Latest / The Missing Secret Podcast / What Is Your Superpower – Everyone Has One

Transcript

What Is Your Superpower – Everyone Has One · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to think it be the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:03
  John Mitchell: And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, today, let's talk about that everybody has a superpower. Do you agree with that?
• 1:13
  Kelly Hatfield: I do. I think that everybody has something that they are intrinsically, like, really good at, you know, bring a ton of value. So no, I do believe that people, everybody has a superpower. And it's just a matter of whether You've nurtured that and done the work to kind of understand what that superpower is. Right?
• 1:33
  John Mitchell: Right. Well, you know, this, this comes up because it with my class at the University of Texas. I've tell Durbin telling him that each of you has a superpower, something that's your special talent. And I said, you know, you probably don't know what it is yet, because you don't have enough life experience. You know, I didn't discover mine until I was 27. And, and I know you've heard this story before. But when I was a CPA, I remember sending an email. Well, there's for email show you how long ago this was. But
• 2:13
  Kelly Hatfield: Was it a carrier pigeon? Yes,
• 2:14
  John Mitchell: Yes. I think they just invented electricity. Exciting time for a lot of people,
• 2:21
  Kelly Hatfield: That me up for that debate, I would have been foolish, that would have been a missed opportunity.
• 2:28
  John Mitchell: Right? Right. You know, previous we were in the dark, you know, with pandas. But anyway, you know, I guess I had sent a letter by courier pitch and to one of my tax clients in explaining something about the tax code and this client, you know, contacts feedback and, and tells me why you you made what was very complex sample. And that very same thing happened like two or three weeks later. And it made me step back from my life and go, you know, maybe my talent is making the complex, simple. And what I found fascinating is that ended up playing out my life, a number of ways did it. And again, I've discovered this when I was 27. But when I was 30, and decided I didn't want to be an accountant anymore. And I launched into being an entrepreneur, I put together a real estate development deal where I built like 300 apartment complexes, using a unique financing arrangement, and it was sort of a tax shelter deal. Ultimately, I had to be able to articulate the investment succinctly enough and clearly enough to get people to write a check. And, and so you know, that being able to take the complex and make it simple, played out there. And then when I turned 50, and gotten the reverse mortgage business, again, I had to take the complex and make it simple. And I I figured out a under 32nd description of what a reverse mortgage is. And that became the foundation for all our loan officers of explaining what it was in plain English. And so I saw throughout my life, that skill, above all else was my superpower. And so I'm curious, what do you think your superpower has been?
• 4:34
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, boy, um, let me put a pin in that question. And I'll answer it in just a second. But another thing I wanted to point out to you about your superpower is like even just the the think it'd be at method and taking something that was, you know, that seems overwhelming, daunting, complicated. And breaking that down into the simple and it's so funny. I know that that's your superpower making the complex, simple, because there are so many conversations that we've had, the more I'm sharing something, you know, and you're like, we'll just do this, you know, and do this bit of this. And but the way you do is just so logical. So especially if I have any emotion around anything, yeah, you're like, Well, no, this isn't like, let's just break this down into the, to the backs. It's this, this and this. And I'm like, Oh, no. Like, why was I thinking? Why was I taking 20 steps to get to the three that actually the only three I need to take is really a superpower. So I love I just wanted to validate that even further, because I've been on the receiving end of it. And then when we're talking about the methodology, that is a living, living proof of your ability to make the complex, simple, right? Yeah,
• 5:53
  John Mitchell: I feel like I can make success. Simple. Yes. So now back to you. So what do you what do you think your special talent is, and I'll weigh in on this and probably get your, your take on it,
• 6:06
  Kelly Hatfield: I think that one of the things that, that I would consider to be a superpower would be my ability to connect with other people and to, for other people to feel seen, and to feel heard. And so, you know, one of the things that and I know where this comes from in my childhood, and where this stems from everything, but like, that's what everybody wants, everybody wants to feel seen and heard, you know, and so my ability to get really present with someone, so that they feel like they're the only person like I don't have my phone out, I'm not looking over their shoulder at anybody else I am locked in. And by him were by him sitting and in that conversation with them, and asking them questions. And so I think my ability I hear often, in my throughout my career with my team is I always feel so much better after I've talked to you. And not because I counsel them, but just because I my ability to connect with other people and to bring that energy into a conversation. I think that's one of the things that has allowed me to develop the kinds of relationships I've developed throughout my career in business and how I've been able to grow my businesses, is as a result of my ability to that I have that. That's one of my superpowers. I don't know whether you call it a skill, but it's just something I'm innately been good at. And I think for me, you know, part of that comes from not feeling state like knowing what the opposite of that is. Yeah. ever wanting to be somebody who makes somebody else steals it feel that way. Yeah, so I want to be the other person that is the one that you know, is inspires them and sees them and so that I would say that would probably be the superpower that has brought the most value, they helped me get to where I am. Right.
