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: to the podcast in the next room, to be quite frank.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I love my sisters, but I have met so many
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: middle children, and I just that was my one request.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So I feel like God was on my side and
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: he said, Boom, you get twins. And there are two
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: hours and seven minutes apart. Two hours and seven minutes.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Oh God, that sounds like what happened in those two hours,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: and literally laboring in a tinyess in New York City
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: bathtub because I was having my birthpool set up and
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: it just wasn't happening fast enough. And then boom, Roman
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: was like I'm coming out, mom, Oh my god. So yes,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I have been pregnant for two years, breastfeeding for freaking
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: two years. I'm on their four months now, I'm looking
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: at six months, and I'm going to check in mentally
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: with myself, see how I'm doing, and then either stop
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: or yeah, but I'm supplementing with formula, so it feels
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: like there's no formula shortage. So don't worry about that.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: It is such a thing. But yeah, it's a tough
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: situation right now for all those families that need formula. Yeah. Absolutely,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Well tell me a little bit about what your experience
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: has been, because it's not just like you had one baby.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: It is kind of like you had three babies and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: you're done now. Because you know the statistics. If you
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: have three boys in a row, you automatically get a girl.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Because my mom. Yeah, well everybody keeps telling me, you
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: know you're gonna have a fourth if then it's going
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: to be a boy. Oh no, No, once you have three,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: if one sex, the chances are higher that you're going
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: to have the opposite sex. My mom and all of
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: her sisters had three boys and then girls. Yeah, my
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: mom had three boys and three girls. Okay, so you're
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: telling me maybe I should try it again. Well, if
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: you want a girl, you know, I mean, unless you're
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: counting one of the kids to transition, you know what
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, Right, you have to hence your bets, Like,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: if you really want a girl, I think three is
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: a great number. For kids in a family, but four
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: is also a great number. I come from a big
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: family like you company are there there six? And you
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: come from like you either make what you had or
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: you abstained all together. You have a sister, Yes, we're
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: but we're two of four, so we have brothers on
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: either side. And my brothers are actually fourteen years apart.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Same parents, like same mom and dad were released spread apart.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we'll like each other. So I could just
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: wait another ten years, maybe exactly have a caboose. How
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: does Justin feel? What is it? What are his thoughts about?
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: He got a vasectomy? Oh, well I guess that answered, Well,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: then I guess you're not having another baby. You can
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: reverse it. The doctor who gave it to him said
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: he's done as many reversals as he's done actual vasectomies.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So that's like where we're standing right now. I knew
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I love Justin for a reason. You know what, It
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: really takes a real man to get a sect to me. Yes,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I think that it's important to have that conversation in
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: your relationship. But he didn't have to have the conversation
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: with me. He just told me, I'm going to do it.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I don't want You've done enough. He said, you carried
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: these children, you pushed them out, and I saw what
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you went through. I can get a vasectomy. I know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't even have to ask him. I wish there
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: were other straight men listening to this podcast to take
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: this advice, you know what I mean. That's a real man,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: and you guys have a beautiful, beautiful relationship that anyone
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: who's ever met and either one of you or even
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: watched you on social media can glean. He's such a sweetheart.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I feel so blessed to have him as my husband's
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: We're about to celebrate eleven and a half years, so
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I guess no, we're about to celebrate twelve years. Yeah,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: and three kids later. I mean, I don't know what
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: we're gonna do for that twelfth year celebration, but it's
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: going to be something fun. I mean, you're about to
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: have one year celebration was a lot different. You have
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: to celebrate one year. Oh, Joe will want to celebrate
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: one year. He's all about celebrating. Is he the romantic? Yes, yeah,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: he's the romantic. And I have a hard time. Oh well, actually,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: you know the first time Joe and I got together.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I went to Nashville. I was performing in Nashville and
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I was staying at a friend's house and I got
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: there and my assistant called and she goes, walk outside,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: there's a delivery for you. And I went and I
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: saw three dozen long stemmed roses, and I immediately my
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: first instinct was like cringe, like roses. Don't send me roses.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: And then I thought, no, Chelsea, Chelsea, that's the old
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: you you've been to. This is a man who's demonstrating love.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Accept it, he loves you. I had to say it
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: like in my head three times, like this is a
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: nice thing you like, and I was like, okay, okay,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I love this. And then I embraced them, and thankfully
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I did, because he kept sending them over and over again.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: And then we started sending them back and forth to
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: each other before each other's shows and performances. And then
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: finally I was like, hey, can we put a pin
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: in this? It's getting really expensive. It's like fucking dollars
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: every time. I'm like this is some ways like we're
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: not taking them with us, We leave them at the venue.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Have you figured out what that thing is in us?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Because my mom has it too, and it's like she's
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: she's not a romantic so and then I feel like
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I picked it up from her, like I don't. I
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: feel like there's a part of me that wants the
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: romance but I don't. But I don't want to see
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: it overtly in my face. And I'm more like acts
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: of service. Right, we all know the five love languages? No, no, no,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: actually what are they? Because I always forget the fifth one? Okay,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So acts of service, physical touch, time spent, gifts, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: words of affirmation, and mine is definitely acts of service
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and maybe words of affirmation, like I don't need to
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: hear that I'm great because I know I am, but
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: it isn't I see it from my husband like I'm
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: really proud of you, or you did a great job.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: We're getting a vasectomy, right, that's an act of that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: That's why I was like, Wow, you're amazing. There is
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: like this period after you get a vasectomy, though, you
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: have like sixteen ejaculations that you have to go through
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: before the sperm is dead. So we're literally like we
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: have one to show during those sixteen you can still
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: get pregnant, yes, And did you freeze any eggs? Just
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: he actually put some sperm in a in a bank.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Oh well, there you go. He's not making me do anything.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it's amazing. He did all the hard
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: he did that part. I did my part. I was
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: gonna say he did the hard part, but his part
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: was definitely not that hard at all. That's so interesting
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: that you get sixteen. That's what the toxic number. He said.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: It's like sixteen or like three months something like that. Yeah,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: so I guess it's like in three months, maybe people
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: have sex sixteen times. That's what I was, like, whoa,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: we have three kids. That's not happening. So anyways, back
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: through the love languages, that's where I am so confused
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: at myself, Like Justin is like Joe, he's Mr Romantic.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: And now what I have noticed, and my mom has
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: had to train herself with her boyfriend is to accept
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: the love right except the romance. Otherwise, we train our
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: partners to to not be romantic, and then we start
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: looking for it and we're like, wait, you're not being
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: romantic anymore? Why are you? Where is that? So I've
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: actually had to reel back my like hard shell and
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: and accept it and then try out to step outside
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: of my comfort zone and send him flowers or like,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: you know, just write little cards and put them under
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: his pillow, you know, like things that you think of
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: people in their late teens do in the early teens. Whatever.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I like that I didn't really have a boyfriend in
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: my early teens. I think that's it's it's really all
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: about accepting, you know, like Joe has melted me. Everyone
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: says it, everyone like sees it, and I usually I
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: would be resistant to that. I'd be like, stop it,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: you know, like, but I've just given in because why not?
