Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Opposites Attract with John Henry

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Opposites Attract with John Henry · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast
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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
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Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today, we
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Speaker 2: have a man that you will remember from last season
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Speaker 2: a Bachelor in Paradise on the show. His name is
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Speaker 2: John Henry, John Henry. I have a question for you.
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Speaker 2: Is Henry the last name or is it like a
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Speaker 2: combined first name.
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Speaker 3: It's actually my middle name.
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Speaker 4: Okay, So my family, they're kind of old school growing up.
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Speaker 4: John Henry is like what everybody called me my family,
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Speaker 4: A lot of my like my hometown friends growing up,
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Speaker 4: you know, it was always John Henry.
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Speaker 3: And then like my sister, she's Kate Marie. My other
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Speaker 3: sister is Lauren Ann. So I've kind of gone by
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Speaker 3: John Henry pretty much like my whole life. But then,
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Speaker 3: I mean, I go by John two. Like, I don't
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Speaker 3: introduce myself as John Henry. I'll just say John. But
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Speaker 3: then once they get to know me, it's John Henry.
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Speaker 5: And this is one of the worst phenomenons in the
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Speaker 5: United States. And I'll tell you why. I'm married a
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Speaker 5: girl from the South and all of her friends have
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Speaker 5: two first names, and so when I first met her,
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Speaker 5: it was hard enough to know the one name, then
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Speaker 5: I have to know the two names, and all of
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Speaker 5: them are like Anna, Lie, Anna, Kate, Anna, Meredith, like
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Speaker 5: they all have two names.
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Speaker 4: It's hard, yeah, but with a name like John, everybody's John,
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Speaker 4: so it makes it easy. You know, if someone just
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Speaker 4: sells John, everybody looks. But then you know, if they
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Speaker 4: say John Henry, it's like, okay, that's me. So it
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Speaker 4: just makes it easier. What's your last name, Spurlock?
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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, John Henry Spurlock. Well, we wanted to
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Speaker 2: have you here today, of course to talk about your
1:47
Speaker 2: experience in Bachelor in Paradise. You are one of the
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Speaker 2: engaged couples this season, season nine, and it's how do
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Speaker 2: you feel about the reputation that like season nine ruined
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Speaker 2: the whole thing because because so many failed relationships that
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Speaker 2: came from it and that's why we're not getting another paradise.
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Speaker 3: It doesn't bother me. I mean, I I don't know.
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Speaker 3: I just I did it.
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Speaker 4: I had fun, found somebody, you know, gave it a shot,
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Speaker 4: and I'm happy about like my experience.
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Speaker 3: You know, I wouldn't change it for anything.
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Speaker 4: But as far as the rest of the season goes
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Speaker 4: and how people view it, I mean, I don't really care.
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Speaker 3: It doesn't bother me.
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Speaker 5: The interesting thing, I think from your perspective would be
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Speaker 5: why did so many relationships look like they could work
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Speaker 5: coming off the show and ended up not working, you know,
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Speaker 5: a very in a very short time from the show.
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Speaker 3: I don't really know.
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Speaker 4: It's kind of hard for me to talk about that
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Speaker 4: because I'm not really too focused on the other relationships.
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Speaker 4: You know, Obviously, me and Kat we ended up getting engaged,
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Speaker 4: and I know our story, and I don't really want
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Speaker 4: to talk about the other couple's stories because you know,
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Speaker 4: that's I feel like that's kind of for them to
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Speaker 4: touch on. But you know, as far as me and
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Speaker 4: Kat go, like, you know, I gave it my all
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Speaker 4: and we tried it and it didn't work out, but
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Speaker 4: that's okay.
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Speaker 2: And uh, I mean, yeah, you and Kat seems like
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Speaker 2: an odd couple right off the bat. You seem like
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Speaker 2: a very salt of the earth, grounded type of guy,
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Speaker 2: sweet southern and she and I think Kat is hilarious
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Speaker 2: and I like loved her personality for TV and I
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Speaker 2: think she has a good heart, stunning, but like, yeah,
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Speaker 2: you guys are definitely an odd couple. And how did
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Speaker 2: that work out in your favor, and how did it
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Speaker 2: ultimately not?
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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, like we couldn't be any more different.
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Speaker 4: You know, I knew that, she knew that. Everybody else
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Speaker 4: at the beach, you know, everybody said like we were
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Speaker 4: probably like the last couple.
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Speaker 3: They ever would have imagined getting together.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, but like you said, like, I don't know, it
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Speaker 4: just worked, like because she's you know, she's really vocal.
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Speaker 4: She's like loud, and she's always all over the place.
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Speaker 4: And then like I'm a little more grounded, So like,
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Speaker 4: I don't know, it just it worked like we couldn't
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Speaker 4: be any more different, but at the same time it fit,
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Speaker 4: you know.
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Speaker 2: So yeah, it's like one of those situations where it's
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Speaker 2: opposite a tract and that's a good thing for the
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Speaker 2: shirt short term, but for the long term it often
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Speaker 2: doesn't work out.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like you know that in meme.
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Speaker 4: I don't know if it's like a meme, but like
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Speaker 4: it's like if I order French fries at a restaurant
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Speaker 4: and they give me tater tots, like you need to
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Speaker 4: find a girl that's gonna tell the server like he
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Speaker 4: didn't order, you know, tater tots. So it's like, I'm
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Speaker 4: not gonna complain. You know, I'll eat the tater tots.
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Speaker 4: I don't care. But like, you know, Kat's a kind
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Speaker 4: of girl like she's gonna speak up. She's gonna be like, no,
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Speaker 4: he didn't order that, he ordered for us.
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Speaker 2: That's hilarious. Both Jared and I are not going to
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Speaker 2: complain about the tator tosts though we're right there.
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Speaker 3: I'll eat them. It's not the end of the world.
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Speaker 5: But you know, stand up for your man, Ashley.
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Speaker 2: Wait then then what what you and Jess? Who's going
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Speaker 2: to tell the waiter that you guys.