• 8:02
  John Mitchell: You know, I think that's that's right. And just me knowing you, I I would affirm that 100% But maybe even a little deeper, you're very self aware, you're very concerned with the other person. You know, you just have a intuitive sense about what's going on, you can read people really, really well. Because you know yourself really were well, I think, and I'll share something with with you that I think will be eye opening to you because it was eye opening to me. So basically, you're empathetic, and you're a people person. So that's your special talent, my special talent was making the complex, simple. And so when I started talking to my students about this a week or two go in over the last week, I've had each of them come into my office, and I'll spend 15 minutes with them. And I go so, you know, what's your special talent? Have you ever thought about that? And they've never thought about it. And then I'm like, Well, wait a minute, this isn't even fair to ask him this because it's just too broad of a question. They don't you know, they don't know. And so I'm like, Okay, let me really think about this. I think there's seven or eight, you know, defined special talents or superpowers that enabled people to be successful. And so I'm going to I'm going to share with you the, the seven or eight that I've come up with, and it starts with the two we just talked about building bathe the complex, simple, being a people person being you know, naturally outgoing an extrovert and, and having a serious sincere interest in other people. Then a third category would be leadership of self The ability to lead yourself at a level way beyond what most people are able to, then another one would be at the fourth one would be communication mastery, you know, being a great speaker or writer. Another one, the fifth one would be leadership of others, just having a natural ability to lead others. The sixth one would be a unique critical thinking ability, essentially being super smart, then the seventh would be the ability to see trends that other people can't see. And then the eighth one would be the ability to grow far beyond what most people are able to grow in. And as I look at those things, a couple of things that catch catch my attention, like that people person, one, well, you're a people person, and that's made you successful. And, and I teach with Bill Cunningham, who you've met the former Chancellor and President UT. Boy, he is Mr. People person, he just has this, you know, innate way of being with people. That's amazing. And so I see firsthand why that trait would be would make him successful. And then on communication, you know, mastery. And I don't know, anybody that I think is that, then leadership of others. Okay, um, you know, I'm working with one of the well, the sort of the star basketball player for the University of Texas, and he's a natural leader, you know, so he's an example of that, you know, somebody super smart. I, I have not met anybody, personally, that I thought was super smart, that that was why they were successful. And I haven't seen anybody that has the ability to see trends that other people can't see. I don't know, maybe that exists, I just haven't seen it in other people. And you know, the ability to grow, you know, you're you're a super grower. Yeah. So that's another thing with you. But now, as I have, and I'm going to do this with my client, with my students, maybe tomorrow is say, Okay, let's, let's really think about this. And think of it from the standpoint of pick those seven or eight areas, I still don't think they can figure it out, because they don't have enough life experience. But now, I'm getting them at least in that path of looking for what is my special superpower? And I don't know, it's gonna be interesting. And I, I think that now I see with both you and me, this leadership of self, at at a at a much higher level, is such a unique skill set, that it makes so much difference. And as I saw that, I was successful before think it, be it and learning to lead myself. But, you know, it became way more. I was blessed to be way more successful, once I learned leadership of self. And I think you can say the same thing, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
• 13:26
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, and I think when we're talking leadership of self, you know, be thinking too, about, like, you mentioned self awareness earlier. You know, that, obviously, is where leadership itself starts. And I think part of the challenge that many people have is they're afraid to take a look at themselves and set ego aside and say, okay, is this is this true? You know, and do that investigative work and stop and do that work on self. People, I think are often afraid, again, of what they might find, or they're not going to like what they see, when it comes to that self awareness. What I find in like, my teams and clients that I've worked with is, it's more to about not realizing ego is not a bad thing. It's, you know, but being able to set that aside and say, Man, this is an area that I really need to grow in, you know, this is one of the things that may be holding me back from taking my business to the next level, or to enhancing the relationship that I have with my spouse and being able to take ownership and accountability for like, your, your role in those different areas of your life. And that's hard for people, you know, so the end, but being you've got to do that work. When we're talking about leadership of self, it really starts with this with self awareness and that willingness to be self aware and take a look.
