Latest / Coffee and Bible Time Podcast / Loving Like Jesus (Even When It's Hard) │ Jada Edwards

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Loving Like Jesus (Even When It's Hard) │ Jada Edwards · Coffee and Bible Time Podcast

• 1:01
  Ellen Krause: At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:03
  Ellen Krause: Our goal is to help you delight in God's Word and thrive in Christian living.
• 1:07
  Ellen Krause: Each week we talk to subject matter experts who broaden your biblical understanding, encourage you in hard times and provide life-building tips to enhance your Christian walk.
• 1:18
  Ellen Krause: We are so glad you have joined us.
• 1:25
  Ellen Krause: Welcome back to the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:28
  Ellen Krause: This is Ellen, your host, and today we are going to go on a journey to learn how to transform your relationship with God and people.
• 1:37
  Ellen Krause: You know we often underestimate God's idea of love, but with the right definition and intentional action, everything can change in any relationship.
• 1:50
  Ellen Krause: We're going to talk about limits holding you back from fully experiencing God's love, how to shift from earthly definitions of love to the divine definition, and how to be curious, free, brave, resilient and real in all your relationships.
• 2:06
  Ellen Krause: Today we are joined by someone whose voice, wisdom and love for Jesus have been such a gift to many.
• 2:14
  Ellen Krause: Jada Edwards is an author, speaker, bible teacher and mentor.
• 2:19
  Ellen Krause: She and her husband planted One Community Church in Plano, texas, where she serves in a number of leadership roles and mentors and teaches women regularly.
• 2:30
  Ellen Krause: She's a devoted wife and mom and she's here today to talk about her brand new book, a New Way to Love your Neighbor, that released just last week, jada.
• 2:40
  Ellen Krause: Congratulations and welcome to the show, thank you, thank you, and thank you for having me.
• 2:45
  Ellen Krause: Well, we are so honored to have you, you know, at Coffee and Bible Time.
• 2:49
  Ellen Krause: We believe that our relationship with God directly shapes how we relate to others.
• 2:56
  Ellen Krause: Transformation in both areas can be deeply personal and powerful.
• 3:03
  Ellen Krause: Can you share why transforming your relationship with God and with people has been personally important to you About three years ago.
• 3:18
  Jada Edwards: It came out of just some personal relationships where I was trying to figure out how to navigate them well, frustrated marriage stuff, where I was like you know, lord, fix these people, the thing that we often ask and the Lord's like I think we're going to do that differently, and just this idea of what it meant to love the way the Lord has loved me just started to resonate with me differently.
• 3:42
  Jada Edwards: A few years ago he impressed upon my heart that you know, jada, you have a love issue, and I was like, no, I love you, lord.
• 3:47
  Jada Edwards: You know I do.
• 3:48
  Jada Edwards: But the issue was that I was loving the things I wanted from the Lord more than the Lord himself.
• 3:54
  Jada Edwards: I was loving the things that God was giving me, or things that I may have been expecting.
• 4:00
  Jada Edwards: And then even, you know, starting to see it really show up in our culture, especially during COVID, when we were so heavy in social media, you know, I felt like it was the beginning of just a deep divisiveness that has shown up not just in our culture but even in our churches.
• 4:15
  Jada Edwards: And so the whole idea, I think, put me on a path to really see the idea of God's love, like how he says this is what the entire Bible hangs on.
• 4:26
  Jada Edwards: It put me on a path to really figure out.
• 4:29
  Jada Edwards: What does that mean?
• 4:29
  Jada Edwards: Because maybe I've taken this thing a little too lightly and so, yeah, it started showing up for me everywhere, and so that's really what inspired me to study this subject.
• 4:40
  Ellen Krause: And I can definitely tell you you're not alone in that, that's for sure what would you say has been sort of the biggest transformation in your own heart or life that you've seen as a result of really focusing so much attention on this?
• 4:56
  Jada Edwards: Yeah, probably the awareness that I cannot fix any issue in any relationship if I have not first resolved it with God.
• 5:07
  Jada Edwards: I think sometimes I'm a doer.
• 5:10
  Jada Edwards: I'm a give me the list of things to do and I want to knock things out and we can take that approach to our spiritual growth.
• 5:17
  Jada Edwards: We go to church and we take good sermon notes or we listen to our favorite teacher or do a Bible study and we often come out with like a list of things to do and I want to work on this.
• 5:26
  Jada Edwards: I want to work on this, and it's hard for us to not create an action list or to create a checklist, but to really ask God to check our hearts.
• 5:35
  Jada Edwards: What's my relationship like with you, God?
• 5:37
  Jada Edwards: How is my relationship with you really affecting this other issue?
• 5:41
  Jada Edwards: I just want to work on my finances or be healthier or be more kind, and I think the challenge has been for me that the Lord has said you can't.
• 5:49
  Jada Edwards: Those things are the outcome of your relationship with me.
• 5:54
  Jada Edwards: You're trying to fix outcomes without first checking your alignment with me, and so if you want to be more patient with people or more gracious, then you need to fully receive the grace and patience I give you, Because once you're aware of that, you will feel compelled to be patient with people.
