Latest / Erotic Spirit Podcast / WHY ACCEPTING THE END COULD CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOVE

Transcript

WHY ACCEPTING THE END COULD CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOVE · Erotic Spirit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Tantra is acceptance of all.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: We don't identify things as good or bad in tantra.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: We accept everything as a spark of the divine, as we've been talking about.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: So that means that we accept and celebrate death just as much as we accept and celebrate life.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: And that is so radically beautiful and just gives me chills over my whole body.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like we say yes to death as much as we say yes to birth and to life.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: We embrace every part of the human experience, every part of the human body, all of it.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Today we talk about all things sex and relationships.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Breathing, how you can be looking at another person and it reveals the depth of your nature.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And even about sex and death and how that can transform your life when you start to look at that differently.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna want to stick around.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And today I have my lovely guest, Lillian Christina, a tantra teacher and sex and intimacy coach.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to be here.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to just jump in.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want to jump into your work and how you got started.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of a long story, but it began uh with yoga, actually.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: I started practicing yoga as a young child.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I was already very familiar with a lot of the world of Tantra.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: I just didn't know it yet.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: So things like meditation, chanting, kirton, these are all uh things that I uh fell in love with at a very early age, not knowing that along the way that would really inform my step into Tantra.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I found Tantra when I first moved to Arizona six years ago.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Found my first teacher, studied with her for a couple of years, and uh never thought that I would teach Tantra.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: I really thought I was simply exploring it for my own evolution and developing this relationship with it for my own path.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then funny enough, I went to Costa Rica and sat with ayahuasca, and ayahuasca told me that I was gonna become a Tantra teacher.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that was over four years ago now.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I've been on this path of teaching and guiding and leading some incredible people for four years.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and it's been such a journey, such a wild ride.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, for people that don't know, and from now your lived lens and embodied lens of Tantra, what is it?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's a great question because um I think there is some confusion.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: And the reality is Tantra has so many different interpretations, so many different meanings, so many different applications all around the world.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but the tantra that my work is grounded in it comes from ancient India.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, by some estimates, it's three to five thousand years old.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: And it's this spiritual practice of um a variety of techniques and tools to help us realize our true nature.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Our true nature is one of divinity.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: So it's this recognition that all of us and everything around us is uh birthed from the same divine spark.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really like the core of Tantra.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: And from that place, there are all of these practices, including meditation, um, chanting, mantra, yantra, um, ritual, deity worship that help support this self-realization, this self-discovery.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: So when we think about that piece of the work, that's more classical tantra, so tantra that's rooted in the ancient traditions.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: But there's also uh such a wide variety of other tantric expressions.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: So one can find tantra in most Eastern religions and many Eastern spiritual practices, Tibetan Buddhism for one, Hinduism, of course, um, even some sects of Christianity.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then when we think about the West, bringing tantra to the West, most often what we find here is something called Neo Tantra.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: So it neo tantra is this interpretation of the ancient practices, but blends in kind of the needs of the modern-day collective when it comes to sensuality, sexuality, intimate relating, and embodiment.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so my work kind of encompasses all of that and is always grounded in the ancient roots of the practice, but also uh creates a level of accessibility and practicality for people and the needs of their daily lives and their relationships to self and to and to others.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so juicy.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when you actually get into, you know, your work and intimate relating, and say you have a couple that comes to you, I'm curious, is there anything along the way that you that just really wowed you that you were like, I didn't know that this work was calling me into this next level of myself with these containers that you're holding for people that are going deep within themselves, but then connecting to each other.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so much.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Everything wows me.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Even six years later, I'm wowed every single time I lead a room full of people, every single time I'm in a session with someone and I get connected to again that divine spark of life that lives in everything.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm just so humbled by it.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I think uh when you embrace Tantra in its totality, in its truth, it's such a humbling experience and such a connective experience, realizing that you are one thread in the fabric of consciousness and that everything is all one and you're a part of that oneness.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I mean, I could name a hundred different times where I've been in awe, uh, but truly it's it's every day of my work.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: Something just wows me.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: I learned something new, something surprises me.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's such a powerful healing medicine.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, no matter which kind of lineage or type of tantra that you're exploring, there are incredible possibilities for self-realization, again, self-discovery, and real healing both within yourself and within relationship to others.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh getting getting deep.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Relationship to others.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: So intimate relating.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: If someone was to say, what is it that you do?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what does that mean?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or what what is the expression of that mean?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: How would you describe that?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the way that um I view it is um applying all these concepts that we're talking about, oneness, sameness, non-duality, non-separateness, connection, applying them to relationships.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: So coming to understand um what does it take to um feel whole in relationship?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: What does it take to show up with full awareness and presence in relationship?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: And what's possible on the other side of that?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so it looks like helping people uh in whatever relationship configuration they find themselves in, put themselves in, um giving them tools and tricks and things to try to again open up more presence, more connection, more intimacy with each other, whether that intimacy is um simply in relationship or in sexual relationship or even platonic relationship.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: And um yeah.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I like that it's it's all kinds of it can be all kinds of relationship constructions.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it and the platonic side too, I think is important because I think really when you look at intimate relating, it's just relating.
