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Modesty of the Heart · Providence Baptist Church - Sermons

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All right, please take your copy of God's Word and turn to the book of 1 Timothy, chapter 2.
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Once again, if you do pay attention to the bulletin, you notice in the liturgy, we are not going to be in the book of Mark.
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But I will remind you that that's where we're at. We've been preaching together through the book of Mark.
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We've come to the end of chapter 4.
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And as a general habit, this is what we find to be the healthiest thing,
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is to go through the Scriptures verse by verse, and that is our work right now in Mark.
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However, we can become overly dogmatic about that kind of thing and make that somehow an idol.
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And it's important at times to stop and address some things topically.
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Now, just to be clear, for those of you who may not fully wrap your mind around what good expositional preaching is all about,
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which I don't know that I would qualify myself as a good expositional preacher,
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but expositional preaching takes, as its main point, the main point of the scriptural text.
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We don't do things with the Scriptures to fit into our own opinion, our own methodologies,
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but we simply look at what the Scriptures have to say about something.
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And as we're moving verse by verse through Mark, we're looking at the life of Christ
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and what it would say to us and to our living.
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But we can also look at a topic and say, what does the Scripture have to say about this particular topic?
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And so, this morning, I'm not very apt to do this, but this morning's sermon title is
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Modesty of the Heart.
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We'll begin reading in 1 Timothy 2, verse 8.
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Paul writes,
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Join me in prayer.
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Father, we do praise you for this day, and I praise you for all of the souls that are sitting here together in this room.
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We recognize that they came here today by your providential word.
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And therefore, Lord, you have something for us, each of us, in this day,
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some way in which you intend to conform us in greater degrees to the image of your Son.
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And so, I pray that you will bless the reading and the preaching of your word to that end.
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Father, we need you for this.
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I need you to be powerful in my preaching.
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Everyone needs for you to be powerful in our hearing.
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That by your Spirit, you will apply these truths to our hearts.
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That you will make us into new creations.
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And we pray this in Christ's precious, holy, high, lifted name.
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Amen.
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So, this morning we're going to talk about modesty.
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And as you may assume, that's because it's beginning to warm up a little bit out there.
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And as we have a church that has so many young people,
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this is a particular issue that young people need to hear.
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Modesty ultimately is an issue of the heart.
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As all behavior is, it's very easy and we're often likely to talk about behavior modification.
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Tell you how it is you should live.
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And give you some practical steps for what that might look like.
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And that is such a temptation here.
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I so desperately want to make a list.
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And a bunch of rules.
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And tell you ladies what it looks like to be modest.
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Say, do that.
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And if you don't, I don't know.
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There will be some consequence.
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Right?
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We're going to discipline you some way.
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Right?
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But that doesn't really get at the core of the issue.
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And that is, it is an issue of the heart.
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In Ezekiel chapter 36, beginning of verse 26, God says,
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And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you.
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And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
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And I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
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So as we talk this morning about modesty and what that looks like, we must remember that Paul was writing to Timothy,
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who was an elder of Christian people, who was leading believers and was leading women who had hearts that were changed.
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So the condition of their heart should be, necessitates some outward expression.
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An appropriate outward expression.
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An outward expression that honors the gospel of Jesus Christ rather than profanes it.
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An outward expression that ordains, that lays good works on the gospel of Jesus Christ.
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Ephesians 2.10, Paul says,
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Now, this is a little bit, potentially, a little bit of a touchy topic.
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And I hope that most of you ladies in the room have already sighed a big sigh of relief.
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And have said, yes, a sermon on modesty.
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That is great.
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That is something that our culture needs to hear.
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I hope that none of you have gotten really uptight and are feeling uncomfortable this morning.
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I want to speak to you plainly this morning.
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And I want to speak to you pastorally as one who loves you and cares about you.
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Cares about what's going on in your life and about the things that you're doing that may bring judgment on you one day.
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It's a great fear of mine.
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And it has been all week as I've been considering exactly how to say some things.
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And what should and what shouldn't be said.
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It's a great fear of mine to embarrass any of you.
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I think.
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I want to at least believe that anyone here who doesn't quite understand what it means to be modest has done so out of ignorance.
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And I don't want to embarrass you because you're ignorant.
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If I say something this morning that applies to you and makes you want to sink in your seat and sneak out of here as soon as we get back up to sing, please don't.
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You have a past this morning.
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We will assume ignorance on your part this morning.
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And never again from here on out.
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But this morning, you can be ignorant of why it is you should be modest and how it is that that serves the church.
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So please don't let me embarrass you.
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I really, really, really don't want to do that.
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Sam has coined a little phrase for me and she calls it my stomp hug method.
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Where I step on people's toes and I give them a quick hug before they can get away.
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Please hear me now hugging you.
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Please hear me now hugging you.
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Not bringing condemnation down on you.
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If I thought anybody in this room intentionally dressed immodestly, was intentionally trying to cause the men in our church to sin, was really working at that, I would have no problem laying it out for you.
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But I don't think that's the case in our church.
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Ladies, let me encourage you to apply this truth to your own heart.
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To not sit in judgment of other people around you, but to apply this truth to your own heart.
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And then in turn, in speaking the truth in love, to apply it to the hearts of others.
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Let me caution you against legalism.
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Legalism.
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Proper Christian encouragement says to people, I want you to look more like Christ.
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Legalism says, I want you to look more like me.
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Don't do that.
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Don't fall into that trap this morning as we talk about these very practical matters.
