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Feminist Movie Friday: Patrice · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. Welcome stuff. I never
0:07
Speaker 1: told your prediction by heart radio.
0:18
Speaker 2: And today we're featuring a delightful documentary rom com as
0:25
Speaker 2: I call it titled Patrise, the movie I was telling
0:29
Speaker 2: Annie because I was in charge of this outline today.
0:33
Speaker 2: A Peek behind the curtain is everywhere. I take it
0:35
Speaker 2: everywhere because the style is first of all, it's wonderful.
0:39
Speaker 2: I had a lot of emotions, a lot of anger,
0:42
Speaker 2: loved all the friends. Like it's a lot, so I
0:45
Speaker 2: hope you can keep up with us and my mindset
0:50
Speaker 2: in this movie, as in like how my mind works.
0:52
Speaker 2: You're kind of seeing because I was. It was one
0:54
Speaker 2: of those moments of like I wanted to talk about everything.
0:57
Speaker 2: I had a lot of emotions. My partner and I
0:58
Speaker 2: watched it. We both were in tears a couple of
1:00
Speaker 2: times because we were kind of like frustrated with them. It's
1:05
Speaker 2: a lot, but it is a twenty twenty four movie,
1:09
Speaker 2: so spoiler alert in it. I guess worth the watch.
1:13
Speaker 2: It is on Hulu. You should not a sponsor currently,
1:17
Speaker 2: but it is again a delightful movie. Worth the watch,
1:21
Speaker 2: worth getting those numbers up. I hope they get a
1:23
Speaker 2: lot of views for this movie. This documentary was directed
1:27
Speaker 2: by Ted Passen, who teamed up with Patricia Jetter to
1:31
Speaker 2: tell her story with the help of her own work
1:35
Speaker 2: and writing art and her friends. Here's a bit from
1:37
Speaker 2: their site from is patristhemovie dot com. So Patrise' the
1:42
Speaker 2: movie is part of a disability rebrand in the tradition
1:45
Speaker 2: of films like cryptcamp Fire Through Dry Glass and I
1:48
Speaker 2: Didn't See You There, which seek to center stories of
1:51
Speaker 2: disabled people and move the storytelling lens from the medical
1:54
Speaker 2: model of disability to the social model. And y'all, if
1:58
Speaker 2: you listen to our booklot, you know what we're talking
2:01
Speaker 2: about with that. So go back to the book club.
2:04
Speaker 1: Yes, it's any good one.
2:06
Speaker 2: It is a good one. You should also read that book.
2:09
Speaker 2: We need to go back to our book clubs where
2:11
Speaker 2: we were going to do actual book club style.
2:13
Speaker 1: We would announce the book at the end so people
2:16
Speaker 1: could read it.
2:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we need to try. We are
2:18
Speaker 2: so bad at deciding don't write before. But anyway, yes,
2:21
Speaker 2: we're also the same with the movies, to be fair
2:25
Speaker 2: with that. So Patrice was the lead production designer for
2:29
Speaker 2: this movie, by the way, and for the play portion,
2:32
Speaker 2: which is a part of the documentary. Her artwork was
2:35
Speaker 2: recreated by the art department as the sets, and they're
2:38
Speaker 2: really good, actually really really good. And the scripts of
2:41
Speaker 2: the movie was created out of the stories Patricia would
2:44
Speaker 2: tell or the interviews that she had with them. They
2:46
Speaker 2: would actually get all this down, write it up, and
2:49
Speaker 2: then have her memorize and use that as the script,
2:52
Speaker 2: which is phenomenal. And the movie featured a disabled actors
2:55
Speaker 2: to portray the disabled characters throughout, which again like they
3:00
Speaker 2: took a whole company and use them, and then they
3:02
Speaker 2: also took a whole company and use children actors, child
3:06
Speaker 2: actors for that no one, they were all protected from,
3:09
Speaker 2: you know anything. It's actually wonderful and they do a
3:12
Speaker 2: really good job in portraying these characters. And just as
3:18
Speaker 2: important for them is the inclusive cast and team of course,
3:21
Speaker 2: but they also made sure that accessibility was there by
3:25
Speaker 2: hiring an accessibility coordination team, and as it should, they
3:31
Speaker 2: said that accessibility included emotional support, so a bit more
3:36
Speaker 2: from their site, it says accessibility also included emotional support.
3:40
Speaker 2: A trauma informed counselor, doctor Laura Quiros, met with Patrice
3:44
Speaker 2: weekly during the majority of production. As we dealt it
3:46
Speaker 2: deeper into more difficult memories from the past. And in
3:50
Speaker 2: that article they go on to say, our goal was
3:52
Speaker 2: to match Patricia's generosity in sharing her story with creating
3:56
Speaker 2: an experience that could be as healing and cathartic as possible. Well,
4:00
Speaker 2: we hope our production can help normalize these practices in
4:03
Speaker 2: the industry. I love that. I love that so much.
4:10
Speaker 2: I love that they took that time to make sure
4:13
Speaker 2: that all of that was available because it is. It
4:16
Speaker 2: is a story that has a lot of trauma but
4:19
Speaker 2: also a lot of like growth for Patrice, and she
4:21
Speaker 2: is so kind to share those stories with us and
4:25
Speaker 2: talk about the reality of her story. So I love
4:28
Speaker 2: to see that this film was so aware and had
4:34
Speaker 2: such an amazing practice like this, and yet it should
4:38
Speaker 2: be normalized. Why can't it be?
4:40
Speaker 1: It should be?
4:41
Speaker 2: Should be anyway, moving on, So with that, here we
4:46
Speaker 2: go into the plot again is a little scattered apologies,
4:51
Speaker 2: and oddly they didn't attribute any of the actual friends
4:57
Speaker 2: and any of the credits. So I was really good
5:00
Speaker 2: annoyed by that situation because I'm like, why are they
5:03
Speaker 2: not getting credit for being a part of this? I'm
5:05
Speaker 2: sure they are, but IMDb didn't include them, so annoyed.
5:10
Speaker 2: But they did have all the kids in the all
5:11
Speaker 2: the people who portrayed some of the stories, but they
5:14
Speaker 2: should have had some of the friends because the friends
5:16
Speaker 2: were amazing. I loved them anyway. Going on, so we
5:20
Speaker 2: meet Patrice and her partner Gary Wickham, who were preparing
5:23
Speaker 2: for their big performance in an ice skating competition. I
5:27
Speaker 2: don't know how to ice skate. I just want to
5:29
Speaker 2: put that there. So I was like, what, Yeah, actually.
5:33
Speaker 1: I'm bad at ice skating. I feel like a horror
5:37
Speaker 1: fied face.
5:40
Speaker 2: Yeah mine too, because I was like what. So they
5:42
Speaker 2: are a big community who was a part of the
5:45
Speaker 2: ice skating competition for I believe the Special Olympics. They
5:49
Speaker 2: talk about their journey and they introduced us to their life.
5:53
Speaker 2: Patresa is one of the best school crossing guards once
5:57
Speaker 2: in the world and beloved by some many including the
6:01
Speaker 2: school kids, and she loves them and she loves her job.
6:05
Speaker 2: With them are their friends, including Elizabeth and Delaney. Elizabeth
6:09
Speaker 2: is a real one. Delaney is too, but Elizabeth is
6:11
Speaker 2: a real one with like her activism and her work.
6:15
Speaker 2: I just want to put that out there. I thought,
6:17
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, girl, let's be friends. So with
6:20
Speaker 2: that we find out that Patrisea and Gary are in
6:23
Speaker 2: love and with nothing more than being able to get
6:26
Speaker 2: married or the very least be able to live together. Unfortunately,
6:31
Speaker 2: listen to our past episodes, due to their disability benefits,
6:34
Speaker 2: they are not able to get married without losing a
6:39
Speaker 2: big chunk of it. We witness the struggle that Patrisa
6:42
Speaker 2: and Gary are going through navigating their relationships, their job,
6:45
Speaker 2: their benefits, and their social groups. Throughout this time. They
6:49
Speaker 2: decided instead of a wedding that they would hold a
6:51
Speaker 2: commitment ceremony, which is also risky apparently, but with that
6:55
Speaker 2: they decided having bride. They're gonna have bride Mays, Elizabeth
6:58
Speaker 2: and Delaney are gonna be brides Mays and groomsmen and
7:00
Speaker 2: such a reception and an official ceremony with their friends. Unfortunately,
7:06
Speaker 2: they run into a lot of challenges, including the fact
7:09
Speaker 2: that Patricia's car pretty much falls apart. Like the dude
7:12
Speaker 2: who was looking at her car was like, uh, I
7:15
Speaker 2: would tell you to never use this car again because
7:17
Speaker 2: it's going to fall apart. Literally. Yeah, it's like you
7:22
Speaker 2: have you were going to have issues.
7:24
Speaker 1: Yes, he even giggles.