• 8:20
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:20
  unknown: Absolutely.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: How am I relating to self?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you get to show all kinds of parts to people, like the possibilities.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, one of my favorite things kind of on that topic is um I teach eye gazing a lot.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's a very common thing you'll see in Tantra.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but one thing that really shocks people is I'll be teach teach eye gazing in a workshop and I'll say, I want you to go home and do this with your kids.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: And we think of um intimate relating or tantra as something that can only be applied to sexual relationship or intimate um partnership.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: And the reality is it can be applied to every uh connection in our lives.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: And some really miraculous things have happened when people come back and say, Yeah, I gazed with my kid and I've seen them in a way that they I never have.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: And we had this depth of connection that I never thought was possible.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: We saw each other at the level of the soul.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's also a big piece about what intimate relating and and and also tantra mean to me is uh really seeing someone for their true nature as they recognize our true nature, yeah, which is that of the the soul, the the endless, infinite, undying spark of divinity and and and soul that lives within all of us.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and I and eye gazing.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have had that experience many, many times, and I and I it's definitely a tool and tip that I do, but I'm curious.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I see a lot of people get activated with that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: It can really trigger a lot.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you think that is?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you have the answer, but I and I probably am thinking I've probably led eye gazing maybe 300 times.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yes like so many times, and and and it is true, it can bring up a lot.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: We we are beings that are wired for connection, living in a world and society that is um not wired for connection.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: We are um taught to, at least uh for large part in the West, to run away from deep intimate connection, um, especially if it's outside of the confines of a sexual or romantic partnership.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so eye gazing really asks us to confront our own fears and biases around intimately connecting with another human being.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: It also is an experience of mirroring, of really seeing yourself in the eyes of another.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that can be really activating.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and also sometimes people have very psychedelic experiences while eye gazing, no drugs needed, and that can be activating.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: What I find though, for the most part, um, that activation uh a lot of times comes from a deep longing and uh a deep emotion and love and realization that, like, oh, I'm actually craving this feeling in my life, and either grieving the times that we haven't been able to feel that or haven't had access to it, or longing for a future where we can feel that in our lives.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: And that I think is another piece of what intimate relating is like recognizing that longing that lives within most of us for these deep, heart-centered, uh, full relationships and moving through the process of perhaps grieving the relationships that we have that haven't uh met that mark.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then also looking to the future of how do I step forward with awareness and with tools to create that going forward, both in my existing relationships around me and in future ones.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's that's a lot to unpack with eye gazing.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: If anyone is listening, just give it a try.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Give it a try.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's amazing.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: Try with anyone.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can also eye gaze with yourself in the mirror.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have done that.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: That is very, it is very trippy.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I love it.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I have learned a lot about myself.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I like it.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so people, you maybe have a couple that comes in and they they're having say sex, intimacy problems.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that you do you find that it's just about that?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it something else?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is it something beyond just say sex and intimacy?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: The what I'll start with is I don't ever look at problems as problems.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: So whether it's an individual that comes to me or couple that comes to me and says, we have these issues that we want to fix, yeah.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I say, oh no, no, I'm not in the business of fixing issues because there aren't actually issues.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: There is something to look at.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: There's something to listen to, there's something to be held and observed and um to become present to.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really how I approach all of my work.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um, what I find is that couples that are having difficulties um in connection sexually, relationally, um, yeah, it's this whole constellation of everything else that's that's present in their lives, right?