• 14:49
  John Mitchell: Yeah, you know, you you're saying that people may be afraid of what they see. I think people are just lazy. Yeah. Uh, yeah, largely, they're just lazy and operating at such a shallow level that, you know, it's not so nice, they're afraid of what they will see. It's just, it takes an effort and, and, you know, I'll tell you something that was really interesting that just happened to me an hour ago. So I was talking to this health coach for found life, this program that I'm taking, and she's, and her job, I think, is to get people to take the right actions to take care of their health. And so we get to talk in, and I'm like, I don't know how much I said this to her. But But I, I know, I didn't really reach her. But I said, basically, when you're talking to two people, is going in one ear out the other. Because what you're trying to do is impact the you're impacting people's intentions. But you know, people's intentions is not what I mean, you got to get those intentions to show up in their daily thoughts and actions. And so here you are talking to people like me or other clients have found life and you're telling them, you know, you need to eat right, and exercise. And, you know, you're, you're grinding on him. And I said, you know, unless you're impacting the subconscious mind, none of that does any good. You know, it's, it's like, trying to hammer a nail, except you're trying to hammer that nail with a pillow. Yeah, how you're doing, it isn't gonna work. And, you know, it would have taken a much deeper conversation with her. But I see, I guess the essence of what I see is that when you understand how the human mind works, it gives you an ability to lead yourself in a way that is lightyears beyond where most people are, and, and you'll bless her heart, she's trying to do the best she can. And but she doesn't see that the more she talks to people, it's pointless, because they already had the intention to do this. And do that and more talking to them is not going to change it, the only thing that changes it is if you're implanting it in the part of the brain that controls your daily actions, which is the subconscious mind and it again, it's all foundationally, based on the fact that 95% of your daily thoughts and actions are unconscious. And I'm, I'm continually blown away by how profound that one statement is, and the ramifications of of that, and how so many people miss it. In fact, virtually everybody I know, misses it. And, and it's my mission to get people to embrace it. But I've just, you know, I guess I've just been blown away how she's, she's trying to hammer that nail with a pillow. And, and she's got to be frustrated, because it doesn't work. You know,
• 18:23
  Kelly Hatfield: No, totally. And we see that all the time. And I love that I love that you've had this recent experience with it, because we talked about this before, that example of your health is the perfect one to drive home about, like we all have the best intentions, like and everybody knows what they need to do to optimize their health. I mean, like they do, you need to eat, right, you need to exercise you need to get sleep, you need to hydrate like that. We all know, the stuff that we need to do. Why are we doing it? Yeah. Okay, well, now, as soon as you, you know, begin to understand what we've talked about that 95% of what you do, is unconscious, you know, it's all these habits and routines that we have that aren't serving us, we need to build the new routines and habits which takes upgrading, you know, your, your subconscious, which is exactly what you're talking about doing it. But that's the perfect. I love that analogy, because it really drives home the point because everybody Health applies to everybody's life. You know, without that they get that, like, we all have the best intentions, you know, you should stop streaming Netflix, and go to bed at a reasonable time. So you can get good quality sleep, and wake up the next day and be a better human because your brain is functioning better. Most people know this. Why aren't you doing it? You know, and so I love that example that you just gave John, because it applies to everybody and it helps to really drive home. That point. I know sometimes we talk kind of macro. And and you know, I love that example because it brings it down to something that everybody can relate to. Well,
• 19:58
  John Mitchell: And you know, I think the One of the problems that I sort of fell through when I was talking to this this lady is that, you know, we're all operating at a very shallow level, we hear stuff and, you know, we're not really thinking about what it means. So when I say 95% of your thoughts and actions are unconscious, it sort of goes in her ear out the other, but you know, to drive the point home, and the significance of it a little more is, is, first of all, you got to believe that that's true. So if you don't believe that's true, go Google it and see the resource. But once you accept the fact that it is true, then you go, Oh, well, if, if my daily actions determine my success, and each year of my life, and 95% of them are unconscious, then it's obvious. You've you've got to influence the subconscious mind, the subconscious mind is controlling you your life, and and it only responds to repetition. So you can't go to the subconscious mind and go, you know, let me tell you that logic of the health benefits here, it doesn't give a damn, you know, shut up, I don't, you know, it doesn't doesn't work. You know, it only responds to repetition. And I see, in my own life, and I know, you, you do, too, I, when I'm feeding the succinct articulation of my life, to myself, that includes how I want to be with my health, you know, when I'm going to exercise, so what I'm going to do for exercise, how I'm going to eat, how I'm going to control my eating, and I see that from that daily repetition, then the right actions happen automatically, because I'm, I'm impacting my thoughts, before they actually happen, you know, that mechanism that subconscious mind is, is the is the generator of all my thoughts, and those thoughts in create my actions, but if you get into the, the mechanism as generating the thoughts with that, that repetition, every week, every day of the succinct articulation of your life, then, you know, all those things that were intentions just happen automatically. You know, when you created your visualization, You created all these intentions, and it took this the conscious mind to, to come up with them and figure out how to articulate it. And, and so that's pure, you know, conscious mind, and then you feed it to yourself every day, as pure, subconscious mind. And the net effect is, then the right abstractions happen automatically without thinking. And that all seems very, very simple to me. And so, I don't know, I hopefully I'll get better better at explaining this. But first seems simple to me.