7:25
Speaker 2: A little bit. He was like, no, I wouldn't touch
7:27
Speaker 2: this car if I was you.
7:29
Speaker 1: And she's really, wow, this is like my life's Yeah.
7:34
Speaker 2: She had put a lot of money. She had already
7:36
Speaker 2: did a little bit of a fundraiser to get this car.
7:38
Speaker 2: She's done a lot, and she had to get it used,
7:40
Speaker 2: like she had to get a not great one and
7:42
Speaker 2: it only lasted her a couple of years because this
7:45
Speaker 2: is what she could afford at the time. With that.
7:48
Speaker 2: Of course, the economy the way it is, I get you,
7:51
Speaker 2: it's getting a new car that's impossible. They're like, what,
7:54
Speaker 2: it feels so impossible. She and Gary go to look
7:58
Speaker 2: at actual vans that are accessible for wheelchairs and so
8:01
Speaker 2: much more, and she discovers that the most reliable van
8:05
Speaker 2: that she could get costs around fifty thousand dollars. Like
8:10
Speaker 2: he was like, it's just a low fifty thousand and
8:12
Speaker 2: I'm I guessed my heart hurt because that's definitely way
8:15
Speaker 2: more than the car I just bought. I'm like what.
8:18
Speaker 1: Yeah.
8:19
Speaker 2: We see her going through trying to get credit, trying
8:22
Speaker 2: to get approvals for a huge paper, like the numbers
8:25
Speaker 2: were like, oh my goodness. Gary was like, are you
8:28
Speaker 2: sure you want to do this type of thing, and
8:30
Speaker 2: we see that she does not have good enough credit.
8:32
Speaker 2: Her credit is not good enough to get this type
8:34
Speaker 2: of rates and cars, and there's no telling how much
8:36
Speaker 2: the rate was. Like my mind was spending on this one.
8:39
Speaker 2: Because we also know that the stipulations for their benefits
8:42
Speaker 2: as it currently is, is that they're so strict. They
8:45
Speaker 2: can't have a certain amount of money. They can't have
8:47
Speaker 2: over two thousand dollars in their account. If they do,
8:50
Speaker 2: they will they're Medicaid will go away. So having money
8:54
Speaker 2: for cars, homes, anything along those lines are impossible for
8:58
Speaker 2: them to do. But this is a beautiful moment. Throughout
9:03
Speaker 2: through the help of her friends and online community, she
9:05
Speaker 2: was able to raise enough money to get a reliable car.
9:08
Speaker 2: I don't think she knew they were doing this. She
9:10
Speaker 2: kind of sent out at like, hey, y'all, if you
9:13
Speaker 2: can do these things, like they collect cans and they
9:16
Speaker 2: are going through drives, they're doing all of these different
9:19
Speaker 2: things and they're getting minimal to Elizabeth was very frustrated
9:23
Speaker 2: by this by the way. She was like, why are
9:24
Speaker 2: we doing this, You're not getting enough money. At one
9:27
Speaker 2: point they gave like they two large trash bags and
9:30
Speaker 2: it was sixteen dollars. Yeah, so very frustrating in every way,
9:36
Speaker 2: but again through the help of her friends who rallied
9:39
Speaker 2: behind her and just talked about how amazing about a
9:41
Speaker 2: person she is and well, how she deserves this, and
9:44
Speaker 2: how this is on lifeline because at one point she
9:46
Speaker 2: thought she was going about to lose her job. She
9:48
Speaker 2: was able to get that money she verified with the
9:51
Speaker 2: fundraising organization. They're like congratulations, and she just goes into
9:54
Speaker 2: like silence. It's a beautiful moment that she's able to
9:57
Speaker 2: buy the car and she goes and gets it and
10:00
Speaker 2: shows that all the dude comes back and gives the
10:02
Speaker 2: car is like, you deserve this. I hope you love
10:04
Speaker 2: this car type of thing, which also was in my head.
10:06
Speaker 2: I was like, well, if she really deserved it, you
10:08
Speaker 2: would have helped her instead of told her it was
10:09
Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars.
10:10
Speaker 1: But you know, yeah, this is also just to note,
10:14
Speaker 1: we did talk about this on the episode we did
10:17
Speaker 1: on marriage and disability. But you can't use GoFundMe because
10:22
Speaker 1: that counts as income, that's right. So she had to
10:25
Speaker 1: use a separate She had to find a separate thing
10:28
Speaker 1: so it wouldn't register as income, right.
10:33
Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyway, with going on and throughout the documentary, we
10:35
Speaker 2: actually learned Patrisa's life story and the difficulties she and
10:38
Speaker 2: her family, specifically her mother had to struggle through in
10:41
Speaker 2: their own relationships and in the society at large. Mother
10:46
Speaker 2: her mother kept her out of institutions as much as
10:48
Speaker 2: she could because she saw because she worked at one,
10:50
Speaker 2: and she saw how awful they were. I think this
10:52
Speaker 2: was in the seventies until there was a whole conflict
10:55
Speaker 2: because Patras went to a dance and her mama did
10:59
Speaker 2: not like this, that her mama did not trust her
11:01
Speaker 2: because she was definitely infantalizing Paterse a lot and things
11:05
Speaker 2: got became physical, and at that point she is in
11:10
Speaker 2: an institution. I think she actually got into detention center.
11:12
Speaker 2: And in this she also talks about how they kind
11:17
Speaker 2: of progressed in their relationship. We understand how Patrice saw
11:21
Speaker 2: her own childhood because this by the way, she had
11:24
Speaker 2: this play ready to go from when she was young.
11:26
Speaker 2: You actually see clips of her filming things, and then
11:29
Speaker 2: you see clips of her drawings that made it into
11:32
Speaker 2: the sets, and also her walking through the complicated relationship
11:36
Speaker 2: with her mother, and she admits you know, these were
11:38
Speaker 2: the bad things that have happened. But I know my
11:40
Speaker 2: mom did the best she could. She didn't know what
11:43
Speaker 2: exactly she was doing in all of this, but she
11:45
Speaker 2: came from the era of the seventies where her dreams
11:49
Speaker 2: were to be a ballet dancer and that never worked out. Like,
11:52
Speaker 2: there's so much into this that that she had, and
11:56
Speaker 2: her mother had a lot of fears for her. But
11:58
Speaker 2: the very last day she got to it and joke
12:00
Speaker 2: with her and have laughs and before she died, and
12:03
Speaker 2: it was just like, oh my god. So a lot
12:06
Speaker 2: of closure there. So it was beautiful and she has
12:08
Speaker 2: a great relationship with her older sister. We see a
12:11
Speaker 2: clip of her also during that fundraiser two. I was like, ah, tears,
12:15
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I'm okay. We also see that friendship that
12:20
Speaker 2: blossomed into a romance between her and Gary, as well
12:24
Speaker 2: as her fighting to get the job that she loved.
12:26
Speaker 2: She talked about the industry and how bad it was.
12:29
Speaker 2: We're gonna talk a little bit about that, but like
12:31
Speaker 2: she was not qualified for anything, and then all of
12:33
Speaker 2: a sudden she's like, you know what, I want this job.
12:36
Speaker 2: She goes to the mayor. She's like, I can't prove
12:38
Speaker 2: to this that this was discrimination, but I'm pretty sure
12:41
Speaker 2: it is and she was able to do it. I
12:43
Speaker 2: loved everything about that, Like, yeah, girl, you're a fighter.
12:46
Speaker 1: Like didn't she like interview twenty times?
12:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, she interviewed so many times. And finally she was
12:52
Speaker 2: like what why. She was like, you know what, mayor, Mayor,
12:56
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, advocate, she's an advocate. Also in the documentary,
13:02
Speaker 2: we see Patrice and her friends come together to continue
13:05
Speaker 2: to fight and advocate for the rights for the disabled community.
13:08
Speaker 2: Patricia those out this idea. They have a whole like
13:10
Speaker 2: support team meeting talking about the marriage inequality and how
13:13
Speaker 2: this is really bad and they really just want to
13:15
Speaker 2: be with a person that they love and they and
13:19
Speaker 2: she goes like, we know what, why don't we go
13:20
Speaker 2: to DC. Why don't we go to them and ask
13:22
Speaker 2: couples and show them who we are, like how much
13:25
Speaker 2: we love each other, and so they can see us
13:27
Speaker 2: and know that we are here, we exist, and we
13:29
Speaker 2: have the right to love each other. And she's like,
13:31
Speaker 2: you know what, let's have our ceremony there. It was great.
13:35
Speaker 2: So they did. They did this very thing, and in
13:39
Speaker 2: this it was a beautiful moment. She does a whole
13:41
Speaker 2: little ceremony for them and they all kiss and it's
13:45
Speaker 2: such a cutie. But in all of this, Patrice and
13:48
Speaker 2: Gary are going strong today for what I gather, and
13:51
Speaker 2: though they are still fighting for equal rights for disabled people,
13:54
Speaker 2: they're not quitting.