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Speaker 5: Didn't know about? Not a single soul. But it's an
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Speaker 5: interesting concept, John Henry, because you know, I'm from Indiana
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Speaker 5: originally and from an incredible agriculture town, and we have
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Speaker 5: some very like prominent, really successful farmers. And these farmers
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Speaker 5: are oftentimes from farming families, you know, third four generation farmers,
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Speaker 5: and their life is hard, right, wake up at five am,
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Speaker 5: you close the barn door at eight pm. But you're
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Speaker 5: you're very wealthy. Typically these farmers are very wealthy. And
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Speaker 5: we had this thing in town wet It kind of
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Speaker 5: called it farming princesses, where you'd have the farmers who
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Speaker 5: are as simple as simple can be. They could ask
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Speaker 5: for nothing ever, and they're just good doing what they're doing.
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Speaker 5: But they'd have their wives who would kind of push
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Speaker 5: them and stretch them to experience the world in a
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Speaker 5: different way. Right, maybe, Hey, I want to go to
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Speaker 5: a fancier dinner tonight. So can you throw on your
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Speaker 5: nice jeans and your nice shirt and your boots and
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Speaker 5: take me to a fancy dinner. Is that kind of
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Speaker 5: what you're talking about where it felt like kat might
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Speaker 5: just be that enough of a difference for you to
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Speaker 5: push you into a realm that you would never go
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Speaker 5: into on your own.
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Speaker 1: Uh.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know, that's one of the big things
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Speaker 4: that really call my attention from the beginning with her,
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Speaker 4: is like, you know, I want somebody different than me.
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Speaker 4: I don't want someone exactly like me with the same hobbies.
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Speaker 3: You know.
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Speaker 4: I like having my hobbies and doing my own thing,
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Speaker 4: and she has her hobbies and does her own thing,
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Speaker 4: and I don't know like that. That's that's always kind
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Speaker 4: of what I liked and like knowing Kad is totally
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Speaker 4: different than me, Like she can show me a lot
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Speaker 4: and at the same time, you know, I can show
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Speaker 4: her a lot. So I like change, I like doing
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Speaker 4: different things, So like, yeah, I mean that I really
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Speaker 4: liked the idea of that with her. You know, that
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Speaker 4: was one of the things that I first noticed and
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Speaker 4: was like, okay, like, you know, it's kind of what
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Speaker 4: I'm looking for.
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Speaker 5: I think my follow up to that would be what
7:17
Speaker 5: do you look? I mean, I don't want to skip
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Speaker 5: too far ahead here, but what are you looking for now?
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Speaker 5: Now that you've experienced a cat in your life and
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Speaker 5: seeing kind of that difference, are you now as you
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Speaker 5: focus on what you're into now in the future, is
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Speaker 5: it back to kind of comfort and somebody that will
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Speaker 5: just like ride along with you and you guys can
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Speaker 5: do what you do or is it still that kind
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Speaker 5: of more cat style that will push you outside of it?
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Speaker 3: Uh? Both.
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Speaker 4: I still I still like the idea of having, you know,
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Speaker 4: somebody that's totally different than me. But it kind of
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Speaker 4: made me realize too. It's like like the like down
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Speaker 4: to the core, like you have to be similar, you
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Speaker 4: have to you know, there's a lot of things that
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Speaker 4: you have to be similar on. But then like all
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Speaker 4: the things that don't matter, like that's what I want
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Speaker 4: to be different, But like when it comes to all
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Speaker 4: the deep stuff, you know that has to be on track.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, that makes sense.
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Speaker 2: Okay, So when you propose, it was kind of hilarious
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Speaker 2: because you said, my head is telling me not to
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Speaker 2: do this, but my heart is telling me to go
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Speaker 2: for it. To your future self proposing one other day,
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Speaker 2: do you want both your heart and your head to
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Speaker 2: be at the same place.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean obviously.
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Speaker 4: But Paradise is such a a not like a normal
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Speaker 4: way of getting engaged, Like you know, it's such a
8:47
Speaker 4: short period of time, and going on the show, like
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Speaker 4: I knew that, Like I knew it was going to
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Speaker 4: be a lot different than like every day dating. And
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Speaker 4: like in everyday dating, you know, I think two three
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Speaker 4: years then I'll be, you know ready.
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Speaker 3: But going to.
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Speaker 4: Paradise, it's like I know how it works, you know,
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Speaker 4: I know the end goal, and like in order to
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Speaker 4: go on the show, I guess you have to be
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Speaker 4: open to it.
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Speaker 3: So I was, you know, in my head.
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Speaker 4: Like we got along really well, and you know, things
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Speaker 4: couldn't have been any better at Paradise, So you know,
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Speaker 4: it's getting down to the end and I have to
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Speaker 4: make up a decision, and I was all in but
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Speaker 4: like it was such a short period of time, So
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Speaker 4: it's like I was thinking back on like just normal
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Speaker 4: everyday dating, Like, yeah, it's absolutely insane to get engaged
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Speaker 4: after just a couple of weeks. But knowing that that,
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Speaker 4: you know, that's what I signed up for, I had
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Speaker 4: to be open to it. And uh, you know, I
9:47
Speaker 4: was leaving the beach and I was thinking myself, well,
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Speaker 4: I mean, it couldn't go any better with Kat, so
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Speaker 4: it was like, let's let's just do it, you know,
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Speaker 4: let's give it a shot.
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Speaker 5: You just don't seem like the type of guy to me.
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Speaker 5: Out of anybody maybe I've ever seen from the show
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Speaker 5: Chris Souls would be a close second, but you don't
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Speaker 5: seem like a guy that would ever have any interest
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Speaker 5: in doing this thing.
10:11
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't. You're absolutely right.
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Speaker 5: So two questions here that you have to answer, probably
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Speaker 5: in one response, okay, would be why did you do it?
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Speaker 5: And then how did you get yourself? Because you just
10:24
Speaker 5: said that you were going onto the beach with the
10:27
Speaker 5: right intention, like what everybody else there says they're doing.
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Speaker 5: I believe that you went with the right intention because
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Speaker 5: I don't believe you to be a man trying to
10:36
Speaker 5: make up something that's not true, So why did you go?
