Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The 15 Traits Of A Female Narcissist!
Transcript
- 0:00Woo. Female narcissist can be just
- 0:03ass or even more dangerous than their male counterparts.
- 0:07Did you know that? I know some people are like Lee.
- 0:09Of course I knew that. Like I've been dealing with a
- 0:12female narcissist my entire life.
- 0:14My mom's a narcissist, My girlfriend's a narcissist, my
- 0:17sister's a narcissist. I'm surrounded by female
- 0:19narcissist, and they are tearing my ass to pieces.
- 0:22Lee, help me. And that's what we're doing
- 0:25today. Yeah.
- 0:26We're talking about the 15 characteristic traits.
- 0:28They can help you recognize or spot or just realize that you're
- 0:32dealing with a female narcissist.
- 0:34Now, this is a beautiful article by MSN on msn.com and whatnot.
- 0:38And it goes over 15 crazy traits.
- 0:40Not crazy traits, just 15 traits in general.
- 0:43I ain't gonna say I ain't gonna call to our Our Lady
- 0:45counterparts crazy because I'm a diagnosed narcissist, right?
- 0:49But we'll hop right into y'all trait #1 according to MSN is
- 0:54she's a master of relational aggression.
- 0:57I know. Yeah, I know.
- 0:58Yeah, like what? The relational aggression.
- 1:00What the hell is that? It says although male
- 1:02narcissists are likely to behave in overly aggressive ways,
- 1:05grandiosity, entitlement. Female narcissists engage in
- 1:08more covert or passive aggressive forms of aggression.
- 1:11Right. And passive aggressive is the
- 1:13perfect word choice to use right there.
- 1:15Because I think male narcissists, especially the the
- 1:18aggressive ones, especially the the Super abusive ones, the over
- 1:22malignant narcissists or active aggressive, they are active with
- 1:26their aggression. They'll yell, they'll scream,
- 1:28they'll throw something, they'll punch something, they'll break,
- 1:30they'll break your favorite vase or something like that.
- 1:33Whereas the female narcissist is more more passive aggressive.
- 1:36They use slights, they use like body language and things of that
- 1:40nature to mess with you to get into your head.
- 1:42It is more covert, right? It's more covert.
- 1:47I mean, you see what I'm saying? Because you think that they,
- 1:50like, they don't actually tell you what's wrong with them.
- 1:53They'll just let you guess, which can be more confusing.
- 1:55You can ask them straight up. Babe, you've been quiet all day.
- 1:58What's wrong with you? What are you talking about?
- 2:00I haven't been quiet at all. Like you.
- 2:02You must be. You must be making things up.
- 2:05Really. You're making things up.
- 2:06The relational aggression is absolutely true right there,
- 2:09y'all. The next one isn't a
- 2:11groundbreaking one, y'all. It's pretty much this is kind of
- 2:14comorbid. I'm not comorbid.
- 2:16It kind of just jumps the racism, it jumps the genders,
- 2:19right? A narcissist woman is obsessed
- 2:21with her image and her status. Yes, a lot of times you might
- 2:24see a go people, I think a lot of gold diggers who only love
- 2:28people for their money. Like you see a a 20 year old, a
- 2:3220 year old woman with a 85 year old man.
- 2:35That in and of itself could be narcissism because they're
- 2:37obsessed with that status that comes along with that, right?
- 2:39They're completely worried about their social status and how
- 2:41other people will view them and to that nature, right?
- 2:44They always worry about the the, the best clothes, the best
- 2:48everything, which is again, that's a male, a male
- 2:50narcissistic trait as well. Then she lacks empathy but can
- 2:54fake it. Well, the third one right here.
- 2:56Oh, y'all know that right there. A core trait of all narcissists,
- 2:59regardless of gender, is a profound lack of empathy.
- 3:02But narcissistic women, because women tend to be more in tune
- 3:05with their emotions, can actually make it better.
- 3:09And this has come from Doctor Romney Diversala, she says.
- 3:12As Romney Diversala says explains lack of empathy,
- 3:14graniosity and a chronic sense of entitlement and chronic need
- 3:17to seek out a admiration from other people.
- 3:20Those really create the core of the disorder.
- 3:22So a female narcissist might frame her lack of empathy as
- 3:25tough love, telling you she's just trying to help you be
- 3:28stronger. Yep, Bernie your ass to pieces
- 3:31by just making it seem like they care, but they really don't.
- 3:34They're just they use their like empathy to continue to tear you
- 3:36down as well. Right.
- 3:38Again, the 4th 1 is not that ground breaking right here.
- 3:40She has a public versus private persona.