13:56
Speaker 1: You know.
13:56
Speaker 2: This film was a part of that conversation that she's
14:01
Speaker 2: not asking for more, she's asking for.
14:04
Speaker 1: Equal Yeah, I mean, I think that should be a thing.
14:11
Speaker 1: I'm with you and your partner. It's a beautiful movie.
14:15
Speaker 1: The artistic, her artistic, The way they do the flashbacks
14:20
Speaker 1: where it's designed as as if it's from a child's mind,
14:24
Speaker 1: is beautiful. It's interesting, you know. I love all the
14:29
Speaker 1: nerd things that.
14:30
Speaker 2: Were I didn't talk about it. I'm not. I'm so sorry.
14:33
Speaker 2: There's so many wonder Woman from Star Wars, Star Wars
14:37
Speaker 2: from Jump like there was, there's much of it.
14:39
Speaker 1: Yes, it was a very beautiful. There's so many beautiful,
14:42
Speaker 1: sweet relationships. A lot of the scenery was very beautiful.
14:46
Speaker 1: But I just get I knew this stuff. Yeah, and
14:49
Speaker 1: it's still infuriated me, Like the fact that you can't
14:53
Speaker 1: have more than two thousand, so she couldn't even save
14:55
Speaker 1: for a car. They couldn't even live together, not even
14:58
Speaker 1: get married, live together, right, like it just so it
15:04
Speaker 1: was one of it was a movie that was both
15:05
Speaker 1: like a beautiful, this is amazing experience, but also my goodness, right.
15:14
Speaker 2: Like, you don't want this to be Like I said,
15:16
Speaker 2: they try to step away from inspiration porn. They want
15:19
Speaker 2: to center the disabled community and actually have disabled people
15:22
Speaker 2: represent themselves in their own stories, which is exactly right.
15:26
Speaker 2: But at the same time, there's this level of like,
15:28
Speaker 2: but it has to be a bit of an inspiration
15:30
Speaker 2: because they do not have these equal rights that it
15:34
Speaker 2: has to push to people to be like this, this
15:37
Speaker 2: is inhumane. Please can you see us as human? Is
15:41
Speaker 2: a plea And it's such a like intensely imperfect and
15:47
Speaker 2: like irritatingly anguish, but you just like you feel like
15:53
Speaker 2: you can't you can't do anything. It's like overwhelming level
15:58
Speaker 2: of like why why why is the government like this?
16:02
Speaker 2: Why are people so insistent on making sure people can't
16:08
Speaker 2: be happy?
16:10
Speaker 1: Well, even the lawyer. At one point they go to
16:13
Speaker 1: a lawyer and she's just like it feels like she's
16:17
Speaker 1: near tears and says, well, the history was this, and
16:21
Speaker 1: they're just not gonna change it. I'm sorry.
16:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh okay, so we've already kind of jumped into it,
16:37
Speaker 2: but I'm I'm gonna name this Themes and Thoughts because
16:40
Speaker 2: they're not themes. Okay, So we're gonna put this section
16:43
Speaker 2: as themes and Thoughts, and we're gonna have a conversation.
16:46
Speaker 2: And this is where I say, my mind was kind
16:47
Speaker 2: of scattered because I just started typing quotes and going
16:50
Speaker 2: through like this and this and this and this is
16:53
Speaker 2: what I found. So hang the tight with us, listeners.
16:57
Speaker 2: We'll get to that point. You know how I liked it,
16:59
Speaker 2: like to expand. But of course, one of the things
17:02
Speaker 2: that it needs to talk about the different relationships, the
17:05
Speaker 2: number one relationship obviously because it is a rom com,
17:09
Speaker 2: which I did appreciate the beginning scenes of them getting
17:12
Speaker 2: into bed together and happy. It's just a very normal
17:15
Speaker 2: couple times they were like but they were like, well,
17:20
Speaker 2: I'm in bed to get turned off the light, and
17:22
Speaker 2: I'm like, to be honest, yeah that's us. I'm like
17:26
Speaker 2: yelling at my partner upstairs while in bed, come turn
17:28
Speaker 2: the light off. If we didn't have Google to tell
17:31
Speaker 2: us to do this, I have automated things. Then I
17:33
Speaker 2: would have been like, the light's gonna stay on. I'm
17:36
Speaker 2: too tired. I'm not getting up. I've done everything. But
17:40
Speaker 2: we do have that love relationship between Patrice and Gary
17:43
Speaker 2: who found each other who pace got friend zone first.
17:48
Speaker 1: I was like, what would you do? No, you don't know.
17:53
Speaker 2: The first and Nile and it took some time with
17:57
Speaker 2: them growing and helping each other in times of need
18:00
Speaker 2: like this is where we're like, I can't. They're not
18:03
Speaker 2: necessarily limited people of disabilities. They are together and they
18:06
Speaker 2: can function if they have the right things, as we
18:08
Speaker 2: talked about in the book club and having partnership that
18:13
Speaker 2: helps so much. And she was taking care of him
18:17
Speaker 2: and his love grew for her. Then he's like, you
18:19
Speaker 2: know what, you're not sleeping on the couch, come to
18:23
Speaker 2: bed with me. I was like, I love that she
18:25
Speaker 2: had put that in there. It was so cute.
18:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, I felt like it was. There were so many
18:34
Speaker 1: moments where there were instances of people saying things that
18:38
Speaker 1: we as society think or taboo, and one was her
18:42
Speaker 1: best friend was like, oh I farted or something like that,
18:46
Speaker 1: and she lowed. She thought it was great.
18:48
Speaker 2: They all have those moments. He talks about getting too
18:51
Speaker 2: many onions. He's like, you know what's gonna happen?
18:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I think because as we were discussing that
18:58
Speaker 1: in the book Club episode, there's been so much we
19:00
Speaker 1: don't talk about these things, so that's shameful and all
19:02
Speaker 1: that stuff, and so it was it was really refreshing
19:05
Speaker 1: to just see people do that disability or not when
19:09
Speaker 1: you get really comfortable with somebody, right, but I can
19:12
Speaker 1: understand when you don't know somebody that well and they're
19:16
Speaker 1: already willing to be like you know what, yeah that
19:20
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, we can actually talk about these things
19:22
Speaker 1: and you won't make me feel like I am strange
19:26
Speaker 1: because of it.
19:28
Speaker 2: Right, And I mean there's also this level and the
19:31
Speaker 2: love between them is they're like they didn't know. We
19:34
Speaker 2: loved this conversation that they had about coming together and
19:38
Speaker 2: truly loving each other. And they have such a couple
19:42
Speaker 2: moment in which she's in such distress because she's scared
19:45
Speaker 2: about her losing her car, she's scared about not being
19:48
Speaker 2: able to go back to her job. She understands like
19:50
Speaker 2: she can't qualify for these loans, all these things, and
19:53
Speaker 2: she doesn't know what to do, and he doesn't know
19:56
Speaker 2: what to do for her, all the things that he's
19:58
Speaker 2: doing for her, he's trying to encourage her, he's trying
20:01
Speaker 2: to help her, and then like he turns to his
20:03
Speaker 2: friend and he's like, you know, I feel like there's
20:06
Speaker 2: only so much I can do and I feel helpless.
20:08
Speaker 2: And it's the thing is like these moments where everything's
20:10
Speaker 2: stressed out because of money, which hers is like tenfold
20:14
Speaker 2: because again the level of stuff that she has to
20:17
Speaker 2: keep in order for their benefits is kind of one
20:20
Speaker 2: of those moments of like, yeah, this is a couple.
20:22
Speaker 2: This is being a couple and how you're doing together
20:25
Speaker 2: with each other and understanding sometimes you don't know what
20:27
Speaker 2: to say, and that's okay. You're just there. When they're
20:30
Speaker 2: celebrating together, when she finds out she's got she's got
20:34
Speaker 2: that money, the way he holds on to her and
20:37
Speaker 2: she just breaks the part into his arms, like that
20:40
Speaker 2: is that is love. That's a partnership. It's such a
20:43
Speaker 2: beautiful partnership. And the fact that they want to grow
20:46
Speaker 2: old together. And then they had to kind of face
20:49
Speaker 2: some of their own familial background when it comes to
20:53
Speaker 2: like the fact that her mother really truly felt like
20:56
Speaker 2: she could never be in a relationship, they're going to
20:58
Speaker 2: take advantage of her, They're going to do these awful
20:59
Speaker 2: things her, or that she can't have friends because they're
21:02
Speaker 2: not gonna understand her, they're not gonna be her. But
21:04
Speaker 2: she was like, wait, I can't make friends. Oh this
21:07
Speaker 2: is yeah, I will have lots of friends. That's amazing.