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Speaker 5: And then how in the world did you get your
10:43
Speaker 5: mind in the right place to even do it without
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Speaker 5: wanting to do it at all?
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Speaker 4: So I guess I have to kind of go back
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Speaker 4: to the Bachelorette because that's where the whole decision came
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Speaker 4: to do it all.
10:59
Speaker 3: And I didn't apply.
11:01
Speaker 4: You know, I was floating out on a barge out
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Speaker 4: in the middle of the ocean and I got a
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Speaker 4: phone call, and you know, it was one of the
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Speaker 4: casting producers and she basically told me, like I got
11:13
Speaker 4: nominated online and they were just like curious if I was,
11:17
Speaker 4: you know, still single, and if i'd be interested. And
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Speaker 4: at first I told him no, I was like, absolutely not,
11:22
Speaker 4: Like do you know, I don't really know for sure.
11:25
Speaker 4: I think it was my buddy's ext girlfriend at the time. Wow,
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Speaker 4: So it was a long it was a long time ago. Yeah,
11:31
Speaker 4: it was a long time ago. And like I told
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Speaker 4: him no, I was like, because I know, like about
11:37
Speaker 4: the show. I know, you got doctors and lawyers and
11:40
Speaker 4: personal trainers and then I work construction, so like, I
11:44
Speaker 4: have no business being on that show. So at first,
11:46
Speaker 4: when she first started talking to me. I told him no.
11:49
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm not going to do this. But
11:51
Speaker 4: she was like, you know, this isn't a guaranteed that
11:53
Speaker 4: you're going to be on. She was like, just think
11:55
Speaker 4: about it. She was like, go through the process, and
11:57
Speaker 4: you know, if they end up picking you, then you
11:59
Speaker 4: can make up your mind. And I was like, okay, whatever,
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Speaker 4: you know, I'll go through it and.
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Speaker 3: See what happens. And then I made it to the end.
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Speaker 4: You know, they told me that they wanted me to
12:09
Speaker 4: be on it, and I was like, well, I was like,
12:12
Speaker 4: now I got to do it, you know.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I don't know, I decided.
12:17
Speaker 4: To do it, and then I kind of I knew
12:19
Speaker 4: about how it works and everything, so then I had
12:21
Speaker 4: to change my mindset to be like, okay, so like
12:24
Speaker 4: this isn't like typical dating.
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Speaker 3: I have to be open to how this is all going.
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Speaker 4: To work and you know the situation, and so I
12:31
Speaker 4: just decided to do it. But you know, I'm the
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Speaker 4: kind of guy like, if I'm going to do something,
12:34
Speaker 4: I'm going to give it my all. I'm not just
12:36
Speaker 4: going to half ask it. I'm just you know, I'm
12:38
Speaker 4: going to give it everything I got and see what happens.
12:52
Speaker 2: Okay, So I want to go to the moment where
12:55
Speaker 2: you and Kat cameras stop rolling. You're at the hotel
13:00
Speaker 2: in Mexico. You probably get a few days just to
13:02
Speaker 2: rocks the two of you. What was your vibe, because
13:06
Speaker 2: it just like everything can change in those days, you
13:08
Speaker 2: like really know, you're like, oh, is this gonna last
13:11
Speaker 2: or not. I think in those.
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Speaker 4: Days, I don't think it was anything like too crazy,
13:17
Speaker 4: because like me and Kat, we did have a lot
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Speaker 4: of conversations, like without cameras, and you know, I think
13:25
Speaker 4: you get you get a really good idea on what
13:28
Speaker 4: someone's all about when the cameras are not around. So
13:31
Speaker 4: I've already had, you know, several moments with Kat where
13:33
Speaker 4: I got to see, you know, who she really is,
13:36
Speaker 4: like without all the cameras. So when we're in Mexico
13:39
Speaker 4: in the hotel afterwards, you know, I already already already knew,
13:44
Speaker 4: and I was just excited. I was so excited that
13:46
Speaker 4: the whole thing was over, and like I was just
13:48
Speaker 4: looking forward, like you know, we're all we're super excited
13:52
Speaker 4: about the relationship. We were still one hundred percent in
13:55
Speaker 4: and you know, we started making plans and when we're
13:57
Speaker 4: going to start seeing each other. So I was really excited,
14:00
Speaker 4: like it was. It didn't really catch me by just
14:04
Speaker 4: like surprise. I didn't like see a side of Cat
14:06
Speaker 4: then that you know, I didn't see before. So I
14:10
Speaker 4: was I was just very comfortable, and I was I
14:12
Speaker 4: was ready to, uh, you know, see where things were
14:14
Speaker 4: gonna go.
14:15
Speaker 5: And then things went sideways, right.
14:20
Speaker 3: I wouldn't, I don't.
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Speaker 4: I mean they they went a little sideways, but nothing
14:25
Speaker 4: too drastic, Like we didn't have a crazy.
14:29
Speaker 3: Breakup story like you know we have. We had a
14:32
Speaker 3: very healthy relationship for months after filming, and then I
14:38
Speaker 3: don't know, things didn't go sideways. It's just I started to.
14:43
Speaker 4: See our differences and you know, we decided to end up,
14:49
Speaker 4: you know, ultimately just going our different different ways. But
14:52
Speaker 4: looking back on the relationship, like we had a beautiful
14:54
Speaker 4: relationship for months. We did a lot of cool things together,
14:58
Speaker 4: and like I have a lot of good memory, he said,
15:00
Speaker 4: I'm truly thankful for so like me and Kat, we're
15:03
Speaker 4: still cool. We can still talk and you know, there's
15:05
Speaker 4: no hard feelings. So you know, I don't look at
15:08
Speaker 4: it as like a fail because I had some great
15:11
Speaker 4: times with her.
15:12
Speaker 2: So you'd say it was mutual.
15:13
Speaker 3: It's mutual. It's mutual.
15:15
Speaker 2: Now I'd say, oh, it's mutual. Now elaborate please.