• 6:10
  Jada Edwards: And so just a different way of thinking that has forced me to stop being, stop the tendency of quickly taking action and saying I need to figure out what's going on in my heart, because the Bible says you love the Lord, your God, with your heart, soul, mind, and Mark adds strength and love your neighbor as yourself.
• 6:27
  Jada Edwards: The second one is like it it's as important, but it's also second.
• 6:31
  Jada Edwards: It comes in an order Loving the neighbor is as important as loving God, but it is impossible without loving God.
• 6:37
  Jada Edwards: And so it has forcing me to stop and check every challenge I have in a relationship and ask myself where is this showing a gap or a deficit in my?
• 6:47
  Ellen Krause: relationship with the Lord that's so profound, and I think I need to be doing more of that as well.
• 6:54
  Ellen Krause: It's hard, it's hard, it's hard to kind of flip your framework when we're so used to, like you say, trying to fix it and ask for all the results without really first checking our heart.
• 7:09
  Ellen Krause: Well, it's also important for us to understand how limited we are when it comes to experiencing the love of God.
• 7:20
  Jada Edwards: What do?
• 7:20
  Ellen Krause: you think some of us have trouble fully experiencing God's love.
• 7:26
  Jada Edwards: Well, I think it has a lot to do with what I was kind of mentioning about our own relationship with God, and that is impacted by a lot of things.
• 7:36
  Jada Edwards: When you first become a Christian, even if you grew up in church, there's some moment that's probably some definitive moment where you owned your faith and said, yes, ok, I want to surrender my life to the Lord.
• 7:48
  Jada Edwards: I just think sometimes we so love the idea of newness and new life and new creation that we forget that that newness is laid on top of old creation.
• 8:03
  Jada Edwards: We still bring a lot of stuff to the table.
• 8:07
  Jada Edwards: In our relationship with the Lord.
• 8:09
  Jada Edwards: It's not the new creation, is not that the old is wiped clean, but the cost of the old, the punishment that the old creation deserves, the gap that it creates in our relationship with God.
• 8:23
  Jada Edwards: Like that has passed away, but our old nature is still there.
• 8:26
  Jada Edwards: That's why we wrestle, that's why you suddenly don't wake up after becoming a Christian and say, gosh, I have no tendency to want to overspend, I have no tendency to want to lie Like that doesn't go away, and so I think a lot of the things that impact us is because we're not paying enough attention to what we're bringing to the table and so I can try my best to love God and receive God's love.
• 8:50
  Jada Edwards: But if I'm not mindful of how my relationship with my father may have impacted me, or my childhood, or things that I've always wrestled with, even the way I'm wired, childhood, or things that I've always wrestled with, even the way I'm wired If I'm a naturally anxious person, then it doesn't matter how many times I quote don't be anxious for, be anxious for nothing, but in every.
• 9:08
  Jada Edwards: You know like you can quote that, but you don't really.
• 9:12
  Jada Edwards: You don't really know the work that it needs to do in your heart.
• 9:14
  Jada Edwards: The work that verse needs to do in my heart is different than the work it needs to do in your heart heart because we're different people, we bring different things to the table with different background, different story, and so I think, holding intention, this idea that, yes, I'm new, I'm redeemed, I'm redefined in Christ, but, as Paul said in Romans 7, I still have to wrestle, there's still things in me that do the things that I hate, and so I have to understand that the same scripture, even taught on a Sunday morning to 200 people, is going to hit every one of those people differently, and some people are going to be like, great, I can start doing this tomorrow.
• 9:50
  Jada Edwards: And some people are going to be like wait a minute.
• 9:53
  Jada Edwards: Why is this so hard for me?
• 9:54
  Jada Edwards: Because we all bring different things and so you know, doing that work and keeping the awareness that my new creation is also having to deal with my old creation, how do I really get specific and let the Lord do surgery on my own heart.
• 10:08
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, that's.
• 10:08
  Ellen Krause: That's something that I think each one of us, as you said, we come with all different types of backgrounds and I love that the scriptures do teach.
• 10:19
  Ellen Krause: You know, it's the same scripture, but we're all impacted by it in some different way, but it's exactly how God wants to speak to each one of us and into our hearts.
• 10:30
  Ellen Krause: Well, what are some of the obstacles that you are seeing people face as they try to experience God's love, as they try to experience God's love.
• 10:41
  Jada Edwards: I think part of the biggest, one of the biggest challenges that I face, that people face, is that it is really difficult to keep a divine or elevated kind of view of love when we are experiencing it in the flesh and day-to-day life.
• 10:58
  Jada Edwards: So if somebody hurts my feelings, somebody hurt my feelings it is work for me to hear something that's offensive or read a text that hurt my feelings, or find out somebody betrayed my confidence or someone was disloyal to me.
• 11:12
  Jada Edwards: It is work to take the disappointment that inevitably happens even in our healthy relationships, to take that and then somehow translate that to well, it's bigger than what I feel.
• 11:23
  Jada Edwards: How do I deal with my feelings based on this divine idea?
• 11:28
  Jada Edwards: That is not natural.