- 3:42Yeah, which is going to be true for male narcissist as well.
- 3:44But with female narcissist, it's a little harder to, you know, I
- 3:47mean, it's a little harder to pick up on because they're more
- 3:49covert, right? And when people don't believe
- 3:52you, when they when you tell them what you're going through,
- 3:54when you tell them what you're experiencing, people tend not to
- 3:56believe you because they're covert.
- 3:58They're normally nice to everybody else.
- 4:00They have this good out exterior to the outside world, they're
- 4:03good, they're amazing. But behind closed doors, they're
- 4:05the damn she devil, right? Again, the next one right here
- 4:09says she's hyper sensitive to criticism, which is another kind
- 4:13of, you know what I mean? Again, male, a lot of male
- 4:15narcissists are absolutely hyper sensitive to criticism.
- 4:18I'm a card carrying member of the male narcissist that are
- 4:21hypersensitive to criticism. Not not so much so since I've
- 4:24been in nine years of therapy. But yeah, a narcissistic female
- 4:27can absolutely dish it but not take it.
- 4:30They can make the jokes, they can point fun point, point
- 4:32fingers, they can bully the other person.
- 4:35But as soon as you start happening to them, they crack
- 4:37like a damn egg, right? And boom, this right here going
- 4:40to get a lot of y'all. She's completely obsessed with
- 4:43competing with other women. Narcissistic women often view
- 4:49often view other women not as potential friends or allies, but
- 4:53as direct competition for attention.
- 4:56And the crazy thing about this one is this can manifest in
- 4:58friendships as well, right? A lot of this stuff can manifest
- 5:00in friendships, but this can absolutely manifest in
- 5:03friendships where you're a BFF who's actually a narcissistic
- 5:06woman is trying to take your man or trying to take your woman if
- 5:08they're, you know, if they're lesbian or whatnot, but like
- 5:10they're trying to replace you in your life.
- 5:12They're competing with you. They wear the same clothes.
- 5:14They just try to have you looking silly.
- 5:16They give you bad advice on how to to dress so that they can
- 5:18outdress you. I don't make the rules out this
- 5:23one right here. Boy oh boy oh boy, she plays the
- 5:27victim. Victim mentality is perhaps the
- 5:30most potent and manipulative tool in a covert narcissist
- 5:33arsenal. She has a PhD in martyrdom.
- 5:37Yes, yes, yes, yes with a narcissistic woman.
- 5:41It's never her fault ever. Whatever's happened to her,
- 5:45whatever she's going through, whatever she's dealing with is
- 5:48going to be the fault of somebody else.
- 5:50Very rarely do they take accountability.
- 5:52They're almost always going to be trying to put it onto
- 5:54somebody else or blame somebody else for their position in life,
- 5:57which again, I acknowledge is a very highly narcissistic trait
- 6:00in male narcissist as well. Y'all, let's get it.
- 6:03Let's get that clear. And BT dubs, this article's
- 6:05about Michelle Abrams is from six months ago.
- 6:07The next one, she uses feminine Wiles to manipulate.
- 6:10Oh my goodness, boy, boy, boy, boy.
- 6:13A narcissistic woman is adept at leverage traditional feminine
- 6:16stereotypes to her advantage. Woof woof boy, boy, boy.
- 6:21I'm telling you, I've said this before and even in my one on
- 6:24ones I resume, I tell a lot of men that I'm talking to or women
- 6:28that narcissist women will absolutely weaponize their
- 6:31femininity. Femininity, right?
- 6:33They'll weaponize motherhood. They'll weaponize the ability to
- 6:36be nurturing. They'll weaponize their bodies.
- 6:38Boy, I'm just telling you because women, the sensual
- 6:41needs, right? They they will weaponize their
- 6:44bodies to get what they want. They'll put the cheeks on you to
- 6:47get out of to get out of trouble, right, Lee?
- 6:49What do you mean put the cheeks on you?
- 6:50What do you think I mean? What?
- 6:53What do you think? I mean, that's crazy though.
- 6:56They will do it. I'm just telling you.
- 6:59I've been a victim of it right there.
- 7:00I've been a victim of getting the cheeks put on me to get out
- 7:03of trouble. I'm sorry.
- 7:05It works. We'll hop right into the next
- 7:09y'all. She has a crushing sense of
- 7:11entitlement which y'all already know is true.
- 7:13Y'all already know it's true right here.
- 7:15Narcissistic men and women both have huge senses of entitlement
- 7:19and feel like they are deserving of everything just because they
- 7:23are them. Not because they've earned it,
- 7:24not because of any kind of qualifications.