15:20
Speaker 3: All right. Okay, so if you guys want to go
15:23
Speaker 3: into detail, I guess I can go and do. This
15:26
Speaker 3: is a long story. You guys got time.
15:29
Speaker 5: Yes, I have nothing else going on.
15:32
Speaker 3: All right, Where do I start? I guess I have
15:35
Speaker 3: to start this story ten years ago?
15:38
Speaker 5: Oh wow?
15:39
Speaker 3: Okay.
15:39
Speaker 4: So I got into commercial diving, well about eight years
15:46
Speaker 4: ago now, and I knew what I was signing up for.
15:49
Speaker 4: I knew it was going to be a lot of traveling.
15:52
Speaker 4: It was going to be a lot of long days,
15:54
Speaker 4: long nights every day, you know, seven days a week.
15:58
Speaker 4: And I knew it wasn't going to be a very
16:01
Speaker 4: relationship friendly career. So when I first got into it,
16:06
Speaker 4: I told myself, I'll do it for ten years, and
16:08
Speaker 4: then after ten years, I'm going to get out and
16:10
Speaker 4: I'll find, you know, a little more stable career where
16:13
Speaker 4: I can stay local and actually like start a relationship.
16:18
Speaker 4: So anyways, you know, I've been doing my thing, and
16:21
Speaker 4: then I get the call for the show and I
16:25
Speaker 4: was like eight years in, and I knew I only
16:28
Speaker 4: had a couple more years and then I was going
16:30
Speaker 4: to fully get out of diving and you know, try
16:33
Speaker 4: to start a relationship and everything.
16:35
Speaker 3: But the show like didn't. I didn't plan on the show.
16:38
Speaker 4: It just kind of fell in my lap, right, So
16:40
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, you know, if it, if I
16:43
Speaker 4: end up meeting somebody, you know, I did eight years.
16:45
Speaker 4: I didn't do the full ten like I said I
16:47
Speaker 4: was going to do, which is you know, I'm good
16:48
Speaker 4: with that. So me and Kat, you know, we meet
16:52
Speaker 4: at Paradise and we talked about it, and like I
16:55
Speaker 4: told her, you know, like as of right now, like
16:57
Speaker 4: my career.
16:58
Speaker 3: Is not relationship friendly.
17:00
Speaker 4: She knew that, but I was like, it's you know,
17:03
Speaker 4: my plan is to get out of it anyways, and
17:06
Speaker 4: you know, do something where it's it's easier, you know
17:09
Speaker 4: for that.
17:10
Speaker 2: Can I stop you right there? Can you tell us
17:11
Speaker 2: about your day to day? Like I know, so you're
17:13
Speaker 2: a commercial diving welders, so basically you're like down there
17:17
Speaker 2: making bridges and stuff, welding underwater, which is like the
17:21
Speaker 2: most mind boggling thing. I Bridge creation and all that
17:25
Speaker 2: is like so cool, and I don't know how you
17:28
Speaker 2: guys do it. But is that what you do.
17:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean my job title technically is just a
17:35
Speaker 4: commercial diver, so like underwater welding, that's just part of
17:39
Speaker 4: the job, you know, I'm not specifically just like welding
17:42
Speaker 4: underwater all day every day. So it just depends on
17:46
Speaker 4: the job. I could be on a bunch of different things.
17:48
Speaker 4: It could be a ship that sank that we're bringing
17:50
Speaker 4: back up, or like you said, building bridges.
17:53
Speaker 3: Or I don't know. We've done all kinds of crazy things.
17:56
Speaker 3: But okay, that's that's what I love about it.
17:59
Speaker 2: You like living on boats and in hotels and stuff
18:02
Speaker 2: wherever the job like, wherever they need you pretty much.
18:07
Speaker 4: I haven't bounced around a ton, but you know, I've
18:11
Speaker 4: worked in Virginia Beach and then I went and you know,
18:13
Speaker 4: I was in Charleston. I've done some stuff up in
18:16
Speaker 4: New York, and then I went and worked in Germany
18:18
Speaker 4: for a year, and then I worked in Austria for
18:21
Speaker 4: a little bit, and then now I'm back in Virginia Beach.
18:25
Speaker 4: But this is coming to an end. I have, you know,
18:28
Speaker 4: something lined up. But uh so, yeah, So, I mean
18:32
Speaker 4: I've kind of bounced around whatever jobs, you know, if
18:35
Speaker 4: they have something really cool going on, and I don't know,
18:38
Speaker 4: let's say Sweden, you know, I'll up and go to
18:40
Speaker 4: Sweden for a while and do that job and then
18:42
Speaker 4: go to the next one. So it's kind of all
18:45
Speaker 4: over the place. But like I knew that's what I
18:46
Speaker 4: signed up for when I got into this career. Okay,
18:50
Speaker 4: So anyways, like with Kat, you know, we start to
18:55
Speaker 4: have a relationship and she knows my schedule, she knows, like,
18:59
Speaker 4: you know, what I was, what I was doing, what
19:02
Speaker 4: she kind of got involved with. And then I started
19:07
Speaker 4: it's hard for me to take time off. It really
19:09
Speaker 4: is hard for me to take time off. And we
19:12
Speaker 4: started making all these plans, like she first came up
19:14
Speaker 4: to Virginia and we had a nice little weekend here,
19:17
Speaker 4: and then I went to Tampa and seeing her, and
19:20
Speaker 4: then she ended up moving to Asheville, North Carolina.
19:25
Speaker 3: Why she took a travel nurse gig.
19:28
Speaker 4: So her plans were to go to San Diego, but
19:32
Speaker 4: she wasn't able to go as soon as she was
19:36
Speaker 4: hoping to, so she had a several weeks like kind
19:40
Speaker 4: of just to wait around to figure out what's going
19:42
Speaker 4: on with San Diego. So she decided to take a
19:45
Speaker 4: travel nurse gig in Ashville, which was closer to me,
19:48
Speaker 4: so that we could, you know, be closer to each other.
19:51
Speaker 4: And so she moved to Ashville, and then I went
19:54
Speaker 4: to Asheville a couple couple times in seeing her, and
19:57
Speaker 4: then you know, things were going really well.