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, whether it be connected to uh sexual polarity, um, not feeling seen, not feeling heard, um, whether there is a particular sexual dysfunction that might be present, um, old wounds, resentments, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, uh, kids, like the daily stresses of life.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and instead of, you know, in traditional therapy, you know, you go in and you're talk, talk, talk, talk, talking and trying to work out the issues verbally and in the mind.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: And what my work does is says, like, okay, we'll do a little bit of that.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: But then let's get into the body.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Let's touch each other's bodies, let's um hold space for what comes alive when we intimately connect and um let go of the world for a few hours.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: And uh all of the tools that I teach uh allow couples in particular to step forward with um like truly a magical tool belt of skills to come back to love.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And ultimately, um, that's what I teach couples.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: How do we return to love?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: How do we come back to each other?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: How do we come back to this feeling that brought us together, the sacred spark of of love?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: And really it's it's all about that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is you're speaking my language.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I find that for myself, when I have dropped into deeper self-love, it's dropped me into a space of openness instead of judgment and receptivity.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so whatever's in front of me, if that's a person or experience, I'm just okay, this is something, something to be witnessed instead of, like you said, fixed.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that you said that instead of fixed, because there's a lot of fixing talk in society.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: And and I always inform potential clients of that because a lot of times they do come like to me um interested in working with me when they have they give me their list of issues that they have that they would like me to solve for them.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I say, that's not the approach that I take.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: I view you as a whole being.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: You're not a being that's missing any parts.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um there's nothing broken about you.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: This issue, quote unquote, is something it's a message that your body is sending you or that your relationship is sending you.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: And can we simply sit back and become present enough to really listen to it, to really hear it, and then watch what happens on the other side of that?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Witness, witnessing self.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: I find the transformation within self, it can really spark curiosity around how else I've been then living outside of it.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: When I start to see that shift, I'm like, oh, everything else can shift with me.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's not really, it's not happening to me.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so what is something juicy?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you're to talk about uh getting into the body, working with a couple, like what would be something for someone who's listening who might be like, I'm having some problems now, some tool or trick to get into their body, to uh work with their partner?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what what would be like one thing?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know you have so many things.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the thing that comes up, which I deem as perhaps one of the most important things, is the breath.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, can you become present to your breath without trying to change it, fix it, force it?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Can you just observe the breath?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it's like the simplest, or it seems so simple rather.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, can you just be present with the inhale as it moves through you?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: And can you be present with the exhale as it flows out?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: And can you notice what comes alive within you as you breathe?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: Can you feel the rise and fall of your belly and chest?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: Can you sense the air moving through your nostrils?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and coming into the present moment, I think, is always about the breath.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: You can't actually do it without it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and so that's kind of at the like very tantra 101, yeah, I think, right?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: Is bringing awareness to the present moment through the breath.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: One of the definitions of tantra, um, and again, there's many kind of interpretations, definitions, translations, is uh expansion through awareness.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, really the only way that the expansion, the spiritual liberation is possible is when we come into that pure present awareness.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: And the way that we can do that literally right now, it's by breathing.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: So that's how I always start.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you and you're right, it can seem so simple, but also it can be one of the things that it is last.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or if someone is really dysregulated, I I think of the times even when I had PTSD and I had to remember okay, like this is how am I breathing?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Am I doing like I just it I was all over.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, though just that bit right there can just bring center in and come back into just right now.