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Now ladies, as I speak to you and potentially in your ignorance, I say to you that there is not a man in this world.
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And certainly not a man in this room that does not battle with the temptation of the flesh of sexual lust.
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Not a man in this world that doesn't deal with that temptation.
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Now there are men in this world that fight quite well against it.
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And I don't mean this as a huge boast to myself, but I have been fighting that battle for two decades now.
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A little over two decades now.
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I have been battling against sexual sin in my life.
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And I find massive victory in this by the grace of God.
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Massive amounts of victory in this.
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But as you get to know me, you'll learn that I hate the beach.
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I hate the beach.
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To me, to go to a place that's hot, that has no sun, makes no, I mean no shade, makes no sense.
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A place where I have to manufacture my own shade or buy it at Walmart makes no sense to me.
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I try not to be, but I'm a bit of a control freak.
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And I cannot control where sand goes when I'm at the beach.
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And it just absolutely drives me crazy.
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But let me tell you the primary reason I do not like going to the beach.
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It's not relaxing to my soul to go to the beach.
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I don't get to rest when I go to the beach.
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I've got to be on my game when I go to the beach.
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I've got to arm up.
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And I've got armor.
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And I know how to wield my sword.
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I know how to fight the fight.
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I just don't want to fight when I'm on vacation.
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I want to go someplace where I can relax and be calm a little bit.
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I don't want to get up in the morning and go, it's battle time.
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Let's go play with the kids at the beach.
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I don't want to.
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Somebody suggested to me this week, they said,
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couldn't you just bury your head in a book when you're at the beach?
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And I said, not with toddlers.
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This last year, Judah wanted to walk up to people laying down on the beach and say, hi.
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And you had to go, come on, Judah.
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Come with me.
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It doesn't quite work that way.
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Ladies, you need to understand that this is something that all men battle with.
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And we live in a culture that is highly sexualized.
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Highly.
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It is everywhere.
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Men are asking most of the time for these things to be in front of them,
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for these images to be presented to them.
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It's in magazines.
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It's in our Facebook feeds.
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I can't believe some of the advertisements that are showing on Facebook now.
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I may just have to stop using it altogether because it's just horrible.
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The shows that we watch, the casual nature of sex and the presentation of women in our culture
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is there all the time.
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You don't want to be a part of that problem.
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Now hear me clearly.
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Secondly, I am not this morning making men's sexual sin your fault.
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Please, please hear that.
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I'm not going to say it to you over and over again throughout this sermon.
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It is not your fault.
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Men have their own deal.
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They have to deal with their own deal.
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They will be held accountable for their own sin.
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However, you could be sinning and contributing to that factor.
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If I were single and had a roommate who was an alcoholic,
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and I always had the fridge stocked full of cold beer,
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and had a liquor cabinet full,
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and offered to him on every occasion a drink,
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would I not be somehow accountable for his sin when he fell back into his alcoholism?
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Certainly, that would be true.
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And so there's a negative feedback loop that we find in our society.
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Men struggle with this.
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Women want to be accepted.
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This is big picture.
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Culturally, women want to be accepted.
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So they dress the way they perceive men want them to dress,
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which causes men to sin,
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which causes them to desire that,
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which is this bad negative feedback loop.
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And men, we really need to be the ones that are responsible
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for getting that loop going the opposite way.
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We need to be the ones saying to women,
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I don't want to be attracted to you for that.
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I want to be attracted to you for your mind,
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and your heart, and your actions.
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We need to be saying that to women.
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We need to be saying it to them verbally.
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We need to be saying it to them practically.
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We need to be finding ways of showing them
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that we don't want to see them dress immodestly.
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Like, we've got to be working at that.
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But ladies, help us do that.
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Be part of that process of getting that feedback loop
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to be a positive feedback loop,
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where we are growing together in grace.
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I want to read to you a short testimony
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of a young guy in our church
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that most of you love and respect,
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a godly young man,
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to just give you some idea
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of what young people are dealing with these days.
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He wrote,
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When I walk on the college campus,
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I must confess as a man
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that each and every day is a battle.
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If I do not spend sufficient time in prayer
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and meditation on the word of God,
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I find that I have already lost this battle,
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the battle of lust.
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I am so thankful that my father is faithful
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to provide the grace to stand in purity
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and to keep my heart from wandering from him.
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I am truly thankful that he has created me
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to be a man attracted to women.
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However, when walking the college campus,
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I enter into a spiritual war zone,
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especially when the weather is warm.
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I must constantly be on guard,
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using every weapon at my disposal
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to survive in the battle for purity.
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Scripture memory, prayer, and music
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aid me greatly.
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I try to bounce my eyes
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as not to gaze at immodestly dressed women,
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yet it seems nearly impossible
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to heed the apostles' exhortation
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to flee sexual immorality
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and youthful lusts
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when around every corner
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I find the same temptation.
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There are certain days
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I know my only option
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is to look down at the ground.
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When I see a girl immodestly dressed,
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my heart breaks for her.
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Little does she know
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that in a campus setting,
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she probably will be devoured
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in the hearts and minds of many men.
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Then again, perhaps she is aware.
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I honestly don't know.
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I truly think the majority of women
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have no idea how serious
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that battle against lust is
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for every man, young and old.
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It never, ever stops seeking
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to turn us aside,
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to draw us into its paths,
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to count us amongst its victims,
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to drag us down
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to the chambers of death.
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For the most part,
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the church is a sanctuary
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from this battle against lust.
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Yet today, the struggle
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is slowly becoming
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just as hard
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in the congregation
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of God's people.