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Why fight it? And but I think it's just being
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: a tough chick. You want to be a tough chicken,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you don't, you know, it's a very common thing for
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: anybody who's independent, fears and really successful. You don't show
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of vulnerability because that's not what it took
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: to get you where you are. So I think that
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: bleeds over into our relationships. What once you know, somebody
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: means what they're saying and it's not bullshit. I think
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: what irks me a lot about that is that it
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: feels insincere many times, and when it is finally sincere,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: then you can be like Oh, like, I had a
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: boyfriend this he he was a real asshole, and he
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: would send me flowers like anytime we got into a fight,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: but I didn't. I hated that. It's like, don't send
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: me flowers. You say you're sorry and mean it. I'm
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: not just like some chick on the side. We're together.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: So when flowers are coming from an act of love
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: and it's just saying, oh, here, I'm demonstrating more and
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: more love to you, then it's easier to receive. I think.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I agree. Yeah, I always wondered if it was a
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: learned behavior from my mom, But I like your explanation.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: But I'm sure has learned from your mom, because your
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: mom is a tough cookie. Also, yeah, and yes, yes
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: she is. You're a gem. You're a gem, you are
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: and Joe is such a sweetheart. The two of you together.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I love it, and I know everybody's expressing it on
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: social media, like, oh my god, you guys are so
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: like it's so true though, it's so sweet. We were
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: walking through the city last night and I mean a
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: dozen people must have run up to us. They're like,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: you don't understand. We love you together. We love you,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: and I'm like we're like, oh thanks, so like you
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: don't understand, We're like we do, we understand we're together.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: But it's nice because women especially you know, like that
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: are my age or like oh wait, if you melted
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: and you found someone I was the ice green, then
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: anybody can. You know, it can happen. And it also
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: makes me believe in that for everyone. I believe everybody.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: As long as you don't settle and you say like
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: these are my standards, these are not moving regardless of
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: whether I'm with anyone or not, then somebody will meet
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: you right up there. And you know, standards with men
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: the last few years have had to get lower and
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: lower and lower. That's that's why it's so funny that
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I ended up with like, you know, a Filipino man,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: because I was just so out of gas with white guys.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I was like, listen, I have no more juice left
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: for you guys. It's too much. You know, you're to
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: a black man. I know, did you have a non
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: negotiable list? Like this is my non negotiables and if
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: if he doesn't have this, like I'm not even going
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: to see him. No. I made a list once with
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Sarah Silverman and She and I and my sister actually
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: all made lists because somebody had told me that they
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: had made a list and they had met their person.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: That's what I did. You did before you met justin. Yeah,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: it was important. I had just broken up with a guy,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: and then I realized that if I didn't make a list,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I wasn't going to meet the person that I wanted
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: to And then I also wanted to be single. And
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I got basically everything on that list. I don't remember
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: the list because it was over twelve years ago, but
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I wish I still had that list. Oh yeah, now
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: you probably wrote yours in your phone minds in my
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: notes section on my phone. So my list everything I
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: put skiing, and it's like you have to be a skier.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: But I made it. It was a really long list,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: but it wasn't shallow at all, Like it was deep
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: stuff like values, morals, la la la. You have to
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: be willing to stick your neck out for people. Don't
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: be an idiot, you know, the interest in traveling and
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: the ability to make it happen and the desire to
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: make it happen. But the one thing I put on
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: my list, said a man with a full head of
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: hair that was that was the one, the one shallow
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: thing that I vote, and so I fucking circle that
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: and I was just like, I sent it to Joe.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that is so funny that I sent a
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: full head of hair, Like I don't even think that
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: that was important to me. And then obviously it's not,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: which is why we're making Joe a hairpiece. We're not.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: We're not. I would never I only date bald Filipino
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: men from now on. That's my that's I think. But
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: he looks good, yeah, exactly, Well you'd have to. And
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: he has some hair that grows in, but it's he
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: just shaves it, which is exactly what I would want
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: a man to do, you know, just once things start
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: getting dicey, just shave it off. Yes, agreed. Okay, So Catherine,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: tell us what we have in store today. Actually, you know,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: we take callers some of our lives, some right in
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: and then we just give them life advice. It's really good.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I think you guys are really good at this. By
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: the way, Well we all try, right, yeah, right, Well,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: we have some extremely exciting cheating questions. We have two
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: people from the Midwest calling in, Uh, some moms stuff
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: dealing with friendship. Oh god, we have some weight loss
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: stuff and some booty stuff, all kinds of questions. But
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: we'll take a quick break and we'll come back with
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: some callers. Okay, sounds good, and we're back. Actually, let's
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: talk a little bit about Nicks before we go in,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: because I know you have a partnership with Nicks and
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: you're promoting your new lingerie line with them. Tell us
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: a little bit about that. First of all your boxes
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: in the mail. I cannot wait to shoot that lingerie.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Oh baby, it's come please, I mean talk about rocking
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: body and you are such goals your boobs. You don't
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: even know the conversations I've had with my mom about
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: your boobs. Now you have no idea. Oh I love that. No, seriously,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: it's just like the perfect handful. Anyways, Nis and Ashley Graham. Yes,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: we just launched my collaboration. Nix is really an amazing company.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: They actually started with the period panti and it's like
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: a leakproof panty and they turned it into the leggings
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: and they've got amazing bras and underwear, but everything is supportive.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: They go up to five X and they go down
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: to an extra small, so we're very inclusive, but it
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: really like I wanted to have something a little bit
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: sexier because they're very performance and solution based, so this
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: is their sexiest line yet, but also my most intimate
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: line because this is one of the first times I
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: came out after you know, shooting three kids out, first
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: first lingerie campaign, embracing my stretch marks, embracing my postpartum body,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: but also just excited to have something that feels sexy
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: and cozy. You can wear it wherever. Yeah, I mean,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: you have done so much for women in promoting your
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: body and accepting your body and loving your body, and
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: it's inspiring to me to women everywhere. I mean, you
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: really have opened the door for people to really be
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: themselves and to embrace all their little shortcomings or anything
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: that they think isn't deemed worthy by a man. Joe
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: once said to me. He said, we were in Hawaii
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: and I was putting on a bathing student and said,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: how bad is my cellulate And He's like, honey, cellulite
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: is what makes a woman a woman. The more cellulite,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: the merrier. I don't think he said the mayor here,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: but he said something like that, and then I, and
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, honey, I didn't even know that was
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: a sentence. I thought, I said, every woman needs to
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: hear that, because who doesn't have fucking cellulite. I mean,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: there are anomalies out there, but the stretch marks, the
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: cellulite that the you know, we all fluctuate up and down,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: you know, and what we see isn't seen by the world.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: It's all like an inside job. So you really are
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: I know you know that already, but I wanted to