• 11:30
  Jada Edwards: We are naturally all Cain.
• 11:32
  Jada Edwards: That's who's in us.
• 11:33
  Jada Edwards: I'm jealous of this.
• 11:35
  Jada Edwards: I don't like this.
• 11:36
  Jada Edwards: I want to lash out.
• 11:37
  Jada Edwards: We are all Cain.
• 11:38
  Jada Edwards: In that Cain and Abel story, we are all Eve.
• 11:40
  Jada Edwards: I see something I want.
• 11:41
  Jada Edwards: I know what God said, but this is what I want, and so it just becomes effort, work to partner with the Holy Spirit and say, okay, this is how I feel, this is how I want to respond.
• 11:52
  Jada Edwards: But, Lord, what should I do?
• 11:53
  Jada Edwards: That's why I love Mark's version of that great command?
• 11:57
  Jada Edwards: Because he says love the Lord with your heart, soul, mind and strength.
• 12:01
  Jada Edwards: It's going to take work.
• 12:02
  Jada Edwards: You're not going to miraculously pray or sing the right worship song and all of a sudden all your relationships are easy.
• 12:08
  Jada Edwards: He's like it's going to be work, and so I think we have to be okay with that and know that that's a normal thing to really strive to put forth effort into that.
• 12:19
  Jada Edwards: We do it through the power of God, but we have to do the work to partner with him to see that showing up in our everyday relationships.
• 12:27
  Ellen Krause: Absolutely.
• 12:27
  Ellen Krause: The word that comes to my mind when you said that is just intentionality, because so many things in life don't just happen.
• 12:35
  Ellen Krause: Right, it takes intentionality on our part to be actively seeking God, and I love that he gives us wisdom when we ask right.
• 12:45
  Ellen Krause: James says that.
• 12:47
  Ellen Krause: So if that's something, you're listening to this and you're seeking and wanting more wisdom on this topic, even for God's love to reveal more of that to you is something that you can ask of the Lord.
• 13:00
  Ellen Krause: Well, jada, our world so often seems to be filled, as you mentioned at the beginning, with division and outrage, conflict, division and outrage, conflict.
• 13:15
  Ellen Krause: It's not just families or marriages that need help with loving well, but just about every human relationship out there.
• 13:19
  Ellen Krause: Yes, how can we model a love that truly heals and brings people together?
• 13:26
  Jada Edwards: You know, if you think about the way that God has loved us, it really is overwhelming to think about the sacrificial, compassionate, generous love of God.
• 13:37
  Jada Edwards: It makes us rethink.
• 13:38
  Jada Edwards: I think, all of our relationships, because I think even the people that we love the most our closest friends, our spouses, our kids, our family it is still often some kind of condition attached to it that we have to work through.
• 13:53
  Jada Edwards: And that's with our favorite people, Like I love my kids, but will there be disappointment if they don't turn out to be the adults that I want them to be?
• 14:01
  Jada Edwards: I love my husband deeply.
• 14:03
  Jada Edwards: Will I still be disappointed if he doesn't do the things that I require?
• 14:07
  Jada Edwards: Love my friends, et cetera, et cetera.
• 14:09
  Jada Edwards: We are inclined to love with a condition.
• 14:12
  Jada Edwards: I love you, but also don't go past this point, because then it's going to challenge how I can relate to you.
• 14:18
  Jada Edwards: And then you think about God's love, how we show that is asking God to help us work through those conditions.
• 14:25
  Jada Edwards: And that is not to say you don't want people that are kind and considerate and thoughtful, but it is to say that I have to be asking God all the time how do I love these people well, even when they don't meet my conditions, or how do I remove the condition?
• 14:40
  Jada Edwards: How do I love without condition?
• 14:42
  Jada Edwards: And that doesn't mean that I don't set boundaries or don't have wisdom, but that means I don't cut people off and disengage in relationships.
• 14:52
  Jada Edwards: Ask the Lord how to navigate it and he may show me how to navigate relationships differently when I've been betrayed or when someone's broken my trust or whatever the case may be.
• 15:01
  Jada Edwards: But it means as a believer, if I believe that love is the mark John 13, 35, like they will know you're my disciples by your love.
• 15:09
  Jada Edwards: They will know you're my disciples by your love.
• 15:17
  Jada Edwards: If I believe that's the mark of what, what makes me identify as as a believer, then I can't just walk out on things when they're really hard.
• 15:21
  Jada Edwards: I have to be asking God what do I do in that situation?
• 15:24
  Jada Edwards: And so you know, trying to pursue unconditional love, trying to pursue a love that makes the first move, the love that seeks to reconcile, before the person comes and apologizes, before they explain, even if you don't know how it's going to be received.
• 15:38
  Jada Edwards: All that is very, very humbling.
• 15:40
  Jada Edwards: But that's the way God loved us.
• 15:42
  Jada Edwards: The Bible says that while the world was against God, he was reconciling us to himself.
• 15:48
  Jada Edwards: He made the first move.
• 15:49
  Jada Edwards: So those kind of things, I think, challenge us to really depend on God to love well, because you cannot do it in human strength.