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The manner in which
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some women dress at church
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can cause major distractions
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for a man.
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I would dare say
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that most girls
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are ignorant concerning dress,
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but some are not.
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I plead with you
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to embrace the truth
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that you are a woman
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created in the image of God
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and beautiful apart
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from what this world
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would make of you.
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Though my sin is my own
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and I will be held
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accountable to God for it,
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I plead with women,
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especially sisters in Christ,
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to choose to aid their brothers
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in this unending battle.
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For the godly women
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who refuse to dress
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according to the pattern
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of this world,
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a thousand thank yous.
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You have chosen to follow
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in the beauty,
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honor,
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and dignity
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of Sarah,
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Ruth,
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and Esther.
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You have considered
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serving,
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caring,
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and loving your brothers
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of higher value
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than what this wretched world
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thinks of you.
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You are the truly attractive women
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in the eyes of a godly man,
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and I am forever grateful for you.
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Lastly,
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I think it is right
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to ask the forgiveness
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on behalf of all men,
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for we have failed
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to treat you
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with the honor
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and respect you deserve
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as those created
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in the likeness
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of our wonderful Creator.
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The result has been
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you dressing in a way
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which appeals to the eyes
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of sinful,
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depraved men.
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Change must start
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with men
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loving you
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and treating you
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with the dignity
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you deserve.
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Only then will your dress
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reflect your love
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and care for you
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with sincerity,
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your brother in Christ.
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This is a very common issue.
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Now,
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to be very clear,
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if all of you ladies
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in this church
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got it just right,
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and many of you do,
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to be sure,
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men are still going to deal
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with this temptation.
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It's still going to be
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on our college campus.
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There's no doubt about it.
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I was there the other day
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visiting with some students,
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and I'll address
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a particular fashion
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that's come about
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and was just shocked.
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Like,
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oh,
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poor guys.
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Winter used to be so safe.
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It used to be so easy
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in the wintertime.
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It's not really the case
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anymore
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on our college campuses.
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So,
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it's going to exist,
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but you do not
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want to be a contributor
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to the issue.
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You want to be a help to it.
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You want to be
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a service
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to men.
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Ladies,
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you must know,
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as I say,
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that all of the men
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in this room
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deal with this,
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that so many of them
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deal with it so well.
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I know a lot of the young men
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in this room
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very well,
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and they fight,
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and they fight well.
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They really,
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really want to be pure
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in everything that they do.
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They want to relate
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to you appropriately,
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so please,
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please help them.
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So,
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back in our text,
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we see,
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beginning there
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in verse 9,
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that women should
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adorn themselves
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in respectable apparel
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with modesty
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and self-control.
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And modesty
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is an interesting word
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we use in English
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that in the Greek
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has a bit more meaning
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to it.
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It carries the idea
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of bashfulness,
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right?
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That you actually
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would feel
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that it's inappropriate
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to expose yourself
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to men,
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right?
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But it's a bashfulness
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that has a regard
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to others,
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right?
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That cares about
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others seeing you
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in a particular state.
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The truth of it is,
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you can dress however
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you want to
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when you're by yourself.
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I don't care.
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When you're all by room,
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in your room,
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all alone,
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by yourself,
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it really doesn't matter.
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But when you go out
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into the world,
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you must consider
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how it is that other
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people are looking
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at you.
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And ladies,
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I know you have
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a culture that feeds
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attention for the way
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that you look,
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right?
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And you guys are all
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beautiful girls,
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especially the young ones
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amongst you.
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You're young,
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which is what our
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culture worships,
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right?
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You have the ability
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to wear scanty clothes,
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to not be modest.
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But is that really
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the attention
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that you want?
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Is that really
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the attention
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that you want?
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If in your heart
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you say yes,
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then we have so many
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things to talk about.
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Let me say to you,
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that is not the attention
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that you want.
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You do not want
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the type of attention
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that is fleeting,
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right?
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That objectifies you.
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You want people
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to care about
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who you are
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as a person,
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to look at you
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in the eyes.
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What would be my
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encouragement to you
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is to dress in such
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a way that people
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want to look at you
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in the face.
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They want to look at you
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in the eyes
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when they're talking
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to you.
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So you're to be
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dressed appropriately
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with modesty
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and with self-control.
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And self-control here
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just simply means
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soundness of mind.
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Be rational about this.
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Think about what
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you're wearing.
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There's a particular
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type of bug
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called a
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processionary
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caterpillar.
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We talked about
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this in a community
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group.
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I thought it was a beetle.
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It's a caterpillar.
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A processionary
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caterpillar.
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And this caterpillar
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will follow another
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processionary caterpillar
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to food.
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And you can actually
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get them to work
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in a circle
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where they get
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head to tail,
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head to tail,
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head to tail,
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and you can work
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them around in a circle.
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And they will go
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around and around
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and around and around
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in a circle
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looking for food,
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following the person
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in front of them
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for food until they die.
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Don't be a
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processionary
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caterpillar.
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Operate with
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soundness of mind.
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Lift your head up.
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Look around you.
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Don't let this
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culture lull you
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to sleep and tell
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you what's appropriate.
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But look to the
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scriptures.
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Look to the church
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and ask them
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what is appropriate.
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Function with
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modesty
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and with
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self-control.
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As I said to you
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before,
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I don't want to
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embarrass anybody.
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I don't want to
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offend anybody
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this morning.
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So I'm going to
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let the scriptures
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do that for you.
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Proverbs 11,
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22.
