Latest / Untraditionally Lala / Sex Unlocked: The Turkey Sandwich Theory with Kelly Bensimon

Transcript

Sex Unlocked: The Turkey Sandwich Theory with Kelly Bensimon · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex, baby. Hello, my little sex pots.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to Sex Unlocked with Sally Carson and myself.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: We have the funnest episode happening for you guys today.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: How we doing, baby?
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: We're doing good. We're hanging in there.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Did you go blonder?
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: No, I haven't touched my hair. It keeps changing.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: It looks so good.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Happy birthday.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I totally forgot.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: What?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It is my birthday. Thank you.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: You're working on your birthday. You're a working girl.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I'm a working lady because, you know, the bills don't
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: care if it's your birthday or not.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So today, yes, is my birthday. But this episode will
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: come out on Sosa's birthday.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's not so cute that I was just like
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: preparing to give birth, make life on my birthday.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is badass.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: That is badass.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: My most favorite thing on the planet that always makes
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: me happy. is OG Roni. Have you watched OG Real
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Housewives of New York?
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: I have not watched any Housewives. I need to get
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: it together.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: What are you doing?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: This is the greatest television of all time.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: And I've seen like a little like snippets here and there.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: My friends are obsessed with it, but I was like,
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: where should I start? So then when I couldn't decide,
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: I was like, I'm just going to watch Vanderpump and
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: start when Lala came into it.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Excellent choice. You know what?
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: That's the best of the choices. So do you even
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: know who Kelly Ben Simone is?
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: What?
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, like I know who she is through like
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: social media.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: But not through watching her on TV.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Well, she's iconic. My most favorite episode ever, which I'll talk.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: About it now.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Cause I don't know that she likes this episode, but
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: my favorite episode is scary Island.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: OK, tell me about it. Tell me about her. Like
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: what she like, what is it that makes her so iconic?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: She's iconic because she just doesn't get like everyone on
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Roni is iconic because they truly just like don't give
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: a damn. What I appreciate about old school Roni is
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: they were so themselves and chaotic New Yorkers that you
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: almost felt like you were a fly on the wall
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: because you could not produce these women. They didn't sit
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: still long enough for like a, a conversation that flowed
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: and made sense.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Like it was just all over the place. I can't
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: even explain it. Yes.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Like imagine no producer being able to step in to
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: be like, Hey, we're going to pull you to talk to,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: to Craig or whatever.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Like, you're just running around living your life and.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: These giant cameras have to chase you because you cannot
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: be produced.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's insane. That would be a madhouse on Southern Charm.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, I know.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: It's like a gift to be able to be that
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: chaotic and also make wonderful television.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I highly recommend it. You need to watch.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Is that right?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: But also, I think you should start at Roni if
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: you're going to start Housewives.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: That's what I would say.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: But.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Now, some of the OG housewives are going to be
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: on E's.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: It's like a new series. Yeah, The Golden Life.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I cannot fucking wait.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: That sounds exciting. What is the plot of The Golden Life? Like,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: what is that?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I think it's just following these women where they're at
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: in their lives now. Because they're still just as fabulous. Yeah.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: And chaotic, probably. Probably.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but Kelly like knows a lot about sexy time.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: And she was talking about this thing like that involves
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: a turkey sandwich or something.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Okay, Nicole does not research this and I didn't. I didn't.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: No, she was like, please don't look it up. I
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: want to talk to you about it on the podcast.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: So she's ready.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: She is here. Let's bring in the icon, Kelly Ben Simone.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Where are you right now?
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: I'm in my filming house.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: So is it yours where you film? Like this is
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: your home?
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: This is not my home. This is our rental house
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: for filming for the show. Oh, nice.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I know that it's probably like on lockdown, like what
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: you're allowed to share, but like, is it going to
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: be iconic?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Like everything else that you guys do?
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Is it going to be iconic? I mean, obviously.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Obviously.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, the way you can't make this up. It's
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: just like, it's just, it's just always so much fun.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: And I feel like we've been, we're in Palm beach
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: and we're in the Hamptons.
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: I mean, we're just like, and my, my, my sweet
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: friends from, from the New York housewives, they're like, Kelly,
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: why aren't you on our show?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, because I'm on another show. They're like,
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: come to our show. Everyone's like, come to our show.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I would have loved you on the reboot of How
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Stars of New York. But I think that I just
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: love the dynamic between you and the ladies that are
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: now on these new show, The Golden Life. I have
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: a couple of questions. Number one, do you still run
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: in the middle of the street in New York?
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, I run everywhere.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: By the way, I love that so much. People are like,
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: you run in the streets. I'm like, have you ever
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: been to New York City? Have you ever walked on
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: a sidewalk? People are on their phones, umbrellas, strollers, talking
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: to each other in twos and threes. You can't even
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: walk in the streets of New York. So that's why
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I just zip up and down, get my workout,
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: and then I go home.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: 20 minutes, done. Because I need fresh air too. I
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: need to be outside. I can't be inside all the time.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: No, not at all. And also- You know what's so funny?