• 15:58
  Jada Edwards: We keep score and we get offended, and so it takes God's divine power really to say look past this, Think about how I've loved you.
• 16:06
  Jada Edwards: Let me show you how to do this well, and God's going to keep you safe.
• 16:09
  Jada Edwards: He's not going to set you up to, you know, be destroyed.
• 16:12
  Jada Edwards: In relationships.
• 16:13
  Jada Edwards: Hard things happen, but I don't believe that's the plan of God.
• 16:15
  Jada Edwards: I think that's just humans doing what we do, but God will show you how to do it in a way that you know is beyond your capacity and still reflects the goodness and the glory of his name, which is really the ultimate.
• 16:27
  Ellen Krause: Yes, absolutely, it is in the book.
• 16:30
  Ellen Krause: One of the things that I loved your authenticity and I loved how you know.
• 16:34
  Ellen Krause: You said that you approach situations much more.
• 16:38
  Ellen Krause: What's the right word?
• 16:42
  Ellen Krause: Just sort of more matter of fact?
• 16:44
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, I do.
• 16:46
  Ellen Krause: As opposed to maybe someone else who might be responding to a situation more empathetically, or, and that God challenges all of us to consider how we do things, how we're loving versus how he loves.
• 17:04
  Ellen Krause: But I appreciate that.
• 17:05
  Ellen Krause: You know you.
• 17:07
  Ellen Krause: You were so honest about that, yeah.
• 17:09
  Jada Edwards: You have to know yourself and just be okay with it.
• 17:12
  Jada Edwards: It's not a matter of guilt or shame or one person is better than the other.
• 17:16
  Jada Edwards: I mean, it's just how we all are.
• 17:19
  Jada Edwards: Some of us are, we want to slowly understand the details of every person's story and some of us are like give me the bullets, just give me the, give me the 30 seconds.
• 17:28
  Jada Edwards: You know, we're all different, some of us.
• 17:31
  Jada Edwards: Some of us want to receive encouragement.
• 17:32
  Jada Edwards: Just this morning I got a text from a friend of mine and she was relaying some very serious information about a family member that's going to undergo a medical procedure.
• 17:42
  Jada Edwards: She wanted prayer and all these things and I know her well enough.
• 17:46
  Jada Edwards: I knew in that moment how to love her.
• 17:48
  Jada Edwards: Well, I just text her back and said I love you, glad to be your friend, I'm glad I get to be in this with you, I'm praying for you.
• 17:55
  Jada Edwards: The end.
• 17:56
  Jada Edwards: I have other friends who may have sent that message and I know the way to love them.
• 18:00
  Jada Edwards: Well, would have been a phone call.
• 18:01
  Jada Edwards: They want to talk through it, but I know her.
• 18:03
  Jada Edwards: She actually even said I don't have capacity for questions, but I need this, this, this, and so sometimes, if you don't.
• 18:10
  Jada Edwards: If you don't get out of yourself, you'll just assume, well, the loving thing to do would be to call or to show up because that's what you like.
• 18:18
  Jada Edwards: But actually it's not the loving thing to do for that friend.
• 18:20
  Jada Edwards: I know her.
• 18:21
  Jada Edwards: She's like here's I'm putting this out here.
• 18:23
  Jada Edwards: It's a big deal for her to even ask for prayer.
• 18:25
  Jada Edwards: I know she's going to give me updates whenever she's ready and when I sent my message back she just hearted the message.
• 18:30
  Jada Edwards: Heart, that's it.
• 18:32
  Jada Edwards: That's probably all I'm going to get you know until she's ready.
• 18:35
  Jada Edwards: But it's that sensitivity in the moment.
• 18:38
  Jada Edwards: God, what do I do?
• 18:39
  Jada Edwards: How do I respond?
• 18:40
  Jada Edwards: to her, because everybody doesn't want what I want.
• 18:42
  Jada Edwards: How, what does she want?
• 18:43
  Jada Edwards: What makes her feel loved?
• 18:44
  Jada Edwards: And I needed to just acknowledge that she sent me, that she liked the message and that's it.
• 18:48
  Jada Edwards: Might not get an update till tomorrow or the next day, but you know it's just asking that question how do I love the other person?
• 18:54
  Ellen Krause: Yes, that is definitely the question.
• 18:57
  Ellen Krause: What are some red flags that indicate someone might be stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns and how do you think they can begin to shift towards healthier dynamics, begin to shift towards healthier?
• 19:10
  Jada Edwards: dynamics yeah, red flags, I think show up when the person, the other person that you're in relationship with, becomes the center of the relationship rather than God.
• 19:23
  Jada Edwards: So that means the other person then has the power to ruin your day or change your mood or, you know, disrupt your joy or your peace.
• 19:34
  Jada Edwards: These things that are gifts and promises from the Lord, if we find ourselves in places where someone we're in relationship with whether it's a friend, a sibling, a child, a parent, someone we're in relationship with can begin to disrupt what I know is a gift from God, means I may have put them in a God spot in my relationship.
• 19:57
  Jada Edwards: Because if the Lord says I'm your peace and peace is yours, that means even on a hard day with someone I love, I can be disappointed, I can be sad, I can be hurt.