• 19:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: For as long as we can until we breathe again.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um you're bringing up a point that I think is one of the really beautiful parts of Tantra.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: I've had the privilege of working with a lot of people who are in a journey of healing trauma.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, whether it be trauma related to their sexuality or things like military conflict or childhood abuse, like there's so much that can surface.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I think, like you're saying, grounding in the present moment, bringing the awareness to the breath, really learning how and training ourselves to land right here, right now, is one of the beautiful kind of first steps on the path of really moving forward away from the past and into a future where all of these parts of us and the experiences that we have can be alchemized into our greatest expansion and evolution.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: I heard that.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we're looking at breath, right?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: I say I I really get back into breath with self.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: How is there anything with a partner?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that shifts when you bring that in with another another person, or can it look different?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: So if breath is step one, working with a couple, then step two is breathing together.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: So um, just like eye gazing kind of brings us into this union, this oneness, the sameness, this mirroring, so does the breath with the partner.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a variety of different um tantric practices, breath work techniques, different positions to hold each other in while we breathe.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but ultimately, like it can be the most simple thing.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like sit with your partner, look into their eyes, and say, let's take a deep breath in and out.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: And just keep doing that and watch the magic unfold.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: And again, there's layers as you um kind of move into more advanced practices, um, layers of more expansion, of discovery within the practice with the partner.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: But it really can be as simple as that.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: And again, what's beautiful about experiencing tantra with a partner or really just the beauty of relationship in general, is that we can access so much more about ourselves through the eyes of another, through the mirroring that occurs.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: This is why I think some of our greatest healing and our greatest spiritual expansion actually happens in partnership.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you probably know what I'm talking about.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Most people know what I'm talking about.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, yeah, relationships are so beautiful and so challenging because they're meant to be, because they are sometimes the only thing that can unveil these corners or these um uh parts of ourselves that we haven't wanted to look at.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's out in the open and we have to feel it all.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so that.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: That process can occur even in the most simple uh act of breathing with a partner.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And everything you said because I actually know people who say sometimes like, I gotta do all the work on my own, and I'm just gonna keep doing the healing work.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm not gonna go out there until I and find someone until I'm fully healed.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, you know, you actually get to embody what it is that you're working on in connection with other.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that mirror comes up and it's really big.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets to actually really show what is it within me that I have now the chance to embody, or do I choose the old way and I get to sit with the pain?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: So and I love that you said through breath, all that can come up.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I find that getting into the body tells much sometimes much more than what the mind says.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: The mind is like, oh, okay, I want to tell all the things of my past, and the body's in conflict, or it's a it's just solidifying all of it.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when we talk about dropping into the body, what kind of stories can or can be healed through this, through our experience, through things that you you help people with?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, somatic work is a cornerstone of all of my work, like really.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and is a big part of uh the entire spectrum of Tantra, but also specifically neo-tantra.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um and what a lot of neo-Tantra um teachers realized over the last hundred years or so is that Westerners have a hard time really landing in the kind of classical tantric practice without first getting into the body, shaking things loose in the body.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so somatics have become a really foundational piece of my work.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and a foundational piece of finding that element of presence.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um and there's so much that's possible when we come into connection with our physical body.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and um that is Thank you, universe.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is sponsored by My Awakening Within.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking for some sort of practice to drop into your pleasure, to reconnect to your body, to start to build and cultivate safety from within, join me on this online self-guided journey where you will start to learn breathwork techniques, emotional release practices, and start to build this foundation of safety and security from a place of presence.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: So join me online, myawakeningwithin.com or linked in the show notes.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so we realize that, or they realize that there's some level of movement that has to happen in the body to awaken this presence.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so somatics and tantra are deeply intertwined for a variety of reasons.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: But um what I find is that as we move and shake and allow energy to travel through us, so much comes up, so much more than beyond words, beyond the confines of the physical body and the physical experience.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times we have so much locked up in our tissues, which any practitioner of yoga or somatics like knows this truth, that there's so much living in our tissues, whether it be things from the past or emotions that we're holding on to.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: And um, somatics kind of is is the way to help release us to create this kind of mute more pure vessel to be able to hold kind of the deeper um depths of this practice and Tantra.