21:10
Speaker 2: And then as well as saying like for him, like
21:13
Speaker 2: his family who all died, who all from when I
21:16
Speaker 2: gathered died and he felt so alone and learning some
21:20
Speaker 2: of their life lessons and being able to see someone
21:24
Speaker 2: as family, you know, there's so much to that. Also
21:26
Speaker 2: found out his dad was in the video for a
21:29
Speaker 2: Public Enemy.
21:31
Speaker 1: Do you notice that?
21:34
Speaker 2: And like they pointed out, I was like, oh, that's him.
21:36
Speaker 2: And then he's like, also he's a wicket and I
21:37
Speaker 2: was like, well damn. Yeah.
21:40
Speaker 1: He was real quick to bring that out.
21:44
Speaker 2: But I think that's honesty, and like, because she is
21:47
Speaker 2: a black woman, he's like, I have to let these
21:49
Speaker 2: like my parents would not like her, but I know
21:52
Speaker 2: that's their prejudice. And I was like, yeah, well you
21:54
Speaker 2: know what, at least you know, yeah, at least you
21:56
Speaker 2: know maybe you have some baggage with that, So good
21:58
Speaker 2: on you. So there's like just some honest conversations in that.
22:01
Speaker 2: So they really were adorable and wonderful trying to figure
22:05
Speaker 2: this out. He was absolutely one hundred and ten thousand
22:08
Speaker 2: percent behind her, you know, which often happens in her
22:12
Speaker 2: activism right there, but like she was doing work and
22:15
Speaker 2: he was proud, and I love love seeing a man
22:18
Speaker 2: support his girl.
22:20
Speaker 1: I also love in the beginning, it opens, as mentioned,
22:24
Speaker 1: with an ice skating scene and she's kind of ironing
22:28
Speaker 1: her outfit, her wonder woman outfit, and he's like, so,
22:32
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to spin here, and he's like kind of
22:35
Speaker 1: correcting him. But it's it's it's very it's a sweet
22:40
Speaker 1: moment because he does he goes out and does it,
22:44
Speaker 1: but it's kind of this like joking moment between them
22:48
Speaker 1: where he's he's he wants to go support her, He's
22:51
Speaker 1: going to go do it, yeah, but he's kind of like,
22:54
Speaker 1: so reminded, what is happening?
22:56
Speaker 2: When are we do it? Yeah? Of course she's in
22:58
Speaker 2: charge of all the things.
22:58
Speaker 1: Okah.
22:59
Speaker 2: That's the other part that it's very religional, and we
23:01
Speaker 2: talk about these things as if it's bigger. We're not
23:04
Speaker 2: trying to say, oh, are thank you. It's literally like no,
23:07
Speaker 2: they're showing us this is their normal life and the
23:11
Speaker 2: things that are holding them back are literally what governments
23:15
Speaker 2: are not providing. Yeah, which would give them.
23:20
Speaker 1: Money if she could have saved the money.
23:22
Speaker 2: She loves her job, she wants to keep her job,
23:25
Speaker 2: but she also makes you to have to make sure
23:26
Speaker 2: she can't make over a certain amount to actually provide
23:29
Speaker 2: for them. Because health care. Annie and I just talked
23:33
Speaker 2: about our healthcare. We as people who are seen as
23:37
Speaker 2: able bodied and pay their bills a lot. It pays
23:42
Speaker 2: a lot of money in our insurants a lot. Only
23:45
Speaker 2: we have so much debt already in the amount of
23:47
Speaker 2: what we just for a regular doctor visit.
23:50
Speaker 1: M yeah, it's absurd.
23:54
Speaker 2: So I cannot imagine if you did not have this benefits.
23:56
Speaker 2: And I thought I had to have medicine on a
23:58
Speaker 2: constant or equipment on it constant, which I sudn't mind well.
24:02
Speaker 1: And also like somebody, I mean somebody has already made
24:08
Speaker 1: the comment to me, well, your insurance is going to
24:11
Speaker 1: go up from just this one thing.
24:15
Speaker 2: Right, And I was like.
24:18
Speaker 1: Okay, so, I I mean, yes, it's not. They were
24:25
Speaker 1: living perfectly fine. The government was putting in all of
24:28
Speaker 1: these obstacles to keep them from living. It's just to me,
24:36
Speaker 1: it sounds so absurd. Yeah, they just want.
24:40
Speaker 2: To live together, and what would be the status quo life,
24:43
Speaker 2: Like what people want us to do.
24:44
Speaker 1: They even say at one point, like what changes if
24:47
Speaker 1: they get married? Why is it It's not like their disabilities.
24:51
Speaker 2: Changed, right, They can't change exactly, Why taking it away? Right? Okay,
24:58
Speaker 2: So when we say this, and and that's what's kind
25:01
Speaker 2: of the point of the movie is like, know, the
25:02
Speaker 2: only things that are holding ours bag is not out disabilities.
25:05
Speaker 2: It's the fact that again we're not being treated as
25:07
Speaker 2: human and provided the adequate care, which should be automatic.
25:13
Speaker 2: Anyway back to but the friendships. Oh, I adored these friendships.
25:17
Speaker 2: I adored these friendships. And there was a moment where
25:20
Speaker 2: we are introduced to Elizabeth, who has been diagnosed with autism,
25:25
Speaker 2: and she talks about, you know, her life and what
25:27
Speaker 2: that looks like and having a lot of sensory things
25:29
Speaker 2: and being very aware, very self aware of how she
25:33
Speaker 2: functions and what she needs to do for those diagnoses.
25:36
Speaker 2: She talked about the fact that in her childhood she
25:38
Speaker 2: was diagnosed with bipolar and they wanted to institutionalize her,
25:42
Speaker 2: but the parents were like, no, who are not doing
25:44
Speaker 2: that and was able to get a better diagnosis. So
25:47
Speaker 2: she was really talking about how her parents helped her
25:50
Speaker 2: out with all of that. And I'm telling you, she
25:53
Speaker 2: was a real one the things that she was saying.
25:56
Speaker 2: She was fighting and arguing like and I get it
25:58
Speaker 2: because I get to this point in that same realm
26:01
Speaker 2: of like, Okay, this doesn't make sense, this is injustice
26:07
Speaker 2: that why would they do this? It just could not
26:09
Speaker 2: grasp why things would be the way it was. And
26:11
Speaker 2: I love that. We did have a moment in which
26:15
Speaker 2: Elizabeth was very supportive of Patrice, especially with the car
26:19
Speaker 2: stuff and understanding this is really important. This is something
26:22
Speaker 2: that is going to make a break a lot of
26:24
Speaker 2: her life decisions and a lot of the things that
26:27
Speaker 2: she depends on. And at one point Patrice calls her
26:31
Speaker 2: and talks to her and she's like, I'm so sorry
26:33
Speaker 2: for making you do this. I know you that you
26:35
Speaker 2: don't want to do this. Are we okay? And Elizabeth
26:41
Speaker 2: is like, what, Yeah, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed by like
26:45
Speaker 2: having to touch sticky stuff and having to deal with this,
26:47
Speaker 2: but and I'm frustrated that you can't get money and
26:51
Speaker 2: that the people are holding you back and the government.
26:54
Speaker 2: I'm holding you back. I'm not mad at you. And
26:56
Speaker 2: she has this quote that says, and this is what
26:59
Speaker 2: Elizabeth said. She says, there shouldn't be contingencies and friendships
27:03
Speaker 2: and oh my god, Elizabeth, why I did this is
27:10
Speaker 2: kind of what I did. I was like, oh my god.
27:12
Speaker 2: And at one point Patrice explains, you know, I've been
27:14
Speaker 2: really scarred by pastoral relationships and that she's been told
27:17
Speaker 2: that she's been she's too needy, and so she was
27:20
Speaker 2: so scared that she was going to lose Elizabeth because
27:22
Speaker 2: she thought she was being too needy. Why that moment
27:28
Speaker 2: broke me a little bit.
27:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that.
27:31
Speaker 2: I feel that I too.
27:34
Speaker 1: I also have to say I loved I feel like
27:38
Speaker 1: you don't. At least in my experience, you don't too
27:41
Speaker 1: often get a realistic depiction of somebody who has that
27:49
Speaker 1: type of autism. And they really showed it. And I'm
27:52
Speaker 1: glad that they did. Because people have these sensory issues,
27:56
Speaker 1: they have to go in the dark of whatever it is,
27:59
Speaker 1: and that that's another thing that I think a lot
28:02
Speaker 1: of people, able bottomed people misunderstand right, is they think
28:06
Speaker 1: disability looks this one way. So I'm glad I really
28:11
Speaker 1: appreciated that they showed that.
28:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, she definitely had a moment where she
28:16
Speaker 2: was like this too much is too loud, and she
28:18
Speaker 2: was getting anxious and over the top that she had
28:20
Speaker 2: to remove herself and go quiet in the room. And
28:22
Speaker 2: she kind of explains it and she wasn't kind of
28:24
Speaker 2: annoyed that she had to be in the dark room
28:26
Speaker 2: by herself in a time that had to that was
28:29
Speaker 2: to celebrate and plan for her best friend. But she
28:32
Speaker 2: handled that well. She knew it, she knew what she
28:34
Speaker 2: got and to that point, we have a conversation with
28:37
Speaker 2: her and patrise again and Patresea's like, hey, I will
28:40
Speaker 2: never put that put you in that position again. You're
28:42
Speaker 2: worth doing these that she changes for. I'm so thankful
28:45
Speaker 2: for you. We're good. Oh my godh god, this is actual.
28:51
Speaker 2: There's the amount of communication that was happening. Was a
28:55
Speaker 2: joy again, Elizabeth. I loved Elizabeth and that friend ship.
28:59
Speaker 2: We're talking little because she's in and out, she's all
29:01
Speaker 2: through this thing. But of course we also see the
29:05
Speaker 2: difficulties with family. I kind of talked we kind of
29:07
Speaker 2: talked about it at the beginning, about the relationship between
29:10
Speaker 2: Patrese and Gary, and just also her relationship with her mother,
29:14
Speaker 2: and she talks, she goes to real in depth about
29:17
Speaker 2: the things that they went through, being really having derogatory
29:21
Speaker 2: terms being yelled at her by her mom. She was
29:24
Speaker 2: kind of surprised and couldn't figure out why that was
29:27
Speaker 2: happening in some of the times, as well as her
29:29
Speaker 2: relationship with her sister and you know, like wishing she
29:31
Speaker 2: could be like her sister and could be around her
29:34
Speaker 2: sister more. Then again, we hear Gary's relationship with his family. Again,
29:41
Speaker 2: I think it was a little more complicated as well,
29:43
Speaker 2: a lot of things, but he really loved them and
29:46
Speaker 2: they really cared for him and was there for him.
29:50
Speaker 2: I cannot imagine losing your family or entire family, yeah,
29:54
Speaker 2: in that way, but there was so much to that,
29:57
Speaker 2: and then having their chosen family, like having of the
30:00
Speaker 2: friend groups that really rally for them, the coming around,
30:03
Speaker 2: eating the fruitcakes and all the all the stuff. I
30:08
Speaker 2: love friendships of course. Like also we talk about like
30:11
Speaker 2: the independence when it comes to this conversation about disabled
30:16
Speaker 2: people's and again it makes it really hard for them
30:20
Speaker 2: to be independent, not because they can't, it's because of
30:23
Speaker 2: the like the roadblocks the government puts up, the society
30:26
Speaker 2: puts up than anything else. She has a conversation about
30:29
Speaker 2: her owning her first home when she was actually like
30:33
Speaker 2: declared independent from her mother, which her mother kind of
30:35
Speaker 2: fought her on, but she won that, and then with
30:39
Speaker 2: that she was able to get a home because there
30:42
Speaker 2: was a program I believe before the bush here and
30:45
Speaker 2: then the Bush was like, yeah, these rights.
30:52
Speaker 1: No take back my Yeah that's not what I meant.
30:56
Speaker 2: Anyway, But before then she did. She was on that program,
30:59
Speaker 2: was able to get the house, and she was so excited.
31:01
Speaker 2: Everything was so great up until more roadblocks, and then
31:05
Speaker 2: she needed to get a job in order to get
31:07
Speaker 2: all these things because yes, the disability checks, surprise, they're
31:11
Speaker 2: not enough for someone to truly live. Literally. We have
31:15
Speaker 2: a moment of Gary being like, I paid all my bills,
31:18
Speaker 2: I have fifty eight dollars. Okay, now I need the internet.
31:21
Speaker 2: I got twenty dollars. I was like, oh my god,
31:24
Speaker 2: And she was actually really happy about that.
31:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're trying to put together this commitment ceremony,
31:30
Speaker 1: which we were all excited for because they have such
31:34
Speaker 1: this beautiful relationship. I hear this fifty eight dollars number
31:39
Speaker 1: and then the car breaks down, and it's just like.
31:43
Speaker 2: Another why I have the memories of like having the
31:46
Speaker 2: three jobs, living paycheck to paycheck and the anxiety that
31:49
Speaker 2: just rows into my chest hearing those numbers. H and
31:54
Speaker 2: I get it. And I was doing pretty good, doing
31:59
Speaker 2: pretty good, and she's like, we do and I was like, yeah,
32:07
Speaker 2: but back but trying to find independence. She does talk
32:10
Speaker 2: about I love some of the things that she did
32:12
Speaker 2: the minute she moved out, including she talks about I
32:14
Speaker 2: had ice cream at four thirty am because I could.
32:17
Speaker 2: I had ice cream for breakfast because I could, Like,
32:21
Speaker 2: I had loud music on, I had friends over, Like
32:24
Speaker 2: all of these things were quite like, Yeah, that's that
32:27
Speaker 2: feeling of independence at first. Their moments where I'm like,
32:31
Speaker 2: I'm an adult. I'm gonna eat cereal for dinner. No
32:35
Speaker 2: one can tell me squat, I'm gonna eat ice cream
32:38
Speaker 2: for lunch. I've done this y'all recently.
32:41
Speaker 1: You know. It's a very I think a lot of
32:43
Speaker 1: us can relate to this. When you move out and
32:46
Speaker 1: you're like, you know what I'm gonna do and then
32:52
Speaker 1: about a year later, you're like, uh.
32:54
Speaker 2: I can't live like this. She does talk about the
33:09
Speaker 2: fact that she knew she had to get a job.
33:11
Speaker 2: She was borrowing money. People are telling her, this is
33:13
Speaker 2: what you chose, You got to do these things. So
33:15
Speaker 2: she does. And this is what we were talked about earlier
33:17
Speaker 2: when she was trying to get the school crossing guard
33:21
Speaker 2: job and they kept selling her no, and other jobs
33:24
Speaker 2: and they kept telling her no. She finally settled to
33:27
Speaker 2: what was called a sheltered workshop, which I'm not gonna lie.
33:30
Speaker 2: I don't think I knew much about this, which is
33:32
Speaker 2: really unfortunate because my whole like grad paper was about
33:37
Speaker 2: child labor, but it was international, so that's bad on me.
33:44
Speaker 2: But sheltered workshops essentially they just hire you for minial
33:48
Speaker 2: jobs with giving you pennies based on how much you do. Yeah,
33:53
Speaker 2: and she called the sweatshops and I was like, you
33:55
Speaker 2: know what, Yeah, you're not wrong.
33:57
Speaker 1: She was assembling American flags well, by.
34:00
Speaker 2: The way, yes, and the holidays or the big days
34:05
Speaker 2: and a big push. And she talked about how some
34:07
Speaker 2: days she would have fifty one dollars for a check
34:09
Speaker 2: in some days it's seventy seven cents. I was like
34:12
Speaker 2: what and the mh yeah. Yeah, so she didn't talk
34:19
Speaker 2: about that. And then again her advocating for herself and
34:21
Speaker 2: being able to be like, you know what, it's time,
34:24
Speaker 2: Why can't I be a crossing guard? Let me do this.
34:27
Speaker 1: Because it says specifically in the thing like no qualifications necessary.
34:32
Speaker 1: There was like something in there that she was like
34:34
Speaker 1: because they always asked her are you qualified, and she'd
34:36
Speaker 1: be like, well, that's no qualifications necessary? Right, get out
34:41
Speaker 1: why she went.
34:42
Speaker 2: To the mayor you tell you. Here's the thing on
34:44
Speaker 2: top of that too, though we talked we do talk
34:46
Speaker 2: about job applications and we need to have more conversations
34:48
Speaker 2: about there's about no experience needed, but then five years
34:50
Speaker 2: of experience, but they want you to be newly graduated
34:53
Speaker 2: and how does that happen?
34:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, that whole process. We need to rethink that.
35:00
Speaker 2: I think what people are because people are real tired
35:03
Speaker 2: of these people having too much power. Yeah, anyway, moving on,
35:09
Speaker 2: of course, another part of this is the marriage equality,
35:12
Speaker 2: which we have been talking a lot about recently, started
35:16
Speaker 2: last year when the listener kind of brought it to
35:18
Speaker 2: our attention and thank you very much, and Andy did
35:20
Speaker 2: a full episode, and we're back to it again talking
35:23
Speaker 2: about Lori Long and the acts that they are trying
35:26
Speaker 2: to push and with that, of course, this was a
35:29
Speaker 2: big part of that conversation about to normalize disabled people
35:35
Speaker 2: or people with disabilities wanting to be in loving relationships
35:39
Speaker 2: like anybody else. Like that doesn't make sense that being
35:42
Speaker 2: married should cost you benefits as in fact a lot
35:47
Speaker 2: like people were getting married with children are getting a
35:49
Speaker 2: lot of benefits, a lot more benefits than not. So
35:53
Speaker 2: I feel like, do we understand those differences? Yes, So
35:58
Speaker 2: it talks about one of the commons. One of the
36:00
Speaker 2: quotes they say in this it feels like they punish
36:02
Speaker 2: you for feeling the feelings everybody else feels. And I
36:04
Speaker 2: believe that was Gary who talks about this. It's like
36:08
Speaker 2: it is, it's a punishment for a feeling which is
36:11
Speaker 2: encouraged otherwise. Like literally that's a whole objective for a
36:17
Speaker 2: project twenty twenty five.