• 20:08
  Jada Edwards: I can feel all those emotions and still feel settled, that tranquility that the Lord promises me.
• 20:14
  Jada Edwards: So when I'm tossing and turning at night and can't function at work and can't think through the day because of something someone said or someone did, or I'm waiting on a response, those are my signs that hold on.
• 20:26
  Jada Edwards: You have made this thing more important than the God, who says you always have joy and you always have peace.
• 20:32
  Jada Edwards: And then, in addition to that, I'm probably expecting from them some things that only God can give me, because a red flag is, if I need this person to respond or function in my life in a certain way in order for me to be content or happy or joyful or whatever, I have given them too much power and too much responsibility.
• 20:51
  Jada Edwards: I'm asking them to do something only God can do, and so it's trying to check that.
• 20:57
  Jada Edwards: Well, who's at the center of this relationship?
• 20:59
  Jada Edwards: Are they, is the other person?
• 21:01
  Jada Edwards: Am I?
• 21:01
  Jada Edwards: Am I being arrogant?
• 21:02
  Jada Edwards: Have I put myself at the center of the relationship, or is God really the center?
• 21:06
  Jada Edwards: Because then it helps me to love freely, and not with this demand on other people that they will typically not be able to meet because they're not God.
• 21:15
  Jada Edwards: And that's a hard lesson, that's a hard thing to keep learning.
• 21:18
  Ellen Krause: Yeah, yeah, it sure is.
• 21:20
  Ellen Krause: And what that kind of brings to mind for me is that part of Matthew 11, where Jesus calls us to yoke our burdens with him.
• 21:32
  Ellen Krause: And I think too, if we're feeling that stress that you're describing too, it's because maybe we haven't asked him to yoke that burden.
• 21:43
  Ellen Krause: I love that.
• 21:44
  Ellen Krause: This just kind of all ties together, because that's only something that God can do.
• 21:49
  Ellen Krause: Yep, absolutely, absolutely Well, jada, you talk about the importance of boundaries in loving relationships, and I'm just going to read a little bit from your book.
• 22:01
  Ellen Krause: You say many times life demands we set boundaries in our relationships and create space from unhealthy circumstances.
• 22:08
  Ellen Krause: But love is so much bigger and braver than boundaries.
• 22:11
  Ellen Krause: God demonstrated it and calls us to the same transcendent love.
• 22:15
  Ellen Krause: It's possible to have guidelines that govern a relationship without lessening our love.
• 22:20
  Ellen Krause: Boundaries don't negate love, and distance doesn't have to mean disconnection.
• 22:26
  Ellen Krause: There is a way to set healthy boundaries that still give us the space to love the people we need distance from.
• 22:34
  Ellen Krause: And I'm kind of excited to talk to you about this, because it does seem that that's kind of a buzzword now setting boundaries.
• 22:43
  Ellen Krause: We love boundaries.
• 22:44
  Ellen Krause: What do godly versus worldly boundaries look like, and how can we set limits that honor both love and truth.
• 22:54
  Jada Edwards: Yeah, I'm at the risk of sounding like a broken record.
• 22:57
  Jada Edwards: It's like who's at the center of the boundary.
• 23:00
  Jada Edwards: Is it this person that you are trying to disconnect from?
• 23:04
  Jada Edwards: Or maybe you're trying to punish that person?
• 23:06
  Jada Edwards: They've done something to you.
• 23:07
  Jada Edwards: Now I'm not gonna engage with you in the same way.
• 23:10
  Jada Edwards: Are you at the center of the boundary?
• 23:12
  Jada Edwards: I need to protect myself because you're not safe or you've caused me harm or you've caused me hurt.
• 23:17
  Jada Edwards: Or is God at the center of the boundary?
• 23:20
  Jada Edwards: And when I read through, especially the life of Christ, you have Peter, you have Judas, two significant people who betrayed Jesus.
• 23:30
  Jada Edwards: But they had very different heart postures, very different.
• 23:34
  Jada Edwards: But here's the thing that blows me away about Jesus Both of those men were at the table of the final supper, both of them that even when he called Judas, he knew that Judas would betray him.
• 23:45
  Jada Edwards: Now, judas wasn't in his inner three.
• 23:47
  Jada Edwards: Judas wasn't the name mentioned often throughout scripture as the disciples were mentioned, but Judas was at the table and Jesus let God deal with Judas said to him in so many words you basically cannot thwart my plan.
• 24:00
  Jada Edwards: I'm going to allow you to do what you're going to do.
• 24:02
  Jada Edwards: So none of us wants to have a Judas at the table.
• 24:05
  Jada Edwards: But I believe that if I trust the Lord more than I trust myself, I will know that there's going to be some times where the person I really don't want to connect with, the person I know has ill intentions, the person I know doesn't have good will toward me, that God may allow them in my space for a season to serve his purpose.
• 24:26
  Jada Edwards: That doesn't mean we have to be best friends.
• 24:28
  Jada Edwards: That doesn't mean we have to go to lunch.
