Latest / Voices for Voices® / Episode 96: The Power of Now: How Being Present Transformed My Mental Health
Transcript
- 0:00Justin Alan Hayes: Epilogue.
- 0:01Justin Alan Hayes: First and foremost, living with mental illness isn't a choice.
- 0:07Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't wake up one day and wish myself to have multiple mental illnesses, but since being diagnosed, I've chosen my path and how I will continue to thrive and overcome adversity.
- 0:20Justin Alan Hayes: I've gone through one heck of a twisted roller coaster on my mental health journey and I've accepted it.
- 0:27Justin Alan Hayes: Healths, especially for me, took some time, and it may very well take you some time to grasp as well.
- 0:35Justin Alan Hayes: We are all unique in our own ways and that's what makes us human.
- 0:41Justin Alan Hayes: So never let someone tell you that you're doing it wrong, not healing fast enough or not reaching certain milestones on your way to peace.
- 0:50Justin Alan Hayes: At first, during and after my hospitalization release, I hated the thought of classifying myself as a person with mental illness.
- 0:59Justin Alan Hayes: Now I've accepted my new normal and have chosen to share my story with others as a way to grow.
- 1:07Justin Alan Hayes: Without my acceptance of mental illnesses, I can't say I would be so passionate about writing this book and wanting to help others as my mission.
- 1:17Justin Alan Hayes: In addition, finding consistency at something hasn't been the easiest thing for me.
- 1:23Justin Alan Hayes: I've since learned that consistency has multiple layers.
- 1:28Justin Alan Hayes: First, believe in what you are doing is for yourself and the common good.
- 1:33Justin Alan Hayes: Second, learning to not let negative thoughts from yourself or others to interfere with your goals.
- 1:41Justin Alan Hayes: And third, visibility into the alternative situations.
- 1:46Justin Alan Hayes: If you don't continue, how have I found consistency that works for me?
- 1:50Justin Alan Hayes: Here's what I strive to do as frequently as possible to provide myself comfort and peace.
- 1:58Justin Alan Hayes: I continue to take the medications I have been prescribed by my psychiatrist since I was admitted into the hospital during my mental health crisis.
- 2:07Justin Alan Hayes: I was hesitant to take medications for an extended period at first, especially because my longest time taking prescription medication was after wisdom teeth extraction and my shoulder surgery.
- 2:21Justin Alan Hayes: My recommendation to you is to really listen to your mental health team.
- 2:26Justin Alan Hayes: They truly care about you.
- 2:28Justin Alan Hayes: The first impression meeting my psychiatrist was that he was rude, not compassionate toward me or my situation at all.
- 2:37Justin Alan Hayes: And now, through everything, I'm glad I stuck it out with him and I couldn't be happier with my choice.
- 2:45Justin Alan Hayes: One of the most serious ways I was hurting my body was that I didn't eat enough calories per day.
- 2:50Justin Alan Hayes: It wasn't nourishing my body with a balanced diet.
- 2:54Justin Alan Hayes: Overcoming my constant internal monologue that I was too busy to eat and allergic to everything was a challenge.
- 3:02Justin Alan Hayes: In the hospital, the nursing staff made sure I drank a full insure meal replacement drink at each meal.
- 3:10Justin Alan Hayes: For context, one bottle of insure has more calories than I was previously consuming an entire day.
- 3:18Justin Alan Hayes: I continued that habit after I was discharged, dropping down to one serving per day, as recommended by my nutritionist.
- 3:27Justin Alan Hayes: Now I can confidently share with you that I prioritize eating three square meals every day as part of my consistency routines.
- 3:36Justin Alan Hayes: Plus, eating a balanced diet in multiple times per day enhances the effectiveness of my medications that need to be taken with proper food and drink.
- 3:47Justin Alan Hayes: I know now that if I don't nourish my body, then it is impossible to believe I can continue to recover at such a high level and to be in the best condition to help others, which is the foundation of my new mission.
- 4:04Justin Alan Hayes: Abusing alcohol used to be a large part of who I was.
- 4:07Justin Alan Hayes: That no longer is true.
- 4:09Justin Alan Hayes: In fact, I haven't touched alcohol since months before my hospitalization.