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I have to give you some tea. Tell me.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I love tea.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: I know, me too. So when we were filming- That scene,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I just.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Ran the New York City Marathon for Sloan Kettering for
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: children's cancer, which was amazing and also super exhausting. And
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: so I was like, I still wanted to keep running.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: And so they're like, let's do the scene of you
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: running down Fifth Avenue.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I was like, amazing. They were in a taxi and
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: they were literally like going fast. I was like, wait
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: a minute, it's too fast for me.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Like basically chasing you i was chasing they were like
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: they wanted me so i was.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: Like chasing them and i was like this is not
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: how i run like i'm like jog 10 minute miles
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: talking the phone 10.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Minute miles girl i'm like do we have an hour
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: i'll catch you.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: Then by the way it varies I'm to 10 is
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: my like you know that's like my like it's if
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: I'm in a good mood I mean but it can
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: sometimes be 11 they're.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Like that's how you oh 11 that's how you passed
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: gym class is if you could run a 10 minute
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: mile I was like you might as well just fail.
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: Me now my Nike app is like you ran two
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: miles at 12 minutes a mile I'm like Jesus or
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: am I a slug No.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You're a hot motherfucker. And I'm so excited to have
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you on the podcast.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: So I remember we were going to the, I, I
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: love you so much going to the I heart.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Awards or no, I heart festival.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: You were talking about how there was like this show
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: that you couldn't talk about.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like, Oh my God, I so want
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: to press her on this. But like, I don't like
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: being that person that like asked too many questions and.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Well, I just love that.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Because it becomes like nosy.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: So that's this show, The Golden Light. Yeah, this one.
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: But you know what I love is that, you know,
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: you and I just like got along so well. And
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: you were just telling me like all your, you know,
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: the whole, you know, situation between you and your ex-husband
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: and his wife.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: And I just was like, I just had so much
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: admiration for you.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: You're just so calm about it and you're just so
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: loving about it.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. It's true.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, we did have a wonderful conversation.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: Thank you. We did.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Well, we had a hating on that bus ride and
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: you were like.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: This red hot dress. I was like, she looks fire.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that you could see me looking fire at
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: least once. Today's my birthday, Kel. So I was like,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I'm allowed to record in pajamas.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you, babe.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Of course you are looking gorgeous, looking like the supermodel
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: that you are. So I have waited. So has Sally.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: We have to know.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: None of us Googled the turkey sandwich theory.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: What is this?
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: So the turkey sandwich theory is a very, very, very
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: complicated theory.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Is it? It's basically. Is this like a known theory?
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: I made it up. Or is this something you were doing? Oh,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: you made it up? I made it up.
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: So my daughter, we were in a deli in Bridgehampton
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: and my daughter, and I was just like, oh my God, like,
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: you know, because we're, you know, out here and I'm,
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: you know, we're giving content about like what the Hamptons
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: are like and what's happening out here. And so my
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: daughter goes, mommy, like tell them about about all the
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: delis because the delis and the Hamptons are iconic. And
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: so I'm like, well, this is really where you meet
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: hot guys. And typically if they eat a turkey sandwich
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: on a Saturday, they're coming here and these are your people.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: And so I posted it and everyone was like, oh
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: my God, what is this turkey sandwich theory?
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: So then everywhere that I go and I see someone,
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: a man that's attractive, I say to them.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Do you or do you not?
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: Try a turkey sandwich, eat a turkey sandwich on a
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: Saturday and do go to delis. Because if you're in
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: a deli and you're a hot guy and you're single,
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: my girls need.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: To go there.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: And so women are going to these delis like crazy
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: now looking for guys on.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Set okay so I need to they're like they're like
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: which deli is it I'm like well it depends like
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: there's bridge hampton deli then there's general store then there's
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: in New York there's all these different delis and I
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: mean it's.
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: Literally been so fun So I get to celebrate the
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: delis and then I get to have, and I get
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: the girls to like, be more playful with trying to
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: meet guys.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Like, I mean, I know everyone's like, oh my God,
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: this ain't me guys. The guys in their fifties suck.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I'm like, actually they don't. You suck.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Wait, are they all in their fifties? I'm like a,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: here's the thing, Cal. I'm like a 26.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like a 26 to a 40.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: You are not right.
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: But even like a 40 year old guy, if I
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: mean you want the whole, the genesis of the turkey
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: sandwich is that you really want to find a guy,
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: whether he's a billionaire or whether he, you know, works
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: the land, whatever you want. Someone that's wholesome eats well.