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, not to say that we're showing up impure because Tantra doesn't believe in impurity at all, actually.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it allows us to have a vessel that can be more attuned to ourselves and more open to what Tantra has to offer.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when we again listen to, bear witness to our own story that's living inside of our bodies.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: And um I don't think that my work would be possible unless I was able to help people access that that part of them, um, but also, you know, touch their bodies, uh, move energy physically for them, guide them into doing that for themselves.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's become such a core tenet of what I preach and what I offer.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, bear witness to what's happening in the body.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: I like that you said that because I feel like that in itself is this un this unraveling of story that is beyond words.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's all the stuff that can be trapped up and bearing witness that just brings aliveness to something that can was never seen or witnessed before.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: And it can be scary and it can be really activating.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and that's why I it can be so beautiful to allow that process to unfold in the arms of a practitioner, in the space of um someone that um is aware of all of this and has the ability to guide you a little bit deeper and hold space for the process that's unraveling and opening for you.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I find that someone that can witness us in our vulnerability can really help rewire mindset and thoughts around that with even someone in the future.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: So just even that practitioner holding space with that vulnerable part of us, like okay, I can do this.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the and that can set a foundation for everything in life, like being vulnerable with anything and everyone.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I I love that that's part of your work.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like, okay, we're gonna, there's a reminder here of who we are.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: And and you're that mirror and reminder holding that that up.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is it.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and really all I'm doing is giving someone permission.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: I am signing their permission slip that that they can do this, that this is theirs to claim, that they deserve this.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I all I'm doing is reflecting back, like unconditional love and non-judgment.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then they do the rest.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so I like really humbly hold this role of teacher and guide with the knowledge that like I'm not actually the one like doing the healing.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the one holding the space.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the one witnessing, and I'm the one giving them permission to do it themselves.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: That is my language of what I share with people too, as well.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a beautiful way to just it's empowering.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's empowering for someone to realize that, oh, I'm I'm the healer.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I can step here in that the mirror of that person, the practitioner and the guide is uh really doing a lot to hold a frequency of that presence and that love.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a lot, but it's also it's on me as the person stepping in and receiving and being that space to say, I get I get to choose to be some to do something different.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's actually uh one it's kind of uh reminiscent of Tantra in a way, because um, in Tantra, it's this recognition of our true nature, our divine nature, um, that we are one um piece of this spark of divinity that lives in everything.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: And when we actually claim that, we actually claim like, I am God, I am goddess, I am a piece of divinity, we're like, holy shit, I am responsible for the creation of my own life, the creation of what I want to birth into the world.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm responsible for my own healing.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then empowering ourselves to step forward with that knowledge and that sovereignty that comes alive when we really own that and claim it and say yes to it.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's quite powerful.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, very powerful.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that power can bring up a lot of fear and so much, which is a piece of why Tantra, I think, can be so activating or perhaps it's so polarizing.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a variety of reasons as to why that is, but yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I I love it.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, we have the mirrors, we have, you know, part of so many things that you do.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now we have if we get deeper into intimate relating, or just not necessarily deeper, but what else would you love to reveal that people don't normally think about intimate relating?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, can go anywhere.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: And um something that has really been alive for me recently is this idea of death and endings and how it relates to intimate relating and how it also relates to Tantra.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: So um, you know, I think we in the West live in a very death phobic culture.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's not something that we're comfortable with, it's not something that we're even familiar with, it's kind of something we avoid.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I think what that creates for us is this fear of endings.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: And in relationship, um, I think in order to be fully present to relationship, to fully be able to show up in the way that we want to, we have to come to full acceptance that there will be an ending.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like we have to really accept that all relationship will end, whether it's a friendship you have with a coworker or your relationship with your child or your lover, right?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: At some point, relationship always ends, whether it's through a breakup, betrayal, uh, or death ultimately.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: And um, what I found just in these last few months, I've been moving through this end of a partnership is this full coming to terms with the ending really allows us to be more present for the beginning and the middle.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: But we have to be in acceptance of all three pieces.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I think, in order to consciously show up in this spirit of like true intimate relating, tantric relating and um love that um kind of transcends what the culture tells us that love and relationship are.