36:19
Speaker 1: Yep.
36:21
Speaker 2: But we know, but we know, but we know when
36:24
Speaker 2: it comes to white supremacy, what this looks like, white
36:28
Speaker 2: patriarchal supremacy and what this is about, because they do
36:31
Speaker 2: they are purposely punishing it, especially with this new bill
36:34
Speaker 2: that We've talked about a little bit earlier with them
36:37
Speaker 2: cutting Medicaid and a lot of benefits. Snap SSI all
36:42
Speaker 2: this and this whole new label in THEIRS. They suddenly
36:45
Speaker 2: co opt it and say, if you're able bodied, and
36:48
Speaker 2: they get to decide who's able bodied as a reminder, yep,
36:53
Speaker 2: but if you're able bodied and enable to get a
36:55
Speaker 2: certain amount, I think that again, you still cut your benefits.
37:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, they just don't want to help you at all.
37:04
Speaker 2: Honestly, thank youlushits. But with that they do a lot.
37:09
Speaker 2: They're doing a lot of active activism, and I'm sure
37:11
Speaker 2: they're still out and doing more activism. They talk about
37:14
Speaker 2: how this is again Elizabeth, Elizabeth, I know you probably
37:19
Speaker 2: don't listen to this, but I'm a fan.
37:22
Speaker 1: I love you.
37:24
Speaker 2: So she says, it's dehumanizing enable as you're a human being.
37:27
Speaker 2: Like she's so angry about what is happening. This is
37:30
Speaker 2: when they're sitting there talking with a lawyer, She's like,
37:32
Speaker 2: this is a ridiculous, and she goes on and the
37:35
Speaker 2: lawyers trying to like interject, but Elizabeth has to make
37:39
Speaker 2: our point about the humanizing and how this is so
37:43
Speaker 2: ablest and how those that they are human beings that
37:46
Speaker 2: are in love, they want to be together. Why do
37:47
Speaker 2: they have to be punished. This should not be a thing.
37:50
Speaker 2: We should be able to do what we need to
37:52
Speaker 2: do in order to just live our regular lives with joy,
37:55
Speaker 2: freedom and independence. And she just loses it, like she
37:59
Speaker 2: doesn't love. She says it very articulately and just keep going.
38:02
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yes, yes, Elizabeth. I love that she
38:07
Speaker 2: comes in and just advocates, because it was like, I'm not
38:10
Speaker 2: really interested in relationships. All of the sensory stuff says
38:14
Speaker 2: no to this. I'm cool, I'm cool without it. But
38:18
Speaker 2: they need this, they want to be happy. I don't
38:20
Speaker 2: understand why they can't.
38:22
Speaker 1: She's yeah, it's great.
38:24
Speaker 2: She's a real one.
38:25
Speaker 1: You can tell, like she's kind of coming from that
38:28
Speaker 1: very logical. This just doesn't make it.
38:32
Speaker 2: I'm with it.
38:33
Speaker 1: I'm with her. It doesn't. She's completely correct, But yeah,
38:39
Speaker 1: she she was a great she was a great advocate.
38:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, they had had so much time for her, like
38:46
Speaker 2: to be able to explain everything because yes, she's like,
38:48
Speaker 2: this is not rational. Mm hmm, this is inhumane. Disability
38:53
Speaker 2: rights are human rights. And they kept saying this as
38:55
Speaker 2: their chance that it's absolutely true. Of course, Again, they
38:58
Speaker 2: did the plan trip were the couples to d C.
39:02
Speaker 2: They're asking for the repeal of the marriage penalty. Again,
39:06
Speaker 2: they did the performance marriage ceremonies, by the way, and
39:10
Speaker 2: Lori Long was there. She had a small snippet where
39:13
Speaker 2: she did get got on the stage and spoke. I
39:16
Speaker 2: have a feeling I think this is maybe the same
39:17
Speaker 2: one that she had helped organize as well. I think
39:21
Speaker 2: she was a part of that because I remember they
39:23
Speaker 2: said they did an a whole uh ceremony too, but
39:27
Speaker 2: she it was her.
39:27
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, that's her.
39:29
Speaker 2: I don't think they ever say her name, but I
39:30
Speaker 2: went and looked it up. I'm like, I'm pretty sure
39:33
Speaker 2: that's Lori Long right there. Yes, girl. And just a
39:37
Speaker 2: side note, this movie actually garnered an attention and a
39:42
Speaker 2: statement from the Social Security Administration, So I thought this
39:45
Speaker 2: was interesting. This is for released on September twenty twenty four,
39:49
Speaker 2: so it's pre pre bad times, y'all pretty bad time anyway.
39:53
Speaker 2: So this is what they said, all of us at
39:55
Speaker 2: the Social Security Administration want to recognize Patrice Jeter, Gary Wickham,
39:59
Speaker 2: and everyone involved in the PATRISEA movie, a documentary that
40:03
Speaker 2: focuses on the couple's concerns about losing their disability benefits
40:06
Speaker 2: if they got married, and they go on to say,
40:08
Speaker 2: our agency stands ready to assist Congress as it works
40:12
Speaker 2: to address outdated laws and to strengthen programs like the
40:15
Speaker 2: Supplemental Security Income as a SI that serves millions of
40:18
Speaker 2: people with disabilities throughout the country. Enacted fifty years ago,
40:22
Speaker 2: the SSI program provides payments to people with disabilities and
40:25
Speaker 2: older adults who have limited income and resources. In that statement,
40:28
Speaker 2: if you want to go back and look at it,
40:30
Speaker 2: he does go on to talk about how outdated it is,
40:33
Speaker 2: and he does talk about how it hadn't changed and
40:35
Speaker 2: so other belief since the eighties, and that it is
40:38
Speaker 2: time for change. But he also says, but we can't
40:41
Speaker 2: do that. It has to be Congress.
40:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that.
40:45
Speaker 2: Those tween twenty five they went the opposite direction, they
40:48
Speaker 2: sure did, they sure did. So I hate this, but
40:52
Speaker 2: I thought it was interesting that it made such an
40:54
Speaker 2: impact that the Social Security administrations look like, ah, we
40:57
Speaker 2: need we need to go ahead and say some.
40:58
Speaker 1: That somebody says something, let me go ahead.
41:00
Speaker 2: And say something. And it was the person in charge
41:03
Speaker 2: at the time it was credited to him. But anyway,
41:05
Speaker 2: Also we have an appearance with Jimmy Panetta who was
41:08
Speaker 2: also talking to Elizabeth, and Elizabeth wasn't having it.
41:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was basically kind of being very diplomatic, and
41:16
Speaker 1: she was like, no.
41:18
Speaker 2: No, sir, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell them.
41:23
Speaker 2: It's not gonna fly of her.
41:26
Speaker 1: Again.
41:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love Patrice and Gary, but I also am
41:29
Speaker 2: a huge fan of Elizabeth. I'm like, yes in that
41:33
Speaker 2: of course. There was a lot of hardships that we
41:35
Speaker 2: talked about before the car, the benefits itself, just in
41:42
Speaker 2: general helping with friends. I love that when she did
41:45
Speaker 2: get the car, though, she takes them all for a cruise.
41:48
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that was quality that.
41:53
Speaker 2: Was red with her Dice and the America Girl. Yeah, I
41:59
Speaker 2: love again talked about the ability to the possibility that
42:04
Speaker 2: she would lose her job, even though she was like,
42:06
Speaker 2: can you do can I get a location closer to me?
42:09
Speaker 2: Which they were like, there's no available ability, And there's
42:12
Speaker 2: so much to that that I'm like, oh, but I understand,
42:14
Speaker 2: like this is kind of the priority, but they really
42:17
Speaker 2: weren't able to work with her willing. I don't know
42:19
Speaker 2: she did not throw them under the bus. It did
42:22
Speaker 2: not seem in her way that she was trying to
42:25
Speaker 2: or saying that they did. So I don't know for sure,
42:28
Speaker 2: I decide, I though.
42:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just felt like she was such a popular
42:33
Speaker 1: she was a really popular crossing guard, and so it
42:36
Speaker 1: just felt I don't doubt that. Maybe it was true,
42:40
Speaker 1: but it just felt like you can't help her out somehow.