20:01
Speaker 3: But then you know.
20:02
Speaker 4: I'm I'm now so I'm I have this job and
20:05
Speaker 4: then I get in there this relationship, and then now
20:08
Speaker 4: it's like, okay, well now I have to start figuring
20:10
Speaker 4: out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to
20:12
Speaker 4: make this transition to a career that is going to
20:15
Speaker 4: be a lot easier for me, like in her to
20:17
Speaker 4: work with. And he kind of called me by surprise because,
20:21
Speaker 4: like I said, I originally, you know, I had two
20:24
Speaker 4: more years and then I was going to make that happen.
20:26
Speaker 4: But now you know, started this with her and got engaged.
20:29
Speaker 4: It was like, okay, so now I need to start
20:31
Speaker 4: doing this now, and uh it just called me by surprise.
20:35
Speaker 4: So now I'm starting to stress out about how I'm
20:40
Speaker 4: going to.
20:40
Speaker 3: Make this move. I know she wants to go to
20:41
Speaker 3: San Diego, so.
20:42
Speaker 4: Now I'm I'm kind of looking at jobs out in
20:45
Speaker 4: San Diego, Like do I want to keep diving just
20:48
Speaker 4: because it's what I do, and I could move there
20:51
Speaker 4: and die for a little bit at least get me
20:53
Speaker 4: over there, and then once I'm there, I can figure
20:55
Speaker 4: something out. And uh so, I don't know, I really
20:59
Speaker 4: started to get stressed out on how I'm going to
21:02
Speaker 4: make this work on my end.
21:04
Speaker 3: And I think once.
21:06
Speaker 4: I really started to get stressed out, I don't know
21:11
Speaker 4: how do I say this? So I started to have
21:19
Speaker 4: my doubts right, and I started to think about like
21:24
Speaker 4: am I fully ready to drop diving? And it started
21:29
Speaker 4: to worry me because you know, my end goal was
21:33
Speaker 4: to like, you know, fall in love, find a wife,
21:37
Speaker 4: and I thought this whole process would be a lot easier,
21:41
Speaker 4: but it wasn't, and it was really stressful.
21:44
Speaker 3: And then it just started to make me think, like
21:47
Speaker 3: why am I so stressed? Why is this move and
21:50
Speaker 3: transition so hard for me? Like this should be easy, you.
21:53
Speaker 4: Know, like I'm in love, I'm with someone that I
21:56
Speaker 4: really like. This should be no problem for me to
21:59
Speaker 4: switch career years and find something else. But that wasn't
22:02
Speaker 4: the case. So then I started thinking to myself, like,
22:06
Speaker 4: is this is this really it?
22:07
Speaker 3: Like? Is this is this really what?
22:09
Speaker 4: I want, and I guess once I started kind of
22:13
Speaker 4: thinking that, it just kind of started spiraling for me
22:17
Speaker 4: and everything else. Everything just started to get more stressful.
22:21
Speaker 4: And then I started to see our differences a lot
22:25
Speaker 4: more so things just really got hard for me. And
22:29
Speaker 4: then at the same time, like you know, at this point,
22:33
Speaker 4: the show's airing, and you know, Kat is just getting
22:37
Speaker 4: so much hate and it was really hard for her too,
22:42
Speaker 4: just dealing dealing with that. So now you have this
22:46
Speaker 4: like she's all she's really stressed out, and she's just
22:50
Speaker 4: everyone's coming at her on a day to day basis.
22:52
Speaker 4: And then I'm stressed out trying to make my move,
22:56
Speaker 4: you know, trying to make this work, figuring out careers,
22:59
Speaker 4: and then I'm getting stressed and now I'm having doubts,
23:02
Speaker 4: so I'm trying to It's just it got to a
23:05
Speaker 4: point where it was just extremely hard for the.
23:07
Speaker 3: Both of us.
23:08
Speaker 4: And then basically I just I, you know, I called
23:12
Speaker 4: it quits. I said, I just this doesn't feel right.
23:16
Speaker 4: I think this should be a lot easier than what
23:18
Speaker 4: it is, and it just it wasn't the case. So
23:20
Speaker 4: then I was like, well, why isn't the case, Like,
23:22
Speaker 4: what's what's wrong, and then I just started thinking to myself,
23:26
Speaker 4: like maybe this just isn't for me. And then once
23:28
Speaker 4: I got that in my head, you know, it just
23:30
Speaker 4: kind of spiraled from there.
23:32
Speaker 5: Was she shocked.
23:33
Speaker 3: She was shocked.
23:34
Speaker 4: I think that uh, you know, it wasn't wasn't really
23:39
Speaker 4: fair to her because at the time, you know, I
23:44
Speaker 4: was her you know, I was her fiance. You know,
23:47
Speaker 4: I'm supposed to be her rock. I'm supposed to be
23:50
Speaker 4: there for her. And I think the hardest thing for
23:53
Speaker 4: her was like, you know, so I don't I don't know,
23:57
Speaker 4: but like I had, you know, a thing about like depression,
24:00
Speaker 4: and I made a post about it and I had
24:01
Speaker 4: a walk for depression, and you know, this is kind
24:05
Speaker 4: of new to me. Well at first started you know,
24:07
Speaker 4: I started dealing with it like seven eight years ago,
24:10
Speaker 4: but this was my first relationship that I was in
24:14
Speaker 4: where I dealt with depression. So I'm getting stressed out
24:19
Speaker 4: about everything. And then you know, I definitely got in
24:22
Speaker 4: like a loaf from it. And then now Kat, you know,
24:25
Speaker 4: she's just she she really needed that support for me.
24:30
Speaker 4: But now I got all this all this anxiety and
24:33
Speaker 4: I'm dealing with depression and then I shut down, So
24:37
Speaker 4: I definitely wasn't there for her like I should have been.