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: tell you that personally, because yeah, it's good to hear
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: it now, especially living in my postpartum body and like
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: trying to get out of out of my head. Even today,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I showed up and I wasn't supposed to wear these
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: pants with this shirt, and I was running out the
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: door and they're really baggy on me, and my my
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: stretch marks are just hanging out today and that was
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: not the plan. And I called my stilace and I said,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: meet me outside of Chelsea Handler immediately with new pants,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: and he said, babe, I'm not in town. And I
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: did not realize that, so I just I just sucked
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: it up, but I embraced it, and I'm just like,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: here we go. And it's probably something neither of you
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: even notice, but it's in the back of my head.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: And that's the whole thing with body confidence, with the
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: body neutrality and just loving where you are in your
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: life is it's in your head. It's not in the
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: person's head that you're speaking to or that you're around. Yeah.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Something I've done more recently, and this is partly influenced
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: by you, is when I'm looking through photos for approvals
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: for some shoots, you know, or press photos, when they
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: send me a selection, I don't even look anymore like
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: to go and pick through them. I just let my
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: publicists pick what they think the best one is. And
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I don't go nuts like over if I don't like
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: a photo of myself and it's out there, it's like
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: who cares? Who gives a ship? You know? So that's
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: important and I think that also comes with age. It must,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I mean for me, it definitely has. I can only imagine,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: like walking into my forties, how much more confident I'm
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: going to be. I'm kind of excited. I'm not one
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: of those girls. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna be thirty
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: five and I'm gonna I'm going into my forties, isn't it.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm so excited to to get older. Yeah.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: I think that's the right attitude to have because I'm
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: forty seven and I was like, I just keep thinking
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fifty soon, and I'm like, I can't
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: fucking wait to be fifty. How I feel about sixty
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: is going to be a different story. But I'll get there.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I'll get there when I need to get there. If
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I make it that long, then I'm going to be
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: happy on the live last. Okay, so should we take
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: a caller? Well, our first email, the subject line is
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: we both cheated. It's from Maureen. She's a bartender in
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: her twenties. She says, Dear Chelsea, A couple of years ago,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: when I was twenty one, I was bartending at a
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: big bar where I live as on brand as ever.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I hooked up with my manager for a while. Later,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I found out he was still dating his girlfriend, who
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: had told me he'd broken up with. I did have
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: my speculations, but I honestly wasn't serious about him and
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: wasn't thinking about her enough to find out. I was selfish,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: she found out. Fast forward to now they have a
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: kid are engaged and he's almost two years sober, which
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I'm sure had something to do that. I'm happy for them.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: My problem is she goes to my gym. Now it's
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: awkward and obvious. We both know who the other is,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and sometimes I wonder if I should confront her and
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: apologize for the whole thing. Complicating things, she started a
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: blog and in one of her posts discusses his alcoholism
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: and their relationship story. I support the blog, but it's
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: hard because I'm the undertone as the toxic person in
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: the posts, while he's seen as the alcoholic boyfriend that
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: was just quote going through so much. I'm willing to
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: admit that sucked up. But what are your thoughts on
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: the narrative that I'm the monster? Do I reach out?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Her whole blog is based around kindness, and it doesn't
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: make sense how she can give so much forgiveness and
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: understanding toward him then paint me to be toxic and
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: horrible all in the same post. We both cheated in
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: respect for her, I've often not gone to events I
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: know she'll be at since we have mutual ends. I'm
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: no angel and I've made lots of mistakes in my twenties,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: but I'm also willing to admit them, especially if they
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: hurt someone. I finally want to stand up for myself.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: But then again, a part of me wonders if I'm
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: being selfish and just want to defend myself. I can't
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: be the only one out there that's felt this, Maureen,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: do you want to go first, Ashley? I actually really
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: want to know what you think. I've never cheated and
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I've never been cheated on. I don't think, yeah, I've
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: been cheated on, and I don't think I've cheated, but
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: maybe who knows. Um. First of all, no, don't do
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: anything because it's all in your head, like you're you're
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: having this whole narrative. You're letting her dictate how you
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: feel about yourself, and just let her go. Do her
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: blog first all, stop reading her blog, you know, block
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: yourself from that blog, and don't try to correct the situation,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: because that's ego, and that's any sort of defense is ego. Like,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: you don't need to be bigger than that. That was
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: a long time ago. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter that he was an alcoholic or was
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: going through an alcoholic phase, or however she wants to
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: frame it, and however she wants to frame your relationship.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: She's just trying to make herself feel better about that
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: period of time, and there's nothing you can do to
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: change her narrative. So the only thing you can do
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: is demonstrate that you're also a different person and act
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: like a bigger person, and then be a bigger person.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes when you start acting like a bigger person,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: it naturally happens that you become that. You know, It's
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: kind of like fake it till you make it. It
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: works like that. So yeah, you don't want to go
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: and correct the story. That's only going to result in
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: more icky behavior. And I think it's good that you
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: don't show up to parties that she's at, but that
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: also shouldn't be your rule of thumb. She's irrelevant kind
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: of to you. You've moved on. You both had a
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: past and that's not the present. I think that I
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: would just erase the blog, never go back on it.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: She's she's tormenting herself. I don't even know how to
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: read a blog, Like, how do you find blog is
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: a blog? Or she like posting this blog? So I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: didn't know people still did that, right, I don't know.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: It's not on my Space geo cities. I mean, it
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: definitely feels like this is my problem, and I'm twenty
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: years old, because as you get older, as you mature,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: this is not going to become your problem, right. And also,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: it's not her problem, it's his problem. If she really
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk about it, she should go to him,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: not her. Yeah, she knew what she was doing was wrong,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: but like I kind of take umbrage with the phrasing
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: of we both cheated because he's the one who cheated.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: She wasn't in a relationship. You know, she knew what
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: she was doing, but the phrasing is a little funky
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: for me. And anytime you want to go correct a
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: situation where you screwed up and so much time has elapsed,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: all you're doing is reminding people what you represented and
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: during that time, instead of setting new impressions on those people,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: which it sounds like you have the opportunity. It sounds
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: like she has the opportunity to do. Between the gym
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: and mutual friends parties, it's like, just go in there
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: and be your new self and so that they know
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: that's not who you are anymore, and you don't have
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: to correct any of that narrative. I was talking to
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: a friend the other day and it's like, oh, I
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: should apologize about this thing that happened like three months ago.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, don't bring it up again. No, but you know,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: you're just kind of doing the opposite of what your
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: intention is. So yeah, zip it, get off her blog
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: and then find out why she still has a blog exactly. Well.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Our next question comes from Shannon, and she is calling
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: in from Iowa. She says, Dear Chelsea, and I'm a