• 24:31
  Jada Edwards: That doesn't mean it's just that I need to give grace and room for God to do what God is going to do and for me to watch God take control of that situation and not me.
• 24:41
  Jada Edwards: You have situations where you have a Peter who not only denied Jesus three times and kind of overreacted in a few situations, even when he's brought into the inner three, falls asleep at one of the most crucial moments in the life of Christ, where he's broken, his humanity is coming forth and he wants to share the brokenness of how he feels about the cross.
• 25:02
  Jada Edwards: His three closest friends fall asleep.
• 25:04
  Jada Edwards: He doesn't kick them out of his life, he doesn't kick them out of the garden.
• 25:08
  Jada Edwards: It is the ability to deal with the disappointment of people without disconnecting from them, and I think that only comes by being found fully stable and healed in the Lord and asking the Lord what do you want done in the relationship?
• 25:22
  Jada Edwards: Because here's the thing it makes sense to cut off a Judas.
• 25:25
  Jada Edwards: But if Jesus had cut off Judas, could we have seen that grace is shown even to our enemies?
• 25:31
  Jada Edwards: Because the Bible doesn't tell me that everybody's feet got washed except Judas.
• 25:35
  Jada Edwards: Bible tells me that he was washing feet.
• 25:38
  Jada Edwards: If you were at that table, how?
• 25:39
  Jada Edwards: What human being would say I know you're gonna betray me, but still come to dinner, come to my last dinner, like, and I'm gonna wash your feet, like that is so foreign to us.
• 25:49
  Jada Edwards: And Jesus did it in an act of not only servanthood but of trust to say I know the father's going to take care of you.
• 25:56
  Jada Edwards: I don't have to mete out my own justice.
• 25:58
  Jada Edwards: Even Jesus practiced vengeance, being the Lord's.
• 26:02
  Jada Edwards: And then you have Peter, who betrayed him, denied him, did everything, and somehow, at the end of the story is the one that Jesus says I'm going to build my church on you, peter, like what if Jesus had said I can't believe you fell asleep on me in the garden, I'm never talking to you again.
• 26:16
  Jada Edwards: That was my lowest moment and you were not able to stand with me.
• 26:20
  Jada Edwards: What if he had said, peter, I'm done, you're out of my life?
• 26:22
  Jada Edwards: As a human, we would have missed the fact that God is now calling us to partner with this person, or some divine assignment, like building the church or doing something great in the name of God, with the very person that has hurt us more than once.
• 26:36
  Jada Edwards: So those kinds of stories make me question, when I know I might need to set a boundary.
• 26:42
  Jada Edwards: What do I do with this person?
• 26:43
  Jada Edwards: I have to ask the Lord what do I do?
• 26:45
  Jada Edwards: I loan this person money.
• 26:46
  Jada Edwards: They didn't pay me back.
• 26:48
  Jada Edwards: And they're not always the same answer, because sometimes the Lord says, hey, don't loan that person money anymore.
• 26:53
  Jada Edwards: I'm working on some things with them.
• 26:55
  Jada Edwards: We need to work on responsibility and stewardship.
• 26:57
  Jada Edwards: That makes sense to me.
• 26:58
  Jada Edwards: But then there are other times where the Lord says I want you to loan them money again, when they ask because I'm teaching them grace, I'm going to work on this with them.
• 27:06
  Jada Edwards: And then you have to say it does not make sense to me.
• 27:09
  Jada Edwards: But okay, lord, because otherwise you'll get in a formula.
• 27:12
  Jada Edwards: You're like, if you don't pay me back more than once.
• 27:15
  Jada Edwards: I have a rule I'm not going to loan you money.
• 27:17
  Jada Edwards: That's what we do.
• 27:17
  Jada Edwards: We set up something.
• 27:18
  Jada Edwards: We have a rule.
• 27:19
  Jada Edwards: Once you do this, this is my action and God's like no, it's case by case.
• 27:23
  Jada Edwards: Because, jada, haven't you been given grace?
• 27:25
  Jada Edwards: Didn't somebody give you a chance?
• 27:29
  Jada Edwards: I cut you off?
• 27:30
  Jada Edwards: No, because you wouldn't have any friends.
• 27:31
  Jada Edwards: We've all messed up, and so I have to be asking God, moment by moment how do I love you well, and this person well, because sometimes it is to create a distance or a space, and sometimes it's to keep giving grace and letting God work through both of those.
• 27:47
  Jada Edwards: So I wish there was a formula.
• 27:49
  Jada Edwards: I like formulas.
• 27:50
  Jada Edwards: I like A plus B equals C.
• 27:51
  Jada Edwards: This is what I do in this situation, but it's not.
• 27:53
  Jada Edwards: It's Holy Spirit led.
• 27:55
  Jada Edwards: He's like ask me, I love them more than you love them.
• 27:57
  Jada Edwards: Just ask me, I will tell you what to do in these moments, and so that's the dependence that we need so we can set boundaries, but that the Lord is at the center of them.
• 28:07
  Jada Edwards: That was a mouthful.
• 28:16
  Ellen Krause: Oh no, those were incredible examples, and I think exactly what we all need to hear, because I think it is our natural instincts for when we've been hurt, is to put up this wall and boundary.