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I absolutely
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love this
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proverb.
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Maybe even a
20:07
little less for its
20:07
application and just
20:08
for its brilliance.
20:10
Proverbs 11,
20:10
22 says,
20:12
Like a gold ring
20:13
in a pig's
20:14
snout is a
20:15
beautiful woman
20:16
without discretion.
20:18
Like a gold ring
20:20
in a pig's
20:20
snout is a
20:21
beautiful woman
20:21
without discretion.
20:23
The gold ring
20:23
here is
20:24
the beautiful
20:25
woman.
20:26
The gold ring
20:27
is a beautiful
20:27
woman.
20:28
It's something
20:28
to be treasured.
20:30
It's something
20:30
of great value.
20:32
And the
20:33
contrast here
20:34
is that
20:34
this type of
20:35
thing should
20:36
not belong
20:37
in a pig's
20:37
snout.
20:37
It does
20:38
not belong
20:39
there.
20:40
So the
20:41
implication is
20:42
that a
20:42
beautiful woman
20:43
necessarily
20:45
should operate
20:46
with discretion.
20:48
The pig's
20:49
snout is
20:49
the lack
20:50
of discretion.
20:52
See that
20:53
there.
20:54
And pigs
20:54
in this day
20:54
were not
20:55
in any way
20:56
attractive.
20:57
Some of you
20:57
might have
20:57
thought,
20:58
Oh,
20:58
but pot-bellied
20:59
pigs are so
20:59
incredibly cute
21:00
and adorable.
21:01
Now,
21:01
these would have
21:02
been like
21:03
our modern
21:04
hogs,
21:04
the kind of
21:05
hogs that
21:05
are down
21:05
south just
21:06
ravaging farms
21:07
and you can
21:08
kill them all
21:09
year long
21:09
and you want
21:09
to and they're
21:10
hairy and they're
21:11
disgusting.
21:12
They're pretty
21:13
good eating,
21:14
but this type
21:15
of a hog is
21:16
what would have
21:16
existed here.
21:17
Remember that
21:17
the Hebrew people
21:18
didn't eat pigs
21:19
and pigs
21:20
would be out
21:21
at the edge
21:22
of town
21:22
where refuse
21:23
was dumped
21:24
and they would
21:24
go through
21:24
the refuse.
21:25
These were
21:25
not attractive
21:26
animals.
21:28
This is not
21:29
where a beautiful
21:30
woman should
21:31
reside.
21:33
It should not
21:33
be as a gold
21:34
ring in a
21:36
pig's snout
21:36
at all.
21:38
It does not
21:38
belong there.
21:41
Now,
21:41
the exhortation
21:42
that he continues
21:43
with is that
21:44
women should be
21:47
adorned in
21:47
respectable apparel
21:48
with modest
21:48
self-control,
21:49
not with
21:49
braided hair
21:50
and gold
21:51
or pearls
21:52
or costly
21:54
attire.
21:56
Now,
21:57
we could get
21:57
ourselves into
21:58
a little bit
21:58
of trouble
21:59
with this,
22:00
can't we?
22:01
And I am
22:02
one who
22:03
takes the
22:04
word of God
22:05
as the word
22:05
of God
22:06
and I take
22:07
the word of
22:07
God literally
22:08
in its literary
22:09
forms.
22:10
And so we
22:11
have to wrestle
22:12
with this a
22:12
little bit.
22:12
What does
22:13
this mean
22:13
exactly to
22:14
us and to
22:15
our culture?
22:16
Should we
22:17
take it just
22:19
at its face
22:19
value and
22:20
say,
22:20
ladies,
22:21
do not
22:21
braid your
22:22
hair.
22:22
It's not
22:23
appropriate for
22:23
you to
22:23
braid your
22:24
hair.
22:24
It's not
22:24
appropriate for
22:25
you to wear
22:25
gold or
22:26
pearls or
22:27
costly attire.
22:29
I don't know
22:29
how we would
22:30
define that
22:30
exactly.
22:32
What I say to
22:32
you is no.
22:34
It's important
22:34
for us to
22:35
understand the
22:35
culture that
22:36
was being
22:36
spoken to here
22:37
and then pull
22:38
the reality
22:39
out for us.
22:39
What is being
22:40
taught to us?
22:41
Paul is saying
22:42
to Timothy
22:43
that women
22:43
should not
22:44
ever improve
22:45
the way they
22:45
look,
22:46
that they
22:46
should never
22:46
do any
22:47
dressing up
22:48
at all.
22:49
I would say
22:49
to you,
22:50
no.
22:50
But what you
22:51
need to
22:51
understand is
22:52
that the
22:53
way in which
22:54
these particular
22:55
characteristics
22:58
were true
22:59
at best
23:00
of the
23:02
wealthy,
23:03
these were
23:03
things that
23:04
wealthy would
23:05
have done,
23:06
at worst
23:07
of prostitutes.
23:08
So as the
23:10
early church
23:11
was finding
23:12
some liberty
23:13
in their
23:14
faith in
23:15
Christ,
23:16
they were
23:16
beginning to
23:17
do some
23:17
things that
23:18
they would
23:18
never have
23:18
done previously
23:19
as respected
23:21
parts of the
23:22
community,
23:22
as Jewish
23:24
adherents,
23:24
or as
23:25
just well-to-do,
23:27
normal,
23:28
good,
23:29
Gentile people.
23:30
They were
23:30
beginning to
23:31
say,
23:31
well,
23:31
we like the
23:32
way the
23:32
pretty women
23:33
dress.
