Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How a Career Communication Audit Can Transform Your Work Relationships
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to run a little experiment on you. I'm going to describe a work situation, and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind. Luna: Okay, I'm game. Hit me. Lucas: You're in a meeting. Your boss asks a question about a project you've been leading. You know the answer cold. Do you a) give a concise, two-sentence answer and stop, b) explain your reasoning, the alternatives you considered, and the data behind your decision, or c) defer and say you'll send a follow-up email? Luna: Oof. I'd probably land somewhere in the middle of a and b. I'd give the answer, but then tack on a sentence of justification. Why? What are you getting at? Lucas: I'm getting at something I call a Career Communication Audit. It's a structured way to look at how you communicate at work — the patterns you might not even notice — and see if they're helping or hurting your professional relationships. And the research here is pretty compelling. Luna: I love this. Because we talk a lot about skills, goals, networks — but communication is the delivery system for all of it. If that's broken, nothing else lands. Lucas: Exactly. And what's interesting is that most of us have a default communication mode — a go-to pattern that we fall into under pressure. And that default is often a relic of an old job or an old relationship. It's not strategic. It's just habit. Luna: So how do you actually audit yourself? I'm imagining something more rigorous than just 'think about how you talk.' Lucas: It's a three-step process. Step one: track your communication across channels for one week. Every email, every meeting, every Slack message, every one-on-one. Just note the context and your instinctive approach. Were you direct? Did you over-explain? Did you withhold information because you weren't sure it was perfect? Luna: That sounds like a lot of self-monitoring. But I can see how the patterns would emerge fast. Lucas: They do. And step two is where it gets interesting: you identify your default mode. I've seen four common patterns. The 'over-explainer' — loads of context, hedging, justification. The 'avoider' — defers, says 'I'll get back to you,' avoids direct answers. The 'info-hoarder' — holds back details until they're perfectly polished. And the 'steamroller' — dominates, interrupts, gives opinions as facts. Luna: I've definitely worked with all four. And I think most people fall into a blend. I'm curious — what was your default when you started out? Lucas: Over-explainer, without question. I had this belief that if I gave enough context, people would trust my judgment more. In reality, it made me sound insecure. A mentor finally told me: 'Lucas, when you give the answer, just give the answer. The extra words don't make you look smarter. They make you look like you're trying to convince yourself.' Luna: Ouch. But true. I think the downstream effect is that people stop listening. They learn to wait for the point, and they miss the nuance. Lucas: Right. And that's why step three is the most important: you design one micro-shift to test for a week. Not an overhaul. One small change. For me, it was: in every response, state the conclusion first, then offer to elaborate if needed. That was it. And it changed how people perceived me. Luna: I want to give listeners a concrete example. Can you share a case of someone you've coached through this? Lucas: Sure. I worked with a mid-level project manager — let's call her Priya. She was incredibly competent, but she kept getting passed over for lead roles. She did the audit and realized that in every status meeting, she'd start her updates with: 'So, I looked into this, and there are a few things to consider, and I want to be transparent about the challenges…' By the time she got to the actual status, people had tuned out. Luna: Classic over-explainer. And I bet she thought she was being thorough and collaborative. Lucas: Exactly. She thought she was building trust by showing her work. But the perception was that she lacked confidence. So her micro-shift was: lead with the headline. 'The project is on track for a June 1 delivery. The main risk is vendor capacity, and I have a mitigation plan.' Then stop. If people want details, they'll ask. Luna: And what happened? Lucas: Within three weeks, a senior director commented on her 'executive presence.' She got tapped for a high-visibility initiative. Not because she learned some new skill, but because she removed the noise that was drowning out her competence. Luna: That's powerful. And it's a reminder that communication isn't just about the words — it's about the signal to noise ratio. You want the signal to be loud and clear. Lucas: Exactly. And let's be honest: the workplace rewards people who communicate concisely and confidently. It's an unfair advantage. But it's also learnable. Luna: So for someone listening who wants to try this audit today — what's the first thing they should do? Lucas: Pick one communication channel. Maybe email, since it leaves a record. For the next five emails you send, before you hit send, reread them and ask: 'Is there a single sentence in here that doesn't need to be there?' If the answer is yes, delete it. That's your first micro-shift. Luna: I love that it's small. Because people think they need to become a different person overnight. But it's really about editing. Lucas: And this kind of work — it's exactly why we keep doing this show. Helping people make one small shift that changes their trajectory. Luna: If you've gotten something out of these episodes, and you want to keep them coming, you can support the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Even a couple of dollars a month genuinely makes a difference — it's what keeps this ad-free and focused on real, actionable advice. Lucas: Yeah, we don't run ads, and listener support is what makes that possible. So if you've found value here, that's the place. Luna: Alright, back to the audit. I want to talk about the flip side — because I've seen people whose default is the 'avoider,' and that can be just as damaging. Lucas: Absolutely. Let's talk about that. I had a colleague once who never gave a direct answer. Every question was met with 'I'll need to check on that' or 'Let me get back to you.' He thought he was being careful. Everyone else thought he was avoiding accountability. Luna: And the irony is that avoiders often think they're being diplomatic. But it erodes trust because people never know where they stand. Lucas: Right. So for an avoider, the micro-shift might be: set a rule that you give an immediate, even if imperfect, answer to at least half the questions directed at you. If you don't know, say 'I don't know, but I'll find out by end of day.' That's direct, honest, and sets a clear expectation. Luna: I think the key is that the audit helps you see your pattern from the outside. Most people don't realize they're doing it until they see the data. Lucas: Exactly. And once you see it, you can experiment. That's the beauty — it's not about fixing a flaw. It's about choosing a more effective strategy. Luna: So if someone wanted to go deeper, is there a tool or a framework you'd recommend? Lucas: There's a classic model called the 'Communication Styles' framework by Mark Murphy — it's based on four types: analytical, intuitive, functional, and personal. Understanding your own style and how it clashes with others is a great next step. But the audit is the starting point. Luna: And I think it's worth mentioning that this isn't just for people who feel they're struggling. Even high performers can benefit from a tune-up. Lucas: Oh, for sure. I did the audit myself again last year, and I realized I'd slipped back into over-explaining when I was stressed. It's a practice, not a one-and-done. Luna: I think that's the core message here: your communication is a lever you can adjust. And small adjustments can have outsized impact on how others perceive your competence and leadership potential. Lucas: So here's a challenge for anyone listening: for the next week, pick one communication pattern you want to change. Just one. And see what happens. I'd love to hear how it goes. Luna: And if you want to share your experience, you can find us at the Fexingo podcast network. We'd love to hear your stories. Lucas: That's it for today. Next time, we'll talk about how to use a 'Career Decision Journal' to make better choices under uncertainty.