- 4:14Justin Alan Hayes: It no longer defines me and it's not something I miss.
- 4:18Justin Alan Hayes: When I am out with others drinking alcohol, I pick up a sparkling water or club soda instead.
- 4:25Justin Alan Hayes: At most bars and restaurants, they'll even pour sparkling water into a wine glass or a champagne flute garnished with a lime wedge.
- 4:34Justin Alan Hayes: I've explained my situation to more than a few people, but I'm now owning my thoughts and actions.
- 4:41Justin Alan Hayes: My focus is on continuing my mental illness recovery at every turn.
- 4:46Justin Alan Hayes: Under the days of alcohol, drugs, excessive prescription pills and in are the days of safe, controlled decisions that are nourishing and respectful of my body and my mental health.
- 5:01Justin Alan Hayes: Lack of sleep and a bedtime routine was another very real part of my mental health journey and a critical consistency I keep today.
- 5:09Justin Alan Hayes: After years of what I thought sleep was supposed to be, I found out that I had been approaching sleep all wrong.
- 5:17Justin Alan Hayes: Not only was I lucky to get just five hours of sleep each night.
- 5:22Justin Alan Hayes: Most nights I had an extreme fear of just closing my eyes.
- 5:27Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not sure what caused that fear, but what I did know was that I rarely woke up feeling rested.
- 5:34Justin Alan Hayes: Some of that fear was probably from knowing deep down that I would wake up just as tired as I was the previous day.
- 5:42Justin Alan Hayes: I also never prioritized sleep as part of my life for a long time, and I was never consistent with bedtimes or waking up around the same time each day.
- 5:53Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't finally grasp the importance of a sleep schedule and really changed my behavior until I attended partial hospitalization therapy sessions in addition to an evening prescription to help me wind down before bedtime each night.
- 6:10Justin Alan Hayes: I thought it was odd at first, since I thought I needed the most help during the day and not at night.
- 6:17Justin Alan Hayes: Through many therapy sessions, I became fully informed on the positive benefits of sleep and sleep routines.
- 6:25Justin Alan Hayes: I found that wearing a sleep mask and listening to soothing sounds via an app on my phone has helped me get a better quality of sleep as well.
- 6:36Justin Alan Hayes: Getting to bed between 9 and 10.30pm and waking up between 7.30 and 9am gives me the structure I need.
- 6:46Justin Alan Hayes: Regular meditation, in addition to an improved sleep schedule, still does wonders for my mental health.
- 6:52Justin Alan Hayes: Meditation used to be frightening for me.
- 6:56Justin Alan Hayes: Behind my closed eyes, in a dark, quiet room, I was seeing a shark attacking me as I sat on a boardwalk and couldn't escape.
- 7:05Justin Alan Hayes: I went through so many meditation app trials trying to find the one that worked, to no avail.
- 7:13Justin Alan Hayes: After my crisis, though, I've found that my mind is clearer than it has been in a long time.
- 7:20Justin Alan Hayes: I'm able to close my eyes wherever I am and don't think about shark attacks.
- 7:26Justin Alan Hayes: Even if my new app has ocean wave sounds, it's not the meditation independently driving my mind and thoughts.
- 7:35Justin Alan Hayes: It's a combination of everything else I'm doing to be consistent and mindful.
- 7:40Justin Alan Hayes: Just the ability to meditate is a great way for me to evaluate how I'm handling stress, work and other things in my life, helping me sort it all out in a peaceful and meaningful way.
- 7:54Justin Alan Hayes: Similarly, I now enjoy listening to classical music because each song's complexity allows me to get lost in it and really feel the music.
- 8:05Justin Alan Hayes: The different tones and melodies of composers keep me engaged in listening a completely different experience than the popular music of today.
- 8:16Justin Alan Hayes: For a long time in my adult life, spirituality just wasn't for me.
- 8:21Justin Alan Hayes: As a child, I attended church regularly with my family for years, yet never truly understood the underlying spiritual messaging and letting it inform my mental health crisis in the correct way.
- 8:36Justin Alan Hayes: Throughout it all, I had always thought that spirituality was a part of each of us, but just wasn't my strength.