23:34
We want to
23:35
look like
23:35
them.
23:36
We want to
23:36
put on the
23:37
airs that
23:38
we are
23:38
these
23:39
women,
23:40
whether that
23:40
would be
23:40
the wealthy
23:41
or those
23:42
whom the
23:42
whole culture
23:43
looked at
23:44
as the
23:44
epitome of
23:45
sexual desire.
23:46
And that's
23:47
what they
23:48
were doing.
23:49
That's what
23:49
the instruction
23:50
is against,
23:52
is to be
23:52
sure that
23:53
when people
23:53
see your
23:54
apparel,
23:54
they see
23:55
godliness,
23:56
not the
23:57
things of
23:58
the world.
24:01
Now,
24:01
specifically,
24:02
we're speaking
24:03
about modesty,
24:04
but ladies,
24:05
this is going
24:05
to affect a
24:06
lot of other
24:07
things that
24:07
you do
24:08
and ways
24:08
that you
24:09
think.
24:10
Now,
24:11
I'm not
24:12
going to be
24:12
legalistic at
24:13
this point.
24:13
I could come
24:14
up with
24:14
some for
24:15
you,
24:15
but I'm
24:15
just not.
24:17
I'm tempted
24:18
to,
24:18
but I'm
24:18
just not.
24:19
I'm not
24:19
going to
24:19
say anything.
24:20
I'm going
24:20
to let
24:20
this work
24:21
in your
24:21
own heart.
24:22
How is
24:22
it that
24:23
you make
24:24
yourself up
24:24
to look
24:25
more like
24:26
the world
24:26
and your
24:27
motivation in
24:28
that,
24:29
the heart
24:29
in it all,
24:30
is to
24:30
not look
24:31
godly?
24:33
Our culture
24:34
does a lot
24:34
of things
24:35
to epitomize
24:37
particular types
24:38
of people,
24:39
like celebrity.
24:41
You must
24:42
think about
24:42
this.
24:43
Peter wrote
24:44
in 1 Peter 3,
24:45
3 and 4,
24:45
do not let your
24:46
adorning be
24:46
external,
24:47
the braiding
24:48
of hair,
24:49
and the putting
24:49
on of gold
24:49
jewelry,
24:50
or the clothing
24:50
you wear.
24:51
See the same
24:51
cultural issue
24:52
happening there.
24:53
But let your
24:54
adorning be
24:55
the hidden
24:55
person of the
24:56
heart,
24:57
with the
24:57
imperishable
24:58
beauty of a
24:59
gentle and
25:00
quiet spirit,
25:01
which in
25:02
God's sight
25:03
is very
25:04
precious.
25:05
This is the
25:06
way you
25:07
should want
25:07
to adorn
25:08
yourself.
25:10
With respectable
25:11
apparel is
25:12
the terminology
25:13
used here.
25:14
With respectable
25:15
apparel.
25:17
And you must
25:17
think about
25:17
what that
25:18
looks like.
25:19
What does
25:19
respectable
25:19
apparel look
25:21
like?
25:21
And again,
25:22
it would be
25:22
so tempting
25:23
at this point.
25:24
In fact,
25:24
I found some
25:25
great resources
25:26
that were
25:26
checklists for
25:27
you.
25:29
Most schools
25:31
have dressings
25:31
code.
25:32
Most of you
25:32
probably went
25:32
to some
25:33
kind of a
25:33
high school
25:33
that had a
25:34
dress code
25:34
of some
25:35
sort.
25:38
I'm just
25:39
not willing
25:39
to make
25:40
laws where
25:40
the Bible
25:41
doesn't make
25:41
laws.
25:43
I'm just
25:43
not willing
25:43
to do it.
25:44
However,
25:45
we do need
25:47
to address a
25:47
few things to
25:48
give you an
25:48
idea of what
25:49
I may be
25:50
talking about.
25:51
And here's
25:51
the part where
25:52
I'm really
25:52
worried to
25:52
embarrass you.
25:53
Don't be.
25:53
Please don't
25:53
be embarrassed.
25:54
You're ignorant
25:55
this morning.
25:58
Tights or
25:59
leggings,
26:00
whatever you
26:00
want to call
26:01
them, ladies
26:01
are not
26:02
pants.
26:06
Hug.
26:06
They're not
26:07
pants.
26:10
And if in
26:10
your mind the
26:11
natural progression
26:12
from the
26:13
tightness of
26:14
your jeans is
26:15
that you might
26:16
as well, then
26:17
your jeans are
26:17
too tight too.
26:19
Right?
26:19
If you can't
26:20
comfortably sit
26:20
down in your
26:21
pants, you
26:23
need to wear
26:23
bigger pants.
26:26
Ladies, bikinis.
26:28
How did that
26:28
become culturally
26:29
acceptable?
26:31
How is that
26:31
something that
26:32
it seems that
26:32
everyone does?
26:34
Even people who
26:34
from the world's
26:36
terms shouldn't
26:36
possibly ever
26:37
be seen in a
26:38
bikini, they
26:40
would not wear
26:40
anything else at
26:41
the beach.
26:41
It's bizarre that
26:43
the culture really
26:45
says that you get
26:46
within an hour of
26:47
the beach and your
26:48
brain turns off.
26:50
And you begin to
26:51
think entirely
26:52
differently.
26:54
Right?
26:54
Would any of you
26:55
ever walk into
26:56
this building in
26:57
your underwear?
26:58
No.