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: takes care of themselves. And there's a different vibe when
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: a guy is in a, in a deli versus like
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: seeing them at a nightclub or like, do you.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Know what I mean? They're real. They're real. They just
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: came from the gym. They're in a good mood. They're
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: eating healthy.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: And then they see a hot girl or a fun
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: girl or someone's like, do you like boar's head?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love a boar's head.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: How funny to be able to flirt with a guy.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Boar's head meat.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, boar's head thinly sliced. Don't give me anything weird
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: around the edges. I just want simple, you know? Don't
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: give me any pepper or honey.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Pepper or honey.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know how the, like, boar's head, it comes
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: in the slabs.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: And there's, like, seasoning on that? I don't want the seasoning.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just cut off the seasoning. So it's become a really,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: really funny thing.
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: And it's fun because it's a way for me, again,
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: to celebrate where I am.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Talk to women about just having a good time.
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: Because that's really, when you're in a good mood and
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: you're having fun and you're flirting with a guy about nonsense.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Is when guys are like, oh my God, she's so cute.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: When you're like, what kind of drink? do you want darling?
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: They're like, totally. Yeah.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: And then it's usually just like a quick fling of
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: like you sleep together because you're, you know, in your
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: comfort zone, AKA have liquid courage. My whole thing is
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: like going out and meeting a dude, like you said,
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: at a deli, a coffee shop where, you know, they exist,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: not just at night. Like I can't do the men
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: who come alive in the nighttime. If you're texting me
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: at noon saying you just woke up, Right. Not my
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: kind of guy. Like I need to go up at
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: 6 a.m. to do whatever it is that you do.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: I totally agree with that.
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: You don't want to date Dracula who does not like
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: the light. No, you want like full on men who are.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Yes. What I call active participants in life.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: They're emotionally, you know, it's like I'm not I'm not
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: forcing you to be emotionally available when you're getting a
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: turkey sandwich.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: But I can tell a.
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: Lot about you by the way that you talk to
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: me about your turkey sandwich. If you're like passionate, if
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: you're like get excited about it, like that's the kind
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: of guy that I want to meet and date.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: I don't want to date a guy who is trying to.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: Be like, well, if there was only truffles on it
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: and I can't have a turkey sandwich because I'm on whatever. Yeah.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: About the bread with the turkey sandwich like are we
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: going with like a seedy bread are you like a
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: gluten-free motherfucker are you going in with a baguette you
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: get that mouth torn up you like it rough you
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: know okay wait you just said how old you are
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: can we repeat this can we repeat this.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: I am 58 years old.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Kelly you look so you look amazing.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: You look fucking fantastic and you know thank you it's
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: not even about just like the look it's the vibe
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: like you are so playful and fun and I just
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: have to to know are you are you dating are
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: you in a relationship like where we are.
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: I am I am dating I've dated I went on
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: some really fun dates and like when I was in
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: Palm Beach I was dating this guy this banker and
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: I tried to keep everything really really quiet and it
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: just got to be too complicated because he wanted more
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: and I was moving back to New York. And then
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: here I started dating two different guys who were so nice.
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: One's a doctor and one's in finance and they're just
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: really great guys.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: And, you know.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: I'm just having fun. I'm not, you know, I'm not
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: putting any pressure. I'm just enjoying myself when I can
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: go out.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I go out when I can't go out. I can't,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: I don't go out. I'm just trying to like like
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: turn the volume down do you know what I mean
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: like everyone's like.
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna meet someone and I'm not gonna meet anybody
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: and the dating scene is like this and it's just
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: the volume is just so loud for a lot of
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: women and it's just like I if I just the
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: only the biggest takeaway from the turkey sandwich theory is to.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Have fun have some fun laugh a little be playful
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Like you're not proving anything to some guy.
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: Some guy's not going to be like, you're in a
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: snatched bun and a, you know, at a Pilates outfit.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: They're not going to be like, wow, like just be yourself.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Like be in a sweatshirt, put your hair.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: In a high pony, like put some hoops on, have
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: some fun, just be yourself.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: And that's how guys.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the va-va-voom that I used to always think,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: like I have to like, look perfect and like I
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: have to have my clip-ins attached to my head I
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: have to have my big long lashes I now when
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I go out into the world or meet someone and
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: we FaceTime like I need to show you how bad
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: it can get which is me covered in castor oil
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: and in grandma pajamas like because this is what you're
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: looking at at night baby.
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: By the way I mean, glowy skin and pajamas is hot.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: A lot of guys feel that is sexier.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: They do.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: But you don't realize that when you're younger, there is
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: something to the, the dating scene or like the flirtation
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: as you get older, it does become very beautiful. And
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I've noticed that I have brought a lot of trauma
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: into many situations when I'm meeting men where I immediately
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: feel on guard. Cause I'm like, if you hurt me.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, you know what? We're just going to fuck.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: This is just a fuck buddy. And I completely cut
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: it off at the source where I'm like, this could
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: have been something really great had I allowed it to
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: be something great.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: So let's talk about the trauma. I mean, first of all,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: thank you for bringing that up.