- 7:27I deserve it because I'm me. Like she knows that she is
- 7:30unique above all others. Just like I just said.
- 7:33I deserve it because I am me. Oh this right here.
- 7:36My my stomach hurt when I clicked on it.
- 7:37Y'all. She is a master of vulnerable
- 7:40narcissism. Forget the chest thumbing
- 7:42bravado you might associate with narcissism.
- 7:44The male narcissist right Female narcissist often fall into the
- 7:47covert. Like I said earlier, I haven't
- 7:49read the article y'all. Y'all seen this just same time
- 7:51same time. I am covert vulnerable
- 7:54narcissist, which is harder to spot.
- 7:56I said that research shows that while men tend to score high on
- 7:59grandiose narcissism, women often score higher on the
- 8:03vulnerable form. This type is linked to
- 8:05insecurity, defensiveness and low defensiveness and low self
- 8:08esteem. And this right here is where it
- 8:10can get tricky out. Let me let me explain what I
- 8:11mean by that. A lot of you can get a lot of
- 8:14rich, famous, narcissistic women that just the most beautiful
- 8:19women on the planet that are extremely insecure and they take
- 8:22it out on the world. You would never know it because
- 8:24of how they look. He's like, oh, how could
- 8:25somebody like you be insecure? I've done one on ones with some
- 8:28of them and they, I, I'll be confused and that's why I
- 8:31learned this. Yeah.
- 8:32I'm like, wait, what? You see what I'm saying?
- 8:34I just like talk to him and stuff like that.
- 8:35I've done one on ones. I've talked to him over Zoom.
- 8:37I've, I do a lot of one on ones over Zoom with you.
- 8:41It's all profits. I can't tell you, but like, I'll
- 8:44talk, I'll talk to him. I'm like rich, famous, insecure.
- 8:46Whoa, it's wild. But of course that's just me
- 8:49being ignorant and not knowing the the how deep insecurities
- 8:52can be right? Do y'all hear me admitting my
- 8:56ignorance? Am I healing Basically, y'all,
- 9:05We've got ads in here. She exploits relationships, man.
- 9:09To a narcissist, people are not seen as individuals, they with
- 9:12their own feelings, needs. They're seen as a tool or
- 9:14objects to be used. Narcissistic women also often
- 9:17form relationships not out of genuine desire for connection,
- 9:20but for our own personal gain. Yes, yes, yes.
- 9:23And again, there's not one single solitary way that they do
- 9:26this, right? There's not one single solitary
- 9:28way that they do this. A lot of times they'll do it in
- 9:30different ways, right? They'll do it in friendships,
- 9:34different relationships at work, they'll use you narcissist.
- 9:37Narcissist to women are users. Like you'll hear me mention the
- 9:40term gold digger in the beginning.
- 9:41I think most gold diggers who are only seeking you out for
- 9:44that tend to be narcissistic. Not all of them, you hear me
- 9:48say. I say most a lot.
- 9:49Let's say a lot, not out, not every most a lot of them.
- 9:52I know some of y'all like, is it narcissistic to me to want
- 9:55somebody that's successful to only care about that person
- 9:59because of what they you know what I'm saying that you have no
- 10:02more money. Why you what I'm saying?
- 10:06Maybe this is my maybe this is my own internal entitlement
- 10:09speaking right there. That probably is right there.
- 10:10I just had a revelation. That's probably just me this
- 10:12thinking. I I hate that.
- 10:14But I get it too, though, right? She's a communal narcissist.
- 10:17It's the next one I hear. Y'all communal narcissism is
- 10:20just like, yeah, y'all know a lot of people in fields where
- 10:23they help people tend to be communal narcissist.
- 10:26Let me retract that statement. A lot of narcissists like to go
- 10:29into fields where they get those jobs, where they help people,
- 10:32Nurses, doctors, some attorneys, right?
- 10:37Firefighters, police officers, security guards, ministers, you
- 10:43know what I'm saying? Donating to the homeless,
- 10:45nonprofits, things like that. You get a lot of narcissists in
- 10:47those sectors right there because their job title comes
- 10:51with some protection, right? You automatically assume a
- 10:54pastor is a good person. You automatically assume that a
- 10:57firefighter is a good person because they're a job, They're
- 10:59protected status. So a lot of narcissistic women
- 11:01go into fields like that, especially nursing and taking
- 11:04care of people and stuff like that, Hospice, things like that,
- 11:07because they get narcissistic supply from the communal
- 11:10narcissism. Next one, she's a drama magnet,
- 11:12which a lot of y'all would understand right here, which is
- 11:14just absolutely true. A narcissistic woman often seem
- 11:17to be the center of storm, chaos and conflict.