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's a very nuanced topic and um probably activating as well for some people.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I think really important, like there has to be a full radical acceptance of the birth, life, and death of all relationships.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: And when we come to that place of like, yes, I I accept it, I let go of the outcome.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: I believe we're able to show up with so much more awareness and appreciation for every single moment.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like if I'm here with you now, I know our relationship will end someday.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: But it allows me to be in the space of like, I'm so fucking grateful.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: I get to sit here with you right now and look into your eyes.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna show up so fully for this moment because I know that these moments won't last forever.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh I'm getting emotional with that one.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that is really activating.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's I I keep hearing presence.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I'm in that space of understanding and I can that that feels like for me when I hear that, I can drop into this moment.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like just the now is what matters.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Once I I know all the things and and beginnings, middle, death, yeah, it's ending.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I can just be here now.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, instead of like attaching to well, like, how will it end?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's like just it will, yeah.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: And in this part of the life, yeah, it's part of the life.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just I keep hearing presence.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: And this is also where tantra comes into this particular part of the conversation.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: Tantra is acceptance of all.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: We don't identify things as good or bad in Tantra.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: We accept everything as a spark of the divine, as we've been talking about.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: So that means that we accept and celebrate death just as much as we accept and celebrate life.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_02: And that is so radically beautiful and just gives me chills over my whole body.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like we say yes to death as much as we say yes to birth and to life.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: We embrace every part of the human experience, every part of the human body, all of it, every single part.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: And um, this is, I think, one of the most healing parts of Tantra because not only um are we accepting kind of these things outside of our control, uh, we're also accepting all of these different parts of us in integrating all of the parts of us, especially the parts that we deem or label as bad or ugly or scary, right?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: I can say, I I love you just as much as the good and beautiful parts, the things that I label as such.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: I embrace all of that.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then we can extend that outward to our partners, to the people in our lives.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: We can say, like, I see you in your totality, I'm present to your totality and I can offer you that same mirror of love, non-judgment, and um acceptance no matter what the nature of that relationship is or where it goes, like walking through the world with that level of awareness, but also spiritual perspective, like seeing the truth of what actually is, the truth of the nature of reality, which this is what I believe around the truth of the nature of reality and um what many tantricks believe.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the nature of reality.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I love it.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like there for me, I heard this celebration.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: If I was to think of what tools can I look at when I'm seeing, like how do I actually drop into this acceptance of death?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: For me, that was one that I heard.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: But is there something that you've been moving through that would help support that acceptance of death and intimate relating or just yeah, death with the ending or ending a relationship, whatever that is?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think it's starting to become aware of where there is change, because change is a form of death.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: We switch jobs or we move apartments, right?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's like there's a death in that.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, can you just become present to the things that are born, the things that die as they move through your life without attachment to them?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_02: But then also really honoring these bigger death portals, right?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the end of a relationship, uh, the loss of someone that you love, um, the annihilation of a part of yourself, right, that needed to die in order for something else to be born.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like really honoring the grieving process and throwing yourself into the grieving process as deeply and as passionately as you threw yourself into the beginning, into the inception of whatever that was.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is um kind of what I'm learning through this process of the end of this partnership that I was in is can can we celebrate the ending just as much as the beginning?
• 37:49
  unknown: Right.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: So we think about the beginning of relationship.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're so passionate, we're so excited to be there.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_02: Everything is just, oh my gosh, everything's amazing.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_02: We're talking about the lives that we want to create together, our dreams, our hopes, our desires.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: We're building something.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so my invitation is can we take that exact same energy to the end?
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, can we build that from death?
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like what is possible when we celebrate that part just as much as the beginning and hold it with the same reverence, the same intention, the same energy, as hard as that might be, as sticky as that might feel.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, how do we hold all parts of it?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: And uh But I think it starts with just even accepting that death is a reality in our lives, not just physical death, but the death of every moment is a little death, right?