• 22:59
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, it is. It's simple. Now that now that I understand it, it's so simple, that it hurts. It's yeah. Here, I just want to say just do this, please. Yes, we'll get better.
• 23:11
  John Mitchell: I know. I know. But, you know, it's funny that, you know, as, as we're talking off off air, you know, the older I get, the less I think I know about the world, you know, because people are, you know, so many things people are doing and approaches make no sense to me at all. And in ways I've never seen it this way before, you know, yeah, but but that's how it is. So let me try and give the takeaways that today. So I think the first takeaway is that everybody has a superpower. And if anybody wants to be to send them the list of the eight things I mentioned, let me know. But but the power of knowing what your superpower is, is that if you know what it is, you can play into it. Like like no doubt in your career you have played into being a people person and being empathetic and and the more you played into it, the better you got at it. So I think that's the first takeaway. I think the second takeaway is that when you and I look at it a little closer, the second superpower we each acquired was leadership itself and learning how the human mind works and and being able to use that knowledge to have a level of control over our lives beyond what most people have. And and I personally think that that is even bigger than for me then. Making the complex simple, because I saw that it 25x My income and And that was the factor, primary factor that did it. And so the third one, I don't know, what do you think the third takeaway is? If there's a third one,
• 25:09
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, I think the third one and not sure about takeaway, I love the list that you have John. And then I can break it down even more simply to using that framework that you just gave, like, what are the things that you're just naturally good at? That come easy to you? Yeah, it's just natural to you. And I've always been able to commute like, even from when I was little, you know, I've been able to connect with people. And, you know, and I've been self aware, like, I've always kind of been in how to grow this kind of mindset and everything, you know, so I think communication, those kinds of things always came really naturally. Math on the other hand, yeah, was super hard for me like, so again, sometimes I think just asking yourself that question like, What am I naturally good at? What do I Where do I lose time, like where I'm in flow, like, naturally, because I in it, because I just am good at this. Or so that will be sometimes how I get people to be thinking about, and then I'll just start digging and asking more questions. Like, maybe they'll say, I'm great with people that makes you great with people, you know, or I'm great with, you know, whatever. The example that they get this, you know, organization, well, what makes you really great at organizing things, right? So then you can kind of start digging and getting to the more layers, you ask yourself, well, what makes you good at that you can get to start to form and to get a better understanding of what that superpower is. So that would be my other advice when you're in that self discovery and trying to figure this out. Why,
• 26:41
  John Mitchell: You know, I see, some people will say, you know, I'm really hard working, or I'm really organized, I'm like, those are not special talents. Those are requirements to be successful, you got to be highly organized, you got to work hard, but those aren't special talents. And I think that one of the things that I find fascinating is that, you know, you're innately wired to be a people person. I'm innately wired to make the complex, simple, but you know, this leadership of self and understanding how the human mind works and using that to your advantage is purely self constructed. It's a it's no special gift is just having the awareness to go, oh, maybe maybe leading myself and understanding how the human mind work could truly be an advantage I have over everybody else. And so, you know, the the power of it is, is all you have to do is desire it as opposed to, you know, be innately blessed with it goes
• 27:47
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, I love that. That's such a great point.
• 27:50
  John Mitchell: Thank you for acknowledging that you're
• 27:54
  Kelly Hatfield: Making you feel seen and hurt. Yes, yes.
• 27:57
  John Mitchell: Why do I like you so much? Okay, until next time, we will say yeah.
• 28:09
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelli at think it'd be att.com or John at think it'd be a.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life