- 11:20Yeah, God, goodness gracious. Yes.
- 11:22And there's no accident. And this could be true for
- 11:24narcissistic men as well right here.
- 11:25Like they have to be a narcissist.
- 11:28Crave chaos, peace. Stillness is uncomfortable for a
- 11:33lot of narcissists so they crave chaos.
- 11:35That's why they create these chaotic environments.
- 11:37That's why they always starting drama.
- 11:38That's why they always spreading rumors and things like that
- 11:41because it benefits them in some way shape or form.
- 11:44This is why you get the chaotic narcissistic person who's always
- 11:47in drama. I know a lot of y'all have
- 11:49friends out there that you be like wait what the why are you
- 11:52always in drama? Why are you always in something?
- 11:54Because they like it, they love it, right?
- 11:57But because female narcissists tend to be more covert, they're
- 12:00harder to spot in these situations, they're more
- 12:02difficult to spot in these situations and stuff like that,
- 12:05right? Because they're more covert,
- 12:07because they're sneaky, right? They, they, they'll start the
- 12:11drama and then act like they don't know what's going on and
- 12:13just narcissist women can be very toxic.
- 12:19We only got a couple left, y'all?
- 12:20She can't take accountability, which again, that's a male
- 12:23narcissistic trait as well. But if female narcissists tend
- 12:25to, you get very emotional when they can't take accountability,
- 12:29they'll start crying, they'll start begging, they'll start
- 12:32threatening to harm themselves, which again, male narcissists do
- 12:35as well. So we're not going to spend a
- 12:36lot of time on this one. She's a narcissistic mother.
- 12:40Oof. I think we only got one more
- 12:42after this one more slide after this.
- 12:43This is 14. This is particularly damaging
- 12:45manifestation of manifestation of female narcissism.
- 12:49The narcissistic mother often doesn't see her children as
- 12:52separate individuals with their own needs or desires.
- 12:55They see them as an extension of themselves, existing to fulfill
- 13:00her dastardly needs and wants. Narcissistic mothers get
- 13:04narcissistic supply from their children and a lot of them
- 13:07torture their children emotionally and sometimes they
- 13:09do it physically. You see all these evil ass
- 13:11women, they be going to jail for stuff that they do to their
- 13:13children or they help their narcissistic abusive partner
- 13:18abuse their own children. Those narcissistic women, y'all?
- 13:22And narcissistic women can be narcissistic mothers can be some
- 13:24of the most evil people on the planet.
- 13:27And I think that might oh, key take away narcissism women is,
- 13:29oh, that might have been 15. How much lost count.
- 13:32Narcissism in women is easy to miss because it doesn't look the
- 13:34way you think it does. It also presents itself as
- 13:36vulnerable or covert narcissism. You have to all my fellows out
- 13:40there that are dealing with narcissistic women or other
- 13:43people, other women who are dealing with narcissistic women,
- 13:45narcissistic mothers, whatever, right or whoever, whatever,
- 13:47you're whoever you identify as, Just be careful.
- 13:51Document everything because if you let, if you lack
- 13:53documentation, because women, female narcissists tend to be
- 13:56more covert and more vulnerable. Narcissism, they can cry down
- 13:59there, can cry on cue and play the victim.
- 14:01If you don't have documentation, you're going to get in trouble.
- 14:04Let's just keep it hiding and ready.
- 14:06If you you need to document what's going on, you need the
- 14:08I'm not saying we're a body Cam or those meta ray band glasses.
- 14:12You need to be able to document stuff for your own protection
- 14:15and your own safety. OK?
- 14:16And the the more you have, the better it is for you.
- 14:19Anyways, y'all if y'all like this form of videos.
- 14:21If you felt this video helped you in any way, made it to the
- 14:24end, drop a fire emoji in the comment section.
- 14:27Hit that subscribe. But if you haven't mental
- 14:29illness.net for all things Lee hammock, my coaching, my
- 14:32courses, my website, all things Lee hammock out.
- 14:35And yeah, I'll be in New York City June the 2nd, June the 2nd
- 14:40I'll be in New York. Well, June 1st and 2nd I'll be
- 14:42in New York City. I'm going to have a live in
- 14:44person Q&A session. So if you want more information
- 14:47about that, just drop it in the comment section or e-mail me at
- 14:49INFO at mentalillness.net 'cause I got the book this, I have to
- 14:53book the spot here pretty soon. I won't have a book just yet.
- 14:56I'm New York ignorant, so New York City.
- 14:59It'll be in midtown Manhattan area so hit the subscribe by
- 15:03y'all peace.