27:00
Why is it okay in
27:02
a different context?
27:04
I don't understand.
27:05
I honestly do not
27:07
understand.
27:09
Right?
27:09
If it would be
27:10
normative to wear
27:11
something on top of
27:12
something that you're
27:13
wearing, you probably
27:14
should be wearing
27:15
something on top.
27:16
Tights would be an
27:17
example of that.
27:19
If it would be
27:19
normative to wear it
27:20
as an undergarment,
27:21
treat it as an
27:22
undergarment and wear
27:23
something else.
27:24
on top of it.
27:26
Ladies, Facebook is
27:29
a dangerous medium
27:30
both for you and
27:32
for men.
27:33
When you go to the
27:34
beach and you make
27:35
your pose, your cute
27:36
little picture in your
27:37
bikini, you know it
27:38
ends up on a place
27:40
where everyone can
27:41
see it.
27:42
And sometimes, more
27:44
often than not, when
27:46
they didn't choose to
27:47
see it.
27:48
Right?
27:48
It shows up there in
27:49
the feed and that
27:50
image is imprinted in
27:52
a guy's mind and he's
27:53
got to deal with it and
27:54
he's got to wrestle
27:55
with it.
27:55
He's got to go to
27:56
battle because you
27:57
thought it'd be cute to
27:58
post a picture like
27:59
that.
27:59
Or your friend did.
28:01
Right?
28:02
You need to really
28:02
think about what you
28:04
wear everywhere that you
28:06
go.
28:07
Now, clearly, also none
28:11
of you would walk into
28:12
this room in a modest
28:13
one-piece bathing suit.
28:14
That would also be very
28:15
strange.
28:17
I think there is
28:17
appropriate swimwear
28:19
that you can wear.
28:19
And I would encourage
28:20
you ladies to be the
28:21
unique ones amongst your
28:22
groups of friends that
28:23
finds the cute,
28:25
appropriate swimwear.
28:26
And there are companies
28:26
out there doing this
28:28
now.
28:28
Right?
28:29
That you can be the
28:29
most adorable one on the
28:31
beach and be very
28:32
covered.
28:33
Right?
28:35
And I would encourage
28:37
you to do that.
28:39
You may not be able to
28:41
keep up with the latest
28:42
trend if you desire to be
28:44
godly.
28:44
You may not be able to
28:47
fit in with the crowd if
28:49
you desire to be godly.
28:50
Is this shocking to you?
28:52
That God has sanctified
28:54
you, He's taken you, and
28:55
He's set you apart from
28:56
the world to serve Him and
28:58
His ways, and you may not
28:59
be able to fit in in every
29:00
way?
29:01
Right?
29:02
That your pants may not be
29:03
as tight?
29:05
That you may be the one on
29:06
the beach in the one-piece?
29:09
The modest one-piece?
29:10
There are some horrible
29:11
one-pieces as well.
29:12
Right?
29:13
Is this a surprise to you?
29:16
It shouldn't be.
29:17
It shouldn't be.
29:18
And it shouldn't be
29:19
heartbreaking to you.
29:21
It shouldn't hurt you in
29:22
any way whatsoever to say,
29:23
I would gladly give up
29:24
that.
29:25
To serve my Lord?
29:26
No problem.
29:27
Right?
29:28
That's easy.
29:29
Right?
29:29
That is low cost.
29:32
Right?
29:32
To be a servant of the
29:34
Most High God.
29:35
He's called us to much
29:35
higher costs than that.
29:37
Right?
29:38
He's called us to suffer
29:39
for His sake.
29:40
To potentially lay your
29:41
life down for His sake.
29:42
To be martyred one day?
29:43
Don't wrestle over
29:44
swimwear with Him.
29:46
Be modest.
29:48
Serve your brothers.
29:50
Right?
29:51
How can you possibly know
29:52
what is and isn't
29:53
appropriate?
29:54
Right?
29:55
Nathan, give us the list.
29:56
Just give me the list.
29:57
I'm not giving you the list.
29:58
But what you can do
29:59
is you can ask your fathers.
30:01
Many of you have
30:02
godly fathers.
30:03
And even if they're not
30:04
godly fathers,
30:04
they probably know
30:06
the way men's minds work.
30:07
And you could say to your
30:08
dad,
30:08
Dad,
30:09
is this appropriate?
30:11
The little ones do it.
30:13
If I ever have daughters,
30:15
oh,
30:15
I can guarantee they're
30:15
going to get screened
30:16
before they go out of the
30:17
house.
30:18
Right?
30:18
And I'll also check the
30:19
backpack to make sure
30:20
there's nothing stuffed
30:20
in the bottom of it.
30:22
Right?
30:22
Ask your fathers and be
30:24
willing to take something
30:25
back.
30:26
Right?
30:26
Go to the store and buy
30:27
something, bring it home,
30:28
show it to your dad,
30:28
and go,
30:29
okay, dad,
30:29
I'll take it back.
30:30
I will honor you in that
30:31
way because you're a man
30:32
and you understand men.
30:34
And I don't want to be
30:34
consumed in the minds
30:35
and hearts of men.
30:37
Ask the women of your
30:39
church.
30:40
If this is your church,
30:42
we have many godly women
30:43
in our church that dress
30:45
very modestly.
30:47
Do that.
30:48
Talk to those women.
30:49
Ask them,
30:50
is this appropriate?
30:51
I'm feeling a little on the
30:52
edge here.
30:53
What do you think?
30:55
Right?
30:55
Ladies who are married,
30:57
ask your husbands.