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: twenty five year old new mom to my daughter, Salem.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for advice on how to handle my friendships
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: because not one of my friends have come to meet
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: my baby. I'm stuck wondering whether or not it's my
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: responsibility to schedule these meetings, or if my friends are
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: being kind of shitty towards me by not making an
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: effort to meet her. Salem is now five months old.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I have a very small group of friends too, from
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: high school and three from college. They were all either
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: in my wedding or in attendance, and they all attended
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: the baby shower. One lives five hours away. Everyone else
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: is a one to three hour drive. The two from
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: high school come home every couple of months, sometimes more.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: All of these friendships are pick up where we left
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: off types, but I regularly snapchat all of them and
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: send pictures of Salem. I sent everyone a message when
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: she was maybe two months old, saying that I was
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: sad none of my friends have met her yet, and
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I hope they get the chance to meet her soon,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: even if it's just for a quick lunch. Everyone responded,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: of course, and that they were so excited to meet her,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: and yet nothing has happened in the three months since.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I told myself that that message would be the last
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: time I would try to force meeting her on them,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: and if they chose to not try to see us,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: then it's their loss. But I'm still sad that the
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: people I consider my friends haven't shown up for me.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I understand that we're in different phases of life, none
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: of them having kids and only one being married, but
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: I'm confused as to why I haven't had any support.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Not everyone is excited about kids, but this is such
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: an important part of me. My husband says I need
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: to drop them, but I don't want to do that
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: and be left with no friends. And I do care
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: about these people. I hate that this is negatively affecting
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: my mental health during such a special time in my life.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Lots of love, Shannon, Hi Shannon, Hello, Hi Shannon. This
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: is our special guest, Ashley Graham. Today. You've got two
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: of us, well, you've got three of us because Katherine Sarah,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: She's she's running the whole operation. Yeah, good morning everyone,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Good morning. I'm so sorry to hear about that. Yeah,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: it's been kind of tough. I totally understand where you're
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: coming from. Sorry to jump in here, but this is
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: exactly what happened to me just f y I. I
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: had a very very very small friend group and the
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: people who wanted to meet Isaac they came over and
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: they met Isaac and they said when can I come?
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: I'm coming. And the few people who didn't really reach out,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: they're just not a part of my life anymore. And
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: it's really bizarre how these big life moments can cut
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: out the weeds. And when I say the weeds, I
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: mean the people who really aren't in it for you.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I will say I did have to put it on
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: myself and say hey, hey, if you want to come over, like,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: here's your parameters. I would give everybody like two hour
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: windows because when you have when you know you're a
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: new mommy, you're exhausted, your baby is tired. People like
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: to overstay, they're welcome. So I definitely gave people two
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: our windows. But the few people that were excited to
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: come over made an effort. Some people even flew in.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: It was some of the local people that didn't make
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: an effort. And I will also tell you I only
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: speak to two people in my wedding and I had
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: six bridesmaids, just to put in perspective for you, so
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: that also happens. It sucks, and it feels so isolating.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: You feel like you have no one. You feel like
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: they're it's kind of this place where how am I
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: going to get out of this? Who else can I
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: speak to? You will get out of it, You just
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: have to stay strong. And I started journaling, like actually
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: like pen to paper journaling instead of on the computer.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're in such a transitional part of your life.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I know when I lived in a different city than
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: my friends, it was like when you're home and you
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: have just a couple of days or a week it's
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: really harder than you think to see everybody, you know.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think I would say, like giving them
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: that specific time of like, you know what, why don't
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: you come over on Tuesday, We'll have a little brunch,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: come over for momosas or whatever. Giving them those specifics
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I think might make it a little more accessible for
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: them to to take you up on the offer, rather
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: than having it just be a broad invitation of like
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: come over whenever. Yeah, And I think coming from somebody
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: who doesn't have kids, whose friends have kids, like anyone
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: who is meaningful to me, I would make the time.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: There definitely have been friends of mine that have a
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: baby and and it's all consuming, which it is. It's
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: totally is, but it doesn't feel like there's gonna be
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: any friend time. So I feel like everything we do
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: is always going to be around the baby, right, which
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: is totally reasonable. I mean, you're we said you your
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: baby is five months old, right, so obviously that is
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: going to be all consuming. But I think for your
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: friends that don't have babies that maybe can't relate to that,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: you can offer them up like, hey, I want to
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: see you guys, regardless, I want you to meet the baby.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: We don't have to spend the whole day with the baby,
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: but I want it's meaningful to me, as you guys
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: are my close friends, for you to meet the baby,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: and then we can have a nice group lunch or
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: do our own thing, you know, and you can have
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: the baby. If you have a babysitter, your husband can
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: watch her for a couple of hours, so you guys
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: can go to lunch and catch up. But you know,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: so that you can get both of those things in
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: so that you still have your individuality within that group.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: And they're also paying you the respect of meeting your child,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: which is an important thing for you to have them
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: do because it's important for you to have your own
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: individuality outside of mommy world. Two yeah, I think sometimes
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: single women who aren't parents are sometimes overwhelmed by people
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: when they have babies because of their inability to relate
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: to that. So just keep that in the back of
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: your mind and just try to like give them specific options.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I when can we do this. Let's set up a
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: time you guys can come over and meet the baby
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: and then we can either have lunch at the house
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: or we can go out do our mimosas whatever. You
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: and your girlfriends like to get up to. Yeah, I
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: mean that sounds good. I have just been struggling with
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: the fact that I have reached out and I have
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: been like, please tell me when you're in town so
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: we can try to schedule something, and then they never
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: say anything that's specifically. Like my high school friends, my
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: college friends, on the other hand, they don't have a
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: reason to be here other than for me, And you know,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: they all say that they're so excited to meet her,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: and then just nothing ever happened. So it's kind of
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: a weird predicament that I'm in whether or not I
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: need to be the one stepping out all the time,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: or if they need to take this on their backs too.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean, speaking from experience, it's going
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: to be on you because you're the one with the gift,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: right your your child was a gift to this world,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: and you want to share your gift with the people
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: that you love so much, and the people around you
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: are going to be so excited, But they also don't
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: understand what you're going through. They don't understand the sleepless nights,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: they don't understand what you're going through with formula breastfeeding,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: whatever is going on in your relationship, and so they
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: can't see that. So you really have to put yourself
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: out there in a way that feels maybe uncomfortable for
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you right now. But if you are so adamant about