• 28:26
  Ellen Krause: And, like you said, though, Jesus that's he forgives, he.
• 28:30
  Ellen Krause: You brought up Peter as an example, and just three times you know, he claimed not to know Christ.
• 28:37
  Ellen Krause: So this kind of weaves into forgiveness, what role does forgiveness play in loving others?
• 28:45
  Ellen Krause: Well, and what would be one practical step someone who's struggling with forgiveness today they could take?
• 28:52
  Jada Edwards: Man, forgiveness is huge and it's something that a lot of us struggle with.
• 28:56
  Jada Edwards: Sometimes we don't realize how much we struggle with it, because if it wasn't a huge trauma or a huge offense, we might think we're pretty good with it.
• 29:04
  Jada Edwards: But sometimes we hold very minor offenses that keep us from loving well.
• 29:08
  Jada Edwards: And so you know the Bible says if your brother has ought with you, don't even come to the altar.
• 29:13
  Jada Edwards: Go and make that right.
• 29:15
  Jada Edwards: God so prioritizes restoration and reconciliation.
• 29:19
  Jada Edwards: So for me, and what I talk about in the book is taking approach like a two step.
• 29:24
  Jada Edwards: Here's the things that need to be happening Coming to terms, coming to the reality that this person cannot pay me back, whatever I think they owe me, that one of the foundational ideas of forgiveness is to release or to send away.
• 29:39
  Jada Edwards: It means to send away like I'm wiping this debt in the way God forgave me.
• 29:44
  Jada Edwards: So this person I have to decide this person cannot pay me back.
• 29:49
  Jada Edwards: If they hurt me, then there's no apology or no explanation or no making it up.
• 29:54
  Jada Edwards: That is going to unhurt me.
• 29:56
  Jada Edwards: It may help our relationship, but it's not going to undo the hurt.
• 30:00
  Jada Edwards: If you put a nail in the fence, it doesn't matter if you take the nail out and repaint it.
• 30:04
  Jada Edwards: There's always a hole in that wood under the paint.
• 30:06
  Jada Edwards: That reality should make me dependent on God.
• 30:09
  Jada Edwards: I say you know what?
• 30:10
  Jada Edwards: God, this person left a little hole created some disappointment.
• 30:13
  Jada Edwards: Can you mend that for me and help me to not expect it from them?
• 30:17
  Jada Edwards: That's the forgiveness part.
• 30:19
  Jada Edwards: Then restoration and reconciliation.
• 30:25
  Jada Edwards: That requires the other person to also agree that there's been disappointment and to want to make amends.
• 30:27
  Jada Edwards: And one of the things we have to realize is that we often, we are always called to forgive, but we're not always able to restore or reconcile.
• 30:33
  Jada Edwards: And so you can release a person of what they owe you because the Lord is healing you for that, even if a parent that's not living anymore or a person that you may never see again, the Lord can still give us the power to release that person.
• 30:47
  Jada Edwards: However, the reconciliation is a very different thing.
• 30:50
  Jada Edwards: It requires two people to mutually say, yes, there's been brokenness and I want to work on this, and so we have to be okay with those different phases, knowing that we're absolutely called to always forgive.
• 31:02
  Jada Edwards: But we don't have to force reconciliation or restoration.
• 31:05
  Jada Edwards: We need to let the Lord lead in that as he sees fit.
• 31:09
  Ellen Krause: Yes, we definitely do, because, left up to us alone yes, we definitely do, because, left up to us alone, we get ourselves into trouble and it's just not God's way.
• 31:20
  Ellen Krause: We know and we trust, if we can trust, that he will use it for his glory.
• 31:26
  Ellen Krause: Yes, and we can.
• 31:28
  Ellen Krause: He will help us get through it.
• 31:30
  Ellen Krause: Absolutely, jada, as we start to wrap things up here, what encouragement would you offer to someone who feels disconnected or distant from God's love?
• 31:43
  Jada Edwards: You know what I would say to them ask God to show himself to you.
• 31:48
  Jada Edwards: I don't think that, whether you're a new Christian or maybe you're not a Christian, that you stumbled on this podcast, or maybe you've been a Christian for a very long time I don't think there's ever a point in our journey where we are too mature to ask God just for some evidence.
• 32:03
  Jada Edwards: I know we're supposed to walk by faith.
• 32:04
  Jada Edwards: I know that's what God calls us to do, but he also meets us where we are, and sometimes he does give a sign.
• 32:10
  Jada Edwards: Sometimes he will point your heart to things he's already doing in your life, because he knows what we need.
• 32:16
  Jada Edwards: And so when I have my own moments of wondering, like God, I feel far from you, he will just show me in the smallest things.
• 32:24
  Jada Edwards: It might be a gesture from a friend, it might be something in nature, it might be a word my kid says, it might be a book I stumble across or a song I hear.
• 32:33
  Jada Edwards: God is so faithful and he wants to keep making himself known to us, and so if you feel far from him, or that you can't find him, or you're not feeling his love, ask him point blank.
• 32:45
  Jada Edwards: Show me God, show me how you love me.