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: And second of all, what do you think, what is
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: the trauma that.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: You get triggered by when you meet a guy? What
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: is that? There has to be something and you know
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: what it is. So what is it? Is it abandonment?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Is it fear of him not loving you for you.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Are tremendous abandonment issues and tremendous trust issues. Now, what
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: was great about my last relationship on the surface, right?
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: We don't need to go deep. We've moved on, but
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I could so be myself. I could like, I could
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: spin out. I could, you know, look crazy. And I,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: and I always felt loved what was going on behind
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: the scenes, different story. But the difference is, and I
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: just realized this, how I'm going to know that I
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: have found my guy is when I have my spin
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: outs that are just part of who I am. I've
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: been this way since I was a child. He finds
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: them endearing. He doesn't want to add gasoline to them,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: but he doesn't want to shut me out when they're happening.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: He wants to kind of make light of it. Give
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: me a big hug because then I turn into putty again,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: which is naturally who I am. Like I'm a very
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: sensitive human. Right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Um, And I also am a woman.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: So if I allow you to emotionally connect with me
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: and then we sleep together, I am so fucking locked in.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I love commitment. It's my most favorite thing.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: You know, it's funny because the ladies are like, you're
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: a serial dater. I'm like, that is not a bad thing,
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: by the way. Just in case you're wondering, serial dating
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: is good. It's a numbers game. You have to meet
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: a lot of people. But what's interesting about what you
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: said is that you and I are very similar.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: I have been through, I've had so many trust issues
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: with men.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: I've had a lot of really, really bad things that
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: have happened to me in the past.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: That doesn't mean that I still don't love men.
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: That doesn't mean that I'm afraid that I'm not going
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: to meet my lobster because I am. But the one
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: thing that I had to tune down the volume a
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: little bit on was.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: The what ifs. Like, what if he doesn't like this?
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Or what if he doesn't like that? Or, you know,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: what if this happens? Or what if that happens?
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: I just had to turn it down. And I just
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: had to say, I'm just going to be myself. And
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: if I feel like going on a first date with
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: somebody and locking in with them, that's what I'm going
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: to do.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: If I feel like waiting and meeting, you know, meeting and.
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: Talking and spending time with someone and seeing how I
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: feel with them, I'm going to do that. No one
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: else is on. I'm not on a timeline anymore. I
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: have my beautiful kids. I have my gorgeous life. I'm
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: so proud of who I am and where I've come from.
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: And I work really, really hard to create this life.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: And so they are going to be valuable to me
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: because if they're valuable to me, then I'm going to
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: be able to be like, I just want to be
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: myself with them. And, you know, it's like you said,
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: it's like you met this guy and you wanted to be,
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: you know, you want to, sometimes I like, sometimes I'm like,
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: people drive me so nuts. I'm like, oh my God,
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: that doesn't mean I'm having a, you know, you know,
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: a breakthrough. I'm just like having event session with somebody.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Totally. I love event session.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: And I, and I say that too. I, I, now
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: I tell them, I define things. I'm like, right now
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: I am not myself. I'm feeling like someone else. So
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: you're just going to give me a second.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I may or may not have to go on a
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: walk or run and I'll be back.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Or punch you in the face and you need to
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: be okay with that.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my go-to. My go-to.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: You may just have to take a beating for an hour,
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: but once I'm over it, we're all good.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I don't punch people in the face.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I've had people try to punch me in the face. Neither,
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: by the way. And by the way.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Neither do I.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: But by the way, I have.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: You have punched people in the face?
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: No, I've had people punch me in the face.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: That pushed me against the wall, ripped necklaces off me.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Same.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: Men?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Yes. You have no idea. Yeah. The violence that I've
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: been through.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Kelly, I am so sorry.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Like, see, so when I hear things like that, and
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: then I think about the, the trauma that I bring
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: into many aspects of my life, like what you have
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: been through, first of all, you're just such an incredible woman.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: And I'm so sorry that any of that happened to you,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: but for you to be able to go out and
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: still seek love, or just, just connection, even if it's
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: not going anywhere, it's coming in just for the time being. And,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: you know, you have a good time. Like that is
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: a wonderful thing. And I hope that, um, I can
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: take that on at some point because that's just, that's amazing.
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: I mean, everybody has trauma. I mean, from being, you know,
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: cheated on from being, you know, you know, men abusive
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: to me, you know, being touched by my, you know,
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: one of my schoolmates when I was, when I was
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: a child, you know, just being, just going through all
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: of these awful things that really made me like, so
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: like insecure about my own self. And like, I have
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: a twin brother, so I love men and I feel
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: very comfortable around men, but there is that part of
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: me that is so like, are they going to hurt me?