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: these college friends meeting your gorgeous little daughter, which I
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: love her name by the way, um, yeah, that is
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: truly going to be on you to show your gift
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: to the people that you love so much. And then
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: once that door is open, then you will see who
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: really like wants to be a part of her life
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: and still be a part of your new life, because
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: your life is completely changed now and there are probably
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: some people in your life or that were in your
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: life that you don't want in your life anymore. And
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: this is just showing you everybody's cards. And I don't
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: think you should be offended by it. I think that
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: you're young and you're figuring it all out now and
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: you should actually be grateful. Yeah. Yeah, definitely is going
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: to be very eye opening to see who is wanting
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: to stick around in our lives and who just really
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: doesn't care anymore. And that's what my husband has been
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: saying to me. But I think it's just been kind
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: of hard to come to grips with the fact that
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: those people who have always been here for me so
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: consistently just haven't made the effort. And that's just been
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: hard to come to terms with big life events. Big
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: life events weddings, kids, divorce, and funerals. That's where you
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: figure out who your real friends are. Yeah, and you know,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I like that you said that, actually, that you're not
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: speaking to half of your bridal party anymore, because I
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: think that's that's so true. It's so true, and it's like,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: it's definitely true for me. I I have friendships that
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: have ended throughout my entire life, and I always have
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: new ones sprouting up, so there's always a revolving door
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: in my life. I have some very old friends, but
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of my friendships, you know, our first short
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: periods of time or ten years, and then we kind
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: of drift off or something happens and we get into
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: an argument or you know, who knows, And but I
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: think you should just I know it hurts, but it's
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: also the cycle of life, Like people come in and
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: out for different reasons, and you should be open. Also
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: as a new mother. I'm sure you're doing lots of
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: things that involve other new mothers. You know, you have
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: the opportunity to meet new friends and make new relationships
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: and cultivate those things, and there's going to be exciting
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: relationships within those relationships as well, So you're holding onto
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: kind of holding onto the past in a way, and
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: you can definitely call them out and say like, hey,
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: this is it. I really need you guys to step up,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: and then now's the time, and just be prepared for
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: some of them not to be able to do that. Yeah,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely prepared for my heart to be broken a
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: little bit by those friendships. And I guess this is
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: just kind of where we're at in life. I'm just
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: in such a different place, I think than everybody else.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: And you know, they go out naval party and everything
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: like that and take trips and enjoy, you know, not
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: being tied down like this, and I'm at home and
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I'm really content doing that. I just wish, you know,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I had a little more support. But I have a
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: great family system around me. My husband's parents are in town.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: My parents are really close by, so we do get
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of time with them, and that's been really
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: supportive over you know, these past five almost now six months.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: That's what you have to focus on. Yeah, be grateful
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: for the things that you do have. So many people
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: don't have their parents right when you're raising a child.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: You have two sets. I mean, that's really lucky. So
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: focus on the positive. You know, you like your in laws, Wow,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: that's really great. Yeah, No, they're they're an awesome support
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: system for us. And my mom takes for multiple days
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: a week, and you know, I couldn't ask for anything better.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: There really are the best. And also these phases they
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: go away, like enjoy this phase and then the next phase.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: You know, it's it's all about the phases. I'm That's
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: what I keep telling myself at least, and always remember
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: like whenever you're going through a difficult time, there's sunshine
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: around the corner, Like you don't know how quickly things
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: are going to turn and who's going to show up
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: for you surprisingly or what new people are going to
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: come into your life. No, like bad phase or feelings
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: hurt last for that long. It's always just a little moment.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: It's ephemeral and it will move on and then something
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: else is just around the corner. Yeah, I definitely try
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: to keep that in perspective. It's kind of hard right now,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: you know, losing all the people that I was so
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: close too. But that's great advice, and I hope I
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: can really remember that going forward. I wrote a farewell
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: letter to my one friend. I didn't give it to her,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: but I wrote it to her, and it was heartbreaking.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: It was actually on Thanksgiving before I gave birth to
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: the twins, and it was really hard for me to
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: write it, and it was like almost twenty year relationship.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: And I will say, like, it's it's important to write
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: this out. It's important to get it out of your
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: body because you're storing trauma right now. And it's not
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: that big of a trauma, but it's trauma that's going
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: to build. And that's not something you want to pass
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: on to your kids because it's little now, but it's
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: going to be bigger later. So get it out of
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: your body. That's a great that's great advice. Actually I'm
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: going to take that because I have a friendship that ended,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: a long one and a close one, and I have
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: so much I want to say. You get all this
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: stuff stored up and you just keep recirculating in your brain,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: and like, who wants that energy inside them. No, and also,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: you know, when you write an email, like I would
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: suggest writing an email to all these girls you can
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: see see them all, or do it individually and just
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: put your heart on your sleeve and just be very
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: honest without being necessarily needy in that you're more making Yeah,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: you're making a statement, not accusatory. But this is how
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: this makes me feel. This is what happened. This is
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed. I really hope that you guys would
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: have more interest or you know, stepped up to me
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: my baby. But I understand if this is you're you're
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: not in this place in your lives. I get that,
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: but I think you should show them, you know, let
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: them know that you're hurt. Most importantly, Yeah, I definitely
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: don't want to make anybody feel like I'm being accusatory
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: or super mean or anything like that, because I genuinely
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: am sad. And that's what I kind of told them
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: a couple of months after she was born, is that
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I was just sad and I said it in a
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: nice way, but maybe I didn't say it directly enough,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: and I might need to go out of my way
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: to say it a little more direct to them. People
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: cannot read your mind. I have learned that one. Yeah,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: and it's back to what Ashley said about putting yourself
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: in a kind of like uncomfortable zone. You know, just
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: put yourself in a situation that may not be you,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: but you gotta stretch your legs a little to get
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: your point across so that you can feel good about
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: it ten years down the road or five years down
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: the road. I mean, I think that's the key about
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: getting older, is when you have these kind of confrontations
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: or conflicts, to handle them with grace and dignity so
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: that when you look back, you don't you're not mad
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: at yourself for acting childishly. Yeah, because I'm kind of
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: mad at myself right now for not saying stuff sooner
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: and not being direct enough. So yeah, I think the
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: email and maybe reaching back out again and giving them
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: more specifics is going to be helpful. You just tell
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: them you talk to your therapist Chelsea and Ashley, and
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: then maybe you'll get an email back. Yeah. I think
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: that will be super helpful. It's basically like talking to