24:42
Speaker 4: So I think that was the hardest thing for her,
24:46
Speaker 4: was like you know the fact that like I'm supposed
24:48
Speaker 4: to be her guy, I'm supposed to be there for her,
24:50
Speaker 4: and I was struggling with that because of all the
24:52
Speaker 4: issues that I was dealing with myself. So that was
24:56
Speaker 4: that was the hardest thing for her, I think for sure.
25:00
Speaker 2: And it was all happening while the show was airing,
25:03
Speaker 2: and then you guys basically broke up like the last
25:05
Speaker 2: week that it was airing.
25:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, we actually broke up right before the finale.
25:12
Speaker 5: Actually, I'm curious, though, would you say, I mean you
25:15
Speaker 5: were engaged from the show? Is Kat to date the
25:21
Speaker 5: greatest love that you've had?
25:23
Speaker 4: Kat is amazing? You know, she really is something special,
25:30
Speaker 4: Like she's not my longest relationship, but but cat Cat's
25:37
Speaker 4: Cat's a catch. Like you know, I'll tell you, Like,
25:40
Speaker 4: she she definitely did her part, you know, because like.
25:45
Speaker 3: Distance is hard, distance is hard for everybody. But she did.
25:49
Speaker 4: You know, she when she loves you know, she gives
25:52
Speaker 4: it her all. And uh, she did everything that she
25:55
Speaker 4: needed to do and then some in order to try
25:58
Speaker 4: to make our relationship work. And uh, you know even
26:03
Speaker 4: after even after we ended up breaking up, you know
26:06
Speaker 4: it was it was hard at first for sure, but
26:08
Speaker 4: we definitely kept in touch and like, you know, dealing
26:11
Speaker 4: with all my depression stuff. Like she's reached out several times,
26:14
Speaker 4: like she's always checking in. Uh, she's sent me a
26:17
Speaker 4: lot of podcasts and stuff to listen to and like
26:19
Speaker 4: some books and stuff to read just to help, and
26:22
Speaker 4: like she's been nothing but supportive, you know, after.
26:25
Speaker 3: The breakup, and so like she's Cat's Cat's a good one.
26:31
Speaker 4: You know, it didn't work out with us, but someone's
26:35
Speaker 4: definitely going to be very lucky.
26:37
Speaker 3: To have her.
26:37
Speaker 2: Would you say that you were in love with her?
26:39
Speaker 3: Or maybe absolutely? Yeah, yeah I would, I would.
26:54
Speaker 5: Thanks for sharing all that, I mean, it makes things
26:56
Speaker 5: make more sense too. And you are taking a lot
26:59
Speaker 5: of the ownership and in this relationship and why it
27:03
Speaker 5: ended the way it did and I and all and
27:06
Speaker 5: it all makes sense. Like none of this is nobody's
27:08
Speaker 5: hearing any of this and be like what are you
27:10
Speaker 5: talking about? Longest relationships are easy and you know mental
27:13
Speaker 5: health struggles, Yeah, you just move on. No, those are
27:15
Speaker 5: real things that were going on and The hope here
27:20
Speaker 5: is that you know your future is bright, and we
27:22
Speaker 5: know cats will be bright, and that things you know,
27:25
Speaker 5: new loves will come into your life. But today your
27:29
Speaker 5: relationship the only It's funny, one of the only markets
27:34
Speaker 5: we have people are still getting along is social media.
27:36
Speaker 5: And you still follow Cat on social media, but we
27:38
Speaker 5: noticed that Cat doesn't follow you any longer, which made
27:42
Speaker 5: us think that there was, you know, a more of
27:45
Speaker 5: a divide here than what we understood it to be.
27:48
Speaker 5: Can you speak to that a little bit?
27:51
Speaker 4: Yeah, So, like I said, we kept in touch for
27:55
Speaker 4: a while even after the breakup, and she moved to
27:59
Speaker 4: Sandy because that was her dream, that's what she wanted
28:02
Speaker 4: to do. So she made that happen. And you know,
28:07
Speaker 4: she would always call me and show me all the
28:09
Speaker 4: sunsets and stuff, and she was talking about her new
28:12
Speaker 4: place and how excited she was and how much she
28:14
Speaker 4: was loving it. And then you know, at the end
28:18
Speaker 4: of the day, I'm the one who cut it off
28:20
Speaker 4: with her, and we stayed civil, we stayed friends, and
28:25
Speaker 4: I think it was definitely it was hard for her
28:28
Speaker 4: because it's not what she wanted. She was still fully invested.
28:31
Speaker 4: She wanted to make you know, make it last and
28:33
Speaker 4: do everything that she could and try.
28:35
Speaker 3: To make it work.
28:36
Speaker 4: But you know, I just started to see our differences
28:39
Speaker 4: and I was just really struggling with you know, making
28:43
Speaker 4: it work on my end. So when I cut it off,
28:47
Speaker 4: I mean, she's doing great. She's living her life in
28:51
Speaker 4: San Diego. She's a nurse practitioner now, she's got a
28:53
Speaker 4: really good job. She's doing her own thing, having a blast,
28:57
Speaker 4: and like I'm you know, I'm still working on my
28:59
Speaker 4: stuff here. I got a lot to you know, to
29:00
Speaker 4: figure out on my end. But it's just it became
29:05
Speaker 4: clear to me that I think this was the right decision.
29:10
Speaker 4: But when it comes to, you know, us talking, we
29:14
Speaker 4: don't really talk much anymore. Now we're civil. If she
29:18
Speaker 4: called me, I'd be there in a heartbeat if she
29:20
Speaker 4: you know, if I needed her, I know she'd answer
29:22
Speaker 4: the phone and she'd do anything she couldn't help. But
29:26
Speaker 4: from like a relationship standpoint, I think, you know, after
29:29
Speaker 4: a little while, she told me, she was like, I
29:32
Speaker 4: don't think we should talk anymore because it's just it's difficult,
29:36
Speaker 4: and I think she did it just to kind of
29:38
Speaker 4: focus on herself and try to move on. She said,
29:41
Speaker 4: just keeping in touch and always talking all the time.