30:58
I,
30:59
without ever talking to Sam
31:01
about it,
31:01
Sam has always asked me
31:03
about things she just
31:04
wasn't sure about.
31:05
Is this alright?
31:06
And you know what I'll tell
31:06
you,
31:07
that I really appreciate her
31:08
because she,
31:08
she really errs to the
31:10
side of caution.
31:11
And more often than not,
31:13
my response to that is,
31:13
yeah,
31:14
it's fine.
31:14
Like,
31:15
totally fine.
31:16
No big deal.
31:16
But on occasion,
31:17
I've said,
31:17
yeah,
31:18
I don't,
31:18
I wouldn't do it.
31:20
Right?
31:21
Ask.
31:21
Just ask.
31:23
It's such a simple
31:24
thing to do.
31:25
And when in doubt,
31:27
don't.
31:28
Just,
31:29
if you don't know,
31:30
you're standing in your
31:31
dorm room and you just
31:32
don't know if it's
31:33
appropriate.
31:33
You don't know if it's
31:35
going to serve your
31:36
brothers.
31:36
Just don't.
31:37
Just don't.
31:38
Caring for them matters
31:40
more than how cute you
31:42
might be.
31:43
Right?
31:44
Verse 10,
31:45
though,
31:46
is kind of the
31:47
continuation of the
31:49
beginning of 9.
31:50
Right?
31:51
What is it that you're
31:53
to be adorned with?
31:54
Respectable apparel.
31:56
Verse 10,
31:56
but with what is proper
31:58
for women who profess
32:00
godliness.
32:02
With good works.
32:03
So what should make
32:04
women attractive
32:05
to men?
32:07
Good works.
32:08
Guys,
32:09
that's the kind of
32:10
woman that you want.
32:12
Our cultural
32:13
definition of beauty,
32:14
so hear me carefully
32:15
here,
32:16
our cultural definition
32:17
of beauty,
32:18
we epitomize youth.
32:19
And guess what?
32:21
Your wives are going
32:22
to get old.
32:23
They're not going
32:25
to hold together
32:26
the way they held
32:26
together when they
32:27
were younger.
32:29
Speaking as a
32:29
spiritual man,
32:30
who loves my wife
32:32
for spiritual reasons,
32:32
she gets more
32:33
beautiful to me.
32:35
Right?
32:36
Physically and
32:37
spiritually,
32:38
she's increasing
32:38
in beauty
32:39
day by day.
32:42
But if you
32:43
epitomize
32:44
beauty the way
32:46
culture epitomizes
32:47
beauty,
32:48
you're going to be
32:48
disappointed one day.
32:50
Someday,
32:51
you'll wake up
32:52
to an older woman
32:53
who'll be laying
32:54
next to you
32:54
and you'll say,
32:55
that is not the
32:55
woman that I married,
32:56
if that is what
32:57
you care about.
32:58
Do not care about that.
32:59
Look for women
33:00
who profess godliness
33:01
and adorn that
33:02
with good works.
33:06
Proverbs 31.30,
33:07
speaking of our
33:08
famous Proverbs 31 woman,
33:09
says,
33:09
Charm is deceitful
33:10
and beauty is vain,
33:13
passing,
33:13
fleeting,
33:14
but a woman who
33:15
fears the Lord
33:16
is to be praised.
33:19
Ladies,
33:19
this is the way
33:20
you want to orient
33:21
yourself.
33:22
If guys don't
33:23
like that in you,
33:25
then they're not
33:26
worth your time.
33:28
Right?
33:28
If you have to
33:29
show off any
33:30
part of yourself,
33:31
any part of yourself
33:33
physically to a guy
33:34
for him to like you,
33:35
kick him to the curb.
33:37
And if you can't do it,
33:39
call me and I'll come
33:40
kick him to the curb
33:40
for you.
33:41
Right?
33:42
Not worth
33:43
your time.
33:45
You want a man
33:46
who is attracted
33:47
to godliness
33:48
as you should be
33:50
displaying godliness.
33:53
1 Corinthians 10.31
33:54
says,
33:54
So whether you eat
33:55
or drink
33:56
or whatever you do,
33:58
do all
33:59
to the glory of God.
34:00
This would include
34:01
the way
34:02
in which
34:03
we dress.
34:05
So it's important
34:06
that you see
34:07
that
34:08
part of the way
34:10
that you give
34:11
legitimacy
34:11
to the gospel message
34:13
is how you dress.
34:14
It includes
34:14
all so many things
34:15
about the way
34:17
we function in our life.
34:18
We've been talking
34:18
about that in Mark
34:19
chapter 4
34:20
as we've been preaching
34:21
through that
34:21
about not hiding
34:22
our light
34:23
under our bed
34:24
but putting up
34:24
on a lampstand
34:25
where it's meant
34:26
to be seen.
34:26
We've been talking
34:27
about how we should
34:28
be sowing seed
34:29
in the world.
34:30
This is the activity
34:31
that's fitting Christians.
34:33
We should be
34:34
functioning in this way
34:35
and that includes
34:36
the way
34:36
that you dress.
34:39
A really classic
34:40
example of this
34:41
is 1 Corinthians
34:42
chapter 9
34:43
verse 19-23.
34:45
Now hear me
34:45
we have great
34:47
liberty in Christ.
34:49
That's one of the
34:49
great blessings
34:50
is that we are
34:50
no longer
34:51
under law
34:52
but under the spirit.