42:44
Speaker 2: Right, Like there was a bit side I also again
42:48
Speaker 2: with the dealerships and car people doing car salesman things
42:51
Speaker 2: like we got you a really good deal. Don't get
42:53
Speaker 2: me wrong, I know they're expensive to have, but we
42:55
Speaker 2: also know how much interest and how much they get
42:59
Speaker 2: in profit. It so also side eye yeah to them anyway, Yeah,
43:07
Speaker 2: hurt my stomach. Right again, the likelihood of losing benefits.
43:12
Speaker 2: I don't think we need to. I want to reiterate
43:14
Speaker 2: how unbelievable that is in this whole level. Like Jimmy
43:20
Speaker 2: Panetti talking about how this is how they cut costs.
43:22
Speaker 2: They said, that's too expensive to cover all people disabilities.
43:26
Speaker 2: Understanding that, yes, they are as we say. If you
43:28
Speaker 2: go back to the book club, as Emily says in
43:31
Speaker 2: her book, that they are the largest minority group. Sure.
43:35
Speaker 1: Well, also does they make the point that it's more
43:38
Speaker 1: expensive if they're institutionalized or hospital right?
43:42
Speaker 2: Also, like that's the other conversation is like how much
43:44
Speaker 2: money do we really need to help other people's wars?
43:47
Speaker 1: Ye? Yes, of course.
43:51
Speaker 2: There's how much money do we need to put in
43:54
Speaker 2: creating new detention centers that are privately owned?
44:01
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, exactly. I mean that's the thing is like,
44:05
Speaker 1: it's not that it's not even that much money.
44:08
Speaker 2: It's not it's not are you kidding me, it's not anyway,
44:13
Speaker 2: But all of that is that the level of ridiculousness
44:18
Speaker 2: in this and to the point that we talked about
44:20
Speaker 2: in our feminists or activists around the world where the
44:24
Speaker 2: SSI worker or ss A Social Security office worker was like, no,
44:28
Speaker 2: you wouldn't lose your benefits, that's silly, and then coming
44:30
Speaker 2: back and we're like, oh yeah you would, my bad,
44:32
Speaker 2: Like it's so unbelievable that you would automatically assume that
44:35
Speaker 2: wouldn't be a thing, right because also because it's not
44:40
Speaker 2: that much to begin with, as you said, any anyway,
44:44
Speaker 2: and we're moving on, but also the theme our thought
44:46
Speaker 2: to this was like the self sufficiency that the really
44:49
Speaker 2: seeking to show that they're okay, but they can take
44:52
Speaker 2: care of themselves and even if they need some help,
44:55
Speaker 2: that's just some help. They're still self sufficient in any ways.
44:58
Speaker 2: And that's what needs to be understood that if we
45:01
Speaker 2: normalize this, it wouldn't be a wow thing, or it
45:04
Speaker 2: wouldn't be an inspirational thing, or it wouldn't be a
45:06
Speaker 2: fight in anything, and like it just should just be.
45:10
Speaker 2: And like I loved how Patrice talked immediately about the
45:14
Speaker 2: fact that she loved her trains, that she could draw,
45:17
Speaker 2: She's already written her biography play wise, this is what
45:21
Speaker 2: this was. She already had her own children's show. Like,
45:24
Speaker 2: there are so many things.
45:26
Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate. Her fashion. Yes, oh my gosh, iconic.
45:33
Speaker 1: When she did the commitment ceremony.
45:35
Speaker 2: I was like, that dress was gorgeous, gorgeous, and she's
45:40
Speaker 2: just a very you can tell she's got all these hobbies,
45:42
Speaker 2: she's got this flair.
45:45
Speaker 1: That train village, Oh my goodness, that.
45:48
Speaker 2: Was professional and like level of war. Yes, it looked
45:59
Speaker 2: to the palisades. Look, what is this? All functions ain't working?
46:04
Speaker 2: Like all of that to say is like they she
46:07
Speaker 2: is fine, she is self sufficient. She cooks for herself,
46:11
Speaker 2: she cooks for her man, she cooks for her friends.
46:14
Speaker 2: Her man knows how to take care of themselves. He
46:16
Speaker 2: has like figured it that all out. And we didn't
46:19
Speaker 2: talk about this in Emily's but Emily talks about how
46:21
Speaker 2: she puts on her jacket, which is a little different
46:23
Speaker 2: and a little more difficult and will takes a little
46:24
Speaker 2: more time, but she's done it for so long that
46:26
Speaker 2: she's fine, and she likes to do it on her own.
46:29
Speaker 2: She doesn't need help. And that's that same level like
46:32
Speaker 2: they have it like adapted to how they need to,
46:34
Speaker 2: much like myself in any ways, on some things, when
46:37
Speaker 2: I'm hurting to get out of bed, I have to
46:39
Speaker 2: roll and I'm okay with that. I figured it out, Yeah.
46:44
Speaker 1: I said, I try to have my good ear on
46:46
Speaker 1: one side. I figured it out, you know.
46:48
Speaker 2: Figured it like this is self sufficiency.
46:52
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
46:53
Speaker 2: Did you just need to have accessibility?
46:56
Speaker 1: Oh?
46:56
Speaker 2: I think that's going to be our thing for the
46:57
Speaker 2: rest of his life. And also like when they do
47:11
Speaker 2: ask for help, they they will ask for help. Gary
47:15
Speaker 2: and she are a team. Yes, she made sure that
47:18
Speaker 2: she had things that were able to give him accessibility
47:21
Speaker 2: to everything. Like, I love that partnership in itself, Like
47:24
Speaker 2: that's that conversation that we need to have when Elizabeth
47:28
Speaker 2: needed it takes time away. She did. She knew she
47:32
Speaker 2: needed gloves to be able to work with her. She did,
47:36
Speaker 2: like all of these things. She needed to work some
47:37
Speaker 2: things out. She let it out and Buttressa's like okay, okay,
47:42
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, and then uh yeah. At this
47:45
Speaker 2: point when we were talking about the fundraisers too, again
47:47
Speaker 2: the self sufficiency like this is great and all I'm
47:50
Speaker 2: getting money like this in all and again Elizabeth says this,
47:55
Speaker 2: there's so many she just killed it. She says disabled
47:59
Speaker 2: people shouldn't have to fundraise to get their knees met.
48:02
Speaker 2: It just means the system's broken. Well, I think we've
48:06
Speaker 2: said that a lot about like fundraisers for doctor's bills
48:10
Speaker 2: and medications, and like why are people having the fundraise?
48:14
Speaker 2: Why is the insurance that we're already paying not covering it.
48:17
Speaker 2: Why are the government who are selling us that we
48:20
Speaker 2: need to be healthy and provide these things for you
48:22
Speaker 2: not covering it? Why are you putting extra money in
48:26
Speaker 2: taxes that are going to things that we don't want
48:28
Speaker 2: it to go to. Is that it's to our care.
48:32
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and as mentioned too, it was just going
48:38
Speaker 1: to count towards their income of thing, just go fund me.
48:42
Speaker 2: That Dutch and that would have absolutely crashed all of
48:46
Speaker 2: our disabilities because like it's not a constant thing, that's
48:48
Speaker 2: not I'm sorry, fifty thousand dollars barely makes a year
48:55
Speaker 2: to do anything.
48:58
Speaker 1: Yeah. I only laughed because recently a friend of mine
49:01
Speaker 1: was telling me, like, remember when you would hear a
49:04
Speaker 1: thousand dollars and you would think, oh wow, I've won
49:06
Speaker 1: so much money. And now that's like, where is that
49:10
Speaker 1: gonna get me? Like, I won't say no to it.
49:13
Speaker 2: Right, that's like pay a minute and a half or
49:15
Speaker 2: a part if I had to get a new one, right. Yeah.
49:21
Speaker 2: And on top of that, of course, we have to
49:23
Speaker 2: talk about community. The way they rallied behind her for
49:26
Speaker 2: the van, the way the community came together to do
49:29
Speaker 2: the disability activism in DC. The community that comes together
49:32
Speaker 2: as a support group to talk about these frustrations, Like
49:35
Speaker 2: I loved every bit of that, and how important that
49:38
Speaker 2: is still not big enough. It should be bigger. The
49:41
Speaker 2: community that is that when they come to rally, they
49:44
Speaker 2: really do rally.
49:46
Speaker 1: Yeah.
49:47
Speaker 2: The community that helped put the ceremony together commitment ceremony,
49:51
Speaker 2: and so excited to do so. The community, like she
49:54
Speaker 2: came together to help the skating community because they needed
49:57
Speaker 2: someone older to help out. I'm like, they really have
50:03
Speaker 2: been supporting each other. They really do support each other.