29:43
Speaker 4: It just wasn't helping her. So she made the decision
29:48
Speaker 4: we just weren't gonna you know, really talk and keep
29:51
Speaker 4: in touch like we're civil we're friends, but also it
29:55
Speaker 4: was time for us just to totally separate. Yeah, so
29:59
Speaker 4: I she unfollowed me, but you know, it doesn't bother me.
30:03
Speaker 4: But I mean I still follow her because I still, like,
30:06
Speaker 4: you know, seeing what she's doing and everything that, you know, all.
30:09
Speaker 3: Her goals that she always talked about. It's nice. It's
30:12
Speaker 3: nice for me to see you know, her getting everything
30:15
Speaker 3: done that she wanted to get done. So that's why
30:16
Speaker 3: I still follow her, just because I'm I'm proud of her.
30:20
Speaker 2: That's sweet. How's your mental health now doing good?
30:26
Speaker 4: I'm getting definitely getting a lot better. But you know,
30:29
Speaker 4: just like I said, being in a relationship while dealing
30:34
Speaker 4: with it, this was my first time, so it definitely
30:36
Speaker 4: opened my eyes to a lot of things that I.
30:40
Speaker 3: Didn't really know before that.
30:41
Speaker 4: It took me getting in a relationship to realize, like
30:45
Speaker 4: I got some things that I got to get figured out.
30:47
Speaker 4: But after getting rid of, you know, getting out of
30:50
Speaker 4: that relationship, and like I'm done trying to figure out,
30:53
Speaker 4: you know, trying to make everything happen and move in
30:56
Speaker 4: such a short period of time. You know, I'm just
30:58
Speaker 4: back on a normal I'm going to make it happen
31:01
Speaker 4: when it's meant to you know, meant to be, and
31:04
Speaker 4: it's just way less weight off my shoulders. I just,
31:07
Speaker 4: you know, I can. I can just make this transition
31:10
Speaker 4: like I originally thought, you know, without it being so stressful.
31:15
Speaker 5: Are you going to continue to dive then?
31:19
Speaker 4: I mean for now, because yeah, now I'm back to
31:21
Speaker 4: being single, and you know, I I definitely I don't
31:25
Speaker 4: see myself getting into another relationship for a little while.
31:28
Speaker 4: Like I said, I've got some things that you've got
31:30
Speaker 4: to get figured out.
31:31
Speaker 3: But I'm getting there. You know, I'm definitely getting better.
31:35
Speaker 4: But you know, I'm just gonna get myself right because
31:39
Speaker 4: I know I hurt Cat, and you know that's the
31:42
Speaker 4: last thing I want to do is.
31:44
Speaker 3: Hurt somebody else.
31:45
Speaker 4: So before I get into another relationship, I have to
31:48
Speaker 4: make sure that you know I'm mentally ready for it.
31:53
Speaker 1: Yeah.
31:53
Speaker 5: Well, since so you haven't been out there dating, you're
31:56
Speaker 5: kind of focused on yourself.
31:57
Speaker 3: Not really, No, I just I took new job.
32:02
Speaker 4: I can't really speak on it right now, but I
32:06
Speaker 4: am making a move.
32:08
Speaker 3: I'm really excited. It's gonna be super good for me.
32:11
Speaker 4: It's gonna be a super fun job that I'm going
32:13
Speaker 4: to and uh yeah, so I'm just gonna I'm gonna
32:17
Speaker 4: go and then I'm gonna enjoy this for my last
32:19
Speaker 4: couple of years and then you know, I'll be ready
32:23
Speaker 4: to figure out my next move after that. But for now,
32:27
Speaker 4: this was something that I couldn't pass up and I'm
32:29
Speaker 4: super excited about it.
32:30
Speaker 5: We do as a favor and at least share on
32:32
Speaker 5: social media what this new job is. In a week,
32:34
Speaker 5: then when you can't talk about it, so everybody can.
32:37
Speaker 3: I will.
32:37
Speaker 4: It's it's still diving, okay. I'm just building something really
32:41
Speaker 4: cool and a really cool location.
32:45
Speaker 5: Oh, super fun. Good for you, man, that's awesome. Now,
32:49
Speaker 5: speaking of diving, total change is subject this week on
32:53
Speaker 5: National News, the largest tagged great white was found on
33:00
Speaker 5: the shelf of Jupiter, Florida. There was a free diver
33:04
Speaker 5: and people are down there filming the free diver, and
33:07
Speaker 5: out from the depths of the ocean came the biggest
33:09
Speaker 5: great white I've ever seen in my life. Did you
33:12
Speaker 5: see this? Picture yet No, I actually have not. Okay,
33:16
Speaker 5: you got to look at it. And then the second
33:18
Speaker 5: question is have you had anything similar happen to you?
33:20
Speaker 5: Have you had any massive sharks come up while you've
33:23
Speaker 5: been diving.
33:27
Speaker 4: I was actually cutting a big steel pipe underwater, and
33:33
Speaker 4: it's a pretty wild concept of how we cut steel
33:37
Speaker 4: underwater because we actually cut it with like electricity and fire,
33:41
Speaker 4: but underwater. Yeah, so it's a pretty wild you know,
33:45
Speaker 4: you say, like cutting stuff with fire underwater, Like people think,
33:47
Speaker 4: like how does that even work?
33:48
Speaker 3: But it's like it does because of electricity. But so anyways,
33:52
Speaker 3: I'm down there and uh.
33:54
Speaker 4: It's pitch black, it's muddy, I can't see anything, and
33:58
Speaker 4: I'm just cutting this pipe and then and all of
34:00
Speaker 4: a sudden, something just smokes me from my back and
34:04
Speaker 4: it just throws me like eight feet and h It
34:09
Speaker 4: was in the area where there's you know, there's a
34:11
Speaker 4: lot of shark all the time, and you know, just
34:13
Speaker 4: with how how it hit me, how hard it hit me,
34:17
Speaker 4: and like I could tell like this thing's huge, whatever
34:19
Speaker 4: it is, it is way bigger than me.
34:21
Speaker 3: But I you know, I'm.