• 32:48
  Jada Edwards: And I'm telling you he will blow your mind because there's some things that we're maybe overlooking because we have hurt in our life and we're overlooking all these other ways that God has generously loved us.
• 32:58
  Jada Edwards: And he will show you because he wants you to see it.
• 33:00
  Jada Edwards: And that's the first step to really reconnecting and finding that closeness.
• 33:05
  Ellen Krause: Yes, absolutely so.
• 33:07
  Ellen Krause: Listeners, I hope that you feel encouraged by that, because throughout our lives, our connection to God and feeling his love does sort of ebb and flow and ask, ask God to show you.
• 33:23
  Ellen Krause: That's a prayer that he wants to answer.
• 33:25
  Ellen Krause: Well, jada, where can people find out more information about you and your book?
• 33:37
  Jada Edwards: more information about you and your book.
• 33:38
  Jada Edwards: Well, it's available in several Christian bookstores, including Mardell.
• 33:41
  Jada Edwards: It's also online, amazon and I have a website, jadaedwardsorg.
• 33:43
  Jada Edwards: I'm on social media like all the things, so I love it.
• 33:47
  Jada Edwards: I love Instagram posts and things going on in our church, and so I'm mostly probably on Instagram.
• 33:52
  Jada Edwards: But, yeah, my website, jadaemblissorg, and the book is available pretty much everywhere books are sold and it's on Audible.
• 33:58
  Jada Edwards: I recorded the book.
• 33:59
  Jada Edwards: I did an audio version of it.
• 34:01
  Jada Edwards: I hear people say that they love audio books, and so it is on Audible too.
• 34:06
  Ellen Krause: That's fantastic.
• 34:08
  Ellen Krause: Okay, we will make sure we put all of those links in our show notes.
• 34:12
  Ellen Krause: Before I let you go, jada, though, I have to ask you a couple of questions.
• 34:17
  Ellen Krause: What Bible is your go-to Bible and what translation is it I've?
• 34:23
  Jada Edwards: been loving the ESV, been in that for a while.
• 34:26
  Jada Edwards: I grew up an NASB girl, new American Standard and the ESV is just a slightly simpler version of some of those ideas, but it's still a word for word translation which I really love.
• 34:40
  Ellen Krause: Yes, it is an awesome one.
• 34:41
  Ellen Krause: I use that one as well and it's fantastic.
• 34:44
  Ellen Krause: Do you have any favorite Bible journaling supplies that you like to use?
• 34:49
  Jada Edwards: I do not.
• 34:51
  Jada Edwards: I am the person that buys multiple Bibles and I write notes in my Bible because I lose journals or I'll write in them, write in them for a week or a month and then I can't find them.
• 35:01
  Jada Edwards: So I have several Bibles and when one gets full of stuff or if I want another one, I'll just buy another one, and one Bible has tons of notes throughout the Psalms.
• 35:10
  Jada Edwards: Then I have another Bible that has a lot of notes in John.
• 35:12
  Jada Edwards: It's very chaotic.
• 35:14
  Jada Edwards: I don't know if that system works, but I'll jot down pieces of paper.
• 35:18
  Jada Edwards: So the Bible has paper paper clip to the page where the scripture is.
• 35:22
  Jada Edwards: It's got posted notes hanging out of it.
• 35:30
  Ellen Krause: It looks kind of like a train wreck, but it works for me.
• 35:31
  Ellen Krause: Yes, that's amazing.
• 35:32
  Ellen Krause: Okay, it sounds like it is well loved, all right.
• 35:33
  Ellen Krause: Lastly, what is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools?
• 35:36
  Jada Edwards: Well, when I want a quick fix, I'm sitting somewhere and I have time to listen.
• 35:40
  Jada Edwards: I love YouVersion.
• 35:41
  Jada Edwards: I actually have a reading plan too for the book on YouVersion, but I love them.
• 35:44
  Jada Edwards: They have plans.
• 35:45
  Jada Edwards: If you're new to Bible especially, they have really simple day-to-day plans and, of course, the verse of the day when I'm studying.
• 35:56
  Jada Edwards: I love Blue Letter Bible.
• 35:57
  Jada Edwards: It has an online lexicon.
• 35:57
  Jada Edwards: Bible Hub has tons of commentaries and so, yeah, I'm kind of a nerd with logos and all the tools.
• 36:04
  Jada Edwards: I like to inundate myself with all the information and figure out what to share.
• 36:09
  Ellen Krause: Those are all excellent, excellent resources.
• 36:11
  Ellen Krause: We will make sure we put the links to those as well, Jada.
• 36:15
  Ellen Krause: Thank you so much for being here.
• 36:17
  Ellen Krause: Absolutely Just your vulnerability and your wisdom and just the encouragement that you have given us.
• 36:26
  Ellen Krause: Yeah.
• 36:27
  Jada Edwards: Thank you for having me.
• 36:29
  Ellen Krause: All right, and for those of you that have joined us, we thank you so much for listening.
• 36:34
  Ellen Krause: Be sure and share this episode with someone who needs a fresh perspective on love, healing and God's grace Until next time.