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: Are they going to, are they going to do something
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: that's going to hurt me? Like I'm constantly afraid that
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: they're going to like do something to hurt me, which
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: is awful way. So that's why, that's why I can
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: say like.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Just put us like, try to tone down all that negativity.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: But I also loved turning down the volume that I'm
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: carrying that with me, by the way. I'm going to
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: kind of switch into like sexy talk. Are you, are
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: you anti one night stand at this point or not
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: even one night stand, but maybe you find someone and
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: you're like, this isn't really going anywhere, but the sexy
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: time is really great.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: So we're just going to like, keep them around. Do
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: you do that?
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: See, I don't do that. I don't.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Did you ever do that?
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: First of all, I had my, my kids lived with me.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: So I wasn't like you either.
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: We were either dating or I wasn't like, there's not,
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: that wasn't like, Oh, by the way, mommy's going to
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: go out and come back.
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: What?
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: I love this because for me, not only do I
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: have two kids at home, but I got a mama
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: at home and I got a brother who's in the
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: back house.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: So like, I'm, I'm a full house.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: And so I'm a full house, but my, and it's great.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: My, my house is so fun, but I'm like my kids,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: my oldest is, is a five and a half. And
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying like she's still a baby, but she
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: has never seen me with a man ever. Ever?
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Ever. Wow.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: I mean, I love that. Are you protecting her? Is that,
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: is that like something you chose or? Yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I just, I don't think that a man needs to
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: be around her unless it's going to be.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: And again, I can't control it.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I could meet someone and life happens and it doesn't
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: work out, but I just, I'm very protective of my
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: kids and life is going to be brutal to them.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Just because life is brutal to us all.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: If I can make it a little less brutal by
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: not bringing dudes in and out of their life.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Then I'm going to do that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: And it's also a luxury to meet these kids.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: You get it, Kelly. Like you get to be my children.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: That's a big deal. That is not, you meet my kids.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: You have just been touched by God. Okay. So you
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: don't just get to come in here and be touched
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: by God, you know, for the hell of it.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: You got to bring something really special to meet them.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: I'm even weird about it with my nieces and my nephews.
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: Like I, I brought one guy into their life and
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: they still to this day is like, where's the boogeyman?
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, they called him the boogeyman. And I'm like,
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: oh my God, we're not together anymore. But you know,
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: that's not my case.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Because it's still the same feeling.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: I was, when I got divorced, I was, I was at,
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: you know, I was the editor of L accessories. And so,
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: and I was at L and I was at goth.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: I was the editor of goth L Gotham and I
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: was an editor at Hamptons. And so I was responsible
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: for so much content back in the day before content
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: was like a thing. Like I was, you know, I
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: was creating magazines, um, three of them at the same time,
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: which was a lot.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: And I remember I watched it on the show.
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: So I had all of these and then I was
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: at page six. So I was, you know, I had
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: my column on page six.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: And so I.
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: Had all of these people around and so my kids
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: when they were younger just were around a lot of
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: different people and they never thought they were like they
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: never were like oh my god who is this person
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: who's that person and I never was like oh this
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: is our you know there were like you know two
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: guys and I actually dated that were very significant and
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: I you know I told them you know like this
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: is my man friend and we're going to be spending
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: some time together and doing things and we're like okay
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: great like but they didn't care because all they cared
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: about is me and them Which is normal.
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: And which is healthy.
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: They should not, your child should not be connecting with,
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: you know, boyfriends or, you know, male friends until it's
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: a very, very crucial time.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Because... I.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Think so too.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: And that's on the mom. That's on the mom. The
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: mom should not be saying, hey, I need help. You, man,
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: help me. No.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: You.
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: go to your community, go to your friend group and say,
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: I need friends. I need to help raise these children.
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: We're a community. This is how it used to be
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: where the, all the women would come together. They'd raise
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: the children together. And if you do meet someone that special,
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: who is a good person, that's, that's amazing. But our
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: responsibility as mothers is to raise and nurture these children
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: in the best way possible. And that's what I did.
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: I mean, and it wasn't easy.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, No.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: After the magazine business and then writing all these books
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: and being on television and having all the things I
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: was so proud of be defamed.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what?
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: You don't like that I'm a model. Got it. You
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: don't like that I'm a writer. Got it. You don't
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: like that I provide for my children.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Got it.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, but I'm still going.
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: To continue to do it just because these women don't
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: like that doesn't mean that I don't understand my responsibility.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: And I do. And I did. And I'm really proud
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: of them. And so now it's time for me.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Now it's like, Oh my gosh. I love, cause your
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: kids are like grown. They're like 25 and 28 and
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: they're amazing. Your kids are gorgeous.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: They are so cute. You would love them. They're such
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: nice girls. They're really like, they're great. They're like, where
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: are they? Where do they live? They both live in
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: New York.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: And how cute that Kelly's oldest, no youngest.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Is it the youngest that's named C?