34:23
Speaker 4: Cutting with fire, so like this thing hits me and
34:26
Speaker 4: I just turn around. I get up and I can't
34:28
Speaker 4: see anything, but I point this thing at him and
34:30
Speaker 4: I just start shooting fireworks at him. And he didn't
34:33
Speaker 4: come back, but you know, it was it was there,
34:36
Speaker 4: but uh, after a little while, it just it didn't
34:39
Speaker 4: come back.
34:40
Speaker 3: So I just had to go back to work.
34:41
Speaker 2: How many feet deep do you go?
34:43
Speaker 3: Furthest The deepest I've been is one hundred and seventy
34:47
Speaker 3: five feet rap, which actually, you know, in the diving
34:51
Speaker 3: world is actually not even that bad at all.
34:54
Speaker 5: Still in the in the recreational scuba diving world, that's
34:57
Speaker 5: a lot.
35:01
Speaker 2: I can only imagine the pressure on your body hole
35:04
Speaker 2: and molly.
35:05
Speaker 3: But it's fun. I mean, I love it.
35:07
Speaker 4: It's every day is a thrill. Every day's something new.
35:11
Speaker 4: Things happen all the time that like just it keeps
35:14
Speaker 4: things interesting. And it's just it's one of those jobs.
35:17
Speaker 4: Like at the end of the day, like you know,
35:19
Speaker 4: I come home and I kick my boots off and
35:21
Speaker 4: I just think to myself, like, like what a day
35:24
Speaker 4: that was, And then going tomorrow and it's it's something different,
35:28
Speaker 4: something else happens. You know, it's not always good things,
35:31
Speaker 4: but you know.
35:33
Speaker 3: It keeps it keeps my drolling up, So I love it.
35:36
Speaker 5: For now, have you seen the Instagram trend or the
35:39
Speaker 5: TikTok trend right now where boyfriends are telling their girlfriends
35:45
Speaker 5: that they're getting into underwater diving as a career.
35:48
Speaker 3: Now, I did see that.
35:50
Speaker 5: What do you think of it?
35:52
Speaker 3: It's it's pretty funny. I actually wanted to do one.
35:55
Speaker 4: I wanted to like, are you talking about the one
35:57
Speaker 4: like where you got the job an Excellon mobile down
35:59
Speaker 4: in the golf and like all their reactions are like no,
36:02
Speaker 4: like you know, they flip out.
36:04
Speaker 3: It's so dangerous. Well, I was thinking about.
36:07
Speaker 4: Doing one, but like calling my mom and telling her
36:09
Speaker 4: because she would just be like, oh cool, like yeah,
36:11
Speaker 4: we'll have fun. But I'm not a big social media guy.
36:17
Speaker 4: So it was like I just never got to it.
36:18
Speaker 4: So I probably never will.
36:21
Speaker 2: Your parents worry about you. It's like it's a dangerous job, right,
36:25
Speaker 2: yeah it is.
36:26
Speaker 4: But you know, I just just got to be safe.
36:30
Speaker 4: It's one of those jobs that you know, you really
36:32
Speaker 4: have to take serious and you can't cut corners and
36:35
Speaker 4: you have to do it the right way, and uh,
36:39
Speaker 4: you know, it's just I just make sure that everything
36:42
Speaker 4: I do on my end, I do it right and
36:44
Speaker 4: the way I'm supposed to do it. And then so,
36:48
Speaker 4: I mean, I can only control so much, but I
36:50
Speaker 4: just you know, I just have to make sure everything
36:53
Speaker 4: that I can control, I do it the right way.
36:56
Speaker 2: You say that you want your future spouse to be
36:59
Speaker 2: adventures enough to dive with you. What if you find
37:02
Speaker 2: a girl that's scared of water? Is as a deal brigger?
37:06
Speaker 3: No, I'll talk her into it one day.
37:08
Speaker 5: It just start small, start small. I have no concerns
37:13
Speaker 5: for you, John Henry. You're a good looking man who
37:17
Speaker 5: can go to any bar or any place and they
37:19
Speaker 5: say what do you do for a living? You say,
37:20
Speaker 5: I am an underwater diver, and everybody is going to
37:24
Speaker 5: be intrigued.
37:25
Speaker 1: You have.
37:28
Speaker 5: A lot going for you, and we appreciate you coming on.
37:31
Speaker 5: I wish we could celebrate you because of this next
37:36
Speaker 5: season of your life and this next job that sounds
37:38
Speaker 5: super fun and exciting, and you get a smile on
37:40
Speaker 5: your face when you talk about it, so obviously you're
37:42
Speaker 5: pumped about it. But you know we will respect that
37:46
Speaker 5: you can't talk about it now, so please share it
37:49
Speaker 5: when you can talk about it, so that we can
37:51
Speaker 5: celebrate you from a distance.
37:53
Speaker 4: I'll let everybody know. But yeah, I am super excited
37:56
Speaker 4: and I can't wait to share it. It's just it's
38:00
Speaker 4: it's a weird story right now, so I can't, okay,
38:03
Speaker 4: but when I can, When I can, I will tell
38:05
Speaker 4: everybody and you know, make it known.
38:08
Speaker 2: He's going to build Atlantis.
38:10
Speaker 3: I wish, but it's it's just as cool, honestly.
38:16
Speaker 2: Like it's gonna be like something in Dubai. Anyway, John Henry,
38:20
Speaker 2: thank you so much for opening up to us. It
38:22
Speaker 2: really means a lot sharing this story and well we
38:26
Speaker 2: hope yeah the very best for you and can't wait
38:28
Speaker 2: to find out all right.
38:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you guys for having me. This was fun.
38:33
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Thanks John Henry, see
38:35
Speaker 5: you all later. That's been John Henry, great guy, a
38:38
Speaker 5: lot of good things coming in his way. Wish him
38:41
Speaker 5: and Kat the best clarity on the breakup, which is
38:44
Speaker 5: good to have because obviously so many of these breakups
38:49
Speaker 5: leave so many unanswered questions. We got the questions answer
38:52
Speaker 5: today and so until next time. I've been Ben and.
38:56
Speaker 2: I've been Ashley. Bye.
38:58
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39:01
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