50:06
Speaker 1: Yes, which is something we've talked about several times, just
50:09
Speaker 1: in terms of any kind of intersectional issue. But I
50:14
Speaker 1: know when it comes to people with disabilities, that community
50:21
Speaker 1: focus is so important because it shouldn't be oh, this
50:26
Speaker 1: person is such a pain. It should be like, this
50:28
Speaker 1: person is part of my community, and so I will
50:33
Speaker 1: help them because I want to, and they'll help me
50:35
Speaker 1: when I need it, Like that whole thing. Instead of
50:40
Speaker 1: viewing it as a lot of our government would like
50:43
Speaker 1: us to view it as you know, they're mooching off
50:46
Speaker 1: the system or something. It's instead like, na, some people
50:52
Speaker 1: we just need help sometimes, let's help each other out.
50:55
Speaker 2: Also, that's what the government is supposed to be. It's
50:57
Speaker 2: not mooching off the system. They're already supposed to be
50:59
Speaker 2: doing these.
51:00
Speaker 1: That's what.
51:01
Speaker 2: This is not. What do you think?
51:05
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, but the community, it is very lovely. I do.
51:09
Speaker 1: I am very glad they put in the point though,
51:12
Speaker 1: that like, it shouldn't be this way about the fundraiser
51:15
Speaker 1: because so many I feel like, of the kind of
51:18
Speaker 1: inspiration porn things are like, oh, the community came together
51:21
Speaker 1: and it's great, and it is, but also.
51:26
Speaker 2: Well, it's also been an excuse with much of the conservatives.
51:30
Speaker 2: This includes because I think of my family in this way,
51:33
Speaker 2: but like that with the community is supposed hit. Yeah, it's
51:35
Speaker 2: not the government's job, but yes it is.
51:37
Speaker 1: Yes it is.
51:39
Speaker 2: And then on top of that being like but the church,
51:41
Speaker 2: and like the church does yeah, they've done nothing except
51:46
Speaker 2: really helped themselves. Maybe.
51:49
Speaker 1: Yeah. I have a friend of mine's dad is like
51:54
Speaker 1: one of the most conservative people I've ever met, and
51:57
Speaker 1: he at one time made a big show of giving
52:03
Speaker 1: someone an unhoused person I don't know, like twenty bucks
52:09
Speaker 1: I don't know, and he was like, see now I
52:12
Speaker 1: know it went right to him, and if I gave
52:15
Speaker 1: it to the government, I would never know. And I
52:18
Speaker 1: was like, well, okay, sure, but that's problem twenty bucks.
52:21
Speaker 1: What is we going to do.
52:28
Speaker 2: I have a feeling he's the same person who'd be like, no,
52:29
Speaker 2: they're going to use it on drugs.
52:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was really just trying to show me up.
52:34
Speaker 1: He was, He does that all the time anyway.
52:42
Speaker 2: I mean to be fair, I want to stop giving
52:44
Speaker 2: to the government too, because I know they don't do
52:46
Speaker 2: You're not wrong, but we should hold the government an accountable.
52:49
Speaker 1: Right and also your twenty dollars is just not going
52:52
Speaker 1: to do it. Sorry, we need another system.
52:55
Speaker 2: What are we doing with it? Okay? Moving on again.
53:01
Speaker 2: Working around the system was not necessarily a theme there,
53:05
Speaker 2: but I was like they were doing trying to do
53:06
Speaker 2: what they could, talking about how they had to do
53:08
Speaker 2: these things so what they can continue to qualify and
53:11
Speaker 2: many people be like that's scheming and like what just
53:14
Speaker 2: like what what do you? What do you The fact
53:18
Speaker 2: that they have to do this is already that's the
53:19
Speaker 2: that's the problem. Yeah, that's the problem, not that they
53:23
Speaker 2: they're doing it, but they have to mm hmm. And
53:27
Speaker 2: I feel like again Elizabeth really killing out with those things,
53:30
Speaker 2: like what is the problem like that? I think so
53:33
Speaker 2: so many people are just like, you know what, Okay,
53:37
Speaker 2: we gotta do what we gotta do, and they're just
53:39
Speaker 2: used to We're just used to it and it shouldn't
53:41
Speaker 2: be it shouldn't be that way.
53:45
Speaker 1: Yeah.
53:45
Speaker 2: And then lastly, because I think like it's good to
53:48
Speaker 2: know because they were trying to stay away from it.
53:50
Speaker 2: And I think they do a good job about the
53:51
Speaker 2: inspiration porn about as Emily from Domestifying Disability talks about
53:57
Speaker 2: like pity porn, and how they really took this made
54:00
Speaker 2: sure that Patrice was the center of the story and
54:04
Speaker 2: she was telling the story and that she was protected.
54:07
Speaker 2: And I think that's that's something that's so important because
54:12
Speaker 2: we've normalized inspiration porn in order to get people to
54:17
Speaker 2: care instead of making it understand No, but that's not
54:21
Speaker 2: what we should have to do. You should care immediately,
54:24
Speaker 2: and these stories should tell you what we're trying to
54:26
Speaker 2: do and whose story we're trying to center and why
54:30
Speaker 2: it needs to be. And I think that's that they
54:32
Speaker 2: did a great job. Again, there's a lot of things,
54:34
Speaker 2: of course, with different programs like this that we don't
54:37
Speaker 2: have the authorities to say this is good, this is bad.
54:41
Speaker 2: It's a good representation. We get like other people's opinions
54:45
Speaker 2: who are in that community to let us know what
54:48
Speaker 2: it is like. We let them dictate with this. But
54:50
Speaker 2: I know this was really celebrated for the work, especially
54:54
Speaker 2: again the way they brought in the different types of
54:57
Speaker 2: care and normalizing care for the actors themselves, the type
55:01
Speaker 2: of actors that they brought in to be a part
55:04
Speaker 2: of the show or the movie. I think that's so important.
55:08
Speaker 2: I did look up to see how much Patrice made
55:10
Speaker 2: and how much everybody made. I couldn't get that information.
55:13
Speaker 2: I did think. I think she got like I saw
55:15
Speaker 2: a number of twenty thousand at one point, and I
55:17
Speaker 2: could be wrong. And then of course she's credited as
55:19
Speaker 2: a writer in here and a creator in here, so
55:23
Speaker 2: I think she'll get more and more money. Documentaries are
55:26
Speaker 2: really kind of iffy, I know that. Yeah, with like
55:30
Speaker 2: money making and all that they do have. They ha
55:33
Speaker 2: merch for the movie, specifically to the movie, and like
55:36
Speaker 2: going to organizations that are actually affiliated with this. So
55:40
Speaker 2: I did see that some of that. I believe it
55:42
Speaker 2: was under the Philadelphia film Ooh yeah, I'm so sorry.
55:48
Speaker 2: You may be able to just find it on their
55:50
Speaker 2: site in general, which is again put the www. Patrisethemovie
55:57
Speaker 2: dot com. But they have a lot of different reasons,
56:00
Speaker 2: and yes, you can do a lot of activity and fundraising.
56:04
Speaker 2: Help Hope Love is one of the fundraisers they have
56:07
Speaker 2: on their nonprofit and that's I think that's how she
56:12
Speaker 2: actually got her van. That's organization organization she used. They
56:17
Speaker 2: also give you information about the disability language, as we've
56:20
Speaker 2: talked about previously. It's a really great site, so you
56:22
Speaker 2: should go and look up. They also have a apparently
56:26
Speaker 2: John Oliver did an episode about disability benefits with Patrese.
56:32
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Yes, I don't think.
56:34
Speaker 2: Okay, that was when.
56:35
Speaker 1: That was when I was paranoid, not paranoid, but I
56:38
Speaker 1: was like, they keep doing episodes soon after we do
56:41
Speaker 1: episodes and someone listening to our show, which I'm sure
56:45
Speaker 1: it was just like the zeitgeist.
56:48
Speaker 2: To us. Yeah, yeah, if they do another episode, we know.
56:55
Speaker 1: But yes, so you can numerous numerous examples that you can.
57:00
Speaker 2: Go to her site. You can get marched there. Yes,
57:03
Speaker 2: they have wonderful march. Oh it's okay one with them
57:06
Speaker 2: as a cartoon being married. I might have to get
57:08
Speaker 2: that shirt and different things. So you should go and
57:12
Speaker 2: look that up for yourself. Again, it's www. Dot patresethemovie
57:17
Speaker 2: dot com. Also, again you should go watch the movie.
57:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really really good.
57:22
Speaker 2: It's so good. It made me laugh, it made me cry.
57:28
Speaker 1: And visually very I loved the visuals of it. I
57:34
Speaker 1: thought it was fantastic, but yes, clearly it brought up
57:38
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts. It's so relevant right now and
57:43
Speaker 1: even previously, but right now especially, so go check it out.
57:47
Speaker 1: If you have any thoughts about it, please let us know.
57:50
Speaker 1: You can email us at Hello at Stuffnever Told You
57:52
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky, at
57:55
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57:58
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58:01
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58:03
Speaker 1: always too our super producer Christina, our executive Prisina, and
58:06
Speaker 1: your contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for
58:08
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