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: No, that's the oldest C. Yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: The oldest is C. The baby is Teddy, right? C-S-E-A.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: And when I was naming, so I have an ocean.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: I know, remember? We were talking about that. Yes. I know.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: And when I was thinking about Sosa's name, my two-year-old,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: so many people were like, I bet she's going to
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: name her baby the same as Kelly Ben Simone's daughter, C.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: To go with ocean. So good.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: That is so cute. It's so good. Isn't that a
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: beautiful name? Like ocean, sea, like it's so beautiful.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: It's so freaking powerful. And how amazing is it having
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: two girls?
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm so blessed.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: I'm so is it not everything? I mean, I do
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: have my godson. So I have like many godsons. They're
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: all my boys. And I love them so much. But
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: it is so I feel very, very, very.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: Blessed to have two girls.
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: And it's a huge responsibility to raise girls like to
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: raise them with self-respect.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: For them, for themselves, for their bodies, for their minds.
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: To make sure that people don't get into their brains
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: and try to take away their superpowers.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: So I've been so.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: Adamant about making sure that my girls have absolutely everything
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: in here.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: This is the mothership. This is where the money goes,
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: right here. Not the rings, not the Cartier, not the bullshit.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: It's here.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: My kids have brains that nobody can take away from them.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Not one person. That was my father.
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: He was just like, you instill these strong values and
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: education in these girls. and they will be smooth sailing forever.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, what a fabulous thing for your dad to
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: be teaching. He's like, I wanted this.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, I can, I, I don't need
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: any of that.
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: I just need love, genuine kindness and, And for someone
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: to be fun and I'm very playful.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: I want to have fun. I want to do sand angels.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I want to hang out with you guys.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that comes with age, but I'm
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: telling you, there was a time where I was like,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Chanel bags, new Range Rovers, private jets, sign me up.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: But then you learn, then you're like, I don't know why,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: but that has never, that has never enticed me.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, you will, you would see.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: That from my record of men. I mean, no job,
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: no car, no money.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you though, it wasn't a regular thing
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: for me, but with, when a certain person came into
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: my life, it was very enticing. And then as I continued,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: thank God to work and, you know, do all of
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: these things, I did Vanderpump. And I was like, none
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: of this, like, I really, what I want from a man,
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I want his time and his consistency.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: And communication, that's it.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Like it's very basic, but it's actually very, very hard
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: for men. And I'm starting to do this 90 day thing.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: You have to provide all three of those for 90
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: days before I even think.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: About sleeping with you.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: So that we're going to have great content for the
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: sex podcast.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: I love this.
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, because 90 days is what, what did
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: they say?
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Three months till we really know someone.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: Yes. And by the way, The two guys in the
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: past five years that I have let into my world,
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: three months and it's over and done with.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: It's like, what was the point of that?
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think that's just so healthy. And I
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: think it just it's just nice to hear that, you know,
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: a beautiful woman like you is like really.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Respectful of herself.
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: And like, you know what you want. And there's not, there's,
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: that's so attractive to men. They love that.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: They love that. They want to make sure that you're safe,
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: but it's just nice for them too.
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: That, you know, it's like, I think men get very
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: nervous when, you know, women now are very, very, they're
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: either super independent or they're super needy. And I think
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: that if a needy, if a guy is needy to me,
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: I'm like, no, I have so much responsibility. I cannot,
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: parent you i'm sorry like right.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Um and so i just love that you have those boundaries.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah and you know what it's it goes up and
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: down like sally and i have spoken about this a
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: lot there there are time periods where i'm like you
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: know what i'm just gonna like sleep with dudes like
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: and and it's never these like random guys it's always
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: like oh it's this guy i've known for 10 years
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: we'll just start sleeping with him again he was great
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: recycling i'm a recycler in many areas I don't see anything.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: Wrong with that. I know people are like, oh my God,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: you don't go back.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I mean, I personally don't go back.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: But I don't see anything wrong with that.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: I think that if there was something and you meet
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: someone again and you have a little moment and it's fun.
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: The only reason that I'm not a big fan of
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: recycling is because, you.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: Know, people say that, okay, I'm just having sex and
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: it doesn't matter. And I'm still out there looking, but
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: it does matter. you're having sex with somebody.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I love where your head's at right now.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: You're having sex and you're connecting with someone and that serotonin,
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: when they text, you're like sex, sex, sex.