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_02: Every single moment.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, right, because a moment has come and a moment has passed, and we're moving into the next one.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: And that's like the the the truth of of life.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I'm also thinking of um in in French, I don't know if it's the direct translation, but a version of a way you can say orgasm in French is le petit mort, the little death.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, le petit mort.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um sorry, my French is terrible.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, which is so interesting too, that there's this level of like orgasm is its own birth and death.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: Which that's a whole other conversation.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: The spiritual birth and death of orgasm, but yeah.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I like that you dropped that in at the end there.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so good.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: I gosh, there's there's so much with this.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like bringing awareness to perspective in death can really help ground in all these areas in life that we look at.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is relationship, but it's like you said, job, it's all these things.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: And bringing grounding in this, it's okay.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Change is okay.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: But really honoring it, I love that you said that reverence, peace, yeah, is a lot of people just push it away.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I have found this phrase for me really supports my growth that love is never wasted.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that it just because something ended doesn't mean that like the love never happened or that even stops either.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: No, it never does.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Love is infinite, it's never wasted, as you said.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: It never dies.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: It simply goes on and on and on and on and fills up this infinite uh well of love.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: So every time that you love something or someone, you add a drop of love into this well of love that it goes on forever, that you can always access, that's always available to you, that's inside of you.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: And um but we have to be willing to hold the grief and the pain as much as we're willing to hold the love and the juicy, yummy feelings that we like.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_02: We have to be willing to hold the other side of it too, in order to really taste the richness of human relationships and truly like every aspect of life.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: I that I get this picture of like the more that I can hold all these parts that people are usually can be a little bit afraid of, like the grief and the pain and all that, the more I can hold that for myself.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: It I get this picture of like I can hold everything much more.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: It just feels like everything's in balance.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not afraid of that, so I'm not afraid of like limitless capacity of love.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like it's like I can hold it all because I'm fucking limitless.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: Truly.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: And this is another kind of core tenet of what I teach in in my work is this idea of surrender.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: So surrender is is honestly like it's radical acceptance, and it's also this like diving into a flood of trust and trusting, believing that something will catch you at the bottom, not knowing whether something will.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's kind of the nature of what life is all about.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's like we don't have any control.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and the more that we try to control the uncontrollable, the more that we suffer.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so true spiritual liberation is actually surrender and acceptance, and there isn't really another way.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and yeah, and that kind of pulls in a lot of Buddhist philosophy as well, which um again, uh, one can find uh a lot of Tantra present within Tibetan Buddhism specifically.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: So there's all this like merging of all of these different belief systems that occur, and and Tantra really weaves this beautiful thread through so many parts of the world, so many religious and spiritual traditions, and um pulls on uh so many different parts of what we believe and uh as human beings.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: And uh yeah, it's just such a rich, rich, delicious practice that is so incredibly vast, it takes lifetimes to fully unwind and unravel.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I feel like it does take lifetimes to unravel.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if we were to share, if there was one thing about intimate intimate relating that you'd want someone to know who's listening to this.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know just like one so many things, but if there was just one one thing that's moving through you right now, what would that be?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_02: This idea of like sameness, of like the same idea of love in my heart, the same spark of life is the same spark of life that's in everyone in this room, everyone in your life.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: And um, the more that we can really see that and honor that and come into that like true non-duality, non-separateness, um, the more peace that's available in our lives.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_02: And also the more connection to the divine, whatever the divine is for you is possible.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: And and that's actually one of the other pieces of Tantra that I love is Tantra doesn't say um you have to follow a set of rules or you have to be a part of our religion to in order to um glean wisdom from this practice.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: You can show up exactly as you are, you can believe whatever you want to believe.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: And here's some extra wisdom for you.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: So no matter what you believe, um, there's a way to look at another and to also look at ourselves as connected inherently to the divine.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: What a what a way to end.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so how can people find you?
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where would be the best?
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my website, embody-tantra.com.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm also on Instagram at embody tantra.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: And you can just also Google me, Lillian Corsina.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_02: I come up if you Google me.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you so much for having me.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_02: This is so fun.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_02: I wish we could talk longer.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much you're like, there's there's millennia to unravel my yes.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: Truly.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for coming on.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and thank you for tuning in today to the Rodic Spirit Podcast.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: You could find it on all the major platforms out there.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to hit that like button and subscribe to us.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, and bye for now.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for hanging with us today.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you find value in this podcast, please like, subscribe, and share.