34:54
So we have been
34:54
given access
34:56
we've been granted
34:56
permission
34:57
to do things
34:58
like eat pork
34:59
would be a very
35:00
simple example
35:01
of that.
35:03
We're allowed
35:03
to do
35:04
some things
35:05
not all things
35:06
but some things
35:07
we're allowed to do
35:08
we've been given
35:08
liberty in Christ
35:09
but you can practice
35:10
your liberty
35:11
for yourself
35:13
or for service
35:14
to the kingdom.
35:16
Let me give you
35:16
an example
35:16
in my life
35:17
I find it
35:18
perfectly
35:19
permissible
35:20
by the scriptures
35:21
to consume alcohol
35:22
not to become
35:23
drunk
35:24
but to drink
35:25
but because of
35:27
my position
35:28
and because of
35:29
the culture
35:29
we live in
35:30
this hyper
35:32
Christianity
35:33
fairly legalistic
35:35
culture
35:35
that we live in
35:36
I choose not to
35:37
and I am
35:38
practicing my
35:39
liberty
35:39
in choosing
35:40
not to
35:40
as in no way
35:42
profanes the gospel
35:43
Christ has set me
35:44
free
35:44
I'm free to do it
35:45
but I'm also
35:46
free to not do it
35:47
I would encourage
35:48
the same
35:49
for all of you
35:50
not a law
35:51
but think about
35:52
where you live
35:53
and what you do
35:53
and how it is
35:54
that you serve
35:55
the kingdom of God
35:56
I would never
35:56
want anybody
35:57
in our culture
35:59
to not hear the gospel
36:00
from me
36:01
because they saw me
36:02
drink
36:02
it's just not worth
36:04
it to me
36:04
I don't care
36:05
1 Corinthians 9
36:08
beginning of verse 19
36:09
Paul says
36:10
for though I am
36:11
free from all
36:11
I have made myself
36:12
a servant to all
36:13
that I might win
36:15
more of them
36:16
to the Jews
36:17
I became as a Jew
36:18
in order to win Jews
36:19
to those under the law
36:21
I became as one
36:21
under the law
36:22
though not being
36:22
myself under the law
36:23
that I might win
36:24
those under the law
36:25
to those outside the law
36:27
I became as one
36:28
outside the law
36:29
not being outside
36:30
the law of God
36:31
but under the law
36:32
of Christ
36:32
that I might win
36:33
those outside the law
36:35
to the weak
36:36
I became weak
36:37
that I might win
36:38
the weak
36:38
I have become
36:39
all things
36:40
to all people
36:41
that by all means
36:42
I might save some
36:44
I do it all
36:45
for the sake
36:46
of the gospel
36:46
that I may share
36:48
with them
36:48
in its blessings
36:50
what do you
36:52
ultimately care about
36:53
in this world
36:54
right
36:55
do you care about
36:56
being cute
36:57
do you care about
36:58
fitting in
36:59
do you care about
37:00
attracting the wrong
37:01
type of attention
37:02
from guys
37:03
or do you care
37:04
about the kingdom
37:05
of God
37:05
do you care
37:05
about advancing
37:06
the good news
37:08
of Jesus Christ
37:09
and if you do
37:10
if your heart
37:12
is modest
37:13
it is going
37:14
to affect
37:16
the way you live
37:17
it's going to affect
37:18
the way
37:19
that you dress
37:21
Titus 2.10
37:23
Paul says
37:24
that good works
37:25
adorn
37:26
the doctrine
37:27
of God
37:29
our Savior
37:30
so how we dress
37:33
guys this applies
37:34
to you
37:35
my two year old
37:36
and my three year old
37:37
outclass some of you
37:38
guys on Sunday mornings
37:39
might not want that
37:40
to be the case
37:41
right
37:42
this applies to guys
37:43
as well
37:43
how we dress
37:44
matters
37:45
because
37:45
it's about the gospel
37:47
everything that we do
37:49
should adorn
37:51
the doctrine
37:52
of God
37:53
our Savior
37:54
now ladies
37:56
let me say to you again
37:57
it is the fault
37:59
of men
38:00
that men sin
38:01
sexually in their minds
38:03
it is their fault
38:05
but it is your fault
38:07
when you feed it
38:08
you will be judged
38:10
one day
38:11
for your actions
38:12
and it is my great prayer
38:14
for this church
38:15
as an odd group of people
38:17
we're fluctuating constantly
38:19
college students
38:20
I love you
38:21
you make our group weird
38:21
and that's okay
38:22
like I'm really content
38:24
being weird that way
38:25
you come and you go
38:26
many of you
38:27
and I look out at your faces
38:27
I've never even seen you
38:28
before this morning
38:29
that's okay with me
38:30
I'm glad that you're here
38:31
but we ebb and we flow
38:33
and we change
38:33
but I just don't care
38:35
what I want
38:35
Christ Family Church
38:36
to be known for
38:37
is being set apart
38:38
from this world
38:39
not for the sake
38:40
of being different
38:41
we're not trying to be
38:41
rebels against our church culture
38:43
that's not the intention
38:44
of what we're trying to do
38:45
but to be set apart
38:46
from the world
38:47
that we might magnify
38:48
Christ
38:49
in all
38:49
that we do
38:50
and that includes
38:51
the way
38:52
you ladies dress
38:53
let's pray together
38:54
let's pray together
38:55
let's pray together
38:56
let's pray together
38:57
let's pray together
38:57
let's pray together
38:58
let's pray together
38:58
let's pray together
38:59
let's pray together
38:59
let's pray together