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Dr Phil and Oprah. Hello very much. Yeah, thank you, Shannon,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Thanks Sanna, get up with everything. Let us know how
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: it goes okay, follow up. Yeah, thank you so much, guys,
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Congratulations, Yeah, thank you, thank you. By bye.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: That must feel so solitary, like so lonely. Yeah, you
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: feel isolated. It's a disgusting feeling. But at LEAs she
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: has her husband, like she said, her family, like that's
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: a big deal. But having that outside community also makes
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: a big difference. She just sounds like she needs to
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: go out with some friends, she needs to join a
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: mommy and me group or whatever the net without the kids.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: One night, just one right, right, right. So when you
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: wrote that letter, you were you planning on just writing
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: it for yourself or did you think maybe you're going
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: to send it to your friend. So I'm worked with
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: my midwives. I did home births and one of the
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: biggest things in doing a home birth is trusting your body.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: And my midwives actually make you go through this thing.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: It's therapy session called havening, and it's touch therapy where
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: you bring up past traumas that you deal with in
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: the moment before you walk into home birth. And this
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: is this is for any part of your life, like
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: it does. It's not just surrounded by birth, but it's
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: surrounded by traumas, and but you do it on the
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: day you're going to give me, No, you do it
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: beforehand so that your body is in full trust mode
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: and that your baby, which epigenetics they can feel everything
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: you're feeling, also is in full trust mode. So my
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: twins were both head down and then one of them
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: went head up breach and he kept flipping and they
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: were like, are you going through something thing? And I'm like,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: what do you mean going through something? And they were like,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: is everything okay at home? Like what's up with your family?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: And then justin kind of looked at me and he
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: said my friend's name. And I was like, it's not that,
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: and she looked at me and she said, so it's that.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: And I just started crying. And she said, these things happen,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: like big life decisions or changes in your life, like
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: having a baby are going to move people in and
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: out of your life. And she said the only way
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: to get around this and for you to have a successful,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: not not unsuccessful birth, but like an even easier birth,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: is to get this out. And and that's why I
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: told her. I was like, you need this is like
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: in you and it needs to come out. So that
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: you're not passing this along. And that's what I did.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: That's when I wrote the letter to her, and it
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: was all on Thanksgiving and it was like surrounded by
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: the holidays because we've always been the holidays together and
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I my intention at the time wasn't to send it
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: to her, It was just to get it out. I've
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: been thinking about maybe sending it because I want something
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: like I want a door closed because it feels still
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: feels really wide open, but I feel so good that
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: it's out of my body. Yeah, I'm going to do that.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: I have a similar situation, and I think I'm going
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: to do that because yeah, anytime I think about it,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: it's just those thoughts that circulate, like how hurt I
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: am about this, and how I can't believe that and that,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: and and it's like, God, I know better to to
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: then to have those kinds of toxic thoughts circulating in
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: your body, you're just doing damage everything you would say
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: and all those little it's like high school thoughts, you know.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I can only compare it to that kind of like
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: small small mindedness when we let those ideas corrode are
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: kind of like being and it builds up in your body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well,
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: our next caller is Quinn, she says, Dr Quinn Medicine woman.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Let's hope better be She says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: struggled with losing weight and all its implications. I've been overweight,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: or at least perceived to be overweight, most of my life.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Every time I begin my lifestyle changes and tried to
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: be healthier, I always hit the roadblock of this question,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: should I be losing weight to try and love myself
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: more in game confidence or focus more on loving my
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: current body and let the lifestyle changes follow. Dating also
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: plays a part in all of this. We're currently I
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: haven't had much luck dating. I fear that if I
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: lose weight, I will in the back of my head
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: always think would they have dated me when I was overweight?
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: I know, no matter what, I need to be healthy
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: and make these lifestyle changes, but I know that's not
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: going to happen until my mindset is in the right place. Quinn. Hi, Quinn, Hi,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: how's it going good? How are you hi? Quinn? How
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: are you good? Well? We have the Body Positivity Guru
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: studio today, so I'm gonna let you take the lead
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: on this I was just thinking, God, I've totally been
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: in your shoes, and I've always wondered, God, if I
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: lost weight, would he be with me because I lost
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: the weight? Or you know, it's like, should I get
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: even bigger and then start dating and you know, just um,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: just out of spite for whoever I end up with.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: And then I realized, God, I'm really going at this
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: the wrong way. I totally hear you, and I know
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: how your brain is going a million miles a minute,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: and you go to sleep thinking about your weight, You
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: wake up thinking about your weight. When you go out
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: and you're eating, you think about your weight, You think
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: about your weight when you're getting dressed. I know that feeling,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: and the best thing for you to realize is that
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: it's not going to go away until you face it
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: head on. And there's so many different ways to face
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: it head on where you can actually write out your
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: affirmations that I have done and I have preached about
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: a million times, you know, have them on your mirror,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: have them on notepads, have them recorded into your phone
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: about how you feel and how you want to feel.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I always say, like, don't lie to yourself. Give yourself
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: attainable goals in in your affirmations. But you know, this
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: is something that's that's either going to plague you for
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: the rest of your life or you can actually meet
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: it where you are. And I had to do that.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: And I have to say even now, like I just
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: popped out a few kids and I'm forty something pounds
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: up and I think about that number and I don't
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: get on the scale because of it. I don't put
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: on certain clothes because of it, because it's like this
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: like looming thing in the back of my mind, like
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: when is it going to go away? Will it ever
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: come off on my body? Blah blah blah. You know
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: exactly what I'm talking about. But it's something that a
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: You're doing a great job in coming here and talking
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: about it, because this is going to feel really good
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: when you get off of this call and be you
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: just have to like start an action, like whatever that
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: action is for you, whether it's the writing it down
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: and actually seeing the words, or having the out loud
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: conversations with yourself, or making sure that you know you're
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: not changing who you are for somebody else. I think
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: that that's really important to remember. But by the way,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: like no matter what your body is your temple, so
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: take care of it. Don't change it because of of
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: somebody else's perception or even the perception of yourself. Yeah,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: and I think you know, your goal really is to
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: be healthy and strong, right, Like, that's what we all
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: want out of life. We want to be durable, we
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: want to last a long time, and we want to
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: be healthy and strong. So taking those steps to get
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: there is going to help you feel better about yourself
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: because you know that you're actually, you know, eating clean
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: food and healthy food and not bullshit. I read this
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: quote from Barack Obama once how he was He He's like,
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: I eat for fuel, not for you know, Like, and