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: And the other guy who's like, Hey, um, do you
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: want to go on a run? I'm like, sure. But
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: I'm not thinking about him because I'm thinking about the sex, sex, sex.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Totally. I'm also a big believer in the universe. And
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I think if I say to the universe, I want
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: to find my person, but then my actions are, I'm
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: willing to just sleep with someone to, you know, you know,
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I'm just a squirrel.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Trying to get a nut, but there's no emotional connection.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: It's just sex.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I think the universe is going to look at me
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: and go, well, you don't want to find your person
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: because you're out in the streets still.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Agreed.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: This is what everyone says to me.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: They're like, Sally, You got to act like a wife
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: if you want to be a wife.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, what are you going to do?
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: Wear pearls and a Chanel bag and be like, darling,
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: let me like make you a turkey sandwich. You're like, no,
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: they have to be. They have to be. They have
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: to be the ones that come to you. They come
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: to you. They hunt. Like, I mean, it is very simple.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: Hunters and gatherers and nurturers. And I don't care how
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: old you are. That is how men are raised. And
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: that is how women are raised. You can talk about it.
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: You can talk about how it doesn't work, how.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: It does work. You can go forth and prosper and
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: enjoy the conversation.
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: That is the male dynamic and the female dynamic.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: And, you know, you just have to really enjoy your life.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: But by the way, one of the things too, is like.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: If you're on the pill, the way that you- Like
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: birth control?
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: Birth control.
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: The way that you- see a man because there's no
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: pheromones because you don't you can't smell and the other
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: man because you're on birth control so your body is
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: already pregnant so what that's why we had all this
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: divorce that's why this whole world got crazy is because
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: of birth control all of a sudden women.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Are like oh this is an interesting take this is
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: the truth.
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah i'm like so here's the teeth we want When
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: you're on hormones, you're not smelling a man and saying,
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: I want to fornicate, procreate.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I want to have kids with you. You usually smell them.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: It's like your pheromones. I always say about the guy
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: that I was so.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Into, it was like a chemical reaction.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: You can't help it.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you, Sally. I mean, if you're on the
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: pill or off the pill. But when you're on the pill,
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: you have a checklist. you know, X amount dark, manifesting
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: exactly what he looks like.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: But when you're off the pill, you're like, oh my God,
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: I'm just so attracted to this guy. I don't know
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: what's going on.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: People are like, why is that tall woman with that
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: short back? And she's like, because I'm crazy about him.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: And you should see his bank account.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: And you should see his third leg.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: He's much taller.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: If he were able to stand up on his dick.
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: Birth control is what stopped women from really finding their
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: true love and their true partners. Birth control stopped it
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: because it puts your body in a state of pregnancy.
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: So you're not smelling men. So that's why when it
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: happened in like, you know, when we got birth control
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: in the seventies and eighties and all of a sudden
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: everybody was getting divorced because of the pill.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: That's my theory. I have a lot of theories, you guys.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: What if you're smelling too many men?
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Between that, the birth control theory, we have to, you
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: have to like, oh my God.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: So true.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: Earth control theory.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: And also the.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Turkey sandwich theory.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: I'm fucking dead.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: So you should write a book, Cal.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, this is just, I've never heard of any
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: of these things and I'm enlightened today. I gained a
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: lot of fucking knowledge.
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: I haven't, I was like, people are like, okay, you've
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: written all these books, these history books and all these novels.
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: And they're like, now it's time for you to write
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: your own book. And I'm like, I'm not ready for
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: that because I'm still living through stuff. So let me
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: get into a real relationship and then I'll write a book.
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: But I don't want to write a book about my
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: life until that chapter is locked and loaded.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Write the book when you feel like the story is
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: not necessarily complete, but where you feel like.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: It's another chapter, like we're locked in. Yeah, I totally
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: get that.
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: Because then you're giving, you're not just hypothesizing, you're giving
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: real advice about what happened to you. And I think
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: that's important. I mean, right now I'm just in this
• 38:05
  Speaker 5: like high dating era. you know, just like having fun
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: meeting guys at delis, enjoying my life. Um, but I
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: know that that's going to come to a close and
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: that I'm going to meet someone special.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: I know that I know he's there.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, from your mouth to God's ears. And you spoke
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: that for all three of us. I love this before
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I let you go. I do have to ask you
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: a question with your girls being obviously older. Now, do
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: you guys have open conversation about dating and sex?
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: Yes, they talk to me about that. Yeah, they talk
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: to me. But I mean, you have to remember too,
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: that a lot.
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: Of women think it's okay to have these intimate conversations
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: with their kids.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, I am my daughter's mother and parent. Like
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: I am a parent. I am not their buddy. I'm
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: not their best friend.
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: If I don't like something, they need to stop. Like
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: I am their parent. But when we talk about things,
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: I'm listening to them. I want to hear what their
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: thoughts are. I want to hear why they want to
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: do X or why they want to do Y. Or
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: if my, you know, when my oldest broke up with
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: her boyfriend, she was like, I just want to be
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: this person. And so it's just so also like, just
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: like breathtaking to hear my daughters.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: I'm going to cry to.