- 8:44Justin Alan Hayes: Slowly, in my late 20s, I began attending weekly mass, even going as far as reading With all eyes on me, at a time where I wasn't nourishing my body how I needed to, the nerves really kicked in.
- 9:00Justin Alan Hayes: I ignored that red flag, thinking I was just in need of overcoming my newfound fear of public speaking during mass, even though I had previously enjoyed speaking in front of large crowds.
- 9:13Justin Alan Hayes: It got to the point that even as a regular attendee at a busy mass, I would experience extreme symptoms of a panic attack.
- 9:23Justin Alan Hayes: Now, with all that in the rear view mirror, I'm back to attendee weekly mass and even joined a men's prayer group to strengthen my spirituality and understanding of Christ.
- 9:35Justin Alan Hayes: I fully embraced that I need spirituality in my life to help balance everything and it gives me peace of mind because I'm no longer left wondering about it and challenging others on their views.
- 9:49Justin Alan Hayes: How else do I know?
- 9:51Justin Alan Hayes: This is an essential consistency to my mental health journey.
- 9:56Justin Alan Hayes: Being removed from Christmas Eve mass with panic attacks for several years hit me hard.
- 10:00Justin Alan Hayes: In a recent Christmas Eve mass I noticed a man in my pew displaying signs of a panic attack and generally being overwhelmed.
- 10:10Justin Alan Hayes: Before mass started I let him out of the pew and his mother told me that her son has problems in big crowds and suffered from anxiety.
- 10:19Justin Alan Hayes: When he returned I shared with him my previous experience because it was similar enough that I felt I could make him feel less alone.
- 10:28Justin Alan Hayes: This was my first Christmas Eve mass in a long time and I felt good knowing that I had helped someone else through their struggle.
- 10:37Justin Alan Hayes: I realized that I was now the one on the outside looking in at someone else's challenge, and how was it possible that they were sitting right next to me of all people in a crowded church service?
- 10:51Justin Alan Hayes: I enjoyed being kind and thoughtful to them, providing comfort and understanding in that moment.
- 10:59Justin Alan Hayes: Going to the barber shop used to be full of anxiety for me.
- 11:02Justin Alan Hayes: Currently, I'm happy to include self-care appointments, like getting my hair cut, into my consistent routine.
- 11:09Justin Alan Hayes: At the time I was in between jobs and had an ex-co-worker who attended the same barber the barber had mentioned my friend asked about me multiple times and I spiraled into anxiety, not knowing what to say.
- 11:25Justin Alan Hayes: Would he judge me for my job status?
- 11:28Justin Alan Hayes: Would he think I couldn't pay him and not do a good job on my hair?
- 11:32Justin Alan Hayes: Whatever the reasoning, it was a side effect of how badly I was treating my body and spirit.
- 11:39Justin Alan Hayes: Now I don't worry about that topic as it comes up or where our conversation leads, and I'm okay with telling the truth without fear of being judged.
- 11:50Justin Alan Hayes: I've since made appointments like this part of my monthly self-care routine.
- 11:55Justin Alan Hayes: I keep the consistency by scheduling appointments four weeks out and stacking with other self-care appointments, like my monthly Swedish massage spa treatment.
- 12:06Justin Alan Hayes: That way they're all easy to remember and my appointments are each treated as a priority.
- 12:13Justin Alan Hayes: I encourage you to find what self-care routines work for you and stick with them.
- 12:17Justin Alan Hayes: Be present in those moments and enjoy what you are doing.
- 12:22Justin Alan Hayes: As you can see, I'm very passionate in being consistent in my own life and sharing my story with others.
- 12:29Justin Alan Hayes: Part of what I consider a consistency for myself is helping others through extracurriculars like attending seminars and conferences to speak about my lived experience.
- 12:41Justin Alan Hayes: Now it's time for you to find a perfect mix of self-care activities that make you feel your best.
- 12:47Justin Alan Hayes: Slow down and listen to your body.
- 12:50Justin Alan Hayes: I never used to, but I never won't listen to my body again.
- 12:55Justin Alan Hayes: Nurture your mind, body and spirit.
- 12:58Justin Alan Hayes: Any chance you get, take time to recharge and become your best self.
- 13:03Justin Alan Hayes: You'll surely find your prescription for living in no time.