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you, you're a guy, you know,
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: not everybody's eating for fuel. I don't understand people. But
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: but what But there's a variation of that where it's like, what,
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: what are you putting into your body that's going to
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: help you be strong and fit? And you know what,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: that doesn't mean being a certain weight. It means being healthy,
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: minded about yourself and your appearance, knowing that you're taking
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: care of yourself. You know, I didn't drink water for
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: the longest time, so I just hated the flavor of
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: it because there is none. So I now have to
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: doctor up my water with my little lemon packets every
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: morning like a psychopath in order for me to drink
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: a liter of water every day. But every day I'm like,
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: every time I take a sip of the water, I'm like,
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: you're helping yourself. You're you know, you're hydrating your body.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: You're hydrating your body. Like it's whatever your bad habits are.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: If you can flip those, the mental game that that
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: plays gives you a lot of self esteem and a
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: lot of self respect. But that takes a lot of work,
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I will say, because I'm at a place where, like
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I am a rewarder. Food is a rewarder for me.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you guys, but like this is
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: how I was raised, and so the plate has to
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: be clean and and if I did like a good
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: job for whatever that thing was that day or week,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: it's like what am I eating? So I hear you,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: but I'm still working on that because it's like, oh,
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: fuel my body. Yes, I can feel my all day long.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I've got like a charcuderie board in the car waiting
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: for me when I get out of here. However, However,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: it's like, am I going to treat myself to a
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: handful of peanut eminem's later? Yeah? Probably. So it's all
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: about balance. Everything is balanced, and it's a hard place
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: to get to. Yeah, And you're not going to be
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: perfect all the time. I'm not. I mean, I was
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: just telling Joe in my hotel room this weekend. I
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: went to go open a bag of potato chips and
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: I couldn't even be like a normal person about it.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I had to bite it open and then the whole
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: thing fucking exploded all over my room. And then I
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, funk those, I'll go get a chocolate.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: They had this chocolate toffee bar and I did the
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: same thing. I ripped it open. The whole thing crashed
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: open on the bed, and I just looked like a
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: revolting pig. And I'm like, well, see this is what
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: you get for like eating in haste like that, you know,
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: when you still eat it. No, No, I had to
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: clean it up. It was all over the place. I've eaten, thanks, listen,
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: I'm eating things out of the Okay, let's not pretend
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: that I haven't. I once had an egg McMuffin in
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: my glove, come apartment overnight and ate it. So I'm
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: not going to pretend I'm above that. But I think
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: as long as you start to cultivate little healthy habits,
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: they don't have to be a mandate for your life.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Little healthy habits, you know, like you're gonna end your
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: day with this meal, or you're gonna start your day
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: with this meal, and just think about nourishing yourself and
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: giving your Like last night we were at sushi and
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: the last thing I wanted with spinach. But I'm like, no,
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I want something green at every meal, Like I have
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: to do that for my health. You know, it's a
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: good people have said instead of taking away, add to
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: the plate, right, Yeah, when you eat all that stuff,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: you know, if you fill up on good stuff for
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: your body, your body doesn't crave all the bad stuff
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: after a while. So you just have to just start
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: cultivating healthier habits, and you know it will, it will
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: get easier, and it will make it will do the
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: thing for your mind that all the things that Ashley
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: is talking about and work in conjunction with that, you know,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: giving yourself positive affirmations, reminding yourself that your body is
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: here to carry you through so take care of it
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: and treat it with respect, and also just get out
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: there start dating, right. It doesn't matter what size you are.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: There is somebody who will be like into you for
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: who you are. If you're ready to start dating and
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: you're feeling good with yourself, yeah, and then once you
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: start sucking somebody that you like, and you're not going
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: to have that much of an appetite. Okay. Anybody who
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: falls in love knows that lose ten pounds right off
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: the back because you're just like, all I want to
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: do is have sex. Yeah, how much way did you lose?
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: Joe's lost thirty pounds, so he's the hot body in
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: the relationship, and I just do I keep putting on weight.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, but but back the funk up with your body, buddy.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: Then you start eating? Yeah yeah yeah, once you get happy,
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: then you started eating. That's like, when can we eat again?
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: I'm already thinking about food. You're talking about it. I'm like,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: what am I going to have? But anyway? You know
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, I definitely start dating. That's gonna
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: be fun. You want to go have fun with guys
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: or girls or who what whatever you're into? Yeah, I
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: think I'm in listening to you guys stuff too. I've
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: realized too that anyone that I want to be with,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: it's also just gonna agree with like the values I
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: have and like my lifestyle, and like, I'm not going
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: to choose someone who's like, no, you look bad or
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: you know, I want you to get to this point.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: I obviously with just day one that's the red flag
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: and I wouldn't die with them day one. Yeah, I think, yeah,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: this very helpful and I will definitely start to do
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: some of that. Are you on any dating apps, Quinn? Yeah,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: I'm on you know, like the typical three Bumble, Tinder
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: and Hinge, and I go through waves. You know, it
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: gets kind of boring going through the same questions over
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: and over again, like oh, what do you do? How
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: are you doing? You know, what have you been up to?
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: And I also get kind of loyal for where if
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to someone, I'll just like, oh, I'll just
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: keep talking to them, and then I'll fizzle out and
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh, I just lost out on all
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: these other matches or you know, no, you have to
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: talk to like twenty people at the same time. This
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: is what I left my mom. Like four years ago,
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: she finally started online dating, and she did a car
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: ride from California to New York and she had her
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: bumble on and went on dates throughout the country and
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: met and ended up meeting the guy she's with now
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: and they've been together for three years. And I have
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: to say, like, you have to talk to everybody at
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: the same time, because that's what everybody else is doing.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: I don't have any experience in this. This is all
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: watching my mother do this. That's a great idea for
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: any woman. I could do a road trip across the
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: country and just meet up with different guys. She was
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: with her friends. Yeah, yeah, perfect. Well, thank you so much, Quinn.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: I appreciate having on. Thank you and congrats to actually
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: on your twins and Chelsea. I saw you in December.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: I believe in Madison here, so it was a great show.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Thanks for that. Thanks for coming, Quinn. I love that. Yeah,
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: thank you, bye bye. Oh. Everyone just needs a little
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: confidence booster, right Madison, Wisconsin. I love it there. You're
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: from Nebraska. Yes, yeah, that's another great place. I've performed
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: in Omaha. I was just I was just in Birmingham, Alabama,
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: and I was like, it was one of the best
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: shows I've ever had. Another one was oh maaha, and
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: the other one was Louisville, Kentucky. Places where you think
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: you're gonna go and you're just like, oh God, this
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: isn't gonna be and every time it was awesome. Yeah,
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: because there's those liberal pockets of people there that are
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: dying for it, right. They need togetherness and progressiveness, and
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: they're living in a state like those cities are all
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: always like democratic and it's just the rest of the
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: state that has issues. Anyway. Anyway, what's well? So? Our