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: Hear them like talk about what they want and who
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: they are.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: And like, it's just, yeah. and even you too.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like you're gorgeous and thank you
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: for being so open.
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: Oh my God.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Y'all are making me want kids.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: You have plenty of time, baby girl, but it does,
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: it goes by in the blink of an eye. And
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: so whenever we have someone on the podcast, who has
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: daughters who are, you know, older than mine. I always
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: look to the mamas to give me advice on how
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: to navigate that when it does come. And they're like,
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: you don't need to worry about that right now. And
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, but you blink and it's here. So I
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: have to collect all the information and advice that I
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: possibly can.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: Yes. Yes.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: You have your community of women who help you and
• 40:15
  Speaker 5: whether that's from the pod, whether that's from work, whatever,
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: like always like, you know, call your friends and be like,
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: I need advice.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: Because that's who we were. We were that fan.
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: We were that we, we women were that family. And
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: somewhere along the line, I don't know what happened, but
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: the competition between women is so crazy. I'm like, I'm
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: not competing with you. I'm too busy competing with myself.
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: Believe me, you are not even on my trajectory. I
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: just want my friends to help me with the things
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: that I'm going through and be able to like talk honestly.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: And listen, I'm here for you. If you ever want
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: to ask me anything, I'm here for you. And it's
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: not easy what you're going through, but I admire you.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, we love you so much. I'm so happy that
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: we found time to get you on the podcast. And
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I am so excited about the new show. So go
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: and just live it up, baby. Be yourself as you
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: always are. And we can, once, once it comes out,
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: let's have you back on the pod so we can
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: really deep dive into it.
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: We're going to, we're going to love it. It's, it's
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: so fantastic. And I'm really, really, really happy.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: But I think the.
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: Ultimate compliment for me was when I, you know, when
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: I see the girls from New York and they're always like, can.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: You please come on the show? Can you please film
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: with us?
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: And just, you know, it's like, there's, there are different,
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: you know, age groups and they're just like, we just.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: Really want you. We just really want to film with you.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: Oh my God.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: That is a huge compliment.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: It is. Because you're fun and you make excellent television
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: just by being yourself.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: So, you know, like I'm not here to do anything
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: to anybody.
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: I don't need, you know, this is, this is like
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: how I, this is a big part of like, just
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: celebrating who I am.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: And if you like me, great. And if you don't
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: great too, like, I love that. I'm just like, you know,
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: just having a good time.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: We'll continue to have a good time. Thank you so
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: much for being on the podcast. Go have the greatest
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: day of your whole fricking life.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: And when am I going to see you?
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to come out there and to go to
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: a deli and find a.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Man eating a turkey sandwich.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: Can you imagine the two of us? Oh my God.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: The next time I'm in LA, I'm going to call you.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to be like, meet me at
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: this deli right now. And you're going to be like,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: you're so gorgeous. And I'm going to be like in
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: running shores or something.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, please.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: We're both going to step in there looking like a
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: whole snack, a whole meal.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Obviously. I love that. I love it. All right.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: We love you, Kel. Thank you, my love.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: Bye guys.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: That was excellent. Sally, did you learn a lot?
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: I learned that I might need to go back on
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: birth control to stop smelling all these men out here.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I'm still a little foggy on that.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: I'm confused.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: I need to go back and re-listen to like what
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: she said about the sandwiches and.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: So basically you find your love of your life at
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: delis and if you're off birth control.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Wonderful.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: What I have learned is I am going to be
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: consuming a lot of turkey sandwiches and procreating a lot.
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: Yes. I'm in Miami. Like with the guy we were,
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: we're figuring things out.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Because I'm here to support you, baby.
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: Like we just had a conversation. Like I wanted to
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: make sure that he's cool with me and Austin's friendship
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: because I just booked a flight to Germany for the
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: Christmas markets.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Just the two of you?
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: No, I think Madison and Brett are coming too.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: And Lala and her kids and her mom and her brother.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: And you and your kids and anyone who wants to come.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Wait, when is that? December.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: And I'm so excited.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: So it's during Christmas time, obviously the Christmas market. But
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: you know, there's like places.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: Have you been to the place in New York where
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: it's a restaurant, but it's like you walk in and
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: it's like Christmas grew up?
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah. but I year round. I love Christmas 24, seven, 24, seven.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I'll find the name of it. 24, seven.
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: Oh my God.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: I love the greatest place on earth next week for
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: fashion week.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm sending it to you.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: Send it to me. I'll go.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Cause you should go. Um, all right. I love you.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Have fun with ghost. Thank you, baby.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys for listening to another episode of sex unlocked.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Sally and I will catch you next week.
• 44:30
  Speaker 6: Bye.