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: last question comes from Travis. Travis says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: a thirty seven year old guy who got many of
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: the Gay Jean's designed decor, theater, et cetera, but not
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: the skincare Gauy jen. In short, I could give a
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: shit about skincare. I use a moisturizer with SPF, but
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: do nothing else for my face beyond an occasional splash
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: of water in the shower. My skin is pretty normal,
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: nothing problematic except my behavior. I recently heard someone complimented
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: on his beautiful skin and thought how nice it would
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: be to receive such praise One day do you have
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: any products or regimens you'd recommend to stop my uncared
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: for face from falling off or bursting into flames or
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: whatever else is eventually going to happen as I slide
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: into my forties. Travis, Well, I'm gonna let you go
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: to the skincare thing because you have I'm sure more
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: tricks than I do. I was gonna say, don't you
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: have like skincare? Like, aren't you like into it? Your
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: skin is always glowing? Oh well, thank you. But I
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: would want to say to Travis, this is why you
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: have everything to look forward to. I didn't start washing
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: my face. I still don't wash my face, let's be honest.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: And I did my my sisters. I blame them and
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: my mother for not teaching me how to wash my face.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't wash my face until I was in my thirties,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: and then I and then I just couldn't get into
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: the habit because I never had it. So if you
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: start taking care of your skin now, Travis, you're going
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: to see such a difference because you have so many
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: layers of like a dermist that you have not exfoliated.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: So all you need is a good exfoliator to wash
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: yourself at night and then put on a moisturizer. I
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: use a serum and moisturizer in the morning and at night,
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: and that does the trick. I have to say. First
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: of all, just go go get a facial like you're
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: gonna feel a difference from like when you before you
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: had it and then after. And then secondly, I am
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: such a fan of this new line called fig one.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I invested in it. I'm not a celebrity indorser. I
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: invested because it actually works. We should send you something.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: By the way, It's scientifically proven to work on so
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: many different skin types whatever your quote issue is. And um,
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: you can take an online test for free. Their dermatologistettle
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: send me the whole regiment. But like they play nice
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: in the medicine cabinet, so whatever you're already using, you
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: just add this into the mix. But it sounds like
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: he just needs like hyaluronic acid and maybe salonic acid.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: Good for everybody. I think it's not terrible for most people.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: Oh I thought it was. I thought some people don't
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: react well to that, but I could be misinformed. I
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: mean I use it twice a week, and Justin uses
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: one once a week, so that's two completely different skin types.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: Justin's skin tone is like uneven and he wants it
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: to become more even. And then also being black on
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: top of it makes it harder to figure out what
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: products are right for him, and he's been using fig one.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: So anyways, Travis, I don't know what your actual skin
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: type is, but it just sounds like he just needs
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: a little TLC. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Once you start a
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: little bit, you're gonna notice, like if your skin is
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: okay now and you start taking care of it, it's
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: gonna be good, and then you're gonna get that glowy,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: dewey feeling. And also, if if you have dry skin,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: you can use a serum and a moisturizer. If you
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: have oily skin, you shouldn't use a serum. You should
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: just use a moisturizer and then get the hyaluronic acid
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: from Big One. Hello. But also like props for using
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: the SPF. That's like the most important thing. Well, let's
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: up with Ashley and Chelsea, and we're back. Welcome back, girl. Well, Ashley,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: I wanted to ask if you have any advice you'd
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: like from Chelsea, Chelsea parenting, Do you want some parenting
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: advice for me? Okay, So my biggest thing right now
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: staying motivated in the gym. It's hard because I'm breastfeeding
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: and I know you like to smoke weed, and like,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that doesn't get you motivated to go to
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: the gym, So, like, what's that motivator for you? Because
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: my crutch right now is breastfeeding? What just keeps you going?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: Because your abs? I mean, oh you're so sweet. I mean,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: I really do work out hard because I like to
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: be strong, and it's I I like to be fit
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: also and look lean, but I just love it's like addicting,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: you know. Now, even I'm on the road, I hit
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: the gym and I just do my own stuff with
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: weights and stuff. And what I've realized so much about
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: after forty is that, like cardio is not the thing
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: that keeps you lean. It's weights, heavy, heavy weights. And
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: I think my motivation is just seeing the results, Like
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I know it works. I used to think weights, We're
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: gonna make me bulky, even when I was heavier and
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: not as muscular. I thought, oh, I'm just I have
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: to lose the weight first, and then do the weights
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: and it's like, no, I just started weight training and
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: the fact kind of came off. So I know there's
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of people think you have to do so
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: much cardio, and it's like, don't kill yourself with cardio
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: because it stresses your body out, especially when you're breastfeeding
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: and you have like your cortisol levels. You want to
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: keep them down not up, because that makes you hold
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: onto your weight. And the other thing that I think
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: motivates me is I can do things that a lot
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: of people that I know who work out a lot
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: can't do. So when I keep getting stronger like that,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh, I'm plus, I'm older, Like I'm
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: the strongest I've ever been at forty seven I was,
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: I'm stronger than I was when I was thirty five,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: So like, you know, I can kick ass and I
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: fucking like that. You know, That's it's like a part
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: of me now. The results, Like once you get yeah,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: you know, like you just feel like, yeah, it feels good.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: Have you done plates? Are you into that? Yeah, I've
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: done a lot of pilates. Yeah, there's a class in
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: l A that I love FORMA. Have you tried it yet? No,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: you'll have to go also into you Okay, yeah, yeah,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: but I guess that's my motivator. I just like I
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: like to feel, yeah, the results, and I like to
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: feel like a badass when I get in there and
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: I go, no matter what, it doesn't matter what shape
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: I'm in. That's how I was before babies, and I think,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: I think I'll get back there. But it's nice to
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: hear it again. Yeah. You know, once you start seeing results,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: like you're saying you're up forty pounds, I would not
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: have known that. But if you're you know, once you
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: start getting closer to what you want, you're like, oh,
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: then you get really on the train. But I mean
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: you have little babies, so it's a different situation right now.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: Life is different. Yeah, So there you go. That's my
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: Those are my two cents and you can suck on
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: that pipe. Okay, Well, all of our callers and writers
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: in please keep in touch with us because we love
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: follow ups. We love of progress reports and follow ups.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't pay attention in school, so that's why I
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: feel like I like a curriculum and a structure. Now
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: with this podcast, I like reportings after the fact, after
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: we've talked to you. I want to find out what happened.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: And we've had so many positive outcomes come out of this.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: It's just like we're freeing the whole world. Yeah, thank
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: you for Asty Braham. We love you so much. I
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: love you, I adore you. I'm so glad we got
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: to see each other. Me too, Yeah, I love in person.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: I know. I'm so thankful to see you too. Yeah,
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: come out to Jesse. I will. I definitely will. I'm
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: performing in Montclair next week. I have two shows in Montclair.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: I'll be in Jersey. Fantastic. Bye bye. So if you'd
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at Dear
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.